Baby, I like your style — or towards a theory of writing

Unless life, death or the end of the world as we know it — and then only if I don’t feel fine! — intervenes, the next few weeks, months and possibly — intermittently — years will see me posting semi-coherently on my theory of writing and style.

Good writing is a lot like art. I know it when I see it and it’s highly personal. I’m sure it’s the same for most of us, except those people who take their directive from a higher source in the form of received wisdom. For those this whole thing is much easier — good writing is whatever the authority says.

I wish I could — in good conscience — bow down to the Nobel committee, the Nebula voters, the critics, the “people who know better” TM. But the fact is, ultimately, either as a writer or as a reader, I don’t like to be told what to think, and — to my clear and informed mind — with a few exceptions, most of the decisions of any award committee — yes, that does include the Oscars — seems like the entire group went into a room and smoked a truly gigantic bong possibly while sniffing glue. There are exceptions — there are always exceptions — but even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

And as for going with “what sells” these days so many things influence the market, from distribution to hype, that I have trouble finding any solid thread of “good” in what tops the blockbuster lists. And these days when books are almost universally — Baen excepted — taken out of print in a year, there’s very little room for sleeping hits. You either get the push to be everywhere at once or… you don’t. This means bestsellers tend to be books that someone in NYC — and for mega bestsellers someone very big in NYC — put muscle behind. All that is required past a certain level of push is that they be halfway decent. In fact most of them do not command my attention for more than ten minutes. Possibly this is because I am an unabashed reader of genre literature.

Why should I even care what’s good or how to evaluate style? Good question. (The bright boy on row five gets a star!)

As a reader, the blunt answer is that I don’t. Why should I? Refer to the top for the fact that “I know what I like.” Meaning I buy what I like, I read it. If it’s really, really satisfying, I re-read it. And I move on to the next book, sometimes coming back to re-read things I enjoyed. Simple. No theory involved.

The problem comes in as a writer. I don’t know if I’ll ever be a bestseller. Heck, I don’t know if I’ll ever have an audience that I can’t count by removing my shoes. Don’t care. I do care about being GOOD.

Look, this writing thing is a compulsion. There is no sane reason why anyone should do this, and, despite occasional vehement denials to the contrary, I am sane. Pragmatic, even.

So why am I getting up early and going to bed late and spending my weekends researching the lives of long-dead people, or reading yet another depressing tome on how societies come unglued? I mean, I could be out, refinishing some furniture, going for walks with the boys and generally terrorizing the known world or at least the neighborhood.

I’ve now tried to give up writing DOZENS of times. About half of them before I was ever published. The rest… well… about twice a year. I confess that for health reasons, one of the more serious considerations I gave it was last year, while my hormones were acting up. But I was considering giving up on everything else, at that point, breathing included. Everything was too much effort.

Allergy meds will also stop me from writing. In fact, one four-hour dosage will damper the need for three or four days. And yes, I have considered becoming addicted to benedryl. But overall, it doesn’t seem to answer.

So, I’m writing. I’m writing blindly and without any expectations of ever reaching a significant enough audience for my writing to make any difference. I’m writing as an act of faith that yes, there is something beyond us, some grand plan, if you wish, or at least some loosely scripted outline, and that my writing fits in there somewhere. Perhaps a fragment of it will fall in the hands of someone at some point and that will trigger something. (How specific is that, uh?)

But for me, for my own peace of mind, if I’m going to spend this much time doing something and devoting myself to a craft, then by BOG I’m going to make it good. Which brings me to what is good.

This is where I should explain that, like most writers I know, I’m a serial and compulsive user of “how to” books. It did not help with my habit that the single most influential and important book of my career — Dwight Swain’s Writing To Sell — came my way at a library sale in a box of discarded books that I bought for $5.

I buy “how to write books” on the recommendation of friends; because I find them used atop a neat table at the local thrift store; at library sales; on the recommendation of total strangers at Amazon. Remember that scene in trainspotting where the guy said something about diving into a toilet in search of drug? Well… I wouldn’t go that far. But I would probably pick up the torn, walked-upon pages of a writing book off the sidewalk, in the hope that here — here at last — there would be something to make it all clear to me. SOMETHING that would tell me “GOOD” and “BAD” and separate the two widely. Something I could memorize or practice and learn, so I would never write anything bad again and all my stuff would be gold.

Yes, yes, the sane part of me is aware this is illusory. The sane part of me, that has favorite writers, knows very well that I wouldn’t cross the street to read some of Heinlein’s books, while I would walk across a knife-covered room for others. And Heinlein is, admittedly, my favorite author. The same could be said for all my favorites. Pratchett, Heyer, Christie — EVERYONE of them. Some books are gold and some are “uh. What was he/she thinking?” So it is inevitable that some — or most of mine — will be that way to my fifteen or sixteen devoted readers.

However, hope springs eternal (which is why most of human intellectual achievement is devoted to cutting it down like kudzu) so I keep searching. And sometimes, sometimes, I even convince myself I’ve found something. Rarely but it happens. Sometimes I can almost believe if I stand on my left foot and utter three times before writing “No bad description shall pass these fingers” the result will be pure, refined gold. And sometimes I believe if I go through my manuscript and strike out every use of the word “pool” the book will be wonderful.

Again, these moments of unalloyed credulity are rare in me. But in the middle of the night, alone in your head with the books to be written… well, to quote Leonard Cohen (Another of my bad habits) “It’s lonely here, there’s no one left to torture.” So my mind turns on itself and searches for something to anchor to.

My last foray into attempting to do something about my writing is what brought me to this post and to the ones that will inevitably follow. It was actually several months ago. For reasons that were — after all — apparently physical, I found myself writing in a totally “joyless” way. I could write, and I knew what to do. I even knew what my characters were going through. And I sort of “liked” them. But it was like perceiving it all through a veil and none of it brought me any joy. For all the enjoyment I derived out of it, I might as well have been driving a truck.

Now, of course, sane people would have said “You’re just tired.” And that was part of the issue, though the tiredness had its roots in illness. But when writing is a compulsion, you can’t just walk away whistling and have a grand time. I take my alphasmart or at least a notepad — if I’m really forcing myself to relax — on any vacation of more than two days. And it’s fairly sure that I’ll wake up on the second or third morning, notepad in hand, scribbling an outline or the opening lines to a short story.

Right now, in addition to the books under contract — and two woefully late — I have notes for four that are still in the conception stage and about three more that are in that nebulous stage at the back of my mind, where I know they are waiting, but they haven’t yet given me more than a concept or a one-line pull. And an endless collection of bits that came to me on vacation.

So, “just tired” didn’t cut it. It was clear to me I was going to write for the rest of my life and, not knowing I needed meds, I wanted to figure out how to make it fun again. So I bought several books. One of those I bought was “From Where You Dream” — because I felt that’s what I needed. To make my writing more spontaneous again. To pull, literally, from my deep-dreams.

But the book, despite its lovely title, proved less than useful to my situation, at least. He’s all over “immediate writing” which anyone who has asked me for writing help knows I am as well. Immediate writing means removing as much of your “after thoughts” from it. As Pratchett would put it “The first sight and the second thoughts.” He stigmatized as wrong and bad every time you gave anything a character thought — rather than just what they felt or saw. At least he did by the middle of the book, which is when I gave up on reading it.

Now, this “human as a camera and collection of stimulus-reaction” might fit a behaviorist view of the world, but I was never a behaviorist. (“Every time a dog salivates, a Pavlovian rings a bell” — RAH) And this method of writing things concentrating mostly on direct sensations/events is DOUBTLESS the easiest way to draw a reader in and keep him focused.

But the key there is “mostly.” And how much “mostly” is depends on what you’re writing. I argued the other day with a friend who complained about David Weber’s long “infodumps” by pointing out that given the complexity of what Weber writes, and the history/sociology/science that he must bury in each book, the infodumps are, paradoxically, the least painful way of doing it. In fact, I can’t imagine anyone writing sf or other-world fantasy without resorting to some interior thoughts, some infodump, some tuck and pin to give the impression of the much larger canvas. (This is NOT a defense for belly-button gazing books! Things still must happen. And your character must be minimally competent in dealing with them, not just crying over them. One thing is being the underdog, the other the annoying b– well, you get it.)

Still, being a writer and therefore having the self-confidence of an overboiled noodle, at the point when it starts falling apart, I worried about this. And I worried about this for days. I worried that my books were what this man said every book by someone who reported “thoughts” and not primary impressions was: Very bad.

I knew he was wrong — intellectually — and I knew that a certain amount of thoughts and other facts needed to come in beyond stimulus-response. Unless all I wanted to write was about our very mundane, everyday life. For THAT this writing style is perfect. (And if you like reading that, what are you doing, reading my blog?)

But it wasn’t until today, while I was turning it over in my mind that I realized how wrong he was — not just wrong, but criminally, hideously wrong. It is true that for most situations you need an immediate style of narration, infodumps or not. BUT for some a deflected style of narration is BEST. Needed in fact.

Okay — say I have a character — Gulliver Bright — in a terrible situation. He’s in a room with no other door. The bad guys are closing in on him. There is nothing he can use to defend himself.

If I write it like this:
They’re coming for me. Gulliver looked around wildly, at the smooth walls of the room he was in. Nothing. No way out.
From down the hall came the footsteps of his approaching enemies. As soon as they rounded the corner, he would see them. And they’d have a clear shot at him. Sweat dripped into his eyes. His gut clenched in a tight knot. I must find a way to get out.

You KNOW that not only is Gulliver fully aware and in possession of his faculties, but that he WILL somehow find a way to get out. But now suppose I want to foreshadow something different. Suppose that before running into that room Gully was wounded or perhaps drugged, and I want to signal to you that distancing from reality, that sense that the world is, as it were, running away from him. He might not know it. And I’m in his head. So, how do I signal to the reader that the character is off his rocker, and that this “will not end well” TM?

How about this, (which in the opinion of that theorist ranks as very bad writing indeed) —

They were coming for him. Gulliver knew it. Around him, the walls rose smooth and unbroken. He realized that he had no way out. There was nothing he could do. In his mind’s eye, he could see them, even as he heard their footsteps starting to round the corner of the hallway. Once they turned the corner they would be able to shoot him and there was no way at all he could defend himself. He felt sweat drip into his eyes. He felt his gut clench in a tight knot. He thought that he had to find a way out.

(And the next sentence for that would be something like “And then time ran out and the world went black.” But you get my point.)

And this got me thinking that I might actually have a theory of how to write. And what’s good and what’s bad. And why. Whether that’s true or not… who knows? I will be doing these entries, to be honest mostly for me, to codify the stuff at the back of my brain. But I don’t mind if all fifteen of you listen in…

So… with that in mind, see you next time.

Sarah

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — Epilogue

Mr. & Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow
From Wizzy Wiggs
Dear Mom and Dad
First of all, you should know that I’m all right, in body, if not in mind. By now you’ll have heard that our experiments were crowned with success. We found that reindeer are wonderful for pulling the sleigh.
On the other hand, we’re still dealing with the residual fall out of our experiments. As you know — or will have read in the Gnome Tattler by now — several elves were devoured whole, leaving only their feet. Also, the dolphins suffered a terrible fate and my very own assistant Ms. Sole Comfort was caught by the creature that has become known as the Menace of the Arctic and it was only through a cool head, the use of the reindeer sleigh, and my very own coolness of nerve and steady aim with a magic wand that she escaped unharmed.
What you won’t know, because it hasn’t been divulged, is that the Arctic Menace is none other than the penguin who escaped our very first experiment. The rays released by the magic gone wrong caused it to grow to twenty feet tall, glow in the dark and become ever so slightly carnivorous.

The news of this is being suppressed so no blame for the Arctic Menace will attach to the project.

I’m writing to you, by a very secret means, to ensure you know this since your home borders on the arctic circle. Save yourselves, my dear parents, save yourselves.

Your — probably doomed — son

Wizzy Wiggs

From the director of Tired Wings Magical Rest and Recuperation Home for Distraught Magical Creatures
to Mr. and Ms. Gadge T. Wiggs

It is with the most profound regret we inform you that your son, young Wiggs, died at our facility last week, from having ingested too much magic dust. His death has been ruled a suicide, possibly caused by hearing that Ms. Comfort and all the other experimenters involved in the project have died in one way or another in the last week.

We’ve been told that he might have managed to get a letter out by some means. Should you be the recipients of that letter, and should it mention penguins, you should be informed penguins seemed to be one of the obsessions caused by you son’s illness. He had nightmares about them, and talked about them constantly. These were penguins that existed only in his mind. The mystery of the Arctic Menace is and shall remain a mystery.

In Sadness,

R G R Egret.

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day Eleven

Mr. And Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hallow

Dear Mom and dad,

Well, I hardly know what to write today.  To begin with, we were testing zebras.  And as far as I could determine from the early test, zebras are eminently suited to the task of pulling the SANTA sleigh.

In the early test, you say?  Well, yes, because as we started gaining speed, the temporometer clicking merrilly alone this… horrible darkness obscured the landscape.  It was as though a very tall tower had materialized in front of us.  There was a horrble creak-like-scream, a smell of fish that hasn’t seen the ocean in far too long.

When we woke up, Boggs and I, we were on the snow, in the wreckage of the sleigh.  The zebras, I’m afraid, had been eaten.

Boggs keeps saying “I saw, I saw,” but can never say what he saw.  He usually just starts screaming “The horror, the horror.”

They’re sending me in another assistant tomorrow.  A girl.  And meanwhile I’ve been asked to try eagles as sleigh pullers.

I just wish I knew what sent Boggs out of his mind.  Perhaps he hit his head?

Yours ever,

WW

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day ten

Mr. & Mrs Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear Mom and dad

I’m sorry I couldn’t write before but you see, the day after the camels, we tried the squid.  Now it might seem strange to you that the squid could be used in the open air, but with little water tanks, this was no problem at all.  or so we thought.  Until, of course, the sleigh took off…   And then the mechanism that was supposed to purify the water and allow the squids to float in their own little aquariums… malfunctioned.

Let’s just say any piece of paper on the North Pole was QUITE splattered with ink.  We had to wait for a new delivery.  Also, am getting somewhat tired of friction-braised squid steaks, but Boggs says we must stay within our budget.

Meanwhile, in the last few days, pelicans, snails, storks and lions have also failed, in terrifying ways.  Also, one of the lions was eaten by our mysterious carnivore.  Boggs says it is the punishment of our attempt to use nature for magical purposes.  I’m starting to wonder if Boggs has a barbecue grill in his room and if he likes roast lion.

Worriedly your son,

WW

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — Day Five

Mr. and Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m sorry this letter seems to be so late.  I swear I’ve kept to my promise of writing you every day.  The problem was… the camels…

You know how their humps are said to store water?  Well, the moment we harnessed them in…  the tempormeter started ticking really fast.  Next thing you know…. we were all over the snow..  and it was a week later.  It seems camels humps also metaphysically speaking store … time.  And the sleigh distabilized the setup…

Anyway.  So, it’s next week.  And we’ve decided not to use camels anymore.

On the worrysome side, two more animals — an ostrich and a llama have been found devoured, the bones picked clean.  it’s clear there is a carnivore on the loose, but nobody can find it.

Worriedly,

your son

WW

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day four

This is part of a challenge that my husband — http://danhoyt.livejournal.com/ and my friend Kate Paulk http://katepaulk.livejournal.com/  are also doing.

Mr. and Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear Mom and Dad,

Oh, boy, alligators.  You can imagine my excitement as I woke up.  I mean, alligators totally fit the weight requirements for sleigh animals — unlike elephants, which my superior tells me would change a poem that will likely be written (95% chance) at some future date, from “up on the roof there arose such a clatter” to “down the roof came with a clatter.”  Which apparently wouldn’t be as satisfactory.

But the day started badly.  One of the twenty alligators, picked to make magical sleigh history was missing.  We harnessed the other nineteen anyway.

And then waited.  And waited.  the alligators just… lay there on the snow.  At last Boggs said they were probably too cold and that he would go get some coffee.  I thought, of course, like a good engineer, he was getting coffee to pour over the beasts.

But when he came back with a cup from Starbucks, North Pole division, all he could say was that alligators was a stupid idea.  I would have protested, but at that point, one of the auxiliary elves came running, to tell us that they’d found the bones of the twentieth alligator.  yes, that’s right.  Bones.  Picked in clean on bloodied snow.

We checked all the pens, but none of the other animals was missing.  Certainly not the carnivores.  So… what could have eaten the twentieth alligator?  What horror stalks our experiments?

Rather sad, I had the alligators unhitched from the sleigh and taken to their warm pen.  I still feel kind of bad, really.  I had another elf secure their pen, hoping whatever it is won’t attack them again.

Tomorrow we’re going to try camels.

As always, your loving son

WW

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day three

Check out my husband’s entry to this challenge at: http://danhoyt.livejournal.com/20149.html?view=18101#t18101

And now my friend Kate Paulk has joined the fun:  http://katepaulk.livejournal.com/2794.html

 The Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear Mom and Dad,

I write in haste.  What a disaster today was.

It seemed like such a good idea too.  A single elephant could pull the entire sleigh no matter how loaded.

However, the elephant, being the size it is, when interacting with the magical field seems to cause… well… there is no other way of putting it, its own gravity.

We took off at a sharp incline and as soon as we were off the ground, we found ourselves orbiting the pachiderm’s behind in an ever narrowing circle.  Meanwhile, the temporometer was clicking maddly forward and then backward and then forward again.

It’s all a blur…  We hit the elephant’s butt and… well…. there is no delicate way to explain the next few seconds.  Let’s just say the excrement hit the sleigh.  Tons of excrement.

I thought that I could design a mechanism to counter the pull of the elephant’s nether regions, but Boggs — who is truly not a positive thinker — doubted me.

At any rate, people in the physics department at FAUGH say our test caused the Earth’s orbit to slow down enough that it threw the entire year off and they asked that we not use elephants again.

So… tomorrow… alligators.

Your Son,

WW

PS – Oh, don’t worry about the calendar, the guys in the physics dept are great.  They managed to contain the damage so that it will be okay if we just add an extra day every four years.  There’s also something with minutes every year.  They said not to worry about it.  It was a much bigger mess with the experiment with the pudding, back when we had to change from Julian to Gregorian calendar.

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day two

Check out my husband’s parallel entries at: http://danhoyt.livejournal.com/20149.html?view=18101#t18101

Mr. and  Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear mom and dad,

Boy, oh, boy, was today an exciting day.   Since we are constrained to use a sleigh, I thought it was logical to start off with a family of Emperor penguins as sleigh pullers.

This, of course, involved designing a whole new set of harnesses, since penguins haven’t before been used to pull sleighs, magical or otherwise.  I truly don’t know why, since they would seem to be the obvious choice.

Anyway — when we finally got off the ground, at just past noon, my assistant Boggs was complaining that it would make us late for lunch.

The good news is that the sleigh took off, if listing slightly to the side.  In fact, it took off beautifully and at high speed, the temporometer clicking steadily backwards.

All was well until the penguins spotted some sea lions on the snow bank beneath.  This must have cause some issues in their subconscious, because the sleigh spun around on itself very fast, in a corkscrew motion.  It exhuded violet light and then…

Well, the penguins were scattered all over.  We had to track them all down to make sure they were still alive, because FAUGH has a strict no-animal-injured policy.   They all appear to be well, except number sixteen, whom we couldn’t locate at all.  I can’t believe it is seriously injured, since the only problems found on the other penguins were an ability to do algebra and a tendency to buzz under an artificial light — injuries considered negligible by any animal organization.

Boggs insists that since we can’t garantee the penguins won’t see sea lions on their round the world trip, I must discard penguins as an idea.  I did briefly consider using blinders to keep them calm, but given the vast quantity of animals in pens waiting their turns, I believe we’ll move on to something else.

Tomorrow — elephants.

Your son,

WW

Wizzy Wiggs Saga — day one

My husband http://danhoyt.livejournal.com/20149.html?view=18101#t18101and I are doing funny, episodic, holidays-related entries for the next month.  Hope you enjoy them.

 Mr. and Mrs.  Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow

Dear mom and dad,

You’ll never guess what happened.  Not in a million years.   And I know you have more important things to do in the next million years, so I’ll just tell you:

On my first day on the job, here at the department of Fairytales And Unexpected Global Happiness, and already I’ve been given the most cutting-edge job on all of FAUGH.

You see, they are establishing — it’s very technical and probably secret — an entire project entitled SANTA — Sudden And Nifty Treats Allover — and for reasons known only to the planners, this means having a man (well, an elf, actually, but he is supposed to look like an aged homo sapiens) in a red suit, riding a sleigh, giving gifts to every child on Earth over the period of twenty four hours.

I will admit that some of what must be the exquisite beauty of the plan evade me.  I’m at a loss as to why the suit must be red, or even why gifts must be distributed over one night.  You’d think a steady stream over the year would be better for the economy.

However, Mr. P. Lanner tells me I’m quite wrong and at any rate, it’s none of my business.  Because I was made head of my own team, and it’s the project you could say I was created to do — I’m in charge of all the engineering for the entire SANTA project,

My assignment is to find which animals would work best with the magico/kynetic field of sleigh and maximize sleigh for both speed, aerodynamics, ability to land on roofs (another of those details they didn’t explain) and above all, ability to turn back time enough with each stop that the entire world can be covered in one night.

I’ve had my underlings gather animals from all over the world.  I can’t wait to start tests.

Your loving son,

WW