NOT TODAY!

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

Sorry guys. It’s been a very weird month of so, and today (9/18)I just ran dry on blogs. I really need to try to finish the book tomorrow!

A few tie-offs on the fundraiser: A few of you requested an answer, one of you by mail. I will try to get back to you when we get back from Portugal on October 15th.

By now we’ve deposited every check. If you haven’t got notice of that, we didn’t receive it. (Our post office can be flaky.)

If there’s something I promised and haven’t done, please let me know. Other than, you know, finish a bunch of books which I haven’t, because the book I need to finish tomorrow stole my brain. I’ll try to do another reading for substack tomorrow. (And that one will be posted for free.)

Right now I just need to go to bed and hopefully actually sleep.

Feel free to tell me about why we’d send a racoon to space…

127 thoughts on “NOT TODAY!”

  1. The Reader promises we’ll be here when you have time to entertain us. In the meantime, we also promise (sorta) not to wreck the place.

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    1. I’m not sure about the last, but we will repair any broken walls, and the coffee fountain is already blockaded as off limits. Now that the sparkling water feed is working correctly, it no longer needs work. Bubbly coffee! Whee!

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      1. Sits in corner contemplating Navel, attacks dust bunnies, loses, regroups, it has finally come to this, pulls out wet dry vacuum and sooper soaker filled with soapy water and bleach, Bwahahahahaha…
        If that doesn’t work we go for the kitchen sink C- 4.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. The Reader has noted this before – the only fiction he ever wrote was in technical proposals to DARPA. And to the best of his memory, all of them were classified.

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          1. In all seriousness, the Reader’s current project is developing a class on the history and technology of AI for the Life Long Learning Institute he belongs to. He teaches courses on the intersection of history and technology. https://llichesterfield.org/

            He is a consumer of fiction, not a producer. Remember markets need both.

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            2. Waves to fellow consumer.

              100% Give me a prompt and my mind takes a vacation. Reading OTOH is life!

              Reviews? I liked it! Is as good as it gets. Most don’t find that particularly helpful.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. It’s a review. The mere number of them affects algorithms and the impressions of buyers.

                And if you still can’t bring yourself to do it, at least rate them.

                Liked by 1 person

      2. Currently can’t legally write or work for outside parties. (Beyond a silly blogpost or two and some voluteer work for non-profits…)

        It’s a bummer since I can’t release software I do on my own time with my own resources to that isn’t even related to the companies interests. (I doubt they want ham radio utilities or receiver firmware written in Ada.)

        But the darn job pays more than the bills, it has allowed us to stock up and more for the “Crazy Years”. I’ll retire whenever war happens… :P

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Huh. I never thought of that. My brain keeps throwing up irritating objections about sending her books for the promo post…

        But I know myself well enough to know that if it will help someone else I can do it with a clear conscience!

        Yay!

        (Yes, my brain works that way)

        Liked by 2 people

    1. “That’s what sweet corn is for”
      I knew a farmer who kept all his field corn surrounded by one harvester’s width of sweet corn so the racoons were kept from his field corn. Come close to harvest, he’d have “You Pick” sales of sweet corn, and once time came for getting the corn for his dairy cows, he’d run those rows first, and it was fodder for right then, and the field corn was for over the winter.

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      1. I have to admit the idea of feeding corn to dairy cows seems odd to me.

        I’ve always been told that feeding them alfalfa makes the milk taste better.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Based on the limited experience of a one-week visit circa 1980 I can affirm your mother’s observation. In fact, all British dairy products sampled by Beloved Spouse and me were notably superior to American equivalents. In some cases, such as whipped cream, this was attributable to the absence of excessive sugar allowing the innate sweetness of the cream and its accompaniment to express themselves. In other instances it was simply better flavor for reasons not obvious (in the case of butter the Brits may have refrained from over-processing which afflicts many American foodstuffs.)

            Beloved Spouse who was the family Foodie could probably explain the multiple factors in play but, alas, Beloved Spouse is no longer speaking to me except in memory.

            Rgrds,

            RES

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          1. To be digested by cattle, corn kernels must first be either fermented in silage, or pressed between steam rollers.
            It’s a much more concentrated source of energy than alfalfa or grass.

            It was a mainstay of the feedlot diet for our cows, but we were raising them for beef, not milk.

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  3. “Sir… the Terrans have sent their Representative… and uh… er….”
    “Well, SAY IT already.”
    “If this is their low-level initial Representative…. we might have a Problem. Not a problem, a Problem.”

    ————

    “So if they pester us again, we send a wolverine?”

    “After that a Cape Buffalo or a Honey Badger.”

    “And what if they’re peaceful?”

    “You saw the decode… we’re still being NICE. Why, we haven’t gotten down to sending the lawyers yet.”

    Liked by 3 people

    3. The Reader wants to know if we send the lawyers before or after the creepy clowns? And when do we send the Karens?

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          1. “This sounds like a job for…. THE E-4 MAFIA!”

            🎶”Crash of Thunder, Flash of Lightning,

            Look at us, we’re so damn frightening!

            Bored E4s…. AAhhhhh, bored E4s.”🎶

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          1. Nope.

            Currently, the Aliens want to conquer Earth.

            After dealing with our Democrats, they’d want to Destroy Earth. 😈😈😈😈😈

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  5. Why send a racoon into space? To test its ability to open puzzle boxes in zero-G. Or to a rival’s space station, for the same reason you’d transport half a million tribbles into the Klingons’ engine room.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How did it smuggle in its own spacesuit? Complete with ear spaces in the helmet?

      And who manufactures a spacesuit for a raccoon, on the odd chance that one will hitch a ride into space? (Okay, maybe Elon in a whimsical mood, but beside him …)

      There are deeper plans in progress than we understand. Maybe deeper than we can understand.

      Liked by 2 people

      3. Yeah, making the helmet larger would be a far better solution than adding those ear-bubbles. Structurally stronger, much easier and cheaper to manufacture, less likely to bang into random bits of the spaceship.

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        1. Raccoons are too intelligent to go into space in a spaceship built by DEI factories and crewed according to DEI standards.

          They may be Trash Pandas but do have standards. 😉😉

          Liked by 1 person

  8. “Director, why is G*d’s Name did you send a raccoon on that last space flight!”

    “Senator, Rascal is a Familiar and we needed the skills of his Mage for a special mission.”

    “But he’s still a raccoon!”.

    “Rascal, in spite of his name, is very well-behaved and is smarter than some humans I could name.”

    [Borrowing Alma Boykin’s Familiars.]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Director, which of our astronauts is MAJ Rascal a Familiar for, exactly? Or is that on a Need to Know basis—along with everything else I need to know?”

      “Oh, no, Senator; it’s right there in the third paragraph. He serves with Col. Algernon Dewinter.”

      “So why do I not see ‘Algernon Dewinter’ named on this crew manifest, Director?”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “Senator, Algernon Dewinter is listed in Appendix G, as a member of the ground crew.”

        “Why isn’t he with his familiar on the ship crew then?”

        “Begging the pardon of the Senator from California, but it is a well-known fact that mages and familiars have an active telepathic communication ability that is not, repeat, not, limited to light speed. The mage remains in contact, and control, no matter where in the universe his familiar is.”

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      2. Because he is that rarest of mages, a mage who found a way to send his Familiar far, far away, thus giving the mage a few hours of peace, quite, and unopened cabinets. *wry kitty grin and wink*

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          1. “Director, why in G*d’s Name did you send a raccoon on that last space flight?”

            “Senator, Rascal is a Familiar and we needed the skills of his Mage for a special mission.”

            “But he’s still a raccoon!”.

            “Rascal, in spite of his name, is very well-behaved and is smarter than some humans I could name.”

            “Director, which of our astronauts is Major Rascal a Familiar for, exactly? Or is that on a Need to Know basis—along with everything else I need to know?”

            “Oh, no, Senator; it’s right there in the third paragraph. He serves with Col. Algernon Dewinter.”

            “So why do I not see ‘Algernon Dewinter’ named on this crew manifest, Director?”

            “Senator, Algernon Dewinter is listed in Appendix G, as a member of the ground crew.”

            “Why isn’t he with his familiar on the ship crew then?”

            “Begging the pardon of the Senator from California, but it is a well-known fact that mages and familiars have an active telepathic communication ability that is not, repeat, not, limited to light speed. The mage remains in contact, and control, no matter where in the universe his familiar is.”

            And because he is that rarest of mages, a mage who found a way to send his Familiar far, far away, thus giving the mage a few hours of peace, quite, and unopened cabinets.

            And while a pain to his mage, Rascal can be trusted to do the job without supervision…

              Ladies and gentlemen, did we just blurb another book for Miss Alma? How’d that happen?

              Liked by 1 person

              1. LOL

                Well, while there may be Raccoon Familiars in Alma’s Familiars universe, none of her stories there involve spaceflight.

                And so far, Mages and Familiars work as a team and while Mages can do “magic” without their Familiars, Familiars don’t do magic on their own.

                Oh, Mages and Familiars don’t have a “link” that allows them to communicate over long distances.

                Mind you, she may decide to have a Raccoon Familiar as a character in a future story and “Rascal” has been used as a name for “pet” Raccoons. (I remember reading a book with a pet Raccoon named Rascal.)

                So, I have no problems with her having a Raccoon Familiar named “Rascal”

                Liked by 1 person

      2. At one point mankind was concerned about contamination virgin worlds with our bacteria, diseases and insects.

        Then a female raccoon was found on a freighter bound for Rigelus 5, and the universe would never be the same.

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    3. So…

      Victoria 3 is a grand-strategy video game where you run a country during the Victorian era. And a player discovered a problem

      https://x.com/AkkadSecretary/status/1836777197475881208?t=WAZkIB1oL25RpDA-4dfRpA&s=19

      Player was running Finland, and apparently doing very well with high wealth and high employment. Player promoted multi-culturalism, and had a bunch of immigrants. But the immigrants didn’t want to work. Instead, they stayed at home and collected welfare benefits.

      Who would have guessed?

      😅😅

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I have a Rocket City Trash Panda baseball cap.

          I’m sure Huntsville/Madison would have named the team the Rocket City Raccoons if they hadn’t been afraid of the House of Mouse and their hot ‘n juicy legal team.

          The logo is a mean-looking trash panda in a rocket propelled trash can.

          Liked by 1 person

    5. My son said, “So he could see if cotton candy can be washed in space.” 😏

      I hope you get everything done that is required and manage to have an enjoyable trip.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. After the raccoons reached the Greys’ homeworld — humans had refitted several captured flying saucers for the purpose — abductions on Earth dropped nearly to zero.

        Today, courses on interstellar history mark that infamous incident as the moment when, despite their relatively low level of technology at the time, humans began their inexorable march toward becoming the most feared sapient species in the galaxy.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Explain to me how we’re both screaming introverts, married to introverts who view travel with the same lack of delight as hobbits, and yet I have at least 3 road trips I have to do in the next month, and you’re leaving the country?

          *hugs* to you and your Better Half!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I HATE flying. Hate. Did it last weekend, because I don’t want to do it late November.
            Am still off. And yeah, overseas.
            Might be for last time. UNLESS miracle occurs and I can afford first class next time.
            (Had bizarre flash of traveling with a grandchild in 20 years. GAH. Hope not.)

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            1. I LOVE flying. But if I’m not hands on the stick (or yoke), then that’s not flying, that’s being a pax in back, and that sucks.

              First class or no, not a fan.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. If I could afford to cross the Atlantic on a nice passenger ship, I would. Alas, I can’t, so airline it is. Lufthansa’s not bad, but it is still the back seat of the bird. Blarrrrrrgh.

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                1. cross the Atlantic on a nice passenger ship

                  Oh, my goodness! Save up and do it!

                  In 2018 we took QM2 *both ways* between New York and Southhampton, with three weeks in England, France and Ireland in between.

                  QM2 has its own planetarium, that uses the same software as the one at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich. Fascinating lecture series; best was eastbound on pirates, by a Rhode Island professor with pirate family ancestors.

                  Ship time shifts an hour most days at sea; we arrived with no jet lag, an enormous advantage.

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              2. Oh. Yeah. I meant flying as a passenger, and actually most of what I hate is being at the mercy of someone I don’t know. BUT also the sheer discomfort and being rushed through airports, and feeling grimy, and….

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                1. i hate flying, in a sausage that wont stay up there if the power cuts with a buncha strangers, breathing recycled air filtered through who knows what, getting hassled by petty tyrant turds at the airports, freakin hate it, hence why I stay put on my rock!

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    12. Possums in Space would be a better choice. Mars-upials!

      Not wasting all the potable water that Trash Bandits use to wash their paws. Plus possums have 4 hands and a tail to cling with.

      Bonus: Immune to rabies, space-snake venom and eat space-ticks.

      Liked by 1 person

        2. it’s a rumor. there are pictures, some are doctored others seem not to be.

          The word is that diddy took masses of video and that the FBI now has it. The Daily Mail is all over this. Nothing I’ve seen in the US press. Some of this video seems to be open in Hollywood. All in all he seems another Epstein and I can’t see him surviving long in a Brooklyn prison.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. So then Diddy gets Epstein and then we have a Diddy Epstein? Asking for a friend.

              Besides that, we are how many weeks from a Diddy List of Participants? We are how many weeks, and counting, waiting for Epstein’s list? Oh, yea: 5th of Never.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. I repeat.

                Will “Diddy Epstein?”

                There is a Instagram video talk discussing the “Diddy situation”. Every other comment was speculation of “when Diddy will do an Epstein?”

                ——————————

                Then there is this –

                Babylon Bee

                All the streets are brown
                And the teachers gay
                I went for a walk
                Got mugged along the way, yeah
                I’d be safe from harm
                If I moved from L.A
                California Fleein’
                I gotta get away

                Stopped into a woke church
                With rainbow flags displayed
                When I pulled out my KJV (with Hebrew and Greek)
                The pastor burst into flames (Pastor was aflame)
                I know Montana can be cold
                And Florida’s out of the way
                But still I’m California Fleein’
                Just gotta get away

                [Very bad saxophone solo]

                All the lights are down
                The power’s out for days
                Now I have to walk
                Can’t charge my Tesla today (Got no electrici-tay)
                The taxes are so high (They be takin’ all my money)
                And the traffic’s a pain (I’ve been on the 405 for half of the day)
                California Fleein’
                I gotta get away

                Then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApfBvkql0lI

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    15. “You bastards, do you know how much space junk is in orbit, if that little bandit gets away the whole of orbit will be full of trash pandas run wild, satellites will, fail, hell they’ll start raiding the trash for our space stations” Senator Vance yelled.

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      1. One glaring mistake in that article — it’s ultraviolet light that causes sunburn, not infrared. IR can cause eye damage, but the delayed skin burns are more consistent with UV. IR burns are immediately painful.

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    19. “<I>Feel free to tell me about why we’d send a racoon to space…</I>”

      1. Reuniting them with their home planet in hopes to convince them we’re <DEL>Friendly</DEL> Amiable.
      2. The Ginger Cats refused to go.
      3. We had no choice – it threatened to commit Unspeakable Acts.*
      4. That was the reward it demanded for saving us from a Return of the Elder Gods.

      *What kind of Unspeakable Acts? I cannot say.

      Rgrds,

      RES

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Earth was colonized by the other planets of the solar system.

        Ferrets and Rabbits are from the moon, etc.

        Anyway, the short version is that certain critters have some advantages when it comes to diplomacy, and intelligence gathering.

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