I enjoin you to pause by Holly Frost

Posted on by hollyfrostgoldportpress

I Enjoin You to Pause by Holly Frost

Okay, you all know how, when it gets to be winter (yes, I know, you and you don’t have winter, so pay double attention, it’ll be your own rear you save twice), you drive down the icy road, and you stop at a red light. The light turns green, and you pause, and you wait, just to see if the guy with the red who is half a block away can actually stop or if he’s going to come skidding and spinning through the intersection. You know how that is? And the guy behind you is some southern import (the only one in town, like as not) and is laying on his horn because your light is green and he doesn’t know any better? You know how you ignore that guy, and you pause, and you wait, and you see if it’s going to be safe?

You have got to pause. When the (political, cultural, whatever) light turns green, and the ignorant behind you is trying to push you by blaring his horn (media, internet), you have got to pause.

Make sure that eighteen wheeler coming down the cross street, or smart car, or whatever the heck it is (riot? protest? freight train?) is actually going to be able to stop. Let the juggernaut of inevitable disaster pass you by.

My driver’s ed instructor always said “The laws of physics trump the rules of the road.” It doesn’t matter how in the right you are if you get squashed.

So we’re sitting here at current events, looking at a green light, and the media is behind us laying on their horns. Don’t pull out until you’re sure. Don’t let yourself be rushed into something.

Take a deep breath. Look both ways. Look again.

This next year, as we approach the elections, with wars and rumors of wars, plagues and rumors of plagues, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, and whatever else comes our way, I enjoin you, pause. Wait until you know that you aren’t going to get squished when you move forward.

136 thoughts on “I enjoin you to pause by Holly Frost”

      1. Always best to arrive well after, if at all possible, unless you are the first responders. Newer stuff now has money eaters in minor dings. Knew a father son with a body shop in Louisiana. two identical prangs (actually hit each other), one a Chevy S10, the other a Mazda. The S10 needed a fender, bumper, frame brackets and paint. The Mazda (Milenia or 929) needed a bumper cover, the inner bits, a fender and paint, for just a few dollars more, BUT, it also needed new airbags, windshield, dash, side glass on the drivers side (bag blew driver’s hand and ring into the glass, shattering it) so in the ned cost multiples of the Chevy.

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        1. Used to drive a Saturn SL-1. The rear bumper on that thing was impressive. Got nailed from behind in traffic. Adjacent lane started moving and woman behind me gunned hers. BAM! Drove me forward about 3/4 of a car length.No injuries. Slight scuffs on my black plastic bumper. Her front end was crushed.

          Had my mechanic pull the bumper cover to inspect. the underlying honeycomb was OK. No measurable deformity.

          Survived two more such hits. Scuffs only. Was impressive.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Girl across the street from me in Kenner, La. had an early Saturn SC, and also took a hit to the back. twas parked though, and just scuffed the paint a bit. Her older sis also ended up buying a Saturn, the SL. Roger Penske tried to purchase Saturn and the TN factory when the Feds were ru(i)nning GM and they turned him down. Would have been a bad look for him to make it successful and keep all those people working, don’tchaknow. Especially if he improved on the things.

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            1. Saturn was pitched as a “Japan Killer”, but they wound up outcompeting Chevvy, also not under normal UAW “agreements”, which combined was why they were destroyed.

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        2. Even newer vehicles a bumper, front or back, likely require new sensors, cameras, and calibration.

          Replacing a windshield requires calibration. No coming out to the house for windshield to be replaced. Must go into the shop (whether it is dealership or Safelite). We’ve been really unlucky with windshields over the last few years (3 on two different vehicles). Not vanity replacements cracks that ran the windshields.

          All adds up very quickly.

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          2. a new tail light is now pushing $2,000 because they are LED, and CanBus Somebody here at work was talking about needing a new bumper and sensors from a deer strike iirc.

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    2. }}} “All ABS does is ensure you arrive at the accident head on instead of sideways”
      }}} – David E. Davis –

      No, not really, depends on the exact circumstance. If a skid is possible, it can sometimes reduce the amount of skid and so stop you from hitting something. Not always, but it does happen.

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      1. Mine is one that will just not stop you, even though it claims to be 4 channel, if one tire slips, none are stopping. found that out hitting a political sign laying in the road (Chet Edwards, so it was lying in the road, too). Luckily there was no cross traffic. Works best in 4×4 on ice. the other wheels and lock between front and rear make for shorter stops than the same conditions in 2 wheel drive.
        Watching street stock race cars that have ABS is fun when the ABS dies. The drivers get used to just stomping on the brakes with no finesses and relying on the ABS to sort things out, then suddenly, all wheels lock and Wheee.

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  2. There is s big difference from being right, to being dead right. It doesn’t matter if you were right, if you’re dead. That gets back to being prepared. Take what precautions you can to protect your self ahead of time.

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    1. The difference is whether you choose to be right and accept the death as the possible price.
      Military members do it all the time. Cops and firefighters get a little bit of consideration, but follow rules of engagement similar to, but defined by their circumstances.

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      1. I was trying to allude to discretion being the better part of valor, it doesn’t matter if you were right if you are dead, and those officers take cover when it is there, as do troops. One unofficial motto for the military is Patton’s own words. “Don’t die for your country, make the other poor bastard die for his”.

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        1. Considering that after 22 years I’m still alive, and a lot of bad people aren’t, I think I succeeded there. Of course, the next 22 years may get a bit dicey as I’m not a young man anymore. On the other hand, curmudgeons live forever, don’t they?

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Hubby is a very accomplished winter driver. He turns ABS off as soon as he sees ice.

    He calls it a menace.

    Once again, government making sure they mandate something of questionable value for everyone whether it is helpful for everyone or not.

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  4. Good advice. I am watching things happen and I find myself saying “I’ve seen this before. Recently”. I like your image of a car on ice, I feel like I am watching a slow motion car crash and there isn’t anything I can do about it.

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    1. That is very much what it feels like. Having been the driver in one of those slow-motion inevitable crashes, it feels a lot like that, too.

      All four wheels broke loose and started sliding at the same time. I got myself out of the oncoming traffic lane before any traffic came on, but momentum wouldn’t be denied, the slide continued, and it ended with us upside down in the ditch off the right shoulder. Everyone was okay, but our Chevy Blazer wasn’t.

      In retrospect, I was going too fast for conditions — not by much, because I’ve driven in snow and ice all my life, and I’m not an idiot — but too fast nonetheless. Other people going a lot faster and passing at speed made me feel like I had to push the pace a little. I did have enough presence of mind (and skill) to get myself out of the path of oncoming traffic, but not enough skill and/or space to pull out of the skid entirely. At least I didn’t make it worse.

      Moral of the story: Stay in your margin of safety, no matter what everybody else is doing.

      Second moral: It’s possible that you get unlucky and the whole thing goes into a skid even when you’re being sane and careful. In that moment, awareness and preparedness are more important than ever; if nothing else, you can at least not make a bad situation worse.

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  5. And then there was the story one of the guys at Ace shared last night, wherein he was a student driver in a driver’s ed car – the one with brakes on the passenger side – at a red light, with a giant truck barreling down from behind, and an instructor insistent that he should not turn right on a red.

    One just has to be cognizant of which situation one is in.

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    1. Oh lawd…. I’m having flashbacks to an incident with my driving instructor.

      As with your story, I was in a Driver’s Ed Car, little Chevy Cavalier, who for those of you who don’t know cars was basically a flimsy sheet of tin foil and rust stretched over four wheels.

      Anywho, the instructor had me cruising around the back roads, going up and down hills to get familiar with maintaining constant momentum (i.e. not slowing down going uphill and excessively speeding up going downhill. As we’re going up a hill on this narrow two-lane road (emphasis on “narrow”) with no shoulder a cement truck comes flying over the crest of the hill… smack in the center of the road. One set of tires in the oncoming lane, the second set of tires just about even with the little Chevy’s driver seat and teenage Raptor. I immediately and instinctively steer to the right to get out of the way, but my instructor lunges for the wheel and tries to steer us back into the path of the oncoming cement truck that’s still in the center of the road!

      We wrestle for the wheel for a second before he stands on his brake pedal and brings the car to a screeching halt. The cement truck misses us by maybe six inches. And then the following conversation ensues.

      Instructor: “What do you think you were doing?!”

      Raptor: “He was in the center of the road and was going to hit us! I was getting us out of the way!”

      Instructor: “You were going to drive us into the ditch! We would have hit the telephone pole!”

      Raptor: “He was going to hit us!”

      Instructor: “You should have let him!”

      Raptor: “WHAT?! WHY?!”

      Instructor: “If you hit a telephone pole, you’re at fault, but if he’d hit us, then he would have been liable!”

      Raptor: “… … … If he’d hit us, I would be dead.”

      Instructor: “Don’t be dramatic. You’re wearing a seatbelt and you have an airbag.”

      Raptor: “Yeah, and he still would have crushed my side of the car like we’re at Monster Jam.”

      We finished the lesson, but when I got home I told my parents what happened and adamantly refused to ever drive with that instructor again. IIRC, I wanted to quit the lessons all together, but Dad had prepaid for all of them or something, so that wasn’t an option. They did work something out with the driving school so I was able to transfer over to a different instructor for my last few lessons.

      But seriously: the idiot thought it was better to kamikaze yourself into an oncoming truck than risk having your insurance premiums go up.

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      1. Worse. He was more worried about -fault- than -survival-. That you would have been the squishiee is even more obscene. He has a -job- to protect!

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          1. Yes. (But I wasnt there. And that was not the info Raptor provided.)

            Instructor: “If you hit a telephone pole, you’re at fault, but if he’d hit us, then he would have been liable!”

            Raptor: “… … … If he’d hit us, I would be dead.”

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            1. My point is, the instructor may have been saving his OWN life. The fault idiocy is just rote words spewed to cover his butt. He KNEW the kid was likely to die if that truck hit the car, he knew precisely why Raptor did what he did, and he had to say something to cover his own irrational actions.

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      2. That particular driving instructor should have been fired, or at least severely docked in pay and reprimanded. Like they said above, physics plays no favorites. A cement truck will crush a regular car like a coke can under a steam roller. You’ve got your momentum ADDED to the momentum of the oncoming truck, more than doubling the energy of the collision. As long as the ditch isn’t a ravine or canyon where the fall alone will kill you, that’s the better option. Even hitting the telephone pole, especially if it’s a wooden one, is a better option, as at least the pole might break and dissipate the energy. (Personally, I’d go for a glancing sideswipe off the pole if possible, or better yet, drive down the ditch and shed speed that way.)

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve had the thought lately that as utterly pissed as the powers that be are getting about us not watching Disney movies and shopping at Target, they’re really not going to like even the littlest efforts at being ungovernable.

    They wanted a culture war, so… let’s get more ungovernable.

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    1. Some of them are counting on being able to coerce us via social pressure, mocking from the media, cancelling our platforms, etc. Plus the Big Finger Of The State prodding sensitive bits.

      They cant handle the current crop of “unknown motivation” “lone wolf” hits on the occasional innocent. In fairness, they are probably not really trying, as they get points for bagging crazies, not preventing crazies (at elast at current norms). The folks that would “lose their shit” in a notional “boog” would be much higher skill, much better at target selection, and probably far less pre-noisy about it. -Really- not wanting to see that.

      If the anti-gun folks were to observe the average CMP/DCM rifle match, or a typical IPSC “3 gun”, they would totally lose their collective shirt. An acquaintance at work finally looked up “Cowboy Action Shooting”, and found the vids of world-champ grade shooters. He was kinda horrified, watching some 20-something kid shoot 24 aimed shots out of 4 different guns, with movement between guns, all on target, in 12-ish total seconds. But thought it was totally cool with blackpowder. And was reassured when I pointed out cops have modern guns. (grin)

      Yeah. Ouch.

      No, we need to step back from the brink. Before someone decides to demonstrate the mayhem available in a Tractor Supply store. No, please let’s not, eh?

      Y’all git your booger hooks off the dang boog button, eh?

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        1. I’m not talking about reacting. We can just act or just not act. They’re pissing themselves because we won’t go to movies. There are lots of other things we can just not do.

          Example, it’s well past time for female athletes to just sit down and refuse to compete against the insane trannies.

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          2. Don’t you know? Refusing to spend our money on things that promote politics we don’t agree with is Economic Terrorism!

            But when the government locks you out of banking for Badspeak, that’s just preventing the spread of misinformation.

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      2. I’m not talking about doing big things. I’m noting that the tiny things drive them nuts. So we do more quiet tiny things that drive them nuts.

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      3. I think they’re counting on bumping along until 2026-2030 or thereabouts, when they figure stuff like central bank digital currency, more robust financial surveillance and reporting (today’s $600 threshold might become $150 or something), more robust data surveillance (such as is claimed to be in the FISA reauthorization currently before Congress), the post-’26 model-year auto “kill switch,” etc. will — ahem — make resistance futile. Or so they believe.

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  8. Agree completely. Also, pray for clarity of mind and wisdom of judgment, for yourself, family, friends, neighbors, everyone actually. Have a calming response ready for those moments when a frazzled acquaintance approaches. Remind your loved ones often. Pray some more for peace.

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            1. Item retweeted on my timeliness involving a company called, “Gunbusters.” They’re supposed to be destroying guns. Instead, they’ve been destroying one component per guna nd selling the rest of it as a kit…

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              1. LOL.
                BATFE created the technicality, and that company exploited it.
                I can hardly think of a better way to stick their fingers in ATF’s eyes.
                Of course it also illustrated the absurdity and tyranny of ATF when it comes to firearms. There needs to be a concerted effort to wipe out 90% (or more) of their firearm regulations. Which would also wipe out the need for 80% of the workforce devoted to enforcing those unnecessary regs.

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        2. Book condoms? Aren’t those considered vacuum-sealed mailing bags? You know, the ones you need a razor-sharp katana to open after UPS dumps it on your front steps?

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  10. Even if we are confident we’d win; this is not an intersection we should rush across. No matter who wins the other side of that crossing is a very different place, and it is not the magically wonderful promised land.

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    1. Agreed, and that has been noted multiple times. It’s a bit like wanting a Constitutional Comvention: You have ZERO guarantee of the results, but you can be confident that you won’t like them. :-x

      Liked by 1 person

  11. ” Even if we are confident we’d win; this is not an intersection we should rush across. No matter who wins the other side of that crossing is a very different place, and it is not the magically wonderful promised land.”

    There is often more than one set of train tracks at the crossing, beware of getting hit by a second train when you only looked for one when crossing the first track.
    🚂🚧🚂

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    1. In Wheaton, IL, where I went to college, there is a set of three train tracks that runs through town, carrying both commuter trains going to & from Chicago, and also freight trains. Once, I stood there waiting to cross the tracks on foot, and watched four trains go by. A commuter train went past on track 1, then as it was leaving, a freight train went past on track 2. A very long freight train. About the time it was almost past the intersection, another freight train went past on track 3. By the time that one had cleared the intersection, the commuter train was far enough ahead that another freight train could follow it on track 1. Finally, after four trains went past on three tracks, the crossing guard lights stopped flashing, the barrier gate lifted, and the long line of cars started going through the intersection at last.

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    2. Reposting since the comment appears to have been swallowed the first time…

      In Wheaton, IL, where I went to college, there is a set of three train tracks that runs through town, carrying both commuter trains going to & from Chicago, and also freight trains. Once, I stood there waiting to cross the tracks on foot, and watched four trains go by. A commuter train went past on track 1, then as it was leaving, a freight train went past on track 2. A very long freight train. About the time it was almost past the intersection, another freight train went past on track 3. By the time that one had cleared the intersection, the commuter train was far enough ahead that another freight train could follow it on track 1. Finally, after four trains went past on three tracks, the crossing guard lights stopped flashing, the barrier gate lifted, and the long line of cars started going through the intersection at last.

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    3. Third time attempting to post this, because first two times didn’t take.

      In Wheaton, IL, where I went to college, there is a set of three train tracks that runs through town, carrying both commuter trains going to & from Chicago, and also freight trains. Once, I stood there waiting to cross the tracks on foot, and watched four trains go by. A commuter train went past on track 1, then as it was leaving, a freight train went past on track 2. A very long freight train. About the time it was almost past the intersection, another freight train went past on track 3. By the time that one had cleared the intersection, the commuter train was far enough ahead that another freight train could follow it on track 1. Finally, after four trains went past on three tracks, the crossing guard lights stopped flashing, the barrier gate lifted, and the long line of cars started going through the intersection at last.

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  12. Pause, look. listen and then look again. While walking with little dog – we have been working on “heel” when crossing substantial streets which is for our joint safety. When we reach the other side of the intersection we now “stop” and pause to look around and then dog gets the “ok” and walk continues. We also know how to “wait” which is what we do when sidewalk traffic comes up behind us or is meeting us (jogger, bike, bunch of kids or whatever) where we step to the side and let everything go by prior to continuing our little walkie. She has become really good at it. She also knows “check your perimeter” when we go on the deck and sure enough – does a look & sniff on all sides.

    It sort of reminds me of the old gunfighter saying: slow is fast, fast is slow. You make a deliberate choice after that micro pause and then and only then does the movement start. It never hurts to look around and not get blind sided. Another old gunfighter saying ‘scan and breathe’ so you don’t get tunnel vision.

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    1. All valid, and good job with the pup. :-)

      My particular favorite is usually attributed to Wyatt Earp: “Fast is fine, but accuracy is final.” Or “Take your time. But quickly.”

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  13. Hello fellow Patriots. Who wants to talk about illegal activities?

    You’re a big scardey cat if you don’t and George Washington will cry. We like George Washington, right?

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          1. They need a new verse.
            If they protect pedophiles it’s a fed
            If they protect child rapists its a fed
            If they are communist traitors, it’s a fed
            If they murder people in parks, its a fed
            If they murder people in prison its a fed
            It its evil to its rotten soul its a fed

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            2. If they’re helping do the pedos, it’s a fed.
              If they’re cov’rin’ for the pedos, it’s a fed
              If they’ll shoot your dog and gramma
              Ta keep the traff’kers from the slammer
              If they’re workin’ for the pedos
              It’s a fed.

              There ya go.

              Liked by 1 person

    3. You mean, illegal, like… entrapment?

      You should know that we are all really Feds here. You’re just making extra paperwork for yourself when all the different offices start writing each other up.

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      1. Fission Core… is it a ‘pit’ or is it a music genre?

        And would the truly strange cover of Atomic Power by Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon be a case of Fission Core?

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  14. There was a good reason why Frank Herbert invented the Bureau of Sabotage for several of his books. Runaway government, and their media dogs, are one of the most destructive forces in the universe.

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  15. I think for a lot of us, there’s a certain desire to Just Get It Over With. Right now I’m feeling like I would back in the days before MyChart online, when the doctor’s office would leave a voice message on Friday afternoon telling us to call about Something Important — and by the time we found the message, they were already closed, so we had to wait all weekend, not knowing how awful the news would be. Bad test results? Seriously bad test results? Something even worse? Except in our current case, we have no idea how long the “weekend” is going to be, or even what type of thing is waiting for us when it ends, only that it’s going to be Bad.

    And somehow, having gone through each summer thinking this would be the last halcyon summer before the the Awful Stuff has made things worse instead of better.

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  16. I may be late to my party, but at least me and mine, get there alive, whole, and safe. True when driving a car. True when PTB are trying to panic the masses. My party, because it sure won’t be what PTB and their proxies are trying to throw in the <del<sewer septic tank (no exits).

    Icy intersection is a good analogy.

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        1. For those who have not gone to look, the vid is pretty incredible: He says his last line in a loud clear voice, turns to his left, and promptly drops like whatever in Constantinople drops like a sack of potatoes. A sack of falafel?

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    2. Thank you. You just made my day. “Down goes Frazier! DOWN GOES FRAZIER!” Smirking in Hebrew now ….

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    6. I am reminded of the joke about the college professor who said “If He is real, let Him strike me down off this podium, right now”, whereupon a verteran in the class stood, walked up, and one-punched him off the podium. “He was busy, so He sent me instead.” LOL.

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  19. The only reason Biden is giving Ukraine money is to stop Putin from getting his hands on all that evidence of corruption. You forget Obama is the one who let him have Crimea, that was the time to stop Putin. Obama turned a blind eye and Joe raped the country for money. Putin is an evil slug, but so is Biden.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ukraine won when Putin failed to take Kyiv and replace their government. All they have to do is not quit, and Russia eventually collapses when they run out of cannon fodder. Note that could take 20 more years. But Putin lost if the Ukies won’t quit.

      Thus all this crap about “Ukraine can’t win” and “Ukraine has to cede territory”. Putin’s puppets are trying to induce folks to help make Ukraine quit.

      Thats Bullshit. Ukraine already won. “Russian warship, Go to dick!”

      That ship, the flagship Moskva, is now a fish reef. Ouch.

      Russians deserve better than to be squandered for pride.

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      1. This.

        When looking at what various “experts” are opining in media or the intertubes, here’s one crazy trick for evaluating said opining:

        If The Shirtless Tsar would endorse what someone is advising, that’s the wrong thing to choose.

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  20. The post is well taken. Never good to be railroaded or pushed ahead, or simply react to provocations.

    If someone is deliberately provoking you, at the very least they are ready for a fight and YOU are not. They have picked the time and location of the fight, and YOU did not. They picked the audience they want to fight in front of, and YOU did not.

    Therefore, if someone is provoking me, I’m not paying much attention to their bluster and threat displays. I’m keeping a distance that makes them take a step before they can hit me. I’m looking at the crowd to see who’s watching and what their deal is. I’m looking for cameras. I’m on my way to the exit.

    But more than that, I’ve read the room before I ordered my meal or whatever. I’ve marked my exits. It it feels weird or itchy, if people are moving wrong or standing where they shouldn’t be, I’m already out of there. I’m back in the parking lot before the provocation can even start.

    I am a leaf. I fall in my own time.

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  21. I am in no condition, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or financially to do a boog.

    OTOH, if you bring pie (except mincemeat, a man does have limits), I can supply pretty dang good coffee and a comfy places to sit* while eating, drinking, and talking about America the Beautiful…

    (Comfy seats may be limited. Please make reservations ahead of time.)

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    2. “An army marches on its stomach.” Napoleon

      Food is essential to conflict. Preserved food allows campaigns. Hot fresh food builds morale.

      During the Old West cattle drives, the cook in the Chuckwagon was often the highest paid participant, by far. Men will put up with incredible hardships if the food is good.

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  22. p = mv^2.

    Mobs have mass on their side. We need to be more mobile – or otherwise bring high-velocity in a way that even a mob can’t ignore.

    I tend to like Mr. Miyagi’s maxim: “Best block, don’t be there.”

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      1. That was probably written soon after a Greek squad, shooting small arms at an Italian tank (the Italians invaded early in the WW2), hit key rivets, which caused the armor plates to fall off the tank, exposing the crew.

        Who thereupon surrendered to the startled Greeks.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Given the little I know of WWII Italian armor that was probably the best result. Italian tanks were often (badly) based on British tankettes in the 30’s and had a tendency to brew up at the drop of a hat. You’d be better off being a B-17 crew member in the early war bombing, your survival rate was far superior.

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  23. Somewhat tangentially, there is the living example of us die-hard BMW owners who refuse to buy anything with an automatic transmission. And our beloved brand caving (cashing) in to all the shiftless dastards who view driving as a chore. Until now, when BMW announced the impending return the 6-speed manual transmission (https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a46093511/2024-bmw-z4-manual-transmission/). Some good things come to those who wait.

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    1. We chose our 2004 (purchased Nov 2003) Elantra based on the fact it was a manual. Whole point was to have a manual to teach our soon to be 15-year old to drive a manual. It became his car when he got his license 24 months later, and 45,000 miles later (when dad was commuting 900 mile round trip every weekend, plus regular work commute). In 2020, at 145,000 miles it was “traded” in (pity amount and we weren’t about to sell to anyone) for a manual. His options were limited. Very, very, few models come with a manual option these days. OTOH, while he technically purchased a sports model high on the possible stolen lists, being a manual, it has a lock all it’s own.

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      1. Several decades ago, I treated my then 9-year-old nephew to an afternoon of driving lessons in a stadium parking lot. Driving a 5-speed BMW Z3 put that kid over the moon. Fast forward a decade, and Nephew is working for a landscape architect, and somebody needs to drive the truck. Guess who was the only guy there who could handle a manual transmission?

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        1. I was trying to explain “double clutching” (Army 2-1/2 and 5 ton trucks) to someone recently.

          I was issued a Jeep. Most of our Jeeps were junk, so not enough were available for a Jeep school. So of course instead we learned to drive 2-1/2 and 5 ton trucks. As I was running my “road course” onthe tank trails of Fort Stewart, teh sergenat/instructor said “Turn right here”, “Here?” “Yes here!”.

          “NONONONONO! at the road ahead aaaAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”

          I lurch-turned down about 30 meteres of steep embankment, into woods. At one pont, we were slip/sliding and rolled up on the downhill wheels. I got the whole driver side up in the air. The sergeant went “cat in a bathtub” and from “coffee” to “tan casper”.

          I managed to juggle-steer it just enough to prevent a complete rollover. When we hit bottom of the embankment, it settled back onto the left wheels and I drove through the woods, sloloming trees to the cross-trail I was supposed ot have used. Up that, back on the trail,and foudn my way back to the truck park in the woods.

          The whole way back, the sergeant maintained “cat in tub” position, and silence. I finally brought it in and parked it neatly. “Do I pass sergeant?’

          “meewkurgh…”

          “Do I pass sergeant?’

          “Get out …. of my (censored-BLEEPING) truck….”

          “Do I pass sergeant? or do it over?”

          “GET OUT OF MY (CENSORED-BLEEPING) TRUCK! PASS! GET OUT! (CENSORED-BLEEPING)!” (more of similar)

          (grin)

          The right side wheels were packed full of dirt and sticks. I think the sergeant bent the metal of the passenger door gripping it. He may still be there. I broke him for sure.

          For some reason, folks were ….. hesitant to allow me to drive big trucks after that. “No, thats OK Mailclerk. Thanks, but no. PVT Schmudlapp can drive when he gets here….”

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    2. While I never owned a BMW, I did appreciate much about many of their vehicles. But I most appreciated their one commercial, that went further toward getting me to buy one than any other; “We believe that happiness is not AROUND the next corner, happiness IS the next corner!” with appropriate video of car being driven enthusiastically. YES.

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  25. And this hasn’t yet appeared so…. (there are many versions):

    Here lies the body of Thomas Grey,
    Who died defending his right of way.
    He was right, dead right, the whole way along,
    But he’s just as dead as if he’d been dead wrong.

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    1. In college (in the ’70s, so idiocy) student pedestrians were occasionally too assertive for their own good. (OTOH, U of Redacted was not in a major metropolitan area, so some of the students felt “safe”.)

      I reminded myself that while I might have the right of way, the car approaching the crosswalk had the right of weight.

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      1. Aye. ‘That much mass will kill your [butt].’

        And today, well, the lesson of Reginald Denny applies for drivers encountering dumbarssamide-addicted “protesters”:
        ALWAYS KEEP IT GEAR! THE LIFE SAVE WILL BE YOURS!

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    1. I dunno… I’m thinking of the “How could you know that was Iron Balls McGinty?” quote from The Jerk, only it’s “How could you know that ugly old crossdresser was No-Balls Levine?”

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  27. Had an older gal (ie. she should’ve known better) in my crosswalk, head down in phone with earphones on. She jumped 3 feet straight up when I honked in her face.

    “A**hole!” she yelled, pointing at the WALK sign

    “Exactly” I laughed “And you’re entrusting your life to me because…?”

    “Thank. You.” As her adult brain turned back on. I think. Might have said something close to that…

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