99 thoughts on “Get The Saturday Memes While it’s Saturday”

  1. A very good batch – thank you!

    Now, preparing wind sock and flight paddles for expected flyby….

  2. Satan: Why am I getting all these stupid people in Hell?

    God: Do you really want me to answer that question?

    2. The Animaniacs are not involved in the current strike – they all have their contracts

      1. Dot: “But you said that actors shouldn’t improvise or rewrite their scenes. And that YouTubers are stupid and can’t be in your union.”

        (Bats eyes sweetly)

        “So stupid lil’ ole me, and my friend Wednesday, are going to let you dig yourselves out. Bye!”

  5. There is not a thing in the world that can withstand a sailor, drunken or not.

    I also enjoy the “Just because you can climb it doesn’t mean it’s a ladder.” signage too. Where I work all the signs are “always hold the railing when using stairs” or “watch where your walking, not the phone.” But again, that place is filled will older, ricketier farts who wouldn’t even consider standing on the cabinet doors to reach the top shelf!

    On an aside, most heroes are of the sort of level of fitness are, and it can make for hilarious and totally in character downtime scenes.

  6. A Navy Petty Officer will not be defeated. Scratched, bitten, and bruised, but not defeated. And when in dire peril will return to said PO’s natural element, the water.

    1. Valid.

      The only thing more dangerous than a drunken Petty Officer on liberty with money in his pocket, is an Ensign with an idea. Both have caused the destruction of nations.

  7. Pardon? I think we’re well beyond pardons here. Lamp posts and trees and ropes, some assembly required.

  8. Aliens: “Pardon?”

    LOL’ed All of the ones posted are good, but the last got the giggles going.

    2. Agreed.

      With respect to the “controlled burn” wildfire, who do these people think they are? BLM has much more experience at out-of-control burns and would be thrilled to show you how it’s done. (A bunch of us would love to see BLM become some other country’s problem…)

      No, I won’t forget the Forest Disservice and their skills, too. I have to think up an appropriately insulting backronym for the NIMO clowns. (Motto: We’ll watch your house in a wildfire. When it’s ashes, we’ll let you know.)

      1. the Forest Disservice and their skills, too. I have to think up an appropriately insulting backronym for the NIMO clowns. (Motto: We’ll watch your house in a wildfire. When it’s ashes, we’ll let you know.)
        …………….

        Is the USFS still in the fire suppression business at any level? Or is it all oversight and contract crews? (Beyond “wait & see”.)

        1. I think you can get them to come in and remove a bunch of dead trees from your property.

        2. It seems to vary. The Forest Service Type 6 rigs (heavy pickup, 200 gallons of water, 1-2 crew) have disappeared from the Fremont-Winema forest, but ODF has been doing suppression with Type 6s for a long time (they were co-operating in the mid Aughts; not quite sure when full handover happened). Our rural FD got a surplus Type 6 in 2007, so that’s a good guess.

          I’ve seen some bigger FS engines from elsewhere (multi-hundred gallon tanks, lots of hose, not sure of crew size), and the FW-NF people run the air tanker base in town. That might be admin and logistics only. Supression aviation is mostly contracted; ODF will get a couple of recon helicopters for fire season, and somebody (BLM?) has choppers big enough for Bambi buckets. When it gets sporty, it’s contracted. I’ve seen C-130s when they were still flying, the odd P3 Orion, and somebody had a medium sized jet for the Bootleg fire.

          FWIW, Klamath National Forest in California seems to have the heavy equipment; considering the terrain along the Klamath River, they need all the assets they can muster. They’ll come up for supplies from time to time.

          We have a lot of contract companies running out of the area; some stay local, others go elsewhere. There was a period when California was screwing over contractors; the classic was “We asked you to send two dozers. We’ll pay for one. Too bad you both came.” That’s from the Aughts. No idea what it’s like now, but ugly is a safe bet.

          1. Eugene has at least one company that supplies contract wildland firefighters. We did not encourage our looking-for-work-out-of-college son to apply (didn’t discourage, just didn’t point out the company was hiring). Both of us have been on wildland fires. Me only smaller district fires < 2 or 3 acres, lighting strikes, etc. Dad has been on the big incident fires. It has been 45 years since either of us have done this.

            1. I worked the rural Fire Brigade for a couple of years, and the biggest was a 12 acre fire. Lots of small ones caused by lightning or idiots. Had to go on hiatus due to blood pressure issues, then got in the middle of a political mess that cost the old chief his job, then forcing the rest of us to quit. Our brigade collapsed, with the district getting the equipment but no tax base until things calmed down after 10 years or so. Keeping a low profile on those issues seemed to be a wise decision, knowing the likely results of the alternative. ‘Tis better now.

              Had front row seats to two big fires; one 2000 acres about 4 miles north of us (moving SE, never endangering us) caused by a couple of idiots with fireworks (who seemed to have disappeared after the fire) and the 400,000 acre Bootleg, starting 8-10 miles north. That one did a lot of damage east of us. That one was lightning, though that needed a lengthy smolder in duff. Possible, I ran into one like it when I was on the force. I was very happy not be be working either.

        3. Anyone else think the alien one should have added:

          People of Earth: “Do you need maps?”

              1. Why not both? ListS (you all have yours, I have mine, a lot of overlap, but JIC) and maps.

          2. The ancient creature that calls itself our leader is on vacation on the coast. It possesses the decrepit mortal shell of a man called Lesko Brandon and will fire a shotgun blast through the door when you approach.

  10. “I finally tried to join Procrastinators Anonymous, but I’m still waiting for the membership forms and the meetings keep getting postponed.” 😀

    1. “Time travelers meet yesterdays”
      “Psychic Convention: guess time to attend”
      “What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant!”
      “My anti-social network is a huge success: nobody showed up”
      “I’m bad at delegating, so I got someone else to do it”
      “I wanna objectify you, would you like that?”

      3. Yesterday at the grocery store I had to ask: “Where did you hide the potato chip flavored potato chips?”

        They couldn’t find them either… 😦

        1. Have you ever asked the cashier if they take Federal Reserve Notes? 😈

          Note, US Cash is Federal Reserve Notes. 😉

          1. No, I mean I was actually looking for regular potato chips. All they had were a dozen weird non-potato flavors. Talk about the decline of civilization…

          2. “Everything alright?
            “No, I have a complaint about the tomato paste.”
            “And that is…?”
            “It doesn’t hold a tomatos back together worth a damn!”

            1. “Do you have a lost and found?”

              “What is missing?”

              “My marbles.”

              (Sigh)

        2. That seems to happen every few years; I’ve noticed it several times. It doesn’t matter what brand name is on the package, the only selections are “sour cream”, “cool ranch”, or “onion.” Same thing for salad dressing, which all went to “cheesy!” or “creamy”, and cookies, which all went “soft” or “chewy” for a while.

    2. When I was at Flat State U., someone put up an official looking sign beside one of the meeting rooms in the Student Union. The sign stated, “The Procrastinators Anonymous Meeting scheduled for 7:00 PM has been postponed.” It stayed up for almost a week before someone realized it was a joke.

      2. Once upon a time I arrived at a classroom waaaaay early.
        So I FILLED the board with the repeated line:

        I will not emulate Bart Simpson.

        It was quite disappointing that if anyone got the joke, they said nothing.

      1. “Probably… the toughest time… in anyone’s life. Is when you have to murder a loved one… because they’re the Devil. Other than that, though… it’s been a good day.”

            1. My favorite is the Baptist suicide prevention one.
              A couple of good friends from college took to calling themselves Figments of my imagination. They didn’t get me a job at the NSA though, so we think I’m not crazy.

                1. “The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our life-time” – 1914

                  “The electric lights are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them switched back on again in our life-time” – 2023

      4. “So I was cleaning the baby’s diaper out in the toilet. Ew. You ever clean a baby’s diaper in the toilet…? I accidentally let go of his foot! And he’s spinning around, crying… and I’m trying to get him out with a plunger — you can’t use Drano, that hurts a kid!”

  14. The California banning straws is a good one.
    I also like the “Already Disturbed” one. No fair about his evil grin, though. Mine isn’t nearly that good. Although I’ve been told I have the cackle that goes with it right.

          2. Dafoe I might grant, haven’t seen enough of Cagney’s gangster movies (or honestly, anyone else’s gangster movies) to have an opinion there.

            1. Steven Spielberg tells a story about Stanley Kubrick that goes roughly as follows:

              Kubrick showed him The Shining before it was released, and after it was over asked him how he liked it. Spielberg tried to put up a good front, but Kubrick saw through it and finally got from him that he was a little underwhelmed. (His opinion of it improved with time, as has most people’s.)

              They talked it out, seeing if they could get at why he didn’t love it as much as he wanted to, and Spielberg finally settled on Jack Nicholson’s performance, he thought it was over the top. Kubrick then asked him to name his top favorite actors of all time, without thinking about it. Spielberg came up with Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda, James Stewart, Cary Grant, Clark Gable. Kubrick interrupted him and said “Where is James Cagney on the list?” Spielberg said that he liked Cagney, and Kubrick said “You don’t consider Cagney one of the five best actors around. I do. That is why Jack Nicholson’s performance is a great one.”

              As to Cagney’s gangster movies where he does “crazy”, the two that come immediately to mind are Angels With Dirty Faces, and White Heat.

                1. Didn’t miss, Mitchum was a great actor. The specific thing being discussed is “evil smile”, and I don’t even recall him smiling in that one. Grinning, in that and in Night of the Hunter, sure. But his menace was his presence, and his eyes.

                    1. I like Orson Welles’s assessment (paraphrasing from memory): He never had a “realistic” moment on screen, and yet his performances, all of them, are great because he also never had a false moment on screen.

                      I believe that Welles also said that the existence of Cagney disproved the idea that “hamming” is overacting, because Cagney always went to the limit. Hamming, in Welles’s view, is acting falsely.

              3. I was entirely underwhelmed by “The Shining”, which I found intensely boring, with a bad case of the slows. Cutting it down to a half-hour “Night Gallery” episode would have improved it, but probably not enough to sit through twice.

                The book wasn’t any better.

                1. The pacing is vital to the atmosphere of the film. What makes the film great (and it is) is that Stanley Kubrick studied past horror films, worked out what all their narrative tools were, denied himself virtually all of them, and invented entirely new (and wickedly effective) ones to replace them.

                  So, for example, the Overlook is blatantly overlit, so there are no moody shadows for spring-loaded cats to jump out of.

                  Or, for another example, and one that people missed for decades, the Overlook’s geometry makes zero logical sense. There are hallways that go nowhere, with people walking out of them. The office where Jack interviews and gets the job in the beginning is in the center of the building, with no outside-facing walls, yet has a window to the outside in it. (And there’s a lot more than just those examples.)

                  I was 12 or 13 when I first saw it, it came on cable in the middle of the night, and it had me crawling up the walls before it was half over.

                  Does it work for everybody? Probably not. Is it a brilliant piece of filmmaking? Absolutely.

    1. After seeing the VAERS reports, I think that headline is far too benevolent. Late BIL unavailable for comment.

    1. That’s insulting … to Gollum.

      Gollum was smarter and more cunning than Biden* could ever be. 😈

      1. But they look so much alike. Both shows what evil does to your mind and soul after time. Gollum hid in a cave
        Joe hides in his basement.
        Gollum had all his line scripted by a writer
        Joe has all his lines scripted by a writer
        Gollum created by evil and corruption
        Joe created by evil and corruption.

        If trump was smart he’d pay people to put that poster up.

    2. It gives the Ice creams precious yesss yesss we wantsss it. Nasty Trumps we hates it!!!

  18. Re: rooves.

    It implies that ghosts are kind of bouncy.

    Honestly I would have expected them to hit the roof and slide down like rain does.

    1. Sort of; it’s a Japanese sub-group thing, as is the “making weird faces” thing, it’s supposed to look like she’s, um, in the throws of passion. But cutsie!

      1. Aha! Kind of like why in western culture the application of lipstick and blush is sexy along with a somewhat affected breathless way of speaking. Different cultures look for different signposts but what males are looking for (at least young ones 🙂 ) is nearly universal.

      2. Use ‘throes’ for in the middle of something: “Throws of passion” makes me think pillow or rug with hearts on.

        Or, “Throws of passion” could be a good title for a judo-themed romance.

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