You’ve heard the joke, right? What’s the difference between a conspiracy theory and reality?
About two weeks.
I think that’s a gross exaggeration. From where I’m sitting it’s more like two months.
This is probably where I admit that when people on mewe started talking about how the vaccines were damaging heart muscle, or causing heart attacks, or whatever, I thought it was of a piece with the chick who was so convinced they were putting a neurotransmitter in it that she was trying to glue magnets to herself.
Y’know? I grew up with books about the UFO conspiracy, the JFK conspiracy, the older civilizations conspiracy, and in fact I love them with an unholy and shameful love. Just like my friend who loves pyramids of skulls (don’t ask) even though he’s not remotely a cruel person or blood thirsty, I’m the rational person who gets all excited at a good “it came from Atlantis” book or “the aliens did it” book. The following words have been uttered to my husband who was trying to discuss household matters, while I was immersed in one of those books “Shhh. Give me half an hour. I just got to the good part. They just linked Gobleki Tepe to the age of Aquarius!” (And the face you’re making right now is probably the face he made, followed by a bemused headshake.)
What this means, though is that I’m a connoisseur of the finest conpiratorium in the world. Collectors can come to me and uncork the vintage, and I go “Ah, this is JFK was killed by aliens, 1975, French. A fine vintage.”
Back when we were looking for a place in Colorado from South Carolina we talked to a real estate agent who told us she rated people on the flaky scale, to figure out where they belonged. (Yes, Boulder was peak flakiness.) The fact she told us this while saying we were “Normal with overtones of flaky, so probably downtown area in the Springs.” tells you what amused me so much.
In the same way I rate conspiracy theories from the plausible to the pyramidal (And not of skulls.)
I never fell for the Q “trust the plan” bs, not because I’m very intelligent or aware (IQ is not dispositive in this. Smart people believe the stupidest things. And as for aware, I was having serious altitude-related sleep and oxygen issues) but because I recognized the tone and the deepening of weirdness. From the qui bono angle the result of all that was keeping the population quiescent while a color revolution took place. Which leads me to believe false flag organized psi ops, but it’s also perfectly possible that it was just wishful thinking and conspiratorium of people self-reassuring as what should have been impossible events took place before their very eyes. (I wonder what unrecorded conspiracy theories circulated in Germany as it sank into madness.)
So, in the same spirit, and because I know the people posting them, I didn’t pay much attention to all the people saying that the vaccines caused heart issues, or menstrual cycle issues, miscarriages or still births, or permanent sterility.
Serious side effects were possible, of course, from an insufficiently tested vaccine. I also happened to know the history of MRNA vaccines — which is weird as even doctors and people with scientific training seemed to be afflicted by sudden amnesia about those. The one for SARS1 had such horrific results that China — CHINA! — stopped administering it pretty quickly.
And I had no intention of taking it, both because I actually really do in fact have religious objections to how they were created, and because the almighty government wanted it in my veins so badly. And I’m part mule. You push too hard, I stick all four hooves in the dirt and go ‘nope.’ Add to that that I’m not particularly stupid. I can read print, if it’s in letters of fire, six feet tall Having looked at the numbers from the Diamond Princess, I knew that doing an MRNA vaccine for what was a “Particularly bad flu” was the equivalent of taking a chainsaw to your own neck to cure a headache. So no. My offer remains. I will take the vaccine when they let me inject salad dressing into the veins of the Biden Junta. (And they might have the better part of that deal.)
But in the back of my head was that eventually, maybe, after it became endemic, and after we knew the side effects better, in a few years, I’d consider taking it (except for that religious objection thing, so I hoped they’d develop a different one.)
However I looked at the claims and snorted softly to myself, because how could a vaccine cause that range of side effects? It wasn’t even plausible. And heart and reproductive system? Sure. Those are the things people fear most, so it made psychological sense, not rational sense.
And then the CDC admitted it caused heart issues. And now they’re admitting it disturbs women’s cycles.
They still say the still births and the miscarriages are the result of “catching covid” but since the spike protein is what the vaccine mimics I don’t understand how that would be different. And anyone in livestock knows you don’t vaccinate pregnant females.
To quote a commenter yesterday “I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if the vaccine was meant to sterilize people, I just hope they’re really incompetent.”
I also hope anyone reading this is saner than to give it to their kids or really anyone of reproductive age till we know the full story. Because, you know, the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth is apparently two weeks.
All I can say is that this is disturbing me to a level I — as a connoisseur of Conpiratorium — can’t even begin to explain.
It’s difficult living in a timeline that appears to be scripted by drunk comic book writers, mainlining LSD.
From now on, I’m going to assume I know nothing about how reality actually works, and that JFK probably and for real was killed by dinosaurs circling the world in a spaceship.
Hold on to the sides of the boat, while the water gets choppy and Atlantis rises from the depths.
I’ll be in my bunker finishing a novel that involves Gobleki Tepe. (For real.)
Whatever you do, remember in the end we win they lose.
And be not afraid.