
The Antidote for the End of the World as We Know It
By Cedar Sanderson
Without hope, the human race perishes.
The first time I wrote that, I followed it with a bit of mental shorthand and got a raised eyebrow, which made me realize what I’d done. So it’s not ‘Without hope, the human race ceases to exist, because who has children without hope?’ as that’s an easy fallacy. Bad Cedar, no cookie.
It’s all too easy to have a child without hope. Although I suppose you could argue that even the very act of procreation is itself a statement of hope, if no more than hope of fleeting pleasure. And in the United States it is far too easy to eliminate a child if you despair. However, the eyebrow made me backtrack to unpack what I was thinking.
Without hope, you cannot raise a decent human being. Without hope, the child is feral, almost animal, and the human race cannot exist if we all devolve into animals. Which is not to say that I think this is our ultimate fate as humans, at all. Like our kind hostess, I am a peddler of hope.
We must have hope, or why live at all, much less bring the next generation into the world? We already see the product of despair and nihilism in the coming population collapse. Too many people have internalized the hopelessness they were taught, and choose not to have children. There is hope, but you can’t force it onto someone. It’s not as easy as walking into a dark room and opening the curtains wide to let the sunshine in. They have to draw the blinds of their own souls up and see what the world holds for them, with flowers and rain and all the wonders of the universe. Limitless hope, if only they will open their eyes and see it in front of them.
I, personally, am hopeful for the next generation. Not only because I am a mother, but because I know mothers who are expecting, and at least two of those are lovely young women who joyfully lean into motherhood. With two such, and their supportive husbands at their sides, gazing starry-eyed into the future? Humanity has a chance. I shall do my small supports where I can, with a little gift for babies, but more, if I’m close enough, the tangible supports of a meal, an offer to sit so the parents can get out to refresh their enthusiasm for one another. I’m past having children (and glad of it, four lovely humans are enough for me) but I can make sure the next generation is given hope enough that they can carry on past when I’m no longer around to talk about why hope is so essential.
This is something you can do, you know. On the internet, it’s much less of a tangible ‘here’s a casserole, and paper plates so you don’t have to wash up, and the casserole is in a disposable pan so you can just rest and not have any care while you fuel your body’ and more of an intangible but nonetheless important role of encouragement. You’re doing the right thing, young Mama, or you, new and terrified Papa. I know you feel like you’re doing it all wrong and where the heck are the adults, but I know you’re doing just what you need to do. You’re loving your children. You’re loving each other. The specifics? Not so important. Remotely, a support system to listen when you need a place to blow up, or cry, or ask very specific questions about life (why is the baby’s poo green?!) can help. In person, that’s even better. So here’s what I’ll challenge you with – because I know and love the comment section here – start making friends in real life, not just here on the ‘net.
Making friends is very hard. I know this. Oh, how I know this. Like most of you, I was an Odd and I was raised Oddly. A military brat, homeschooled, moving every few years (more often, at some times, as I had 19 addresses by the time I was 18) all over the North American continent, it’s a miracle I ever learned to make friends at all. In a way, I didn’t. I had to move a thousand miles two years ago so I would have IRL support. It was worth it, even if it took all our savings and dipped us into the red. I’m not saying that’s what you have to do – some of you cannot do that. What you have to do is to get out of your bubble. You might be scoffing that you live in an area where there’s no one else like you. Possible, but unlikely. Far more likely you live in an area where it’s a full-blown quest to find them. First thing? Let it be known in your ‘net groups that you want to plan a get-together. Find a location. No budget? Find a park. Set a time. And then… show up. You have hope, that others will come too. Don’t know what to do once you do show up? Well, you might try sitting and writing. Introverts, gather and ignore one another! Even so, there’s power in being in the same space.
It’s going to feel weird. That’s ok. You lovely weirdos, embrace the power of mutual strangeness. Remember – you’re on a quest and the treasure you seek is hope. Gaining friends along the way is the way to generate that hope. Mission: Mutual Support.
The next hardest thing? Do it again. Reach out, pull someone else into your little band of quirks and peculiarities. Play a game together at a table, and laugh. Have fun. The point of this is to find people who spark joy in you. If they don’t spark joy? Then don’t have them in your life, or if you must (blood family…) then keep them on the other side of sharp boundaries. Rediscover play, find people you can debate with, who sharpen your mind, steel on steel, even if it’s only with a raised eyebrow emoji.
Then, you’ll know you are contributing to the longevity of the human race, restoring a sense of wonder to the universe, and that… that’s fulfillment, right there. Be present with your friends, online and offline. Be an encouragement. That’s how to help someone open up their soul to hope again. Children are born hopeful, from the first breath they draw in, so disappointing they wail in protest. And yet, they take another and another, and then there is warmth and sweet milk and hope blooms. And in those children, there is the hope for humans, that we endure.




































































































