As most of you know I’m buried under a book deadline, and having asthma attacks that pretty much knock me flat.
I know why and they’re tied to anxiety about family members, some of them health related. But that doesn’t diminish the stress.
And yet there are golden moments.
What are golden moments? When you get older, and have lived enough, you find most of your memories slide into this kind of haze “this type of day” is much like another type of day. Unless you’re ten (and even then) if I ask you what you did on Thursday last week, you’re likely to get a blank.
Golden moments are the times you remember, the ones that stand out. They’re not always what you’d expect, and they’re often not something that would work for anyone else.
My most obvious one, that comes to mind before even receiving the Prometheus, is the day we discovered Lakeside amusement park. For those not in the area, it’s a seedy amusement park. Some days, if they dropped a bomb in that killed all those who spoke Spanish as a primary language, only my family would be left alive.
But it’s perfect for us, because I hate most rides. (Inner ear is wonky. Being spun or shaken makes me deeply uncomfortable. I don’t pay to be uncomfortable.) We often had a coupon to get in free, the kids and Dan would get all day passes to the rides (the last time we went some years ago it was $15, but when we started going I think it was $7) And I got $2 worth of tickets to the merry go round and the train, which we did at the end of the day.
That first time we discovered the park — because I watched a documentary on the wooden roller coaster — it was all magical. it was a perfect day, just warm enough. The boys were five and two. They’d never been to an amusement park. We stayed there till ten pm and then had late dinner. I’ll always remember that day, and the way the kids laughed (they still had baby-laugh.)
Another is when I was very depressed and Dan told me to get my coat, and we drove (then an hour and a half) for a walk in City Park. It was unexpected, it was fun, it was very romantic.
The other was this week, when Dan said “Are you making a great deal of headway?”
I said, no. He said “Come on.” So we went out in his convertible (older than the boys, I think.) And we went out for a walk by the lake and a light dinner (appetizers and salad. ) The sun was up, the day was warm, and I was with my love. That too is a golden moment.
Today is a rather difficult day, as I had an asthma attack this morning, and I’m trying to clean and work at the same time, which is like juggling chainsaws. But we had a nice leisurely brunch together, and well… it might still turn out to be a golden moment.
This last week made me all too aware that not only time passes, but that we never know how much we have. I don’t know if there’s eternity, but I have a gut feeling there is. Surely the golden moments go with us.
Go make your own.