Rogue Magic – Free Novel – Chapter 18

For previous chapters, click here

*This is the new free novel I’m posting here a chapter at a time.  This is pre-first-draft, as it comes out.  It is a sequel to Witchfinder which will soon be taken down (once edited) and put for sale on Amazon (And at this point I’m hoping that will happen by the beginning of July at the latest).  Meanwhile, if you donate $6 or more, I’ll get you a copy of Rogue Magic, once finished and edited, in your favored ebook format.  Of course, if you’re already subscribing to the blog at a level at which you get whichever books come out that year, you don’t need to worry. *

NOTICE: For those unsure about copyright law and because there was a particularly weird case, just because I’m making the pre-first draft of my novel available to blog readers, it doesn’t mean that this isn’t copyrighted to me.  Rogue Magic as all the contents of this blog is © Sarah A. Hoyt 2013.  Do not copy, alter, distribute or resell without permission.  Exceptions made for ATTRIBUTED quotes as critique or linking to this blog. Credit for the cover image is © Ateliersommerland | Dreamstime.com

roguemagiccover

 

Miss Ginevra Mythborn

“You know, it really is too bad of you to waylay me like this,” I said, and crossed my legs below the knee, in a way that looked like I was relieving the tension of my position, but which, in fact, gave me a chance to display my ankle by folding an edge of the skirt “accidentally.”

Yes, the Witchfinder was bonded – married to the princess Royale – and quite faithful to her, it was rumored at least.  But that didn’t mean he was dead, and most men in this land had been so deprived of the sight of female flesh that a displayed ankle was enough to set their hearts aflutter.

But Seraphim Ainsling, Duke of Dark Water, the King’s Witchfinder, didn’t even flick a look of interest at it.  I remembered it was said that his wife had been raised in, and still sometimes visited other lands, and I wondered if he’d grown inured.  I’d been in a world, once, where full nudity was the norm, and men wouldn’t even look – unless they were alone with you and then they did.  It seemed to me to make life very bland, taking the pleasure of the daily looks women cast men and men cast women – a pleasure that costs nothing.  Well, except in this one word—

I disciplined my mind forcefully, and looked up at the Witchfinder.  Too late I realized I’d advanced my lower lip in what could be regarded as a pout, and looking up at his eyes, I found them full of amusement.  He’d understood our play as well as I did, and I amused him.  I, who had made men cry, and driven more stable men than he to despair and suicide, amused His Grace.  I tried not to grit my teeth.  It would only amuse him more.

“I know why you came over,” he said.  “And what hooks you set into our world.  What I’m not sure of, or not absolutely, is how the hooks were set, or how to remove them.  I am also, pardon me, somewhat at a loss to parse out your history.  Are you born elsewhere and elsewhen but raised here?  The marks on your magic seem to show that, but of course your magic is so unusual.  And are you a standard siren, or something else entirely?” On the word siren he looked towards my ankle, and then up at my face, and I realized he was teasing me.

It was such a shock, such a surprise, that it robbed me of power of speech.  Not that it would have done him any good, could I have spoken, as I had absolutely no idea what I was, something very hard to explain to him.  The Pater might know what I was, but even then I doubted it.  The old soot was as likely to sleep with whatever crossed his path as Jonathan Blythe, with perhaps even less regard to gender.  And what he’d got me from only he knew.  Or perhaps he didn’t.

As for the rest.  “I’ve been in many worlds,” I told him, my voice flat of emotion, because it was, and also because there is absolutely no reason to give the opposition more tools than you can help.

“Of course you have,” Ainsling said, and smiled civilly, and walked behind the desk.  “As a sort of all purpose agent, and assassin for your…  For your king, at least, though he might be more for all I know.  In fact, among your people, he might very well be your king, your lover and your father, might’n’t he?”

I felt blood climb, hot, from my neck to my cheeks, and said, “Not among–  Not myself,” because again, it was hard to defend.  I’m not sure what Pater is, exactly.  He’s not my lover.  I’ve done things that would make Seraphim blanch, but not that.  Not because Pater – likely – sired me, but because of what Pater is.  As well lay with a bout of the plague as with the Lord of the Thunderbolt.

Then I felt it, the little jab beneath the surface of my magic, and I realized what Ainsling was doing.  And I cursed myself for several kinds of fool.

Look, the first thing they teach you, at schools for the control of magic – they don’t teach magic as such.  That you’re born with.  They teach you to control it and aim it – is that emotions make your shields less efficient.  Anyone trying to interrogate you, and unable to force a truth spell beneath your defenses will try to get a rise out of you.

In my defense, most men didn’t try.  Not around me.  The type of power I have seems to strike most men with a sort of wonder and awe and they either find me repulsive – this happened a lot while I was growing up in Avalon, and for the longest time I thought that it was my ginger hair – or they treat me with a respect normally reserved to elderly and infirm females who have the capacity to disinherit them.

I never had to do anything to command respect.  Even raised in a home for magical orphans, even taken to balls to meet likely husbands, even while wearing threadbare clothes and last year’s fashions, I’d never had any trouble commanding respect.  In fact, the opposite used to gall me.  My friends, whom I objectively knew were not half as beautiful – let alone accomplished – as myself, found husbands within two or three balls, but most of the time I wasn’t even asked to dance, and just stood there, like a mannequin, while men bowed to me and treated me as though I were a duchess in disguise, but never talked to me, or… much less, dared touch me.

There I was, as dignified as a chicken taken to fair, with her legs tied down, and there they were, acting like I could smite them without thinking.  Which I could, of course.  Which is why I was three years older than all the other girls, too.  It had taken that long for them to teach me to control my magic.

It wasn’t until Pater had sent his agents to find me, that I’d discovered what had been wrong, then learned to enjoy it.  And learned to turn it upside down, as it were, so men couldn’t help being attracted, and wishing to talk and touch.  Which had been very useful, the last ten years in the places Pater had sent me.

To find out, now, that both the awe-inspiring facet of my power, and the seduction ability had failed me, was like walking down a familiar path in the night, and feeling the ground give out under you.

But then I realized that Ainsling wasn’t much happier than I was.  The amusement had gone out of his eyes, and his mouth quirked in a way that might betray amusement, but betrayed bitterness most of all.  He sat behind his desk and looked at me.  “Here is the thing, Miss … Mythborn.  We are not savages.  We use magic for everyday things.  I understand your land – or so my brother tells me – attaches here and there, bleeding magic from the worlds it touches.  I can give you a hundred such worlds where you can bleed the magic and cause no disruption.  In some of them, in fact, magic being illegal, taking it away from the poor unfortunates who can’t help having it would be an improvement.  In Avalon, though, we’re not savages, and magic powers all our civilization.  We can’t allow you to bleed our world, and I’m amazed you’d even try.  Surely, you must know if you try, it will be a battle to the death between our worlds.”

I almost told him, then, why his world.  It was a calculated risk, and Pater had said I could take such.  I looked up at him, and was about to tell him we had no more choice in this than he did, but the door opened suddenly.

In the doorway stood a young man, who looked much like Darkwater but was younger – at that age when men are no longer boys but are not yet men.

“Michael!” Darkwater said, standing.  I sensed shock, and concern.  “What are you doing here, past the guards, past—”

“It’s Gabriel,” the young man said, and I shivered, understanding that to be the name they gave the other, their half-mortal brother.

“What is Gabriel?” Seraphim asked.

“I think that’s the thing,” Michael said.  “It’s not Gabriel at all.  Fairyland has been breached and has its own kind of… changeling.”

I opened my mouth to say fairyland couldn’t be breached, then thought it might be if–  And then I ran for the door.

It was the work of a minute, to get up off the seat and run.  But the magical net stopped before I reached the door, and the Witchfinder said, “No, you don’t.  A moment, Michael.  I’ll see Miss Ginevra safely stowed, and then we can continue this talk without evesdropping.”

 

Catch the Wave — The Human Wave Garage Sale

Ladies, Gentlemen, Beings of Furritude, I come not to bury grey goo plotting but to yawn at it and to sigh “I don’t care what happens to all these characters” and — occasionally, when a novel rises a little bit above the common style

–, to sigh and say “I want them all dead by chapter two.”  (Ah, for a minion I could dispatch to story world.  “Guido, see to it.  I want them all dead by chapter two before they all start the belly button contemplating until it reels the mind.  Make them dead.  Hide the bodies.”  Of course, in many cases this would improve the pacing and action of the plot.  In others no one would notice.)

Traditional publishing, having become a thing of a small circle of NYC where everyone attended the same colleges and deconstructed the same books, seems more interested in impressing each other and themselves than in capturing the minds and fancy of the rest of the population.  That is fine.

For the longest time, of course, it wasn’t fine, and even as a reader I had trouble finding stuff to read.  For you see, I am an apostate.  I went to a fine college and was taught that the best of literature was stuff you had to slog through, but I never gave up my allegiance to Heinlein and Christie, to Dumas and Sir Walter Scott, to Shakespeare and Austen (and I don’t treat them like dry literature, either.  The puns alone in Shakespeare – he’d fit in this blog very well.)  But on leaving college, I fell into even worse company.  No, yay and verily, I’ve been known to read Heyer and, in a pinch, Nora Roberts.

I don’t want books that reassure me that all of humanity is a waste of oxygen an excess of carbon or a “cancer upon the Earth.”  Yeah.  Maybe it is, if you are a multi-pincered being from the Pleiades and  view humans as competition and want them to go away.  But I am a human among humans, and whom should I love if not my species?  Besides, multi-pincered beings are only good with drawn butter.

I don’t want books that reassure me that life is a tale written by a graduate student, full of fog and moral confusion, signifying nothing.

While I’m alive, I’ll live in bright colors.  If I wanted to be sedated, I’d go back to being on valium.  The only thing that books have to offer, above television, above movies, above games, is the ability to manipulate human emotions.  Words and the evoking of other senses, like smell, are the quickest route to the emotion.  We read fiction not to think but to feel.  To go adventuring with Captain Morgan, to duel with the Musketeers, to love with Juliette, and to cross the universe and time with Lazarus Long.

What virtue is there to giving up that, our form’s most potent weapon?  Or of all the emotions to choose only vile, grey despair?  There’s despair enough in the world.  There’s always been.  But humans who made a difference, humans who continued the species, who built civilization, fought, no matter how desperate their circumstances.  And those humans are my brothers and sisters.

I believe the propagation of humanity and of that civilization that has allowed the most prosperity to the most people is a good in itself. While I’m human I’ll love humanity.

I have nothing against trees or bears, and I’m rather fond of cats, but – except for the cats since some are members of my family – I owe none of those allegiance.  I owe allegiance to humanity, because I’m a human.  Extinction porn, and those who dream of a world without humans are sad beings, who somehow thought that humans should be infallible and flawless and therefore refuse to love humans as they are.  Sometimes, it is a man’s flaws that make him best.  A perfectly rational man could never love.  A perfectly steady man could never adventure.  And a perfectly balanced woman could never dream up characters who do both.

I have no animus against ants, and as long as they don’t interfere with humanity I wish them well, but who are they and their mode of living that we should imitate it?  And consider ourselves flawed because we don’t fit it?

That is where I stand and that is where a lot of readers stand, or will come to stand.  People like people and people like fun.

Human Wave is a literary movement (How posh that sounds) which is to say a bunch of us zanies, who propose to bring all that back to fiction and reading.

And now, that we have indie publishing, we CAN.

So, thanks to the lovely Sabrina Chase,who set the whole thing up and publicized it at her own expense – one of the things I love about Human Wave is that we do help each other.  Not because we feel guilty but because storming the castle is much more fun with friends – here is… The Human Wave Garage Sale going on through this week, at an internet near you.

The Inimitable Word Slinger and Story-Weaver Sabrina Chase:

The Long Way Home -1.99 for the kindle

Webspace pilot Moire Cameron is one of the best–but even she can’t fly her way out of a catastrophic drive failure that triggers a time-dilation bubble. Left suddenly eighty years out of date, she is on the run in a world she no longer knows, caught in the middle of a human-alien war while agents of Toren hunt her for the information only she has–the location of the pristine world of Sequoyah.

The Long Way Home is the first book in the Sequoyah trilogy.

The Bureau of Substandards Annual Report – 1.99 for the kindle

A collection of short stories set in the world of the Bureau of Substandards…

Hidden behind protective layers of government red tape, the Bureau of Substandards fights the good fight against interdimensional snake people, “helpful” allies, busybodies from Atlantis, the annual budget report, and, most dangerous of all…the HR department.

Sarah Hoyt

Ill Met By Moonlight – Young Will Shakespeare is a humble school master who arrives home to find his wife and infant daughter, Susannah are missing, kidnapped by the fairies of Arden Woods, the children of Titania and Oberon. His attempts at rescue are interrupted and complicated by a feud over throne of fairyland, between Sylvanus, king regnant, and his younger brother Quicksilver who is both more and less than he seems. Amid treachery, murder, duel and seduction, Shakespeare discovers the enchantment of fairyland, which will always remain with him, for good and ill. Free from the 1st to the 5th of August.

Spinning Away — In a world where the ability to pick what news will interest most people is very real power, Layna Smythe strives to stay ahead of her rivals and alive. She often forgets that she’s also lonely, until an attack reminds her of the man she left behind. Free from the 1st to the 5th of August.

Crawling Between Heaven and Earth — Sarah A. Hoyt’s first short story collection, initially published by Dark Regions Press in 2003.  Contains most of Sarah’s early published work. Free

Wings — Second short story collection. $2.99

Michael Hooten

Cricket’s Song, Book 1: The Cricket Learns to Sing — Cricket is a young orphan growing up on an obscure farm in the country of Glencairck.  He wants to be just like Harper, who plays for the people through the winter, but Harper is not content to let him just learn how to harp.  He teaches him the ancient traditions of the Bards of Glencairck, a noble order that is responsible for not just entertaining the people, but for providing impartial judgement to their disputes.  When Cricket is old enough, he enters the wide world  and finds that not everyone knows the old rules, or follows them.  He has to decide for himself what is right–and how far he is willing to go to defend his beliefs. Free for Kindle August 1-5

 Rawle Nyanzi

Alien Frontier — Fifteen-year-old Norma Teague must avoid getting drafted into an alien army. However, her home village demands that she go since she has a magic belt that lets her destroy any armor made of matter. $1.99

 Thomas Sewell

Hitchhiking Killer For Hire — A border gang beats Ex-Special Forces soldier Sam Harper and leaves him for dead in the desert. Sam must discover “Why?” in this story of government corruption and human smuggling in the near future west. Dedicated to Louis L’Amour. Free for Kindle August 1st through 5th

 Elizabeth Bruner

Flash of Fire — A collection of super short stories (1000 words or less) on the subject of fire. Ranging from the love of a volcano goddess to natural phenomena encountered as humans explore a distant planet, these stories evoke a sense of wonder and awe at the nature and power of fire. $.99 for Kindle August 1 through 5th

 Zachary Ricks

Battlehymn — (Also Barnes & Noble) It’s a story of giant robots, forbidden love, princesses in danger, and the power of rock ‘n roll. If you’re a fan of Macross, you might enjoy Battlehymn. $1.99

 Cedar Sanderson

Snow Angel — When a child’s imagination leads his mother to a startling discovery, she must then protect him and his guardian from unknown danger. A human mother is fiercer than angels! Free July 31 to August 4

Little Red and the Wolf-Man — Little Red wears a red cloak, and keeps her shotgun hidden under it. But Grandmother has the biggest secret in the forest, and she is dying… can Little Red help the forest dwellers? $1.49

 Mike Weatherford

Cynthia — (Also Barnes & Noble) Cynthia was a nice girl from a prestigious family, with a “nice-girl” education.  That didn’t help much when she found herself chased by an organized criminal element, captured by pirates, and stranded on a planet that was so deadly human government had declared it forbidden.  Luck, in the form of Rat – a trained survivalist – can help, but will it enable her to survive? $0.99

 Kiti Lappi –Novels:

Fourth Sword — A portal fantasy: woman from our world gets transported to one with an ongoing generations long war and working magic, and finds out, after some adventures and to her chagrin, that she was taken there for a purpose. $ 1.49

The Demons of Khemas — A tavern wench has fallen for a barbarian swordsman (not that she admits it). When he disappears she needs to find out what happened. $ 1.49

Short stories:

Nights of the Wampyrs — A small town has problems with a couple of vampires, and the only people who figure out what is going on realize they have to become vampire hunters. Old school vampires, based more on the European folk tales than the later fictionalized versions. First story tells of the birth of one vampire, the two others concentrate on the hunters.

Raven’s Night $0.99

After Night Descends $0.99

Night Work  free from 1st of August to 5th, $ 0.99 after that

Dealing with Elves — A young woman is drawn to a forest where elves live. Urban fantasy, mostly a mood piece. Free from 1st of August to 5th., $ 0.99 after that.

The Task — A ghost story set in a traditional fantasy world, a peasant girls shelters for a night in an abandoned castle. $ 0.99

 

Lost In My Own Mind (with no breadcrumbs.)

One of the problems with being a writer is that you end up living way too much in your own mind.

This is fun when what you’re doing is… oh, coming up with wonderful worlds, or even horrible ones, alluring characters, or perhaps even horrible but interesting ones.

What I’m trying to tell you here is that it’s fine to let your imagination run on the page, but do not under any circumstances let it run free in your real life.

Okay, fine, so I admit that I’m the sort of person who has to control herself not to make the story of her trip to the grocery store more exciting.

Early on I realized that telling my mom how I was attacked by brigands on the way to get peanuts at the corner store was a bad idea.  If it didn’t sound realistic, I got grounded for lying.  If it sounded realistic, mom went on the war path.

So I learned not to lie.  Though I reserved the right to tell the story of the hunting for the peanuts in as thrilling a way as I could, “And then there I was in the isle, when, looking to the right, there it was: PEANUTS.  Oh, how joyous I was—” etc.

For the rest of the stuff I wrote stories.  I mean, people in general don’t expect stories to be true.  Though there was the gentleman who chided me for making up elves in my biography of Shakespeare.  (Yes, he DID mean Ill Met By Moonlight.  No, I don’t know why.)

For the rest of the stuff I still write stories.  You can sort of assume that if I’m telling something as true, it is true as far as I know, always barring errors of memory and the way the past becomes colored in our minds.  (How is it that I always remember things happening at six, eight or fourteen?  I think the Author forgot to fill in the other years.)

I do know the limits of memory and what you think happened in the sense that after about twenty years things blur a bit, in my case particularly visual details.  There are places I’m sure I knew so well they live inside me and places in my head (the places I make up) look just like them.  My grandmother’s kitchen has done the turn of fantasy palace kitchen and science fiction kitchen/cottage.  And…  And yet, would I be shocked if I could go back to it?  Would I find I’d miscounted the number of chairs?  That the cabinets were the wrong shade of blue?  And how come I can’t remember the color of the walls at all?

Memory, particularly when you’re a writer, when it softens with the passing of years, tends to make things “better stories.”  Usually it messes the timing.  Say that this is the story of how I found a ring.  (No, I don’t think I ever did.)  In real life, I might never have found who the ring belonged to.  But my mind will conflate it with the story I heard years later of the woman who threw her engagement ring away, and I’ll be sure I found out that was her wedding ring.

Not, consciously, you realize – just over the years, as they pass, the random events assemble themselves into story.

That’s fine.  It’s human.  The human mind creates stories out of random.  It’s possibly what makes us human. The ability to turn “don’t go into the forest because there’s a 20% chance you’ll fall and break your leg and no one will find you in time into “don’t go into the forest, there are rodents of unusual size and swamps of flame.”  And if you made the story good enough, the kids believed it, and nothing bad happened.

However, there is a tendency being writers to make stories out of other things.  Specifically, to make stories out of things we don’t understand.  And since most of the things we don’t understand are people, there is a tendency to make up stories about how people are behaving this way because they personally hate us… or something.

Years ago, when I took the Kris and Dean Professional Writers Workshop, they kept telling us “Try very hard not to make up stories about why publishers or editors are doing things.  THAT can kill your career because you’ll decide they hate you and act weird.”

I’ll grant you it was easy to decide all publishers hated you. If you go by once it’s a mistake, twice it’s a coincidence, three times is enemy action, all of us midlisters were under enemy fire ALL the time.

But most of the time, it was just how the system worked.  Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t walk, when you finally could.  (Free, thank the Lord Almighty, free at last.) It just meant that your editor was not doing it on purpose.  He/she/it worked for a very large house, and if you weren’t one of the properties hotly defended you were more likely to get trampled and the book’s chances destroyed in bizarre ways than of getting off the gate with nothing bad happening.

It was almost impossible not to get paranoid, and of course my FEELINGS were often that everyone was against me, but realistically I knew mostly they didn’t remember I existed.  Sort of like the old joke “Everyone hates me.”  “Don’t be ridiculous.  Most of them don’t know you.”

But because my rational self knew that whatever the emotions, most people in NYC publishing didn’t in fact know I existed, I was very surprised when, telling an older writing friend about an editor missing an appointment with me, he teased me by saying “Oh, yes, he hates you and is trying to destroy your career.”  I guess he thought that’s what I was thinking because of how distressed I was.  I was distressed because I wasn’t absolutely sure I’d kept the appointment at the right place.  (I have no sense of direction.)  And paranoid or not, it’s not a good idea to stand up editors.  (Turns out we had each heard a different hour, and he called me and it got straightened out.)  But at the same time I wanted to say “Oh, that, no.  Thank you.  I’m not that stupid.”

At the same time, I couldn’t blame him.  I watched people go into meltdown because their editor didn’t smile at them in the elevator.  Writers and the sort of explosive emotional situation old publishing created resulted in… drama.

Since I left all publishers save the one I like and can deal with, I tend to keep from drama in my life.  The sad truth about me is that you can completely annoy me one day and I’ll forgive you in a week – not because I’m good natured but because I have a rotten memory for names. You can be a total asshat, and unless I really know you, in a week I won’t remember.

What this means is that I can be fulminatingly furious at someone in the field, but it won’t keep.  Look, I’m far more interested in what’s going on inside my head.  I can write an entire article talking about how wrong, wrong, wrong you are – not, mind you, calling YOU names, unless you have really stepped in it, which usually means you attacked me or one of mine in a personal way – but this doesn’t mean that when I meet you at Worldcon (in the once every five years I go) I’m going to cut you dead.  Chances are even if I think your politics or your favorite movie are repulsive, I find things about you to admire and even like.

Look I have friends – though they might feel otherwise about me – even among the glittery hoo-has of SFWA.  If we don’t talk about their particular issues, they can be pleasant and even interesting people.

One doesn’t condemn an entire person or forfeit an entire friendship just because our friend has one or two really stupid ideas.  If we did that, there would be no friendship and no person who passed muster – particularly among us opinionated lot.

What I mean is that I tend not to get in conflicts, and not to get involved in emotional drama, not because I’m particularly good, but because I’m really busy.  I’ve got barely enough strength for my daily life, my commitments, and my writing.  I do not have time to wonder if some friend is mad at me because I didn’t compliment her on her new sneakers, and I certainly don’t have time to be mad at you forever because you said my hair was funny.  Even when sneakers and hair are stories, or careers.

Unfortunately I’ve discovered, either because people are scared of what is happening in the field and trying to find emotional relief, or because publishers are not all consuming targets of their anger anymore, that some people have had feuds with me for years – that I was TOTALLY unaware of.

Usually the first I hear of it is when a friend of a friend says something like “I don’t want to get in the middle of your quarrel.”  Which leaves me blinking and going “Our what?” since I haven’t given this person half a thought in months.

This can be very flattering, of course.  It’s almost as good as having someone in love with you, when someone cares so much they carry on an entire quarrel without your even knowing.

But it’s a little bit crazy too.  Now, if you are in this field – or even if you aren’t, I understand this sort of thing happens in other careers too (though of course, I know as much about honest work as a duck knows about prospecting for gold) – and even in normal social life (about which I also know… yeah.  Ducks.  Gold.) – seriously, do try not to get involved in too many feuds.

I’ll admit the thing with SFWA got under my nose, like mustard, mostly because honestly, when they start going after older men for being older men, they’ve crossed lines that sheer decency would leave uncrossed.  I was mad, but it wasn’t personal.  I still am mad.  It still isn’t personal.

What I mean is, the people on the other side range from a handful of self-willed villains (or at least self-righteous harm-inflicting people) to a myriad of people who are just going along, just heard something, want to be on the side of angels.  Even when they act like loons, it doesn’t mean some of them aren’t quite decent, the sort of people I’d let catsit.

No, none of them have gone out of their way to pursue a feud with me – at least not that I’ve heard.  (Though granted, I haven’t heard much, more or less on purpose.)  I was just talking about that situation was an example, because of how insane it got and how fast, fueled by everyone’s imagination and wish to be offended.

I’m seeing that happen more and more, and the thing is, I think the reason it’s happening is that it doesn’t matter.  Someone said that disputes are hotter when the stakes are very, very small.

Right now, there is no proof that good standing in fandom, or with your professional equals means anything anymore.  A lot of the people who are buying books have never attended a con.  The local fandom can no longer affect the laydown of a book.  The author of Wool was second only to George R.R. Martin in sales, but when he attended a big con he had no one at his autograph session – because he was selling to people who don’t go to cons.

From personal experience cons have been losing importance.  Organized fandom has been losing the ability to influence sales… at the same time that not a week goes by I don’t hear of some new feud.  (Not usually involving me.)

I think it’s because, like thinking your publisher hated you was better than thinking you’d been THAT unlucky three times, thinking that people in the field are destroying you is better than thinking that you just haven’t figured out how to deal with the new conditions yet.

The problem is that when your creativity is going towards interpersonal drama, it’s not going to writing, or whatever you do for a living.  Also, it makes people outside the field think we’re nuts.  (Which might or might not matter ;) )

Do other professions experience this too?  Does it matter if someone is fighting with you if you’re not even aware of it?  What do you do about it in saner fields than SF/F?  Am I hurting myself by being unaware that some people might/might not have it in for me?  Where do people find the energy for al this?  Am I broken because my attitude is, “hate me all you want, so long as you’re not actively coming over to argue with me?”

I remember in the village women mostly spent their lives in interpersonal feuds over things like “she cut in front of me in the fish queue, so I’m going to cut in on her at the green grocers.”  Even back then, I couldn’t muster enough interest to remember who was mad at whom, and shocked people who were feuding with my family by talking to them – not out of good nature, but because I couldn’t remember.

Am I the only one with a wretched memory?  Or is it just that I channel so much inside, I couldn’t bother to remember who I was mad at?

Perhaps it costs me in sales, or friends, or something – but if I have to put that much drama into something, I want to sell it.

(Grumbles off, convinced there’s something seriously wrong with her.)

UPDATE: Different social mechanics post up at Mad Genius Club: Ten Ways to Leave your (Writers’) Group.

The Stately Writer

I was told that some people enjoy the posts on the state of the writer, which is good because I intended to bless you with one today.  Mostly because I’ve made some interesting observations on how I work, both from the PJM series on organizing your creative life, and from some other stuff.  And some of the observations still puzzle me, and will possibly likewise puzzle you.  Or perhaps not.  I have, after all, got useful advice here before.

The state of the writer is as follows: I realized yesterday, as I was putting up two collections – Crawling Between Heaven And Earth and Wings – that I hadn’t put anything up in over six months. Worse, I hadn’t logged on in over six months, to do things like take stuff off prime, which means I burned two sets of promo without taking it. (Note I’m not putting links to them.  They might not even be up, because of course having been published before, I probably need to confirm they’re mine to put up – even if they always were.  Dark Regions never bought e-rights – at any rate, I intend to have them free and at 2.99 – being long collections and holding to my policy of having shorts IN COLLECTION at a little less than 99c each, Crawling will be 7.99 and Wings 9.99 – for the Human Wave Garage Sale first week of August.  Since I love you guys, I’ll like when they’re free/cheap.)

I have had an account with Kobo for three months now and not put anything up.  I have not put up at Smashwords things that have rolled off prime.

The problem is that, as my poor subscribers know, I also haven’t done much in writing.  Oh, three short stories last month and one due in two days, but that’s not exactly a full work load for six months.

I haven’t even done much in the way of editing Witchfinder.  I started, got discouraged, and didn’t get into it again until this last weekend.

So, what on Earth has been going on?

There are people who talk of the bees sting theory of poverty.  Poor people might not have anything big wrong with them, but they have a multitude of little things.  The idea is if you’re bee-stung often enough, your life will come to a standstill.

I don’t doubt this is the case with some poor people, though the times I’ve been in that situation, in a monetary way, there was underlying issues (health, mostly) beneath.  Like right after Robert was born, I think I went into hibernation mentally and emotionally for about a year and a half, and things accumulated, like clothes that needed just a stitch to be usable again.  And yes, we were desperately poor through that time.  Robert was born on COBRA and cost us 20k out of pocket. But the way I was also meant that I couldn’t get off my behind and do something to alleviate the poverty, like attempt to sell some of our stuff, or make crafts for sale, or something.  I’ve since found this isn’t unusual for people who are recovering from severe pre-eclampsia and being bed-ridden for six months.  Radical de-conditioning and all that.  I didn’t become myself again till we’d moved here and I made it a point of taking Robert for daily walks.

Interestingly, the latest symptom in the “Sarah isn’t doing anything” saga has been that I stopped daily walks for almost three weeks.  Yes, I was sick and out of breath, but I should – and normally do – walk, even if slower.

So, what is going on?

It is my theory that I was already full-up as a writer.  What I mean is that about two years ago, except for being terribly depressed about my prospects, I was writing four to six novels and some short stories a year and a blog almost every day, and that’s my full complement of work.  Or at least, it was.

Then I started doing a blog every day.  That’s fine, but I need to make an alteration (which I’ll explain) on my methods.

Then I started trying to do publishing.

Then I added the gig at PJM.

You know about the straw that broke the camel’s back?  (There is a similar proverb in Portuguese which I can’t now remember about the grain of sand that broke the horse.)

Like that.  The things added onto the writing are smaller each time, but the sum total of it is for me to sit here most of the time, feeling like I have so much to do I don’t know where to start.

Except, of course, I always knew where to start.  I mean when I was fourteen/fifteen and desperately shy (I put up a good front online and I have a persona at cons, but as much as it would shock most of you I was the classical introvert growing up and to an extent still am) I would hide from large gatherings (which for some reason became very common for my family at this time of my life) by going to the kitchen and starting to “make neat” while the party was in progress.  This also kept me out of my mom critiquing my social manners because she was so grateful that she could finish the party with the kitchen clean.  (In a society with no paper plates/cups, often you washed the same dishes four times while the party was in progress.)  Later, my friends started coming over from across the street to help and the kitchen party was as merry or more than the party-party.

Anyway, for really big parties, like my brother’s wedding, when I went into the kitchen, even right after it had started, it was mind boggling.  There would be dishes, pots and pans piled on every surface and you just stared around and didn’t know where to start.

What I learned then is that you started anywhere at all.  After you cleared the sink enough to start washing, you washed enough to clear a portion near you, covered that in towels (so you could invert dishes on it without water dripping onto the floor) and then started piling the clean dishes there, till you cleared and cleaned and covered in towels the next nearest area, by which time the first set was dry and could be put away.  (My mom only got a dishwasher when I moved out – she has an instinctive dislike of machinery.)

It’s the same when you’re contemplating a mess in your schedule, of course, but the thing is that it’s not… as immediately obvious.  It never occurred to me that I was overwhelmed, only that I always felt tired and vaguely ill (more on that later) and that what I really wanted to do was go away and work elsewhere (which I do at the undisclosed location known as officeish, though the last two or three times haven’t been very productive because I was so tired.)

Three things have happened to alter that.  First, I went away to an undisclosed location over the weekend.  Despite the fact that celebrating our anniversary took quite a bit of time – shut up wretches! I mean we went to dinner somewhere nice! Okay, okay, there was also the walk in the park with the geese (I love it this time of year because there are half-grown goslings.) – I took the print out of Witchfinder up, did about half of it and did not get discouraged by how many times I changed names of minor characters or such.

Also, I came back feeling very relaxed, which made me go “um.” And suddenly I was able to face publishing again.

The second thing relates to the time away too.  By the second night, I woke up with my airways clear and realized that they hadn’t been for close to two years.  We came back home and that night, I was clogged again and not sleeping very well.

I think I’ve identified the cause.  It’s something that was done to our heating/air-conditioning system about a year after it was installed and which I SAID at the time was a stupid idea, but the workmen insisted was the only way to make the thing work.  It eventually led to our aerostatic cleaner breaking and, well… let’s say the air in the house might as well be feeding from the unfinished crawl space.  Which would be fine, if I didn’t have delicate airways.  My younger son, too, has been “clogged up” for seven years.

So, I had an estimator over on fixing the mess – no, it won’t be cheap.  Yes, I hate to spend the money.  But I think in the long run it will do more for me than getting a cleaning lady, because when I’m not getting enough oxygen, I won’t use the extra time well.  Also, it will make the house easier to keep clean.

The other thing in the same vein is that Havey will have to have a bath every week.  THAT is going to be fun.  However, I noticed when he had a bath at the vets, he was much pleasanter to be around for two weeks, so…  (The other cats are all short hair.) I don’t know how much of this is Havey and how much it is that his fur absorbs household dust like… a duster, so he carries all the allergens around with him.

Okay – so what is the third thing I noticed? – well, last two weeks I put my blogs up ahead of time.  I wrote them all on Sunday, then put them.  This week I couldn’t do that, because Sunday was traveling, catching up on what was going on at home, and dealing with such things.

What I noticed is that if I do the blogs ahead of time this leaves me feeling less stressed and able to get more accomplished during the day.

The problem of course is that I usually conk out after 4 blogs in a day – which means to cover a whole week, I need a guest blog or so.  So… If my delightful commenters want to pitch in, I’ll be grateful.

The other thing I’m doing – having realized everything ground to a TOTAL halt when I got back my backlist and wanted it all up “yesterday” – is paying people to edit my old stuff or for things I have to do myself (The Magical British Empire will take considerable but subtle rewrite.)

Again, as with cleaning the air, it’s something I hate to pay to do, because, well, I do.  We have reason to believe – fingers crossed – our income will be secure for a while now, but still, in the times we live in, I don’t like spending money.  (And writers’ income is always iffy, so…)

But sometimes you have to spend money to make money – and I think it’s criminal to have the books up and not up and pimping their slutty little selves.

Of course part of this is that getting people to do other stuff also inspires me with the desire to do more stuff – like I told Dan over getting someone to edit No Will But His “Now I feel like writing all the dead queens, from Aragon to Parr.  And I could do it relatively easily because of course I know them so well.  Probably a week per book, with maybe another week to research.

The problem is, of course, I still am only one person, I have two books due at Baen (and a third that will go to them too) and five indie books in various stages of writing/revision/editing.  And I promised fans that if I can get all the musketeers up by December I’ll do The Musketeer’s Confessor for Christmas.

I do understand the process.  Just like when faced with the horrible kitchen, if you keep at it, eventually you turn the corner, and then are doing each cup as it comes in, and sending your helpers in to scour the sideboards for abandoned saucers, and finish at the end of the party with a sparkling kitchen, there is a race here.

At a party it’s between your washing and the rate at which people use dishes.  Here, it’s between my available time and the work load, keeping in mind that the more things I have out the more money comes in and the more – eventually – I have to pay people to do things.

Think about it, if I have enough out to bring in a minor salary, I CAN pay someone to clean and not feel guilty about spending the money.  I might even have enough money to “buy time away” which means I get more done (objectively, over the weekend, I did what normally would take me a week.)  Which means I get more stuff up, which means I make more money.  Which will free more time for me to write things.

There is a limit, of course.  Even I – probably – can’t write two books a month.  Probably.  At least not consistently.  But I could do one a month, I think, if I didn’t have all the other responsibilities.

And of course, somewhere along the line, the kids will move out, too.  They’re young men, and they shouldn’t give much work – I mean, they actually try to help – but there’s no denying there is a world of difference between running a household of two accommodating adults who spend most of their time together, and a household of four adults/young adults, which live very complex lives.

But right now I’m in the tough part – the part of getting as much stuff out as fast as I can, while not stinting the job.

And I’ve decided, yes, I’ll need to spend some money.  And I’ll need to learn to trust and delegate.  And I’m going to need to plan ahead. And I’m going to need to blog in advance.

It can be done.  But the state of the writer, as of write now is hopeful if subdued and horrified at having to spend money ;).

Oh, and the thing is, with all this, I wouldn’t even be a bit surprised if having put this out there someone who’s been indie longer comes and tells me “Oh, that’s the year and a half slump.  Like, you put something out, then it’s six months before you put the second piece?  Yeah, a year and a half later, you have this slump and go silent for six months.  Well known.”  There are weird rhythms in these things that we’re just figuring out.

Well, we go on.  And we find out.

 

Forever Young

I’ve been reading How Civilizations Die: (And Why Islam Is Dying Too) in between two other books, because… it’s like this: I have a great desire to re-read Jane Austen, so I’ve done Pride and Prejudice and am now halfway through Persuasion (and let me tell you what a relief it is that these old friends are only 1.99).  I read those at night because I’ve found if I read non-fiction or even sometimes new fiction, I wake in the night in argument with it.  “Yes, but it’s not like that.”  I suspect it’s like eating oysters before going to bed and causes your brain to go into hyperdrive.  Then I’m reading Dr. Helen’s Men On Strike, but it’s slow going for two reasons.  Her writing, is superb and eminently enjoyable, but the subject has a way of ambushing me, either by reviving anger at circumstances I’ve encountered and which I have, since, talked myself down from, or by exposing me to things I didn’t even know where happening.  It has to be read slowly, lest I happen to someone.  The other reason is that I’m an idiot.  (But we’d established that.)  Being a bear of very little brain I did what I do to books of authors I like and know personally and bought it hard cover for the future signature. This is a problem, because I don’t want to hurt it.  Which means (grumble) I might need to buy a kindle copy because I find more and more most of what I read is on the paperwhite because it’s easy to carry around and, in a Ziploc, safe for the kitchen.

So… what this means is that I’m reading three books at different times and in different parts of the house, which, to be honest, is fairly normal.  (Unless it’s a book/series we all follow, and I have to concentrate on finishing as soon as possible, before Dan or the kids loses patience and absconds in this.  On matters such as “do you sometimes buy two kindle copies, a hardcover and a paperback” it is better to be silent, as it might have an awful lot to do with the wretched state of our wallets. But hey, the kids can take their own copies when/if they move, and won’t suffer the horrible trauma I did, leaving all their best friends behind.)

Anyway, back to Mr. Goldman.  Like me he thinks our problem is not overpopulation but is, or soon will be a birth dearth.

I disagree with him only insofar as I think he places too much faith in UN statistics.  I’d be shocked near onto death to find any of those is accurate, and while it’s possible that they’re undercounting people (after all, the laziness of local officials must be accounted for) I think on the balance they’re overcounting, due to the advantages of that error: more international subsidies; more pride-of-race; considerably more machismo.

I could be wrong.  I’m afraid it’s a situation in which “nobody knows not’ing” again, just like our own increasingly cooked statistics.  But in these situations in general, though we cannot have proof without extensive research, we do know the way to bet.  (And on research, put not your faith in princes, etc.  Almost every Western researcher, up to and very much including the CIA were absolutely sure that the population, industrial production, etc. of the USSR were what the government said – even though, again, it was a bet statistics were cooked and everyone knew the way to bet on HOW they were cooked.

Anyway, so far Goldman has advanced three theories for why civilizations stop reproducing themselves, and all of them – I’ll admit – apply to an extent: lack of cultural confidence/belief in a civilization as a ‘race’ that must go on, regardless of the rest of humanity; education of women; loss of religious faith.

All three of them, to be sure, are a concomitant part of the birth dearth in the west.  Weather they do cause it, it’s something else, though.

For one, I think Mr. Goldman is being – like most Americans, and even any number of Britishers – either too generous or too naïve about other cultures.  I meet with this again and again.  People with decent enough educations who have travelled abroad will, without irony, make statements like “Americans are the most racist/intolerant/provincial” people on the planet.  At which point my jaw drops open and I wonder “Are you for real?”

I can only attribute this belief to the fact that few people speak a language fluently enough to eavesdrop on foreigner conversations, and fewer still have the sort of “mongrel looks” and manner ;) with which I was blessed, where, depending on what I’m wearing and with whom I’m hanging out at the time, I can pass as a native pretty much anywhere.  So, I’m going to assume most Americans never hear people from the rest of the world letting their hair down, and en-famile, being themselves.

Suffice it to say that so far from being the only racist country in the world, the US is the only country in which racism is utterly unacceptable not just in material stuff like hiring (the rest of the anglosphere at least also seems to find this unacceptable) but in the sense of being a thought crime, so that it has almost vanished from jokes, conversations, and even in most cases thoughts.  As is, at that, “racism” unless it’s used as an accusation by someone losing an argument, is a matter of the more obvious race differences.  To the extent Americans are very careful not to discriminate the people they don’t discriminate against are black and secondarily Hispanic (because they’ve been browbeaten into thinking their objection to unchecked immigration is racist) with people who are far darker but not organized racial minorities (Indians) and people who can be darker but do so well in America that Universities consider them a majority, like Asians.

And because of our peculiar condition as a nation of Intent and Belief, we of course don’t consider ourselves a “race.”  In fact we confused my mom greatly by being “all sorts.”  And there hinges the thing most Americans can’t and don’t get.  Portuguese and Spaniards can tell between themselves on sight.  Despite all the interbreeding that two near neighbors much at war couldn’t avoid, they can (I REMEMBER) tell which one people are.  In the same way they can distinguish between French and Germans, English and Irish, and a fine degree of permutations within for the larger countries. (I could never distinguish between Swedes and Norwegians to their chagrin – or not to any degree of certainty, though I could guess with some confidence.)

By this I mean that pride of breed – which they would call race – and a certainty they’re superior to all others is still very strong in those countries.  And yet, both Portugal and Spain are dying of failure to reproduce.

The same goes for religion.  Yeah, I know, on paper it looks like post modern godlessness is leading to the death of populations.  But trust me, the paper is confused.  Portugal in my parents generation reproduced less than in their parents, and I’d guess except among the very educated putting on a pose for strangers (at that) Portugal is as religious as most places in the US.  And yet, my generation has practically ceased to have kids.  Which, because I also believe Goldman about how fast Islamic populations are crashing, also explains how their pride of race (trust me, kids) and their religion that permeates every facet of life, has failed to keep them popping out kids.

Education of women does have a strong influence, as does the participation of women in the work force.

First, because – duh – it delays reproduction.  When I studied history one of the best indicators of whether population was expanding or contracting was the age of marriage for women.  It’s a very vexing thing for us women who are rational beings that the peak of fertility seems to occur between the ages of 16 and 25 or so.  That is, by the time a woman has finished her bachelors and had time to look about her for a moment or two, and – unless she’s very lucky – before she knows if there is a man for her, the chief of her fertility is gone. Then each five years after that, it gets worse.

Second, women who are working might be too tired to engage in quite so much… ah… marital combustability as can overcome that lapse of fertility.  (Might be!  Ah.  After a kid or two and while working, I’d call it a natural family limiter.)

Third, we’re not absolutely sure of the effect of stress on women’s reproductive systems, nor what constitutes “stress” frankly.  It is possible there is a high correlation, though I don’t know of any studies and must therefore follow two unreliable paths of information – first, almost all high strung women (self included, yes) I know had trouble conceiving or keeping the pregnancy.  Second, it is a folk belief that a woman who is fretted will not get pregnant.  (Now mind I also know women in abusive marriages who kept having kids.  But one must wonder again on the TYPE of stress.)

So saying women’s education (and work) leads to a fall in birth rate is sort of a LaPlace truism: “The horse of Napoleon is white.”

Women’s education might by itself explain most of the fall in birth rates, but again, I think Mr. Goldman is stressing the point when he goes on about how this applies to Islam too.  I suspect the type of education these girls are getting, even in “modernized” countries is 9/10ths religious instruction which – by his reasoning – should make them more willing to have children.  And heaven knows in most Arab countries women are not participating in the labor force.

I think it is more likely that the cause is one that is concomitant but not operative with loss of faith and coincidental with women’s education: industrialization.

This is not because industrialization is, by itself, injurious to reproduction.  If you are a devotee of Gaia and believe that we are poisoning our reproductive ability with the noxious fumes of civilization, go in peace.  I won’t preach to you if you don’t preach to me.

It is rather because the industrial revolution, even at its beginning, cut down greatly on two things: the need/utility of children in the monetary survival of the household (I was going to say “labor” but in the context that might be misunderstood) and child mortality.

I think to get how incredibly rich, how incredibly healthy and well off we are, it takes coming, like me, from a country that – frankly – most of you would have considered a hell hole as to living conditions when I was a child.  Looking at pictures of my very middle class living conditions, I’m struck by the fact that only certain areas of Appalachia back in the sixties could match the poverty on display. Not  that we were – or certainly considered – ourselves poor.  We knew poor, and they were infinitely worse off.  We were, in face, as my grandmother would and did say “Well enough.”

But more than that, even the poor of my time didn’t match the conditions under which my mother – or my upper middle class father – had grown up.  The stories I heard, including of going gleaning after the fields were harvested, not on some lark but to keep body and soul together, and of picking up fallen bits of coal by the side of the railroad, were mind boggling.  Stories, too, of things like my grandmother sewing a satchel for dad’s book bag, because they couldn’t afford to buy him a book bag when he went to high school in the city (in his time, read “with all the rich boys” – which was true even in my brother’s day.  Most even in the middle class stopped school at fourth grace, because the family needed their income.)

In my day even the poorest could afford book bags – often plastic, but all the same.

And mom’s stories, since she was genuinely (through family mismanagement of her ancestors’ mostly ) poor in childhood and grew up in a bad area, are even more horrifying.  For instance, they used to make dolls, play with them for a year, then hold funerals for them, in the same way children in more fortunate circumstances had doll teas and doll weddings.  There are other stories, like of going to the wake of one of her little play friends, and being very upset because the flies would keep landing on the corpse.

This is something that literally breaks my mind.  Now, at fifty I have – that I know – lost two childhood play fellows (I must have lost more, but I live across the sea, and some of them married abroad, so it’s hard to be in touch.) One died of ovarian cancer in her twenties, and the other suffered a stroke while alone at home with her children and died before anyone discovered her, also in either her late twenties or very early thirties.  However, we all reached adulthood.

Of course, here I must beg a break to point out that the playfellows I knew – the ones I grew up with – were already maybe 1/3 of those born to my cohort in the village and surroundings.  The whateveritwas (Probably a particularly virulent chicken pox, though it might have been one of the last huzzahs of small pox escaped from a lab around that time.  The mortality rate was more small pox, and it spared the kids of school age and older who had been vaccinated) that swept through when I was three took the children of several people we later knew, and my own cousin of the same age.  But because I was so young, I remember being sick, and I remember being convinced my cousin had died because I’d refused to share my bread with her (no, I don’t think anyone ever told me this.  I think it’s what my mind attached to when being told of her death) but I have no memory of my cousin’s face, nor of our interaction.  So in my conscious life, children didn’t die.  (Though I have a memory of a funeral procession for an infant, at around that time, going up the village street, with the mourners all in white, and I remember my mom telling me that for a child’s funeral you dress in white, because heaven has gained an angel.)

I suspect for most of us, children don’t die.

But beyond that we are all so prosperous, so happy, so contented, that children seem a terrible disruption of a rationally ordered life.

And before you scream at me that people in Muslim countries whose population is already falling are certainly not happy or contented, do consider what their grandparents and great grandparents lived like. It’s not the absolute prosperity but how fast it increases that makes a difference.

For any human, just knowing that he/she is unlikely to starve to death is such a marked improvement from the past, that we might as well be called blessed.  But then consider that most of us will live longer, healthier lives than our ancestors.  Consider, too, that – rightly or wrongly – even Egyptians believe that they have the right to be kept by their nation from the worst extremities of want. (How that holds is something else again.)

Humans have lived through far worse set backs and much, much worse times.  Almost all the times and all the events, at any rate.  Portuguese didn’t stop having kids because of civil war, Napoleonic invasions, ditactorship or famine.  But they’re now stopping having children because they “have opportunities” and almost no one dies prematurely, and there is so much to do, to see, to learn and to explore.  (And let’s remember that reality TV is practically intellectual by comparison to the best entertainment our ancestors could command.  I mean, our ancestors in small villages across the world.  Don’t tempt me, I’ve been reading Jane Austen.)

We are, in many ways living in the isle of the blessed, where hardly anyone ever dies, there is no want (not of the sort our ancestors knew) and we stay forever young (no?  Go look at pictures of the early twentieth century.  Discount the fact that we are as a rule heavier, a consequence of our prosperity.)

In those circumstances, we are told, elves had almost no children.  So why would we be different?

Regardless of what statistics tell us and the intellectual conviction that we will, yes, one day die, it’s hard to internalize it.  Few of us lose anyone that matters until we’re far too old to have children.

And in the middle of our interests and pleasures, having children seems such an unwonted interruption – particularly for women.

This accords, btw, with the reproduction model for a scavenger species, which stops reproducing when things are TOO good.

Will the piper be paid?  Undoubtedly.  He usually presents his bill.  We don’t know what population crash will do to an industrial society, but I daresay we’ll find out – or our children will.

And then?  I don’t know.  I disagree with Goldman as to the cause (though to be fair, I haven’t finished reading his book, so I will blog on this later) and I disagree that this is “the end” of humanity as such (I tend to believe we’re like weeds and will come back even from greater extremity) but I don’t have a prescription for avoiding a crash before whatever correction comes.  (What price bio-womb.)

My guess is that our way of life will over the next couple of hundred years either suffer massive impoverishment with attendant increase in births, or that we’ll figure out some technological way around this mess.

Which in turn will bring about OTHER issues.

Pimping My Readers

From Gaming Geekster Wesley Morrison:

I Would Like My Bailout in Bacon – Satire, politics, geekery, dogs, and no DRM! 205 pages, available in Kindle and Paperback. $2.99 for Kindle and a currently strangely discounted $11.22 for paperback at Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CNFLP90/?tag=wwwviolentkicom


From Real Life Space Lawyer Laura Montgomery:

A novel of asteroids, crowds, lawyers and a starship. on Kindle, The Sky Suspended. 356 pages and DRM free.

It’s the twenty-second century. Decades in the past, the people of Earth faced extinction by asteroid. After barely escaping the cataclysm, humanity sent out a single starship in response. Now the ship’s return galvanizes the population of Earth. The starship has discovered a new world, Earth-like and beautiful, and a clamor rises to build more ships. But bureaucratic barriers and secrets from a time of crisis threaten the dreams of those who also want to travel to the stars. Two lawyers and a boy from Alaska uncover old rivalries and more when they seek answers to arcane questions others do not want answered.


From Entrepreneur and Right-wing libertarian Thomas Sewell:

Hitchhiking Killer For Hire – Dedicated to Louis L’Amour, this 50 page short story prequel to Sharper Security is available for Kindle and DRM free.

Human smuggling, government corruption, kidnappers and border truckers in the future southwest. If there was no time to summon the Feds, would you turn vigilante and fight corrupt cops? What if the CIA was after you at the same time?


From Christian conservative-libertarian hunter Archer Garrett:

Part 1 of my first book, the Western Front, is perma-free on Amazon. 79 pages for Kindle.

Economic collapse, border chaos, civil unrest, big bad gov’t and maybe a few more headlines that I snatched off Drudge last Tuesday.


From White-Haired Shooter and Sound Architect Ray A. Rayburn:

The Microphone Book: From Mono to Stereo to Surround – A Guide to Microphone Design and Application, 3rd edition, 480 pages, non-fiction available for Kindle and in Paperback.

Ray also contributed to the Handbook For Sound Engineers.

Eargle’s Microphone Book is the only guide you will ever need for the latest in microphone technology, application and technique. This new edition features more on microphone arrays and wireless microphones, new material on digital models; the latest developments in surround; expanded advice on studio set up, recording and mic selection.

Ray A. Rayburn provides detailed analysis of the different types of microphones available and addresses their application through practical examples of actual recording sessions and studio operations.

The book takes you into the studio or concert hall to see how performers are positioned and how the best microphone array is determined. Problem areas such as reflections, studio leakage and isolation are analyzed from practical viewpoints. Creative solutions to stereo sound staging, perspective, and balance are covered in detail. Eargle’s Microphone Book is an invaluable resource for learning the ‘why’ as well as the ‘how’ of choosing and placing a microphone for any situation.


From Semitic linguist and Theology School Academic R.P. Nettelhort:

Somewhere Obscurely, 476 pages, available for Kindle and in Paperback.

Murder. Kidnap. Slavery. Then the real trouble began.

Mohado — vulgar term applied to timeslipped workers. Living as virtual slaves, these desparate workers move back and forth through time at the whims of their employers. This is Aramond Smith O’Reilly’s life. Witness to his mother’s murder, kidnapped, and sold into a life of misery… He will never know where – or when – he will be. After escaping wretched conditions, Aramond purchases a timeship, only to become the very thing he used to dread and fear: a coyote-one of those who transports and delivers the workers to those who would exploit them.

From Cedar Sanderson, Lady in

red:

Memories of the Abyss

Violet is trapped in the prison of her own mind. Her body is dwelling in the insane asylum, but when her friend Walter is killed, she must make a decision to avenge his death, or stay safely locked in her own broken soul. He’d drawn her out of her shell, and she finds she still has honor left… But will anyone believe the crazy woman?

From Celia Hayes, who knows texas:

A collection of essays focusing on aspects of the American frontier, the pioneer experience, various interesting events and people, all edited from eleven years of blog posts by the author at various blogs.

Westering Wagons

The Heart of Texas

This is a collection of essays about Texas history and people, which originally were blog posts on various blogs. It can be read as a companion and extended footnote to my novels about Texas; The Adelsverein Trilogy, Daughter of Texas, Deep in the Heart, and the upcoming release, The Quivera Trail, which will be available in November, 2013.

From Karen Meyers a collection of shorts from The Hounds of Annwn:

Tales of Annwn

A Story Collection from The Hounds of Annwn

THE CALL: A very young Rhian discovers her beast-sense and rushes to the rescue of an errant hound.

UNDER THE BOUGH: Angharad hasn’t lived with anyone for hundreds of years, but now she is ready to tie the knot with George Talbot Traherne, the human who has entered the fae otherworld to serve as huntsman for the Wild Hunt. As soon as she can make up her mind, anyway.

NIGHT HUNT: George Talbot Traherne goes night hunting for fox in Virginia and thinks about the choices he has made.

CARIAD: Benitoe and Luhedoc are off to fetch horses for the Golden Cockerel Inn in Edgewood. Luhedoc needs to relearn an important lesson about confidence.

THE EMPTY HILLS: George Talbot Traherne shows a bit of the human world to family and friends, hoping to share some of the sense of wonder he discovered when he encountered the fae otherworld.

From ST Gafney:

China Harbor

Sheila Reilly, once a prominent research physicist aboard the Wells Explorer, now an American refugee living in China Harbor after the Millennium War destroyed America, has barely survived the last 5 years. Sheila’s very life may now depend on the secrets she keeps. Even from Yam, the man she loves and who has helped her eke out an existence for the last 2 years.

Discovery of the wreckage of the Wells Explorer sets in motion a chain of events wherein Sheila must come to terms with her past and is given an opportunity by the enigmatic ancient Lin Yi to change history, but perhaps at the price of losing everyone she now loves. Suddenly everyone in China Harbor is looking for her, from General Chen, the conflicted head of the often brutal People’s Guard and the villainous Colonel Kwan, who will stop at nothing to get the power he wants, to one mysterious stranger out of Sheila’s past, who started it all so very long ago. As Sheila races against time to save the past, no one in China Harbor who has touched her life is safe, from an innocent produce vendor to Yam’s young daughter who longs for Sheila to take the place of her dead mother.

Facets

Journey through the crystalline surfaces of short stories, that for the briefest of moments , reflect the light and shadows of what it means to be human. Just beyond the brightness of what we know, lurks the shadows of what we don’t yet know or understand. We pretend we stand on solid ground, turn on the lights, and perform rituals to ignore the horrors that surround us. When in truth, the greatest darkness lies within us all. But also, the greatest brightness. Like crystals we hold both. Turn us one way, and we know just how to kill. Turn us another way, and we know just how to love, a love that transcends both time and death.

What facet will speak to you? Rattle your brain, eat away at your heart? Haunt your dreams, disturb your peace? Make you smile, even laugh? Make you promise to live better? Comfort you just a little, teach you how to build a fire to burn away the night?

Come, take a break and read a story. Short stories for those short spaces of time when a novel is too much. Pull away the curtain, take a peek, and see what is reflected in the facets of your own mind.

From EliZABETH bRUNER:

Flash of Fire

A collection of super short stories (1000 words or less) on the subject of fire. Ranging from the love of a volcano goddess to natural phenomena encountered as humans explore a distant planet, these stories evoke a sense of wonder and awe at the nature and power of fire. Some titles have been previously published as part of a weekly flash fiction project but others are brand new and exclusive to this volume.
Titles include:
Molten Love
Spark
The Silver Fire
The Weeping Flame
Husband in the Flame
Troublemaker

From The redoubtable Mary Catelli, who has a story in this:

Warrior Wisewoman

Norilana Books presents the first volume of an exciting new annual anthology series of science fiction featuring powerful and remarkable women.

Explore the truth of what it means to be female, and discover the wisdom and the strength of a woman in a grand universe without limits. Far-ranging scientific speculation meets action and adventure, grand space opera, thrilling discovery, and intelligent protagonists…

From Cyn Bagley, who is that rare thing, a good poet:

Outside My Window

This chapbook contains twenty poems written in 2013 about a small apartment complex in Carson City, Nevada. The poems are an assortment of haikus, tanka, pantoum, and free verse.

From Lorraine J. Anderson, HalfWay between a fan and a pro:

The River Creek Chronicles:LaKeisha’s Transformation

LaKeisha Andrews thought she and her husband were moving into an ordinary, dull, tiny Michigan town. But, as she learned more, the weirder the town became. Little did she know that her move — and her baby — would prevent the upcoming apocalypse.

Excerpt:

“The town is doomed,” The Oracle intoned. He looked around. “Where’s Hiram?”

“Out of town,” Lazarus said. “Vacation. And you know he’s got that case coming up.”

“Oh,” the Oracle said. “I had forgotten. Anyway,” he continued in a melancholy tone, “the town is doomed.”

Joanne Long looked at the television, flickering in one corner, then went back to her knitting. She looked as neatly pressed as she usually did, not like she had just gotten out of bed. “I think that you’ve been watching too many scary movies, honey.” She settled back into her chair.

“No,” the Oracle said. “Infomercials. That’s when I get my best revelations.”

“And the revelation you got while watching a commercial about knives,” Daniel Summers said, rubbing his eyes, “was that the town is doomed.”

“The town is going to be destroyed in a ball of fire,” the Oracle said. “And a baby will be our salvation.”

from rawle nyanzi:

Alien Frontier

In a farming village on a faraway planet, 15-year-old Norma Teague hunts in the forest for food and helps her parents and brothers run the farm. When the Tanjio military shows up to conduct a draft, Norma considers herself lucky since they did not take girls.

Then she received a magical belt that gave her the power to defeat any armor made of matter.

Now she is a prime candidate for the draft — and her village would have it no other way. Can she defy the will of her fellow villagers and avoid getting sent away to die in a hail of bullets?

from the franchise:

Lingua Franchise — suggested tracks “American Cyborg”, “Storybook Romance”, and “Zombies”.

To the Rescue – suggested tracks “Superhero”, “Post-Apocalyptic Love Song”, “Geek Chic”

The Sound and the Furry– suggested tracks “Vorlon”, “Ender”, “Lojack”

From Blake Powers:

A Different View

A Different View 2

An exploration in image and word of day-to-day life of our troops, along with a reminder that beauty can be found in many places even in the most interesting of times.

This book covers my time with the 1st Battalion of the 4th Marines at Al Qa’im, Iraq at the Syrian border; and, a bit about Landstuhl Hospital in Germany — and something very special that takes place there above and beyond the excellent care given.

This is not a book about combat, rather it focuses on the everyday sights that reflect the majority of the time at war that is routine. It is an attempt to share that not seen on the news, and provide a glimpse into a world few have seen and of which even fewer understand.

My hope is that the reader will pause to think even as I try to make them laugh and cry.

NOTE FROM SARAH: Sorry to be doing this stumbling by stages, but I just got back and apparently over the weekend forgot how to post on WordPress.  Who knew?

UPDATE: I meant to thank Thomas Sewell for collating/doing bio for first six books.  (In case it’s not obvious from my doing this in dribs and drabs, often forgetting cover and originally forgetting to title the post, I’m not functioning.  Long car ride and a rainy day made me stupid.)  I love his style and tried to match — but in future y’all will have to give me a personal web page or SOMETHING to work with ;)

UPDATE — Welcome Instapundit readers and thank you Glenn Reynolds for the link!

Because I’m An Idiot

I meant to put up a Reader Promo post today, but I completely spaced it and didn’t bring the annotated list with me to the undisclosed location (where I still am, till early afternoon.)

So… if you guys put up the links in the comments I’ll do it when I get home.

Next — anyone have any suggestions for which of the Goldport Press stuff I should take free for the Human Wave Garage sale?  I was thinking of putting up Crawling Between Heaven And Earth and maybe Wings.

They Said It Would Never Last

Some of you know that my husband and I have two wedding anniversaries. This is not because we got divorced in between, but because we have a civil and a religious anniversary.

Being, for some unfathomable reason, somewhat disinclined to trust bureaucracies, we decided that we’d get married here and wait for my green card before we went over for the “real wedding.”  That I was — at the time — friends with the American consul to my city (A gentleman from Texas — if I remember correctly — who was a Reagan appointee) and he’d told me if we got married in Portugal and waited for my green card there it could take up to two years for a “bride visa” made it sure that we’d not go that channel.

We were twenty two, had been long distance dating for a year, and at that age the prospect of two more years of wait was daunting and a little impossible.

So I came over and we got married in the courthouse in Rock Hill South Carolina.  Because it wasn’t our “real wedding” I didn’t even buy a dress and was married in a white summer dress with crochet panels that I’d had since the age of fifteen.

I’m fairly sure the judge marrying us — a lady probably the age I’m now — thought it was the most ill advised ceremony she ever performed.  She gave us a long speech about how marriage wasn’t a joke, about how these things shouldn’t be undertaken lightly, about how we should think before we made a mistake.  At the time I would have been offended, except that in this the lady joined the opinion of all our friends and acquaintances, who were convinced we were marrying on a sort of a lark and would be divorced within the year.

Given that both Dan and I have on occasion (more or less constantly) been accused of thinking too much, at the time this general opinion seemed baffling.  Now–

Now the very fact that two people, generally cautious, had decided to get married not having seen each other for four years and never having dated before, looks like the sort of change that prophesies even crazier behavior.  Also, atop my ancient history (shuddup you!) bookcase, there’s a picture of us on our civil ceremony day.

We looked about seventeen.  And we looked so totally unafraid on such an occasion that no one could suspect us of knowing what we were doing.

And yet it lasted.  Why did it last?  Oh, by being as odd as its beginning.  We are, objectively, completely different people than when we got married.  The simple process of marrying outside one’s culture and changing states three times will do so. But we have made a concerted effort — sometimes in difficult circumstances, such as when Dan had a traveling job for two years — to grow together.

It helps that we genuinely enjoy each other’s company and can talk about practically everything…

So to celebrate the fact that this marriage has now lasted 28 years (about twenty seven and a half more than anyone expected) even though this is not our “real” anniversary, we ran away from the kids and are enjoying each other’s company (and doing some writing — yes, I know sick, but doing some uninterrupted writing IS a rare pleasure) at an undisclosed location (no, weirdly it is not the Natural History museum.  they have no rooms to rent, would you believe it?)  Later there will be a trip to the real life alternate of the George.

I will answer comments when I feel like turning on the kindle fire — and autocorrect might make my answers very funny.

Rogue Magic, Free Novel, Chapter 17

For previous chapters, click here

*This is the new free novel I’m posting here a chapter at a time.  This is pre-first-draft, as it comes out.  It is a sequel to Witchfinder which will soon be taken down (once edited) and put for sale on Amazon (And at this point I’m hoping that will happen by the beginning of July at the latest).  Meanwhile, if you donate $6 or more, I’ll get you a copy of Rogue Magic, once finished and edited, in your favored ebook format.  Of course, if you’re already subscribing to the blog at a level at which you get whichever books come out that year, you don’t need to worry. *

NOTICE: For those unsure about copyright law and because there was a particularly weird case, just because I’m making the pre-first draft of my novel available to blog readers, it doesn’t mean that this isn’t copyrighted to me.  Rogue Magic as all the contents of this blog is © Sarah A. Hoyt 2013.  Do not copy, alter, distribute or resell without permission.  Exceptions made for ATTRIBUTED quotes as critique or linking to this blog. Credit for the cover image is © Ateliersommerland | Dreamstime.com

roguemagiccover

Weaving

 

The Right Honorable Jonathan Blythe, The Earl of Savage,

 

I was not nearly drunk enough.  That was my first thought, followed quickly by the thought that perhaps I was too drunk.

What had possessed me to, once returned from fairy land, stop at the first tavern to drink?  And what had possessed me not to continue until I lost consciousness in a puddle of my own vomit and – with any luck – drowned.

What had I been thinking to agree to this mad plan?

Not much, of course.  That’s the thing of fairyland.  You don’t really think while you’re in it, particularly not with the King of Elves staring at you and telling you that you’re the only hope for both worlds maybe for all the worlds.

Just thinking about it made my hand itch for a bottle of gin and it was not even because I believed what he’d said.  I wasn’t sure I believed what he said.  I wasn’t sure he believed what he said.  “Curse all elves,’ I said in a low growl and for a moment it seemed to me that there was an elf, lying on the ground of the alley, near the wall ahead, staring at me.  Same slitty-green eyes.  Same suspicious expression.  But as I got near, the eyes jumped, and it hissed and ran.

Cats and elves all the same, I thought, and then apologized mentally to cats.  They were like elves very pretty and very self-serving, but at least they caught mice.  And then I mentally apologized to Gabriel Penn, which tells you how far gone I was, because I reasoned he was probably as decent a fellow as an elf could be, and it was no fault of his own that wasn’t far enough or much at all.

He’d outlined his plan for me.  First I needed to find this emissary from the mythworld.  As he’d explained it to me, to free the women my father had captured I must find the force that had been sent to our world to discover and free them.  And what could papa have done with women of great power and magical prowess?  I’d almost bet he’d not done it alone.  For that it would take fairy power and dragon power, and the late unlamented Lord Sydell.

These women, I told myself, bringing myself forcibly on track… or perhaps not women, but creatures, were kept somewhere, and their magic gave the myth world a chance to reach in and to corrupt all our magic and feed on it.  Papa must have used some containment system that broke when he died.  Or when Sydell died.

I hated this ridiculous idea that novels and even fairytales had that once you’d killed the villain all evil was arighted and there would never be anything to worry about again.  In my experience it was better to tolerate a middling evil than to destroy it.  It was in great part why I’d endured Papa’s low-level, disreputable self-serving lawlessness.  Because to stop it meant to step into his shoes.  Well, and I’d endure it because truth be told, I knew myself to be equally disreputable and lawless and only not so self serving because I never had much interest in either wealth nor power.  Had I been born with a craving for it, I’d doubtless have been poor Papa to the life.

But even when Papa had grown too dangerous to endure, his death had left me tangled in his webs and might have left the world at danger.  Though that part might have been Sydell’s fault.  The more I thought about that the more I was sure that were it not for Sydell papa would have neither the magical force nor the ambition to have contrived such a complex plan.  And that was if he knew about the mythworld, which I would doubt.  No, it would be Sydell, with his dragon-senses, who would know about that world and its maidens of power and contrive to use it.

I took a deep breath.  I didn’t know if it was the liquor making my mind race, or the gibbering fear of the task I’d been given.  And what kind of hero lets himself be given a task by the king of  elves?  I must be out of my mind.
But then again the king of elves, himself, had told me I was no hero, was I?  I was just Jonathan, the irregular, Jonathan who stood outside the norms.  In Eton and at Cambridge it had got me punished often enough – though doubtless nowhere as often as I deserved.

And now it had got me this – Gabriel Penn laying out his plan then extending both hands to me as to a dear friend or a family member – and saying “You will do it, will you not, Jon?  I can count on you, can I not?”

“But your Majesty,” I’d tried, my use of his title perhaps serving to put him on his guard.  “Your Majesty, surely you see that it’s not so easy or so clear?”

He’d laughed.  “Of course it’s not, Jon, or I’d have no need of you.”  His hands felt perfectly normal too, warm and human.  “Look, Jon, if it were something normal, something that people would understand, something that human senses could see was right and just, I’d ask my brother.  I wouldn’t send you behind his back.”

And I’d let myself be talked into it.  I’d let myself be sent back in the black carriage with the fairy horses, all the way to my world, where the coachman had stopped in an alley, and opened the door and bowed to me.

The fact that the coachman, like coachmen in all dread legends ever, seemed to be just a scrap of denser shadow in the night, had not made me feel any more reassured by this.  And the fact that he had bowed to me and said, “Good luck milord,” in a voice that seemed composed of gravel dragging on a river bottom also didn’t reassure me.

Nor did the fact it was night.  I had been supposed to meet with Seraphim at noon, blast it all, and I imagined from the darkness in this alley that I’d come back in the darkest of the night.

Or not.  After all the lantern was still lit over the nearest tavern, and a quick survey within showed me that it was the normal after-dinner rush of locals.  Of course, having gone in to make a survey, I’d consumed my share of blue ruin, to the extent of coin found in my pockets.  I resolved then and there that I would in future do my level best to make sure that I had enough money to drink enough to ensure never wakening, no matter what I meant to do, or who was likely to arrest me, or mock arrest me at my own house.

As it was, I’d drunk just enough to be befuddled, and not nearly enough not to know it.

I pulled from my pocket the stone Gabriel Penn had given me.  Green, it glowed like that cat’s eyes, and he said “It will know where the person you seek is.  Once you find where she’s held, all you have to do is get near her, and this stone will help you find the means to get inside and free her.”

“It is then,” I asked.  “Some king of lock pick?”

Gabriel looked confused.  “No.  Our devices are not that simple.  You’ll know when you have need of it what you can do.”

Which reassured me about as much as the surgeon telling you that once he applied a magical salve your privates would not wither and fall off, or at least he was almost sure of it.  That was a damned Frenchman, off the coast, after this time when Ferdie and I had gone to visit this place that claimed to have real mermaids.

I remembered the problem, which seemed to be magical, and I remembered feeling I could not be in worst straits ever.  But now I wish I was back there, even with the open sores.

On the other hand the salve had worked, despite the surgeon’s dubious comments on it, and perhaps this would too.

My panicked back brain informed me that this was unlikely, and at least the surgeon had not been an elf, but I decided that it was just being difficult.

Then I took a deep breath, pulled the stone out again, and, closing my fingers around it, felt it tremble in my hand.  It is hard to explain, but it felt like being pulled by an eater child towards an object.  I walked where it was pulling.

Did this do anything at all?  Anything that would allow me to free this would-be rescuer of warrior maidens.  “She’s half of one, herself,” Penn had said.  “In fact I think her mother is one of captives.  My brother thinks containing her will contain the magical rot but it is no such thing.  But you know Seraphim.  You’ll never be able to explain to him.  You’ll just have to free her, and then contrive to show him he was wrong.”

Which pitted me, Jonathan Blythe, the despair of his masters and the shame of his house, against Seraphim Ainsling, Duke of Darkwater, one of the premier gentleman magicians of the world, married to the princess royale, and to make things worse, the king’s own witchfinder.

This was not going to end well.

Gray Space

Okay, I confess.  I have a weird side.  It is not so much a side, honestly, as a whole hemisphere.  There are entire continents of weirdness – vast high plains of Oddness, rivers of strangeness, unexplored jungles of bizarreness.

What I mean is, take whatever it is people do of a Saturday night to kind of have fun, and I (and my family) are likely to do something odder.  About the most normal thing we do is get together with friends, but often the talk/meal/whatever with friends is … different.  People who tolerate us, much less like us, tend to be slightly askew, too.

Which brings us to – what brought this on, Sarah?  How strange do you think you are?

Well…

I realized how strange I am when I realized I have a great and odd love of the odd.  As in, if I start browsing on the net, instead of spending my time reading up on some Hollywood cutie’s life (I’m not even likely to know who most of them are) I end up browsing you tube for “squirrel brought up by cat.”  Or “videos of bathing baby elephant.”

It gets worse.  Brace yourself my friends, because the strangeness gets … stranger.

I have an absolutely irresistible interest in the … uh… tinfoil brigade.  I don’t mean in the political sense.  Most of those end up being somewhat pathetic, the excuses of people for why they didn’t, why it couldn’t happen, why—

Even if recent scandals have led me to believe there’s more of conspiracy to history than I’d have credited before, political conspiracy theories are still boring.  They can sound “real” or just “OMG, where did you get that?” but they aren’t FUN.  (Politics are no fun at all.  They’re responsible for the wrinkles on my forehead.  I read the news, and next thing I know I have wrinkles.)

No, the fun stuff comes from overarching theories of how the world really works, you know, behind the veils.

I still remember the time I was trying to find out about continental formations before pangea – I was, I think, researching for time-travel – and found myself reading about the spaceship full of grays orbiting the world.

I should have got out of there in a hurry, but I didn’t.  The only way to find that kind of crazy when I was growing up was to listen to the village drunk who, usually after he was prone by the field on the way to the new village, would give long speeches and disquisitions on what held the universe together.  (In the notable one I remember?  Red Wine.  … yes…)

But now we can stumble on these all dressed up in Sunday go to meeting words, and looking properly respectable, and we don’t have to cringe or think the people will attack us.  Which makes crazy all the more interesting and amusing.

I also haunt cryptozoology sites.

But why Sarah, you say?  Is it a wish to mock and make fun of the poor lunatics?

Well… no.

I’ve always been fascinated by the edge of belief and non belief, the place where crazy turns to genius and vice versa.  It’s possible that, unlike what Pratchett said, there never really was a time where it was universally believed a good stink was the only defense against disease.  And we do know that Columbus didn’t prove that the world was round (rolls eyes) but there have been several counterfactual and unproven ideas throughout history.

More than that, there’s been an inability to know what we don’t know.  If we tried to describe our present living conditions to someone in Shakespeare’s day, it would make us feel as though we are post singularity.  Can you explain the screen as anything other than “magic.”

And there is to things like Egyptian funerary practices, or some strange wordage in archaic language, to the drawings in Mexican temples, to … there are the things that make you think “we were there before.  This civilization thing isn’t new.  It’s probably cyclical.  We build civilizations as beavers build dams, and then we lose them through a well established cycle.”

In those circumstances, it’s impossible to read about things like the three Neanderthals, likely the last in Europe, found in a cave, facing the ocean, as though waiting for rescue.  You can’t help thinking “They hadn’t reproduced, but surely there must be some of their kind elsewhere, right?  And they’d come…”

Now, is this likely.  No.  I mean, I do believe there is strangeness and wonder in our origins, but despite all the linguistic markers pointing to it, it’s unlikely we had a highly advanced technological civilization before.

But dreaming of it and interpreting markers is so much fun.  It’s, in a way, part of the writing process, because then you emerge and you think “but in this world, this could totally be true” or “They would think this wasn’t true, even though it was” or…

And it has led to some fun books in the past.  There was Clifford Simak’s Space Engineers.  And I wanna say Keith Laumer’s in which the main character was R’thur (I think) clearly supposed to have inspired Arthur, and the Earth a penal colony for the insane.  It was a bit human-put-downish, but still fun.

Then there was in Ric Locke’s Temporary Duty the clear implication we’d come from the stars.  I like that.  Yes, most of us know it’s not true (or not likely to be) but it’s so much fun to dream.

Of course, through all this, you have to make sure you know what reality is.  But if you do, there’s no harm in enjoying other’s strange theories.  So long as I don’t start looking up at a full moon for the spaceship orbiting the Earth – or looking suspiciously at Denver ponds, less the lizard man should come out.

On the other hand, while re-reading Methuselah’s Children, I was struck by the discarded plan of sending the Howards up into one of the solar system planets and then closing them off, never traveling to them again.  So as to keep the humans from knowing the much longer lived Howards were still alive and thriving up there.

Supposing, just supposing that colonization really went as we expected, but it was secret.  And some group was given residence in moon tunnel colonies – or in a Mars that’s much better than we thought (hence the robot probes only, they can be directed to barren wastelands) or…

What kind of group would be so dangerous, so full of forbidden knowledge that our own government would so far as to give up on Space and to make NASA an agency to appease Muslims?  Could any group be that dangerous?  What would they be?

And if not, why did we give up on Space?

Um…  It was probably the Grays.