
I have lived through curious shifts, some of them due to the fact that I moved to a country, where things were already shifted, and then they shifted more.
Portugal is still in many ways way more “sexist” against women than the US.
When I was a kid it was openly so. Women were just believed to be a lesser form of human. Period. full stop. Even when you were a female acknowledged as not being lesser in some characteristic, this didn’t absolve you from the flaws of your sex.
I could whip most men in mental contest with half a brain tied behind my back, but I was often congratulated on keeping my emotional nature in check, or considered fragile emotionally for reasons that were, more often than not, baffling to me. I was also of course congratulated on being “unusually smart FOR A WOMAN.
Rest assured I wasn’t injured by this. Perhaps it is a factor of being Odd, but mostly it amused me no end. I collected funny disparaging comments, not because they were hurtful but because they were funny.
The country and the culture has changed, under the influence of feminism, but here’s the thing: culture doesn’t really change. Not that fast. It changes very slowly if at all. The external forms have changed, and women are now expected to excel above men in school, same as here (part of it being of course that the game is rigged) but women are still expected to excel in female accomplishments, from cooking to crafts to child care. The result is overburdened women, and men who still are expected to dominate all public life, other than specialized professions.
That’s fine. They’ll change, or not, and it’s their problem.
But here–
Ah, here. By the time I came over, women ten years older than I were convinced the world was against them. By the time I came over, in the mid eighties, it really no longer was. Absent some bizarre pockets and strange sub cultures (which exist, given how huge and widepread this country is) women in the eighties were already expected to excel in school and business, and sometimes non subtly given legs up by “affirmative action.”
I didn’t realize how crazy things had got till my kids entered public school in the mid-nineties.
In the early to mid-nineties, when I joined the MOB — Mothers of Boys, of course — there was a already a surplus of women wanting to birth only girls.This is very much a US phenomenon and back then it was pushed hard in sitcoms and movies, where a pregnant woman referred to her “daughter” while the husband wanted a “son.” And even back then, this was viewed as chauvinism on the MAN’S PART.
This entire interplay baffled me. In Portugal there was a preference for boys, though after two or three both parents might want a girl. But if anyone wanted a girl, it was usually the dad. So, the idea that each parent wanted to reproduce only his/her kind, that there was some kind of competition was BAFFLING.
And then my kids entered elementary school.
And it quickly became obvious boys were treated as a kind of defective girl. Which got worse and worse until it culminated in puberty, where boys — later developing than girls, were asked to keep pace with them, even though neurologically they were incapable to do so.
We see a lot of victims of the trans fad pushing on people immature enough to not know what they are and believe they really can change and be fertile as the other sex. (Believe it or not they’re telling kids this will soon be possible.)
And we’re aware of the girls who have their breasts cut off. Of the hysterectomies. Of biological men displacing women in sports and other fronts.
But few people are aware there are just as many — maybe more. I don’t know how exact the statistics are — males who get castrated, sterilized, given medical problems for life by being “transitioned” when they are too young to even know what male means.
But beyond all that, we have men being raised being told from the youngest age possible that they are defective because they are male. That they need to be punished because they are male. That their deepest instincts, to pair-bond and protect a woman are wrong and evil and bad. That wanting to father children, wanting to father sons, is wrong and evil and bad.
They are told that women were oppressed for six thousand years because of males. (Not that everyone was differently oppressed because of biology.) That they are guilty of all that, somehow, though their entire life they’ve been discriminated against — hard or soft — for being male. They’ve had to learn in environments not tailored for males. They’ve had to excel — if they do — despite being taught by women who believe the only reason women aren’t perfect and perfectly happy is that males exist.
…. And then people are surprised sperm counts are down. That men aren’t engaging in family formation. That more and more young men are become psychological basket cases, unable to engage in real life. And they’re ridiculed by it. The term incel is applied almost exclusively to men. And there’s assumed to be something wrong with them, if they aren’t out there, spreading their seed irresponsibly.
We see female fantasies on the screen all the time. And in books. Romance novels are female fantasies. But James Bond was a pure male fantasy. And those early movies, literally could not — COULD NOT — be made today. The Ree of sexist, etc. would start one minute in.
The problem is that none of this is the way that idiots in charge assume it is. Societal organization and status is not a a zero sum game.
You don’t elevate women by destroying men. You don’t elevate men by destroying women.
Willing or not, we are yoked together, as partners. Even single people function better in a society where men and women are individually able to chose their profession, and their course in life, and be their best selves without men being told their defective women, and women being turned into sort of men manque, which their biology doesn’t suit them to.
And no one is happiest being told that their sole and most important focus should be their career. Yes, some very driven or very crazy individuals will focus on their careers to the exclusion of a family life. These tend to be what you’d expect: scientists, doctors, artists, writers. (I mean, I’d write, anyway, even if I had half a dozen kids, because I had to write.)
But for most people a job is not a career. It’s simply a way to earn your way, so you can live. And what gives meaning to life are relationships: familial, marital, parental, amicable.
All of which require a healthy relationship where men and women can each pursue their happiness without crazy people telling them they’re doing it wrong.
So, you know, the people who want to be housewives and mothers? So what? What business is it of anyone else? Seamstress is mostly a female word? So, what? There are gifted ones, as there are in any profession. The people who want to be corporate raiders? So what? There are more males than females who want to do that? So what? What business is it of anyone? More boys want to be engineers than girls? So what? More woman want to be romance writers than men? So what? More men want to write science fiction than women? So what?
The world is not a game of proportional representation. Who you are and what you do is determined by more than your sex, your skin color, or for that matter who you like to sleep with.
You are not a widget with certain characteristics, and you shouldn’t be aggrieved if people who share one or two of you characteristics don’t do as well in x or y as people with other characteristics.
If you want to do the thing, and people like you traditionally don’t? So what? Yeah, some people will look at you funny. If you can’t withstand funny looks (oh, the micro-injustice) the problem is with you, not society. Your answer to that type of thing should be “Shrug. So what?” And then do what you feel you must.
And stop paying attention to number games.
Right now we’re destroying both men and women by the numbers.
And society cannot survive this. Because society is not a number game, but a chaotic system of individuals, each striving for individual happiness.
Stop destroying the future. By the numbers.















































