Things I Learned About Life From Watching Brazilian and Portuguese Soap Operas- a blast from the past from August 2nd 2016
1- The most effective way to kill a baby is to leave the window near his crib open at night. He’ll be stiff and dead by morning. (Sorry kids. I keel you a lot.)
2- If you work too hard you’ll get a “drained brain.”
This will cause you to sing New York New York at your important meeting, then pass out.
3- You can kill any number of people on your way to success, and no one will notice, not even enough to have rumors about you.
4- Memory loss is WAY common. I mean, you walk out your door and forget your name every other morning.
5- While suffering from memory loss you’ll fall in love with someone you hate. EVERY TIME. Preferably someone you hate who is married to one of your best friends.
6- The best way to avenge yourself on someone for anything ranging from trivial to heinous, is to create a really complicated plan that will eventually bring about their downfall. Or yours. Or… nothing, really. But you have to try it. Holy Plot Dictates so.
7- If a priest shows up in any role but villain, you’re watching a Portuguese soap opera.
8- Priests, Doctors, lawyers, anyone in an advisory capacity will come to your house to discuss your current problem, even if objectively he/she can do nothing about it.
9- Your priest will come to your house and tell you to be strong when you’re attracted to someone-not-your-husband. It’s amazing they have time to do anything else, including breathing.
10- the most menial occupations pay enough for palatial digs. This is shared with American sitcoms, I guess.