Sheep Who Think They’re Wolves

Lately this ridiculous blog post has made the rounds, written by some guy who was mugged, but was sure he deserved it because of his privilege.

The blog post was not a surprise to me.

Years ago, an online friend about ten years younger and from a considerably more comfortable background than mine, was ambushed at the grocery store by someone who forced her – at gun point – to go to two or three ATMs in town and withdraw the maximum allowed and give it to him.

If it had been me…

First of all, it wouldn’t have been me, because I come from a more dangerous time and place. Someone tries to kidnap you from a store, and take you, in a car to another place, you fight right there and right then, with everything you have, even if it’s just screaming your heart out. Because there’s a very good chance someone taking you away from the populated place to a deserted one ah… doesn’t have your continued survival at heart. It has been pointed out to me (several times) that I’m a paranoid woman, or at least not a naturally trusting one. We’ll say that on at least a half dozen occasions this has saved my life.

So, if it were me, I would not have gone. I’d have kicked, screamed and applied elbow to stomach. Even if someone had picked me up from the parking lot of the grocery store, I’d figure at least there were cars around. (Hint, never park in a deserted area at night/when the parking lot is not well attended.)

More likely, anyone trying that trick would end up with a knife in an inconvenient place, because I usually carry more than one knife, and if you get close enough to press a pistol against my back where no one can see it, the least I can do is ensure you sing soprano the rest of your life. (And that’s if I can’t reach your gut.)

But let’s suppose that for whatever reason (I was on crutches and had laryngitis) this happened to me. How would I feel afterwards?

Mad. Hopping mad. Furious. I’d make it my personal mission to find the bastage and end his joy in life.

How did my friend feel? Guilty.

She sent out a long rambling message to the intent that really, how bad does someone’s life need to be that they’re willing to rob strangers at gun point?

Head>desk.

Where do people learn this? This unearned guilt in anything good they have, and this bizarre belief that anyone doing anything bad had a horrible life/childhood/background.

They learn it from us. That is, they learn it from writers. Books, TV…

You’ve heard the thing about making sure your villain isn’t just a villain, right? You have to give him/her/it a reason for what they do?

Unfortunately over the years this has morphed into the more sinned against than sinning villain, into the repressed/tortured villain. Into the person who lashes out because, like a tortured dog, they can’t help it.

Humans are not dogs.

Yes, there are people who do horrible things because horrible things were done to them. What percentage of evil doers fall in that category? We don’t know. We don’t know, because if questioned, every evildoer will say that’s why they do evil. Every evil doer will angle for sympathy. “I kicked the puppy because the kitten bit me.” “I stole Bobby’s pencil, because Mike stole mine.” “I robbed the bank because I was beaten as a child.”

The problem with this is that all of us, every one here, I’d bet, knows someone who had a horrible childhood, was beaten, was kept in the cold and rain, or whatever, and has never committed a single crime. All of us know people who had a tough as heck childhood and who are strivers, good friends, honest as the day is long, loyal spouses, gentle with kittens and puppies.

To say that to be yelled at one Sunday when you’re three will cause you to commit murder is to wrong everyone who had a horrible childhood.

It’s possible that it’s true for some people. One of the things we’ve found out is that some people are more resilient than others. Some people break easy. Some people break bad. People are not widgets.

But the other thing we know – we have to know – is that not everyone who is evil is more sinned against than sinned. Not everyone who hurts others has been hurt.

Look, we’re all flawed. Laziness is part of human nature. So is greed. It’s perfectly possible for someone who is lazy and greedy to decide he’d rather rob than work. I’ve heard of it/seen it happen. And so have you. Even back in kindergarten I knew people like this, and so did you.

They rob because they can, and because no one ever stopped them/they don’t think anyone will ever stop them.

This is a reason too. It’s not a sympathetic reason, but it’s a reason. (It’s a little more sympathetic if you realize the people who never set boundaries helped in these person’s lives, while they could still have learned and become normal, nice people, did them a grave injustice.) Having people take a sadistic pleasure in their power over others, or think that others owe them a living is a motivation.

Your villains don’t need to be saints.

The problem is that the narrative of the saintly villain leaves the good people – or people who are convinced everyone else is good – strangely unprotected. Not people like me, mind you. We’re not good. Or not that good. We’re good despite our bad, if that makes sense. But people who are good because they’re good, those people will read the books and imagine that every menace out there is a villain-with-a-heart-of-gold looking for an opportunity to redeem himself. They’ll think that every wolf has the heart of a lamb. And that if they commit heinous crimes it’s society’s fault, or the fault of the person being wronged.

The problem with this is that wolves are wolves. Being a particularly compliant lamb gives nothing, except convincing the wolf his mode of life is right, and he should go on eating tasty mouton. And the next victim might not escape with just property damage.

 

For Me, But Not For Thee – David Pascoe

For Me, But Not For Thee- David Pascoe

The teaser trailer for Episode Vee-Eye-Eye is out, and I imagine at least some of the Huns are excited, though I understand herself hold the franchise in some disdain. I, myself, am cautiously optimistic. Abrams has done – qualified – good things (and I’ll get to why I say that in a bit) with Star Trek, and I have hopes he’ll do something similar-but-better with the franchise nearest and dearest to my eight-year-old self’s heart.

/aside
I tried to hold out. I don’t need to see this, and besides, it’s probably crap. I mean, yeah, I was raised on Dad’s story of how he and Mom went to see Ep. 4 opening weekend in LA, and the line was three deep all the way around the block, and Mom held their spot while he went to the box office to find out the expected wait time, and the perky lass inside opened up the window and asked, “how many?” “For Star Wars?” *perky nod* “For the next showing?” *perky smile-and-nod* “Two, please,” and how he then went to find Mom and said, “Don’t say anything, just come with me.”

I watched the trilogy as often as I felt I could get away with it growing up (it hit all the right buttons in a very formative time, like happens) and listened to the Ep. 5 LP when I couldn’t do that. I was ecstatic when the Special (Snowflake) Editions were released in theaters, and went with a mess of friends (all two of ’em), and again when the prequels were released. Though I’d grown since childhood, even if George’s craft hadn’t. Consequently, I’m wary of this new thing. And then I watched it, and grinned. Well, fought a grin. Yes, I might get hurt, again, but … well: hope.
/end aside

And then a college buddy tossed me a <a href=”http://www.kxly.com/news/beale-how-star-wars-ruined-scifi/29980964″>link</a>, and my blood boiled. Not just for the unfair characterization of my generation by one (I’m presuming, which is better than assuming, which makes a posterior of you and Ming and leaves me out of it (and Ming is a jerk, as all know)) but for the sneering assumption that science fiction is some sort of closed club only open to those of correct opinion and award-winning status. The right awards, of course: those for literary quality, not the Franklin award for people-will-give-up-hard-earned-lucre for your work. What really sent the steam escaping from under my collar with a animalistic howl was the blatant superiority of the smug little op-ed cloaked in weary resignation (tying in well with Sarah’s post yesterday).

Elitism. We can’t ever seem to get rid of it. I’m talking specifically about scifi fandom, here, though it applies to humanity in general, since we’re tribal by nature. I blame that whole mess at Babel a while back. Really screwed things up for the rest of us, the jerks. Anyway, this smug superiority that separates

We see this all over the place, really. Check out the people at the top of the political pyramid, our self-proclaimed leaders. The top man claims it’s fine for him to violate law and tradition, and rule by executive <del>fiat</del>privilege, but not for the next person to occupy the office in which he squats. His subordinates, from his number two on down blatantly violate the laws by which the rest of us are expected to abide. And so they target law abiding citizens for a harassment only “legal” because it’s fine when they do it. By this example, they encourage others to participate in similarly thuggish acts, such as <a href=”http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2012/05/29/the_lefts_dangerous_new_line_of_attack_swatting”>targeting</a> <a href=”http://www.forbes.com/sites/danielnyegriffiths/2014/11/07/bungie-executive-swatted-in-sammamish-wa-home/”>people</a> with whom they have some imagined beef. Or, y’know, just <a href=”http://monsterhunternation.com/2014/09/02/the-guardians-village-idiot-admits-to-libel/”>libel on an international forum</a> (sure, Al Grauniad’s pet attack-chihuahua isn’t an American citizen, but he <i>is</i> part of the elitist mob of SJWs. so there’s that).

An entire generation – it seems – is trying to get in good with the cool kids and their vitally important failed economic and pseudo-scientific religious dogma, and those of us who simply want to enjoy what we enjoy become the sacrificial scapegoats in their quest for politically correct enlightenment.

Anyway, as I said, it’s rearing its ugly head, <a href=”http://www.kxly.com/news/beale-how-star-wars-ruined-scifi/29980964″>again</a>. From the location, it could be somebody hoping to build cred in preparation for WorldCon next year. A cursory – and therefore possibly incorrect – exercise of google-fu suggests the writer of the op-ed may be a journalist and film critic. Pure speculation, but we’re mad here, and I like to stir the pot. Regardless of the origins, this particular bit of nonsense claims that Star Wars ruined science fiction FOREVAR because it’s not about ideas, but about action.

Never mind the concepts of authoritarianism versus popular government, or the good/evil struggle writ large and small. Let us not speak of love and friendship, of the tug of family ties to an orphan, or the impact of the destruction of a planet at the whim of a tyrannical aristocrat, the questions of free will and destiny that are worked out in the swing of lightsaber and the explosion of spaceships. No, those aren’t important ideas like slavery and sexual identity are important ideas.

I get it. Star Wars isn’t your deal, guy. That’s cool: I’m not an enormous Trek fan, and the recent Battlestar did nothing for me. Just don’t throw up your hands in disgust when people <i>do</i> love a thing you don’t. Don’t belittle them sidelong for enjoying the actions or scope of something limited by its medium, and then claim the Matrix is the most creative scifi film of the last two and a half decades.

Because it’s not about that. Really.

It’s about drawing in new fans. Attracting people (young and old) who would otherwise look upon us Odds with contempt or – at least – bewildered confusion. I loathe most of Episode 1, but darned if my buddy’s kid doesn’t love him some Jar Jar and pod racing, and will grow up a science fiction fan because of it.

But sure, react – or not – with your ennui at where the genre has gone. Be disgusted because the Forever War hasn’t been made into a film, and the attempts at Dune have been flawed. Pine for a never-made Neuromancer that couldn’t be made when cyberpunk was The Thing, and won’t be made now because it’s not. That’s cool that you want to keep scifi pure and about Big Ideas. SFWA agrees with you, at least. The Hugo voters are all about these big ideas that were new when Gilgamesh was written, and when Homer was telling a story about a dude who just wanted to get home after a war.

The more you tighten their grasp, the more fans will slip through your fingers.

And there we’ll be, shining a light of fun stories and big heroes.

UPDATE: Message from Sarah (like a message from Fred but weirder.)  Older son’s weirdest story yet, Candyworld,  should be free today, though possibly not that early morning.  Anyway, keep checking.

It’s a Cyber Monday Sale

Whom The Gods Love is Free for the next five days (I’m going to try to do the thing where I keep something free through the end of the year!)

Consider Hoyt for your Holiday Gifts!

Actually it’s a December sale.  Yesterday I was so out of it that I went and changed the prices without putting in “for a limited time only” — though to be fair, it’s at least until Christmas, but all the same.

Witchfinder is on sale for 3.99!

Musketeer Mystery Series is on sale for 2.99 a piece!





So is Crawling between Heaven And Earth, a collection of 17 (I think) of my earliest published short stories.

So is Ill Met By Moonlight

And All Night Awake:

I forgot to set Any Man So Daring but it will be on a sale in a couple of hours.

The collection of the three books, the Magical Shakespeare Omnibus is up for 5.99

No Will but His is 2.99

Wings will be on a countdown sale starting at 99c on the 10th of December.

Refuse the Despair

*I am alive.  Long story, but I’ve only been awake a little more than an hour.  And last night I was too out of it to write a post.*

Yesterday I was looking at pictures of friends in France. They’re about my age and their kids are the age of mine.

Now, most of my pictures on line (though not all) are of conventions and fan events, because my facebook page is a professional page, not a personal one. (I would start a personal one, but most of my personal life is just my kids, and if they’re looking on FB for pictures, they’re ill. Now this might change as the kids move out/get a life/live in other states, but right now there’s no point.)

So, my pictures are different. But we also have family pictures. We used to do a thing every year where we took pictures of events throughout the year, and the things the kids participated in, then narrated it, put it together, and sent a CD to the grandparents.

We don’t do that anymore – mostly time issues – but we do still take pictures, now on the – increasingly rare – occasions when the four of us do something fun together, like go to a special event at a museum or take an overnight trip somewhere. (The last one I can remember, absent cons) is the Van Gogh exhibit in Denver which we took in last year on Black Friday.)

The thing is, in all these pictures, my kids are smiling, or goofing off, or even giving each other the stink eye.

Our family pictures involve stuff like mini-golfing together and posing around fiberglass animals. Or pretending to be swept out with the monumental dust-pan and broom outside the Denver Art Museum. Or Marshall looking very sophisticated (but not bored) in his leather blazer, looking at pictures.

Yesterday I read this at Ace of Spades, so I was primed to think how much people, consciously, try to make their lives look like “they should”.

And then I looked at pictures from France. I think all of us have watched at least one French movie, right?

Well, pictures from France, even pictures of people my kids’ age all transmit that “the world is a dingy place and we’re all hard eyed realists with incredibly complex sex lives” look of French movies.

Is it true?

Oh, heck no, no more than street cars mentioned by Ace are romantic or beautiful or anything like that. This is just the image sold in the movies. Most people in France, except for the issues brought on by socialism (break up of families, high unemployment, pervasive bureaucracy) live the same small, happy lives as anyone else. You know, someone to love, something to do, something to eat. Lives just comfortable enough they don’t struggle for more.

But how much you enjoy how you live and what you perceive as “the good life” can definitely be influenced by what you see. And that in turn changes what you do and what you see around you, and therefore your mood.

It’s probably not a coincidence that France has one of the highest rates in the world for consumption of anti-depressives.

For some reason – and it has to do with taking a really weird turn at the romantics and then getting stuck with more socialist realism than should be possible outside the Soviet union – they internalized the idea that high art is vaguely boring and definitely pessimistic (here I think it’s a great deal too bad that most of their “art” is protected from competition with foreign art by various stupid laws, and is subsidized with stipends allocated by bureaucrats, for whom, of course, life is both boring and pessimistic, with shades of sadism.)

And so, even though they might have been able to get around the blight of socialism, in time, and even though they live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth, they’ve internalized self-hatred, unhappiness as a sort of chic accoutrement, and the meaninglessness of their own quotidian life. (Which, even without socialism would make their family lives a mess and taking daily pleasure in things difficult.)

So, what does this have to do with anything other than beating the French? (Admittedly always a good pastime, particularly since I’m writing stuff in Liberte seacity.)

Simple: a lot of our high culture is French. It is sometimes French by way of Germany, but it is French. Most of our glitterati love French culture and by that I don’t mean the good stuff like what Mr. Du Toit appreciates (I have some favorite French writers, myself.) No, most of them admire the more recent stuff, not even the French cinema, but the pictures they get from friends who go on vacation there. They admire the air of being unutterably bored and depressed and the way everyone there seems to accept the world is on a handbasket ride to h*ll. It’s so… sophisticated!

In their minds, most of our glitterati are hanging out in cafes, smoking thin little cigarettes and sneering at the world.

I mean, most of them aren’t even looking at France but at American movies that show France, but they think it’s all so unutterably romantic and so much better than our cowboy can-do attitude, and they want to think life means nothing and all is lost so they can be just like the French.

In fact, the insanity in SF/F now reminds me a lot of the French science fiction of the seventies. (It was excusable. It was after all the seventies.) Stranger and stranger sexual identities, tearing down of all taboos, life is a bitch. Humans are evil. And then you die. Check.

Look, yesterday a friend sent me a picture of what can only be called a cave-world in China. The first comment was “Now that it’s discovered, humans will destroy it.” And it was followed by upteen comments agreeing with this.

Now, the caves will almost surely be despoiled, because it’s a communist regime. (duh.) But not because it’s “humanity” and even if it were, why the heck SHOULDN’T they be despoiled? (Other than scientific investigation, natch.) I mean, what is their intrinsic value outside of humanity studying/admiring them? And yep, a dozen of the comments were “Humans should just die off, they ruin everything.” Uh… everything for whom? If there are not humans, who appreciates/gives aesthetic value to anything? If an elephant paints in the forest and no human sees it, did it really happen?

These people clearly did not believe in this – no, seriously – For one, they were all still alive. No one can go to life hating themselves that much and survive. But it was the pose to strike to appear intelligent, in comments, in novels, in drawings, in…

To be hopeful and happy is to be low brow. To show yourself intelligent you need to despair in the approved Socialist-realist way.

The problem with this is that this sort of thing seeps into the culture by forming the younger people. It forms their attitudes and their beliefs. They are too unsophisticated to know the adults don’t really mean it, so they mean it a little more.

After a few generations you’re stuck with people so depressed, they will accept overlords, even barbaric overlords who stone women and gays, if it will save them from their ennui and their depressive view of the world.

And therein lies the rub. The helplessness of modern “realism” is a gateway drug to being sheep in thrall of totalitarians.

You’re so tired of despair and sadness, and yet you know the world is terrible and you want to atone for any happiness you still feel. So you give in to petty tyrants like the people in SFWA who change the rules and tell you you’re bad because you used the word they just forbid. Or whatever. And you abase yourself and feel dirty and miserable.

Until a really big tyrant, like, oh, Mao or Stalin or the despicable Che, come along and free you from your guilt by more than likely killing you, and if not making you wish they had.

It doesn’t have to be like that. On comments, on books, on drawings, refuse to follow the blinkered “chic unhappiness” of the elites. Laugh at their poses of sadness and thoughtfulness. They’re like little kids trying to look serious so we’ll think they’re grown up.

Mock, contradict, ignore, replace.

In the end we win, they lose.

It has to be so, if humanity is to survive.

Refuse the easy rewards of the merchants of despair. Build your life on hard work and can-do.

Something Learned, Something Blue

Things we’ve learned this month: people die. In fact, over the last two months, any number of readers of this blog have found this out.

Okay, we knew that already. I still remember the weird shock that someone close to me COULD die, when I was fourteen and my paternal grandfather died. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know it happened – the test is simple. Are your great great grandparents alive? If not there’s a good chance you’re mortal. If yes, are their parents alive? If not, see previous. – it just had never happened and some part of the human mind is experiential. We believe what we’ve experienced. And somehow experiencing death in books is not the same, because those people having been part of your life your entire life.

I suppose it’s the same thing when a friend your age dies. At least when you’re middle-aged and the death is not accidental. It leaves you feeling a touch of memento moris and carpe diem. And as we all know when you come down with a touch of Latin it’s all downhill from there.

Okay, fine, seriously, experienced – which surprises me a little as my faith has never been iron-clad – I’m feeling this as though Alan has gone away. It’s just that when your friends move out or leave town, you can call them and eventually see them again – which obviously doesn’t apply when they die.

What I mean is the “feel” of it is that he still exists but elsewhere, but not being able to get in touch with him is going to make things very tough and does, coming up against small things every other day, because so many of our history and references are joint, that even though in the last few years we only saw each other a few times a year, you hit that spot in your mind a lot – like stubbing your toe in the dark.

Anyway, among the things I learned is that when your friends die it’s not like when a beloved pet dies. I wrote Darkship Thieves as a NaNoWrimo the month Petronius the Arbiter died, and I spent a lot of time just writing. Oh, I missed Pete a lot, but somehow it was easier to get over or forget for a few hours.

So, NaNowrimo came to complete halt for two and a half weeks. It’s moving again now, but yesterday was a lost day because I had to clean the house, at least minimally. For some reason, I don’t transition well from house-cleaning to writing. It’s not being exhausted, it’s a mental switch thing. I pop out of writing mode and into “Is there really a mountain of cat toys under that bookcase” mode.

Some things in life are like that. One of the things I realized, back when I still sent stories out on spec (how odd that sounds. I will be doing it again soon, too, with Analog) is that I went through phases. There were phases in which I wrote like a banshee and stuff stayed in the drawer, and phases in which I sent stuff out.

Even the vaunted year of a story a week, nothing got sent out until I missed the occasional week. Not sure why, that was just the way it was.

Now the same seems to apply to the indie publishing. I have a mountain of short stories ready to put up – mine and Robert’s – and while short stories make almost nothing, they do help greatly if I keep one free a week over this season. Only, I’ve not done it. I even have covers. But the minutiae detail seems like … an impossible hurdle.

I’m going to try to get something up for cyber Monday and put some things on sale, though.

And today, since the cleaning is done, I’m going to be working on Through Fire. I dreamed the rest of the book last night, which we know is what I do before I finish it.

You see, for the two years I’ve been slogging through this, I’ve had this scene in my mind, of Zen with someone drifting in the ocean at the end of the novel. I now know who is in the boat with her, and why they’re drifting, and why that scene is the needed end to THIS novel. I can only say “you’ll see.” It used to puzzle me excessively. But now I “get” it and it works with the theme and everything.

Okay. And now I go write.

 

Intercepted Communication On The Glitter-Wave

As you all know, I went to an interstellar workshop recently and I was put in the C for Com (communication) work group. Little did I know that this work would come in useful so soon. It appears that through extremelytechydium, this blog has detected communications to the stars* from a race of infiltrators that has been among us for centuries. It explains both the SJWs on Twitter yesterday and the killjoy who thought he could browbeat us with half-baked history and “facts” that never happened.

I am not sure of my translation, of course. You know how difficult it is to understand an alien language, and this one is one of the most difficult. Frankly, if so much of it hadn’t been integrated into Marxism and other leftist twattery** it would be completely opaque.

Dear Masters*** of the Glitter Universe, from your servant Glitterbot, on the third planet from Sol, spiral arm of the Milkyway [they appear to call it something that might be fish-semen, but we’ll use our familiar name] Nebula in the farthest regions [lit. where the nether pointing tentacle cannot reach.]

I must trust this report to the star-waves, in hopes it will explain to you the difficulties I’ve run into in this the fourth 1×100 revolution of this miserable rock around its star  that I’ve witnessed from this planet’s forsaken surface.

As was planned, after I landed, I set about examining the dominant species. One would hesitate to call them sentients, or at least I’ve had plenty of reason to suspect they’d been easily led. Until this– But more on that later.

As per your shining instructions, when I landed, I discovered this species – which calls itself hooman – had one great weakness in that it developed in a saltational manner. By this I mean that one part of it would advance towards a culture that would make it capable of granting greater comfort and stability to its members and then, by invading other cultures, or simply by the other cultures imitating them, the whole world would be pulled up to that level, before the next leap. It had happened several times.

It was obvious that like the Glitter Race and others that we managed to stop just in time, this process would, according to some natural progression of intelligence lead this species to starfaring and, eventually to challenge your magnificence, oh, lords of the shining universe.

I set about exploring its differential development to our purposes, and here I must ask you to admire me, because their flaw was much smaller than the cannibalistic species in Alpha Centauri, or the slaver races of Arcturus. And yet would be enough and serve.

I set about convincing the civilization at the time spearheading the push towards better living and more knowledge that they were evil and that the savage forms of its own species were the best and most noble of them all.

It was not easy since this civilization, then in the process of spreading across the globe, was aggressive and self-assured.

It necessitated the spawning of several copies of myself, designed to look like the local race, and prepared to spread this message to the natives.

Among those humble replicas of myself, I want to recommend, for our holograms of eternal remembrance, the one called Jean Jacques Rosseau, the first one to write movingly on how savages were the most advanced of their race and how every attempt to civilize them was a crime. This idea, propagating itself like poison through their culture has led to every other civilization-weakening misery-increasing belief.

It took a while, of course, but for almost a century now, the technological and innovating arm of their civilization has felt guilty over its advances and spent much time writing novels and scholarly treatises**** and making movies about how much better the most barbarous and cruel of their kind, living in civilizations that had exterminated all large, edible land dwelling animals, instead of domesticating them, were “the best” and “lived in harmony with nature.”

The guilt of those more comfortable ones over living better than their brethren did the rest. I had to extrude another few replicas of myself, going by the names of Marx and Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Mao, creating a theory of civilization and governance that extolled brutal oppression which by itself greatly reduced these creatures’ population, as well as creating a philosophy which if applied by definition makes the worst rise to the top, stops all technological development, and reinforces the idea that there is something magical in the primitive.

They are a learning species and they did the rest. A replicant here and there was enough. Provided the position, no matter how non-sensical is imbued with “class prestige” the rest of these apes will try to imitate it. Thus the same mechanism that led to their rise from flint-chipping apes to makers of synthetic materials can be used against them.

Fifty years ago, I thought that by now I would be reporting to you that I’d so far convinced them they were despicable and to be detested that they would line up and thank the glittery master race as they mowed the planet with their death-dealing rays.

I’m not quite sure what happened.

I’d made sure, like any advance scout of taking over their communication structure, the means by which they teach their young and the means by which they tell themselves who they are. I swear by the glittery center [lit, vagina] of the universe that I had them fully under my control. Even when they found ways to communicate person-to person and to tell themselves stories with no referent to the structures of power, I thought they’d been well enough indoctrinated to tell only the stories I taught them and complete their self abasement [lit. castration.]

But something happened along the way and these impertinent apes have been throwing off the so-carefully planted suggestions and storylines. They have been doing their own research and discovering things such as that no, most of the primitive races displaced by the slightly more advanced races at the time (the difference was small enough to be barely noticeable) weren’t more competent and certainly were not more respectful of “nature” – a concept I never understood, since star-traveling races like you, oh, glittery masters, create their own environment – and also that the “genocide” story I propagated was mostly due to infection by diseases to which herders and cattle-tamers had become immune while the races I carefully said were superior had preferred to eat animals into extinction rather than tame them. I also carefully hid the fact that the natives of those cultures had in fact not been exterminated so much as melded with the invaders, as has always been the way of this race, and I called any attempt to restore history a vile oppressor-race-aggrandizing narrative, when in fact these creatures are all so genetically similar as to have virtually no races.

I’ve also set their females against their males by claiming that sensible measures to ensure the reproduction of the species were oppression. In the most susceptible ones – in their education establishment – I’ve fostered the idea that oppression and reproduction are one and the same.

Yes, oh, Shiny [lit. Glittery] Masters [lit. Vaginas] of the Stars, I was well on my way to winning your war without a laser being fired.

Just recently, one of their females of their own accord, one Rose Eveleth [For whom I would like to claim the high Galactic Title of Vagina Vigilante] made a scientist who landed on a comet cry over his choice of wear which indeed did nothing but display the beauty (for them. I’ve not gone native) of the females of the species.

So, how is it I’m asking for help immediately?

Lately even the replicants I extrude seem to have lost control of the story line [lit. narrative] and there are indications these low apes are starting to suspect our narrative tends to nothing but making them loathe themselves. They are starting to say things such as that every race, throughout history, has committed crimes and horrors, and that this is normal because natural creatures aren’t perfect. Which as you know bodes well for their considering your emissaries perfect when they land. More, they’ve started to say that they like being hooman, warts and all. There is even a movement afoot to tell stories that laud hoomans as hoomans, and which encourage hoomans to reach for the stars and form their own galactic empire.

I don’t know what to do. My every attempt to shame them into submission – recently by attacking their primitive form of holo-play, by saying that it was not worthy, being a form of entertainment that aimed at enjoyment – meets with resistence and, worse, with derision.

I very much fear something has gone wrong in my control of the culture. My attempts to get them back in line by the pronouncements of their respected elders [lit. Massive Vaginas of the Establishment] is greeted with nothing but gales of laughter as they ignore these pronouncements and continue to escape my control.

I can only beg you that you, Oh, Glittery Masters [Lit – female reproductive organ] come quickly. Though you’ll meet with resistance to your death ray now, it’s likely to be smaller than it will be in fifty years.

In fact, unless you strike right now, I’m very much afraid they will be headed for the stars and will challenge your great and glittering magnificence [lit. Twattery] in your own homeworld.

I realize it might be too late, but while such creatures exist as the wonderful Vagina Vigilante mentioned abroad, ready to hate and debase members of her own species and her own species process in favor of an imaginary better, there is hope the resistance will not be too fierce.

Yours in Glitter

The Humble infiltrator who tries to communicate with plants.*****

 

Footnotes:

 

*No. Of course not really. Stop reading news from the White House. It’s so appallingly unbelievable that it destroys your sense of disbelief.

 

**Totally a word. I did tell you, did I not, of the woman in the village whose family nickname was “the lighted c*nt” (Or perhaps “the lit c*nt” or “the luminous c*nt” – translation is like that.) I suspect it related to some accident centuries back in which some ancestress tried to get over a private infestation with fire. But for the last day I’ve been giggling over translating it as “Glittery Hoo Ha.” So, take this as leftist shiny twattery

*** The words here translated as Masters or Lords, as a conventional sign of respect, show some indication of being in literal translation, the word for the female reproductive organ of this species (whose number of sexes is very hard to determine since, though their bodies seem to come in standard male and female format, they seem to identify by a variety of compound forms. We’re not sure what purpose this serves, and it seems an hindrance to reproduction. Perhaps the extreme rarity of their reproduction fuels their aggressive dislike of any other breed making it to the stars.)

**** It’s amazing what some people believe.

***** Literally “Cabbage head.”

Thanksgiving

Surely you don’t expect a full post from me today, do you?

Some things I’m very thankful for, despite the fact this has been a rocky year:

– my health seems to be improving, if not yet up to snuff

– my writing is slowly coming back (not rushing is tough.)

– Witchfinder did surprisingly well.

– The family is all healthy, and the boys are both working towards their careers/goals.

– There is indie, as well as Baen.  Baen is as always a haven and family, and indie gives me an additional outlet, as well as hope that we can turn this culture around.  (Keep working, guys.  Keep working.)

– There is still America.  Wounded, sure, and brought low, but still here and still ours.  Rebuilding is easier than inventing, and if the USA didn’t exist we’d have to invent ‘er.

– Good friends,including present company, even if most of you are probably figments of my imagination.  (You’re very nice figments.)

This link here will take you to my e-card to Hoyt’s Huns and Hoydens.  It’s a pleasure knowing you, guys.  G-d bless every argumentative one of you. You’ve got me through some rough patches and (looks at feet) I love you guys!  And for this, too, I’m thankful.

Don’t Hate Me ‘Cause I’m Human — A blast from the past post Dec. 2010

There’s this disturbing trend I’ve observed recently – okay, the last thirty years.

It’s part of what I was talking about yesterday, in a way. For a book to be considered serious, or introspective or relevant, it has to attack the past or western culture or civilization or tech or… humanity.

Not that there is anything wrong with attacking these, mind, to an extent. And they used to be shockers and a very good way to attract attention immediately. And I’m not saying the mindlessly chauvinistic “our people, right or wrong” was much better. For instance, the cowboy-and-Indian trope became really tired after a while and when my brother gave me a book called – I think – (in Portuguese translation) The Mace of War, detailing all the injustices against Native Americans it was a mind-altering experience. Literally. And very worth it. [Though I later found it was also full of politically correct made up stuff like the small pox blankets.  In fact the book might have been of the school of false-Amerindian “History” that gave us what’s his face at Colorado College.  OTOH it was a good way to make me think outside the mindless trope of afternoon serials — note from 2014 Sarah.]

I’m just saying that these days, by default what you hear is against-whatever-the-dominant-culture is.

I first realized this when I was studying for my final exam in American culture in college. The book changed opinions and contradicted itself but it was ALWAYS against the winners and against whatever ended up being the status quo. So, the book was against the North of the US, because the North… won. Even though it had before been against slavery. It was very much against modern US and raged against… embalming practices for three or four pages. (Because they divorce us from the Earth. Just SILLY stuff.)

And then I started noting this trend in everything, including fiction. Think about it. Who is to blame in any drama: the US; the successful; the British; the Europeans; the… humans.

Years ago when Discovery Channel put out its “future evolution” series, my kids and I were glued to the screen. We’re the family for whom the Denver Museum of Nature And Science is home away from home, the place we will visit if we have an afternoon free, the place where we have watched lectures and movies. I refer to it as “molesting dinos” and it’s usually my way to celebrate finishing a book.

So we were glued to the TV. Except that after the beginning, I realized the way it was going, and I started predicting it. Instead of taking a “what might humans become” the people who wrote this went down a path where first humans and then everything VAGUELY related to humans became successively extinct, till the only warm-blooded survivor was a bird, and then that too became extinct. In the end, tree-dwelling SQUIDS inherited the Earth.

Yes, you DID read that right. Tree. Dwelling. SQUIDS.

The contortions were capricious and often absurd, but you could predict where it was going.

It’s been a while since we had cable, but I understand there was a very popular series called “Life After US” about what would happen to the works of humans if we were suddenly extinct. And people watched it, fascinated and – from the tones of posts about it – a little wistful.

This is when you must step back and go “What is wrong with us?” “Is this a sickness of the soul?”

The answer? Yes and no.

Part of it, of course, is wanting to shock, wanting to revolutionize, wanting to be innovative… in safe ways – in (dare we say it?) politically correct ways. It’s easy and approved of to attack: males, America, western civ, humans.

People who select works at publishers and studios and all that are often liberal arts graduates and they come from this curious world where they still think the establishment is circa 1950s and that they’re telling something new and wonderful.

Part of it is, of course, that we do see problems in our own culture, in our own society, in our own species. Of course we do. We are an introspective culture. We examine our consciences, we find ourselves lacking, we try to improve. This is, in general a good thing – though perhaps a little perspective is also in order.

Part of it is politeness/sensitivity to other cultures, mingled with the consciousness our ancestors were often wrong. We’ve been taught the crimes of colonizers in various lands and most of those colonizers (and colonized, at least for most of us) were our ancestors. We’re conscious we’re big and others are smaller. It’s a peculiar form of noblesse oblige. We don’t want to trample others by pointing out faults in other cultures or other species. I understand this, because I learned to drive in my thirties and lived in a mountain town with lots of foot traffic downtown. I was excruciatingly careful driving through there, because I could crush a pedestrian and not notice. This is why we tend to turn our flagellation upon ourselves.

And part of it is sicker/darker. I notice this tendency every time we discuss a great figure of the past, from George Washington to Heinlein – as different as they are. I call it “counting coup.” George Washington? Well, he was slave owner. And he had wooden teeth. And Lincoln? Well, he was very ill, and besides, he was probably gay and in the closet. Heinlein? Despite all his efforts at including – for his time – minorities and giving women starring roles, he must have been closet racist and sexist, donchaknow? Because he doesn’t fit OUR superior notions of inclusiveness.

What is going on here – besides tearing at our own past, and thereby continuing the self-flagellation – is being able to prove we are “superior” to these high achievers. We might do nothing and achieve nothing, but we are superior beings because we’re more moral than they are.
Individually, none of these trends is really bad – or at least not for those of us who grew up with the opposite tradition.

Oh, the constant and predictable chest-beating becomes boring. At least it does for me. Maybe it doesn’t for other people?

But think of (grin) the children. They have no perspective. All they hear is how their country, their culture, their SPECIES is evil. How things would be so much better without us… How things would – ultimately – be much better if… THEY hadn’t been born.

It’s not healthy. It’s vaguely disgusting. And the best it can do is engender the MOTHER of all backlashes and bring about a cultural chauvinism the likes of which you’ve never seen. The worst… well, one of the other cultures we don’t criticize because they’re small and we’re big becomes the norm.

And before you cheer them on, let me put this in perspective: Western civ has committed crimes. ALL human cultures throughout history have committed crimes. Slavery? Since the dawn of time. Exploitation? Since the dawn of time. Murder? War? Genocide? Yep, and yep, and yep. And many of those cultures STILL do all of those things and don’t feel in the slightest bit guilty, mostly because we handily and frequently blame OURSELVES for their behavior and they get our books, our TV series and our movies.

Such as it is, the West has brought the greatest freedom, prosperity and security to the greatest population.

Yes, there were crimes committed, but a lot of them were the result of a clash of world views – tribalism met the state. Look, it’s not that Native Americans or Africans lived in a state of innocence and harmony with nature. If you believe that, you need to study history and put down Jean Jacques Rosseau. And get out of your mom’s basement. And take the Star Trek posters off the wall. And the Avatar poster, too, while you’re at it.

To the extent the native peoples were innocent and helpless, it was because of their mental furniture. What gave colonizers the edge was not their weapons or civilization (Oh, come on, back then, there wasn’t that much of a distance.) It was their mental furniture. To wit, they had overcome tribalism and organized on a large scale. Most of the colonized (excepting some small empires) hadn’t. So they would attack in ways that worked in tribal warfare: exterminate a village or an outpost. And the reaction of the colonizers (who by the way also didn’t understand the difference in mental furniture and therefore thought this made the native peoples’ “bestial” or “evil) was to exterminate all of a tribe or a federation of tribes. And it worked because westerners were united as a MUCH larger group. Which made them stronger. Western civilization started overcoming tribalism with the Romans. That was the real innovation.

If you think that we’re rich because of those acts, you must study economics. It doesn’t work that way. If anything those acts made all of us worse off. We’re way past any wealth we could plunder off others. We’ve created wealth. The whole world lives better than it did five hundred years ago.

And if you’re going to tell me the fact that all humans are flawed proves that we’re a bad species, you’ll have to tell me: As opposed to what? Dolphins are serial rapists. Chimps commit murder. Rats… Every species we examine has our sins, but none of our redeeming qualities.

Heinlein said it was important to be FOR humanity because we’re human. Beavers might be admirable, but we’re not beavers. He was right. But beyond all that, we’re the only species that tries self-perfecting. We exist – as Pratchett said – at the place where rising ape meets falling angel, but as far as I know, we’re the only species reaching upward. (Of course, we wouldn’t know if there are others and again, we have to assume we are it. The others have flaws too.)

We are part of the world and in it. To love the other animals of the Earth – or the hypothetical alien – and hate us is strange. Are we not animals? Are we not of the Earth? And who the heck can compete with sentients who exist only in the story teller’s imagination?

By all means, let’s protect the weaker. Let’s shelter the little. But let’s not beat ourselves because we’re bigger and stronger. Let’s USE our powers for good instead.

Am I saying that you shouldn’t tell these stories then?

No, I’m not. I would never repress anyone’s right to create, or anyone’s opinion. But I’m asking you to think. I’m asking you to pause and go “The west is bad… as opposed to? Humans are bad… as opposed to?” And tell your kids that, ask them those questions.

And then, perhaps, every now and then, try to imagine a story from the contrary view point. Just to wake things up. And to keep others thinking.

Because six decades of hating our own history, culture and species is enough.

Why brought he us from bondage?

There is a legend in Portugal, a just-so story to explain a place name.

The place is called Mira Gaia and is a place on the river shore, across which is Gaia. I say it’s a just-so story because I suspect the name comes from Roman times, when the place across the river was farms and the name is something like “farm look out point.” The Romans were known for imaginative and poetic names like that.

However, the legend goes to another time altogether. The Douro River used to separate Christian and Moor for a long time. (I don’t know how long the time was. Portuguese history is told in generalities. It’s a cultural thing.) Long enough that raids across the river were common, to capture slaves, at least from the Muslim side. (The Christians might have captured slaves too. There is talk of Moorish slaves, but again everything is fuzzy. The one thing I know for sure, because immortalized in oral history, tradition, storytelling and first person accounts, is that the Moors sent parties across the river to raid for slaves. There were admonitions specially for parties of pilgrims, never to be unprotected in certain locations.)

Before we go any further, much has been said about Islam in the “golden age” when they occupied the peninsula. It might surprise you to know that it’s been incredibly burnished. I.e. they might have allowed a little more learning and discussion of things-not-in-the-Koran mostly because these were the provinces, things were spread out and control was harder. But this was after they burned the library at Alexandria (This was the latest I heard, but in comments I’m informed it ain’t so, so we’ll simply say they burned more books than they preserved, even if they’re given credit for the later) and their general treatment of women was about the same it is today. A female pilgrim – we are to understand, not just from poems and traditions, but from first hand diaries and accounts – could be expected to be treated like the girls taken by Boko Haram. I.e., multiple rape followed by being given away in a marriage that was nothing short of slavery.

In the same way, it will shock you to know that early Medieval Christianity has been much maligned. Oh, sure, a lot of it had adapted to local customs, both in worship (which often entailed giving the local god a saint’s name) and in treatment of women (and men.) But such as it was Christianity had one revolutionary belief (gotten from Judaism, of course) in the fact that women had souls. This means that, yeah, sure, women could be coerced into marriage (they still can, given a crazy enough family and enough pressure) but not with the knowledge of the cleric performing the ceremony. I suspect 1/3 of the “she was so pious she sought refuge in a convent” were women escaping from unbearable marriages they didn’t have the strength to refuse. The convent, too, provided women not just a safe place, but a place from which to make a contribution to society. Contrary to all the films about salacious sexual exploits in convents (if those went on, they were really, really stealthy, considering that communal life in those days was VERY communal) nuns made contributions not just in arts like culinary (most sweets recipes in Portugal come from “conventual recipes”) and lace-making, but also in reading, teaching, music, and even less gentle arts like agriculture. If Feminists had an ounce of shame or knowledge of history, they’d trace their origins to convents, where women proved they could support themselves, lead decent lives and contribute to society without men.

Now, was it all roses and wine? Oh, heck no. For one, in the middle ages, and in an area where wars were ongoing, to push back the invaders to North Africa, no one’s life was roses and wine. And for another, it was a time of might not only makes right, but might has to be respected because it can protect us. So a strong knight could certainly mistreat/lead his wife a dance. Male infidelity was absolutely accepted, while female infidelity, if you were lucky, got you sent back to your parents naked and mounted backwards on a mule.

(I will here remind idiots who have studied no history that this was not because men were uniquely evil and women uniquely victimized, but because – by the dictates of biology – men needed to ensure female fidelity if they were to be sure that the child they were raising, the one who would inherit everything, was actually theirs. Women OTOH might be materially harmed by their husband’s infidelity, but not to the point of not knowing who their children were.)

Still and all, from what I can determine from having read a lot of chronicles and biographies, a Christian woman’s life was still preferable to living with the Moors, particularly living with the moors as a captive.

Also, again, I paint with a broad brush. I’m sure individuals and circumstances varied. When I was young, my dad and I were fond of exploring castle ruins (all sorts of ruins, really) which were abandoned centuries ago and had neither been archeologically studied (there’s a treasure throve waiting in Portugal if you can get to them before these sites are obliterated to put up the newest stack-a-prol apartment.

In a castle, overlooking the Douro, a castle so overgrown that you could only tell it had been there by the foundations, we tripped on a tiny tomb – enough, say, for a toddler – with both the cross and the crescent inexpertly engraved on it.

Whose it was and what it might mean who knows. It could be the child of a Moorish captive and the local Lord and the mother have demanded that both symbols be on the tombstone. It is equally easy to conjure up the idea of a pair of star crossed lovers, burying their child and for good measure protecting him with both symbols.

Suffice it to say that as everywhere where two populations are at war and separated by a narrow natural barrier (the Douro is very hard to navigate, partly because it’s shallow in places. However, for a while, in Porto, it was forded by a bridge of boats. That bridge collapsed under the weight of people fleeing Gaia during the Napoleonic invasions. There is a plaque on the side, which propagates the legend that on the anniversary you can hear the screams and cries of people drowning as the bridge collapsed. No, I’ve never been brave enough to verify it.) some humans found their own private truces, and some humans found a hell worse than the general war. The thing about humans is that they are so human and religion or culture alone is not enough to dehumanize them.

At any rate, returning to the legend about Mira Gaia, which I’m telling you, because I dreamed of it, over and over and over again last night, and I am not sure what it means, exactly.

The legend goes that on their way from their wedding fist the Lord and Lady of X were assaulted by a party of raiding moors. It is understood, though never said, that the Lord was a bit the worse for the extensive celebrations, and so the moors stole his affianced wife.

He couldn’t rest, because he loved her truly (and blah blah blah) and night and day he thought about her. So, he got word she was living in Gaia, in the palace of a Moor prince who had silken blah blah blah.

Our brave knight, upon his horse which, I doubt me not, ran more swiftly than the moonlight, made to Gaia, scaled the walls of the prince’s palace, somehow without raising alarm fought many of the guards, then finally got into the chamber where the prince was sleeping the Knight’s wife, which according to legend, had been made part of the seraglio.

The knight fights and kills the prince (and btw the area wasn’t called Gaia yet at the time, according to legend, but the knight’s wife was) and takes his wife Gaia, and bundles her onto his horse, then bundles her onto a boat.

When they’re halfway crossing the Douro, the knight notices his wife is standing at the wrong end of boat (not the prow. Name is not coming) and looking towards the place she just left, crying and sighing.

He thinks she’s sorry for having been despoiled, etc, and tells her, “Gaia, come away from there. You don’t need to remember anymore. We’ll never speak of this.”

And she says amid sighs “I am looking one last time at the place where I was so happy with the man I loved whom you cowardly killed.”

At which point the knight is supposed to have said, “Then Mira, Gaia!” (mira, meaning look in the speech of the time and I believe still in Spanish.) And he drew his sword and cut her head off in a single stroke, burying her in the river by that portion on the shore now called Mira Gaia.

Why on Earth I spent the night dreaming of this, I don’t know. Again it is almost certainly a just-so story to explain a place name after the area and the lingo changed. So why should it haunt me?

Perhaps because I’ve lately been thinking – in the context of other countries and whether it is our right or even our duty to bring them closer to liberty – about liberty and captivity and the human attraction to both in different measures.

Perhaps my subconscious was trying to communicate something – who knows?

As most of you know I’m not pro-war save in the sense of defensive wars. OTOH I know enough history to know that a situation and culture which is possessed of animus against us, and drawers at looking after its own people, might not be a danger to us now, but will be a danger to us eventually. ICBM missiles go everywhere and judging by the efforts of North Korea and Iran, they will eventually be made even by people who can’t muster making a decent car.

We live in a world that the founding fathers couldn’t fully anticipate, and the shortness of our travel times might very well make – one day – imperative that we intervene before places become a danger to us. It’s sort of like living in a neighborhood with someone who kills small animals. Are you going to sit there and do nothing as he escalates to children?

I’m an agnostic on this. I say we leave them alone (not the people who kill small animals. I’d go nuts on them. I like animals) until they’ve proven they’re a material danger to us, and then we go in and we “pacify” them. But “pacification by bombing them into the 7th century” is one thing, and does one thing – it stops them for now. It might not stop them forever.

And they are humans too, like us, and at some point one starts thinking “What if they could be made like us? Isn’t just killing them an affront to all human kind?”

Here I must take a breath. You see, I like humans. And given the choice in any situation I’ll choose life.

But the human impulse to captivity is one that can’t be ignored. It’s not really an impulse to/liking of captivity, btw. It’s a liking for security.

Once you’ve been hemmed in and confined very long, but had your food and drink on time and aren’t’ randomly terrorized every day, you equate confinement with security. You’d rather not be free, if it’s going to make you insecure. That type of culture, be it in the middle East where it’s enforced by religion, or in our inner cities where it’s enforced by culture, is hard as heck to break. Not one generation, not two.   You probably need three generations to get people to internalize that liberty doesn’t mean destruction.

In the desert, after all, the Israelites asked Moses why he’d brought them from the fleshpots of Egypt, having forgotten back breaking labor and – hard to believe – the mass murder of male infants.

IOW like Gaia in the legend, who had been captive for years, and had had status and security with her captor, this new thing, and being stolen back even if (technically, probably) to greater freedom was very scary. What if her husband didn’t really forgive her? What if he found she’d enthusiastically cooperated with her captor? That she had children by him?

One of the things of any captive people is that everyone is tainted.

It amuses me when someone traces someone in a country like Russia or China and discerns tenuous tendrils to the old hierarchy. Well, duh. The effect of tyranny is to corrupt everything it touches and society at every level.

So when we free a country, a lot of the middle class are going to be thinking “what if they find out about—” That plus the penchant for security means it’s not only a long time till liberty takes hold, it’s a tough road for the holding power.

A lot of other powers became imperial in these circumstances, occupying and taking the fruits of the land to pay for their trouble.

Americans don’t do that. They are terrible imperialists. All they want to do is go home.

This means, ultimately, that it’s a costly endeavor for someone’s benefit, as the someone is kicking and screaming and telling you they don’t want it.

The Gaia solution (which sounds like a science fiction title, doesn’t it?) is very tempting then. It also, of course, renders everything else pointless.

If one rides upon a horse swifter than moonlight (and what the heck is up with that. Since when is moonlight swift?) to rescue a people, be it abroad or in our inner cities, it is reckless stupidity not to have the fortitude of our convictions, and the certainty in our own culture, enough to then set up the conditions for them to be free and showing them freedom is exhilarating, not scary.

Otherwise, perhaps it would be best if we don’t start.

The choice might not be ours, of course. In our rapidly shrinking world isolationism is attractive and probably impossible. (Even the founding fathers had to deal with the Barbary pirates.)

But if we have to go in, then we should stay and make sure that Gaia is brought to understand what is captivity and what is freedom.

Otherwise, it will be all to do all over again.

 

 

Minds Tightly Shut — Patrick Richardson

Minds Tightly Shut — Patrick Richardson

Our friend Darkside Dave has branched out from peeing matches with his family and started one with some of his liberal friends.

See he dared to question liberal orthodoxy, namely he mentioned to them that perhaps the way out of this economic mess we’re in is to *gasp* cut spending.

Well you would have thought the world had come to an end. He was accused of everything from homophobia to wanting children and old people to die in the cold while eating cat food to miscegenation with rabid hamsters.

Dave was a bit shocked by this because he’d always believed to be liberal was to be open minded.

Well, that’s actually sorta true — provided you’re talking about classic liberalism like that of our Founders.

See the Founders were true radicals of their day. Children of the enlightenment, influenced by the likes of John Locke, they had come to believe that out-sized government power was the biggest threat to liberty and prosperity humans could face.

Mostly Christian men, they were also mostly descendants of people who’d come to these shores to escape religious persecution, so they set about to create a state in which people could worship, or not, however they pleased. Growing up as British Subjects, these men knew full well the dangers of censorship and of summary arrest, so they created a nation in which the press and the people were free to speak their minds, and where the government had to show cause why they should be allowed to arrest or search anyone. (Parenthetically, the idea of an unbiased press hadn’t even occurred to anybody at this point, every newspaper had its voice, and pursued its own political ends, a situation to which, for better or worse, we seem to be returning.)

They believed everyone should have a right to live however they want and believe whatever they want, so long as it harmed no one else — and regardless of whether they or anyone else agreed with that life style or belief.

Now, liberals and conservatives both have a little trouble with that last one, but in the end the most egregious violators of that principle are on the left. There are exceptions, but for the most part conservatives could really care less who you sleep with as long as you keep it in the bedroom where it belongs.

Contrast those classic liberals with the modern version. If you suggest that perhaps homosexual marriage is not such a hot idea and that it tends to carry with it some rather thorny problems when it’s imposed on religious institutions over their objections you’re called a homophobe.

If you have the temerity to try to have an open an honest discourse on race, you’re called a racist, even if you’re black and discussing African-Americans (I really hate that term, but that’s for another time), just ask Juan Williams.

If you’re crazy enough to suggest maybe taxing rich people who create jobs in order to give their money to poor people who don’t create anything, you’re called heartless and told you want the children to die.

If you’re like me, and your alter-ego is a member of the MSM during the day, (I’m just a caped conservative crusader in the evenings,) you can lose your job or find it impossible to get one if your political beliefs become known.

Conservatives get called every name in the book, racists, homophobes, pedophiles — you name it. We have our lives, our livelihoods and our families denigrated, threatened and destroyed — just ask Sarah Palin. We’re told we’re not only stupid, but evil. We are accused of being parochial, hypocritical, narrow-minded rednecks for the sin of — believing something different than what we’re told to think.

Withal, we mostly shrug, tell liberals “Well you’re entitled to what you believe, I think you’re wrong, in fact I think you’re stupid, but you’re entitled to what you believe.”

Often enough we then ask our liberal friend if he wants to go have a beer after work. Now tell me, which one of us is narrow minded?