
This is a very funny post for me personally to write. For the record, I’m in beyond complete sympathy with the meme that says “I don’t want to adult today. I don’t even want to human. Today I want to cat” with a picture of a sleeping cat.
Probably this is because my main feeling right now is of being exhausted. Physically, emotionally, morally. It doesn’t matter, mind you, because the burden is right there, and what are these shoulders for if not to bear it. It has to be done, so it’s done.
But it doesn’t mean I’m fully grown up. I’m not. Maybe none of us ever is.
I was thinking about it today, and I realized several things. First, you don’t get in the kind of trouble we’re in without there being serious issues downstream in society.
Look, Marxism is malware for the human mind/spirit. It takes everything that works and breaks it, and tries to install programs that not only don’t work, but lead to mass death/starvation and even more massive unhappiness. It’s so perfect for that, that one is tempted to think it’s supernatural. And maybe it is, for all I know. But it doesn’t need to be, as it — like all good malware — clicks seamlessly with the pre-installed system.
All of us are prone to wanting everyone in the group to love us. We’re social apes. All of us are prone to think that if only so and so “shared” we’d be much better off, and it would be perfect. All of us are prone to glorifying envy, when it’s our envy. All of us, or at least the male half, think that sexual partners should be available for everyone on a need basis, and that denying sex means something is wrong. All of us wish there were no consequences for our pleasures. All that Marxism offers.
But it offers it by breaking causality. By making action not relevant to reaction. Which means it breaks reality. Reality cannot reset or teach us, when our brains don’t ‘get’ the connection.
For a century or so, now, all our institutions of communication and learning have been attempting to install Marxist malware in all of us. They succeeded better in Europe than here, partly because the American ethos is to be temporarily embarrassed millionaires. There is still more opportunity and mobility here than anywhere else in the world, which is not to say we’re not in deep trouble, we are. But that’s something else.
The problem is that the part of the software that took in America is hooked on our ethos of “every man a king” which is the “I do what I want, and don’t need to conform.”
This is good, to an extent. It’s what attracted this very Odd foreign-born girl to the US.
But it is also bad, when it hooks up to the narrative of the miracles of science TM, immortality just around the corner. Immortality, like backyard fusion is one of those advances that are always 50 years away. And probably will always be, to be honest, though perhaps I’m wrong.
Look, enormous advances have been made on the treatment of aging. Not of mortality as such, but of aging. As a rule, older people now are more vigorous and in better shape than they were 20 years ago. I remember when 80 was practically dead, and now we have vigorous, capable, still working 80 year olds. I remember when 100th birthday got all sorts of notice, and now its semi-mundane.
I suspect most of that fight was won through anti-biotics, because constant infection weakens the body over time. At least that’s what increases longevity in our pets. The fact we treat them when sick even for minor illnesses.
And this is great. I won’t say I don’t want immortality (of a non mystic kind. That I expect to have. Or at least hope.) I mean, it sounds tedious, but then I haven’t tried it, much less in an immortal society so how would I know? It’s kind of like imagining heaven. It’s one step too far. I can’t picture a constant state of bliss. And to an extent we can’t picture immortality.
I’d be okay with another 40 or 50 years, provided my kids got comparable life spans. (All the people who live very long tend to lose their kids, and that I don’t want.) And if I was well enough to work for most of that time. I mean, I’m willing to take a year or two of frailty and illness. if we’re talking about what we want.
But the truth is what we want is not what we get. And even what I want is highly unlikely to come true. At 60 I stand at the edge of the time where, like in a Russian novel “And then things get worse.” There are aches and pains climbing stairs. Nights where there’s no comfortable position. I have to use a machine to breathe at night. My weight is not entirely under my control (or even vaguely. LOL. Yes, I probably should find a good endocrinologist, but that’s easier said than done.) And things don’t work that should.
And here’s the problem: the entire society, for just on fifty years has been hell bent on denying this.
The “You can do what you want and have no consequences” melded, seamlessly into “forever young.” That’s the song our entire culture sings.
One of you pointed out that most sitcoms, most movies, most stories are aimed at “forever college students.” Our society in general, with lack of support/mutual aid (voluntary)/demand for no ties is based on the idea you’ll be young forever.
I was watching a movie the other day where the character has an abortion so she can dedicate herself to her career, and from my mouth unbidden came the words “Of course. Because you’ll be forever young.”
Not that having kids helps, in a society where ‘break the tie and do your own thing’ is the norm. (Guilty as charged. Though there were other reasons.) But– BUT — the underlying message of the culture is that you’ll be forever young, forever able to take care of yourself, that your capabilities only increase till your drop in your traces.
And choices/lifestyles are adjusted to that.
I’m not saying everyone lives like that. Obviously not. A lot of people are now forming associations of the aged, trying to look after each other. And there’s a lot of you supporting/caring for aged parents. However, that’s not the message in the culture. In fact woke has taken that to 500 with the Disney princess goal now being not even to get married but to “be a great leader” (the last two or three I have seen.) Even rom coms are now ending with the girl leaving to have her great destiny.
Most of us, let me assure you, don’t have a great destiny or a magnificent career. Most of us don’t become great leaders. Yes, sure, it is a thing to aspire to, when you’re young, but not to push on everyone as a universal goal, which everyone should achieve. Because life doesn’t work that way.
Yeah, not all of us marry or have kids, and if we do we won’t have perfect marriages or kids. But the goal of a “good enough marriage and kids” is achievable to the majority. The goal of “World shattering success in business politics or the arts” just ISN’T, let alone the goal of “world changing leader.”
And when things start failing/not working/the physical extracts its due — as it always does, no matter how long you cheat it — having had kids, having something after is much more satisfying than the told watch and the handshake.
Yes, some kids turn out rotten. Some families are toxic. But I think you’ll find movies/tv/books exaggerate the incidence of that. Most of us have a decent care for those who birthed us/raised us. And most parents care for their kids, however imperfectly they express it. And even with the stretchy bonds of the times, it’s better than nothing. It’s the natural aid and comfort society.
But it’s not just about having kids. How many people put off learning something they always wanted to learn, writing something they always wanted to write, doing something they always wanted to do? Because there is always time. And then you hit sixties, and things aren’t perfect, but they’re good enough, and there’s always time. And then one day there isn’t time, and you never saw it coming.
The problem of course was the ideal of youth culture, which came from the elephant of boomerdom passing through the snake. Combined with, yes, longer, healthy lives.
But the way it’s in the culture it’s the “I dictate my own reality” that seems to be part of Marxism.
You don’t dictate your own reality. I’m here to tell you that you live not only in a slice of space, but a slice of time. And that one day you and everything you know and are will pass. You’re given so long. No more.
Worse, I’m telling you that no matter how long we can prolong youth and relative vigor, at some point “Things get worse.” And you need to make provision for that: Mental, physical, monetary, community.
And most of us — note what I’m saying US. I’m not preaching from a mountain top. I’m here, with you — haven’t. Maybe we’ve made SOME, but most of us haven’t internalized that unless we’re very, very lucky — I want to go like great grandma who dropped while doing her work. Dead before she hit the ground. Blessed, really — there will be a prolonged period of “things get worse”. Of being unable to. Of things that exceed our energy. Of aches and pains. Of days when you don’t have the spoons.
Because we’re human. And no one has found the fountain of youth. (And if they had, we’d just postpone things till we died by misadventure with everything undone.)
We haven’t dispensed with the common lot of human kind. We just lied to ourselves and told ourselves we had.
In reclaiming the culture, it is important to make adult — foresightful, capable, competent, willing to work even for long term goals — an ideal again.
Being a college student is fun, I suppose. My college years — or my kids, for that matter — weren’t typical. But living like you’re one until you die is not possible. You will get old. You’ll have to make concessions. And it will be easier if the approximately final third of your life is planned for. If you’re ready.
Getting old isn’t for sissies. Nor is it for people in denial. It’s important to stop the denial, and to orient our lives to being an adult as long as we can be, so that our old age can be less painful and more productive.
And now I’m going to get off the computer and spend ten minutes wishing I could be my cat, sleeping in the sun. And then I’m going to work on my chapters for subscribers, which have been put off by very weird stuff this week. I now owe four each novel, to catch up. Ah, well. It’s doable today and tomorrow. So, I go.
Because metaphorically the light is failing and night comes soon. And I’d best be ready.























