Why do people write fiction? by Frank J. Fleming

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Why do people write fiction? by Frank J. Fleming

For one reason only: It’s a great medium to indoctrinate people with your political views. An author only feels like he’s done a good job with his story if the reader either goes away having the correct views or becomes very angry that the author made fun of his wrong views, as making someone angry is the next best thing to converting them to your side (or maybe even better).

I’ve worked awhile writing for The Babylon Bee (which is all about indoctrinating people with extreme right-wing views through news stories designed to fool people), writing for IMAO, and writing novels, so I know a lot about indoctrination. My latest novel, Superego: Fathom, seems like a fun action-adventure about a psychopathic hitman trying to save the universe, but it’s really about making sure everyone holds my view on tax policy.

But indoctrinating people with your fiction isn’t easy. You have to be subtle. That’s why I have a few great tips to help you manipulate your reader without his or her knowledge.

TIP FOR USING INDOCTRINATION IN YOUR FICTION

Use names to manipulate. One easy way to manipulate your reader is with the names you choose. For the characters who disagree with you, give them names people naturally dislike, like Chad. No one wants to be on the same side as someone named Chad. Another name people naturally dislike: Hitler. So for a character representing the side you disagree with, the best name is Chad Hitler.

For those espousing your views, make sure they have nice, strong names — like Frank. Everyone loves Frank.

Make the people who agree with you really cool. Another way to subtly influence the reader is to just make everyone who agrees with you really cool so the reader wants to be like your characters. For the characters who have your politics, make sure they’re ultra-good at everything (marksmanship, rocket science, disco dancing) and never fail. Also, insert details that reinforce how cool those characters are, like mentioning they’re wearing sunglasses and leather jackets and always give thumbs up and say, “Ayyyy!”

Mention drool. A favorite subtle manipulation of mine is to mention drool when a character says something I disagree with. People associate drool with not smart opinions. For example:

“Just because Die Hard is set at Christmas,” said the drooling Chad Hitler, “doesn’t make it a Christmas movie.”

See, you probably read that and said to yourself, “There’s something about that opinion that doesn’t seem very smart.” It’s the mention of drool. You can also throw a “duh” or two into the character’s speech. People also associate saying “duh” out loud with bad opinions.

Have everyone who disagrees with you meet a gruesome death. It helps reinforce how bad the opinions are of people who disagree with you if they all die in particularly graphic ways, such as being crushed by a safe, getting hit by a bus, or just exploding for some reason. This will get the reader to say to himself, “I guess that’s what happens to people who believe those things.” Also, if you were really good with your previous manipulations, the reader will be happy to see the character get the gruesome death he deserves for his bad opinions.

Have a long speech followed by stunned silence. It’s important that at the end of your novel, you have one of the cool characters (wearing sunglasses) give a long speech — maybe ten to twenty pages — reinforcing all the things you believe. Now, in real life, after you give a speech like that, people will instantly try to pick it apart or, if online, respond with an unflattering meme. But in the world of your novel, which you control, you should mention how everyone who disagreed was stunned silent by all the smart points of the speech and have them not respond at all, because the speech was just too smart to respond to. And as the bad guys are stunned silent, have them get hit by a bus (see previous point).

—-

I hope you found these tips helpful. Make sure to check out Superego: Fathom. I think afterward you’ll find you suddenly have really strong opinions on progressive tax rates.

149 thoughts on “Why do people write fiction? by Frank J. Fleming

  1. I feel inspired to write a lengthy novel about the adventures of Karen Hitler, a minor cabinet official suddenly thrust into the Presidency by a pandemic along with her husband Chadley.
    As for the Babylon Bee, lately it’s been getting harder and harder to tell whether they’re serious or not on any given subject.

    1. They’re trying, but no matter how ridiculous they manage to be, reality outdoes them.
      ———————————
      Fiction must be plausible. Reality just has to happen.

    2. The Babylon Bee has proven more prophetic than Nostradamus and every other prophet, oracle or seer in at least the last two to three millennia. “Headlines from a couple of years ago” are now official Democratic Party doctrines and proclamations of the leftist loons.

      1. I read that as prophet, orange or seer….
        Three times.
        I was puzzled, I was.
        In other news, husband says we’re not getting an orange kitten. Just because right now I’m crazy enough to name him The Donald Orangecatbad.

          1. I’m joking because in less than two hours we’re taking Euclid on that last, sad trip to the vet, and I’m trying not to think of it.
            We are such stuff as dreams are made of. And our little lives are rounded with a sleep.

            1. Yes. Virtual Hugs.

              I’m sure Euclid will meet up with your other pets waiting at the rainbow bridge. Then declare “mommy needs another one of me to heal and keep her on task!!!! Lets get looking!!!!”

              Hadn’t planned this quickly. Wasn’t going online or to the shelter or said anything to anyone. Too many other houses with signs declaring “stop here”. But flyers at son’s work … what can I say, our signs say “suckers live here.” I know Thump got with Silver and the others and started looking. Last night he visited in my dreams and indicated “I know what you needed. Take care of them for all of us.”

            2. It’s inevitable that the animals we keep will go before we do, but if they have had long and happy and healthy lives, if we have done our best for them, then there should be no sadness in their passing.

              1. There’s lots of folks I think are in heaven.

                I’m still sad they died.

                That means I don’t get to see them with flesh on right now.

            3. That’s rough. Knowing you’re doing the right thing makes it no easier.

              When you accept companionship of a cat you accept the duty to walk him up the stairs and celebrate a life well lived.

            4. So sorry to hear that, wish I could offer more than a virtual hug, it’s always such a tough call, even when it’s the right one.

            5. Having to help a pet on their final journey is one of the hardest things in life. Euclid will be waiting at the rainbow Bridge for you…

        1. If I ever get a cat, I’ll probably need to forcibly restrain myself from calling it Mao. Which is Mandarin for “cat”. And also “hat” (though the stresses are slightly different).

          I don’t think Dr. Suess spoke Chinese, though I could be wrong…

          1. Somewhere in B. Kliban’s Cat there is a great cartoon which has two cats, both in stylized Mao Jackets, one saying “Mao!” and the other looking at mouse fewmets and saying “Mousie Dung”.

          2. Chinese is so dependent on pronunciation that you may be calling it “hair” or “brush” rather than “cat”, so be careful. You don’t want to raise an animal unsure of his/her/it identity. 🙂

            I was once invited to a Chinese New Years dinner, so I had a native Cantonese-speaker friend coach me for a couple hours in order to say “gung hay fat choy” well enough that hearers would only giggle behind my back politely, rather than staring blankly.

        2. I laughed, but I am soooo not letting my husband see this. We just got two new kittens (will post pics to Sarah’s Diner on FB). One is a fuzzy orange kitten (male). Other fuzzy little calico (female). Right at 5 weeks old.

            1. We’re on the other end of that, having bought a house with more than two cats in it. Half my family can smell it, the other half can’t at all. So, the right buyer may be one with no sense of smell.

                1. We’re working on it. Slowly, one space at a time. The smell will be gone when we leave. We had to remove surface layers and paint affected subfloor with a blocking primer. I think it was zinsser’s shellac based primer. I admit to being surprised that it worked to block the odor.

                2. Ozone generator. Read how to use it – and ALWAYS use a timer.

                  I’ve never found a smell that it won’t remove.

        3. So, it’ll be an orange dog then?

          And I read ahead: Another friend bound for the rainbow bridge. I send you hugs for your task at hand.

      2. Which means the BB writers should keep churning them out – the 2024 Dem platform is not going to write itself!

  2. Superego is one of my favorite novels to come out in the last few years. Awesome to see a second book is available!

  3. Just a few ideas to improve on your already stellar advice:

    Also, insert details that reinforce how cool those characters are, like mentioning they’re wearing sunglasses and leather jackets and always give thumbs up and say, “Ayyyy!”

    You should probably have them do the CSI: Miami thing of whipping their sunglasses off, saying an unanswerable one-liner, then putting the sun glasses back on. That’s the epitome of cool and doesn’t look at all affected.

    Mention drool. A favorite subtle manipulation of mine is to mention drool when a character says something I disagree with.

    It also helps if you mention that the character is fat. Multiple times, preferably, just in case the reader is particularly dense. Your example was good, but it could be made even better:

    “Just because Die Hard is set at Christmas,” said the drooling and fat Chad Hitler while wiping drool off his enormous quadruple chin, “doesn’t make it a Christmas movie.”

    Admittedly, that opinion by itself is stupid enough that the drool and fat are almost redundant, but it never hurts to bash your message in with all the subtlety of a jackhammer.

    It helps reinforce how bad the opinions are of people who disagree with you if they all die in particularly graphic ways, such as being crushed by a safe, getting hit by a bus, or just exploding for some reason.

    It’s even better if you can make them die in a graphic way directly associated with how wrong they are. For example, if Chad Hitler disagrees with legalizing marijuana, you could have him develop a sudden illness that can only be cured by a THC compound, and have him pass out in his car right at the Nebraska-Colorado border, swerve into the path of a tanker truck carrying gasoline, and die in the resulting explosion.

    I deeply hope that every aspiring writer here takes this advice. After all, I’m trying to get the money of people who just want to read a decently written and fun story, and I don’t need any more competition…er, I mean, because otherwise your reader might leave your book still thinking wrongthink, and that would be a tragedy of the highest order.

    1. “You should probably have them do the CSI: Miami thing of whipping their sunglasses off, saying an unanswerable one-liner, then putting the sun glasses back on. That’s the epitome of cool and doesn’t look at all affected.”

      Very good point. We’ve been rewatching Leverage and I like the idea of mastermind Mr. Obo saying to Chad Comey and Chaz Brennan, “Let’s go steal a country!”

      1. I actually liked Nat saying things like that.

        Which is a prime example of “in the right conditions this thing works, but outside of those conditions it does not”.

      2. Already been used, in Forsyth’s “The Dogs of War”.

        Sir James Masterson stood framed in the window. “Knocking over a bank is just common robbery. Knocking over a country shows a certain style.”

    2. Sex– good people have lots of good sex.

      Bad people don’t have sex, and are angry about it.

      Bonus if you have your fat, sex hating but involuntarily virgin, anti-pot person has an irresponsible number of of children who are all horrible, except for maybe one girl that will see how awesome and cool the Cool Character who Thinks The Right Thing is, and go have lots of sex with him or her or them. Because that’s cool, and they have lots of sex.

      1. For some reason this makes me think of way too many modern horror novels that have one vicious, sadistic, obviously meant to titillate (just WHO I don’t want to know) rape scene after another. Either with pretty young things who try to resist but must submit to Her Attacker’s Brutal Lusts, or with ugly right-wing churchgoing women who enjoy it because they’re having sex for the first time ever. You can choose which is more sickening.

        And of course at the end of the novel the author puts in a hypocritical lecture about how they’re just so MUCH better than all this but hey, the fans want it so who are they to argue?

        I stopped reading modern horror novels years ago.

    3. But don’t forget — at the same time that you want the reader to sneer at fat people, skinny people, old people, pimply young people, virgins, and sluts… you are totally body positive. Totally.

    4. They need to be so cool, when they whip off their sunglasses to make the point it reveals a second set of sunglasses.

  4. One of my favorites is creating a caricature of an idea you disagree with and putting it in the mouth of a despicable villain, the slimier the better. While the reader is cheering him getting his just desserts, any cause the villain opposed becomes righteous. The reverse tactic, putting a deadly poisonous notion in the mouth of the heroine is another way to sneak in your indoctrination.

  5. To be frank I gotta say not bad Chad.

    Obviously you can take the boy out of the Bee but you can’t take the Bee out of the boy.

    & here’s a, feel free to use it, lead in, grab the reader, make sure they’ll buy the book now, putting money in your pocket, and not wait for the cheaper secondhand copy from AbeBooks (Not that I, for one, would ever do that, of course.) for your next novel: It was a dark and stormy night when Chad hit her…

  6. I second the cool quotient of all beings named Frank. We constantly wage war on those evil creatures who use “frankly” in sentences thus throwing debris into our ego-surfing of internet forums for mentions of our glorious selfhood. Damn that Rhett Butler!

      1. U dissin’ my brother? Actually, seriously, yes my younger sibling is named Ernest. What can I say? I didn’t name us.

    1. Uh, Uncle Frank in Hellraiser was a total creeper.

      On the other hand, Agent Franks has a cool factor of about 6,000 Fonz.

        1. On the other hand, Agent Franks has LOTS of ‘other hands’. As many as he needs. Also other feet, other lungs, other kidneys…he’s a man of many parts! None of them originally his.
          ———————————
          Twelfth Doctor: “Kidneys! I’ve got new kidneys! I don’t like the color…”

      1. I hated that character so much I quit watching the show.

        “The world wouldn’t be safe without the Bomb!”
        — Howard Cunningham, on “Happy Days”

        1. The Fonz did capture a certain kind of motorhead adrenaline hood, who never did anything really criminal and often was an ally to geeks. Plus the episode where he was convinced he was going to Hell because he accidentally hit on a nun who didn’t wear a habit. (Obviously that was a plot actually set in the 1970’s, but it was very true to life in a lot of ways.)

          OTOH, the actor was annoying, and the overuse of the character was annoying.

  7. Why do you write fiction? That’s easy. If you wrote facts, as evidenced by the news of the day (2020 WOOHOO!) No one would believe a word that you say and your efforts would be dismissed as the ravings of a deranged fabulist. Simple, really.

  8. On the subject of Franks, sans beans I must demyrrh to actual Franks, because i wouldn’t want anyone Frankincensed on my account.

  9. Mr. Fleming, I greatly enjoyed Hellbender and Sidequest. I hope to see more of your writing.

  10. “Why Do People Write Fiction By Frank J. Fleming?”

    Because it is easier than writing fiction by Robert E Howard?

    1. Actually, it is easier to write fiction by Howard because I can find it free online, making it cut & paste instead of retyping.

      1. Admittedly that worked for L. Sprague DeCamp and Lin Carter but it didn’t work very well.

  11. One good trick is to have your heroes struggle nobley, but be defeated unfairly. It demonstrates people can do nothing on their own but must unite collectively for the benefit of one’s class. Bonus if it excuses their violence and other crimes.

    I’ve gotta mention the movie Parasite. Message was pure poison if you think about it for a few minutes, but man that was some effective propaganda. Sad that the left in America has so declined that they have to look to other countries for someone who can tell a story that makes their message palatable.

  12. My latest novel, Superego: Fathom, seems like a fun action-adventure about a psychopathic hitman trying to save the universe,

    You sold it so well I had made the purchase before I saw it was book 2.

  13. Now if only I had writing talent…I’d write a book! Never thought it was that simple!
    Coincidentally, as I started responding, the heavens wept – it is pouring rain outside from bright sunny sky. Nice laughs, thanks.

    1. You take Paw Patrol, and the nation’s toddlers while show you what righteous anger means. They’ll throw a collective tantrum that will make the current riots seem like the peaceful protests the media keeps trying to spin them as.

      Seriously, the kids have suffered enough through the past few months. Do not take their Paw Patrol.

      P.S. The linked article says that “The film Paw Patrol: The Movie should hit theaters in August 20201.” I really hope that’s a typo and not a prediction of how long it will be before we’re allowed to go to movie theaters again.

      1. I have carefully not even STATED the suggestion to my husband.

        FOlks, if you think Zsuzsa is overstating it… nope. Nopey nope nope.

        1. There are plenty of other kids shows that are appropriate pro-cop propaganda for toddlers. *lists a bunch of shows ranging from those for much older children (Robocop the cartoon, that show with the guy with the long extensible handcuff or something) to adult audiences only (Kerberos, the 2012 Judge Dredd)*

          I wonder how young an audience it would be possible to make a Doctor Who/Sherman and Peabody show for about traveling to work with various historical police and military-but-performing-police tasks like the Shinsengumi, the Surete, and the troops of Belisarious and Mundus at Nika?

          1. Gargoyles.

            Eliza Maza is cool.

            *******
            The biggest problem is the adults, honestly. Toddlers like stuff that has complex story lines if they don’t HAVE to understand it, if there’s action and they can get the broad strokes.

            It’s the adults who are flipping out at anything more villainous than a pie to the face that are an issue.

        2. OK, between your comments and the Kix box having enchanted my daughter and this… nonsense, maybe I should try it.

          *rubs head* I am somewhat flummoxed by entertainment material preferences, though. The Hilda cartoon delighted her, but Pooh cartoons are apparently too distressing. Maybe I didn’t read the books to her enough first? (And okay, I can see how the bee chases and being stuck in a door for days and so forth could be alarming! But so could being chased by a troll! Ooh, maybe it bothers her not to have it treated seriously…)

          1. Might also just be “I don’t like this” and being upset is an acceptable way to convey it? (Like somebody here who tells the story about how every shoe “pinched” if the kid didn’t like it.)

            I find it rather obnoxious, but it’s not toxic.
            Just…obnoxious.

            Of course, my kids think that Cells At Work is wonderful and that has a secondary main character that is a justified in-universe death god. (who I adore 😀 Yay, white blood cells!)

            1. Maybe. Perhaps I was too enthusiastic and she felt pressured to like it.

              Cells at Work does sound fascinating. And might go over just fine with her, at that — this is the kid who watched in calm fascination as they took a blood sample from her toe when she was less than a year old. (I guess it didn’t hurt as much as shots. Not that she’s bad about shots, but they get more fuss than that!)

              1. Had the “fun” of one of the older kids trying to scold a toddler for crying about a shot. Ended up correcting her by pointing out that it is having a chunk of metal put into your leg or shoulder, so it sucks. It’s still important, and something to be brave about, but not because it’s nothing– because it does hurt. So we have to learn to be tough.

                1. People who tell their children that a shot won’t hurt, or siilar things are not exactly teaching their children to trust them. I remember when my son was about four and he needed a shot for I forget what. He asked on thw way to the doctor if he was getting a shot, and would it hurt. Told him yes, and it would hurt a bit, but he was still getting it and it would help him. Time came for the shot, he just sat quietly, and, anded afterward asked “That was it?” yes. “Ok” The nurse was amazed.

      2. There’s always reruns. If desperate, perhaps a box set of DVDs. YOU might go crazy from the repeats, but would your toddler?

        The box DVD set was my solution to youtube showing ads I found mildly objectionable during the kid’s favorite show. They’re getting watched again, and again, and again.

        1. Hush up. You’re giving me Blue’s Clues flashbacks. Who is this Wegis guy, and why does he get mail at Steve’s house?

          1. Whenever you get tired of it, you can switch it out for Ghibli movies.

            Actually, a lot of Ghibli movies are a little old for a toddler, but Totoro is on endless replay once they find out that Mom is okay at the end. They have a lot of pretty things to look at, the soundtrack is nice, and the pacing isn’t overly exciting, except at the really exciting parts.

            OTOH, people are going to be disturbed by how much toddlers like Pompoko War, if they accidentally get a look at it. It’s a freaking Kurosawa movie crossed with tanuki and Watership Down! But kids love it! I dunno, maybe those kids’ parents watch a lot of horror. But then again, I never got disturbed by WWII movies my dad watched when I was little, so who knows.

    2. Worse than cancelling it would be their turning puppy policeman into a tool of Marxist propaganda where they make him a villain that is to be condemned by the children watching, including the requisite “two minutes hate” for the reactionary enemies of the glorious revolution.

  14. Serendipidously, the immortal Razorfist also addresses propagandist writing in his latest excoriation of Antifa and it’s commie forebearers.

    1. He’s already done a follow-up:

      Personally, I think it’s the CHAZers’ attempts at cargo cult farming that really drive home how pathetic these people are. At least the original cargo cultists had the excuse of having no way to understand what they were trying to imitate; the CHAZers could have just looked up some gardening 101 tutorials online! It’s bad enough that they treat farming like some kind of magic ritual, but they couldn’t even bother to look up how to do the ritual right despite having the spellbook right there!

      1. Sorry, I misspoke. That’s not a followup to the video you posted; I meant he’s already done one on the new “autonomous zone.”

  15. The Revolution will be LARP’ed.
    Seattle CHAZ zone is out of food, except little old lady came in and passed out Ice cream. Planting bedding plants in a lot that will take 60 -90 days to harvest. I sure hope the pizza parlor doesn’t run out of pies before the end of August. It may be this will peter out with a whimper and not a bang. I just wish Mom would be at the gate with her flyswatter to give each one of them a whippin’ as they leave for home.

    1. I hope that we’re smart enough to let them alone, and let them run their little LARPer utopia into the inevitable Altamont or Fyre Fest.
      Should troops get sent, they will forever pretend that the Ebil Orange Man destroyed paradise just as it was breaking out.

      1. There’s innocents inside of the claimed zone.
        Including businesses which are being shaken down.

        Like these guys would EVER just screw up THEIR OWN area?

        1. Trump has essentially told the governor of Washington, “Fix this, or I will.”

          The problem is that maintaining a stable and civil society is one of the basic functions of government. So as much as I’d like to see these guys whither away ignored and neglected…

          Though I suspect that an awful lot can be accomplished by merely turning off the water supply to the area. Of course, the problem with that is that you’ve still got the people who live in that area, and are caught in the middle of it all.

    2. It’s like a speedrun of Communism. They’re going for fastest time, instead of full completion, otherwise they’d have to take lengthy detours through “menace the world with superweapons”, or “establish an extractive empire.”

  16. I must write fiction because there must be some reality which makes sense, even if I have to create it myself.

      1. That’s the real reason for me too. Nobody except Larry Corriea and Sarah, maybe a couple more are writing the wacky stuff I like. I’m forced to do it myself because they don’t write fast enough to keep me supplied.

  17. We must write fiction because the multiverse needs more universe ideas.

    “Oh, that’s a good one! Hmm, where can we fit that one in…”

  18. This pretty much describes _Atlas Shrugged_ – except for the unaccountable lack of “Chads”. (Though to be fair “Wesley” is pretty much as good as “Chad”.) Also, the long speech was 60 pages long, which was not in any way overdoing it.

    (I must have missed the long speeches by Rico in the two “Superego” books. Hope you’ll do better in #3 which I’m looking forward to ….)

  19. Frank writes for the Bee?

    I’m seriously having fan-girl heart flutters and that never happens.

    Also, this was the funniest dang blog post I’ve read in ages.

        1. I’m a little torn between Chomps and the mysterious figure behind the Rumsfield Strangler Killings.

  20. “For one reason only: It’s a great medium to indoctrinate people with your political views.”

    Right? One of the problems facing Mr. Flemming right now is that no matter how clever he is, and no matter how hilarious a lampoon he makes of the Left (and this one is pretty funny), they are going to one-up him next week.

    A week ago there were jokes about the Prime Minister of Canada taking the knee. Then he did it. While surrounded by armed security no less.

    Right now, that’s the truth of publishing. Even leaving overt politics out of your story is treated as an overt (and offensive!!!) statement by political operatives. There was a famous person in Canadian media fired from her gig yesterday for -not- saying anything about #BLM. She didn’t dis the rioters, she just remained silent.

    It is no longer enough to be quiet. Now you’re either Full-On Loud And Proud Ally or you are The Enemy.

    I think it’s pretty convenient of the Lefties to draw the line like that. It makes identifying all the weak-sisters and prevailing-breeze following wind-sock people so much easier.

    Cue Gilbert and Sullivan!

    “I’ve got a little list,
    I’ve got a little list,
    And they’ll none of them be missed,
    They’ll none of them be missed!”

    1. no matter how clever he is, and no matter how hilarious a lampoon he makes of the Left (and this one is pretty funny), they are going to one-up him next week

      The Right: “Nobody could be so ridiculous!”

      The Left: “Hold my artisanally brewed small batch hand-crafted beer.”

  21. I don’t know for sure if this is real, but social media is reporting what may be the most bizarre sign of the times yet: apparently the Hell’s Angels and the Mongols – two violent, drug-dealing rival biker gangs – just teamed up to run Antifa out of Placerville CA:

    As Kek is my witness, I never DREAMED I’d be cheering on criminal biker gangs.

    1. I seem to recall that a lot of these guys are military veterans?

      I remember my father telling me that the HA wanted to go to Vietnam during the war, but only on the condition that they be permitted to fight ‘their way’. Whether they actually would have gone if Uncle Sam said ‘Okay’ I don’t know.

      1. We may be about to find out how serious they are. Did you catch the part about them heading for Seattle?

      2. The criminal biker gangs use to be a lot of draftees, IIRC; modern, a bit heavier on former military, lots of dishonorables, also IIRC. Non-criminal are very heavily military. Probably goes back to the start of there being enough cheap motorcycles for J. Random Young Man to buy one and go from town to town. (My grandfather and his buddy did that when they were young and single, WWI surplus military motorcycles, roll into town until you got enough money to go to the next place. Easy to see how that could evolve into trouble, eh?)

        From the context it looks like they recognized an enemy criminal organization attempting to take over, and “objected” enough to put aside the turf war. (Which is not unheard of, counter the picture– seriously, is “stop fighting long enough to wipe out the ass who thought they’d get a cheap shot in” really that hard to grasp in normal life? It’s a standard for gangs…because a lot GOT big by getting cheap shots in….)

        Honestly, even I think that probably at least backed by some kind of organized crime, and my standards for suspicion are a lot higher than a biker gang’s.

        Assuming there’s any truth to it at all, anyways.

        1. >> “Assuming there’s any truth to it at all, anyways.”

          I have to admit; this is giving me “too awesome to be true” vibes. Is the Seattle problem seriously going to be resolved by a bunch of outlaw bikers rolling in to the Autonomous Zone, driving out Antifa and BLM and then riding off into the sunset? It’s not impossible, but it sounds like something out of a comic book!

          And even if it’s real I doubt the biker gangs will be as concerned with collateral damage as government forces would be, so I could see this being a bad thing. Though maybe the insurgents will just piss themselves and run before it becomes a problem.

          Still, I admit there’s a part of me thinking:

          1. I would much rather see the Seattle ‘Autonomous’ zone collapse on its own, demonstrating once again that you can’t run an economy by taking everything from everybody. I want them to create their own communist hell and drown in it for all the world to see, until they are forced to either flee from their failure or beg for help from us Evil Capitalists.

            But wait, they’re already begging, aren’t they? “WAAAAAAH!!! The homeless took all the food! Nobody is supposed to take OUR stuff; WE’RE supposed to take THEIRS! It’s not FAIR!!”

            On the other hand, ‘twould be most entertaining to hear them cry for the police to protect them from the Hells Angels. And get the answer, “You wanted to be Autonomous, that means you have to provide your own defense. You can’t be Europe.”

            1. >> “I would much rather see the Seattle ‘Autonomous’ zone collapse on its own”

              Yeah, that was my first reaction as well. But there are innocent U.S. citizens in there.

              Which raises a question: I know CHAZ immediately established a border and has kept people out, but are the people already inside being allowed to leave?

              1. They are probably allowing people to live, since they haven’t been arrested for kidnapping yet… of course, you can only leave with what you can carry past the armed ‘guards,’ and pray that they didn’t notice which building you came out of.

              2. If it collapses on its own it will be because of America’s Systemic Racism and oppressive Capitalist System. For “reasons” TBD.

                You know when these things fail it is never because of their inherent contradictions, it is always because evil others cannot stand seeing people’s dreams fulfilled.

                Or maybe because of the Evil Eye — that used to be the go-to explanation.

                1. Yeah, the True Believers won’t learn a damned thing. But people who still have more blood than Kool-Aid in their system can be brought around, and there are a lot of them. I understand that the left isn’t even trying the “You don’t need a gun” crap anymore, for example; even if nothing else good comes from this we might be about to see gun-free zones go the way of the dodo.

                  1. What have you been smoking? Leftists are perfectly capable of hiding behind walls and armed guards while proclaiming that us Deplorables should not have guns or borders.

                    They don’t have to explain why ‘the inherent violence of gun culture’ is almost entirely expressed in those places where they have been most successful at suppressing it.

                    They blame ‘white supremacists’ for the appalling number of black people murdered by other black people.

                    When a black cop shoots a black criminal in a black neighborhood, the black Chief Of Police calls it justified, the black District Attorney declines to prosecute, and the black Mayor doesn’t overrule them, it’s because of ‘institutional racism’ from ‘white conservatives’ in a city that has been ruled by hard-left Democrats for decades.

                    They have made themselves the masters of seeing that which does not exist, while becoming blind to the obvious.
                    ———————————
                    How is it that dead Democrats vote more reliably than the live ones?

  22. Had the most horrible nightmare. It was Election Day, and Queen Hillary was getting 2/3 of the vote after promising to make all these stupid plague regulations into permanent federal laws. All the pro-plague Democrat congresscritters were winning big too.

    Fortunately, I woke up and the world has not gone batshit crazy.

    Yet.

    But it’s early.

    1. Had the most horrible nightmare. It was Election Day, and Queen Hillary was getting 2/3 of the vote after promising to make all these stupid plague regulations into permanent federal laws. All the pro-plague Democrat congresscritters were winning big too.


      What! Are you trying to spread the nightmare? Gezzzzz.

    2. I suppose you’ve not seen Biden Advisor Ezekiel Emanuel’s warning:

      Ezekiel Emanuel Warns Trump Could Rush Vaccine as ‘October Surprise’’
      The warning referenced appeared on the Y Times opinion page, cautioning

      An emergency authorization would allow Mr. Trump to hold his news conference and declare victory. But like President George W. Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” proclamation, it has the potential to be a travesty. Millions of vaccines could be distributed without proof that the vaccine can prevent disease or transmission.

      So if Trump delays release of a vaccine to await full testing for efficacy and safety, that would be “prolonging America’s suffering” while if he releases it it would constitute a “campaign stunt.” If he releases it without a news conference that would be “dodging responsibility” on a risky vaccine.”

      Zeke, you will recall, was previously notable for helping implement Obamacare and for opining that people have a civic duty to terminate themselves at seventy-five.

      Biden, of course, is fretting that Trump would commit ballot fraud and refuse to leave the White House in the event of a Biden win.

      If they’re this hysterical in June, how nutty will they be in September?

      1. “I am not a doctor. We have the world’s best doctors working on a vaccine, and I can’t tell them how to do it or how long it should take. My advice for all of you is to take their advice. That’s what I’m doing.”


        Naaah, makes too much sense. That would never fly in politics.

        Yesterday I had to correct somebody else when she claimed that face masks are required by law. I will have to be more specific about it from now on.

        “That’s a lie!”

        “But, but…”

        “I don’t know if you are lying, or just repeating somebody else’s lies, but either way it’s still a lie. It was a decree from the governor, and it was unconstitutional. America is not ruled by decrees, and there is no Enabling Act. If you wonder what that is, go look up Enabling Act of 1933. If you look it up yourself, you might pay attention.”
        ———————————
        Most days, I suspect that we could get a better government by picking 535 people at random. On bad days, I’m certain we’d get a better government by picking 535 people at random from lunatic asylums.

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