Echoing Kris Rusch

Kris Rusch is having issues with malware attacks on her sites, and I find her post important enough to echo it here and over at Mad Genius Club.

The Business Rusch: Royalty Statement Update 2012
Kristine Kathryn Rusch

Over a year ago, I wrote a blog post about the fact that my e-book royalties from a couple of my traditional publishers looked wrong. Significantly wrong. After I posted that blog, dozens of writers contacted me with similar information. More disturbingly, some of these writers had evidence that their paper book royalties were also significantly wrong.

Writers contacted their writers’ organizations. Agents got the news. Everyone in the industry, it seemed, read those blogs, and many of the writers/agents/organizations vowed to do something. And some of them did.

I hoped to do an update within a few weeks after the initial post. I thought my update would come no later than summer of 2011.

I had no idea the update would take a year, and what I can tell you is—

Bupkis. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

That doesn’t mean that nothing happened. I personally spoke to the heads of two different writers’ organizations who promised to look into this. I spoke to half a dozen attorneys active in the publishing field who were, as I mentioned in those posts, unsurprised. I spoke to a lot of agents, via e-mail and in person, and I spoke to even more writers.

The writers have kept me informed.  It seems, from the information I’m still getting, that nothing has changed. The publishers that last year used a formula to calculate e-book royalties (rather than report actual sales) still use the formula to calculate e-book royalties this year.

I just got one such royalty statement in April from one of those companies and my e-book sales from them for six months were a laughable ten per novel. My worst selling e-books, with awful covers, have sold more than that. Significantly more.

To this day, writers continue to notify their writers’ organizations, and if those organizations are doing anything, no one has bothered to tell me. Not that they have to. I’m only a member of one writers’ organizations, and I know for fact that one is doing nothing.

But the heads of the organizations I spoke to haven’t kept me apprised. I see nothing in the industry news about writers’ organizations approaching/auditing/dealing with the problems with royalty statements.  Sometimes these things take place behind the scenes, and I understand that. So, if your organization is taking action, please do let me know so that I can update the folks here.

The attorneys I spoke to are handling cases, but most of those cases are individual cases. An attorney represents a single writer with a complaint about royalties. Several of those cases got settled out of court. Others are still pending or are “in review.” I keep hearing noises about class actions, but so far, I haven’t seen any of them, nor has anyone notified me.

The agents disappointed me the most. Dean personally called an agent friend of ours whose agency handles two of the biggest stars in the writing firmament. That agent (having previously read my blog) promised the agency was aware of the problem and  was “handling it.”

Two weeks later, I got an e-mail from a writer with that agency asking me if I knew about the new e-book addendum to all of her contracts that the agency had sent out. The agency had sent the addendum with a “sign immediately” letter. I hadn’t heard any of this. I asked to see the letter and the addendum.

This writer was disturbed that the addendum was generic. It had arrived on her desk—get this—without her name or the name of the book typed in. She was supposed to fill out the contract number, the book’s title, her name, and all that pertinent information.

I had her send me her original contracts, which she did. The addendum destroyed her excellent e-book rights in that contract, substituting better terms for the publisher.  Said publisher handled both of that agency’s bright writing stars.

So I contacted other friends with that agency. They had all received the addendum. Most had just signed the addendum without comparing it to the original contract, trusting their agent who was (after all) supposed to protect them.

Wrong-o. The agency, it turned out, had made a deal with the publisher. The publisher would correct the royalties for the big names if agency sent out the addendum to every contract it had negotiated with that contract. The publisher and the agency both knew that not all writers would sign the addendum, but the publisher (and probably the agency) also knew that a good percentage of the writers would sign without reading it.

In other words, the publisher took the money it was originally paying to small fish and paid it to the big fish—with the small fish’s permission.

Yes, I’m furious about this, but not at the publisher. I’m mad at the authors who signed, but mostly, I’m mad at the agency that made this deal. This agency had a chance to make a good decision for all of its clients. Instead, it opted to make a good deal for only its big names.

Do I know for a fact that this is what happened? Yeah, I do. Can I prove it? No. Which is why I won’t tell you the name of the agency, nor the name of the bestsellers involved. (Who, I’m sure, have no idea what was done in their names.)

On a business level what the agency did makes sense. The agency pocketed millions in future commissions without costing itself a dime on the other side, since most of the writers who signed the addendum probably hadn’t earned out their advances, and probably never would.

On an ethical level it pisses me off. You’ll note that my language about agents has gotten harsher over the past year, and this single incident had something to do with it. Other incidents later added fuel to the fire, but they’re not relevant here. I’ll deal with them in a future post.

Yes, there are good agents in the world. Some work for unethical agencies. Some work for themselves. I still work with an agent who is also a lawyer, and is probably more ethical than I am.

But there are yahoos in the agenting business who make the slimy used car salesmen from 1970s films look like action heroes. But, as I said, that’s a future post.

I have a lot of information from writers, most of which is in private correspondence, none of which I can share, that leads me to believe that this particular agency isn’t the only one that used my blog on royalty statements to benefit their bestsellers and hurt their midlist writers. But again, I can’t prove it.

So I’m sad to report that nothing has changed from last  year on the royalty statement front.

Except…

The reason I was so excited about the Department of Justice lawsuit against the five publishers wasn’t because of the anti-trust issues (which do exist on a variety of levels in publishing, in my opinion), but because the DOJ accountants will dig, and dig, and dig into the records of these traditional publishers, particularly one company named in the suit that’s got truly egregious business practices.

Those practices will change, if only because the DOJ’s forensic accountants will request information that the current accounting systems in most publishing houses do not track. The accounting system in all five of these houses will get overhauled, and brought into the 21st century, and that will benefit writers. It will be an accidental benefit, but it will occur.

The audits alone will unearth a lot of problems. I know that some writers were skeptical that the auditors would look for problems in the royalty statements, but all that shows is a  lack of understanding of how forensic accounting works. In the weeks since the DOJ suit, I’ve contacted several accountants, including two forensic accountants, and they all agree that every pebble, every grain of sand, will be inspected because the best way to hide funds in an accounting audit is to move them to a part of the accounting system not being audited.

So when an organization like the DOJ audits, they get a blanket warrant to look at all of the accounting, not just the files in question. Yes, that’s a massive task. Yes, it will take years. But the change is gonna come.

From the outside.

Those of you in Europe might be seeing some of that change as well, since similar lawsuits are going on in Europe.

I do know that several writers from European countries, New Zealand, and Australia have written to me about similar problems in their royalty statements. The unifying factor in those statements is the companies involved.  Again, you’d recognize the names because they’ve been in the news lately…dealing with lawsuits.

Ironically for me, those two blog posts benefitted me greatly. I had been struggling to get my rights back from one publisher (who is the biggest problem publisher), and the week I posted the blog, I got contacted by my former editor there, who told me that my rights would come back to me ASAP. Because, the former editor told me (as a friend), things had changed since Thursday (the day I post my blog), and I would get everything I needed.

In other words, let’s get the troublemaker out of the house now. Fine with me.

Later, I discovered some problems with a former agency. I pointed out the problems in a letter, and those problems got solved immediately. I have several friends who’ve been dealing with similar things from that agency, and they can’t even get a return e-mail. I know that the quick response I got is because of this blog.

I also know that many writers used the blog posts from last year to negotiate more accountability from their publishers for future royalties. That’s a real plus. Whether or not it happens is another matter because I noted something else in this round of royalty statements.

Actually, that’s not fair. My agent caught it first. I need to give credit where credit is due, and since so many folks believe I bash agents, let me say again that my current agent is quite good, quite sharp, and quite ethical.

My agent noticed that the royalty statements from one of my publishers were basket accounted on the statement itself. Which is odd, considering there is no clause in any of the contracts I have with that company that allows for basket accounting.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with basket accounting, this is what it means:

A writer signs a contract with Publisher A for three books. The contract is a three-book contract. One contract, three books. Got that?

Okay, a contract with a basket-accounting clause allows the publisher to put all three books in the same accounting “basket” as if the books are one entity. So let’s say that book one does poorly, book two does better, and book three blows out of the water.

If book three earns royalties, those royalties go toward paying off the advances on books one and two.

Like this:

Advance for book one: $10,000

Advance for book two: $10,000

Advance for book three: $10,000

Book one only earned back $5,000 toward its advance. Book two only earned $6,000 toward its advance.

Book three earned $12,000—paying off its advance, with a $2,000 profit.

In a standard contract without basket accounting, the writer would have received the $2,000 as a royalty payment.

But with basket accounting, the writer receives nothing. That accounting looks like this:

Advance on contract 1: $30,000

Earnings on contract 1: $23,000

Amount still owed before the advance earns out: $7,000

Instead of getting $2,000, the writer looks at the contract and realizes she still has $7,000 before earning out.

Without basket accounting, she would have to earn $5,000 to earn out Book 1, and $4,000 to earn out Book 2, but Book 3 would be paying her cold hard cash.

Got the difference?

Now, let’s go back to my royalty statement. It covered three books. All three books had three different one-book contracts, signed years apart. You can’t have basket accounting without a basket (or more than one book), but I checked to see if sneaky lawyers had inserted a clause that I missed which allowed the publisher to basket account any books with that publisher that the publisher chose.

Nope.

I got a royalty statement with all of my advances basket accounted because…well, because. The royalty statement doesn’t follow the contract(s) at all.

Accounting error? No. These books had be added separately. Accounting program error (meaning once my name was added, did the program automatically basket account)? Maybe.

But I’ve suspected for nearly three years now that this company (not one of the big traditional publishers, but a smaller [still large] company) has been having serious financial problems. The company has played all kinds of games with my checks, with payments, with fulfilling promises that cost money.

This is just another one of those problems.

My agent caught it because he reads royalty statements. He mentioned it when he forwarded the statements. I would have caught it as well because I read royalty statements. Every single one. And I compare them to the previous statement. And often, I compare them to the contract.

Is this “error” a function of the modern publishing environment? No, not like e-book royalties, which we’ll get back to in a moment. I’m sure publishers have played this kind of trick since time immemorial. Royalty statements are fascinating for what they don’t say rather than for what they say.

For example, on this particular (messed up) royalty statement, e-books are listed as one item, without any identification. The e-books should be listed separately (according to ISBN) because Amazon has its own edition, as does Apple, as does B&N. Just like publishers must track the hardcover, trade paper, and mass market editions under different ISBNs, they should track e-books the same way.

The publisher that made the “error” with my books had no identifying number, and only one line for e-books. Does that mean that this figure included all e-books, from the Amazon edition to the B&N edition to the Apple edition? Or is this publisher, which has trouble getting its books on various sites (go figure), is only tracking Amazon? From the numbers, it would seem so. Because the numbers are somewhat lower than books in the same series that I have on Amazon, but nowhere near the numbers of the books in the same series if you add in Apple and B&N.

I can’t track this because the royalty statement has given me no way to track it. I would have to run an audit on the company. I’m not sure I want to do that because it would take my time, and I’m moving forward.

That’s the dilemma for writers. Do we take on our publishers individually? Because—for the most part—our agents aren’t doing it. The big agencies, the ones who actually have the clout and the numbers to defend their clients, are doing what they can for their big clients and leaving the rest in the dust.

Writers’ organizations seem to be silent on this. And honestly, it’s tough for an organization to take on a massive audit. It’s tough financially and it’s tough politically. I know one writer who headed a writer’s organization a few decades ago. She spearheaded an audit of major publishers, and it cost her her writing career. Not many heads of organizations have the stomach for that.

As for intellectual property attorneys (or any attorney for that matter), very few handle class actions. Most handle cases individually for individual clients. I know of several writers who’ve gone to attorneys and have gotten settlements from publishers. The problem here is that these settlements only benefit one writer, who often must sign a confidentiality agreement so he can’t even talk about what benefit he got from that agreement.

One company that I know of has revamped its royalty statements. They appear to be clearer. The original novel that I have with that company isn’t selling real well as an e-book, and that makes complete sense since the e-book costs damn near $20. (Ridiculous.) The other books that I have with that company, collaborations and tie-ins, seem to be accurately reported, although I have no way to know. I do appreciate that this company has now separated out every single e-book venue into its own category (B&N, Amazon, Apple) via ISBN, and I can actually see the sales breakdown.

So that’s a positive (I think). Some of the smaller companies have accurate statements as well—or at least, statements that match or improve upon the sales figures I’m seeing on indie projects.

This is all a long answer to a very simple question: What’s happened on the royalty statement front in the past year?

A lot less than I had hoped.

So here’s what you traditionally published writers can do. Track your royalty statements. Compare them to your contracts. Make sure the companies are reporting what they should be reporting.

If you’re combining indie and traditional, like I am, make sure the numbers are in the same ballpark. Make sure your traditional Amazon numbers are around the same numbers you get for your indie titles. If they aren’t, look at one thing first: Price. I expect sales to be much lower on that ridiculous $20 e-book. If your e-books through your traditional publisher are $15 or more, then sales will be down. If the e-books from your traditional publisher are priced around $10 or less, then they should be somewhat close in sales to your indie titles. (Or, if traditional publishers are doing the promotion they claim to do, the sales should be better.)

What to do if they’re not close at all? I have no idea. I still think there’s a benefit to contacting your writers’ organizations. Maybe if the organization keeps getting reports of badly done royalty statements, someone will take action.

If you want to hire an attorney or an auditor, remember doing that will cost both time and money. If you’re a bestseller, you might want to consider it. If you’re a midlist writer, it’s probably not worth the time and effort you’ll put in.

But do yourself a favor. Read those royalty statements. If you think they’re bad, then don’t sign a new contract with that publisher. Go somewhere else with your next book.

I wish I could give you better advice. I wish the big agencies actually tried to use their clout for good instead of their own personal profits. I wish the writers’ organizations had done something.

As usual, it’s up to individual writers.

Don’t let anyone screw you. You might not be able to fight the bad accounting on past books, but make sure you don’t allow it to happen on future books.

That means that you negotiate good contracts, you make sure your royalty statements match those contracts, and you don’t sign with a company that puts out royalty statements that don’t reflect your book deal.

I’m quite happy that I walked away from the publisher I mentioned above years ago. I did so because I didn’t like the treatment I got from the financial and production side. The editor was—as editors often are—great. Everything else at the company sucked.

The royalty statement was just confirmation of a good decision for me.

I hope you make good decisions going forward.

Remember: read your royalty statements.

Good luck.

I need to thank everyone who commented, e-mailed, donated, and called because of last week’s post. When I wrote it, all I meant to do was discuss how we all go through tough times and how we, as writers, need to recognize when we’ve hit a wall. It seems I hit a nerve. I forget sometimes that most writers work in a complete vacuum, with no writer friends, no one except family, who much as they care, don’t always understand.

So if you haven’t read last week’s post, take a peek. More importantly, look at the comments for great advice and some wonderful sharing. I appreciate them—and how much they expanded, added, and improved what I had to say. Thanks for that, everyone.

The donate button is below. As always, if you’ve received anything of value from this post or previous posts, please leave a tip on the way out.

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“The Business Rusch: “Royalty Statement Update 2012,” copyright © 2012 by Kristine Kathryn Rusch.

*Sarah Editorial Note: Right now I can’t get to any of her sites, to pick up the paypal link, but she does have one, and if you consistently read her, you should tip.  You also can’t read last week’s post, but once the hacking gets solved you should.  It meant a lot to me.

In Which The Writer Weasels

I could finish up my chapter of Witchfinder and put it up… I could.  But this is one of those days when it would take me to five, maybe later.  Why, you ask?  Because it’s prom night hereabouts, and I’m on mommy clothing-and-arrangements duty.  That means I get interrupted every five minutes, for those who don’t have teens.

Life being what it is, I figure it’s the best part of valor to say “ahscrewit” and go clean the house (a job remarkably lacking in the need for concentration) while dealing with these mini-emergencies.

When he shall have gone to meet his friends, and I shall have time and quiet to think I’ll finish the chapter, which will go up either tonight or tomorrow.

For now, I’ll spend quality time with the duster and the mop.  (What?  Prime plotting opportunity.)

Welcome Instapundit Readers: The ways in which da blogfather links are mysterious indeed.  This was my apology for not posting the chapter of the novel I’ve been writing in public, a chapter a week.  If you want to see the foregoing, it’s here.  Since y’all are already out here, though, you might as well take a look at yesterday’s post and the day before’s post.  PARTICULARLY that one, as it’s a recurring theme in my writing.  Also, read the comments.  My commenters are the funniest and smartest people in the interwebs.

Every Man A Lord

I was born with a healthy distaste for authority.  Or an unhealthy one, if you think about the white hairs I must have given my elementary school teacher.  To my poor parents it just seemed as though I never outgrew the “Why?” stage.  On the contrary, I overgrew the “Why?” with other considerations like “Taking in account that this economic model always causes issues, why do you think it will work?”  Or “Yes, but why would you think that, given the movement’s philosophical underpinnings?”  Or a thousand other questions that somehow always managed to come up when they told me to clean my room or do the dishes.  

(And you should not fear I went unpunished.  You see, I eventually had kids.  Yesterday night we had a philosophical discussion with the younger boy, in which most philosophers of the 20th century and not a few of the 18th were invoked, as well as half a dozen physicists, on the subject of “why you really need to buy another suit.  This one has been packed wrong a dozen times for the robotics competitions, and it looks gross.”  The gist of his argument?  He likes the suit.  What Hume and Locke have to do with this, much less Niels Bohr is something that evades my poor understanding.  My hope is that eventually at least one of them will have children.  And they’ll be exactly like them.)

When I came to the States I discovered that among the many posters that littered teachers’ and counselors’ offices, there was always one that said “Lead, Follow, or Get Out Of The Way.”  There might also be another, which would not be considered incredibly politically incorrect, and it said “The problem with this tribe is too many chiefs, not enough Indians.”  

Needless to say I absorbed all this, as I absorbed other bits of seventies culture, by reading it, chuckling and forgetting it.  (Okay, bell bottoms didn’t make me chuckle, they made me fall on the floor laughing.  Who knew they’d be revived?  But you know what they say about fashion, the first time is comedy, the second is tragedy.)

It wasn’t till much later that I came to think “What is wrong with getting out of the way?  WHY should I either lead or follow?  Aren’t these people able to find their own path and form their own followers if they want that?”

And much later, I realized that, in politically incorrect terms, Americans as a tribe ARE a nation of chiefs and not enough Indians.  But then the question becomes – what are ENOUGH Indians?  Why are Indians needed anyway?  (And please take this in seventies parlance.  No, I’m not talking about inhabitants of India or Pakistan.  Geesh.)

This occurred to me yesterday when I was writing my piece.  It might not be quite obvious to other people who have never lived out of the country, but we are, as a rule, an unusual people.

Take nine eleven.  Or even more so, take the great power failure in NYC and most of the Eastern regions in… was it 2003?  With electrical down and transport down, most large cities in the world would have broken down in total chaos.  Instead people walked home.  On nine eleven, common citizens pitched in to help strangers.  Some died for their pains.

Yes, there was also Katrina, and other pockets of what I would call “Learned helplessness” – though a lot of it is still exaggerated by our press.

But beyond the disasters and the horrible situations, Americans are different in every day life.  Look, guys, despite all the years of everyone telling us we should leave things to the experts, you can go out on any spring day and see normal citizens fixing and building their houses practically from scratch.  You can still find people repairing their own cars, despite the newfangled computers and stuff.  And let any issue appear, you see common citizens noodling over it.

You won’t know how rare this is, unless you’ve lived abroad, particularly in a place not in the anglosphere.  Reasons of class, reasons of expertise, reasons of learned helplessness, keep ordinary citizens waiting for the “authorities” and the “experts.”

This is the companion piece to my piece yesterday.  As RES pointed out in the comments “What I have I keep,” can also mean “What I have I defend and maintain.”  In the last Pratchett book to reference that motto, that is exactly what it means.

And in America, as long as each of us believes we own ourselves, as long as each of us – or a significant majority of us – believes it is right to keep what we have, what the goofy critters at the top do doesn’t matter.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not going into politics, because what’s the point? But I’ve seen the way a government can bring a country to its knees.  Portugal in the seventies, for instance.  And in some things for which we do need the jokers, like common defense, we can – heaven help us – die from their goofiness.

BUT in general, the American pattern is “When people at the top screw up, go around them.  Find another way.”

Again, the perfect example of this is publishing.  It had been dysfunctional for several decades, but when it became lethally so, at a level that affected not only writers but readers who couldn’t find anything to read…  People found another way.  Mostly techy people did, though I’ll note self-published by the old means was well on its way up long before Amazon.

They went around.  The people at the top still haven’t recovered, and are still screaming “Too many chiefs, too many chiefs.”

I submit to you that at another point in the process, this is happening with bureaucracy and government too.  And it will happen with medicine, if it’s centralized to such a point it becomes utterly dysfunctional.  Medical engineering will come along and make medicine unimportant and quaint.

Part of this is what the tech guys have been up to, of course – the technologies that allow the individual power they’ve never had before.

But it starts before that, in the American psyche, with the strange idea of a government created and authorized by the people.

Lead or follow?  Oh, please.  I’ll get out of the way and take care of me and mine in this little pocket over here.  You zanies do whatever you think you should.  After all, you’re free citizens.

And being free citizens means taking your own path, and recognizing no authority greater than your own conscience.  It means finding solutions around all the “leaders” who are trying to direct you.  It means asking “WHY?” (Though I submit when it comes to ratty winter weight blue suits you should leave Hume and Locke alone already.)

Being free citizens means ascribing to yourself the privileges and responsibilities of noblemen in former ages.  “This much is mine, and this much I’ll care for and maintain and defend.”  And not just possessions, but friends and neighbors (yes, even the annoying ones with the weird political signs) and yeah, a few genuinely helpless creatures, like orphan kittens.  If it’s yours, you look after it.

No wonder regency romances, fantasy and even some of the science fiction that makes it in America is all about Lords and Ladies.  We are a nation of Lords and Ladies with very very few peasants.

And that is what I like about us.  When we’re all Lords and Ladies, no one gets to lord it over us.  Oh, they might think they do, but no such luck.  We are everyman a nobleman.  Or an ungovernable rabble, if you prefer.  Either is fine by me.

So, carry on, milords, miladies.  What is yours, you keep.  Keep it well.

What Is Mine, I Keep

In Terry Pratchett’s books, Lady Sybil Ramkin Vimes’ family motto is “What is ours, we keep.”

I’m sure it started out the way most things in Pratchett’s books started out.  The Ramkins are an old family, who intimidated their way everywhere and who conquered a lot of places and took a lot of wealth.  At least that has been the view of them throughout most of the books.  Sybil herself is a good egg, devoted to saving dragons, but the Ramkins are, by and large, one of the rapacious noble clans.

And then in the last book, something happened.  The “What is mine I keep” was turned on its head, in a way, which brought me to the realization that property, hereditary or not, is a double edged sword.  As is ownership: of things, of self, of talents, of career, of EVERYTHING.

Two things.  This is not a political article – mostly – but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that yesterday was Victims of Communism Day.  Or that if you haven’t read The Black Book of Communism, you should.

The second thing I’d like to mention, it that I sort of already knew all this, instinctively and through my toenails, as I seem to know most of this stuff.  I just didn’t put it together in moral terms, till recently.

I grew up in the seventies and eighties with the communists and assorted stripes of collectivist taking the moral high ground.  After all, the rest of us were for things being unfair.  We wanted people to have more stuff than others.  And even if people got there naturally, well, it was wrong, because not everyone has the same capabilities.  Even if you got what you have by chiseling stuff off the rock, with your bare hands, well, not everyone has the same tough hands you have, you know, and why aren’t you more compassionate?

Even people who were strong anti-communists – and paid for it in career – seemed to bow to the communists and take a sort of moral back seat to them, and say “I know they mean well, it just doesn’t work.”  This still goes on.  In a lecture, yesterday, my kid was shown anti-communist films from the seventies, and his classmates laughed, because, you know, communists aren’t evil.  They’re well intentioned, after all.  (Read the Black Book Of Communism.  DO.)

I said this is not a political column.  It’s not.  At the same time this stuff is so ingrained and has become such part of our society that it’s hard to get at the basis of morality and – eventuality – the basis of managing a writing career, without going through it.

For instance, the idea of “equality” we have is mostly Marxist.  The equality before US law is not an equality of results.  But we assume that equality of results is desired.  We assume that if someone has more than others, this was somehow acquired by immoral means.  We talk about “Giving more to the community” and “Having more than our fair share.”  All of it is nonsense in real world terms.  It can only be talked about in terms that concede that Marxism is moral.

Part of this is because Marxism slots, perhaps fatally, with a part of the monkey brain.  In a small hominid band, if someone is taking more food than the others, he IS hogging it; he is greedy; and he is stealing from others.

In our society in which “resources” are what you make of them… not so much.  In our society where what you create is what matters for life, not so much.  In the chaotic system of a global economy, not so much.

And we come back to “what is mine, I keep.”

Look, I know some people are born with more than others.  They’re born with more talent, more intelligence, more ability, more tenacity.  Some are born with more things, too, but that’s nowhere as important in the long run.  However, some people are born with more than others.  Most of us realize that round about kindergarten.  It is immediately followed by ourselves or others realizing “it isn’t fair.”

“Fair” works in kindergarten, which is much like a small hominid band.  (Or a band of small hominids.  Eh.)  There are limited resources, and if you take too many graham crackers you are being greedy and your crackers will be redistributed.  This works, because the teacher, who is in charge of the class, makes you do it.

There is no teacher in charge of life.  I know, I know, but it’s true.  NO TEACHER.  This being the case, there is no “fairness” in life.  There is no “honor” in life.  There is no “equality” in life.

Heinlein and Shakespeare have both been there before me, but the truth is you could take all of reality and distill it down to the last atom.  And you’d not find an ounce of fairness.  Not an atom of justice.  Not a hint of equality.

These qualities exist only in the mind of man.

Does that mean then that there is no morality?  That the life of man devolves to nature, red in tooth and claw?  How can I claim that’s good?

I don’t.  There is morality.  Morality starts with the individual.  Over time we’ve found that the only thing that distinguishes us from animals is to devise ways of getting along – ways of jostling together – and we’ve discovered – sometimes against our best instincts – that some ways of living together are better than the others.  Those societies where it doesn’t start with the individual always end the same way, whether you call them absolute monarchy, communism or enlightened oligopoly.  Always.  It’s always the mass graves and the small group of rulers, who preside over an increasingly more impoverished society.  It’s always the famines and the purges.  And I’ll explain why, in a moment.

So we start with the individual and with “What is mine, I keep.”  This means each individual has a right to self defense, to begin with.  And if you say no one is disputing anyone’s right to self defense, you are wrong.  It starts in kindergarten, where these days “fighting” is punished equally, whether you are the aggressor, or not, because “violence never solved anything.”  (All of these teachers are hanging hopefully on the line, to confirm that with the City Fathers of Carthage.)  It goes on to people being charged with using “excessive force” to defend themselves from attack or home invasion.

Not being allowed to defend yourself, means you can’t KEEP what is yours.  Keep both in the sense of own and control.  Which immediately makes you a possession of those in authority to defend you.  And on the other side of that – and not as far as you’d expect – there’s the mass graves.  Because, well, if they can choose to defend you or not, then they can also remove you if you become inconvenient to the “common good” which always has to be judged by someone, after all (remember, life has no teacher overseeing it) and is always judged by those with the capacity to exert force.

Once you grant an individual the right to self-ownership, you can’t go about saying he has to give back to the community, though, or that what he’s doing isn’t fair.  Unless he’s actually actively impairing others’ rights to self-ownership and exertion of their talents (the reason government is a necessary evil) he should be allowed to own himself to the final extent of the law.

What is mine, I keep.  That means I use or not, protect or not, increase or waste.  It is mine.  My body, my talents, my effort, my responsibility, my stuff, and the more tenuous web of feelings granted to me by others and by me to them: my friends, my kids, my husband.  And then the stuff that falls under honor-and-credit.  What others know about me, based on accumulated behavior: my career.  My reputation.  My trustworthiness.  They’re all mine.

What is mine.  I keep.  This is what is known as being a free man.

It is also a crushing responsibility.  You have the right to squander everything that is yours, to the last penny, the last ounce of strength.  It’s your choice.  You use your mind to do it.

What does society owe you then?  Nothing.  Am I saying you should be cast out into outer darkness, where there’s crying and gnashing of teeth?  No.  I’m saying that if you husbanded what is yours, even if you’re broke – I’ve been dead broke three times in my life.  I mean DEAD broke, considering soup kitchen as only way to a meal that day broke – and even if in ultimate analysis it’s not really your fault, you will have an immaterial safety net.  Honor and credit.  Friends.  A community that will come through for you.

But that would be shameful, you say.  Society shouldn’t make you feel ashamed.

Why not?  What business is it of society whether you came to this legitimately or not?  Whose job is it to judge? Who is supposed to make it “fair”?  Do you know every one from whom money will be taken by force (taxes are always enforced by physical force) to help you?  Do you know they’re not as needy as you are?  Or that this taking won’t make them spiral into a situation like yours?  HOW do you know?  WHO are you making into your judge, your “teacher”?  And if you don’t know them personally, if they’re not part of “what is yours” why would you do that?  You’re making yourself property, a chattel.  Even if you think you’ll gain by it, you’re surrendering the right of self-ownership.  And that, in my view, should make you feel more ashamed.

It’s very scary to keep what’s yours. You could lose it all.  It’s also very freeing.  You don’t grant anyone the right to take it from you – or to take you from you.

For years now, writers have been living in a kindergarten class.  Teacher decided on the value of our work.  Teacher decided what was right and what was wrong, what was “worthy of being read” and pushed and promoted, and what was “hack work, not to be published, or to be buried deep in the never-upturned midlist.”

Turns out teacher was wrong, and has squandered most of their credit, their honor, and their money too.  And the new kid in town – ebooks, though mostly Amazon just now – has taken their power and their control, not yet to the same extent, but close to the way they took writers.

And now they’re crying, and it’s not fair, and they want teacher to make it fair.  They’re playing with fire.  A government that can favor them can also shut them up.  But they don’t care.  They want it “fair.”  And they want to make sure only the “worthy” books get read.

Any author who isn’t at least experimenting with indie is a born slave.  I love my one remaining traditional publishing house and have (I think.  I don’t know if she’d agree, but I hope so) a good relationship with the publisher.  BUT it still behooves me to have alternate career paths, to have other ways of getting my words before the public and – bluntly – other ways of making money.

Why?  Because what is mine, I keep.  My talent, my ability, my work, my CONTROL.  What is mine, I keep.  I can destroy it or increase it.  It’s my right.  I’m a free woman.  I grant no one the right to control me, or keep me, or impair me.

(Holds up both middle fingers to every one who thinks that publishing “needs” those who know better to look after it.)  There is no such thing with fairness.  There’s only this:

What is mine, I keep.

 

Death Of A Musketeer

(This is the first of the musketeer mysteries, and if you buy it electronic from Naked Reader Press or Amazon, you put money in my pocket.  We’re working on a paper edition.  We’re also working on getting rights to the rest of the series back.  Oh, and I’m working on a new cover.  Don’t even ask.)

 

Death of a Musketeer

Sarah D’Almeida
Prologue

or

How I Came by the Other Diaries Of Monsieur D’Artagnan

 

    My first encounter with the gentlemen known to all the world as Athos, Porthos, Aramis–and, of course, D’Artagnan–came at a young age when, searching through the shelves of my grandfather’s library, I was called by several leather-bound volumes bearing the name Dumas on the spine.

I hardly need tell anyone who had the good fortune of reading Monsieur Dumas’s works at an early age with what rapt attention I followed the actions of the brash young man from Gascony and his three daring companions.

Over the years, I’ve returned to the same book — and its companions Twenty Years After, and Viscount de Bragelone — every winter, when the snow first fell. I re-read the adventures of the four charming rogues, again and again, by my cozy fireside. But I knew I’d never encounter them in any other writing.

I was wrong. This winter, when snowflakes first danced on the thin mountain air of Colorado and while my slippers and my hot chocolate waited with a leather-bound book by my comfortable chair, a delivery service dropped an unpromising battered cardboard box on my front porch.

Inside it was a brief note from my father-in-law, some of whose ancestors immigrated to the New World at the end of the seventeenth century.

Not a French speaker, he said he thought it best if I were given these papers, found in the estate of an elderly relation.

I confess I perused them, at first, with some distaste. The pages had mildewed to an unappetizing shade of greyish yellow and I had to turn them with the greatest care to prevent their falling apart. I picked a word here and a word there, amid decay and mildew. The spelling was quite the oddest I’d ever encountered.

However, on page two I encountered the name D’Artagnan, on page five the name Athos and on page ten the names Porthos and Aramis together. By page fifteen I realized these diaries referred to murders investigated, solved and often avenged by the three musketeers plus one. I was hooked.

After that, I devoured the twenty mildewed diaries with the eagerness of one too long separated from a childhood friend. Woven around the events that Dumas told the world of in his books, the diaries started with the fateful duel at the Barefoot Carmelites. However, they very quickly turned into a series of murder mysteries often involving the highest nobility of France.

The bulk of it was written in ink that had faded to brown, and in an angular handwriting that marched across the pages with the certainty of a military officer on campaign.

However, over it all, there were notes in other hands, squeezed in the margins and scribbled between the lines. I soon learned to identify the small, sharp, inclined hand with Athos, the round, well formed ecclesiastical one — still with a hint of violet to its tints — with Aramis and the laborious printing with Porthos. The notes gave details that the writer of the main diaries — certainly D’Artagnan — couldn’t have known at the time he wrote them.

I do not know how his friends came to editorialize D’Artagnan’s diaries. And I have no idea how or by what crooked lines of descent and inheritance or happenstance and luck those diaries passed into the hands of my family.

The only thing certain is that those diaries, which I edited for coherence and adapted to our modern storytelling mode, reveal murders as intricate and fiendish as any writer could dream, and that these crimes could only be solved by Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D’Artagnan.

To whose spirit, nobility and courage I hope my retelling will do justice.

Sarah D’Almeida

January 2004, Colorado Springs

The Duel that Wasn’t; Where the Cardinal’s Guards are Taught a Lesson; A Handy Guide to the Taverns of Paris

D’Artagnan knew he was going to die.

It was April 1625 and the spring sun, fierce and blazing, shone like an unblinking eye over the bustling city of Paris. Henri D’Artagnan, aged seventeen, a slim, muscular young man with olive skin, dark hair and piercing black eyes, had arrived in town just the day before.

Now, under the noon sun, he stood outside the convent of the Barefoot Carmelites, a religious house situated in a conveniently deserted spot on the outskirts of town.

Around him spread fields of green wheat. The wind being still and no breeze stirring the sheaves, the only sound was the drowsy droning of insects, drunk with midday languor and heat.

And D’Artagnan thought this was the last day of his life.

If he weren’t himself, if he were not the only son of nobleman Francois D’Artagnan, a hardened veteran soldier, D’Artagnan could have turned and taken off running through those fields, relying on his young, agile legs to get him away from death.

His mind cringed at such an unworthy thought.

His opponent, with whom his sword was crossed, scraped the sword lightly along the length of D’Artagnan’s. Just enough to gain the young man’s attention.

And D’Artagnan turned towards him, at the same time that his opponent’s second, who served as their judge in this case, dropped the white handkerchief signaling the beginning of combat.

His opponent came at D’Artagnan like a tiger, his sword pressing D’Artagnan close and demanding all of the young man’s concentration.

The man was called Athos, and he fought like a veteran duelist. Which he was, being one of the older and more experienced and — as far as D’Artagnan could determine — one of the most feared members of his majesty Louis XIII’s corps of musketeers. Other things D’Artagnan had heard, once he’d given himself the trouble of checking: That the man had the personal friendship of Monsieur de Treville. That he was of noble birth. That Athos was a nom-de-guerre, picked up to hide disgrace or guilt.

Athos attacked, driving the young man back and back and back, till D’Artagnan’s shoulders were solidly against the white-washed wall of the convent and only his quick wit and quicker reflexes permitted him to step sideways and avoid being skewered.

D’Artagnan flitted and skipped, danced away from trouble and contorted away from tight spots, but his mind became oddly detached.

His body moved and seemed to think with a reasoning of its own, while it parried and thrust, and made Athos back away. Meanwhile D’Artagnan’s mind — what his mother used to call his quick and lively mind — had gone away, to some place at the back of himself. Some place away from the battlefield, where it could do its thinking.

When Henri D’Artagnan had left the paternal abode, his father had given him only one substantive piece of advice. And that was that he fight often, that he fight well and that he never tolerate any insult from anyone but the king or the cardinal who was, truth be told, as powerful as any king.

Henri had tried to follow his father’s advice and, on the road to Paris, in the small town of Meung, had challenged a nobleman who laughed at his attire and horse. This had cost him dearly, as his opponent had his servants hit Henri from behind. While Henri was unconscious, the stranger had stolen Henri’s letter of recommendation to Monsieur de Treville. The letter that would have got him into the musketeers this very day.

But I don’t learn, do I? D’Artagnan thought to himself, as he pushed hard with his sword arm, forcing Athos’s sword away, shoving the musketeer back at the same time.

Athos fell away and tripped and bent down upon his knee.

I had to challenge three musketeers for a duel today. Three. Musketeers. Today, D’Artagnan thought, as he jumped nimbly back, ready to parry Athos’s next thrust.

No, he didn’t learn. He’d continued following his father’s advice, until he’d managed to challenge the three men that the rest of the corps called the three inseparables: Athos, Porthos and Aramis. One of whom would kill him today.

D’Artagnan’s mind was so preoccupied with its gloomy thoughts that he didn’t at first realize that Athos hadn’t got up from his position, half-bent over his knee.

“Monsieur,” he said, when he did notice it. “Monsieur, if it would suit you to adjourn our appointment to another time….”

He noticed Athos’s hand pressed hard at his right side, and he remembered the scene, that very morning, in Monsieur de Treville’s office, where an obviously wounded and ill Athos had come in to present himself to his captain and to deflect Monsieur de Treville’s anger at all of the three musketeers who’d been bested in a skirmish with the cardinal’s guards.

 “Monsieur, if you are in too great a pain…,” D’Artagnan said. He’d got in this duel with Athos by careening against the musketeer and making him bleed. And failing to apologize sufficiently for the injury he’d caused.

 But Athos only shook his head. He took a deep breath, audible in the midday stillness, and he rose slowly from his knee. “It’s nothing,” he said, his face ashen. “It is nothing. I didn’t want to distress you with the sight of blood you haven’t drawn.” A red stain showed on the side of his doublet. He changed his sword to his left hand. “If you don’t mind, I will fight with my left hand, though. It will not put me at a disadvantage, as I can use either hand to equal effect. But it might be harder for you to defend yourself.”

 D’Artagnan nodded. He knew he would die anyway. And if he was going to die, perhaps it would be best if it was at Athos’s hands. Of his three potential opponents, he liked and admired Athos more than the other two. It was no dishonor to be killed by such a man.

Athos straightened and pulled back a stray lock of pitch black hair, which contrasted glaringly with his alabaster-pale complexion.

D’Artagnan had heard that Athos was considered handsome by many men and even more women in Paris. This opinion baffled D’Artagnan.

Athos’s face was spare, with high cheekbones and intense, eyes burning with zeal. The rest of his features, precisely drawn and finely sculpted, made the man look less like a living being and more like those caryatides of Greece and Rome — columns given human form and forever holding aloft the white marble roof of a temple or palace.

Athos’s character, like his appearance, seemed as spare, as certain, as controlled as those columns. Rightly or not, he gave the impression of a man who served a cause greater than his own whims, purer than his own advancement.

And this, D’Artagnan thought as Athos raised his sword, was what D’Artagnan would have liked to be — if he ever got to live beyond his present seventeen years.

 Aramis, Athos’s second and D’Artagnan’s next arranged opponent, stepped up. He was a blonde man, so dainty-looking that one might fail to notice he was almost as tall as Athos and as muscular. Accounted a gallant by all who knew him, he was said to be popular with the ladies and rumored to be entertaining duchesses and princesses by the score.

 D’Artagnan, who had challenged him to a duel over an argument started on a point of honor, had at first thought him just a dandy and nothing more. But Aramis’s bright green eyes showed such a keen appreciation for the irony of D’Artagnan’s situation, that perhaps there was more to him.

 As he stepped up, picking up his white handkerchief from the ground where it had lain, he said, “You must restart the duel.”

 D’Artagnan noticed that Athos was very pale still, his skin tinged with the grey of a man fighting extreme pain, and realized that Athos’s old fashioned Spanish-style doublet was laced tightly over his musketeer’s tunic. “I would not object if you undo the ties on your doublet, since the sun is so devilishly hot.”

 But Athos shook his head. “I thank you for your courtesy,” he said, “but really, I’m afraid if I do it will restart the bleeding. The wound is bothering me.”

 “Do not misunderstand me; I am eager to cross swords with you,” D’Artagnan said. “But if you wish to wait and perhaps drink something for your present comfort…”

 Athos smiled, a flash of genuine amusement. “Your sentiment does you credit, but I believe in collecting my debts promptly and drinking afterwards. And then, it is not the first time I’ve fought while wounded.” He shifted his feet and tilted the upper half of his body forward, baring his teeth slightly, as if allowing the animal to peer out of his noble features.

 “Come, come,” Porthos spoke, from where he stood by the white wall of the convent, hands the size of hams folded over the guard of a very substantial sword. A redheaded giant, he dwarfed other men with the size of his lean, muscular body. Each of his arms looked to be the size of D’Artagnan’s thigh, each of his legs like an oak tree trunk. And yet he gave the impression of suppleness, of not a wasted ounce on his huge frame. “You are all talk. Less talk and more fighting. Remember, Athos, he owes me satisfaction after you and Aramis have your turns. He offended me most horribly on a matter of fashion.”

 Did D’Artagnan fancy that a smile crossed Aramis’s and Athos’s lips, when Porthos spoke?

 Aramis raised his eyebrows and, still holding his handkerchief aloft, turned towards Porthos. “When you wish to be so rude, you should speak for yourself only, Porthos. I have no objection to the noble and proper sentiments these gentlemen express. Indeed, I will gladly listen to them for as long as necessary, before they feel it fit to cross swords.”

 And now another flinch of remorse came to join D’Artagnan’s regret that he would die so early, leaving so much untasted of life’s joys: that he would never get to know these men better. There was such an easy camaraderie between the three of them, so devoid of the formality of most friendships, that he imagined they could have been his friends.

 “Only,” Porthos said, pulling a large red handkerchief from his sleeve and mopping at his forehead with it, “it’s too blazing hot.”

 “It doesn’t matter,” Athos said, and leaned forward, displaying his teeth, again, in that expression that was more animal threat than human smile, “for we are ready.” He pushed his sword against D’Artagnan’s and said, “En garde,” between clenched teeth.

 Aramis dropped the scarf.

 A throat was cleared, nearby, neither by Aramis nor by Porthos.

 Their swords still crossed, D’Artagnan and Athos turned to look. Five men stood near them — so near that they could only have approached unnoticed while the musketeers and D’Artagnan were distracted with talk and worry for Athos’s wound. All of them wore uniforms similar to those of the musketeers, but where the musketeers wore blue, their knee breeches, tunics and plumed hats were bright red, like freshly spilled blood.

 They were guards of the cardinal, sworn rivals of the Musketeers, their enemies in a thousand brawls, a million street skirmishes.

 “Well, well,” said the leading guard, who had a suntanned face and a Roman nose. “What have we here? Dueling Musketeers? What? In open and defiant contravention of all the edicts against dueling?” He smiled unpleasantly, revealing a wealth of very large, yellowed teeth. “I’m afraid we’ll have to arrest the lot of you.”

 “Leave us alone, Jussac,” Athos said, without turning to look, his sword still crossed with D’Artagnan’s. “I promise you if we found you in the like amusement we’d sit back and let you proceed. Enjoy and amuse yourselves, have the profit of our injuries with none of the pain.”

 Jussac smiled wider. “That’s as it may be, Monsieur Athos. But the thing is there is an edict against dueling and our master, the cardinal, wants laws obeyed.”

 Athos lowered his sword. He turned to Jussac and, with an air of strained patience, said, “Nothing would please me more than to oblige you. But, you see, our captain, Monsieur de Treville, has forbidden us from being arrested.”

 Jussac sighed, in turn. He lifted his hat and scratched under it at his sweat-soaked hair. “Think about it,” he said. “There are only three of you, one of you wounded. Three of you and a child who was dueling you. If you force us to fight you, they will say it’s murder.”

 The three musketeers formed a circle, from within which their worried voices reached D’Artagnan’s ears.

 “I’m afraid he’s right, you know,” Aramis said. “There are only three of us, one of us wounded. And there are five of them: Jussac, Brisac and Cahusac, the three fiercest fighters in the Guards, and two of their companions. They will slaughter us.”

 Athos paled yet further and glared, his zealous blue eyes seeming to flame. His features hardened into a harsher pose of dignity. “I would rather die than appear before Monsieur de Treville defeated again.”

 “Me too,” Porthos said.

 D’Artagnan remembered the scorching reproach that Monsieur de Treville had inflicted on the three musketeers that morning. Everyone waiting in the captain’s antechamber had heard it. He didn’t blame the three for not wishing to face such humiliation again.

 “Very well, then,” Aramis said. He straightened a little and squared his shoulders. “We’ll die here.”

 “You, the child,” Jussac said, pointing at D’Artagnan. “Save yourself. We’ll allow you to go.”

 D’Artagnan looked at the three musketeers who were so calm, so resigned, gallantly preparing themselves for death rather than facing dishonor. He looked over at Jussac, who smiled benevolently at him, showing long yellow teeth.

 He pushed himself into the musketeers’ circle, shoving his sweaty face between Aramis’s and Porthos’s shoulders. “You are wrong,” he said. “When you say there are only three of you. I count four of us.”

 They looked back at him, and for a moment it looked as though Porthos were on the verge of asking who the fourth one might be. But, before he could, Athos smiled. “You’re a child,” he said. “And someday you’ll be a man I’d be proud to call a friend. But right now you’re a boy. And this is suicide. Our chosen death. Save yourself.”

 “No,” D’Artagnan said, his certainty growing with the rebuff. “No. I’ll stay and fight by your side.”

 “But, you’re not a musketeer,” Aramis said. “Why would you want to die with us?”

 “Though I don’t wear a musketeer uniform,” D’Artagnan said. “In my heart I am a musketeer. And though I might only be able to give you very little help, if I leave and save my life, I’ll never be able to live with myself.”

 For a moment Aramis stared at him, Porthos frowned at him, and Athos furrowed his brow as if in deep thought.

 And then Athos smiled. “You’re right,” he said. “There are indeed four of us. Athos, Porthos, Aramis and–your name, my friend?”

 “D’Artagnan,” D’Artagnan answered, as his heart hammered faster and faster in his chest, and once more he was sure he was going to die.

 This time he knew he was going to die at the end of the guards’ swords. But he would die next to musketeers. He would die almost a musketeer. His father would be proud.

 “Well, then, Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D’Artagnan. One for all and all for one. If death is to come for us, let us not keep her waiting. Let us go out and meet her halfway, like gallants, and receive her kiss proudly.”

 “We grow impatient,” Jussac thundered, outside their circle. “Will you save yourself or not, boy? Because if not, we’re coming to get you.”

 The circle broke apart as though they had rehearsed, and the four of them faced the five guards.

 “We’ve made a decision,” Athos said, his voice steady and calm.

 “Oh,” Jussac said. “I hope it’s a sensible decision.”

 “Very,” Athos said, and removed his hat, and bowed with a deep flourish. “We’re going to have the pleasure of charging you.”

 Before the guard could snap shut the mouth that he’d let drop open in his astonishment, Athos’s hat was back on his head, and Porthos and Aramis had unsheathed their swords.

 “One for all and all for one,” they shouted, as they fell on the guards.

 By the rational odds of combat and war, they should have lost. There were but four of them, one of whom was severely wounded, and the other little more than a child.

 D’Artagnan’s only experience of dueling had been his mock duels with his father, in the field behind their house, in the calm Gascon countryside.

 If that duel had been decided on body count, or on experience, or even on the relative size of the opponents, surely the guards of the cardinal would have won.

 But wars and duels are fought with the mind, the heart, and that other thing – that thing that is neither loyalty nor camaraderie, but which has hints of both.

 That thing allowed D’Artagnan to know and come to the rescue when Athos’s breathing grew too labored. That thing allowed him to go away when Athos had recovered enough to resume his own battle.

 And duels are also fought with pride and fear. The three musketeers were too proud to surrender, too fearful of Monsieur de Treville’s wrath to allow themselves to be arrested. They fought like fury unleashed.

 Porthos fought and defeated two enemies at once.

 And so, fifteen minutes later, the only one left standing of the small army of Cardinal Guards was de Brissac – like D’Artagnan, a Gascon, and like D’Artagnan, ill-suited to surrender. Surrounded by all the musketeers, he broke his own sword upon his knee to avoid losing it.

 But then he gave up. He helped the musketeers and D’Artagnan take the wounded and dead to the convent’s door. And stayed behind with them, while the musketeers and D’Artagnan rang the bell and walked away.

 Years later, D’Artagnan would try to recall the rest of the afternoon. All he would remember was Athos’s promising that he would show D’Artagnan the best taverns in Paris.

 And then they’d gone to the Louis, where there were ten musketeers and where, when Porthos had told their story, people had rushed to buy them strong, sweet, fiery liquor. From there, they’d walked a block to The Maiden’s Head, where the seven musketeers present had listened to their story with awe. And then to The Head and Bucket, where, at the telling of their tale, musketeers and sympathizers had bought them a sparkling white wine.

 D’Artagnan remembered there had been a pause between The Grinning Corpse and The Coup de Grace, while he leaned against a wall in an alley and lost most of the wine he’d drunk in the preceding hours.

 But then they’d taken him to the Drinking Fish for a few mugs of house special, and from there to The Drunken Lord for something that tasted like liquid fire.

 Night had fallen when D’Artagnan found himself stumbling along the back alleys and narrow staircases of the working-class neighborhoods of Paris, one arm thrown over Aramis’s shoulder, Porthos’s huge hand on his other shoulder, singing softly a song about the queen, the king and the musketeers that would surely be treason if they weren’t all drunk and all so loyal that they’d just risked their lives to ensure the king’s own musketeers suffered no defeat.

 “We should take the boy home first,” Athos said. He had to be drunk. He’d drunk more of all the various liquors than all of them combined. He had to be dead drunk. But he walked steadily and his voice sounded, if anything, a little slower and calmer and more controlled.

Porthos giggled. “‘s right,” he said. “It is past the time schoolboys should be asleep.”

 “Where do you live, D’Artagnan?” Aramis asked.

 “Rue des Fossoyers,” D’Artagnan said, glad he’d rented lodgings before going in search of his fate outside the Barefoot Carmelites. Looking back it had been presumptuous to think he’d survive three duels. But, at least, he’d have a place to sleep tonight.

“Good,” Athos said. “That’s just around-“

 He turned, as if to get his bearings, and as he turned, and they with him, they all saw a figure in the uniform of a musketeer cross the alley right in front of them.

 “Oh, I say, wait,” Athos said. “Wait, friend. King’s Musketeer, hold. Have you heard that we defeated Jussac outside the Barefoot-“

 The musketeer jumped, as if touched with hot iron, and took off running, the sound of his steps echoing and reverberating through the maze of narrow streets.

 The musketeers stopped and frowned at the space where the unknown musketeer had been.

 “That’s abominably rude,” Aramis said.

 “Musketeer or no, someone should teach him some manners,” Porthos said.

 “He should buy us a drink to make up for it,” Athos said. “After all, there must be a place still open.”

 As one man, they ran, pursuing the fugitive. D’Artagnan followed the sound of their steps.

 They ran down so many blind alleys, careened precipitously down so many worn staircases, that D’Artagnan was sure they’d never find the runaway musketeer. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get separated from his friends.

 But at last, they all surged into an alley. And there, on the ground, the musketeer lay.

 The three musketeers had been calling and jeering and laughing, but now all their noises stopped.

 It was suddenly very quiet, in that alley. Far away, an owl hooted, chasing prey in some attic. D’Artagnan drew a deep breath that sounded too loud in the silence.

 “It can’t be,” Aramis said, under his breath.

 But though D’Artagnan had never seen a dead body, he knew the musketeer lying on the muddy, smelly ground of the alley was dead.

 If asked, he could have given no more justification than a certain angle of the arm protruding from under the body and the stillness, the eerie stillness of whole body.

 “He’s dead,” he said.

 Aramis crossed himself and Athos stepped forward, towards the corpse.
 
The Many Complications of a Dead Musketeer; Where the Corpses of Queens are Different from the Corpses of Commoners; What One Owes the Dead

 Athos was suddenly, startlingly sober.

 One moment he’d been laughing and running with his friends, his head muddled, his vision blurring scenes and places.

 The next breath he was stone cold sober, standing in a narrow alley, his nose full of the stink of mud and the human waste that housewives daily emptied from their windows into the common street. His head hurt a little, with something that was not so much a hangover as the distant echo of a hangover. His shirt and hose stuck to him with dried sweat and felt prickly and cold against his skin. His tightly-laced doublet made his shoulder wound throb.

 He lifted his hand and wiped his forehead. His side hurt with burning, insistent pain. The wound he’d received from Jussac the night before was still bleeding and perhaps starting to become infected.

 Surely Athos’s reactions showed a touch of fever. Because he’d seen death many times. Death, in the battle field or in private brawl meant very little to French noblemen, used to and encouraged to quarrel over matters of honor, over matters of the heart, even over trivial matters.

 It had been a long time since Athos had learned how quickly the flame of life could be extinguished in combat.

 But it had been even longer since he’d seen the body of one killed dishonorably. A murdered corpse.

 And, without being able to point to anything specifically, he was sure this man had indeed been murdered. There had hardly been time for him to challenge anyone, to engage in a duel with anyone.

 Athos stepped forward, a prickle of uneasiness at the back of his neck. He knelt by the body, ignoring the smells that accompanied death.

 The dead man must be very young — there was so little breadth to his shoulders. Short too, shorter than their new friend, D’Artagnan. The hair that escaped from the broad brimmed musketeer hat was as pale-white as moonlight.

 And the light of the lantern hanging at the door to a tavern three doors down was enough to see that the left hand, extended to the side of the body — palm up as if in supplication — was white and pale and unmarred by calluses.

 This meant that not only was the man young and, undoubtedly, had led such a sheltered life as only certain wealthy families could afford, but also that he’d been a musketeer for a very little time.

 Because the wielding of the sword, the gripping of the oft ornamented pommel, the force necessary to parry and thrust with the blade, soon turned the hands of those sons of the nobility who made the sword their profession as callused, as blistered and as rough as the hands of any farmer’s son.

 From beneath the neck, on the right side, a little pool of thick liquid — dark under the insufficient lighting — spread sluggishly on the muddy ground.

 Athos put his hand on the back of the boy’s head. It felt warm still.

 “Help me turn him,” Athos said.

 Porthos stepped forward, put a hand on each of the boy’s shoulders and easily, like a boy turning a rag doll, flipped the body so it was face up.

 In the effort, the hat went flying. Athos flinched as the corpse’s blue eyes appeared to stare at him.

 It was not a boy, but a young woman.

 She could be any age between sixteen and twenty, but Athos did not need to notice the gentle swell of breasts beneath the musketeer’s tunic to know that it was no man.

 Her forehead was too smooth, her nose too small, slightly tilted up. Her eyes were too wide. Her lips too soft and pliable. Lips that would have made many a suitor tremble.

 Her eyes looked puzzled, as if she couldn’t quite understand what had happened, and there was a small crease of worry on her white forehead.

 Without thinking, Athos brought out his handkerchief from his sleeve and wiped the mud and blood from the side of her face. Then he gasped, in turn.

 She looked like– It was–

 He jumped back, unconsciously tracing the sign of the cross over his own forehead — not in the carefully deliberate way Aramis did it, but in the frantic way of a child warding off evil.

 From either side of him, in Porthos’s booming tones and Aramis’s half-sighed ones, he heard the words his mind whispered. “The queen. It is the queen.”

 Athos shook his head, reflexively. D’Artagnan pushed forward and stopped at the feet of the corpse, looking hesitant.

 “It can’t be the queen,” Athos said. “It would never be the queen. What would our queen be doing here, in Musketeer attire, in the dark street?”

 A half groan from Aramis answered him, a wordless crescendo of worry. It stopped fast and, without turning, Athos was sure his friend had bit his own tongue to stop the sound.

 And then in a fearful whisper, because this wasn’t an antechamber or a salon where such things could be said and bandied as a joke, Aramis said, “It is said Buckingham is in town.”

 “Aramis!” Porthos said.

 Athos didn’t say anything. He hadn’t heard the rumors of Buckingham’s visit. But then he wouldn’t. Other than his two friends who knew better than to gossip to him, he spoke to very few people. Most of his days were spent in silence. Even his servant, Grimaud, had been taught to answer a gesture or an expression, which saved Athos the trouble of talking.

 He’d joined the musketeers as other men would join a cloistered order. In fact, it was only the consciousness of being the last one of his noble line that had kept him from donning some russet habit and hiding forever in the dark bowels of a monastery. That, and the memory of his sin.

 Looking at this dead woman now, brought his sin to mind again. The thought of another woman he’d seen dead. His wife. His… wife.

 He ran his hand over his forehead and eyes, as if by doing so he could remove the veil of the past and the thoughts he didn’t want to think.

 “I only say what I have heard,” Aramis said defensively.

 “Yes, but there are things that shouldn’t be said,” Porthos answered, his booming voice trying to control itself into a hiss and therefore hissing and booming, both uncontrollably.

 Athos knew that if he didn’t intervene, his two friends, so close despite being diametrical opposites, would engage in an endless round of bickering. He often ignored such behavior while the three of them were out drinking.

 He could not ignore it now. Aramis’s certainty and Porthos’s censure grated on his nerves like fingernails drawn, shrieking, down a blackboard.

 “Well, she might be the queen,” Aramis said. “But she is also human. We are all fallen creatures and it is said that the king avoids her.”

 They were standing in front of a corpse that might be that of the queen of France. They were standing at the feet of someone dead by violence and stealth. And yet Aramis and Porthos would bicker as usual.

 “Well, a fallen creature she might be, but she’s also a queen and as a queen and at that the–“

 “Silence,” Athos removed his hat, held it at his chest, an insufficient but needed gesture of respect for these remains. “Silence.”

 At his words, the others fell silent and removed their hats also.

 Athos struggled for words. As a child, he’d been outspoken, fluent. Often he’d filled his afternoons with poetry.

 But in the last ten years he’d tried to silence all his words — internal as well as external. The fewer the words, the less they would reproach him and the less he would think of the crime that had sent him fleeing his earldom, his nobility, his responsibilities as a lord to don a musketeer’s uniform and an assumed name. The less he spoke, the less he would think.

 Or at least, that had been the theory. In fact, the things he refused to name and speak of often visited him in blood-soaked dreams that woke him, sweat-drenched and screaming, in the middle of the night.

 Yet, silence had now become a habit, a turn of mind, a form of thought. It took him several moments to collect his words.

When they came, they came slowly to his tongue, like children who, once chased from a garden, hesitate to return and play there. “It matters not,” he said. “Why the queen would be abroad in this attire, if this is the queen. There are reasons…” He hesitated and his eloquence floundered. “We don’t need to know why, nor do we need to speak about it. Things said in jest are excusable. The same things said in earnest are treason.”

 Around him, his friends were so quiet that he could hear, streets away, the solitary footsteps of lone passerby.

 “But if it is the queen,” D’Artagnan said, in a whisper. “If it is the queen, then treason is the least of our worries.”

 Athos looked to the young man and met with a keen understanding and deep worry in the observant gaze.

 He nodded, in response. “Yes,” he said.

 “I don’t have the pleasure of understanding either of you,” Aramis cut in. “You speak in riddles.”

 Athos turned towards his blond friend. Aramis was not a stupid man. Neither was Porthos, though often the way they reasoned could give the impression of stupidity. Athos could not be bothered with stupid people, and he’d chosen friends he thought his intellectual equals.

 But Aramis’s intellect was so bound up with his upbringing — by a widowed, elderly mother who wanted only to get him into the church — that he thought as theologians argued: in circles and whorls, through labyrinths and twisting paths that arrived at the truth by a totally circuitous route. Aramis often had trouble seeing what hadn’t been stated several times over, in different ways and half of it in Latin.

 Porthos too, a man who reasoned with his huge hands and his overdeveloped senses, would not immediately leap from the idea of this dead body in an alley to the trouble that would ensue in the world at large if this were, indeed, the queen of France.

 Porthos, the direct man of action, found words a slippery adversary who wouldn’t meet him openly.

 Athos sighed. Again he rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. Sober, he might be. Startlingly and suddenly sober. But the alcohol he’d drunk remained with him — a dull ache behind the eyes, a confusion of the tongue. “I meant that if this is the queen and she is dead, the world will tremble for this. Our king will say she was out for unknown motives, probably dishonorable, and that no one can ever find out who killed her. Her relatives abroad, though — her very powerful relatives, the Hapsburg Emperor, her brother, and her cousins and siblings, in the various thrones of Europe — will not be satisfied. They’ll say our own king contrived her death.” Athos shook his head, unwilling to speak further of all the things that could be said in this regard. “And then there is, as Aramis mentioned, Buckingham. He too is unlikely to believe the queen’s death was a murder committed by a mere footpad. He will want revenge. All of them will. There will be war.”

 “Let them make war, then,” Porthos growled. “They will break their teeth on the nut of France.”

 “Shhhh,” Aramis said.

 And Athos looked around, at the still closed windows of the upper floors, at the deserted street, the lantern burning out the last of its oil in front of the tavern two doors down. Aramis was right. All the merchants in the street might be asleep, snug in their beds over their shops. But make enough noise and they would wake. And if they wakened…. If they wakened, the scandal would be out in the open.

 “She looks younger than the queen,” D’Artagnan said. He blushed furiously as Athos looked back at him. “I know all I’ve seen of the queen are woodcuts and a portrait, once. But this woman looks like she can’t be twenty, yet.”

 Athos grunted. He knelt and examined, as closely as the tavern light allowed, the small, white, flawless hands, and the corners of the eyes of the corpse.

 He rose, shaking his head. “I can’t tell for sure,” he said. “She looks somewhat younger than our queen, that is true. But then, our queen has led a sheltered life. And she has no children. Both of these can make a woman look younger than she truly is. And then, I’ve never been that close to her majesty, though I’ve often seen her at court.”

 Porthos sighed. “Well, well,” he said. “I’ll go alert the guard then, right? No use us going on like this.”

Aramis gasped. “Porthos, I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. You can be a fool.”

 “A fool? I? How?”

 And there, they would be off on another round of the endless bickering that they enjoyed as much as other men enjoyed chess games.

 “He’s not a fool,” Athos cut in. “He’s simply not seeing the whole thing. If the murder of Anne of Austria leads to an invasion of our country, what are we as men of honor and musketeers to do?”

 “Defend France,” Porthos said.

 “Exactly. But, Porthos, by the time the armies of Europe converge on us it might be a little late to defend our country.”

 There was a silence. “Er…,” Porthos said. “Er…how are we supposed to defend France, then?”

 “By stealth,” the young man, D’Artagnan, said. “By not telling anyone who this woman is, or that we found her, or that she’s been murdered. By hiding the murder.”

 “That’s despicable,” Porthos said. “To hide a murder and let the murderer go free?”

“Hush, Porthos,” Athos said. “No one said anything about letting the murderer go free, but our friend the Gascon seems to know my mind better than I do, so I’ll let him speak.”

 D’Artagnan looked up at him, and he met the gaze with a half smile. The small man straightened himself in response, and turned away from the corpse, to face the other two musketeers. His hat, carefully clutched to his chest, was of an uncertain color between blue and black — as if the fabric had suffered one too many colorings. The two plumes were broken and half-bald, as if they had been played with by countless generations of toddlers.

“The thing is, if we say nothing and investigate the murder, then when we know who the murderer is, we can present it to someone — Monsieur de Treville, for example — who will then present it to the king. With proof and a well-reasoned explanation. So that when the king announces her majesty’s death to the crowned heads of Europe, he will be in a position to prove he did not cause her demise.”

 “Exactly,” Athos said, relieved he didn’t have to find the words to explain it. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

Porthos sighed. “But we’ll have to hide the body. For…days.”

Aramis sighed. “I know a man,” he said.

 Athos smiled, but managed not to say that this was strange as, in fact, Aramis normally knew women.

 Aramis glared at Athos, as if he knew the thought that had crossed his friends’ mind. “He is a curate in a little church near here, in the street of the Holy Martyrs. He has a cellar… Where he often keeps the bodies of people who die in Paris and whose relatives will come from the provinces to fetch them for burial. Or people whose names and relatives no one knows. He keeps them a while and if they’re not claimed, he pays for their burial himself. I suppose if the curate were another person, of different means, his basement would be a wine cellar, for it keeps amazingly cold even in this heat. And he keeps the bodies in coffins. All that could be holy and proper. It is his ministry, his vocation. Just as I feel that mine is to preach to those too comfortable in their sphere and with their wealth….”

 Athos nodded, forbearing to say anything about the methods Aramis used for that preaching. Aramis seemed to first demonstrate the sin so he could more easily bring the lady — it was always a lady — to repentance. “That would do,” he said. “Yes, that would do, handsomely.”

“But we’d share a dreadful secret,” Porthos said.

 “And have we not in the past?” Athos asked. His friends nodded. D’Artagnan, their new acquaintance, looked wide-eyed at them, but said nothing.

 “Well, then,” Aramis said. “I live close by. I’ll go home and send my servant, Bazin, with a message for my friend, the curate, to come with his wheelbarrow to collect the corpse, shall I?”

 “Yes,” Athos said. “That would be–“

 “No.” It was D’Artagnan, his voice full of urgency. “No,” he continued as all of them turned to look at him.

 “You don’t want us to solve this murder?” Athos asked.

 “You don’t want us to hide the body?” Aramis asked.

“You are too cowardly to aid in this?” Porthos asked.

 D’Artagnan shook his head. He looked from one to the other of them but, at last, he faced Athos.

 Athos felt as if the young man wanted to talk to him alone, as though having decided that Athos was the most likely to understand him. Or perhaps the least likely to shout him into silence or cast aspersions on his courage.

 Athos smiled a little, in encouragement, and the young man took a deep breath.

“What I meant,” D’Artagnan said. “Is that before we do this, there is something else we must decide. What if this isn’t the queen? What if she’s just someone who died because she resembled the queen? Or someone who was killed by a jealous lover, or a controlling husband, or a refused suitor?” He took another deep breath, and looked around at them.

 Athos, confused as to why this mattered, was sure that D’Artagnan met with equally blank expressions from Aramis and Porthos.

 D’Artagnan sighed. “Like this,” he said. “If this woman was murdered for some reason that has nothing to do with the king or the security of France, we’re doing her a disservice by hiding her body. It might be some time before her murder is revealed to the guard and even a few hours might allow the murderer to get away.”

 “But…,” Athos hesitated, not knowing how to explain it to the youth. “Surely the security of France–“

 “Yes,” D’Artagnan said, impatiently. “Yes, but… There is this woman too. If she’s neither the queen, nor murdered because she looks like the queen, then we should let the law catch her murderer. If we don’t, we’re wronging this woman.” He gestured broadly towards the corpse.

 “Oh,” Athos said, understanding it. Into his mind crept the memory of another unavenged murder — a countess of France left swinging from a low branch in the forest, her murderer unpunished. “Oh,” he said. “I think I see your meaning. If we hide this body, we’re committing ourselves to solving this murder, whoever the victim is.”

 He looked around at Aramis and Porthos. “Do you understand?”

 Surprisingly Porthos nodded, one second before Aramis.

 He swallowed, audibly. “It would be damnable,” he said, “to leave this woman’s murderer free and unpunished.”

 “Yes,” Aramis said.

 “Yes,” Athos said, wondering if her ghost would join the other by his bed, in the middle of the night. “Assuredly, D’Artagnan. You have the right of it. We will investigate this murder, no matter who the victim is.”

 “Or the murderer,” Porthos said.

 Athos looked towards him, wondering what was in his friends’ mind. But Porthos’s blue-grey eyes were unreadable. Athos inclined his head. A half nod. “Or the murderer,” he said.

 Before he quite knew what he was about, he pulled his sword out and extended it over the corpse. A salute of sorts.

 The Gascon seemed to understand what Athos was doing and pulled out his sword, holding it so that the tip just touched Athos’s. Aramis was next. And then Porthos.

“On our honor as gentlemen and musketeers,” Athos said. “We will find this woman’s murderer. Whether the woman be a queen or a beggar, we will see justice done,” he said.

 “One for all,”Aramis said.

 “And all for one,” the others completed in a chorus.

how go to http://nakedreader.com/ and they’ll sell you  the rest… (proofread, too, that one.) ;)

The Logic of Dreams

I woke up in the middle of the night with a perfect idea for something to blog about today.  It was brilliant, urgent and I knew just how to approach it.  It was so perfect in fact, that I closed my eyes and went back to sleep, ignoring the fact that I had a pencil and paper on the bedside table.  Needless to say when I woke up this morning I had not the faintest glimmer of what I was supposed to blog about.

It might come back again, during the day, with a sort of back-of-the-head clap of thunder that makes you sit up and go “Oh, but of course.  How could I have forgotten that?”  Or it may never return.  And it may be a good idea.  Or, had I actually made notes, this morning I might have found out the notes said “Hats for horses and chocolate ice cream.”

In that, sleep is like drug-experiences.  Yes, I DO have personal experience of those, thanks to being put on morphine post-giving-birth (I wrote Thirst!) and having injured myself severely enough a few times to be put on vicodin.  For the record, I’d rather endure any amount of pain even just below intolerable than actually take the stuff.  First, because I hate the feeling that I can’t control my own mind, and second because – being raised in SF – as my impressions of my surroundings become more disjointed I’m afraid of stepping through into some other reality.  Yeah, I am probably insane.  Call it personal deformation.  Frankly I never understood why any of my colleagues would want – much less need – drugs.  “Such things have I in mind…”  Yeah.

Anyway, actually I do understand why people would want to write while on drugs – or sleep deprived.  No, chill.  I will not start doping to write.  Remember, I hate to be out of control of my own mind.  I’m more likely to do it on sleep deprivation, anyway.  (Sleep?  What that?)

Okay, let me explain.  What I experienced last night is neither unusual nor particular to me.  I’m sure all of you have experienced it, if not with writing with something else.  You’ll fight and struggle through a problem in your wakening life, and then in the middle of the night you suddenly realize that it’s all about the drive shaft, after all.  Or the needles need to be made out of platinum.  Or that pleat in the back side needs to be in the center.  Or the whole point of the plot is that he can’t find the gun.

This is why creative people often keep a pad by the bed side.

I don’t usually because I’ve found that the good insights stay with me.  You could say I trained my mind to be a note pad.  This time I had the pad by the bedside, because I’ve been recasting some old short stories and was making notes on those before falling asleep.  I do have a pad in my purse or – usually – my jeans pocket, because, in this household, table conversation or car conversation can suddenly yield a story beginning or the germ of a story idea.

But I know both why people do this and why some people resort to drugs to write.  It’s because the story world we create is not complete if its all created with logic and in the forebrain.  That’s because the world isn’t like that.

I’ve decried the idea that we should write reality often enough, that I’m sure I don’t need to tell you now that’s not what I’m advocating.  What we create, as storytellers, is not reality.  We don’t even hold a mirror to reality.  No, what we create is a lucid dream state for our readers.  (Okay, some writers just create clever puzzles.  But even with Agatha Christie, whom I’ve heard accused of that, that’s not why I read her.)

For one, the world we create is logical.  Reality isn’t.  No, let me rephrase that.  Reality is logical but it has a huge slab of whimsy dropped in for good and ill.  That is because from you one point of view, you can’t know what everyone else in this huge world is doing.  If you could and you could compute it, you’d see it was all action/consequence, from the butterfly flapping its wings in India to the hurricane in Florida.  Or so I’m told at least.  The point is that no human being can do that.

By focusing on a smaller slice of reality, a writer can simulate that and satisfy the reader’s need for the action-consequence sequence.

Except…  Except that it’s not that easy.  Because we are used to real life, while we like the stories, they don’t feel quite right without at least one explained element or sequence.  It can’t be a Deus ex machina one.  Or if it is, it can’t feel like one.  It can’t solve all the character’s problems.  If it did, it would be no fun.  It should be only one incident/element/sequence.  AND it must remain unexplained.

What I’m thinking of here, specifically, is the Starman Jones episode where …  Was he guided by the dead navigator?  Or was he doing it all himself and his “feeling” was just a safety blanket?

I have a similar sequence in A Few Good Men.  It could honestly go either way.  The point is that at that point you have to drive the character to such an extreme state that the character himself isn’t sure if it’s a dream or not.  (Kip, half frozen, talking to the Suit while rescuing Pewee and the Mother Thing in Have Spacesuit.)

I fought it in A Few Good Men, because I don’t like the feeling that “an unexplained episode/element” helps my character.  But when I took it out, the book felt less real.

And that’s why some writers feel the need for drugs/sleep deprivation.  It’s the only way they can drop in the… shall we call it “mystic element” without trying to explain it away or pin it definitely as either a psychic/magical phenomenon or just an illusion.  Or, of course, they remove that element and impoverish the book.

Because even our own brain is not totally logical.  As I said, when we dream, we can suddenly have brilliant insights, and they can come from things that make no sense to the waking mind.  A lot of them still won’t.  Say, you know “Horse hats and chocolate ice cream because lizards have legs.”  BUT just as often (about half the time) you’ll find “Horse hats and chocolate ice cream.  Lizards have legs.  You need to center that drive shaft you moron.  That’s why the engine doesn’t work as designed.”  And if you had time and patience to analyze it, you’d find that your sleeping brain was in fact throwing together non-verbal impressions of how-things-work to get the insight, and that if you followed it back, with words, bit by bit, you could have the same insight… in a couple of years.

In other words, our brains don’t tell us everything they know.  They can’t.  They process a lot more info than we’re consciously aware of, and we short circuit them with logic and words when they try to tell us stuff.  (And even this is not right, since our brains are part of us, and not some mystical creature.)

So, yeah, I get why some of colleagues need to induce an altered state, to get to that point where they can create a solid dream-world that feels real to the reader.  There is a problem with using drugs to do it, though, beyond the obvious – for most of them – harmful side effects.  The problem is that habitual use seems to dull/have other effects on your non-doped brain.  And the only way to make the induced dream state work is to be able to step back and edit with the full rational mind.  Because then you can figure out whether the weird bit of unexplained insight makes sense or it’s just “Fishnet stockings.  Because lizards have legs.”

Mostly, as with most other things, I’m training myself to drop the mystical bits in while fully awake and rational – well, as rational as I am while writing, when it often seems like the WHOLE STORY is dictating itself.

And I don’t keep a pad by my bedside, because the good insights keep.  And the good ideas too.  And frankly I’m drowning in ideas, anyway.

As for that brilliant idea in the middle of the night?  No clue.  It was probably “Miller moths.  Cats have teeth.  Write shorter blog posts, you moron.”

Roll Around Heaven

One of the recurring themes of my blog is how to reconcile our image of what a writing job is with what it really is.  It is recurring because it’s something that keeps changing and also something I keep working on.

Working on?  Well, yes.  Because you see, how to keep writing and what writing is, and what it means and how to motivate yourself changes with your career and how you face things.  For instance, when you’re first breaking in and your income is effectively zero, it’s almost impossible to fend off home distractions.  Why?  Well, because even if you intend to make it a full time, paying job someday, for now it is essentially a hobby.  So, if your husband needs you to find the car insurance forms in one of the many boxes never unpacked after you moved, or even if your husband – or kid – has an hankering for banana bread, you feel like a right b*tch if you close the office door and go on writing instead of doing what they’d like.  (Mind you, I did this a lot.  You have to, or you’ll NEVER have a paying job.  OTOH I only did it about once every three times.  So, habits formed.  Bad habits all around, when the next change set in.)

And the next change is when I started getting paid, but we didn’t need the money for our living expenses.  I mean, it was nice, but my making or not making two hundred a year was not going to make a difference.  It was maybe two dinners out and a movie.  But I was getting paid, which encouraged me, and I tried to stay with writing.

Then came pro writing which pays not much, but pays enough to make the difference in our lifestyle between ‘close to the bone’ and ‘we can occasionally repair the car.’

It also requires a lot more concentration and a lot more decision on my part.  Because habits have been formed with the kids and even my husband (though of course, he’s a grown up and much better about this) about what is my responsibility and also how I’ll herd them and keep them on track when they let things go, I’m still expected to do a certain number of things around the house that often interfere with or get on top of my writing schedule.  Like… make sure college applications go out in time.  (Yeah, dropped that this time.  So…  Well, at least he got in one.)

Beyond that, for me to make enough to be significant, I’ve had to do more than one book a year.  The average is usually four, but sometimes six.  I also, not unusually, was researching and writing the next set of proposals, otherwise when I finished the books, I had NOTHING to do.  If you count proposals as half-books (they are.  I have to get in the voice, which is half of a book’s work) I actually wrote more like between six and eight books a year…  For the last ten years.

I know you people tend to think I get sick a lot.  I actually don’t, not compared to other people my age.  It’s just that I don’t have time to stop when I do.  Which means being sick for two weeks drags overdue work up to six months, as the deadlines ALL pile up.

Still, I’ve managed to do this for ten years, and I’ve formed this self image as the little engine that could.

And then this year, I hit a snag.  Actually it started at the end of last year (properly speaking, it probably started right after I had pneumonia fifteen years ago.  The meds that saved my life have peculiar side effects, and that’s when my weight went out of control and I started having night sweats so bad that I sometimes had to get up and change my nightshirt twice.)

However, doctors didn’t think there was anything wrong with me, and well…  Your body changes with time, right?  Until a little over a year ago when my hair started falling out by the handful – not enough to leave me bald, but enough to thin my (fortunately quite abundant) hair to about half the thickness.  With this came an inability to concentrate and other issues.

I’m a woman.  I’m almost fifty.  I thought “menopause” and so did the three doctors I saw about the issues.  Only they kept getting WORSE, particularly the inability to sleep at night and the issues with concentration.  It felt like going insane, and here’s the thing, if I can’t concentrate I can’t WORK.  And if I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight.

So in desperation, and after getting three months late on delivering the second book in the vampire musketeers’ series, I went to the doctor.  And discovered I was not menopausal.  What might be happening, on the other hand, is still open.  I should know by the middle of next month, hopefully.  Some paliative measures have made it possible for me to sleep at night and think, about as well as I normally do.

At the same time, starting in January, we started getting nibbled by ducks.  “Nibbled to death by ducks” is my expression for the little things that get in the way of writing.  You do one thing here, one thing there, you look back and the day is gone and nothing accomplished.  I finally lost it and got an office in March because otherwise no writing happened.  I was averaging two hours at the desk for writing, while TRYING to do it pretty much every waking moment.

The yearly nibbling has been stuff like deaths in the family but also a bunch of piddly stuff, like appliances failing, cats getting sick and home maintenance stuff – just a lot of it.

The office was cheaper per month than what I usually do to deal with this situation, which is take a week off at a hotel and I figured it would give me the same thing – a space where I’m isolated and allow my mind to enter the dream-writing state again.

It worked.  Sort of.  The office is a modified closet, which is no big deal.  How much room do a chick and her computer need?  BUT it linked to two other offices via hollow doors (permanently closed.)  The problem with these is that you hear EVERYTHING.  And one of my neighbors seems to do most of his business via phone.  So, this weekend with the help of a mattress pad cut in two (Hey, I’m only renting, and it’s temporary.  I don’t want to spend a lot of time) and two giant cork boards, I insulated the place.  Good, right?

Yeah, only last week I couldn’t use the office at all.  I didn’t tell y’all this, because it was a bad thing to announce over the net while it was happening, but my husband and my younger son were both out of town on separate business trips.  This required me to be within reach of a computer, if they needed me to find out something for them, (like, fix my son’s cell phone account.)  So I was home pretty much every day.  No problem, I said.  “I’ll go to the office every day next week.”

So, yesterday, I take a nice Sunday walk with older son and halfway through it… Yep.  I have a bad case of stomach flu.  This makes the idea of going to the office semi-daunting.  At the same time I feel I should go.

There have been consequences to my scatter brainedness.  For instance, the publishers of the vampire musketeers cancelled books two and three two weeks after book one came out.  Now, while I was late with book two – by five months – I was literally about to finish it and send it in (a week, maybe.)  I understand they’re a small company and perhaps they couldn’t handle the delay.  I don’t know.

The money wasn’t much per book, and the series itself requires a certain mind set I was having trouble getting into.  I worked on it for six months and until I got the office, what I had was… disjointed and possibly stream of alien consciousness.  (Well, it wasn’t MY consciousness.)  It doesn’t affect me much monetarily and in many ways it’s a relief, allowing me to concentrate on the space operas my mind wants to write.  It upsets me because of readers, but Sword and Blood is a complete book plus a teaser, so if you don’t read the teaser for the next book at the end, you still get a full novel.  Besides, the other two will get published when rights to the first revert.  (I promise.)

BUT… but…

BUT it goes against my image that I do not break contracts; I never fail to deliver (even when health and other things make me horribly late); I’m the little engine that could.

I didn’t realize how much I was beating myself up over this until I read Kris Rusch’s column this week.  (Read the whole thing, you owe it to yourself.) I owe Kris this type of sanity check more times than I can mention.

When I took their professional workshop, I was in the first group and didn’t have the game they introduced later, a game that attempted to simulate the effect of luck and chance in a writing career.  You got life rolls – your health went out of kilter; your relatives died; your house burned down and you had to continue working around them, which meant sometimes stopping working and dealing with them.

Kris’ column is just about that, and it made me realize I did what I could, there was no more I could do, and writing is not a suicide pact.  I can’t write with a mind not affected by health issues and distractions.  My mind is in my body, and both are the only ones I have.

Did that make me stop beating myself up?  Ah!  Don’t I wish.  So, does that mean that since I have the stomach flu today I won’t be going to the office?  I don’t know, I haven’t decided because I don’t know how bad it is today yet.  To figure that out I need to be on my feet and doing stuff.

But I’m trying to follow Kris’ rule and – given I can’t infect anyone at my office – if I’m doing okay I might go down and work half day – in other words, do what I would do if I had a real job.  If I’m not doing okay, I’m going back to bed.

I’m trying to understand life rolls and not complicate them by keeping trying to push through them.  It’s not easy.  I don’t know if I’ll manage it.  But I’ll try.  I’ll try to treat myself as a person and be kind to myself.  I’m my own boss, but I’m only the only employee I have.  Abusing myself will just end the business.

You know what?  As guilty as I feel over paying for the office, then not going in for over a week – I think I’ll go back to bed.  Tomorrow is time enough to work, and I’m more likely to be able to if I don’t make myself sicker.

Good night, y’all.

But I don’t WANNA Be Cured

“The truth is, I’ve got a monkey on my back, a habit worse than marijuana though not as expensive as heroin.  I can stiff it out and get to sleep anyway……..  The fact is I am a compulsive reader.  Thirty-five cents’ worth of Gold Medal Original will put me right to sleep.  Or Perry Mason.  But I’ll read the ads in an old Paris-Match that has been used to wrap herring, before I’ll do without.”  Robert A. Heinlein, Glory Road.

My name is Sarah A. Hoyt, and I’m a reader.  Unlike my struggle with writing, which more closely resembles an unhappy love affair, where I’ve walked away several times, only to be pulled back by the stories that form spontaneously in my head, I can’t say I’ve tried very hard to give up reading.

This is weird, because any way you look at it, reading is expensive.  And like with any drug, once you’re good and hooked on a series, you’ll do anything to get the next fix.  Anything, including but not limited to spending the grocery money for the week because, well, you can live without eating for a week, but you can’t live without reading for a day.

You know you’re an addict when you face this dilemma and the little voice at the back of your head goes all helpful.  “Buy it,” it says.  “Think about it.  Food you can only eat once, but books you can re-read for years.  You are holding cumulative days of enjoyment in your fingers.  Buy it, I say.”  (If this were the little cartoon demon sitting on my left shoulder, he’d be wearing glasses and carrying his own little book.)

Part of it, as in any addiction, is habit.  I won’t say that I don’t remember a time I couldn’t read, because it’s not precisely true.  But it’s only not precisely true because I also remember learning to walk.  So I remember lying on my stomach on a sun-warmed patio with a stack of comic books and trying to remember what the words were that my brother had read to me when I last had that book in hand.  I know I was reading – and attempting to write – by four.  For this my brother – nine years older and with no resistence to nagging – is largely to blame, since he read me those same comic books over and over again.  It also helped that Portuguese is largely phonetic.  But most of the blame must go to my parents who had absolutely no concept of “age appropriate reading.”

When I entered fifth grade, I was shocked to find most of my classmates were still reading lavishly illustrated books with more pictures than words, and on subjects as exciting as “Anita” (the girl who did everything in Portuguese children’s books) “Takes an airplane trip.”  I’m not saying I didn’t read those too.  Of course I did.  Some of my less than clued relatives gave them to me for my birthday or Christmas.  I didn’t mind, except that of course, they didn’t last very long at all.  And by that time I was fully into Clifford Simak and Robert A. Heinlein and Asimov and Anderson and Rex Stout and Earle Stanley Gardner and Agatha Christie.

Actually birthdays and Christmas were a great source of annoyance.  You see, my parents didn’t allow me to tell the sweet old relatives that I just wanted money.  That was unmannerly.  But as short on money for books as I always was, the best I could do out of those festive occasions, should the relatives be informed that I liked to read and read Science Fiction, was Jules Verne or H. G. Wells.  Until I was old enough to go to school in the big city nearby and discovered I could exchange books at the bookstores, I read all of Verne and H. G. Well, of course.  The problem was that they weren’t “real” science fiction.  Not about the future as I’d like it to be.  Also, the translations were often awful.  But I read EVERYTHING.

I read Dumas (yes, all of them, even the ones that appear to have been paid by the word) and Sir Walter Scott and Twain.  My parents eventually told my relatives that it would be easier to give me Portuguese Historical novels or history books.  And even later, they sort of gave up and started giving me money to buy books.

By that time my brother and I were on an equal footing as addicts.  Often the only money we could spare would buy us half of that month’s science fiction release (one book per month, yes.)  To this day he chortles that my marrying an American saved us the epic fight we’d otherwise have had over who got to keep those part-ownership books.

Portugal doesn’t have – or didn’t in my day – public lending libraries.  Not even subscription libraries as those found in Regency England.  It has a public library but it is more like our library of congress.  And every new school I entered had what they called a “library”, usually stocked by some well meaning lady in the previous century.  So, did I read the manuals of young ladies’ deportment and lives of saints that those mostly consisted of?  Duh.  They were print.  And any print is better than going without.  BUT being me and unable to leave well enough alone, I thought of all those kids who wouldn’t be so lucky as to come from a family of bibliophiles with hundreds of books laid by and hidden everywhere from the attic to the potato cellar.  Every school I ever attended I started a library club which held fundraisers to buy books, and which requested of the parents one book for the library, in commemoration of their kid’s graduation.  Even in college, I vastly improved the American Library.  Okay, at least I filled it with Science Fiction.  I think it was an improvement.  (I’ve wondered, if I can get the address, if we could convince Baen to donate to it.)

When I became an exchange student, in 12th grade, for the first time I entered a house with no books.  No, this is no disparagement of my host family.  My host mother, particularly, was very kind to me and responsible for who I am today.  But they weren’t readers.  Not really.  My host brother and sister read magazines, but that was about it.

So… my first day in the US, in Stow Ohio, I made them take me to a bookstore.  I bought Assignment In Eternity.  Then I found the public library.  You lucky sons and daughters, you don’t know how good you have it.  I volunteered at the library because then I could check out unlimited books.  And I did.

When I found myself newly wed and broke, we set aside 3 quarters of our entertainment money for books.  And like all junkies, we quickly discovered where we could get the most book for the money.

Now, when I’m hard pressed and under the gun, I might just reread the familiar, so that I can put it down and go back to work.  A riveting book can cost me five hours work time, you know?  I start it and then have to finish it.  Heck, I can only exercise to audio books, which is costing me a small fortune.

And yet, I don’t want to be cured.  Let them say we read this much because we can’t handle reality.  I say reality is for wusses who can’t handle fiction.

The Enemy

Yesterday I echoed the following on my facebook page.

Of course, long time readers of my blog are giggling and going “How Sarah” though I assure you I don’t make these mistakes on purpose.  I make them through a combination of two things: incipient dyslexia and the fact that these posts are normally made either late night or early morning.

Needless to say no more had this comic gone up than someone chimed in with that hoary old chestnut of “Anything worth doing is worth doing well” and someone else came in to defend her vigorously on the grounds that “not proofreading or spell checking your blog shows a lack of respect for yourself and your readers, and whether its paid or not, I should be offered the best the blogger can produce.”

Um…  ’Mkay.  So, let’s examine the economics of my life, particularly now that indie publishing has come into “how I make my money” even if, so far, in a very minor fashion.  And that Indie publishing takes time.  And then we’ll explore that lovely Puritan aphorism about what is worth doing.

To begin with – and by way of confession – I haven’t done any indie publishing in a couple of months.  The conjunction of my trying to finish overdue books with the end of year stuff that affects even parents of young men (as in, graduation ceremonies, award ceremonies, making sure they have their stuff for finals, making sure they don’t forget their own heads while very busy with other stuff) has joined with a spate of breaking stuff in the house, and odd health stuff to rob me of the five hours or so a week that I need for my labor of putting up my short story (and novella) back list.

I’ve also been, I’m sure you noticed, more laid back with the blog, having got more guests in and such to fill in my inability to blog every day.

This is just as an illustration of how close to the bone my time management is.  Throw in a wobble in one area and other things have to give.  They have to, because I still need to eat, go to the bathroom and — occasionally — sleep.

However, most of the year – when not in crunch time – I do blog every day.  I blog for three reasons.

First because I suspect a lot of you would never have heard of me except through this blog.  In that sense this blog is like an extended meet-the-author chat session which will, hopefully, lead to better sales for my paid work.  Eventually.

Second I blog because I’m a kinetic thinker.  I know that sounds weird, but I’m the sort of person who can’t figure out how to assemble a piece furniture, except by doing it.  I learned my letters through copying them, memorized stuff by copying it, and think best by typing.  Sometimes the sort of moral/philosophical stuff I blog about here is me trying to unknot a dilemma in my current book.

Third, I blog as a sort of free-writing exercise.  Lots of disciplines advise this as a cure against the block.  Five pages in the morning, or whatever.  This blog serves that principle for me.

Having found over my years of keeping a blog at livejournal and writing in it only when the spirit moved me that the only way to develop a following is to make it into an habit for the reader – and for that it needs to be daily – I strive to post something every day.  Having given up on the idea of just echoing things, because what I have to offer is more analytic than breezy, I tend to make rather long posts.

So, every morning I roll out of bed and write 2 to 3k words at a sitting.  (Unless I have time to do them on Sunday afternoon, and then I burn the entire afternoon writing five posts.)

I try to make sure of several things as I’m posting them: that they’re interesting or quirky – which is judged by whether they interest ME – that they make internal sense, that I check any obvious references (though sometimes one escapes me mostly through my knowing something that just ain’t so), and that my spelling and grammar are understandable.

This last involves my running a spell checker, then reading over twice – once before and once after it’s posted.  (Don’t ask me why, but some mistakes only become glaring when it’s posted.)

Contrast this with the process I go through before I send a short story to an editor (let alone publish it.)  There I not only do the spell checker, but I print it out, go over it carefully not just for typos but for flow of language, then enter the changes, then print it out and do it again, then have a friend or ten read over it and see if he/she/they can catch any other typos or places where my logic went awry.  Even for a very short short, this will take something like three hours not counting friend/s time (which I pay back by doing same service for them.)

Now imagine me doing this, every morning, with my posts.  They take about an hour to write, even short ones, and maybe half an hour to check.  This means I’m working on them 10 hours a week.  Add in even just two prints/checks and the friend pay-back time per blog, and I’d be working 30 hours a week.  For free.

For free, you say?  But I thought you did it for publicity.  And besides there’s that button up there for donations.  Uh.  yeah.  The button nets maybe $25 a month, on a good month, most of it, incidentally, for the fiction.  As for the publicity, I THINK it’s working, (if I ever think it’s not, the blogging stops, of course) but it’s an indirect and slow process.   What do I mean by that?  Well, most people – understandably.  Would I be complaining? – will first buy my books used, to try out.  On those I get nothing.  Then, because I still don’t have any indie novels, they will buy the traditionally published ones.  Again, not complaining.  But I get at most a few cents per book.

My goal is to grow the audience so that eventually when I bring novels out indie, the money comes to me and is significant.  It’s worth a gamble.  BUT right now (two kids in/entering college, four cats, and in a precarious job market for both writers and mathematicians – I’m not seeing a huge influx of pocket money from this endeavor.  As is it is costing me money because when I’m blogging everyday I’m not writing my non-fiction articles, which do  pay (even if not crazy amounts.)

Ten hours unpaid a week and a small financial loss is doable, given what else it serves.  I consider it a loss leader.  Thirty hours means my output of the stuff I DO get paid for is cut in half, or I give up sleeping – I’m sorry to disappoint perfectionists, but I don’t feel a need to kill myself to please them.

So what about “Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well”? – note the well, not PERFECTLY.  A friend of mine who is a professional editor, and one of the best editors I know (I hire him when I can afford to.  It isn’t often) once told me that even if you have a team of copyeditors working for you (which he did at one point, since he worked in scholastic publications where the scientific writing had to be checked and rechecked a number of times) and have each copyeditor initial each line, to ensure they didn’t just glaze for half a page, a careful reader will still find typos.

Having had over twenty novels published, which go through WEEKS of my checking them, then paying someone to check them, then sending them to my (sometimes excellent) editors/publishers, who then pay someone to copyedit and have someone else in the office check the copyeditor’s work, AND finding any number of typos in the printed book, I’m here to tell you it’s true.

If you definition of “doing well” is “Perfect” you’re going to do one of two things.  I’ve seen both among writers, and they’re both deadly. One is to forever rewrite the same novel (or, heaven help us, the same short story) over and over and over again for years.  The other is to do nothing because you can’t “do it well.”

Either of these in fact are illustrations of “The perfect is the enemy of the good.”

Does this mean I don’t have respect for my work or my readers?  Oh, please.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t even spell check what I put up.  (Okay, sometimes I typo the titles because I type those directly into the browser.  I usually catch it, though.)  I certainly wouldn’t try to make sure it makes internal sense.  And my readers would be my four cats and maybe my husband when he has time.

Look, it takes a certain amount of work to get something 90% done.  And then another equal amount of work to get it the other 5% to 95% of perfection.  (You’re never going to get to 100%.  It’s part of the human condition.  Deal.)  For the books I do the other 50% of the work.  (It takes me as long to check/edit/polish as to write a book.  And I’m a relatively clean first drafter as my first readers can attest.  But the final pass is detail work and FUSSY.  I’m willing to do it for books – and stories – because those are hopefully going to be around a long time.  Blogs?  It’s a daily page, and even though the old ones are there, they’re pretty much only read when someone hits it through a word search.  They’re also usually read by people in the same spirit newspapers or opinion columns were read.  90% is usually enough.

I’m not saying this as an excuse for sloppy writing.  Of course I do my best in whatever time I have to devote to the endeavor.  And so should you.

I’m saying it to remind everyone that the “perfect” is the enemy of the good – it is the ENEMY of HUMAN, period – and unattainable anyway.  If you feel disrespected because there’s a word missing from one of my blog posts (or three words missing.  Or two typos) you probably have other issues.  It is the equivalent of going off into a froth because your mom made you an omelet for breakfast and didn’t plate it perfectly, with a little bit of orange and a sprig of mint, just like your favorite chef at your favorite brunch place does…  Instead of being happy your mom rolled out of bed and made you an omelet at all, before she had coffee.

Most of the people who devote themselves to obsessive typo hunting in other people’s blogs are people who feel inadequate – perhaps because they don’t think they can blog, since they can’t be perfect – and the typo-hunt is a way of attempting to bring others down and elevate themselves.  “Well, I might not blog, but if I did, I’d catch that typo.”  To them I say, “Give it a try.  Find out how hard it is.  Get your self-esteem by doing it, not by pointing out flaws in the product.  Mote, meet Speck.”

Then there are the ones who simply feel entitled.  Nothing but the best will do for them, and how dare you put an inferior concoction in front of my exalted self? It reminds me of the Far Side Cartoon where the dog has mowed the yard all in a scramble of lines and the owner is saying “bad dog” instead of being amazed and grateful the dog mows at all.  To those people I say – like people with a fine palate who must eat only at the best restaurants, you sir or madam are too refined to read mere unpaid blogs.  You should confine yourself to writing that’s not published till after it’s checked by layers of proofreaders and fact checkers.  (SNORT.)

If we get to the point you think a lot of my posts are well nigh incomprehensible or typo riddled to the point of inanity, then I will have fallen below my definition of doing it well and find it not worth doing.

On the other hand, until/unless such a time arrives, or until/unless I decide that my compensation is simply not enough for the labor involved, I’ll go on doing it “as well as I can in the time I have.”  Hopefully that is enough for most of you.

Pushing Books

I’m echoing Amanda Green’s post at Mad Genius Club here.  I’ll also post in two hours or so, but for now I’ll let you sample stuff.  Hey, it’s Saturday, the family is home, and I want some family time.

It’s time for your friendly neighborhood pusher of books to come out to tempt you with snippets of the recently published or soon to be published. Enjoy!

#     #     #     #

Darkship Renegades
Sarah A. Hoyt
Baen – December 2012

Out of the Frying Pan

I was a princess from Earth and he was a rogue spaceman from a mythical world. He saved my life three times. I rescued him from a fate worse than death. We fell madly in love.

We married and lived happily ever after.

Ever after comes with an expiration date these days. We’d been married less than year when Kit got shot in the head.

It started with our return from Earth. No. Wait, what it really started with was my meeting Kit, in the powertrees which are biological solar collectors in Earth orbit. They were put up way back when bio-engineered rulers governed the Earth. And ever since the turmoils sent the bio-engineered rulers – you probably know them as Mules so called because, of course, they couldn’t reproduce – fleeing the Earth in a ship called Je Reviens, the powertrees have been haunted by legends of darkship thieves.

Which is all anyone ever thought the darkship thieves were. After all, even if the mules really had left in an interstellar ship, and of course, there are doubts that the ship ever existed, why would they come back to harvest powerpods from the powertrees – the biological solar energy collectors in Earth orbit?  And why would no one else see them but powerpod collectors?

I found out the legend was less legendary than advertised when a mutiny aboard Daddy Dearest’s space cruiser sent me fleeing in a lifeboat into the powertrees. Where I met Kit who rescued me and took me to his homeworld, Eden.

Eden is where all the bioed servants of the mules stayed behind, instead of going to the stars with their masters. They had perhaps had enough of being ruled by Mules, which considering what the mules did to the Earth I couldn’t really blame them for, but they also couldn’t live on Earth, since this was the time of the turmoils and anyone with even a hint of bio-improvement would get killed in a horrible way.

So, they’d stayed behind in Eden, which is an asteroid they hollowed inside. Its naturally erratic orbit hides it from Earth detection. But it still needs power. And for its power it depends on darkships, which are ships built to be non reflective and pretty much undetectable, provided they harvest while the powertrees are in Earth shadow.

Each of the darkships is piloted by a Cat – no, they are wholly human, but they are bioengineered so their eyes resemble those of cats, and also so that they had very fast reflexes – and a Navigator whose memory, mechanical skill and sense of direction were bio-enhanced to make him or her ideal to help steer darkships which cannot have any of its data in a form Earth might capture if it captures a darkship.

Which until recently was very much an unfounded fear. No darkship had ever been captured… Until the Good Men of Earth realized that I must have been taken up by a darkship and started an all out search for me.

By then I was Kit’s Navigator, and married to him, a combination that’s not mandatory but has grown to be expected. His cat-like eyes, his reflexes, had ceased to seem alien. And when I was radiation burned in an attempt to capture me, he chose to surrender to Earth to save me, instead of following procedure and killing both of us, and destroying the ship, leaving Earth nothing but a burned out hull.

It had paid off for us, we’d come back out of Earth alive and I’d been healed of the radiation burn.

The problem was the return to Eden. I had no idea how Eden would react to news that not only had we failed to self-destruct, but we’d chosen to land on Earth and seek treatment. It was probably useless to try to get forgiveness for this by explaining we’d left a good portion of the Earth in flames behind us, and probably a revolution brewing.

Eden had been colonized by refugees of a persecuted people, by people who never, ever ever again would trust any authority. I’m not saying that Eden was paranoid, because worlds can’t be paranoid. But if Eden had been an individual, he’d live in a compound with motion-sensor-triggered burners at every entrance and would fingerprint his own children twice a day to make sure no one had slipped ringers in on him.

So, three months after we left Earth, we hailed Eden on approach.

Kit has said you could land on the surface of the asteroid that contained Eden and never guess that there was a thriving civilization inside. I don’t know if that’s true. Never tried it. I don’t like to take his word for it. He could be wrong. But I did know we could not land IN Eden unless they let us. Well, not intact. Kit had once threatened to ram his ship into the asteroid, and from the reaction, this was possible even if it would kill us. It was impossible to get into the landing tunnels – whose covers didn’t even show to radar – without someone inside letting us in. Whoever said knock and it shall be opened had Eden in mind.

We called on the link. Kit reached for my hand and squeezed it, hard, while his other hand pressed the com link button. “Cat Christopher Bartolomeu Sinistra and Nav Athena Hera Sinistra, piloting the  Cathouse on behalf of the Energy Board. I request permission to land.”

My heart beat somewhere between my esophagus and my mouth. And don’t tell me that’s a physiological impossibility. I know what I felt. Given just a little more nervousness, my heart would have jumped out of my mouth and flopped around the instrument panel like a landed fish.

There was a silence from the other side, long enough for my heart to almost stop. I took a deep breath, two and told myself that if Eden didn’t want us, we’d go back to Earth, or perhaps to Ultima or Proxima Thule, Eden’s two water-mining colonies.

Not only was I bluffing, I knew I was bluffing. To make it elsewhere we’d need food and fuel and a world that rejected us wouldn’t be likely to hand over rations and powerpods. All that kept me from shaking was the impression of Kit’s mind, warm and amused.

We could mind-talk, an ability bio engineered into pilot and navigator couples in his world and engineered into me for a completely different purpose. Most often it was much like talking in voice, only we could do it privately or over a great distance. In extreme circumstances, we could connect at a deep deep level, but that wasn’t sustainable. It didn’t help preserve sanity not knowing which body went with your mind. But sometimes, like now, there was just the impression of feelings. And the feelings Kit was giving off were reassurance and amusement. Which meant he was lying.

But it would be a pity to waste his effort, so I managed a half smile in his general direction, as the voice of Eden’s Dock Control crackled over the link: “The  Cathouse is more than six weeks late. It has been entered in the roll of losses. Cat Christopher Sinistra and Nav Athena Sinistra are dead.”

I registered the little shock I always felt at hearing Kit called by my surname. It was Eden’s custom, though not mandatory, to have the husband take the wife’s name.

“Not really,” I cut in. I felt almost boneless with relief. I hate bureaucracy as much as anyone else, but not nearly as much as I hate exploding. That they were talking instead of burning us out of the sky was a very good sign. “Only late.”

“You cannot be late. You only had fuel for a four month trip. Three weeks later you’d be out of reserves and dead. You–”

“We were down on Earth,” I said .

The silence didn’t last long, but it gave the impression of being a very large silence. The type of silence that could envelop and swallow a whole fleet of darkships. Then the answer came, sounding like a clap of thunder announcing the beginning of a storm. “What?” the Controller asked. “You were where?”

Kit cleared his throat. I could see him reflected in the almost completely dark screens in front of him: his eyes bioengineered for piloting in total darkness looked like cat eyes, glimmering green and very wide open, in worry. His calico-colored hair seemed vivid and garish against his suddenly colorless skin. It was an accidental mutation caused by the same virus that had given him the cat-like eyes, super-human coordination and speed of movement. Without the modifications to his eyes and hair, Kit would have been a redhead, so his skin was normally that shade of pale that can turn unhealthy-looking at the slightest disturbance. Now he looked white and grey, like spoiled milk. Even if he continued to lie at me with an amused and calm mind-projection and his voice sounded firm and clear, his face gave him away, “Nav Sinistra had radiation poisoning and we stopped on Earth for regen treatment.”

“You stopped on Earth for treatment?”

I swallowed hard, to prevent having to grope for my heart somewhere on the control board.

“Well, it wasn’t that simple, but yes,” Kit said. “I’ll be glad to tell you the whole story after we land.”

“You’d better, Cat.” He pronounced Kit’s professional title as an insult. The term “pilot” had long since become “cat” in Eden. “ And you’d better make it convincing. This is most irregular.”

“Controller,” I said, thinking it was time to add another consideration to his decision. “We must land. Kit’s family is expecting us.” Kit’s birth family, the DeNovos, were socially powerful in Eden. His sister Kath would have been a force to be reckoned with in any size society. It was a good thing she’d been born in Eden. If she had been on Earth, she’d probably now be sole supreme ruler of the whole world, a feat slightly more difficult to achieve on Eden which had no rulers of any sort, much less supreme ones.

Another silence and the Dock Controller’s voice sounded dour as it came back,  “Navigator Sinistra, if you delayed your collection run for personal reasons, you have to know that the Energy Board will fine you for the delay in supply, and all the boards will want to interview you for potential breaches of security. Also–”

“I know, Controller. Now, could you give us a dock number, please?  Before I go crazy and just give my Cat instructions to dash at Eden in the area of the landing control station. We earthworms are so temperamental”

Kit chuckled aloud, then stopped with an intake of breath. His mental impression wavered a little allowing me to see some fear beneath the amusement.

“Dock fifty five, but I want you to know that I shall have armed hushers ready and that you will be examined for any evidence of undue influence and that–”

I flicked the comlink off. A sleeve-like structure extruded from Eden and Kit piloted us into it, then leaned back as dock remote controls took over the navigation. His foot skimmed along the floor next to him, flicking up the lever that turned off our artificial gravity now that we were covered by Eden’s. Not that keeping it on would give us double the gs, but one could interfere with the other and cause some really interesting localized gravity effects.

It wasn’t until our ship settled into one of the landing bays, that Kit released the seatbelt that crisscrossed his chest, and, without letting go of my hand, got up and said, “You know, you really shouldn’t have taunted the controller.”

I got up in turn. I knew. One of the first rules I’d been taught was never to pick on people. The second was probably to always be gracious.

I’d been born the only daughter Good Man Milton Alexander Sinistra, one of fifty men who controlled the near-endless land and resources of Earth. My parents, my nannies, the heads of various boarding schools, the commanders of various military academies, and the psychological medtechs that ran several rest homes, sanatoriums and mental institutions upon which Daddy Dearest had wished me, had all told me I had an aggression problem and must control my impulses.

If I had followed their instructions I wouldn’t be alive now. And neither would Kit. Something Kit knew very well, which was why he put his arm around me and smiled as he shook his head.

We walked like that through two air locks, then waited while the last door cycled open, letting us see that we were in one of the cavernous, circular bays that admitted ships to Eden. An out of use bay, because there were no power pod unloading machines nearby. Instead, a large group of young men, all armed, stood in front of our ship’s door all aiming their burners directly at us.

To the left side and a little behind the young men stood two older men, a dark haired one and a blond one.

The dark haired one was the dock controller. He wore the grey uniform of the position, and he had that harassed, frustrated look of someone who was sure he’d been born to better things, but who found himself confined to an inglorious desk job.

The blond was something else altogether different. To begin with he didn’t wear any uniform, but a well cut black suit consisting of something much like an Elizabethan doublet and leg-outlining pants, tailored to make the wearer look good, whether he did so when naked or not. The fabric shimmered with the dull shine of real silk and conveyed an unavoidable sense of wealth and sensuousness. The face, above the suit, was sharp and vaguely threatening. He looked like a young Julius Caesar or at least a Julius Caesar from a world where people didn’t lose their hair unless they chose to.

It was the blond man who spoke. His words had far more force than if they’d been spoken by a mere bureaucrat. “Cat Christopher Bartolomeu Sinistra,” he said, each syllable dropped in place like an essential part of exacting machinery. “You are under arrest for treason against Eden.”

#     #     #     #

Book 1 of The Vampire Con Series
ConVent – Book 1 The Vampire Con Series

ConSensual
Kate Paul
Naked Reader Press – June 2012

1. Consensual Encounters

Nothing says you’ve left normal reality like walking into a hotel lobby and seeing a Clone Trooper chatting with a Sith Lord. The sign on the back of the Clone Trooper’s armor, ‘Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies. Tonight. Room 1226’, was really just corroborating evidence.

The lure of Dark Side cookies notwithstanding, I took myself to the reception desk and got myself signed in. I’ll give them this: the staff didn’t seem at all upset by the strangeness manifesting in their hotel. Maybe it’s a southern USA thing, but none of the southern con hotels I’ve been in have ever been anything less than welcoming.

Well, unless the convention was sharing space with one of the more fundamentalist religious conventions.

ConSensual being one of the bigger southern conventions, I doubted that would be an issue. It was held in one of those sprawling southern cities that takes about five times the land area of a northern city to hold the same population, and usually has so many hotels it’s not hard for any one event to make an exclusive booking.

Whatever they do with them outside the convention season isn’t my business.

I can never keep the hotels straight. This one was one of those modernist faux-elegant jobs with lots of shiny metal and glass, a multi-level gallery area where all the ballrooms and convention areas were, the inevitable bar and house of bad coffee, and the tower containing the actual rooms off to one side.

Since it sat in the middle of one of the less salubrious parts of the city — or at least it looked that way coming in on the airport shuttle — I expected there would be some interesting late night encounters.

I dropped my backpack off in my room: as always, several levels away from the party floor. I’d been able to book the northern side of the hotel this time. After the last con, where a murderous lunatic had crushed garlic into the air vent and opened the curtains while I slept, I was a little paranoid about sunlight and other things.

Yeah, I’m a vampire. I drink blood. Most of the rest is myth, but I am violently allergic to garlic, and while I’m old enough to go walking in the sun that doesn’t mean I like it.

I’d also taken the precaution of registering and signing for my room with one of my alternate identities. I keep a few for backup, in case something happens. Last con, it had, with a vengeance. You don’t get more ‘something’ than a nutcase performing ritual sacrifices so they can summon Himself Below.

Anyone looking for my hotel room using the name I was registered in with the con would find precisely nothing.

My room was decorated in modernist Hotel Awful, complete with the kind of paintings on the walls that made you wonder who was having who on. This set looked like someone had splattered paint around, ridden a bike through it, then cut up the canvas and sold the results. A similar pattern adorned the bedspread and the upholstery on the chairs. At least everything else was basic beige.

One thing I’d learned from years going to cons, it was always possible to get more mind-bogglingly tasteless.

Back in the lobby area, I braved the con registration queue to collect my badge and the little plastic bag with the program and half a dozen flyers, then scanned the area to see if any of the immortal regulars had arrived yet.

The usual mix of convention exotica mingled and chatted, some costumed, some not. The inevitable Klingons clustered with Clone Troops and Imperial Stormtroopers — possibly giving tips on how to hit the side of a barn at point blank range. A woman in what could only be described as Regency in Space chatted with a White Witch whose pointy hat was at least as tall as she was. The construction had to be reinforced with wire because there was no other way it could have stayed upright. The thing probably made a functional antenna, and with the way the wide brim drooped to cover her ears I gave it maybe half an hour before people were speculating it was an alien mind control device. I knew she was a white witch because her hat and dress were white. She even had a white wand, although thankfully it didn’t have a star on the end. That would have been too much.

This being the south, there were any number of corseted women, although all of them seemed to have forgotten that the usual location of a corset is under the clothing. The inevitable uplift certainly distracted the fanboys. Precisely why the corsets should be paired with tied on wings that could be either butterfly or fairy wings depending on your viewpoint wasn’t something I intended to investigate. Some things are best left to the imagination. Or preferably, forgotten altogether.

At least there were no chain mail bikinis yet. Hopefully with the hotel air conditioning set to the typically southern preference of ‘glacial’, there wouldn’t be any. Not that I was holding my breath or anything.

Well, not until I saw who was sitting out front, eying the con-goers with the kind of disapproval that should have had them dropping dead of sheer fright.

He wasn’t here for the con. I’d bet my life on that. I might never have met him, but everything I’d heard about him suggested that he’d find fen irritating at best, and most of the authors offensive. What he’d think about the publishers — particularly the demonic ones — didn’t bear scrutiny.

I hoped I was wrong, and he was just some random businessman who happened to have a rather strong resemblance to one Vlad Tepes, also known as Dracula. The closer I got to him, the less likely that seemed.

For starters, he was definitely a vampire. I can pick most immortals by scent: it takes a vampire older and stronger than me to mask the faint cold smell of my kind, and then… well, nothing smells of nothing at all. No scent meant old, powerful, and probably not with good intentions.

He was also the right age — five hundred years, give or take a few. Him being awake in the middle of the day meant only that he’d grown strong enough to tolerate daylight and lose the sense of time that protects younger, weaker vampires. For a vampire his age to tolerate daylight, he had to be stronger than most, which fitted with the bits and pieces known about the man. If this truly was Dracula, the likelihood of him limiting himself was somewhere close to the chances of the sun rising in the west.

I could reasonably assume that he had given up his favorite means of execution: this wasn’t an era when putting people on sticks and letting them die slowly was something that could be done discreetly. That didn’t mean he hadn’t found other ways of torturing people who got in his way.

All of which meant that since I was the only immortal regular around, I had to warn him off. Joyous.

At least this didn’t count as saving the world. Once was enough for that.

He watched me through eyes that slowly grew wider and more intent as I approached. Not that I bothered to hide what I am, since there wasn’t any point deceiving anything weaker than me and anything stronger would see straight through that kind of deception. It’s one of those woo-woo tricks that always struck me as kind of silly.

He wasn’t hiding anything either, and he was stronger than his age would suggest. From what I knew about the man, he was probably about as pissy and stubborn as I am, which tends to make a vampire get stronger faster than normal. Something about not giving up when you’re beaten.

It wasn’t really that obvious who he was: his hair was unremarkably short, and he was clean shaven, which did a lot to change his appearance. It’s just that when someone gets as much infamy as Dracula does, just for being a vampire, it’s worth my while to make sure I know who he is and what he looks like, in case I run into him.

Stoker might have been way off on a lot of things, but it’s worth making sure. Sometimes there’s a seed of truth in all the nonsense, you know?

The upholstery here looked like white leather. I’d be willing to bet it was a good looking fake. Like they were in every hotel I’d been in, the chairs were that awkward not quite comfortable enough to stay in but damned hard to get out of shape which I swear is custom designed just for hotels.

I nodded in his direction. “Staying long?”

His control was damn good, I’ll give him that. He didn’t so much as twitch. “I was not aware this region was claimed.” His accent was one of those not-quite-British accents you sometimes hear from people who started with a British accent and travel a lot. Not bad for someone from the ass end of Eastern Europe.

Of course, with five hundred years to play in, you can learn a language really well.

“As far as I know, there aren’t any claims.” I’m the first to admit I’m kind of an oddity even for vampires, but the last I’d heard staking out territories — yes, I’ve heard the puns, more times than I want to think about — never really took hold in the Americas. It’s only been the last hundred years or so that there’s been enough people reliably in the one place to support a vampire outside of a handful of cities.

Most of the vampires I’d come across were more or less vagabonds, moving from place to place in a kind of circuit to avoid being too obvious. Once you get into the habit of being on the move, the things you need to settle start looking like too much trouble.

He studied me without comment. Slight pressure against my mind, a bit like an incipient headache that never quite materializes, told me he was probing me. I let him. It wasn’t like I had anything to gain or lose in forcing a confrontation.

Eventually I inclined my head in the direction of the Sith Lord and the Clone Trooper. “I’m here for the convention. There’s a fair few immortals who attend, and we have an informal agreement. Nothing that attracts attention, nothing that harms the guests.”

I don’t know if what I got was a smile or not. His mouth made the right shape, but nothing else changed. “A sensible precaution, under the circumstances.”

I shrugged and spread my hands. “It works. There’s a few of us who keep an eye out, one way or another.”

“Our kind?”

Score one for me. He was a controlled bastard — getting surprise out of him was a definite win. “Nah. You name it, there’s one or more of it here, or will be.” I grinned. “Trust me, I’m probably the best of us you could have run into.”

One eyebrow rose just enough to make a noticeable change of expression. “I would have said being warned off by an elder was impressive enough.”

That was one for him, although I’d be damned if I was going to let him see it. One of the reasons I put up with what was at the time a long and uncomfortable ocean journey to come to the Americas was the way the Europeans were so hung up on class. Being an elder vampire just meant that I was good at not dying. It didn’t make me something you paid tribute to. “I’m not warning you off, just letting you know the convention rules.” I smiled, not showing my fangs. “Call me Jim.”

That’s not my real name, of course. I’m not sure that you could say I’ve got a real name, since I’ve used a whole lot of names over the years, and I don’t remember the one my parents gave me.

He gave me the kind of look that said better than words he wasn’t impressed. Not that I looked all that impressive: I don’t dress fancy unless I’m in costume, and I hadn’t replaced the Olde Worlde Vampire getup after the last con. Right now I was wearing sneakers, jeans, and a gray tee with a logo showing two dragons playing ‘snap the wishbone’ with an armored knight. Oh, and sunglasses, of course. I looked like a paler version of the typical male fan.

After a while he said, “Victor Drake,” and offered his right hand.

I shook it. “It’s a pleasure.” He was still young enough — or held his name in high enough esteem — to use variants of his name. I generally aimed for generic when I built an identity, something not quite as obviously anonymous as ‘John Smith’ but nearly as invisible.

‘Drake’ gave me a thin smile. “I am here for several days on business.” He handed me a business card.

Call me warped, but I had a hard time not laughing. For Vlad Dracula — sorry, Victor Drake — to be the owner of a timber and hardware chain was the kind of darkly ironic twist that hit my sense of humor where it lived. Score another one to him.

His smile was actually more genuine this time. “It keeps me occupied,” he said mildly. “These days my old amusements would not be well received.”

I could think of a few places where making human popsicles would do a lot of good — and a few people who deserved to be human popsicles — but that was beside the point. “True. Times change.” I shrugged. “Personally, I’ll take the security hassles and the like just to have the modern plumbing.”

Drake actually laughed. “You have a point. Modern cities are much less malodorous than their historical counterparts.”

Modern cities typically didn’t turn the local rivers and streams into open sewers, or throw so much ash and soot into the air everything was covered with a thick layer of black filth. Progress and technology might have their disadvantage, but from my perspective the overall result was so much better it made the drawbacks seem pretty minor.

I grinned. “Precisely.” Levering myself out of the Hotel Awful chair took some doing. “I hope your business trip goes well.”

He inclined his head in a gesture that mixed amusement and acknowledgment. “As do I.”

#     #     #     #

The Calvanni – Book 1 Jakirian Series

SCYTHEMAN
(Book Two of the Jakirian Series)
Chris McMahon
Naked Reader Press – June 2012

Kalyth laid his hands on the cracked battlement of Blackthorne Tower. The wind was furious up here. It numbed his face, bearing all the chill of the waning Storm Season. He blinked against it, his eyes watering.

‘Damn you, traitor.’ His voice was harsh. Raw from disuse.

He kept his gaze on the wide valley below the tower, determined to look anywhere but the stairs that led to the Temple of the Iris. His callused hands curled into fists, squeezing against the pain. Every day it was the same. He would fight the magical Compulsion that drew him to the ruined temple, and the pain would grow until he could no longer resist it. His legs and back were on fire with it, the muscles in his neck twisted with the desire to turn toward the stairs. He fixed his eyes on the overgrown graves of his wife Mari and his children on the slope below, fighting pain with pain. It would take only a single step, a single twitch and the Compulsion would have him.

At first he had been unable to resist it. The spell would take hold and he would run to the Iris like a crazed fool. After twenty-five years he could fight it for almost an hour.

His legs began to tremble. His eyes drifted away from the view. He squeezed them shut.

Would Belin make an appearance today? The man who commanded him to leave his family to die to save the Emperor’s squalling babe? Damn them all. The Empire had fallen. The Eathal were stronger than ever, and his wife and children were still cold and in the ground. If the Emperor’s boy still lived, he would change nothing now.

‘The Scion.’ He tasted bitter bile at the back of his throat.

If he dared to move he would spit on the Scion. Spit on all the Suul nobility. Traitors. Self-serving bastards.

His head jerked to the side, and his eyes opened. Stairs. A tiny particle of relief flowered in the muscles of his neck. The pain in his legs became unbearable. His right leg spasmed forward and before he knew it he was in motion, tears flooding down his face in relief as the pain vanished. There was no stopping it now.

He hissed air through his teeth in fury as he rushed down the stairs, past the small guardroom in the ruined tower that he had made his home, down and down into a maze of narrow tunnels. He knew every cracked tile, every fallen block of masonry, every sharp curve and jutting piece of head-cracking stone. He pushed against a concealed panel and raced up the stairs behind it, taking the stone flags two at a time until he reached the Temple rooms above. It was bright here. The roof had given way five years ago.

The corridor beyond emptied into a domed chamber, shafts of light stabbing down through cracks in the roof onto the wide floor mosaic. The design comprised five identical panels of flame and smoke, linked together by the great Iris at the centre.

As soon as his feet touched the coloured tiles Kalyth staggered to a halt. He sucked in lungfuls of the dusty air, the skin beneath his ragged beard prickling with sweat. He glared at the Iris.

Kalyth carefully circled the floor. After an hour or so blue lights would flicker at the corners of his vision and he would be free to leave the tiles. Sometimes he would visit the Kaidell estate to teach the warriors, but his visits were becoming less frequent. The newer troops mocked him behind his back. The crazy hermit of Tower Blackthorne, they called him.

As if he had a choice.

Kalyth knelt at the small fireplace he had built at the edge of the tiles. He took a small lead glowmetal from his pocket and rubbed it briskly on the stone. It remained cool in his fist, but he kept a careful eye on the bands of greyish light in the glowmetal as they thinned. Just before the bands became fully metal he tossed it into the fire pit. Immediately it released the stored heat. The tinder curled with smoke then popped into flame. He flicked the little object out of the fire with a stick and carefully nursed the small blaze to life. Satisfied, he scooped up the glowmetal and slipped it into his pouch. It was already cool to the touch.

If only he had never returned to the Kaidell estates. After the defeat of the Eathal it had seemed natural to take work as weaponmaster to Belin’s nephew and heir, Linnas Kaidell. The man was no warrior, and a far cry from Belin – or at least the Belin he had known – but Kalyth had been young and eager to start again. Then the whispering began, night after night. By day he would find himself staring at the sight of the ruined tower on the horizon. He should have left then, instead he had searched through the ruins and found the Temple.

And the Iris had come alive.

Belin Kaidell – a man he had known as a simple warrior – had stepped from the Iris, his eyes alive with blue light, his face drawn into a mask he barely recognised, an archaic spear strapped to his back. He shivered at the memory. Two lines of glowing blue had lashed out from Belin like hungry snakes, holding him fast, biting deep; binding him with a magic that compelled him to return to the Iris each day. He had been forced to make his home amid the ruins of Blackthorne, as though standing vigil on the memory of his life. Forced to endure the taunts of his men, and the ridicule of that worm Linnas.

He sat at the edge of the mosaic and watched the Iris.

He would never forget Belin’s eyes. They had fixed on him as though considering a new mount. ‘I may have a use for you.’

A use for you.

Belin had ignored his pleading questions. **some explanation of who Belin and Kalyth are might be needed in here somewhere**

‘I trusted you, Belin. More than life,’ muttered Kalyth, stabbing the fire with the stick.

He had given up trying to understand the change in Belin, or his old general’s inexplicable command of magic. No. After a time it was not Belin that he feared. He quickly learned that Belin was not alone in the Iris.

The other mind within the Iris took the form of a horned beast in his dreams, bringing with it a madness of bloodlust and desire. Kalyth would wake in fear, heart hammering, his clothes damp with sour sweat.

Since that first time, the Iris had only come to life twice. Each time Belin had sent the snakes into his mind and left in silence. Inspecting him without a hint of acknowledgement.

Light flickered off the tile near his feet.

His head snapped up.

‘No.’

Sweat rolled off his forehead, chilling immediately in the cold air beneath the dome.

The Iris was stirring.

Kalyth dropped the burning brand back into the fire, his gaze fixed to the Iris as the glowing light rose and expanded. A distant song grew at the edge of his hearing. He covered his ears against it and became aware of his breath, coming now in ragged gasps. Soon the whole Temple was swathed in light, a turning whirlpool that scattered his tiny fire and flung the burning brands at the wall.

Belin stepped from the Iris. As before, he was no older than that day he had appeared with the babe.

‘What do you want?’ said Kalyth, edging to the very limit of the mosaic.

Belin raised his hand and blue lightning leapt at Kalyth. He grunted in fear as the twin streamers struck his head. His vision was lost in glowing blue, but it was over quickly. He trembled as he watched the glowing lines flow back into Belin like ghastly appendages.

Belin turned to go, then suddenly paused. The passive, drawn expression fled and a new tension overtook him.

‘Kalyth,’ said Belin.

His heart leapt. This was not the high, thin voice he had come to dread. It was a voice of command and deep solidity, more like the Belin of old. The lights had also vanished from his eyes. For the first time since this nightmare had begun he looked into the familiar grey eyes of his old commander.

Kalyth stepped toward him, drawn by instinct.

‘Kalyth. I have only a moment before the Ward takes me again. The boy is in danger. You must protect him. The Ward seeks him. It has breached the Athrian Iris …’

Belin jerked. The grey eyes filled once more with blue light, the face becoming slack and cold. As though nothing had happened, Belin turned back toward the Iris.

A heartbeat later the Temple was cold and empty.

Released, Kalyth fled the Iris. He paused on the slopes outside to look down at the tiny shapes of the Kaidell estate buildings in the distance. Belin had broken through some sort of forced control.

The hairs at the base of Kalyth’s neck stood on end. All these years … had Belin been as bound as he was? Overtaken by this Ward he had spoken of? Could it be that Belin had not betrayed him? Not abandoned him as he thought?

Kalyth’s eyes fell on the graves of Mari and his children.

He gritted his teeth and started the climb back to his small room in the tower above. What difference did it make? He was still trapped.

And they were still dead.

#     #     #     #

Dog and Dragon
Dave Freer
Now available from Baen

 

Back to the sunset bound of Lyonesse—
A land of old upheaven from the abyss
By fire, to sink into the abyss again;
Where fragments of forgotten peoples dwelt,
And the long mountains ended in a coast
Of ever‑shifting sand, and far away
The phantom circle of a moaning sea.
Idylls of the King, Tennyson

 “Who are you?” hissed the lithe, dark-eyed man with the drawn sword.

Meb blinked at him. Her transition from the green forests of Arcady to this dark, stone-flagged hall, had been instantaneous. The stone walls were hung with displays of arms and the horns of stags. Otherwise there was not much to separate it from a cave or prison, with not as much as an arrow slit in the walls—let alone a window—to be seen in the stone embrasures.

In Tasmarin from whence she had come, she had known just who she was: Scrap, apprentice to the black dragon that destroyed of the worlds. You could call her anything else, but that was who she had been. Now…

“Cat got your tongue, wench?” he said quietly. “Well, no matter, I’ll have to kill you anyway.”

He swung the sword at her in a vicious arc.

Moments ago, before she’d made the choice that swept her magically from Tasmarin, from the green forest of Arcady, she’d thought she might be better off dead rather than leaving them behind. Leaving him behind.

Now she discovered that her body didn’t want to die just yet. She threw herself backwards, not caring where she landed, as long as it was out of reach of the sword.

She screamed. And then swore as the blade shaved across her arm to thud into the kist she had fallen over. She kicked out, hard, catching her attacker in the midriff, knocking the breath out of him in an explosive gasp. Trying to find breath, he still pulled weakly at the sword now a good two-finger-widths deep into the polished timber of the kist. Meb wasn’t going to wait.

But it looked as if she wasn’t going to run very far either. Her scream, and possibly the swearing, had called others and they burst in, flinging the great iron studded doors open. Men-at-arms with bright swords and scale armor rushed in.

As she turned to run the other way, her passage there was blocked by a sleepy-looking man—also with a sword, emerging from the only other doorway.

There wasn’t a window to be seen.

She wanted one, badly.

And then she saw one, just in the embrasure to her left. She just plainly hadn’t spotted it before.

She ran to it, and realized it wasn’t going to help much. In the moonlight she could see that it opened onto a hundred feet of jagged cliff, to an angry sea, frothing around sharp rock teeth far below.

Some of the soldiers surrounded the man she’d kicked. They’d blocked her escape too, but you couldn’t really call it surrounding her. Not unless that included “getting as far from her as possible, while not leaving the other prisoner, or the room.”

The man who had looked so sleepy moments before didn’t anymore. His sword was up, ready, his eyes wide as they darted from the window to her, seemingly unsure which was more shocking.

“Who are you?” he asked.

There was something weaselly about him that made her very wary about answering, in case her words were twisted against her.

And why did they all want to know something she wasn’t too sure of herself?

***

There was a narrow bridge across the void. Along it walked a black and white sheepdog, followed by a black dragon. The dog never looked back at the dragon, just forward, his questing written into every line of his body, from the mobile pointed ears, to the feathered tail.

The bridge itself was narrow—made of vast, interlocking blocks of adamantine—or at least that is the way it looked. Reality might be somewhat different, at least to the eyes of a planomancer. Such eyes would see deeper than the ordinary spectra of light, and could see patterns energy. Fionn, the black dragon, saw it all as the weave of magics that made the bridge between the planes of existence. He knew the bridge was fragile and fraught with danger. That did not stop him walking along it, any more than it stopped Díleas the sheepdog.

The bridge was barely two cubits wide and had no rail. Far, far below seethed the tumult of primal chaos. The only way the dog could go was straight ahead. He kept looking left though.

That was where he wanted to go. Sometimes he would raise his nose and sniff.

Fionn knew there was nothing to smell out here. The air that surrounded the bridge was drawn and melded by the magics of it, from the raw chaos. It was new air, and Fionn knew that it did not exist a few paces behind them, or a few paces ahead.

He was still sure Díleas was following the faint trail of something. A something which even a very clever dog could best understand as scent…even if there was nothing to smell.

At least he hoped that was the case.

Hoped with ever fiber of his very ancient being.

Fionn had long since given up on caring too much. He was not immortal, as far as he knew. He could certainly be killed. But compared to others, even of his own kind, the black dragon was long-lived. Time passed, and so did friends. His work was never done, fixing the balance, keeping the planes stable. He moved on.

He’d been hated. He’d been worshiped, though it irritated him. He’d been laughed at and reviled. He’d been feared.

He’d even been loved.

He had never loved before, though.

The black and white sheepdog was more experienced at love than the dragon, and he was a young dog still, maybe eight months old. Barely more than a pup. But Díleas—whose name was “faithful” in an old tongue, long forgotten by most men—would go to the ends of the world for her, and beyond, as they were now. His mistress was his all and he would search for her until he died, or he found her.

Fionn knew that he’d do the same. His Scrap, his inept apprentice, had been plucked from them by magic. Her own magic and her own choice, made freely for them, and for Tasmarin, the place of dragons. Fionn knew, however, that it had cost her dearly. For him, left here without her, it was a worthless sacrifice.

So now, somewhere, back in some place that she’d been torn from as a babe, they had to find her again.

Fionn had no idea where that might be. A place of magics, where human magery ran strong in the blood, that much he could be sure of. But there were many such places in the interlinking chain of worlds, and they themselves were large and complex places.

It was a good thing that Díleas seemed to have some idea where to go, because Fionn didn’t know where to even start, except by trying everywhere. He would do that, if need be. He had time. He would never give up.

The only problem was that she was human and very mortal. And, if he had to be truthful with himself, she was able to attract disaster toward herself, just by being there.

Fionn had never known love. He’d never really known worry either. Pain, and the avoidance of it, yes, fear, yes, but now he was afraid for her. Worried.

The end of the bridge was now visible, if wreathed in smoke or mist.

Fionn wondered if it would be guarded, or if the bridge was too new. The transit points often had their watchers, or barriers.

As the other side of the void came closer, Fionn realized this place would not need such things.

Most travelers would turn around and go back just as quickly as they could.

Gylve was a place of fire and black glass.

Fionn had been there before, and wouldn’t have minded if he’d never had to go there again. A planomancer needed to visit such places and straighten things out. Last time, it had glowed in the dark, and he’d had to do some serious adjustment. He was pleased to see that the radiation levels at least had dropped. Still, you could see fire dancing across the sky as the methane jets caught.

On the silver collar on Díleas’s neck hung a bauble. A little part of the primal fire, enclosed in what merely appeared to be crystal. It should keep the dog safe from demons and from actually freezing. It wouldn’t keep his feet safe on the broken volcanic glass in the place they were coming to; only dragon hide would do for that.

Fortunately, he had some with him, available without the discomfort of slicing it off himself. He could have done that. Dragons were tough…even if they really didn’t like making holes in themselves any more than the next creature. But every now and again a dragon died or was killed. If a dragon was sharp about it, they could get a piece of hide before the humans did. Honestly, thought Fionn, for a species that was afraid of dragons, humans had a habit of sticking their necks out.

It was one of the things that he liked about them.

The bridge was beginning to widen…to open onto the jet-black clinkers of one of the fire-worlds. Fionn stopped.

Díleas didn’t.

“Díleas, come here!”

The dog did turn and look at him, with a “what do you think you’re wasting time at?” look. And then began to pace forward.

“This muck will cut your feet to ribbons. And then you won’t be able to walk to her.” Fionn had to smile wryly at himself. Talking to the dog. Just like his Scrap of humanity had.

The dog turned around and came back to him. Lifted a foot.

Fionn’s eye’s widened. He’d have to do some serious reevaluation. And yes, now he could see that the dog was substantially magically…enhanced. Curse the dvergar and their tricksy magics. He was supposed to be the practical joker, not them. His Scrap had wanted Díleas to understand her. And she wore a very powerful piece of enchanted jewelry, which bound the magics of earth, stone, wood, fire and worked metals to her will.

Not surprising really that her power worked on sheepdogs. They were clever and loyal anyway, or so he’d been told.

“It won’t be elegant,” he said, “but then there won’t be other dogs out here to see you. He took the section of dragon leather from his pouch and rent it into four pieces, and then made a neat row of talon punctures around the edge, before transforming his own shape. Human form was one of those he knew best, and it allowed him to wield a needle well. It was of course partly a matter of appearances, and a useful disguise. He was far too heavy and too strong for a human—but hands were easier to sew with than clawed talons. A piece of thong threaded through the holes and Díleas had four baggy boots.

Díleas looked critically at the things on his feet. Sniffed them.

“Dragon hide,” said Fionn. “I wouldn’t show them to any dragons you happen to meet, but otherwise they’ll do. And really, scarlet boots match the bauble on your collar.”

Díleas cocked an ear at him. Fionn wasn’t ready to bet the dog didn’t grasp sarcasm, so he merely said, “Well, let’s go. The only thing we’re likely to meet are demondim, and they like red anyway.”

They didn’t like dragons, but were suitably afraid of them, so that was the form Fionn assumed, as the two of them walked into the badlands. It reeked of sulphur and burning, and Fionn knew the ground could collapse under their feet, dropping them down hundreds of cubits to white-hot ashpits. Vast coal measures had been pierced by ferocious vulcanism, and deep down, somewhere, it burned still. Fionn blinked his eyes to allow himself to see other spectra, patterns of energy, that might allow him to spot such instability before it killed Díleas. But the dog seemed aware and moved with a slow caution that he hadn’t showed up on the bridge.

It was, as befitted a fire-creature world, hot and waterless. Fionn noticed that Díleas was panting. He’d have to learn to carry water for the dog, or to somehow carry the dog while he flew, because there were worse places than this, in the vast ring of planes that Fionn had once maintained the stability of. He was a planomancer, made by the First for this task, and there was plenty of work waiting for him.

Right now, it could wait. All he did was to make a few preliminary marks with his talon and tail.

And simply because he’d said to Díleas that they would see nothing here but demondim, right now he could hear noises that were very unlike those beloved of the creatures of fire. A jangle of bells, and, clearly, a bark. And human voices.

Díleas, panting, could hear them too. Dogs could hear more keenly than humans, but not dragons.

Fionn changed his form again, becoming human in appearance. A dragon would almost certainly be an unwelcome sight. He could, and possibly should, leave the demons to their nasty games. But he had some sympathy for humans these days. She’d taught him that. He would help, simply for her sake. They moved towards the voices and sounds.

The caravan of carts was moving, slowly, along a causeway of blue-black hexagonal blocks. Probably the safest place around here, reflected Fionn, although you had to consider just what had flattened the top of the columnar dolerite dyke into a narrow straight road across the ash fields and lava lands. Bells tinkled from every horse’s harness strap. Whoever they were, they were not ignorant of demondim and their dislikes, or quite the helpless lost travelers Fionn had expected. The fire creatures liked to mislead and torment those. But whoever had made those bells knew a thing or two about the demondim. They’d been made either to very precise mathematical formulae, or been shaved very carefully into making an octave.

“Go on, Díleas. We might as well see just who they are and what they’re up to and cadge you a drink, panting dog,” said Fionn, prodding him with a toe.

Díleas dropped his head and looked warily…not at the advancing carts but at the trail in front of them. He gave a soft growl. So Fionn looked closer. It was a well concealed little trap, the clinker plates hiding the thing’s lair. The Silago wasn’t a particularly intelligent predator, but it didn’t need to be. All it did was to make a bit of a trail and lie in wait. Eventually something—if there was anything—would choose the easiest trail and walk into its maw, just as he nearly had. Half-rock, half-animal, it didn’t need to eat more than once every few years anyway. Fionn found a piece of glassy rock and tossed it at the clinker plates. They collapsed inwards and a segmented creature with long snapping jaws reared out, lashing about, looking for prey.

Fionn stepped back, Díleas had already neatly moved up against his side. And then the tossing Silago head sprouted an arrow shaft. And a second. Fionn paused, wondering if he should take refuge behind a rock spike. Any bow that could push an arrow hard enough to penetrate a Silago might even get an arrow into him.

The dark-skinned, white-haired man on the lead cart—with his recurved composite bow in hand, arrow on the string, and perky-eared dog growling from the seat beside him—was smiling though. A suspicious smile, but better than fear or anger, while he held that bow. And there were plainly others, because of that second arrow. “You ain’t one of the Beng,” he said, “because they don’t like dogs and they don’t walk on the ground. And they don’t like our bells or garlic. The question is who or what are you, stranger?”

Finn touched his hat. “Finn. I’m a gleeman. A traveling singer and jester. I juggle a bit too.”

The man didn’t put the bow down. “Not many inns or villages around here. Where are you from, gleeman? Abalach? Annvn? Carmarthen? Vanaheim? The Blessed Isles or…Lyonesse?”

Fionn was an expert on tone. Lyonesse was probably not a good place to be from. He’d been there. He’d been everywhere, once upon a time.

In front of him the Silago still thrashed about. “None of those, recently,” he said cheerfully. “A place called Tasmarin. Back there.”

“Didn’t know there were any Ways over there,” said the traveler.

“It’s rather new, and I don’t think it’s going to see much traffic, judging by this charming countryside,” said Fionn waving at the ash lands. “And anyway, Tasmarin is quite full of dragons. They’re not overly friendly.” The Silago was threshing rather more weakly now. Fionn could simply have jumped over it, but not if he wished them to believe he was human. He slowly, calmly, reached into his pouch, took out three balls and began to juggle one handed. He’d found it very good for distraction and misleading before. And those little balls were made of osmium, both a lot harder and heavier than observers might guess. Fionn could throw them fast enough to knock an armored knight out of the saddle. “To tell the truth I am a little lost. And my dog could use a drink.”

The cartman smiled again. “I think we could probably sell you some water. And the road should see you to Annvn, if you stick to it. You’ll have to wait until the Beng-child is dead, though. They usually put themselves in the middle of the only safe path. It’s surprising you got this far.” His tone said that alone was reason for not putting aside his bow, just yet.

Fionn shrugged, not stopping his juggling. It was good for hypnosis too. “The dog is good at finding safe ways.”

“I like his footwear,” said the cartman.

“Worn by all the best dogs in the capitals of many great lands. It also keeps his feet from being cut up. Purely as a secondary thing, you understand,” said Fionn. He pointed to the Silago. “It’s dying, whatever it is.” There was no point in admitting to knowing too much.

“Give it a little more time, gleeman. Even half-dead, the Beng-child will have your arm off, and might scratch the dog’s boots. When it’s dead we’ll have the jaws off it. They’ll fetch a good price where we’re headed.”

Fionn nodded patiently, which was more than Díleas was showing signs of. “Where did you say you are bound for?”

“Annvn. Well, if it’s there. You never know these days.”

Fionn raised an eyebrow. “And where else might it be?” He was a planomancer. There was a logical consistency to where the various planes of existence interlocked. It was not variable. The multidimensionality and subplanes of it all meant it was more complex than a mere three-dimensional ring would be. It was possible that points of departure and arrival could be geographically close. But until Tasmarin had opened up a way to multiple planes, one link point did not lead you elsewhere. Had Tasmarin changed it all?

“Last time we took the giant’s road we found ourselves in Lyonesse. If that happens we’ll head back,” he said, putting the bow aside, and getting down from the cart. He pulled a long metal stake and a hammer from the cart. Looked for a crack, found one and hammered it in. “How far to this Tasmarin place?” he said casually, in an I-am-not-fishing-for-information tone.

Fionn was amused, and used to human ways. “Not far. I could tell you in some detail…in exchange for a drink for my dog.”

“Ah, you’re a sharp one,” said the cartman, grinning. “Worth a trading venture?”

“Probably,” said Fionn. “What are you selling?”

“Things which are exotic in one place and cheap in another. Peacock feathers and pepper, bottles of mermaids’ tears, amber, narwhal ivory, and carved walrus tusks this trip.”

“I’d say pepper would sell.” It was a game, and Fionn played it well.

“Ah. One of those places,” said the traveler. “Magic, and the creatures of it are more common than pepper. Hey, Nikos, Dravko. The Beng-child is ready for you to butcher the jaws out of. You might as well come across, stranger.”

Fionn could see things they could not. The Silago was not dead. He patted Díleas. “The dog thinks it is faking, mister. And he’s a sharp dog.” He caught all the juggling balls in one hand, and picked up another rock and flung it at the open jaws, which snapped closed viciously and sent splinters of rock flying.

The white-haired man looked very thoughtful indeed. “Sharp dog he is. And earned himself a drink, I’d say, gleeman. Maybe worth asking you about the way across to this place.”

“I made marks.” He had. With a talon. They were not intended as trail markers but they could work as that without undoing his purpose. Energies needed to flow, and the travelers could be vehicles for that. Travelers tended to be a cunning lot though. Over the years he’d known and journeyed with a fair number of these sort of folk, too many to believe them to be easily fooled or used without them knowing.

“Ah. It’s a sharp master too. A wonder you don’t cut yourself, gleeman. Nikos, come and give the Beng-creature a good poke with that black iron spear of yours.”

Someone knew—or had known—a great deal about demondim and the few creatures that survived just what they had made of their worlds, thought Fionn, looking at the spear in the next swarthy man’s grasp.

It wasn’t iron-edged and had a fair weight of magework about it. Antimony might not be the ideal metal for edging anything, but it was deadly toxic to the silicate sulphur of the Silago.

Soon Fionn and Díleas were able to pass the two traveler men cutting at the dead Silago. The dog on the seat of the lead cart growled and bristled. “Hear now, Mitzi. That’s no way to greet a dog with smart red boots,” said the lead cartman. Díleas was studiously ignoring her. The cart driver got down, and tapped some water out of a small keg into a bowl. Held it out to Fionn. “Here, gleeman. Best if your dog drinks a little way from Mitzi. It’s her bowl.”

Fionn gave a little bow. “Thank you, goodman. This place was hotter than we expected. Dustier too.”

“Ah well, you’ve a fair distance to travel in it. Best to be prepared. My name is Arvan, gleeman. I only look like a good man.”

“Call me Finn. Most do,” said Fionn, taking the water and setting it on the ground. He noticed the watchfulness of the lead cart driver. The watchfulness of the dogs on the seats of the other eleven carts. The fact that they had at least two other men hidden in them, and they weren’t watching him or Díleas. The water smelled all right, wasn’t bespelled…Díleas sniffed it too, and then drank with a great deal of tongue splashing. He had needed that. Well, he was wearing a good thick coat of black and white fur.

“And now, Finn, if you’d tell me a bit about this Tasmarin place, I could offer you a mug of beer,” said Arvan. Fionn knew the name was a small part of the traveler’s true name, which suggested that the travelers knew of the importance of those too. Well, they did accumulate knowledge or fail to survive.

“It’s an hour’s walk from here. See the double smoking peak? Bear just left of that. You’ll find this symbol scratched on the rock here and there.” Fionn scratched it with his toe in the dust. “There is a narrow white bridge that you will have to cross. Not much room for a cart on it. And the dragons on the other side are fond of gold, so I’d take care to appear poor.”

“Oh, we are,” said Arvan, tapping Fionn a small flagon of beer. It was good beer.

“They can smell gold at twenty paces,” said Fionn, who could smell theirs, above the beer. It was under the front end of the cart. Probably a hidden panel or something.

“Ah. There haven’t been many around for a while. People wondered where they’d got to. Some of us wanted to know.”

“There, that’s where,” said Fionn.

The jaw cutters had finished their work by now, and they carried them back to the causeway and roped them onto the back of the cart, still dripping black ichor. The little caravan set off again, Fionn and Díleas walking alongside the lead cart. It was, it appeared by Díleas’s behavior, the direction they needed to go.

A mile or so later the causeway was interrupted by what might have been called a river, if rivers boiled, and did not run with anything anyone could have called water, although scalding water diluted it. It ran through a fresh fracture in the dolerite, and the steam reeked of brimstone and the almond smell of cyanides. Arvan scratched his head. “That’s a new one.”

Fionn tried to work out the least obtrusive way of changing the situation. Energy and fire magic abounded here. There was even an ancient water pattern. The place had been verdant once. A tweak here and there…But it would all take time, and by the way that fool-of-a-very-clever sheepdog was pacing back and forth and bunching his muscles, he would try jumping soon.

***

The beautiful crone-enchantress, the queen of Shadow Hall, stared vengefully at her seeing-basin. Dun Tagoll—dark stone towers silhouetted against the moonlit sea—seemed to stare back at her. He’d protected it as well as he was able, and she could see no further into the castle on the cliff top. She had stared at it, the same way, for over fifty years now. Eventually, she would win. A few hours earlier she’d felt a surge of magical energy, and wondered if he’d finally died. But no, the tower still resisted her vision—it would not if he was dead, she was sure. So, the fight must continue. She was busy mustering her forces, yet again. She worked with her unwitting allies’ fears, and she had the Cauldron of Gwalar. It brewed and bubbled now. Soon she would cast pieces of yet another dead hero in the seethe of it. They had to be boiled apart, or at least finely diced, before she could reassemble them and reanimate them. And then dispatch them…to whichever of the nineteen worlds Lyonesse would try to leech off this time.

She stared at the image in the seeing-basin. The tallest tower and its highest window. There was a light there. He would be working away, creating falsehoods and illusions. Working on his simulacra and devices. Bah. Machinery. She had been fascinated by it once, the cogs and springs and the mechanisms for harnessing the tides themselves. The smell of oil, and magic…

He was not a summonser, but one who worked inanimate things and the laws of contagion and sympathy. She used that, but drew on higher powers too. The powers of life…and death. She learned as much of his craft as she could, of course. In those days Dun Tagoll had been the place to learn and to practice magecraft. He’d stopped that. He didn’t like competition.

To think she’d loved him once. Trusted him with their secret. Sworn eternal faith to each other and their secret. Dreamed that some day…She spat into seeing-basin, shattering the image.

Death would take him one day.

And it could not be a day too soon for her.

In the meanwhile she had to finish the warrior in her cauldron. And then get onto making more muryans. Shadow Hall would have to walk again, to follow Lyonesse, to raise war and chaos and foes against it. She followed Lyonesse’s progression across myriad leagues and subplanes in her palace of shadows.

Her hall moved. It did so on tiny ant feet. Many, many ant feet.

#     #     #     #

Rye Crisp
Sarah A. Hoyt & Amanda S. Green
Naked Reader Press – Winter 2012

 Coming Down On The Night Shift

The elevator gave a lurch. Angie Woolsey’s stomach jumped into her throat. Then the doors slid painstakingly open, while she tapped to the rhythm of music only she could hear, grasped the handle of her cleaning cart, and thought, come on, come on. This was the night her husband, Beto, had off and she wanted to hurry home.

Without breaking her rhythm, she pushed her cleaning cart into the corridor beyond the elevator car and stopped. A slight frown creased her broad brow. Something wasn’t right. She could feel it.

You’re just imagining things, she chided silently. The security light mid-way down the corridor cast off a pale pool of light, even if it left eerie shadows in its wake. Everything was fine. Besides, she reminded herself, no one else was there. They never were. That was one of the reasons she liked working the night shift. No one was around to bother her.

More importantly, this was a good job, one of the better ones when you have to clean up after other people. Maybe the accountants who worked here kept things cleaner than most others because they always had clients coming in. Maybe they were those all too rare men who actually cleaned up after themselves without being told. She didn’t care. Whatever the reason, it made her job easier and that was all that really mattered.

As she pushed the cart down the corridor, its wheels squeaking faintly in protest as they rolled over the deep pile carpet, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. She paused again, her head cocked slightly to one side as she reached up and pulled the earbuds from her ears. No sound reached her except the muted beat of the music she’d been listening to.

And yet, her heart beat just a bit faster and her breathing seemed more labored. Breathing…that was it!  The corridor didn’t smell right. Hanging in the air, teasing her as she tried to locate the source, was the unmistakable smell of burnt meat.

What had those fool men been up to?  Had one of them brought leftovers from home and left them in the microwave too long?

Shit. Now she had to find a way to get rid of the smell before she could leave, which would make her late getting home. She once more slipped the earbuds back into place and pushed the cleaning cart toward the small kitchen that served as the accounting firm’s break room.

Her right hand reached out and found the light switch just inside the small but well-equipped kitchen. Light from the overhead fixture flooded the room. Instantly, she knew whatever the source of the smell, she wouldn’t find it there. That almost sickening aroma was present, but no stronger inside the kitchen than it had been in the corridor.

Nothing there.

Well, hell.   “Isn’t this just wonderful?  The one night Beto’s home and these fools have to leave a mess for me to hunt down and deal with.”

She returned to the corridor, wondering in which office to begin her search. After flipping a mental coin, she started off towards the far end of the corridor, away from the elevator. A trickle of fear wrapped itself around her spine. This wasn’t right and she didn’t want to be here. Not now. But she couldn’t leave, not without good reason. Not when she needed the job.

Besides, she was just imagining it. That’s all.

Telling herself to quit being so foolish, she pushed on. All she had to do was find the offending box of carryout – or whatever it might be – and get it outside. Then she could turn her attention to finishing up the job and getting home to Beto.

Following her nose, she did her best to ignore the persistent urge to turn and run as far and fast as she could. Instead, she reached down to open the third door from the end of the corridor. The knob turned easily beneath her hand. Nothing unusual there. He might be head of the firm, but Mr. Champion rarely locked his office.

The door swung open silently. As it did, the smell – no, the stench – struck her with an almost physical force. It made the hair at the back of her neck stand on end and her gag reflex went full-force.

Sweat prickled out on her forehead as she forced herself to take that first step inside the office. Never before had she done anything quite so difficult. Her fingers shook as they searched for and then found the light switch. There was a soft click and light filled the room.

Followed immediately by a scream that cut through the night and  it took her a while to realize it had come from her own throat.

Her throat working, the charred burnt smell making her gag, Angie ran for the elevator, praying she didn’t have to wait long for its doors to open.

O’ Blessed Holy Caffeine Tree

Red and white lights beat rhythmically against the night sky, calling to every media vulture and voyeur in town. No matter what the time of day – or night – or how bad the weather might be, they came. They were like Pavlov’s dogs, reacting to the flashing lights of emergency vehicles in much the same way the hounds had reacted to the ringing of a bell. For them, the lights represented the opportunity to feed on information – or misinformation – that they could then pass on to the unsuspecting public.

Wonderful.

Those lights called to me as well, but in a different way. They were reason I’d dragged out of my warm bed. At least it wasn’t raining. Tired as I was, frustrated as I was, it would be a recipe for disaster for me to try to navigate the narrow lanes of the east side of town in bad weather.

Not that the lack of rain made me any happier just then. It was just barely two in the morning. I hadn’t had nearly enough coffee – hell, I hadn’t had any coffee and a can of warm Diet Coke just isn’t enough to wake the brain cells, especially not after the “exertions” of the previous afternoon. Exertions I’d planned on repeating come morning. Instead, my first day off in more than two weeks had been canceled and I was heading to a crime scene I knew absolutely nothing about.

Someone had better have coffee for me when I got there or heads would roll.

My repeated attempts to tell the disinterested dispatcher that I wasn’t on duty had been met with the simple explanation that Lt. Sam Smith had said to have me respond to the scene. Great. So, leaving my nice warm bed, I’d thrown on jeans and tee shirt, running shoes and holster and gun before leaving the house none the wiser as to why Smith wanted me to respond to the call.

After all, there were two other forensic investigators with the department. Surely Distraction, Texas hadn’t suddenly been thrust into the middle of a crime spree that required all of us to be called out at the same time. So why me?

I still didn’t know, as I made the final turn into a parking lot ringed by trees. My headlights  caught the sign by the parking lot entrance. Champion and Associates Financial Services.

All traces of frustration and exhaustion fled. I recognized the name and the building. As I frigging well should. No wonder the address had seemed familiar to my sleep-fogged brain. It should have. I’d been here more often than I cared to remember and all because of Jack Andrew Sawyer-Simpson, or as I like to call him Jack Ass, my ex-husband. He’s one of the dozen financial planners – just a fancy way of saying accountants as far as I could tell – who work in the two story building.

Or is it worked?

A shiver went up my spine but I shook my head. Nah. If something had happened to Jack, I’d be the last one called to the scene. To begin with, we most definitely hadn’t parted on good terms. That’s sort of hard to do when you come home early one day, hoping for a little afternoon play-time with your husband only to find him playing “slap and tickle” with someone else on the living room sofa. Making matters worse, he was playing with his boss. His male boss.             How I’d managed not to pull my gun out and put them both out of my misery is beyond me.

Especially since I knew I’d have to burn the leather sofa they were on and I’d really, really liked that sofa.

So, instead of shooting them, I’d stood in the doorway, the fingers of my right hand drumming steadily on the butt of the gun at my hip and cleared my throat. They’d jumped as if I actually had shot at them. Then, as if fearing I might actually do just that, they’d scurried out of the house, their pants around their ankles, just like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

And I hadn’t wasted any time. One of the benefits of being a cop is you get to know a lot of good attorneys. I’d called one and he’d had my divorce petition and restraining order filed before the end of the day. Then I’d pulled that sofa outside to the curb for the trash collectors. It wasn’t as satisfying as actually setting it on fire but it did the trick. Pesky regulations against bonfires and all. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been quite as easy to rid myself of my husband as it had been to rid myself of the sofa. It had gotten messy and nasty, even with a good lawyer.

So I most definitely wouldn’t be called to the scene if something had happened to Jack. Instead, the homicide detectives would be paying me a visit to make sure I hadn’t decided it was finally time to dance on his grave. Which,  I’ll admit, was an interesting prospect. But it was one I’d save for my dreams. Even in Texas, the courts frown on cops offing their ex-spouses, no matter how much the ex might need killing.

I parked next to one of the unmarked Ford Crown Victorias the department assigned to its detectives and glance around the parking lot. The half dozen police cars, marked and unmarked, I’d expected. Even the MICU van and medical examiner’s van were no surprise. But the two fire trucks were a different matter. Standard procedure was for the arson inspectors to have first crack at a scene. So why had they sent for me?

Well, Alicia, there’s only one way to find out. Quit stalling and get your butt inside.

Yeah, yeah. The problem was, I didn’t want to go inside. I wanted to go back home, climb back into bed and sleep late. No chance in hell.

With one last gulp of warm Diet Coke and a wish for a very big, very strong cup of coffee, I switched off the engine and climbed out of the car. From the backseat I produced my evidence kit, carefully lifting it out and settling it on the trunk of the car. After pulling my ID from beneath my tee shirt and locking the car, I collected the kit and jogged across the parking lot toward the building’s main entrance.

The glass doors slid open with a whoosh as I neared. The lobby, a large area dotted with potted plants and cozy seating areas, was unusually crowded. Half a dozen detectives and uniformed officers mingled with several fire investigators and the assistant ME. The murmur of different conversations stopped as heads turned to me and something I swear looked like impatience suddenly showed in various faces.

“Glad you’re here, Rye,” a throaty woman’s voice said from behind me.

“Yeah, about damn time,” a man murmured from the back.

Ignoring the man, I turned in the direction of the woman’s voice, to find myself face to face with Detective Sharon Hornsby, Homicide. She came about to my shoulder, but then I’m a tall woman. Her short black hair and shockingly pale blue eyes seemed somehow right with her lightly tanned complexion. Dressed in dark slacks, red blouse and linen jacket, she looked like she’d be more at home in a bank lobby than at a crime scene. But I’d learned long ago not to be fooled. She was one of the best detectives on the force. Which didn’t reassure me since she’d made it obvious with that one simple statement that everyone was waiting on me.

The only question I had was why. Why were they waiting instead of beginning their investigation?

“What’s everyone doing down here?”

“Waiting on you.” When I cocked an eyebrow in question, she simply nodded and jerked her head in the direction of the elevator. “Look, Dorsett and I responded to a 911 DB call almost an hour ago. By the time we arrived, the LT had already arrived. He met us down here and told us to begin searching this floor and outside. He didn’t tell us anything except no one was to go upstairs until you’d gotten here. He hasn’t even let us talk to the wit who called in the 911. All I can tell you is he’s shook and it takes a lot to shake him.”

It took a hell of a lot to shake Sam Smith, personally or professionally. That something upstairs had and that he’d sent for me didn’t reassure me one bit. Why had I answered the damned phone?

Because if you hadn’t your mother would have and did you really want her coming in and finding you with the yummy Cas Roberts in your bed?  All two hundred and ten pounds of buffed and muscular fire fighter? 

Which brought my mind around to the fire trucks. “What’s with all the fire equipment?”

“Again, can’t tell you. Not for sure at least. All I know is there’s a definite burnt smell if you stay inside long enough.”

“Okay.” I chewed my lower lip, thinking hard. Obviously something was going on, something I knew I probably wouldn’t like. But, Jack Ass’s office or not, there was no way to avoid it, not if I wanted to keep my job. “I’d best get upstairs then.”

“See if the LT won’t let us up so we can at least interview the wit,” Hornsby said.

“Will do,” I promised before crossing the marble floor of the lobby to the elevators.

“Detective,” a uniformed officer said as he reached inside the elevator car and switched off the “Hold” button.

I nodded and reached out to press the button for the second floor. The doors slid shut and the elevator gave a slight lurch as it started its ascent. As it did, I breathed deeply, stilling my mind. I hate elevators. Always have. They are too small. Only a single cable holds them up. If that cable snaps….CRASH. It would be just my luck to be inside when that happened. I do not like chances I can’t control.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, I stepped out into the hallway. At once, the stench hit me and my stomach roiled. Swallowing hard, I saw two men down the corridor to the left. They looked out of place with the pastel walls and nondescript pinkish abstract pictures in discreet gray frames. The smaller of the two, if you could call him smaller since he was built like a fireplug and had the temperament of a bulldog, was George Goetz, the best arson investigator in town. With him, tall, built and looking more than a little impatient was Lt. Sam Smith. He beckoned me forward, his chocolate brown eyes troubled and, unless I missed my guess, uneasy about something beyond what he’d found in the office behind him.

My stomach rolled again and this time it had nothing to do with the smell of burnt meat filling the corridor. I knew that look in my lieutenant’s eyes, and I hated it. I prayed I’d leapt to the wrong conclusion. But it would take something extraordinary to get him to call me out when he had to justify every cent he paid in overtime.

Unfortunately, his idea of extraordinary meant something I didn’t like when he applied it to me. Well, truth to tell, he didn’t particularly like it anymore than I did but that didn’t keep him from taking advantage of it either.

But I had to be wrong this time. Once had been more than enough. God might have a sense of humor but surely even He wouldn’t do this to me twice.

Sure He would, sweet cheeks. After all, He led me to you, didn’t He?

Lips pressed tight, my free hand balling into a fist at my side, I did my best to ignore the voice. Not that it would do much good if he insisted on speaking up. That much I’d learned since my all too friendly ghost had showed up unwanted and unexpected three months ago. And, so far, I hadn’t found a way to get him to leave…or even to leave me alone.

“Rye,” Smith said.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. The strain in his voice and around his eyes warned me I’d been right. I wasn’t going to like this. The milky quality to his tan warned that whatever lay in the office beyond was bad. Very bad.

Maybe I could still figure out some way to bow out of this case before going inside.

But I knew better. There wasn’t a chance in Hell I’d be able to do it…even if I’d seriously considered it. This was my job. No matter how bad it was, I had a duty to collect all the evidence I could find and then use it to help put the perp away for as long as possible.

The lieutenant didn’t say anything else. Instead, he reached out and pushed open the office door. As he did, I realized we stood outside Howard Champion’s office. Oh my, had something actually happened to the man I’d caught my husband with?

Alarm bells ringing in my head, I took a hesitant step forward only to be knocked back by the stench of burned flesh coming from inside the office. My eyes watered and I fought back the urge to vomit. Not wanting to but knowing I had no choice, I forced myself to look inside.

Damn it all!  No wonder he sent for me.

Look at it this way, sweet cheeks. We get to work with the delish Lt. Sam. It’s worth it, isn’t it?

Shut up. Just shut the hell up.

#     #     #     #

You can pre-order Darkship Renegades by Sarah A. Hoyt through Amazon and other retailers.

Dog and Dragon by Dave Freer can be ordered through Amazon and other booksellers or the e-book can be ordered through Baen.

ConVent (book one in the Vampire Con series) and ConFur (a short story in the Vampire Con Series) by Kate Paulk are available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Naked Reader Press.

The Calvanni (book one in the Jakirian Series) and Flight of the Phoenix (a prequel) by Chris McMahon are available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Naked Reader Press.

Book 1 in the Nocturnal Lives Series

Nocturnal Origins,

Nocturnal Serenade

and Nocturnal Haunts by Amanda S. Green are available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Naked Reader Press.