A friend just sent me this and it so perfectly accords with my feelings, I had to share. I mean, I COULD suffer alone, but why?
Proposed 2021 Calendar-
January– War with Interdimensional aliens
February- Vampires reveal themselves as having been real all the time, and explain that they are in a drawn out battle with the Fey.
March– General Trump leads a contingent of Jager Robots against dopplegangers from another timeline that merges with ours.
April– The great old ones lead a dark army against the aliens. Humans unsure as to why we’re not the priority.
June- The great emperors of China, now arisen in a combined single soul calling itself, roughly, the High Lord, attempt to attack with an army of zombies while nobody is looking.
July- Things get very strange here.
August- Pope Trump, emperor of Saturn, ascends after defeating his predecessor in single combat after the old pope started manifesting horns and wings.
September- Mars explodes. Even given all of the above, nobody is sure why. Saturn is fine though.
October- Completely uneventful, but at this stage that’s almost worse.
November- We wake up and find that it was all a dream. Oh, not the stuff above. All the bits in between and before in which we thought life was not continually batshit.
December– People begin to spontaneously turn into animal-human hybrids and buildings suffer cataclysmic instability as basic structural components turn into cookie dough. The fundamental nature of reality dissolves into a morass of undifferentiated mush like a freshly decanted jell-o bundt on a salamander
Okay. You feel better now, right? Because there’s no way that 2021 can be that crazy.
Please, tell me that it can’t.