Enough

This morning over breakfast I was thinking of what used to be considered enough.  (Not enough food, I had two poached eggs for breakfast, something that would have been un imagined luxury some days of my childhood.  You see, when the chickens weren’t laying much, an egg and some rice might be dinner and certainly not every day.  Of course, when they were laying and we had a few who did two eggs a day, grandma would be begging us to eat eggs.  The problem of self-sufficiency at least in places with no refrigeration is that it’s often feast-or-famine.)

I was thinking that, along with being possibly the most wealthy/pampered generation in history we’re also the most demanding.  On ourselves, on life, on those around us.

(Look guys we’ve been broke.  We had a year we were so broke we NEEDED those donations the fire department makes for the holidays, which reminds me, the snow interrupted me, I need to make a big canned food shopping trip and take it to the Manitou Springs fire department.  BUT by historical standards, I was magnificently rich.  We could eat at least one meal a day, I had heat and light and plenty of water.  Oh, and books and entertainment at the flick of a button.  Rich.)

Specifically, as the 30th anniversary of our religious anniversary looms, and Dan wants to go away for a writing vacation for three days, (and I’m afraid people will die during it, again), I was thinking of how our marriage has been for thirty years.

Overall, it’s been d*mn nice, with occasional episodes of grumpiness (right now mine over finding/buying a house.)  And then I thought by the standards of the village — the standards I heard my mom and her freinds judge marriages on — we’re a frigging miracle and fortunate beyond all hope.

As with everything else that’s a transition/change, 2015 was rife with divorce in my extended friend circle, and it seem like almost all of them got divorced because “he doesn’t make me happy” and “she doesn’t fulfill me.” A tall order.

In the village a successful marriage was as follows: he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t beat her, she doesn’t sleep around and she manages the house and keeps the kids clean.

Were some marriages hell on Earth?  Sure, from the outside some looked like it, but you now what, sometimes you got these rare glimpses from the inside and realized these people were crazy but in a way they were happy too.  Okay, a crazy way.  But you know, looking around now at my friends who have marriages I don’t get and which TO ME would be hell on Earth, it’s not markedly different, even though everyone seems to demand so much more of marriage these days: a lot more beyond companionship, mutual support and not doing bad things that affect the other.  (Yes, I know, some of you got divorced on that last clause, and that I totally get.)

But it’s not just marriages that are affected.  It’s like because of mass media, those of us who tend to be driven have these impossible images of what “success” is.

Oh, it’s not just the media, mind, though it doesn’t help.  Some people always expected a lot of their close relatives.

At one point my mother was complaining to a friend that I never won most of the writing contests I entered (thinking on it, there was a political color bar, of course) and how my brother only won poetry contests that didn’t pay, and her friend told her “Think about it, woman, what are you complaining about.  They aren’t on drugs, they aren’t bringing you home illegitimate children, they pass their schooling with As or Bs, and they’ve never been arrested.  You should be thanking G-d instead of griping.”

Now, I’m the last to encourage low expectations.  (Ask my kids. I know what they’re capable of, and won’t be happy with being fobbed off with a token effort.)

However as I was thinking of that overheard conversation and of the definition of a happy marriage in the village, I realized I’m holding myself to a crazy-impossible standard.  You know, EVERYONE is supposed to be buying my stories.  I should be bigger than J. K. Rowling.  I should be writing a lot better and a lot faster.  I should be losing weight (well, that part… eventually we’ll figure out why it isn’t happening and I’m inexplicably gaining.  BUT… It doesn’t seem anything I can do.)  Dan and I should look like those Hollywood couples, and have everything and never snap at each other…

And I realized it’s not sane.  It’s not happy-making.  Not that I ever contemplated divorcing out of dissatisfaction, or that I’m dissatisfied, but mostly I’ve been very upset at myself.

I’m not one to encourage low expectations.  But sometimes knowing what the passing grade is makes you realize you already have an A, and stops you driving yourself crazy.

This holiday season give yourself and those you love permission to be less than perfect.  And celebrate what you have.

 

134 responses to “Enough

  1. Seriously, the reason we do so much is that we are driven. On the other hand I am trying to learn to be happy with where I am now. My late-hubby was one of those who tried to show me how to be happy in adversity. Now I have to do it without him. Even so– I am trying to learn gratitude… At this time I have a roof over my head, I have a computer to write on, I have yarn so I can knit and crochet. I eat good food and can pay for my medications. In other circles I am rich.

  2. You remind me that this year brought both joy and pain, and I do need to remember that I am no longer stuck with “never enough” http://cedarwrites.com/it-was-never-enough/

  3. Like everyone, I will mention ‘cut carbs’, ‘see a thyroid doctor’, and ‘add omega-3’ for to put on the list of things I’m sure you’ve already tried as for losing weight.

    • I cut carbs 5 years ago. Drastically. Have to because they trigger whole-body eczema. Did zero for weight. Dealing with Thyroid. Omega 3 now and then.

      • A measurably-diagnosed thyroid problem will make all other weight-loss issues moot. So if you are working on that, that is the first thing to work on.

        The next thing to do is a full week-long food diary, fully measured, weighted, and portioned. That’s the sticking point a lot of people hit.

        • I lost a lot of weight this summer – because I got a fast-paced job that made me walk and run around like a maniac, because I often walked home from work while carrying a bag that was pretty heavy, and maybe because I was eating a lot of pickles and kimchi and other fermented foods (low carb ones, although also drinking alive beer seems to help me lose weight; kefir and yogurt, not so much). I think it’s true that it does reset your gut bugs, because I went from not being able to lose weight even when I did a lot of work, to having a change of both appetite and ability to lose weight. So maybe you need more sauerkraut and dill pickles in your diet?

          Oh, also I should note that I started taking a LOT of B-vitamin mix vitamins. Not more than the recommended daily allowance, but I would have one during each of my breaks at work. I think that’s what revved my metabolism to be able to not die during all that sudden weight loss, muscle building, and workload.

        • Heh, I actually did a food diary that was down to the point of how many jelly beans I had. (Didn’t weigh things, but I was even counting the calories for coffee– my main goal was to see what nutrients I was missing.) Found out I was eating a lot less than I thought. Was also when I figured out that the facts didn’t matter when someone had decided that you just need to eat less to lose weight. :/

          • Yeah. That’s what I find every time I do a food diary. It was the only way to convince my doctor to test me for pre-eclampsia, the first time I did it. AFTER accusing me of lying about what I ate (I was gaining ten pounds a week, most of it water) she found that I only had low blood pressure IN GENERAL. For ME it was sky-high. And yep, I had pre-eclampsia.

          • When I am on prednisone, I gain weight no matter how little I eat. I was never a big eater (I like good food)… but I really don’t eat that many simple carbs or sugar treats — except around this season because Peppermint chocolate. 😉

            • Oh lawsy. The vet gave Athena T Cat a prednisone shot ONCE. It was like living with Jaws! Trying to maneuver away from her teeth fast enough to get food into her bowl, or to give her a treat without losing a hand . . . Never, ever again. Ever.

    • My resolution last year was to get down to 250 lbs and stay there for at least 6 months of the year. I failed miserably, even though I was hiking or running almost every day for the first half of the year. Then I got a gym membership and started lifting weights, and I immediately started shedding the pounds.

      Maybe you’re built more like me, and that’s the issue? Dunno.

    • There’s a direct correlation between both amount of sleep and poor quality sleep with weight gain. And contrariwise, improving the amount and quality of sleep results in weight loss. (https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/obesity-and-sleep) I demonstrated this when a health problem caused chronic fatigue, which led to a 25 lb. weight gain over a decade, followed by treatment for sleep issues without fixing the under.ying health problem, which resulted in losing almost all of it in a few months with no diet or exercise changes on my part.

      If you don’t have time/money to do a sleep lab study — it’s covered by some insurance policies these days, but last I looked costs about $2,000 if you have to pay out of pocket — there are smart phone apps and FitBit-type devices that do a reasonable job of tracking body movement as a facsimile for sleep stages and length. I use the free Sleep Cycle app by Northcube on my iPhone; I believe there is now a version for Android, and one can pay for the premium version’s bells and whistles.

  4. Yep, – STILL not King…

  5. A long time ago I read an article that proposed the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s was in part driven by “Leave It To Beaver”.

    People say Ward, June, Wally and the Beav and thought “Is that the way life is supposed to work? Why can’t I have that?”

    Now, the aphorisms:

    Examples can lead to both good and bad places.

    Perfection is the enemy of good enough.

    Perspective is the most valuable gift in life. It shows you that sometimes the intolerable isn’t, but the tolerable may not be either.

  6. An awful lot of what we see through the lens of the Media conditions us to ridiculous expectations. I once read an article which looked at the housing of Manhattanites as presented on screen. Go back an look at the first Superman movie, with Christopher Reeves and Margot Kidder, and look at the apartment Lois Lane lives in. There is no freakin’ way a newspaper reporter, even a star like Lois, affords that apartment. Heck, tune in Castle and look at his apartment; even with rent control that place costs a ton of dough, more than he is likely to have made even as a “best-selling” author of Thrillers.

    But we tend to forget that, because we don’t know Manhattan real estate, because it is presented largely without question and because seeing is believing.

    Now extend this to the overall perception of reality absorbed through the media and forming the background of our zeitgeist.

    • Go back an look at the first Superman movie, with Christopher Reeves and Margot Kidder, and look at the apartment Lois Lane lives in.

      Some of the bathrooms people have in TV shows and movies look like they could be almost as big as my apartment.

      • Never mind that… how on earth do all these secret agents/bank robbers/sooper detectives always find PARKING??? I mean, they see open spots right next to wherever they need to be!

      • Some of the bathrooms people have in TV shows and movies look like they could be almost as big as my apartment.

        They have to be that big. There has to be room for the camera and sound crew!

        Kidding aside, I’ve been through some model homes where the bathroom was roughly the size of my bedroom as a teenager. The shower-stall only made sense of the whole family showered together.

        • When I was still doing the furniture assembly thing, I got to see some houses with those mega-bathrooms. Some go to the point where they ran out of things to fill the space, so forgetting the his and hers jetted bathtubs, they even had free-standing bidets.

      • I guess it had to be big enough to get a TV camera in 😉

    • It’s not just depictions of Manhattan in the Evulll Alphabet Salad Media. I was watching some Hallmark Christmas movies, all set in small towns, and the homes were all Bigger On The Inside. Not to mention the opulent furnishings and perfectionized decor. Speaking as someone who has lived in 7 different places (ranging from large town to major cities) in 4 different states as a married adult, nobody whose home I ever visited lived like that – with the possible exception of a big-city real estate developer I knew slightly. We should all have tattoos saying The Media Lie. Or something.

    • Heh. Castle I can buy, he is supposed to be a millionaire, and perhaps he has also invested the money he has gotten from those bestselling novels wisely. But the detective who became his wife had a pretty big place before they got together too. And Lois Lane in that old Superman movie – it looked kind of like a penthouse, with a huge balcony, so unless she was also a heiress… yep. And I think the women in “Sex and the City” have been mentioned more than a few times in this context when that series became a success. (And I never watched it, but did read articles about it from time to time. Mostly because I was interested in the clothes and shoes. Don’t wear that kind of stuff, due to both money and my weight, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to if I had the money to buy luxury goods on top of keeping a more sensible wardrobe, while I like that kind of stuff I would not care to dress like that all the time. How the hell could they afford those too, especially Carrie? Writing a column pays that much? Yep, in a fantasy…).

      Of course these characters can also always find a parking spot exactly where they need it, should be a bit of a clue as to how realistic all of it is. 😀 But yes, seeing it constantly does easily leave people with subconscious expectations even if on the surface we can get it.

      • NYC also has a *rent control” law. If Beckett got her apt. as a rookie, she would still be paying the *same* rent.

        • Well, the first place maybe, but it got blowed up, so she found the trendy converted child slave labor locale before she moved in with Rick.

      • I just assumed rent control and family connections. Remember, they’ve established he’s from a Hamptons-crowd family (he has a house there, and he almost married a society girl (remember Alyssa Milano’s guest shot?) whose mother considered him a ne’er-do-well). So–rich writer from old money–he might have spent more on fixing the place up than getting it in the first place…

    • Several years ago (probably more than 20 years), one of the girls who grew up next door to us said that she and four other Flight Attendants shared one small two-bedroom apartment in New York, so they could afford it.

      • At least in Japan you can rent your own private sleeping tube…

      • Flight attendants do this a lot. Especially when they’re starting out, they are never home, so it makes sense to double, triple, or even quadruple or more up on a small apartment. The flights that don’t get you home to your family by the end of the day are the ones that get handed off to the low-seniority newcomers. So they’ll end up going not just on overnights to Chicago, New York City or Hawaii (depending on where they’re stationed), but on a four-day line to Los Angeles, Mexico, San Francisco, and then back home on the fourth day.

        Then a day or two off and back in the air.

    • Apparently it’s already been gamed out. Assuming that he was wildly successful and could put $200,000 down on a 1.5-2 million loft in say 1998, not impossible if he had been a megabucks author for the what, 3-4 years already in show, he would have easily been able to afford the loan for it.
      http://www.bankrate.com/lite/real-estate/what-tv-homes-cost-in-real-life-3.aspx

    • Consider most of the apartments you see in ’30s movies, not to mention the houses and mansions! Consider the cabin the Marx Bros. had on that ocean liner.

    • Location, location, location. Our house in Dallas would have been considered a palace in much of the world — and it cost less than half what our “just nice” apartment in a Tel Aviv suburb cost (1/3 the size, no garden). The same apartment in Manhattan would probably cost 10x as much. The same house in even, say, Queens would have cost a fortune.
      Not that I am complaining — there are enough compensations…

  7. As for marriages, it is useful to remember that loving the one to whom you’re mated is a relatively modern idea and, frankly, very unnatural if not a trifle perverse.


    It sorta depends on how you define “Love”, don’t it?

    • One of the more mind-numbing episodes of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” also had one of the best scenes in the entire series. Season 3, episode 8, about 37 minutes in.

      All of the couples are having relaaaayshipship issues. They’re all bummed. Even the pet goldfish are bummed.

      Spike is observing Buffy and Angel, who are bummed, and then notes:

      “You know, I’ve been all wrong-headed about this. Moaning, crying. If I want Dru back, I have to be the kind of man I was. So I’m going to find her – wherever she is – tie her up, and beat her until she likes me again. [pause] Love is a funny thing.” And then he goes off on his new mission.

      Spike has a plan. It’s a demented Spike plan, but at least he’s *doing* something about his problem instead of just hanging around whining like everyone else…

  8. Reality Observer

    Ah, the last bit, the weight gain and writing. I decided many years ago (and have mostly managed to hold to it), that I would only be dissatisfied with “not enough” from myself alone. This has had me out of sorts for the last few days, actually. Yep, I push my kids too to be their best – but they are not me, so if they are not what I think they should be, well – they are not me.

    I’m only on the very far fringe of “friend” (and privileged to be there, mind you). I do guarantee to not die when you take a writing break, though – the plan still has 44 years, 2 months, and 6 days left…

  9. Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard

    A little off topic, but thinking about “interesting” reasons for divorce, I thought of Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman.

    Dr. Quinn all-but-adopted a bunch of kids who’s father (mother was dead) had left them to “find himself”.

    I thought it was a stupid reason to desert your own children but made worse because of “when” the series was set it would not be acceptable then.

    Oh, IIRC the dirty-bastard returned and tried to take his children away from Dr. Quinn.

    I suspect in that time and place, the Law would have been on Dr. Quinn’s side.

    • It would be interesting to see how the stats turn out for “abandonment” back in the day when divorce was extremely rare. My personal guess is there is a percentage of people who just can’t stay committed for whatever reason, and when divorce isn’t available running off is. And there were women who abandoned their families, too.

      • I was astonished to see how many people in my family tree had been divrced back along the American frontier. One ancestress of mine appears to have been purposely trying to scramble future generations’ geneology research by marrying five different and unrelated fellows across the period of the US civil war, and was apparently engaged to #6 when she died unexpectedly in her late 40s.

        • No records of divorce in my family tree (except for my parents) stretching back 10 generations. Men and women both remarried, usually pretty quickly, none of this year long mourning stuff, after their spouse died. But on one line I have a g-grandfather who apparently left his wife behind in another state, and on a census form and his gravestone it says he’s a widow. She died 6 years after him. And his father apparently got remarried without bothering with the divorce part. Finally sorted through some very confusing census forms and gravestones to figure that out.

          And then, I got really confused when I found an English family tree that had a husband and wife, and the husband’s data matched exactly the data on a husband on my family tree in Nova Scotia back in the late 1600’s early 1700’s. Figured that one out also. He was a ship’s captain; had two families, one in England, one in Nova Scotia. And never the twain did meet. Got me wondering as to just how common that was- and I don’t have an answer. But if it happened once- it probably happened more then once. Not much chance back then of the two families accidently running into each other or communicating.

          But there’s another thing too. No DNA testing back then. When tracing back, we’re all assuming loyal and trustworthy female spouses.

          • My brother and sister, and my father before he died, SWEAR that my grandfather never had a family before he got married to my grandmother when he was 40.

            Knowing my family, if it’s actually true (I’m not sold on it) that he married for the first time at the age of 40, then I’m guessing I have are more than a few relatives that will only turn up if they happen to get DNA tested.

            • In the old days, a lot of men and women did marry very late, mostly because they didn’t have the money to settle down or court anybody; sometimes because they didn’t have the opportunity or the time to do anything but work. A lot of older siblings in families were sending home most of their money to the family or signing over their paychecks, either to help support the younger kids, or out of filial duty to their parents. Sometimes, as with domestic service or the military, women and men had to go through a full career before they could consider marrying and having kids.

              Of course, it made a difference for women as to whether women in an area tended to be able to bear kids (and survive) into their forties or even later.

              So yeah, even with a personality that was interested, a lot of people married late; and they didn’t do much sowing of wild oats earlier, either. They were just too busy.

              • During the Roman Republic, men of the patrician classes didn’t settle down and marry until their military duties were fulfilled, generally in their mid-thirties. Patrician girls, on the other hand, were getting married in their mid-to-late teens.

          • Reality Observer

            Sometimes they’re not any “bad” things that confuse it. My mom (the genealogist of the family) was helping another woman who was quite sure, and extremely horrified, that there had to be someone in the woodpile. They could not reconcile the birth date of one of her ancestresses, the death date of husband #1, and the marriage date of husband #2 (who could not, by Union Army records, not been anywhere close when the child in question was conceived).

            Finally, they managed to get to the birth records from the woman’s church at the time (which fortunately existed). Yes, the ancestress was born out of wedlock – but not to the “mother.” She was adopted as a baby from the actual mother, and never treated as anything but the natural child. (Amazing that it never got out, though. The place was probably about the size of Sarah’s Porto.)

            The modern descendant thought for a while – then decided to keep following up the lines of the people that adopted the child. They were the real parents, to her. At that remove, she wasn’t trying to identify possible family genetic problems anyway.

            • I had (both died in their mid 90s) two spinster aunts. Except they were not genetically related to any of us. Their parents were friends of my father’s g-grandfather, and when the parents and two other siblings died in the Influenza of 1918, Clan Red just took the sisters in and raised them as part of the mob. No one said anything about it, and one of them was the Red family geneologist.

              If you are a Hispano from NM, you probably have gift children in the family. Alas that the modern system makes such reasonable and practical solutions nigh unto impossible.

            • Adoption can make things interesting.

              I was raised as an only child by my adoptive parents. However, I have two 1/2 siblings (one each sister and brother) by my adopted mother (my sister was out of the house and on her own and my brother was living with his father, my mom’s ex-husband, by the time I showed up), a full sister by my biological parents (who got “misplaced” by CPS after our mom abandoned us and was adopted by a different family), a 1/2 brother from my biological father and my (then) under-aged babysitter (which was a violation of his probation and caused him to be a guest of State of Arizona when bio-mom ran off. The babysitter’s mom hated my bio-dad so much that she force the babysitter to put the child up for adoption — in Argentina), and a 1/2 sister by my biological father and his wife whom he married after the divorce was finalized and he got out of jail. And I and my sister recently found out that our bio-mom gave us another three 1/2 sibs that we’ve never met.

              Which means I’m the baby (from mom), the oldest (from the biologicals) and the only child (from dad, and the practical standpoint). Also my bio-dad was the baby brother to my mom, which is why I know so many of the gory details.

          • I’m unaware of any divorce in my family prior to my generation, but with respect to DNA testing, my dad did genealogy for a while. As I recall, the records weren’t clear, but I may have a downstairs maid in my ancestry.

      • I don’t know about stats, but I do remember the big to-do about that bastard who abandoned his wife and kids, got declared dead, she raised the kids with some of his social security death benefit… then when he turned retirement age, he shows up and sues her to force her to pay it back, so he can draw out retirement. After working under the table since he abandoned them.

        It made headlines as him being declared dead while standing there alive, but they also had some folks whining about how people being declared legally dead at all was a horrible old-fashioned sort of thing, with a bit of history.

        I do remember that in some states, women could kick the men out of the house if they weren’t providing basic support. (some of the definitions are amusing, from this time and place)

        • Vigilantes were known to flog men for failure to support their families.

          • Free-range Oyster

            You work your butt off and can’t catch a break? I’ll split my family’s bread with you, help however I can. If you won’t even try, or you sit around waiting for the perfect thing, or for someone to rescue you… you’re a shameful scoundrel and a contemptible cad. I wouldn’t go to flogging – makes it that much harder to get any useful labor out of an already lazy man – but he’d have no scrap from my table, though his children might.

            • THIS! Some of my students think I’m a hard case *polishes claws on chest fur* Some think I’m one of the most generous teachers in the building. Guess which ones work as hard as they can and then come ask for help?

  10. Enough is as good as a feast.

    I think that’s one of the copybook headings.

  11. “Hear, hear!” Manuel said. ‘Less than perfect.’ What I’ve been striving for all my life.”

    “Mannie,” Wyoh said soberly, “you’ve achieved it.”

    But seriously, folks, this might have been the wisest thing Ben Franklin, that devious old philanderer, ever said:

    “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

  12. C4C

  13. I was starting to get tied in knots this AM because I still have not gotten cards sent out yet (except for Hanukkah). And I have research to read, and stories to work on, and only one week before I have to go back to doing school prep work. And then I stopped. Took a deep breath. None of it HAS to get done. No one is going to suffer a terrible fate if a card arrives between Christmas and Epiphany. The stories will come when they are ready.

    I overheard an associate wondering why so-and-so had “settled” for her husband (of 30+ years) rather than waiting for the perfect man. I think the question answered itself.

    • We send Groundhog’s Day cards for just this reason; there is enough to do around the holidays. It could be considered cover-art practice, too: It’s my annual attempt to use Photoshop (Gimp, actually).

    • Anonymous Coward

      Remember that the deep breaths are for AFTER Christmas activities as well. Our family tradition is that Xmas decorations simply MUST be taken down before Valentine’s Day. Well, except for the year when we moved that to St. Patrick’s Day …

    • I’ll put something up on FB and declare that my christmas card– *sigh I just don’t do it anymore– I used to love to do it… kind of a year in review. Needless to say my years are more to do with surviving and writing.

    • I usually wait until after Christmas Day to do my cards, though most of our friends & relatives do them during Advent. I figure I have the Christmas season in which to get them out.

  14. This is part of the joy of owning a cat (or dog). Every now and then, I’m still struck by the way one member of the household manages to completely ignore any stress, deadlines, or running arguments, and emote in every fiber and fur of their little body “I don’t care what’s going on in your head; I’ve got a fuzzy blanket and a sunbeam. Life is PERFECT.”

    It’s hard to argue that life is not perfect with a secondhand cat who has a fleece blanket and a sunbeam, a warm house and a full belly.

    • Unless you’re eating, and they’re not. Then it’s the sad eyes.

      • Once a dog was beg, beg, beg while I ate blueberries. One slipped. pounce followed by ewww, followed by — return to begging.

      • Or the high handed demand that Royalty be given a proper tribute- the position of the feline who shares my house.

    • The world’s fluffiest starving to death housecat (who went to the cat spa today and is still damp) disagrees. The world is a terrible place, she is dreadfully abused and neglected, her dignity has been compromised, and there is no tinned tuna in her dish. Life SUXZ!!
      Or so I am being told.

      • You mean, mean person you. 🙂

      • Her K9 cousin at my house would definitely agree, since there’s people food he hasn’t been fed yet. He’s starved!, Starved, I say.

      • Turn around from the desk in mid-supplication of the Muse and find three cats stock still in perfect formation (they line up be height) staring at you without blinking. (The fourth is sitting on the bathroom sink three room away loudly knocking one item off at a time.) Yes, it seems to be dinner time.

        • I noticed our various cats uniformly appreciated the onset of Daylight Savings Time, with the clocks (and mealtimes) moved an hour forward and only very very very reluctantly agreed to its ending, with the clocks (and mealtimes) moved back an hour.

    • SheSellsSeashells

      Exactly! I’m only half joking when I say that Fat Cat, our Maine Coon who was 30 pounds at his biggest, got me through serious depression by being so dumb that he was able to absorb all my Sad without actually perceiving it. 🙂

  15. I’m unworthy.

  16. BobtheRegisterredFool

    PPP is trying to pretend that wanting to bomb Agrabah isn’t a reasonable course of action.

    I hated the movie Aladdin. As a result, I dislike Disney, and would not be overly troubled if they were to go out of business.

    Furthermore, as clearly shown in the Aladdin animated tv show, Agrabah’s support for international terrorism deeply conflicts with American interests. (We should instead be making the guy with the skeleton hand our regional partner.)

    • Mozenrath? Bah, I’d rather team up with the evil cat goddess, Mirage.

      • BobtheRegisterredFool

        He’d probably be willing to kill communists. The only other villain from that show I could remember was Mechanakles, and skeleton hand was more compact than bronzepunk mecha psycho.

      • BobtheRegisterredFool

        Plus, they introduced Mozenrath as the ruler of his own necropolis. There may have been a better candidate in the show for a rival nation state, but I’ve slept since then.

    • (I’m also rather peeved that all the other Disney Afternoon shows are available on DVD, but not Aladdin.)

  17. I know I am lucky. Fortunate beyond all dreams of average, even. *grin* Y’all know about the little house up the valley my greats built, the one we visit every year (I swear, it’s like we’re Catholic or something).

    When I was littlest, well, about as small as I remember being, I didn’t much like the place. The outhouse was way over there away from the house! The water tasted funny. The rain on the tin roof was too noisy, and there were no flat spots anywhere to play in (slightly exaggerated, but only just).

    The neighboring place, also relatives, was more ordinary. Shack about as big as my bedroom, one room, dirt floor (tree growing in it we keep having to evict), all in all less of everything. What flat spots there were, they all ran downhill. They were the sides of hills, that is, not level like you could put a table on.

    I went to college, I rented a room even smaller than that. Shared bathroom, tiny little one-burner (not a true stove) to heat food on. Took me three years to afford a parking spot. I had days I went hungry or ate noodles or rice if I could afford that. But I got educated and didn’t get *too* far in debt.

    And today, I have friends to speak to across the whole of the world. Books by the thousand fit in my back pocket. If bad luck comes my way, it’ll have to be perilous bad afore a burden to my fellow man I’ll be. While there’s not often a warm sunbeam to be found after a long day’s work, there’s warm fluffy blankets after a hot hot shower, a tasty meal of olive oil baked chicken with sauteed veggies and rice, and at least today, a whole twelve hours before I’ve got to get crackin’ again. Life may not be perfect, but it can be pretty darned good!

  18. Reading in a rush, today – but: I remember a speech about attitudes, etc., in which it was pointed out that we have needs, wants, and whims – and persist in classifying wants as needs, and whims as wants, thereby creating most of our dissatisfaction ourselves.

  19. It’s funny, my standard for a relationship has always been pretty low: Treat me nice.
    That’s all I ever wanted, was just to be treated nice.
    Surprisingly, so far only one person out of the many I’ve gone out with or lived with over the years has been able to meet that standard. Probably why I’m still with them after 20 years.

  20. For those of you who’ve not run across http://www.gocomics.com/ten-cats/ , I recommend it for the cat GIFs and still pix and cute captions. I’m a dog guy, but grew up with cats (and a dog). It’s a visual upper.

  21. richardmcenroe

    Saw Star Wars. Did. Not. Suck. But there will come a point in the movie where you lean over to whoever you brought or brung ya and whisper, “Five points for Slitherin.”

  22. On the thyroid thing… just because the doctor’s say anything under 5 is normal, doesn’t mean it’s okay. Acceptable range does not mean optimal health. Now, ask me what fight I’ve been fighting *this* week.

  23. Pingback: Why Does Love Got to Be So Sad? - BabyTrollBlogBabyTrollBlog

  24. Apropos of nothing at all, a marsh hawk just finished eating a dove in the backyard at Redquarters. Peace on earth, all of nature in harmony, lion and lamb together, oops.

    • Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard

      The Lion may lie down with the Lamb, but the Lamb isn’t going to get much sleep. [Wink]

    • Aa nice juicy squab, Who could pass that up? Any how Peace on Earth an Good will Towards men, nothing about doves…


  25. “… but this is the life you have…”

  26. Quoting Voltaire here: “le meilleur est l’ennemi du bien”. (Idiomatically: ‘the best’ is the enemy of ‘good enough’)