One of the giggle-inducing effects of 2021 — like 2020 but this time we laugh, because it hurts too much too cry — is the whole “holding with diamond hands” of the wallstreetbets people.
For all I now, it’s actually a stock trading term. Maybe? I mean, stock traders have all sorts of strange terms.
But the way the stonk-buying kiddies use it makes me giggle all the same, “Diamond hands, bois.”
And this morning I woke up thinking “Diamond hands, it’s not just for stocks anymore.”
Look, 2020 and January 2021 signaled one thing: that America’s awkward phase has come to an end. But the liberty bell hasn’t rung yet. And if y’all are ringing your hands instead stop it. These things take time. It will take someone with a better socio-mathematical mind than mine — and, oh, it would take much more accurate records, which we don’t have. And if we don’t have it, the rest of the world is a total loss — to calculate the equation of revolt. But one thing I can tell you: it’s not instantaneous.
Particularly in a country like the US it’s not instantaneous. I was reading an article about how the Ficus (And the ho, and whoever is manipulating them) ruined America in the first two weeks of executive orders, and it was persuasive. But I haven’t really felt the effects yet. Things are more expensive, but not beyond fluctuation. And some things, like gas, are more expensive, but we haven’t felt it yet, because I’ll be honest, we almost don’t drive. In fact, if absolutely needed most of what we do by car, we could do on foot. I just don’t care to shop five times a week, so I can drag it bag in wheeled bags. Our drives were mostly church, entertainment and (husband) work. And you know, none of those are operative right now.
Sure the increase in energy prices is going to skyrocket the energy to heat (and cool. We have a piano that doesn’t take temperature changes well) the house and next winter is going to punch us in or about the fracas. Sure, this means that everything from beef to well…. everything because transport, is going to cost more. But that will take a while to percolate through the behemoth that’s our economy. And that will probably ALSO not sock us fully before next winter.
So, no, people aren’t rushing to the fourth box. Hell, some number of them are still thinking they can fix it all in the ballot box, in two years. (Which is why my timeline is 6 months — if they go completely and absolutely stupid and try to arrest people, starting with Trump — to two years.) But again, there isn’t an exact formula for this.
What I do know is that it’s at the intersection of rulers who are oppressive and crazy — yet inefficient (most totalitarians are — and incredibly annoying WHILE at the same time not having ruined things so much that EVERYONE is grubbing in the garbage for their food.
But you know, here’s the thing, chilluns, America is different. One of the ways in which we’re different, is that there is no one to save us. I don’t think we have realized that. When it sinks in the bell might very well ring.
The other way we’re different is that we’re the economic turbine of the world. No? Well, if you don’t think so, you have never lived abroad. Or you’re as economically ignorant as Xi.
But but but China makes all the things! And they have such a huge market. Why, the NFL and movies and all that are basically saying they no longer need America, because they have the huge Chinese market, and they’re going to be rich, rich, rich, mwhahahah.
Ah. Yeah. I’ve seen trad and used-to-be trad get ALLLL excited about China. And I giggled.
“BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BUY MY THING!”
No, they’re not. But Xi, who is besides being an utter asshole, an economically illiterate one, might try to pretend it is, to get you to play on his team.
China is a paper tiger. And the paper is mostly IOUs.
Sure, they have a massive population: a massive (and uncounted, because if you think those counts are accurate I have some swamp land in FL I’d love to sell you. For one the Chinese idea of NUMBERS is different. For another, no totalitarian society has accurate counts of anything, even those things they want to count. They are by definition corrupted markets), illiterate, dirt poor population, living at a level that makes your ancestors in the 11th century in Europe seem to have lived like kings. (And that’s not counting the outright slaves of the state.)
China has a good thing going economically: They produce cheap crap, with a lot of error and sometimes outright poisoning of the customer (that too is cultural) but so cheap that they undercut every producer in the west. And the west, particularly as it plunged into socialism, needed cheap rap, because the actual spending money in people’s pockets kept decreasing.
Then Trump tried to balance the scales and stop us buying outright slave-made products. Not to mention stop China from buying our institutions with its ill-gotten gains.
Which is how we found out that Xi is as stupid as our idiot liberals, and as fracking ignorant of where money comes from.
Yo, Winnie the Pooh’s dumb twin, listen up: value is not raw materials plus labor. You genius always forget ultimately things are worth what someone is willing to pay for them. I guess Winnie the Pooh’s head is full of fluff and Xi’s is full of shit. Marxist shit, to be exact. We can’t blame him too much, so are the heads of most of our college graduates. It takes a lot of education to believe such dumb crap.
If you take America into your carnival ride of ruin — and you are — Americans won’t be able to afford even cheap crap.
The economic engine of the WORLD stops. Because America are the world’s consumers. As tight as things got in the endless Obamanian Summer Of Recovery, we were still the wealthiest country, where the common people have the most spending cash. We drive the demand for manufacture, for innovation, for improvement.
So, what these bright boys and girls in China and the US have done, by so cleverly fortifying us out of country is killed the goose that laid the golden eggs. But they won’t know till the golden eggs are gone, and they realize dead geese don’t lay.
So, while in this awkward phase, and waiting for the ringing of the bell, what do we do?
Sure, laugh at them. Gosh, that really upsets the humorless bastards and bitches. And rebel in minor and safe ways.
But I propose, bois and gels, that we perform a public service as well: I propose we show them what they’re doing in the only way they’ll understand.
Boys, Gels, Unicorns, Dragons, Minotaurs, and one obstreperous Wallaby: It’s time for our version of diamond hands. This time with our own money.
Or if we prefer, the Ramkin motto: What is ours, we keep.
I know I’d said that February I’d try to spend as little as possible. This is true. We are. Though something occurred to me: if you HAVE to spend (as in replace something major that died) do it now, this quarter, as fast as you can. Both because that establishes the proper curve to the economy (they’ll lie about it, but stink on ice is hard to hide) and because we can’t trust the quality of anything in a corrupt society and market.
And after that …. hold as tight as you can. Make that money squeal. And if you can buy in the down market (garage sales, craigslist, free swap, etc) DO SO.
So, some rules for diamond hands:
1- If you have to buy big (or have big medical, or anything on which the quality is essential) fast track that biatch. Have it done as soon as humanly possible. The quality is going to go down from here, and besides, you want the money curve to bend towards obvious ruin.
2- Those things you would buy that are mostly made in China: fabric, clothes, etc (even if you can’t do anything about medicine and such, but do try. You can often get it for less and more reliable without prescription on line. Not actually joking) buy used. If you can’t find it used…. Well. I’m going to look for fabric for t-shirts in thrift stores and failing that for too-large but newish t-shirts I can cut down.
3- food. Buy bulk and reapportion. Buy down the tree. We’ve been buying an awful lot of bulk, discount chicken. I actually seriously HATE chicken. But you know, a lot of ethnic dishes hide the taste of chicken (and any meat.) For instance, tonight I’m re-appropriating Vindaloo. (Revenge of cultural appropriation, this time it’s tasty!)
Anyway, you know your area better than I do, but let your watch word for groceries be “diamond hands.” Buy as cheap as you can that still fills your purpose. And if you can, buy local. (Wow, we’re gonna be like all those left wieners, locavores, upcycling clothes 😉 )
4- If you have to buy and have a choice, and know a producer is conservative or at least to the right of Lenin, buy from them.
If you to sell… well, it doesn’t matter, but if you know someone is supporting the destruction, charge them double, stupidity should hurt.
5- Swap. If you can swap goods and services. We have a community here, right? Well, for instance (though for G-d’s sake not this month) I’m open to making covers in return for typo hunting. Or critiques in return for secretarial services (I desperately need someone to a) keep me on track b) do minor stuff like make sure blurbs are updated, books are redesigned and updated, etc. Son is doing some of it, but we have other projects we need to do.) If anyone wants to start a secret/membership only swap site or list, I’d appreciate it. (We’re doing the promo/list site for indie writers and it’s taking a while, as we’re cramming it around everything else.)
6- To the extent of the possible — and I know it’s not absolute — show the assholes what a world without its engine is. Diamond hands, bois and gels. Diamond hands. Hold on to as much of your own as you can. Diversify your income and hold on to your voluta (which contrary to rumor is not a sauce that goes well with liver.)
Yes, this will eat some of your time and nervous energy, but if you’re like me not being able to do anything and utter depression is eating more. And there is such a thing as “resting by doing something else.” For me, for instance, sewing is a rest.
Do what you can to avoid buying new. And EVERYTHING to avoid buying made-in-China. You’ll need that voluta. Though I wouldn’t advise you keeping it in cash. The totalitarians get funky with cash really fast. How you keep it is your choice. Real estate might or might not do well. Depends on its use. Metal is always useful, though the most valuable one is now in short supply. There’s other things.
Diamond hands. Keep, hold. Take it out of their craps table. Hold.
What is ours we keep. And what you stole we’ll take back: including our liberty, our voice and our vote.
The mills of American anger grind very slowly. But when they achieve full speed, they level everything. And that is still better than the world without America that they think they want.
Let’s give them a warning shot. Let’s show them the power of the goose they’re killing.
Diamond hands. SQUEEZE.