Ms. Sarah Hoyt Sings The Blues

Okay, not really.  And you should be glad, truly.  Instead I read my short story, Another George from my collection Crawling Between Heaven And Earth, available at the Baen Free Library in Baen.com.

For those who’ve never heard me in person, the accent might drive you nuts.

This is an experimental thing.  I was testing the hardware.  Next I test the editing software.  And then, if there is still interest, I do more of these. :)

I hope you enjoy.

 Diner.TeddRoberts.com/uploads/podcast1.mp3

Also for those of you who haven’t been exposed to the sheer insanity of my oldest’s LJ, here is:

http://robertahoyt.livejournal.com/

DO NOT have anything in mouth while reading.  The management is NOT responsible for spattered keyboards, monitors or self.

The horror! The depravity!

Like most supporters of gay marriage, I’ve been accused of wanting to put our culture on a slippery slope to hell.  If I had a dime for each time someone has told me "What about incest?" or "What if they want to marry their dog?"

Now, mind you, my social circle — both gay and straight friends — is arguably limited by the fact that I spend two thirds of my awake time writing.  But I can honestly say that the raciest thing I’ve ever heard any friend say about his/her pet is on the order of "We must get Peaches trimmed again.  She’s looking shaggy."

However for those of you, culture warriors, truly worried about that slippery slope, I have bad news.  The war is lost.  It’s already worse than you thought. 

In the midst of a very busy weekend we dropped by a thrift shop (I’m looking for a decent opaque projector and things like that sometimes turn up there.) and # 1 son — ever alert — called my attention to a work of unimaginable depravity that is — I shudder to say it — aimed at the youngest and most vulnerable members of society.

Parents, surrogate parents, concerned friends are advised to shield the eyes of minors from the following quite graphic pictures which, I regret to say, are necessary to reveal the full extent of the depravity we are facing. read more if you dare!

Good Morning America, I Love You

I’m still mired deep in writing, though the treacle has got somewhat less sticky and I can see the end from where I am.

However, for several days now, I’ve had this song stuck in my head:

Riding on the City of New Orleans,
Illinois Central Monday morning rail
Fifteen cars and fifteen restless riders,
Three conductors and twenty-five sacks of mail.
All along the southbound odyssey
The train pulls out at Kankakee
Rolls along past houses, farms and fields.
Passin’ trains that have no names,
Freight yards full of old black men
And the graveyards of the rusted automobiles.

Good morning America how are you?
Don’t you know me I’m your native son,
I’m the train they call The City of New Orleans,
I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done.

I know the song echoes of bitterness and all that, but the thing is, I’ve always loved that opening because I’ve always loved early morning America seen from car or bus.  The little houses by the side of the highway, the fast foods opening up, traffic slugishly trickling out onto the highway.

 

Continue reading “Good Morning America, I Love You” →

The things writers read

*Crossposted from http://madgeniusclub.blogspot.com/  *

Apropos nothing I’ve been wondering if I’m typical of how writers’ read. I don’t mean in fiction.
In fiction – with the strange exception of people I’ve been hearing about lately, who do not read at all because they’re afraid it will taint their writing (most of these people aren’t published, I should add) – the short answer to a writer’s reading tastes is like the one about the eight hundred pound gorilla. The short answer is "Anything he/she wants to." The even shorter answer is "Everything."

For years I held fast to one certainty. I didn’t read Romance. And then it started trickling in. It started with Dave Freer – curse you my friend ! – telling me I had to read Heyer. He was right, I did. Venetia quickly became one of my favorite books, an obsession I promptly passed onto the boys. And then friends recommended other writers. And then at RWA I found my reaction to Romance is about the same as to other genres. It leaves no mark. Meaning that I can read most of it painlessly. About ten percent will strike me one way or another. Ten percent will make me run out and buy everything the writer ever wrote. Ten percent makes me throw it against the wall and at least metaphorically stomp on it. Which makes Romance just the same as Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery and Thrillers.

Two things I don’t read, and they’re highly personal distastes – one of them is gross out horror. It’s not that I’m a sensitive plant. My friend Charles is forever protecting me from gross/shocking sights because the fact that I don’t like paint-the-room-red scenes fits in with his idea of being a lady. I’m a lady and therefore I should flinch from this sort of thing. Actually the truth is that it bores me. In the dank mess that is my mind I can come up with much worse than anything I’ve ever read. Without trying. Depending on how stable I’m feeling, sometimes the difficult part is not to write this stuff.

The other thing I don’t read, for a different reason, is porn. No, look, I’m not going to claim to be much purer or high minded than other people. I assume some of you have read my stuff – coff. It’s just that what goes where and how many times has never held any kind of fascination unless it is at that precise moment happening to me (and then I don’t particularly want to share it). I’m not excluding erotica. In fact I’m learning to include erotic passages in my writing. (Which is funny, considering I sold my first erotica piece ten years ago, but it was very much a one-off.) But in erotica what’s important is the emotions that dictate the acts and are shaped by them. That’s different from in and out and "oh," and "ah." Fictional characters need to have emotions to be real.

But everything else that falls to hand, from fairy tales to my kids’ Disney comics, gets read. Depending on the time of day and what I feel like, I can find myself reading very odd things.

On the other hand, my non fiction forms a much more interesting pattern and one that I’m not sure other writers follow at all. I know that many of my friends – Dave Freer, for instance – read a lot of non fiction as well. But I also know that a lot of them read almost exclusively fiction. I read at least as much non-fiction as fiction. Possibly more, depending on what is going on in my life. (Non-fiction demands less emotional involvement than fiction, so when I’m tired or depressed, I read mostly non-fiction.)

One of the first books I read was a scholarly history of Portugal and since then I have continued to read a lot history, but also other things – things I love include old biology books. Old science books, of any kind, including nineteenth century educational texts. Travel logs. Books on economics, physics… well, just about anything.

I buy non fiction the way other people buy food when they go to the grocery store hungry. "Oooh, that looks good." Hitting Amazon with time on my hands, means a jumble of books gets bought. Ditto hitting a bookstore. Or for that matter the dumpster outside a bookstore.
Generally speaking there is a pattern to it, though, and it can be exemplified by the stuff that dropped into the house today via the mail. First, there was Black Swan, a book on well… our perception of quantum reality and rare history-altering events that were thought to be impossible before. So far I have no reason why I’m reading this. Just… it’s interesting and it’s there. I keep it downstairs in the kitchen and read it while having meals, or tea, or cooking (or huddling by the oven because it’s been so cold). That sort of thing.

The other one is Gentleman Boss, a biography of President Chester Arthur. This one is being read with the vague idea of a series of historical murder mysteries. I’ve discussed the first of this with my agent, with the idea that it was a one-off, and possibly main stream. For all it know it’s still main stream, but I have a vague suspicion it’s not one-off. I’m reading this book with the idea of pinning that feeling down and seeing if there is a "there" there. To put it in perspective, the idea for the first of these mysteries came to me almost a year ago, and the suspicion there might be more did not hit until last month. That one is by my bedside table, and I read a few pages before sleeping.

Then there is – still un-started, (because if I start it, it will make me go back to that project and away form the one in which I’m working just now) and I don’t remember the title, is about the status of women in baroque France. That one is for a very specific half-way through project.
And then there’s just general "ooh" reading. When I had the idea for my Heart of Light Series, I didn’t even know where my memory of African History came from.

It wasn’t until we were moving that I found, stuffed in a closet, all the books I’d already decided I needed to buy to carry the project through. Finding them, I remembered I’d read them ten years before and that was why I just needed to refresh my knowledge. I’d read them in a fit of "Ooh, that looks tasty." In the same vein, lately I’ve been doing a lot of cryptozoology reading. No idea where it fits in, yet.

Do other writers read like me? I don’t know. I know that the older I get the more I want to read – and listen. And watch. The Great Courses series is ruining me – and the more conscious I am of how little I know. Even with all my reading, the idea that I can create a plausible world – scientific or magic – is a staggering piece of hubris. I look at my book-stuffed house and I think "I want to know more."

Footprints in our minds

(crossposted from mad genius club — http://madgeniusclub.blogspot.com/)

I suppose everyone has seen the hallmark-like poem that goes "Some people come into our lives and quickly leave, but others stay for a while, leave footprints in our hearts and afterwards we are never, ever the same."

For a while now, I’ve been thinking about writers and the special relationship between a writer and a reader. Those of you who know me have heard my occasional rant about the big conglomerates controlling publishing houses today and mandating publishing by the numbers. If anyone truly hankers to hear me get on my soap box, please feel free to ask. This isn’t it. This is more about how much – as a reader – I miss the way writers and readers used to have a relationship.

Continue reading “Footprints in our minds” →

In Which I Offend Everyone

Okay, I know you don’t think that’s possible, but trust me. The reason I keep quiet about anything even vaguely related to politics is not because I have no opinions.  Most of you have read my books.  Do you think I could have passion if I had no opinions?  The reason I keep quiet is because I have the sort of opinions that are guaranteed to offend ninety nine percent of people and make at least half of them go unhinged enough to attack my blog. This happens even when I’m NOT trying to saying anything political but merely expressing my opinion on school assignments, or culture, or inherited cultural characteristics, as I’m sure we all remember.

Thank heavens this time what I have to say has absolutely nothing to do with school assignments – or at least if it does my children haven’t told me about it, for which everyone should be grateful.

Ladies and gentlemen, aliens and dragons and those of you who are not quite sure what you are this evening, sit back – I’m afraid I have to address the topic of gay marriage. Yes, I do.

It started with the meme going around live journal where straight people were supposed to copy a phrase saying they didn’t feel threatened by gay marriage. I saw it and thought about it, and thought about writing about it before the election, but then I thought no, I’ll just offend both sides, and perhaps some sides no one knows exists.

You see, I despise the easy sloganeering conveyed by these memes. Like buttons and bumper stickers, they replace thought with sound bites. They are at once too easy and too ineffective. You copy and paste a sentence and you feel like you’ve done your duty, whatever that is. Reality is always far more complex, far more difficult and far more interesting.

And then proposition 8 passed in California. And since then there have been email hints, nudges and clearings of throats to the extent that one should, to be a decent person, say something.

So I’m saying something.

Continue reading “In Which I Offend Everyone” →

The writer is jealous of the cat – a not quite story.

It is a well known fact that all humans are jealous of cats. How could we not be? They’re more agile, more beautiful. Their minds can take in both casual cruelty and complete, serene rest.

When the writer looks up in the middle of the day and sees the little white and grey cat asleep on the chair next to hers, belly up, blissful whiskers trembling in the stream of his exhalations… How to resist getting up and tickling the fluffy dandelion belly?

The cats protects his belly with front paws and looks up at writer with confused blinking eyes as if to say aw. Let me sleep. What was so important you had to wake me?

After a moment he stretches. Since I’m up his walk says, as he bounces out the office door. I might as well see if there’s anything good in the old food bowl.

If the writer is very, very good, perhaps in another life, as a reward, she’ll come back as a small grey and white puffball of feline fluff.

Simply the Best

Still trying to get over this horrible cough/cold.  My lungs feel more compromised than a Victorian maiden caught skinny dipping with the stable boy.  So I’ve been sleeping and reading, since nothing else is happening.  Reading inevitably turns to my "comfort reads."

Giovanni Guareschi remains – to my mind – the best writer of short short fiction (Not flash. His stories run about 1 to 2 k words, I’d guess) who ever worked. This is probably a personal quirk of mine, predicated on having read him when I was very young, but maybe not. You judge. The stories are set in post WWII Italy, all the way to the sixties. The later sixties stories are not as good, but the man was getting old, after all.

The thing is with the coldwar setup and the communist mayor and the catholic priest as the main characters you’d expect a spy vs. spy cartoonish thing. It’s not even close. I re-read these books every fall to figure out how he does things with a minimal fuss. I buy his books used and new, when I can and give them to all and sundry, as much as I give Techniques Of The Selling Writer.

As an illustration, I’m copying below about two and a half pages of Technique of the Coup D’Etat, first published in Don Camillo and the Prodigal Son (though I have it in The Don Camillo Omnibus.)

So, here is Technique of the Coup D’Etat, by Giovanni Guareschi, translated by Frances Frenaye – follow if you will how he develops danger and sheer blood chilling creepiness without ever SAYING anything about it.

Technique of The Coup D’Etat by Giovanni Guareschi, translated by Frances Fernaye (Typos mine.)

At ten o’clock on Tuesday evening, the village square was swept with wind and rain, but a crowd had been gathered there for three or four hours to listen to the election news coming out of a radio loudspeaker. Suddenly the lights went out and everything was plunged into darkness. Someone went to the control box but came back saying there was nothing to be done. The trouble must be up the line or at the power plant, miles away. People hung around for half an hour or so, and then, as the rain began to come down even harder than before, they scattered to their homes, leaving the village silent and deserted. Peppone shut himself up in the People’s Palace, along with Lungo, Brusco, Straziami, and Gigio, the same leader of the "Red Wing" squad from Molinetto. They sat around uneasily by the light of a candle stump and cursed the power and light monopoly as an enemy of the people, until Smilzo burst in. He had gone to Rocca Verde on his motorcycle to see if anyone had news and now his eyes were popping out of his head and he was waving a sheet of paper.

"The Front has won!" he panted. "Fifty-two seats out of a hundred in the senate and fifty-one in the chamber. The other side is done for. We must get hold of our people and have a celebration. If there’s no light, we can set fire to a couple of haystacks nearby.

 

Continue reading “Simply the Best” →

Pity the Hoyt Boys

I know you hate surly teens who come to the door on Halloween as much as the next person. We always thought one should stop trick or treating around 13. Well, Eric is thirteen this year, and we wanted him to have his last trick or treating. Because it’s the last year his brother will be around for Halloween, we decided to have Robert go with him as a costume accessory.

Explanation – Eric was all in black, suit, with red tie. His line was "Nice candy you got there. Shame if something were to happen to it!" At which point he snapped his fingers and Robert stepped forward with open briefcase and said "Trick or treat, sir/ma’am" he was collecting for Eric…

Anyway a lot of people took exception to this. Look, when kids come to your door on Halloween, if they made an effort, give them the benefit of the doubt. (I always do, anyway.) Eric LOOKS sixteen. He’s taller than both of us – tops out at six feet – but really, he’s thirteen and he is still a boy. As for his brother, at seventeen he might have been the world’s largest costume accessory, but no matter what he looks like, he’s not 21. He’s an older teen enjoying his brother’s last time trick or treating and enjoying helping him.

Poor boys. I shouldn’t have mixed up the baking powder and the baby powder. They just keep growing and growing and growing.

There’s only forty real people in the world

And some of them are hamburgers, as Captain Beefheart would say.

I’ve been mentioned on Instapundit.  It’s a very strange experience, kind of like the first time I was mentioned in Locus.  http://pajamasmedia.com/instapundit/

Here I was with my cup of coffee, seeing what the world had been up to before I was fully awake, when lo and behold, there was my name at the top.  (Under in the mail.)  Before my eyes focused I wondered what I’d done during the night while I was asleep that was so newsworthy.

I’ve bought more SF/F books on Glenn Reynold’s recommendation than I care to list, so finding myself mentioned in his blog was sort of like "oh, wow.  How small the world is."