I woke up at almost four am with horrors. In this case it was an infinite sense of grief and loss, like I’d just seen a loved one die before my eyes. And it wouldn’t dissipate. It just wouldn’t.
Eventually I picked up the computer and started poking around. Anything not to be alone, with that sense of dread. Which considering how tired I am… (And yes, I have thought it is a mercy of the Lord that I’m in this endless project right now, kind of like being laid down with a fever when you’d otherwise go berserk. Though the fact Dan is moving tomorrow and we will follow when this is done (there are reasons) doesn’t help. This is no time to have the family separated.)
I think — hope, rather — it was just the date. That’s bad enough.
But the events since January have left us open to a lot of other attacks that are similar or worse. I won’t list them. You’re political junkies. You know.
Though the sheep on the street might not get it, our government is acting in a way that will bring attacks on us in a thousand ways in the next ten years. Children playing today will die because of this idiocy which they won’t even be aware of.
Even the first nine eleven shouldn’t have happened save for institutions that consider Americans the real enemy.
For me? I can’t believe it’s been twenty years, or the friends — entire circles of them who went insane in this time.
Even if my stand didn’t make them froth at the mouth, our views of the world would be too different.
There is a world in which 9/11 never happened, and I’m writing my stories, and no one has any clue what my politics are. It’s not the world I have to live in.
Perhaps better, perhaps not. To quote the song linked above “I wouldn’t know; I’m just holding the fort. Since that day they wounded New York.”
But where we are twenty years in, it’s time to remember we’re Americans. Sure, our government is worse than poisoned wet kleenex when it comes to protecting us, and we might have to protect ourselves from it.
But we’re Americans. Land of the Brave, home of the Free. Not because our government and laws make it so, but because we are.
Remember we have heroes in whose footsteps we can follow, too.
To the Eternal Glory of the US of A, shines the name, shines the name of Colonel Cyril Richard “Rick” Rescorla!
As he performed his duty, 20 years ago, in the face of death he sang two songs. Let his memory guide us with them today.
Remember you’re Americans. Americans aren’t afraid. Oh, some of us at times, but not Americans as a whole. we’re the ones who bite and kick and fight back. We’re not tame.
And we will not be tamed or cowed. Come what may, even if that sense of grief in the night was a premonition be right. Come what may.