Mr. & Mrs. Gadge T. Wiggs
Elf Hollow
From Wizzy Wiggs
Dear Mom and Dad
First of all, you should know that I’m all right, in body, if not in mind. By now you’ll have heard that our experiments were crowned with success. We found that reindeer are wonderful for pulling the sleigh.
On the other hand, we’re still dealing with the residual fall out of our experiments. As you know — or will have read in the Gnome Tattler by now — several elves were devoured whole, leaving only their feet. Also, the dolphins suffered a terrible fate and my very own assistant Ms. Sole Comfort was caught by the creature that has become known as the Menace of the Arctic and it was only through a cool head, the use of the reindeer sleigh, and my very own coolness of nerve and steady aim with a magic wand that she escaped unharmed.
What you won’t know, because it hasn’t been divulged, is that the Arctic Menace is none other than the penguin who escaped our very first experiment. The rays released by the magic gone wrong caused it to grow to twenty feet tall, glow in the dark and become ever so slightly carnivorous.
The news of this is being suppressed so no blame for the Arctic Menace will attach to the project.
I’m writing to you, by a very secret means, to ensure you know this since your home borders on the arctic circle. Save yourselves, my dear parents, save yourselves.
Your — probably doomed — son
Wizzy Wiggs
From the director of Tired Wings Magical Rest and Recuperation Home for Distraught Magical Creatures
to Mr. and Ms. Gadge T. Wiggs
It is with the most profound regret we inform you that your son, young Wiggs, died at our facility last week, from having ingested too much magic dust. His death has been ruled a suicide, possibly caused by hearing that Ms. Comfort and all the other experimenters involved in the project have died in one way or another in the last week.
We’ve been told that he might have managed to get a letter out by some means. Should you be the recipients of that letter, and should it mention penguins, you should be informed penguins seemed to be one of the obsessions caused by you son’s illness. He had nightmares about them, and talked about them constantly. These were penguins that existed only in his mind. The mystery of the Arctic Menace is and shall remain a mystery.
In Sadness,
R G R Egret.
According To Hoyt 