Where do you think all the loot from the sacking of Troy ended up? NYS runs on bribes. I should know, I lived there for 18 years., and paid taxes to them for 8.
That’s actually Erie, although a heck of a lot of it WAS built by Irish immigrants. Unfortunately, there was no canal around the purported time of the Odyssey, and the Mohawk River wouldn’t have been a viable means for sailing or rowing even a Viking longboat, much less a Greek galley, being full of rapids and rocks prior to damming and dredging the channels and putting in locks at the dams. It did work okay for the shallow drafts of the Iroquois canoes though.
I learned to drive on those snowy icy roads with visibility anywhere from zero to infinity.
Reminds me of the time my evil step witch sent me to pick up her son from the local ski area in her Dodge Duster. It had snowed that morning and the roads had a bit of hardpack on them still, and was lightly snowing again. I was about a mile from home and came over a rise well below the speed limit but still too fast for conditions.
Yep. Broke traction big time. Told step brother to hang on tight (both wearing seatbelts.) Car did a 360 with nose into the side bank, spun back onto the road pointed in the right direction and still doing about 5 to 10 mph. Step bro thought it was cool as heck. Me? I shook the rest of the way home at not much over that 10 mph. Only damage to the car was a small chunk of the plastic grill broke out that required a trip to the scrap yard to get a replacement.
3 lessons learned. Keep wearing the seatbelts. Slow the F down. And you could find enough good parts to build a car from nothing at those scrap yards (And my real brother did just that the year before he went to college. Frankenstein’s Convertible!)
FWIW, I found that FedEx has a way to beat the porch pirates. The motherlovin’ envelope disappeared in transit. Now I just have to figure out which LEO entity in California to notify so they can ignore it like FedEx does. “We’ll notify you when we have an update.” Yeah, right.
Unless porch pirating is caught on camera, most porch pirating is incorrect delivery to the wrong address. Doesn’t matter if it is to the wrong mailbox or wrong porch. I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten notice of delivery to the front porch only to have to go porch pirate off the delivery to the wrong porch.
Oh, wait. I know! Delivery was to “hide package” from street view.
I’ve had a few packages delivered to the wrong house. I get a delivery notice, go out and look, and no package. I go back and look again at the picture they sent. “Hey, that’s not my house!” Go back outside, match features from the picture to nearby houses. “Aha! Across the street and two doors down!” Sure enough, there’s a box with my name on it. I take it and go home. So far nobody has complained.
Sometimes the people to whom it is delivered actually bring it over. I’ve done that multiple times myself.
Only had one package where I had to call the delivery and have them fetch it. Non-standard delivery (i.e., not FedEx, UPS, or USPS) carrier and the address delivered to get packages through that carrier regularly. It was delivered with all their deliveries. And the neighbors brought the package in quickly. Since they have dogs, they probably wouldn’t have wondered at the contents.
I always double check whom it is addressed to. Not just the address (across the street does put the incorrect address sometimes).
Someone decades ago really like the flowering bush that my address has – there are a half-dozen around here. Street, place, circle, loop, etc. We’re always running mail and packages back and forth in the neighborhood.
I’ve only had one that completely disappeared (FedEx, the worst offenders for dropping things in the wrong place). The picture didn’t match anybody’s front porch, at least within the square mile around here. (Whoever stole it or just kept it was sadly disappointed – it was a specialist reading book for the course my wife is taking to satisfy the State.)
In my case, it was an envelope supposed to go from Flyover Falls to a city in the Sacramento Valley. FedEx Ground handled it. (Might have done better if it went by air. dunno.) It went to Troutdale, OR (wtf?), then 12 hours later it was in Sacramento. 4 in the morning, it left Sacramento, then disappeared. Was supposed to be delivered that day (Wednesday). Thursday, they said “we’ll have a new delivery date when we get to it”. Late Thursday, I did a trouble ticket, and that’s as far as I’ve gotten. The computer says yep, you did a ticket, but we’ll get to you when we have an update.
Yes, what’s in the envelope is valuable, but with a certain amount of hassle, it can be replaced. Unless a miracle occurs, that’ll happen Monday.
So, not a porch pirate. Either weaponized incompetence, or somebody stole a bag-o-packages when loading the truck. The automated troubleshooter (and the call center person with a curious accent) are remarkably good at not answering pointed questions. Like “When can I expect an update?” and “How late does a package have to be before it’s considered lost?” (Again, dealing with stuff that FedEx claims they still have.)
Not that I trust Priority Mail anymore, but FedEx seems to be acting a lot like the early Amazon delivery people. Long term, we’ll have e-delivery of all this.
The few things I’ve had this happen with, I reported it to the source as “not delivered/lost”. More often than not, the source (usually Amazon) self-reported and auto resent or refunded.
About the only things we’ve had to worry about critically, by mail, were original, subsequent passports and our CCL cards. Funny how mine and hubby’s were both supposed to be delivered on the same day and were not (mail delivery tattle through USPS online). The first time, notification was listed as mail being delivered, and it wasn’t. Funny that. Showed up the next mail delivery date. There have been a few since then. Normally it is not important. Very, very few important items come via USPS mail. That is on purpose.
We track financials in real time, so statements aren’t even critical unless real time can’t be reconciled. I’m going to catch the problem before statements are out.
FedEx misrouted a parcel, after telling me it would be delivered a day early. Their trouble ticket system locked up and, as far as I know, they still think it lost. I arranged for a replacement shipment, and six hours later the missing parcel was delivered. I squared things up with the shipper the next business day.
But FedEx still doesn’t know where in The System things went wrong. I ponder their trouble ticket mess and think “You’re going to need a bigger database.”
Yeah, I get the “your package is on the way and we’re actively working to get you a new delivery date”. Considering it had to go about 80 miles, my most optimistic guess is that it got in the wrong bag and is making its way to Key West. Yeah, the trouble ticket was useless.
I’ll go into town tomorrow, and before I take the needed measures, will contact the intended recipient. If it’s still a no-show, I’ll do the cancellation. We’re setting things up so we can do all this via e-transfer, so I don’t have to deal with this again. FedEx was supposed to be safer than USPS, but arggh.
Finally got information. A) the trouble ticket is still completely useless. B) Standard tracking showed it arrived Sunday evening. Unfortunately, instead of Chico, California, it’s Middletown, CT. Expected delivery date is 7/20. Only 14 days to get a package 300 miles. OTOH, it’s better than Key West or the driver’s pocket. On the gripping hand, I’m reluctant to leave that piece of paper floating around with value attached. Strip the value, and it’s just a piece of paper. (Unless it does get stolen, in which case the thief may experience interesting times.)
My estimate is that the letter will have 7000 miles on it if it makes it to Chico. This is my impressed face.
So much for competition to Priority Mail. I’m setting up an e-transfer so we don’t have to deal with this again. Look Ma! No fees!
I haven’t lost a package to porch pirates since I was making a dumpster trip and set out some household trash and a bag of cat litter scoopings in a used Amazon box, then went back inside to get the kitchen bag.
“Where the eff did the box go? WTF? Where did I put that trash?”
Later got a call from the landlord asking me why I ditched a box of cat crap and rubbish in the parking lot several buildings away. Told them my mystery package story. We howled with laughter. From what we could piece together from the finder, apparently the poor shmuck opened it in their vehicle, then tossed it out and tried to eject the scattered litter-bits.
Ew.
I do know someone who rigged up a LURD and left it out for the breezeway bandits. A LURD is a device whereby you fill a largish baggie with “liquid”, then box it such that subsequent opening rips open the bag. it is a Long-range .(something) Release Device. Water is amusing. Stale beer is funny. Tempra paint is juvenile. Stale -used- beer, preferably aged a while, is barracks humor at its best.
There is someone who rigs boxes for porch bandits. Cheap recording device, tractable, loud abnouxious sound, horrible smells, glitter bombs, the works. Recruits volunteer porches. Waits. Then posts the results, without blurring faces or locations. Delighted to prosecute for theft (or file complaints in some jurisdictions) anyone who complains about the posting without blurring. Even provides instructions for others. Despite this being a known thing porch pirates get caught during the year and specially at the high shipping seasons (Christmas, etc.).
Delighted to prosecute for theft (or file complaints in some jurisdictions) anyone who complains about the posting without blurring. Even provides instructions for others.
I’ve seen those…. and I’m amazed he hasn’t been sued into oblivion and/or prosecuted by now, along with his “clients”. Every jurisdiction I’ve had to research it in (usually as part of “self-defense law”, IANAL) (TX, AL, AR, and GA) has specific laws forbidding “setting traps” for human crooks/trespassers. I know my self-defense insurance policy does.
These are not dangerous traps, just messy ones. He isn’t prosecuting them unless they, uh, self-identify by filing first. In fact, no complaints yet (mentioned at least).
You must know a better class of shyster than I do. 🤔
Because the ones I know would be happy to sue over paint / glitter sprayed in eyes “resulting in blindness / vision impairment”, firework detonations the same, disproportionate damage to vehicles, etc.
“Lawsuit Lotto” is a phrase for a reason. Why do you think store clerks are told not to do anything about thieves?
I can’t picture how a Pomeranian pulls the grenade pin AND keeps the handle depressed. On top of that, the Pomeranians can’t throw very far with their little stubby legs. I think your Pomeranian Grenadiers quickly devolve into suicide squads barking frantically as small dogs do. Little puffs of fluff disappearing across the battlefield. Oh the Humanity!
I totally agree with Rorshach in his meme. My Wierd-stuff-o-meter went off scale sometime in the mid to late 2000’s, I’d take a return to the late ’90s early 2000’s levels of creepy if possible.
What the hell did that poor teddy bear do or know that the little girl is waterboarding it?
Want to know what’s even safer than hunting? Going to a gun show. There has never, ever been a shooting at a gun show.
How do I know? Because if there had ever been a shooting at a gun show any time in the last 200 years, the presstitutes would still be yammering about it nonstop. Nobody would be able to watch TV, read a magazine or wander the uncharted wilds of the internet without having it shoved in their faces every 5 minutes. So, no, there has never been a shooting at a gun show.
As a retired firearms dealer I can sadly say that there have been a few cases of people getting shot at a gun show. I’ve been present for @ 5 of them during 20+ years of doing the shows. Accidental (negligent) discharges though, not deliberate street type shootings. Briefly made the news then dropped as it didn’t really fit the narrative of people shooting other people on purpose with “evil” guns. Accidents just aren’t as good anti-gun propaganda as the lefties would like it to be
I was personally present at one show where the Sheriff’s Deputy checking weapons at the door managed to AD a -cased- shotgun into the adjacent cinderblock wall between several bystanders. No injurious, but several folks needed a change of underwear.
In most of those cases, didn’t the idiots just shoot themselves? Because if you’re doing something stupid with a gun, the closest, biggest target is you.
And yes, all negligent discharges are caused by somebody doing something stupid with a gun.
I saw a video clip of the head persecutor in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. Picked up the AR-15 from the evidence table, did not check if it was loaded, pointed it at the jury, and put a finger on the trigger. What an ass-clown!
If I had been on that jury I would have got up and moved out of the line of fire. When the judge yelled at me I would say, “I don’t like it when an idiot points a gun at me.”
Of the five cases I was present where someone was injured (there were more where, thankfully, no one was hurt) 4 resulted in someone else, other than the gun owner, getting hurt. I could give more detail but in most of them the gun was either not inspected before being put on the table or was under the table and the fool brought it out to show someone who then fired it. One case the idiot who had it loaded under the table shot himself in the hand instead of someone else. There is nothing quieter than a gunshow when a gun has just gone off inside it.
One does not hear of “gun rage” at gun ranges either. Note how I worded that. I am sure improper gun handling at gun ranges happen. Accidental discharges. Following range protocol, no one should get shot. Do I think it hasn’t happened regardless of the new reporting it or not? Please. Not that naive.
You’d think with all those dangerous guns around that the guns would go on a spree. Right? (JIC #sarcasm).
JFK was killed before he could splinter it. Some would say the declaration led to the killing. And rest assured that LBJ did nothing to reduce its power.
Coffee “generations”: I was going to complain about Gen X being missing, but really, us just doing our own thing and letting the Boomers and Millennials and Zs bicker is about as Gen X as it gets.
Nickle: I’ve been thinking it would be cool to go back to the buffalo nickle. This is perfect.
Job Like Family: What you really want in an organization is the way that Agatha Christie described the renters in the Old Hall: polite to each other without really having a lot in common beyond the job, which prevents any strong feelings one way or the other.
On the washing machine: my husband spent a lot of time shopping around to find us a gas stove where the only electronic parts are the igniters. The thing has no internet connectivity, it’s not a wifi hot spot, it doesn’t even have a clock on it. It makes fire, and does nothing else. It’s amazing!
***
On a serious note, the Raconteur Meme with the Dave Freer quote needs to be redone, because the picture is beautiful, the sentiment is true, but the black text on the dark green background is almost unreadable.
Coffee generations: Gen X lets everyone else wrangle while we steal their coffee.
Klingon or Romulan, indeed….
I’d allow that paladin. Because.
*Snickers at the nickel.*
Professors not retiring – word.
Agreed on the “family” workplace. Augh.
Vimes is a smart guy.
Isekai is in because GRRM hasn’t wrecked it yet…. I’m trying to write more fantasy!
Ooo. That is a dream job – it allows lots of writing!
Physical appliances aye. In the long run they’re cheaper!
…That is a wonderful pun with caution tape.
*Nod* Logistics. Ran across something that said a lot of wars end up with guys going on about HONOR getting smashed flat by shopkeepers and clerks who’d rather be anywhere else.
Hmmm… So, on those peoples and nations of origin, I’m going to say Ing must be an Inglish fellow from Ingland. But wait… Inglandic? This is harder than I thought. (that’s what she said!) :D
That Sam Jackson meme, I have been that man. A certain cell phone company briefly had the bug where Eeeeeenglish was never understood by the bots. But Samuel L Jackson, however, was.
Substitutes for a healthy diet: you know, if you read that list right to left, it sounds pretty damned good now doesn’t it?
That morning when you wake up and spring out of bed, filled with energy? Only happens when the power went out and the alarm clock didn’t go off and now you’re late as all fudge but intend to get there at the very instantest moment possible by math, not law, road civility, or common sense.
Five Guys is beating up climate activists? They’re not just the best fast food burger joint any more, they’ve improved.
Why aren’t we conquering Europe? We did that already. We gave it back because we’re nice guys like that. Even fixed up the place a bunch. Stood up to bullies on their behalf. And now you want us to do it again? Lady, are you effin’ nuts?
Regarding “I don’t want more evidence,”: What I want is rather on the wrong side of the 80/20 and most people know it. What I’ll settle for and be grumpily almost satisfied with is perp walks and arrests and looooong jail sentences because hanging traitors and corrupt officials is not something the public has much stomach for anymore- and if that fact changes, we will have bigger problems, I know. What I am convinced we’ll actually get is another, sadder story entirely. But I hope and pray that I am wrong about that last point.
My tinnitus is killing me these last few days, so any sleep gotten is going to be a blessing. Gimme all those naps back that I sneaked off from in my toddler and kinder years!
Apropos of almost nothing, I live about 30 miles from the spot where the real Sam McGee was buried. (Robert W. Service narrowly missed attending the funeral because of a snafu with the trains.)
Apparently old Sam never did live down having his name used in one of the most famous, or infamous, humorous poems of the century.
According To Hoyt 
Superb! I’ll be mining this vein all week! 😉
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This is in the top ten of best Saturday memes.
Too many to list but I have been waiting for the Fauci one at Taco Bell for weeks!
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Can’t enjoy the memes until I get my coffee. ☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
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General Pinochet, I wrote the solution to your problem a decade ago.
TTTO “The Ballad of the Green Berets”
“Pinochet inspires us all,
but he’s thinking way too small!
US has a faster way,
Shove them from a C5A!”
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I got up too early*. I saw the last line and thought “CSA? What does community supported agriculture have to do with … OOoooooohhhhh. NeeEEEEvermind.”
*So I could get best choice at the farmers’ market.
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When I first wrote it someone here(?) or on Instapundit pointed out that a C17 was bigger…. which is true, but it didn’t really scan to the tune.
I’m writing doggerel, not a logistics plan. Tuathal would understand. 🎸🎶🤠
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You’ll fit more commies in the C5. 135 tons of cargo capacity versus 82 tons for the C17.
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Doggerel sticks better than perfectionist pap, too.
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Troy to Ithica NY.
Oh, 10 years is about right. You ever tried rowing a Greek galley over dry land?
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Why did it take 20 years for Odysseus to get home?
Because they had to get New York to approve the canal first.
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THEY GOT STATE APPROVAL IN ONLY TWENTY YEARS!?!?!?!
I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!!!
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Pssst, little brother. I know you’re an atheist, but sometimes He does make miracles.
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Where do you think all the loot from the sacking of Troy ended up? NYS runs on bribes. I should know, I lived there for 18 years., and paid taxes to them for 8.
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“Acktually” Eire Canal to the north end of Lake Cayuga, then down Lake Cayuga to Ithica at the south end.
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That’s actually Erie, although a heck of a lot of it WAS built by Irish immigrants. Unfortunately, there was no canal around the purported time of the Odyssey, and the Mohawk River wouldn’t have been a viable means for sailing or rowing even a Viking longboat, much less a Greek galley, being full of rapids and rocks prior to damming and dredging the channels and putting in locks at the dams. It did work okay for the shallow drafts of the Iroquois canoes though.
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“Eire canal” [forehead slap] The typo-fairy strikes again.
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Hey! I thought it was a good pun though. ;-)
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Even if you’re taking the roads, have you ever tried to drive through upstate New York in the winter? Frankly 10 years is on the optimistic side.
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See above.
I learned to drive on those snowy icy roads with visibility anywhere from zero to infinity.
Reminds me of the time my evil step witch sent me to pick up her son from the local ski area in her Dodge Duster. It had snowed that morning and the roads had a bit of hardpack on them still, and was lightly snowing again. I was about a mile from home and came over a rise well below the speed limit but still too fast for conditions.
Yep. Broke traction big time. Told step brother to hang on tight (both wearing seatbelts.) Car did a 360 with nose into the side bank, spun back onto the road pointed in the right direction and still doing about 5 to 10 mph. Step bro thought it was cool as heck. Me? I shook the rest of the way home at not much over that 10 mph. Only damage to the car was a small chunk of the plastic grill broke out that required a trip to the scrap yard to get a replacement.
3 lessons learned. Keep wearing the seatbelts. Slow the F down. And you could find enough good parts to build a car from nothing at those scrap yards (And my real brother did just that the year before he went to college. Frankenstein’s Convertible!)
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The one good thing about the first one is that nobody can understand my bad words before coffee.
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Laughed at the paparazzi meme. Can’t object to the climate activist beatdown.
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FWIW, I found that FedEx has a way to beat the porch pirates. The motherlovin’ envelope disappeared in transit. Now I just have to figure out which LEO entity in California to notify so they can ignore it like FedEx does. “We’ll notify you when we have an update.” Yeah, right.
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Unless porch pirating is caught on camera, most porch pirating is incorrect delivery to the wrong address. Doesn’t matter if it is to the wrong mailbox or wrong porch. I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten notice of delivery to the front porch only to have to go porch pirate off the delivery to the wrong porch.
Oh, wait. I know! Delivery was to “hide package” from street view.
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I’ve had a few packages delivered to the wrong house. I get a delivery notice, go out and look, and no package. I go back and look again at the picture they sent. “Hey, that’s not my house!” Go back outside, match features from the picture to nearby houses. “Aha! Across the street and two doors down!” Sure enough, there’s a box with my name on it. I take it and go home. So far nobody has complained.
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Sometimes the people to whom it is delivered actually bring it over. I’ve done that multiple times myself.
Only had one package where I had to call the delivery and have them fetch it. Non-standard delivery (i.e., not FedEx, UPS, or USPS) carrier and the address delivered to get packages through that carrier regularly. It was delivered with all their deliveries. And the neighbors brought the package in quickly. Since they have dogs, they probably wouldn’t have wondered at the contents.
I always double check whom it is addressed to. Not just the address (across the street does put the incorrect address sometimes).
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Someone decades ago really like the flowering bush that my address has – there are a half-dozen around here. Street, place, circle, loop, etc. We’re always running mail and packages back and forth in the neighborhood.
I’ve only had one that completely disappeared (FedEx, the worst offenders for dropping things in the wrong place). The picture didn’t match anybody’s front porch, at least within the square mile around here. (Whoever stole it or just kept it was sadly disappointed – it was a specialist reading book for the course my wife is taking to satisfy the State.)
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Because delivery photos are a thing, I have a very distinctive doormat. And it occurs to me just now to add my address on a small sign on the step.
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In my case, it was an envelope supposed to go from Flyover Falls to a city in the Sacramento Valley. FedEx Ground handled it. (Might have done better if it went by air. dunno.) It went to Troutdale, OR (wtf?), then 12 hours later it was in Sacramento. 4 in the morning, it left Sacramento, then disappeared. Was supposed to be delivered that day (Wednesday). Thursday, they said “we’ll have a new delivery date when we get to it”. Late Thursday, I did a trouble ticket, and that’s as far as I’ve gotten. The computer says yep, you did a ticket, but we’ll get to you when we have an update.
Yes, what’s in the envelope is valuable, but with a certain amount of hassle, it can be replaced. Unless a miracle occurs, that’ll happen Monday.
So, not a porch pirate. Either weaponized incompetence, or somebody stole a bag-o-packages when loading the truck. The automated troubleshooter (and the call center person with a curious accent) are remarkably good at not answering pointed questions. Like “When can I expect an update?” and “How late does a package have to be before it’s considered lost?” (Again, dealing with stuff that FedEx claims they still have.)
Not that I trust Priority Mail anymore, but FedEx seems to be acting a lot like the early Amazon delivery people. Long term, we’ll have e-delivery of all this.
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The few things I’ve had this happen with, I reported it to the source as “not delivered/lost”. More often than not, the source (usually Amazon) self-reported and auto resent or refunded.
About the only things we’ve had to worry about critically, by mail, were original, subsequent passports and our CCL cards. Funny how mine and hubby’s were both supposed to be delivered on the same day and were not (mail delivery tattle through USPS online). The first time, notification was listed as mail being delivered, and it wasn’t. Funny that. Showed up the next mail delivery date. There have been a few since then. Normally it is not important. Very, very few important items come via USPS mail. That is on purpose.
We track financials in real time, so statements aren’t even critical unless real time can’t be reconciled. I’m going to catch the problem before statements are out.
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FedEx misrouted a parcel, after telling me it would be delivered a day early. Their trouble ticket system locked up and, as far as I know, they still think it lost. I arranged for a replacement shipment, and six hours later the missing parcel was delivered. I squared things up with the shipper the next business day.
But FedEx still doesn’t know where in The System things went wrong. I ponder their trouble ticket mess and think “You’re going to need a bigger database.”
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Yeah, I get the “your package is on the way and we’re actively working to get you a new delivery date”. Considering it had to go about 80 miles, my most optimistic guess is that it got in the wrong bag and is making its way to Key West. Yeah, the trouble ticket was useless.
I’ll go into town tomorrow, and before I take the needed measures, will contact the intended recipient. If it’s still a no-show, I’ll do the cancellation. We’re setting things up so we can do all this via e-transfer, so I don’t have to deal with this again. FedEx was supposed to be safer than USPS, but arggh.
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Finally got information. A) the trouble ticket is still completely useless. B) Standard tracking showed it arrived Sunday evening. Unfortunately, instead of Chico, California, it’s Middletown, CT. Expected delivery date is 7/20. Only 14 days to get a package 300 miles. OTOH, it’s better than Key West or the driver’s pocket. On the gripping hand, I’m reluctant to leave that piece of paper floating around with value attached. Strip the value, and it’s just a piece of paper. (Unless it does get stolen, in which case the thief may experience interesting times.)
My estimate is that the letter will have 7000 miles on it if it makes it to Chico. This is my impressed face.
So much for competition to Priority Mail. I’m setting up an e-transfer so we don’t have to deal with this again. Look Ma! No fees!
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I haven’t lost a package to porch pirates since I was making a dumpster trip and set out some household trash and a bag of cat litter scoopings in a used Amazon box, then went back inside to get the kitchen bag.
“Where the eff did the box go? WTF? Where did I put that trash?”
Later got a call from the landlord asking me why I ditched a box of cat crap and rubbish in the parking lot several buildings away. Told them my mystery package story. We howled with laughter. From what we could piece together from the finder, apparently the poor shmuck opened it in their vehicle, then tossed it out and tried to eject the scattered litter-bits.
Ew.
I do know someone who rigged up a LURD and left it out for the breezeway bandits. A LURD is a device whereby you fill a largish baggie with “liquid”, then box it such that subsequent opening rips open the bag. it is a Long-range .(something) Release Device. Water is amusing. Stale beer is funny. Tempra paint is juvenile. Stale -used- beer, preferably aged a while, is barracks humor at its best.
The porch pirates lurd their lesson…..
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There is someone who rigs boxes for porch bandits. Cheap recording device, tractable, loud abnouxious sound, horrible smells, glitter bombs, the works. Recruits volunteer porches. Waits. Then posts the results, without blurring faces or locations. Delighted to prosecute for theft (or file complaints in some jurisdictions) anyone who complains about the posting without blurring. Even provides instructions for others. Despite this being a known thing porch pirates get caught during the year and specially at the high shipping seasons (Christmas, etc.).
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I’ve seen those…. and I’m amazed he hasn’t been sued into oblivion and/or prosecuted by now, along with his “clients”. Every jurisdiction I’ve had to research it in (usually as part of “self-defense law”, IANAL) (TX, AL, AR, and GA) has specific laws forbidding “setting traps” for human crooks/trespassers. I know my self-defense insurance policy does.
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Wags hands.
These are not dangerous traps, just messy ones. He isn’t prosecuting them unless they, uh, self-identify by filing first. In fact, no complaints yet (mentioned at least).
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You must know a better class of shyster than I do. 🤔
Because the ones I know would be happy to sue over paint / glitter sprayed in eyes “resulting in blindness / vision impairment”, firework detonations the same, disproportionate damage to vehicles, etc.
“Lawsuit Lotto” is a phrase for a reason. Why do you think store clerks are told not to do anything about thieves?
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Good point.
But like you said. He hasn’t been sued, so far.
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Which state is the big question. Some states prohibit damages when you’re committing a felony.
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The Reader appropriated all of the coffee memes while consuming his Nth cup of coffee with N<10.
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Well, Europe, one of your own put it best:”The Balkans are not worth the bones of a single Pomeranian grenadier.” We just extended it.
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Pomeranians with grenades seem a bit more hostile than I would have expected.
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I can’t picture how a Pomeranian pulls the grenade pin AND keeps the handle depressed. On top of that, the Pomeranians can’t throw very far with their little stubby legs. I think your Pomeranian Grenadiers quickly devolve into suicide squads barking frantically as small dogs do. Little puffs of fluff disappearing across the battlefield. Oh the Humanity!
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I have two comments
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“…all this can end, Teddy. Just tell me where you hid the cookies for this picnic of yours…”
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lol
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Oh look! Little Jennie has a great future in the CIA!
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Spawn of which author? (grin)
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Teddy Ruffkins (in a Scottish accent of course): “Do you expect me to talk?”
Ashley: “No, mister Ruffkins. I expect you to soak!”
Of course MisterRuffkins could just be going through SERE school.
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In the style of Goldfinger I think it would be “No Mr. Ruffkins, I expect you to drown.”
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“See Teddy, I told you not to perform reassignment surgery on my face and turn me into a mind flayer.”
I’ve spent enough time playing with image gen that her head needs a pass with inpainting…
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To #2: Probably stole her Girl Scout Cookies.
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The bear had it coming.
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“This is what the socialists do when you’re no longer any use to them, get used to it, Teddy” Little missy said.
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Bologna has a third name …
+1 on waterboarding the Teddy as remarkable (not necessarily appropriate, though kids do seem to mature earlier these days)
Nice group today! Well curated.
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SFBS!
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Upvoting: “[The United States] has a logistics organization that’s really good at fighting.”
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22 years in USAF Transportation Squadrons.
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As a Boomer, I object to the implication that I think that “addiction” to coffee was a bad thing…
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Want to know what’s even safer than hunting? Going to a gun show. There has never, ever been a shooting at a gun show.
How do I know? Because if there had ever been a shooting at a gun show any time in the last 200 years, the presstitutes would still be yammering about it nonstop. Nobody would be able to watch TV, read a magazine or wander the uncharted wilds of the internet without having it shoved in their faces every 5 minutes. So, no, there has never been a shooting at a gun show.
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Every other episode of every coo show would be a shooting at a gun show. I am surprised they don’t have that anyway
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As a retired firearms dealer I can sadly say that there have been a few cases of people getting shot at a gun show. I’ve been present for @ 5 of them during 20+ years of doing the shows. Accidental (negligent) discharges though, not deliberate street type shootings. Briefly made the news then dropped as it didn’t really fit the narrative of people shooting other people on purpose with “evil” guns. Accidents just aren’t as good anti-gun propaganda as the lefties would like it to be
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I was personally present at one show where the Sheriff’s Deputy checking weapons at the door managed to AD a -cased- shotgun into the adjacent cinderblock wall between several bystanders. No injurious, but several folks needed a change of underwear.
That was one of the louder gunshots I have heard.
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In most of those cases, didn’t the idiots just shoot themselves? Because if you’re doing something stupid with a gun, the closest, biggest target is you.
And yes, all negligent discharges are caused by somebody doing something stupid with a gun.
I saw a video clip of the head persecutor in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. Picked up the AR-15 from the evidence table, did not check if it was loaded, pointed it at the jury, and put a finger on the trigger. What an ass-clown!
If I had been on that jury I would have got up and moved out of the line of fire. When the judge yelled at me I would say, “I don’t like it when an idiot points a gun at me.”
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Of the five cases I was present where someone was injured (there were more where, thankfully, no one was hurt) 4 resulted in someone else, other than the gun owner, getting hurt. I could give more detail but in most of them the gun was either not inspected before being put on the table or was under the table and the fool brought it out to show someone who then fired it. One case the idiot who had it loaded under the table shot himself in the hand instead of someone else. There is nothing quieter than a gunshow when a gun has just gone off inside it.
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What? Not “Permission to beat the idiot with it?”
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One does not hear of “gun rage” at gun ranges either. Note how I worded that. I am sure improper gun handling at gun ranges happen. Accidental discharges. Following range protocol, no one should get shot. Do I think it hasn’t happened regardless of the new reporting it or not? Please. Not that naive.
You’d think with all those dangerous guns around that the guns would go on a spree. Right? (JIC #sarcasm).
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Go to Miami and talk up socialism and see how that works out.
Beautiful and hilarious.
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If you do, bring cell phones and post it. The world needs more comedy gold like that.
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I observe that the idea of splintering the CIA has resulted in metastasizing. I think JFK may have been hoping for downsizing.
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“splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and let them scatter on the wind”
Like dandelion seeds? 😧
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The CIA are worse than zombies. They multiple too rapidly to allow them to escape.
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JFK was killed before he could splinter it. Some would say the declaration led to the killing. And rest assured that LBJ did nothing to reduce its power.
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I sure am glad I killed him (LBJ) in Book 2. 🤪🤣
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Yes you did. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Thank you for the memes. If i had a coat of arms, the “favorite movie not good movie” would be the motto.
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Lots to comment on here:
Coffee “generations”: I was going to complain about Gen X being missing, but really, us just doing our own thing and letting the Boomers and Millennials and Zs bicker is about as Gen X as it gets.
Nickle: I’ve been thinking it would be cool to go back to the buffalo nickle. This is perfect.
Job Like Family: What you really want in an organization is the way that Agatha Christie described the renters in the Old Hall: polite to each other without really having a lot in common beyond the job, which prevents any strong feelings one way or the other.
On the washing machine: my husband spent a lot of time shopping around to find us a gas stove where the only electronic parts are the igniters. The thing has no internet connectivity, it’s not a wifi hot spot, it doesn’t even have a clock on it. It makes fire, and does nothing else. It’s amazing!
***
On a serious note, the Raconteur Meme with the Dave Freer quote needs to be redone, because the picture is beautiful, the sentiment is true, but the black text on the dark green background is almost unreadable.
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Re: 2027 nickel
They mixed up heads and tails.
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Coffee generations: Gen X lets everyone else wrangle while we steal their coffee.
Klingon or Romulan, indeed….
I’d allow that paladin. Because.
*Snickers at the nickel.*
Professors not retiring – word.
Agreed on the “family” workplace. Augh.
Vimes is a smart guy.
Isekai is in because GRRM hasn’t wrecked it yet…. I’m trying to write more fantasy!
Ooo. That is a dream job – it allows lots of writing!
Physical appliances aye. In the long run they’re cheaper!
…That is a wonderful pun with caution tape.
*Nod* Logistics. Ran across something that said a lot of wars end up with guys going on about HONOR getting smashed flat by shopkeepers and clerks who’d rather be anywhere else.
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THAT, IMHO, isn’t logistics.
https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poem/poems_marriedman.htm
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Gen Z: Why R U drinking scotch so early?
Gen X: Because we’ve seen this [censored] before, and we need it. Coffee’s the chaser.
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*Fistbump of agreement*
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Hmmm… So, on those peoples and nations of origin, I’m going to say Ing must be an Inglish fellow from Ingland. But wait… Inglandic? This is harder than I thought. (that’s what she said!)
:D
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Inglinosky.
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Really like the little girl waterboarding her teddy bear.
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C-17 is NOT bigger than C-5.
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And for song purposes I didn’t care.
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I too never expected the world to be this gay and retarded.
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There are lots of sisters and half-sisters and adopted sisters of Spock in fanfic, but nobody as psychotic as that Michael chick.
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To accompany the Jack Sparrow villiains
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HNfrAO2WIAAkPP_?format=jpg&name=small
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That Sam Jackson meme, I have been that man. A certain cell phone company briefly had the bug where Eeeeeenglish was never understood by the bots. But Samuel L Jackson, however, was.
Substitutes for a healthy diet: you know, if you read that list right to left, it sounds pretty damned good now doesn’t it?
That morning when you wake up and spring out of bed, filled with energy? Only happens when the power went out and the alarm clock didn’t go off and now you’re late as all fudge but intend to get there at the very instantest moment possible by math, not law, road civility, or common sense.
Five Guys is beating up climate activists? They’re not just the best fast food burger joint any more, they’ve improved.
Why aren’t we conquering Europe? We did that already. We gave it back because we’re nice guys like that. Even fixed up the place a bunch. Stood up to bullies on their behalf. And now you want us to do it again? Lady, are you effin’ nuts?
Regarding “I don’t want more evidence,”: What I want is rather on the wrong side of the 80/20 and most people know it. What I’ll settle for and be grumpily almost satisfied with is perp walks and arrests and looooong jail sentences because hanging traitors and corrupt officials is not something the public has much stomach for anymore- and if that fact changes, we will have bigger problems, I know. What I am convinced we’ll actually get is another, sadder story entirely. But I hope and pray that I am wrong about that last point.
My tinnitus is killing me these last few days, so any sleep gotten is going to be a blessing. Gimme all those naps back that I sneaked off from in my toddler and kinder years!
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“How’s the weather there?”
“Have you ever been cremated?”
… But the queerest they ever did see/Was that night on the marge/Of Lake LeBarge/I cremated Sam McGee.
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Apropos of almost nothing, I live about 30 miles from the spot where the real Sam McGee was buried. (Robert W. Service narrowly missed attending the funeral because of a snafu with the trains.)
Apparently old Sam never did live down having his name used in one of the most famous, or infamous, humorous poems of the century.
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This, by the way, is me – Tom Simon; for some reason I’ve been logged into a WP account that I didn’t even know I had. WP delenda est.
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It shows it as Tom Simon, yes. :D
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I donât know about Scotch for breakfast, but I have had my coffee with a splash of bourbon…
>
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Hey, Texas is big. It isn’t all Cremation, some of it is Steam Scalding
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So if the bear is moving to Texas, does that make it the Bare Flag Republic?
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I am so going to steal the floating synagog / Torah Torah Torah one, to abuse the next KKKLukker/NastZee/Proctocols doofus I encounter online.
“They are coming for you and your whole race and your little dog too!! JOOOOOOOZE! Crying ‘TORAH! TORAH! TORAH!’ as they attack! “
Oh I am so going to wind up on the news….. Worth it.
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