Well. That had to be the world’s most blah milestone birthday. Though to be fair Dan and I and I myself are cursed. He’s not. He always manages to have a decent birthday for his milestone birthdays. Mine…. something always happens and our anniversaries… don’t get me started.
For mine, Dan wasn’t feeling… well, for health reasons, he couldn’t do much of anything, which kind of torpedoed my idea of driving out on a grand excursion. And of course it was too cold to even take a long walk outside. So the only thing I could was cheat on my diet and gain 5 lbs. How I don’t know. It’s not like we ate five pounds worth of food, even combined. OTOH I did walk past a pastry display case, and you know how that goes.
I’ve been kind of down since. Not depressed — well how do you tell from the background depression of now being sure we’re in for a hard landing, and just waiting for the shoe to drop? — precisely. Just sad and very tired, suddenly.
Part of it of course is the milestone. Very old people in the village when I was little were in their sixties. Granted, my family in general lived longer, but being the youngest child of almost the youngest child, I didn’t consciously meet any of those. Consciously the first time I met an eighty year old I was in my teens.
But no matter how much I tell myself even my MIL who was known as an anti-health fanatic (not on purpose. She just had issues keeping to diet and exercise) lived past eighty. My father and FIL are both in their nineties and ticking away, as is mom in her late eighties (and her genetic lottery is far worse than mine. I take (thank heavens) after dad’s side.)
Yet, still, in the back of my mind, “sixty is old people age”. I’m starting to understand why part of the rejuv therapy in Heinlein’s stories was hypno therapy. I mean, blood test results (still pursuing one very strange anomaly, but probably not fatal even at worse) I am now in better health (by far) than I was at 40. Coming to low altitude has apparently resolved the pre-diabetes thing, so even though I’d been trifling with corn chips and fries, I was still not even close to pre-diabetic. Pretty much center range.
The weight is ridiculous, but I’m dealing with that.
And yet the pall remains upon the mind. Sixty. That’s old people age.
And here I want to reassure everyone there is not even the slightest idea of laying down and dying. I have books to write, and the sense of purpose will keep me going regardless.
As I’m dealing forcefully with the irrational parts of our minds, I started applying it to the country’s situation.
Look, I expected the fraud. What I didn’t expect was the right to accept it, and roll over. I guess I have better opinion of my fellow pundits than they deserve. Though of course, I’m also working for myself, and even I thought it would be risky, in terms of losing readers to come right out and say “it’s fraud.” Imagine how much worse it is when your outfit (and I think all of them did) said “you can’t say that.”
Meh. I’ll tell the obvious truth — unless you want to believe that yeah, Biden is so beloved he won with more votes than any other president and lost the fewer seats in the mid term. Sorry boys. Say that with a straight face — and shame the devil.
Also the steady drumbeat of “You can’t keep harping on that, you’ll lose readers” reminded me of “you’ll starve in the gutter without me” every time I left an agent or publishing house.
Bah. That’s not how I work. Never was, won’t start now.
But in a way, for those of us who are awake and aware and have seen the fraud and the roll over, there is also “well, nothing we can do now. Just go hide and lick our wounds” or “erase all traces of my opinions and move to Timbuktu.”
It’s not like that. Just like I turned sixty, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do a Buffy vampire, turning wrinkly, then dust. That’s what the mind jumps to, because the mind is an idiot.
But yeah “you can vote yourself into socialism, but you have to shoot your way out” is true mostly. Most countries also don’t vote themselves in. Socialists and communists don’t care what you voted for, they’re going to fraud themselves in. As for shooting ourselves out…
We are better equipped for that than any other country ever.
That is perhaps our most salient difference. And yea “but if we don’t use them.” Well, that would be the best use of them. All those nightmares y’all keep having? Yeah, if we weren’t armed to the teeth it’s highly likely that they’d already be rolling relocations, if not cattle cars.
The consciousness they’re dealing with a heavily armed population is keeping their depredations to what they can still lie about/keep from the general public.
And even then, things leak out.
I said above that the chance at a soft landing is gone. It probably is, for a completely soft landing. There is going to be unpleasantness. I just don’t know to what degree or where or when. Probably not all over the country. Probably initiated by the other side, under the belief it’s their last chance at a real win where they get to do to us as they’re afraid to.
But there’s still a chance at a softer landing. Part of this is exposing how bad the fraud was, and getting people to understand the machines/early voting/mail in are soft traps, that lead to more fraud. We need to turn public sentiment against those, and fast. It’s been turning, but not fast enough for my taste.
The other part of it is to be prepared.
You don’t know where or when the shoe will drop. If it drops on you, be prepared to survive.
It’s like sixty. Rumors of our demise are grossly exaggerated. We’re a singular nation, and the proceedings from here on will be unlikely.
We’re in uncharted territory, and it’s scary. But it means we’re not dead yet.
Like with sixty, I’m going to shrug my shoulders and keep battling on in every way I can, as long as I can.
Be not afraid.