This is an adorable-animal-free zone. Absolutely no cute, heart-melting critters will infest this post today!
THE GOAL IS $50,000
the counter stands at: $29,162.30 USD*(Updated at least every 8 hours, more often if i happen to be here.)
IT ENDS JULY 16TH.
*The total is probably at least somewhat higher (maybe all the way up if some billionaire donated 😉 ) because we’ve been informed there are several envelopes in the mailbox. We’ll try to get them before the end of this, but if not, I’ll report afterwards.
Why I’m Doing This
After however many years of virtually no income from the blog, and a lot of sacrifices made by me — and my family — in order to post almost every single day, my family chased me down, cornered me (imagine me snarling, and them holding a chair in lion-tamer position.) and made me promise to run a fundraiser early July.
Also, honestly, I do need the seed money to contract out a lot of the work I do and not be perpetually late on everything and also maybe have more time to write fiction, because the story ideas and characters are starting to pour out my ears, which is not only unsightly but alarms the neighbors.
Meanwhile I know a lot of people to whom the payment for doing things like making my website work, or updating the side bars on this blog, or other stuff like that can make the difference between going under or making it through the mess ahead. I figure it’s win win.
THE INCENTIVES AND TIERS:
Tier 1– $10 or more – A shout out on my blog, all with all other the supporters, by name, in one massive “Thank you” post. [Jokey or offensive names will not be included at author’s discretion.]
Tier 2– $25 or more – Email jpg of certificate with funny fish saying “I Was Carped at according to hoyt.com” and a Certificate of being a member of Hoyt’s Huns, cultural wars sapper battalion, in good standing.
Tier 3– $60 or more – Exclusive ebook collection of USAian SHORT stories. (Including a new, original, never published story.) Estimated delivery August 2023
Tier 4– $100 or more – Your name will appear in a mass death/other mass event/list in one of Sarah’s books. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.]
Tier 5– $150 or more – A sound file of Sarah saying “Moose and Squirrel.”
Tier 6 – $250 or more – Will send a signed copy of trade paperback Gentleman takes a chance and one large postcard with book covers, also signed. (USPS- continental US only. All others, let’s talk.) [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Tier 7 – $350 or more – Three signed books (of our choice), plus two extra items from “Sarah’s Garage”, (also of our choice) which might very well be a small rubber fish. (You’ve been warned.) USPS only. Continental U.S. only [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Tier 8 – $500 or more – Personalized tuckerization. You will become your very own zany character, with at least a line or two of dialogue, and physical description. Physical safety and life of character not guaranteed. If you perish, it will NOT (repeat not) be in a mass death event or a list of other kinds. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.] [Jokey or offensive names, descriptions and personalities will not be included at author’s discretion.]
Tier 9 – $1000 or more – A CHOICE OF:
Option 1 -Will read the first 10 pages and outline of your novel and provide timely critique, with the understanding that I am not infallible. (A skype, zoom or other video call to discuss the work for an hour or so.) [estimated delivery Winter 2022 – Spring 2023]
Option 2 – Large box of ten signed books, plus items ranging from a con badge, to a mini dinosaur skeleton or a print of Sarah’s original art, or other items from Sarah’s garage. USPS only. Continental U.S. only [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Option 3 – Signed copy of Sarah’s old copyedited or page-proof manuscripts. [estimated delivery Fall 2022] (5 limit.)
Tier 10 – $5000 or more – You will become a major character on one of my books, and I’ll try to reflect your appearance, and chosen personality. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.] [Jokey or offensive names, descriptions and personalities will not be included at author’s discretion. You don’t get to have someone else be an offensive character. (Sorry!) Your actions will be altered to serve the plot if needed.] – Limit 5. (You’ll be informed if this has been claimed, and given a chance for a refund or of a comparable reward.)
Tier Insane – $25000 or more – My husband and I will travel to a city in the continental US and have dinner with you and your plus one. (Continental US only.) – Limit ONE. [Delivery up to July 2023.] (You’ll be informed if this has been claimed, and given a chance for a refund or of a comparable reward.)
ALL TIERS INCLUDE ALL PREVIOUS TIERS EXCEPT FOR THOSE THAT ARE NUMBER LIMITED.
If you want to be thanked/mentioned by a name different from your regular one, please email to: bookpimping at outlook dot com.
TO DONATE:
DONATE TO ACCORDING TO HOYT TAANSTAFL DAYS (The previous words are a link!)

FOR CHECK DONATIONS:
Sarah A. Hoyt
Goldport Press
304 S Jones Blvd #6771
Las Vegas, NV 89107
THIS IS PINNED TO THE TOP OF THE BLOG. THE DAILY POST APPEARS BELOW THIS.

CC BY-active link to explain rights.
There you go. See, absolutely no adorabl–

What? Which of you has the key to my blog? And what are you up to?

Okay, fine, they are definitely adorable, but are hedgehogs even animals, I mean, really. They’re mostly spine–

I see, you’re not even going to discuss it, are you? Fine. Whatever. You just chill now.

But I must warn you, the first of you to break out in a rousing chorus of the hedgehog song will have a lifetime supply of carp to deal with.
There is a hedgehog song? That is, an actual song thingie, and not just(!) something from Discworld or such?
[And dagnabbit, I nearly typo-ed that as DiscO-world… now that’s a horror.]
Discworld, but there are several competing sets of lyrics.
Predictable for a folk song.
Hmm I’m in the same state as our Beloved ox, no clue that there is a musical tribute to the smaller cousins of Spiny Norman. I mean I could look it up but what’s the point?
It’s in the the BG1958 system, believed to have been built by the Travoltans.
And here I was expecting a fast one where pictures of adorable vegetables were shown instead.
Gee, guess what might happen tomorrow.
Adorable minerals are on Friday.
I haven’t FOUND any adorable vegetables. I could have done crustaceans, I suppose.
Image search Apple Duck:

00e609db7f074332f19f41ae4416c93e.jpg (640×577)
Apparently broccoli kitten mostly turns up cats eating or curled up under broccoli.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is there an accompanying instruction video or “recipe” for this one? Asking for my friend, J. Appleseed.
I thought there might be pictures of un-adorable animals. [Crazy Grin]
Hedgehog songs? Let me see what I can find. [Very Big Crazy Grin]
The hedgehog song? You mean –
Slugamoon, slugamoon,
Grant this faithful hedgehog’s boon
All the hedgehogs sing it, or so I’ve been told.
Ok… we had to go “there” now did’t we??
…Imma write a carp song. BRB.
Is that Spiny Norman?
I watch Allen Millyard on YT and he often ends his vids with night vision shots of the hedgehogs in his yard (and cupcakes his wife makes, and birds, and well, Allen)
one of his creations,
That is NOT a hedgehog, that is terrifying…its a V-10 crotch rocket.
The hedgehogs make their appearance in the final few seconds.
Can’t be any worse then the Hampster Dance [sic]. On another not I once crossed path with an actual service hedgehog in C Spgs coupla years ago. It’s ‘service’ was to be a spiny alarm if/when it’s owner had a seizure. I guess the critters can be pretty loud for their size.
Uh. Service hedgehog…..
One thing people might not know is that wild hedgehogs in Europe are absolutely infested with fleas. I brought one in from the yard for the wife to take and show the kids in her after school program, and had to hit it with a can of Raid it was so bad. 9 inch hedgehog had enough fleas to cover the entire bottom of a 2 square foot box so it looked black. Talk about a disease reservoir!
Are you in Europe?
We had hedgehogs in grandma’s yard.
Back in the mid-80s, I had the joy of being stationed at Florennes AB, Belgium making sure the cruise missile launch trailers, the control trailers, and the MAN truck tractors that pulled them around, were in working order, along with all the other vehicles the U.S. had at that base. Managed to get command sponsored to be able to bring my wife over, and we rented a guy’s summer home in the woods in Regniessart for my tour there. Google Maps shows it at 50.01412, 4.58170 We spent a lot of time dodging logging trucks on the road, and the occasional wild boar.
I am itching just thinking about this.
As for the picture, I just get a John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever vibe.
John Revolta? ♉
Amazingly good airplane pilot. His judgement skills when choosing a life philosophy? Eeeeeeeehhhhhhhh notsogreat.
good friend of my cousin, did a walk on bit for one of his movies (Boris And Natasha) because he just stopped by to chat on the set that day.
No hot space-babe today?!? I protest!!!
LOL
That is a practical outfit, though….
That’s a hot space-babe. From a female point of view.
Competent, anyways.
Which is definitely hot.
Exactly this.
Yeah, nothing wrong with equal opportunity fanservice.
I don’t know the hedgehog song… But there was a badger song a long time ago.
“Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM!”
Snake!
“Okay, fine, they are definitely adorable, but are hedgehogs even animals, I mean, really. They’re mostly spine–”
Spine is something we need more of. Especially in those we send to DC to oppose the Greens, and Globalists, and Socialists (BIRM). Hedgehogs for Congress!
…Mrs Piggy-Wiggle?!
?
Correction, it’s Tiggy-Winkle.

I wondered what the lady in the upside-down house had to do with it. 😃
No, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle is mostly human. In a sense.
No adorable animals except… and the three bulldog pups on my avatar…
Nah, those are animated pincushioins.
Once upon a time, Sarah used make sure she locked her screen instead of letting critters infest her blog.
At least we haven’t been exposed to “When Housecats Go Bad” or some similar Fox channel stuff…
lol. Beware. Tomorrow it might be plants. why? Well, it amuses me.
Hey! I just got rid of the triffid-like shrubberies in the front yard… And the so-called “butterfly garden” planted by a former owner makes me wish I’d invested in a mechanical machete of some sort… Or maybe a flamethrower with chainsaw bayonet?
Cute little houseplants don’t always stay that way…
The couple weeks a year the nettles grow make me wish I’d managed to get a “Not A Flamethrower” from Mr. Musk
#metoo
<Glares at Bamboo taking over her office. I bought it six years ago, in a grocery store. It was cute and spiral. I’m an awful plant owner. I don’t even water that often. (Cries.)
Hedgehogs are not cute little animals. They are disguised Fae.
Just kicked some $’s in-also included a message re using screen name on anything publicly posted.