Sorry This Is So Late

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

We had a house closing this morning.  The new owners of our former home seem quite nice (and very young) and I hope they enjoy the house very much.  In a way they seem perfect for it as we never were.

And now you guys know why my head hasn’t been on, while we tried to do all the last things for closing under new Federal regulations which add… layers… of stuff.

Anyway.  It’s done and we’re out of here for a long writing weekend.  (And I don’t want to hear from Sabrina Chase what she actually thinks we’ll be doing.)  When I come back (there will be guest posts the other days) I’ll answer goldport email, deal with patron issues and donations, and generally be back on business.  I should also have Darkship Revenge done or near done, so you betas can get ready to beta.

Meanwhile, it’s my first vacation in 2 years.  (Yeah, JUST writing is a vacation around here.)  So wish me luck, and you guys try not to tear stuff down while I’m gone, okay?

145 thoughts on “Sorry This Is So Late”

  1. We just closed this past Monday on a house we purchased through a truly epic short sale. And for most of the last two months, my go-to expletive has been “Dodd-Frank”…

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    1. I closed on my house 33 years ago, and got writer’s cramp from all the reams of pages of forms I had to sign. I can’t imagine what it would be like after more ‘Federal Regulation’. Do they take your first born as collateral and make you sign the forms in blood?

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      1. Not in blood yet, but about 2/3 of the forms I signed in may (when we closed on our house) were forms along the lines of:
        We have told you X and you acknowledge that.
        You acknowledge that you have acknowledged that we told you X
        You acknowledge, that you have acknowledged that you have acknowledged that we told you X.
        Now we’re going to start over and tell you X again.
        Until I started wanting to use exponents to track it all.

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        2. That was pretty much my experience, wyrdbard. Plus the amount of documentation, and then updated documentation, and then updated updated documentation, and then updated updated updated documentation for the mortgage.

          As I muttered to my wife, “Pre-approved… They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means…”

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        3. You forgot to mention the forms to acknowledge that, in the event X is found to be false, only you the home buyer bears any consequences. Note that this is especially true when you payed a fee for someone to check on the veracity of X.

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  2. Wishing you luck.

    Us tear down things? Really! We only do that in preparation to build or plant something new.

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        1. Dangit, I was going to make a joke about using a powered crowbar, but then I realized that in modified form, such a thing would actually be useful. Now I’m going to have to draw one up.

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          1. My old construction boss had a railroad crowbar, used to lever rails and such. Bar was at least 0.75″ – 1″ thick and maybe five foot long. But the big tool was a homemade monster called “the Persuader.”

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          2. If everybody would just pay attention and baaack up when Dan hollers, “fahrnahul!” we wouldn’t have any new shades to discriminate against.

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      1. GUYS! They sold the house! Stop with the redecorating, already. Save the good stuff for when they buy the prefect writer’s retreat. _Then_ we’ll go to town.

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          1. If Princess Leia can be an Ambassador/Spy For The Rebel Alliance And A Traitor (Take Her Away!), then ours can be a Prefect if she wants to.

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        3. No, no, no. We are redecorating the lair.

          It became apparent some time ago that any one person’s house would not work, so we acquired a slightly used defeated evil villain’s central complex for the use of the Huns. The first thing we did was start on substantial upgrades in security (which has turned into a continuous ongoing project). That and central beverage station with the coffee bar.

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          1. especially now that it got inverted in that Tardis enhancement experiment, we have lots and lots of closet space to work with. Oh, and the outside is the size of a sugar cube, so it is hard to paint (I once pumped in 50,000 gallons of paint it it only covered the door frame)

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              3. I just made a large, stout cup of tea (er, my cup is actually a 24oz soup bowl) with 4 bags of Constant Comment
                Maybe that and breakfast cooking will waked me ups

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        1. Tractor beam, actually. But as long as you’re here with your welding equipment, you can help me mount it.

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          2. (checking blueprints) … Ummm, I think it goes in that guy’s eye, the dude making the fuss about that mote in God’s eye.

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              1. Well the more you feed them, the bigger they are, the hungrier they get. There won’t ever be enough trespassers.

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              2. We need to just open the hyperworld gate #1535398. The excess alligators will find it a nice pleasant swampland.

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                  1. No, but on the other hand, they’re always going on about feeding the poor….

                    Few meals of that and they’ll be standing in line for any job they can get.

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  7. And I don’t want to hear from Sabrina Chase what she actually thinks we’ll be doing.

    Well, now that you’ve said that, there’s hardly a need for Sabrina to say it herself, now, is there?

    (RUNS)

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    1. Bite your tongue. Everyone would be better off from knowing my opinions…and I have lots of them. :-)

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  8. Bout damn time you slacker you. Both closing and Darkship Revenge. Gonna drop the beta on us right before the holiday aren’t you. Reminds me of my days doing proposal reviews when the bidders always delivered their document packages the day before a long weekend.
    Kidding aside, many congratulations on loosing the albatross, hope you wound up with enough to get you into that ultimate writer’s paradise you’ve always wanted.
    You and Dan have a great time on your mini vaca. We’ll look after things here and over on FB, trust us.

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  9. O, my reputation… :-D (Entirely deserved, of course, but where is the fun in admitting it? I like to think of my evil as a form of Art.)

    I know what you are doing, of course. Don’t bother to deny it.
    You and Dan are going kilt shopping. (Yay!)

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      1. Not in Paris . Bet the French wish they hadn’t killed off the Templars on Friday, Nov. 13, 1307. We need them now!

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    3. Come home Jason Voorhees, the French don’t appreciate you the way we do. We have some lovely stoners for you to perform entirely legitimate medical procedures on. Remember, Libertarians do not want to persecute you for practicing medicine without a license.

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      1. Posted the following in Sarah’s Diner (Facebook).

        Thoughts on Friday the 13th.

        My parents got their marriage license on Friday June 13th, 1952.

        They got married on June 15th, 1952.

        I came along on June 17th ….. 1954 [Very Big Grin]

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          2. I’ve not had any issue with Friday the 13th. Sometimes I’ve had troubles during the day leading up to it, as if people were discharging their problems or negatives energies or whatnot in preparation. The last few years, even that seems to have faded – or else lousy is the new normal and I’ve gotten used to it.

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  20. If Dan has a mistress, I know exactly what he’ll be doing this weekend!

    (Hint: A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were arguing over whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress. The lawyer said it was better to have a mistress, so that if you had to break up, you didn’t get embroiled in messy legal battles. The doctor said it was better to have a wife, because it’s better for your long-term health….

    And the mathematician said it’s better to have both. “That way, when the mistress thinks you are with your wife, and your wife thinks you are with your mistress, you can sneak off and work on mathematics!”)

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    1. See, I would have gone with sneak off to get some sleep. Guess there’s a reason I never finished that BS in Math…

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      1. Technically, I would probably do this too, for various reasons, although I wish I could work on mathematics. But I would probably drift to sleep, dreaming about mathematics…

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    2. I don’t believe that, a mathematician would know that two women would mean three times the expenses, and six times the headaches, and know that it didn’t add up, it just wouldn’t be worth it.

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            1. Well, topologically, a bagel and a coffee cup are similar, in the sense that each one has one and only one hole which pierces completely through it – the bagel, of course, has a hole through the center, while the coffee cup has a hole which forms the handle. As far as topology is concerned, the minor deformation of one side of the torus is insignificant.

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    3. When writers are concerned, though, there are also the Muses.

      Come to think of it, they’re going to be together this week, too. I don’t know whether to be anticipative or terrified…

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  21. Congratulations!

    When I purchased my house as the real estate market was still melting down, I remember signing paperwork for about 90-120 minutes. I can only imagine what adding more Federal regulations to the mix does. Ugh.

    Enjoy your weekend!

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    1. Yes, for all of us.

      You know this means there is one less distraction to obtaining greater written output from our esteemed hostess! Hip hip hooray!

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    1. They need to bring them home and turn them loose in the Arab quarters!
      Rule of engagement – none – let God sort them out.

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  26. Congratulations!
    (BTW, wasn’t there something said about sharing photos of the result of all this wonderful refurb work you’ve been doing.. for those of us who also love old houses?)

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  27. I’ve never sold a house… but I bought one six years ago. I called the realtor and told them I’d take it, they told me when they’d have the paperwork ready (I would have thought they would have done that before listing it…) and I rode my motorcyle down to the office. I signed my name in three or four places, handed them a foil-wrapped packet of hundreds, signed a few more forms, got a big folder of paperwork, and rode off. Fifteen minutes, tops.

    I expected them to gripe about cash, but the realtor said “a lot of people do that.” Since a lot of places around don’t take cash any more, I was moderately surprised.

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    1. A friend of mine sold his house in California a few years ago. The guy paid with a paper grocery bag full 100’s, (no realtor, sold cash on the barrel head) then asked that they not deposit them at the bank all at once. My friend told him, sorry, I need to pay my mortgage off, because I am buying another house.

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    2. Doesn’t surprise me. One reason that those “cash reporting” regulations on banks are absolutely idiotic (besides being dangerous). The cash economy is a cash economy – a banker never lays eyes on it.

      (I was with my Dad once when he bought a racehorse for $10K – I think it was a bit of an ego-boo that he only used ten bills…)

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  28. Congratulations!! That’s lot of work over and done with.
    As to not tearing the place down, tell the gremlins that.

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  29. Fantastic news! Did I miss it, or is the new house picked yet?

    If not, oh well, you only have half a fire to go.

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  31. Ding Dong! The house is sold. Which old house? The wretched house!
    Ding Dong! The wretched house is sold.
    Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
    Wake up, the wretched house is sold. It’s gone where the assets go,
    Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.
    Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
    Let them know
    The wretched house is sold!

    As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally.
    Barrister: But we’ve got to verify it legally, to see
    Mayor: To see?
    Barrister: If it
    Mayor: If it?
    Barrister: Is morally, ethic’lly
    Father No.1: Spiritually, physically
    Father No. 2: Positively, absolutely
    Munchkins: Undeniably and reliably Sold
    Realtor: As Realtor I must concede, I thoroughly reviewed the deed.
    And it’s not only merely sold, it’s really most sincerely sold.
    Mayor: Then this is a day of Independence. For all the Hoyts and their descendants
    Barrister: If any.
    Mayor: Yes, let the joyous news be told. The wretched old house at last I’d sold!

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