This is an adorable-animal-free zone. Absolutely no cute, heart-melting critters will infest this post today!
THE GOAL IS $50,000
the counter stands at: $29,162.30 USD*(Updated at least every 8 hours, more often if i happen to be here.)
IT ENDS JULY 16TH.
*The total is probably at least somewhat higher (maybe all the way up if some billionaire donated 😉 ) because we’ve been informed there are several envelopes in the mailbox. We’ll try to get them before the end of this, but if not, I’ll report afterwards.
Why I’m Doing This
After however many years of virtually no income from the blog, and a lot of sacrifices made by me — and my family — in order to post almost every single day, my family chased me down, cornered me (imagine me snarling, and them holding a chair in lion-tamer position.) and made me promise to run a fundraiser early July.
Also, honestly, I do need the seed money to contract out a lot of the work I do and not be perpetually late on everything and also maybe have more time to write fiction, because the story ideas and characters are starting to pour out my ears, which is not only unsightly but alarms the neighbors.
Meanwhile I know a lot of people to whom the payment for doing things like making my website work, or updating the side bars on this blog, or other stuff like that can make the difference between going under or making it through the mess ahead. I figure it’s win win.
THE INCENTIVES AND TIERS:
Tier 1– $10 or more – A shout out on my blog, all with all other the supporters, by name, in one massive “Thank you” post. [Jokey or offensive names will not be included at author’s discretion.]
Tier 2– $25 or more – Email jpg of certificate with funny fish saying “I Was Carped at according to hoyt.com” and a Certificate of being a member of Hoyt’s Huns, cultural wars sapper battalion, in good standing.
Tier 3– $60 or more – Exclusive ebook collection of USAian SHORT stories. (Including a new, original, never published story.) Estimated delivery August 2023
Tier 4– $100 or more – Your name will appear in a mass death/other mass event/list in one of Sarah’s books. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.]
Tier 5– $150 or more – A sound file of Sarah saying “Moose and Squirrel.”
Tier 6 – $250 or more – Will send a signed copy of trade paperback Gentleman takes a chance and one large postcard with book covers, also signed. (USPS- continental US only. All others, let’s talk.) [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Tier 7 – $350 or more – Three signed books (of our choice), plus two extra items from “Sarah’s Garage”, (also of our choice) which might very well be a small rubber fish. (You’ve been warned.) USPS only. Continental U.S. only [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Tier 8 – $500 or more – Personalized tuckerization. You will become your very own zany character, with at least a line or two of dialogue, and physical description. Physical safety and life of character not guaranteed. If you perish, it will NOT (repeat not) be in a mass death event or a list of other kinds. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.] [Jokey or offensive names, descriptions and personalities will not be included at author’s discretion.]
Tier 9 – $1000 or more – A CHOICE OF:
Option 1 -Will read the first 10 pages and outline of your novel and provide timely critique, with the understanding that I am not infallible. (A skype, zoom or other video call to discuss the work for an hour or so.) [estimated delivery Winter 2022 – Spring 2023]
Option 2 – Large box of ten signed books, plus items ranging from a con badge, to a mini dinosaur skeleton or a print of Sarah’s original art, or other items from Sarah’s garage. USPS only. Continental U.S. only [estimated delivery Sept 2022]
Option 3 – Signed copy of Sarah’s old copyedited or page-proof manuscripts. [estimated delivery Fall 2022] (5 limit.)
Tier 10 – $5000 or more – You will become a major character on one of my books, and I’ll try to reflect your appearance, and chosen personality. [estimated delivery up through July 2023. All indie books, as no others are guaranteed.] [Jokey or offensive names, descriptions and personalities will not be included at author’s discretion. You don’t get to have someone else be an offensive character. (Sorry!) Your actions will be altered to serve the plot if needed.] – Limit 5. (You’ll be informed if this has been claimed, and given a chance for a refund or of a comparable reward.)
Tier Insane – $25000 or more – My husband and I will travel to a city in the continental US and have dinner with you and your plus one. (Continental US only.) – Limit ONE. [Delivery up to July 2023.] (You’ll be informed if this has been claimed, and given a chance for a refund or of a comparable reward.)
ALL TIERS INCLUDE ALL PREVIOUS TIERS EXCEPT FOR THOSE THAT ARE NUMBER LIMITED.
If you want to be thanked/mentioned by a name different from your regular one, please email to: bookpimping at outlook dot com.
DONATE TO ACCORDING TO HOYT TAANSTAFL DAYS (The previous words are a link!)
FOR CHECK DONATIONS:
Sarah A. Hoyt
304 S Jones Blvd #6771
Las Vegas, NV 89107
THIS IS PINNED TO THE TOP OF THE BLOG. THE DAILY POST APPEARS BELOW THIS.
There you go. See, absolutely no adorabl–
What? Which of you has the key to my blog? And what are you up to?
Okay, fine, they are definitely adorable, but are hedgehogs even animals, I mean, really. They’re mostly spine–
I see, you’re not even going to discuss it, are you? Fine. Whatever. You just chill now.
But I must warn you, the first of you to break out in a rousing chorus of the hedgehog song will have a lifetime supply of carp to deal with.