This and that and those


Today is my 34th (religious ceremony) anniversary, i.e. the “real anniversary” though we often celebrate the civil wedding in the summer, because you know… well, because for instance today we’d planned to go out to dinner, and the weather is bitterly cold with blowing snow, so we’re not. I’ll make dinner and we’ll eat at home.

Which honestly is fine.

I’m doing a quick cleaning as per usual on Friday, only quicker since it’s only been US in the house most of the time (it’s amazing how much more mess even ONE extra person adds) and then try to get some writing done.

You know, some of our time together has been neither easy nor pleasant: illnesses, being broke, worrying about the kids.  But I wouldn’t trade it away for anything else.  All in all, these have been 34 very happy years, and I’d be very happy with another 34.

That’s about it, since I don’t exactly have the brain for a real post.

Only two things: I gave my friends at MGC the option of deleting this comment but they inexplicably chose not to:

Since it links to things we’ve discussed here, I think it might be worth discussing.

Also, as usual I’m diffident about promoting my work, on my own blog, but I have the first blog review for Deep Pink.  It’s here.

And now I’m off to clean and write so I can have a nice dinner with my husband this evening.

You guys have fun.

87 thoughts on “This and that and those

    1. Ridin’ the storm out
      Waitin’ for the thaw out
      On a full night night in the Rocky Mountain winter

  1. Happy Anniversary.

    The comments by the leftists at the link who demand absolute conformity and cite “:studies” to justify their identity-based Marxist insanity, and which your response so effectively skewer, is proof of how utterly totalitarian their intent is.

  2. “You guys have NO IDEA how much your “studies” echo the ways that legitimate racists created studies to prove races were “inferior” or degenerate.
    You know what actually is harmful? Demanding that people of a certain skin color/ethnicity act in a certain way or be treated in a certain way because of it.”

    I don’t know how many times I’ve noticed parallels between feminist rhetoric about women and the words of chauvinists about women. The words used are a little different but the meaning is essentially the same. And how often (often!) do we see someone defending segregation by race? Often. Just yesterday, in fact. People are just more comfortable among their own kind. (Gawd, it was even hard to type that.)

    1. Hinges on what ‘my own kind’ is. Doesn’t matter what the race is, most people would bore me. (As I suspect I would bore them in return.)

      Hell, I need a wife who encourages me to write because she loves talking about what I’m writing and all the other First Reader benefits. _That_ would be a marriage with ‘one of my own kind’. (Also LDS, of course, so heading to BYU territory has its appeal.) And who desires fitness enough to not be an anchor around my own efforts, since I’m hindered enough already by my large appetite and dislike of exercise.

      Race only enters into it as a distant influence, and only because LBJ targeted minorities for dolist infantilization, to farm them for votes. The fact that public libraries are now open sewers for the homeless might even be harming kids more, by removing a traditional means of bootstrapping oneself.


    2. Chauvinists thought women should be given fainting couches in their safe spaces, while feminists just try to make the whole world a safe space with a fainting couch.

      Chauvinists thought women couldn’t be held responsible for their choices and so needed men to make the decisions for them. Feminists think that women can always go back on their choices with no consequences, leaving men holding the bag.

      I’ve come to the point of thinking that the chauvinists had some damn good points about how unsuited for adult life most women are.

      1. It is just a matter of the Left attempting to reprise with women the trick they pulled on Coloreds Negroes Blacks African-Americans: “helping” them into dependency.

        Where they used to say [subject group] was inferior they now tell them they’re oppressed. Then they sell them the same old boy’s band pre-packaged solution they used to peddle but with the name-plate decals updated. They’re just selling addiction, worse than heroin.

        LBJ showed the way; where the intact African-American family was the norm Lyndon sold them on broken families and got them to take it on the cheap. Now they’re offering the same program to “women,” too.

    3. “You know what actually is harmful? Demanding that people of a certain skin color/ethnicity act in a certain way or be treated in a certain way because of it.”

      The use of the word “demanding” is interesting here. I have never seen anyone demand such a thing in real life. Except Leftists, who constantly demand a Special Deal for certain groups based on skin colour alone. Or personal plumbing, or gender assertions. (Can’t say “confusion” anymore, they don’t seem confused at this point. Crazy and toxic, but not confused.)

      Female authors MUST be published… because they are female. No other reason. People of Colour MUST be published… because? Yes, JUST BECAUSE! you racist!

      White males MUST NEVER be published… because [mumble mumble]. Racist!!!

      Speaking as a White Male, and speaking only for myself, I find a great number of Leftist political activists out there demanding all sorts of things and all sorts of behaviors from me all the time.

      I’d just like to take this opportunity to say to y’all activists out there:


      1. I’m particularly amused at the “authenticity” dodge. “To be an ‘authentic’ woman/African-American/Latinx/Progressive/whatever you must conform to the agenda we’ve prescribed.”

        Screw that. I’m sticking to the agenda worked out between me and my Creator and if that’s not authentic enough for you I know of an extremely authentic lake into which you can jump. Who the Hell died and left you in charge of the dictionary?

        1. “Who the Hell died and left you in charge of the dictionary?”

          Uh … “Who the Hell died and left you in charge?”

          Fixed it for you (I’d use strikeouts, but never can seem to get them to work …)

            1. I find DEL and /DEL (with appropriate brackets) usually work, but your way seems to involve less typing.

                1. It worked!!!! Think figured out where I’ve been doing all this wrong.

                  RES & RCPete, along with others have given me codes, but hadn’t figured out how to work them … not like it is instant, only shows once posted.

  3. *hugs* Happy Anniversary!

    When you get back, oh promotion-adverse one, don’t forget to swap out the book under “My latest release” on your sidebar for Deep Pink.

  4. Finished Deep Pink last night. Liked it.
    Bizarre for a gumshoe type story, so since this is the first in the series I would like to be one of the first to challenge Sarah’s subconscious to keep the next one just as odd.

  5. You know what thirty-four years of marriage is?

    A decent start.

    It isn’t easy sharing your life with another person, managing the ups, downs and sideways twists of life. Better than doing on one’s own, however. It’s nice to have a person with whom a conversation can consist of, “Do you remember …?” “Oh yeah, I was just thinking of that!”

    1. The wise old fairy tales never were so silly as to say that the prince and the princess lived peacefully ever afterwards. The fairy tales said that the prince and princess lived happily ever afterwards; and so they did. They lived happily, although it is very likely that from time to time they threw the furniture at each other.

      ― G. K. Chesterton

      1. One of my favorite quotes from Narnia
        “Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I’m afraid even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up they were so used to quarreling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.”
        ― C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

        Happy Anniversary and may you and your spouse see many returns of the day.

  6. If any couple I know deserves the pleasure of two anniversaries without benefit of divorce and remarriage it is you … no make that you and eldest son …

    Not everyone deals with illness, not everyone has faced being broke, but anyone who has a child and is worth their salt will have experienced worries.

    Happy anniversary.

  7. There’s a lot of terms for folks who want to insist that basic descriptions which they happen to find upsetting are off limits, but most of them aren’t very polite or constructive.
    I’ll limit it to “silly.”

    Similar for lecturing a culture on what face the women are allowed to present to the world, but trying to shift it on to anybody who notices it rather than the source.

    Funny how it puts me in mind of the folks who assure me that they’re “saving” me from the horrible, hateful bullies who will force me to behave in a certain way…and promptly make it clear that I’m only allowed to think, speak and behave EXACTLY as they believe I should.
    Never actually seen that show up from the supposedly horrible socon bullies, y’know?

    1. Oh, that drives me nuts! PLEASE don’t save me! And, if you try to tell me how I SHOULD behave, let me warn you…contrarian doesn’t even begin to describe me (if my parents were still alive, I’d tell you to go ask them how well that worked out).

      1. I still get a kick out of bullying, bitter, older women and generally rather scaggy men informing me that I’m not a “real” woman.

        1. That’s always entertaining. Like there’s a Real Woman card you get from the government, and you’re supposed to show it to them.

          Funny how the Real Man thing seems to have curled up and died somewhere lately. Nobody talks about that anymore.

          1. Real Men aren’t very easy to bully, and they worked hard to make truly manly things “problematic.” Too threatening. Kind of like truly feminine things, but manly stuff tends to be more objective.

        2. The food nazis who informed $SPOUSE and me that sugar-free Swiss-Miss cocoa mix Was A Bad Thing got a) a “who are you?” look from me, and b) The Look Of Doom from $SPOUSE. They decided elsewhere was a good place to be before *I* got irritated.

          OTOH, Costco dropped that variety. On the gripping hand, our own mix was easy to develop. My first cuppa is mocha.

          1. Those woke morons destroyed Kraft mac’n’cheese, too– made the mistake of buying a big box right after they changed the formula.

            Kids wouldn’t eat it.

            Some moron tried to tell me that’s because my kids are brats….

              1. Kraft says they dropped artificial flavors, preservatives and dyes, *without* (according to them) changing the taste. No opinion on my part; I never much liked mac and cheese, and can’t eat it now.

                  1. When did this happen? haven’t eaten it in a while but was long a quick-and-dirty dinner… Dunno if would still help, but I always doctored the cheese glop a bit: use evaporated milk or half-n-half for the liquid. Mix separately and let sit while the macaroni cooks. Drain (do not rinse), mix with now-thick cheese glop and large amount of butter. Add a few handfuls of frozen (NOT cooked) baby peas, reheat if necessary but do not cook the peas. Did I mention you should not cook the peas?? Garnish with lemon pepper.

                    I’d just as often use the macaroni for something else, and mix the cheese powder with instant smashed potatoes…

                    1. ’15.

                      Since they used “paprika, turmeric, and annatto” to make the color, there’s probably a flavor and scent change that most adults can’t catch but kids can.

                      The Walmart brand stuff works fairly well, and I always doctored it up some (at least for the peas, usually some leftover meat, occasionally broccoli with shredded cheese as a foundation in their bowls) it got to where it was easier and cheaper to make a big pot of macaroni, melt a stick of butter in it, sprinkle lightly with garlic salt, serve with shredded cheese, put the uncheesed leftovers in the fridge to be microwaved within the next week.

                      Then I’m not playing roulette with if they’ll eat the @#$# stuff or not.

                      Thanks, *bleep* *bleep* bully.

              2. Some fluffy twit who styles herself as the “food babe” whipped up a lynch mob of the “I fing love science” sort and got rid of “artificial dyes” and “synthetic preservatives.”

                So it isn’t anywhere near as brilliant an orange, the powder clumps, and the shelf life took a major hit.

                Oh, and kids can taste the difference.

                1. And one supposes that the food bimbo never ate Kraft mac and cheese to begin with. After all, their “good works” aren’t supposed to have a negative impact on *them*. [spit]

                  1. A significant portion of the support actively bragged about how day-glo mac was Unclean and wouldn’t cross their lips.

                    In Kraft’s defense, the nasty bully did have a record of successfully causing harm to the kind of well-meaning gals who just want to keep their kids safe and don’t have a lot of time/skill at doing research like that.

                    1. A search on Food Babe shows she’s seems to be the type; pick something, exaggerate the risk of ingredients, and either force the company to drop it or (it looks) push a different product. Hmm.

                      ‘Tis a shame Fraft bowed to the outrage machine.

                    2. So, a single random nutter has more influence on their sales than the (probably) hundreds of millions of dollars they’ve spent on advertising for at least half a century?

                      For a product aimed at a market that’s so media-indoctrinated they knife each other over brands of shoes?

                      Sure. And the Product Cheapening Department didn’t have anything to do with the decision, either…

                    3. The knife-folks-over-shoes guys are exactly the ones they were worried about.

                      The result was that the product cost more, and they lost major market share because, as the old story goes, the dogs won’t eat it.

                    4. It’s more standard-issue “this solid product is boring, we want to make it COOL!” that causes movie studios to hire folks who don’t even like a series to direct the movies.

            1. Oh no. Is that what happened to it? I just thought that I magically got bad at making it. Which actually makes no sense because I’m a reasonably good cook and it’s Mac n’ Cheese for pities sake.

        3. I always ask what a “real woman” is supposed to be/do/say. I have two post-grad degrees, I have what has been considered an enviable career (faculty…but not in women’s studies, that usually poses a problem), I even kept my own name when I got married (already published in the academic world and pre-tenure didn’t want any confusion over how many or whether I’d published). I vote my mind in elections, my husband is my partner in marriage. What am I missing?

          1. Online, I get blocked quickly; in person, they tend to get hysterical pretty dang quick.

            The few that have tried it on me more than once quickly found out that I don’t back down after they’ve caused a scene, and that trying to drag my relatives in to control me backfires. Spectacularly. I’ll point out that it’s the second (third, etc) time they’ve made (claim), and last time they threw a fit when asked to support it/I gave counter-evidence.
            Usually I get to say that immediately after they accuse me of causing conflict for not agreeing with them.

            Stuff got a lot calmer at family reunions after the first few times I came back from the Navy to visit, and oddly enough a lot more relatives who somehow were never able to make it started showing up again….

            1. …trying to drag my relatives in to control me backfires.

              Heh. Anyone that drags me in to “control” CINCHOUSE will quickly find out I’m there to be her fire support. Literally if need be.

              1. Elf tends to make it clear that I’m way more polite than he is– and trying to get him to control me tends to make him ask what the other person had done, and his voice carries really well. And he doesn’t have any aunties they can call in to stop the fighting back. ^.^

                I love the mental image– “locked on target– NOW!”

          2. My sisters kept their last names too, but appended their husbands names, not hyphenated (dropped middle names). Both were established in their careers too.

            I kept my last name for school until I graduated (had already gone through 4 years, just had one term left), so my first degree is under my birth name. Ultimately, technically my full medical file is first, middle, birth name, married name, but for most legal things, my full legal signature drops the birth name. While we were in Longview (big town) went to the doctor and they’d pulled the wrong file, same middle initial. They pulled 9 more with the same middle name!!! They added my birth name to the file, which I know locally is not very common. Granted this was when everything was still paper file folders lined up behind the admittance desk. Now, you know why medical not only asks first/last name, but current residence, and birth date.

            I too have a life partner. What is the song? I don’t want someone to stand in front of me, behind me, above me , or below me. I want someone to stand beside me, partnership in everything.

            I remember one door-to-door sales, back when that was done, a very expensive nice vacuum. Got asked, “your husband” (it was 40 years ago) “wouldn’t ask you to buy tires for his truck, would he?” My response was “Damn straight he would. We don’t ‘need’ a fancy vacuum.” Granted the approach probably got a lot of last ditch sales back then, not from me.

          3. Regard feminists as your lords and masters and never diverge from what they tell you to do.

            Talks-With-Plants is kinda legend about here — a feminist whose most wild claim is that some women can communicate with plants and learn their properties. But among other wails is her complaint that women who seem ready for “radical feminism” draw back — that is, don’t agree with her about something.

            1. Wasn’t she the person who claimed women could “naturally” have children without men?

              1. Why yes. In her Utopia, women would be free to reproduce by parthenogenesis or with two female eggs.

        4. One of the lovely things about living in Mormonville is that the mid-sixties to mid-seventies ladies are pro children and pro skirts. They still ask (but so do the young folks) if my kids are a sibling group, and get embarrassed when I say they’re biologically mine, but you know, that doesn’t bother me: they’re trying so hard to be supportive of cross race adoptions they forget about mixed race families, and I try to always make it crystal clear that I’m not offended.

          1. GOOD– that kind of charity towards those trying to do the right thing is also very important. (And, to make an(other) obvious statement, a great rolemodel for your kids)

  8. Congratulations!
    I wish you many more.

    Also, what the frick? I limit my internet time to deal with the craziness of Christmas Break, then check in here to find things crazier than my kids!

  9. Happy Anniversary! My husband and I celebrated our 17th anniversary on Boxing Day. We had been living together for 7 years before he said “Why not make it legal?” so we’ve been together 24 years so far.

  10. Oops – sorry this Seventh Night song is so late …

    I must confess to recalling childhood Channukah dinners of pot roast with horesradish, latkes and apple sauce and had to take a nap to sleep off the remembered calories.

  11. Happy anniversary! I hope you had a relaxing evening. We hit 20 in June. No kids due to a variety of reasons and issues, but a bumpy, yet fun ride anyway.

  12. It’s nice to see someone celebrate a high number anniversary. Ms. Hoyt, happy anniversary to you and your significant other.

  13. It takes a heart of stone …

    IRS Goes After Hunter Biden For Over $112,000 In Unpaid Taxes
    The IRS placed a tax lien on Hunter Biden, and his ex-wife Kathleen Biden, for a whopping $112,805 in unpaid taxes, according to a report from the Daily Caller. Washington D.C. also placed a tax lien against Hunter Biden and his ex-wife for $48,929 in unpaid income taxes.

    Both of the tax liens were filed to collect taxes dating back to 2015. Shortly before 2015, Hunter Biden was appointed to the board of Burisma, a Ukrainian gas company, for which is was paid more than $700,000.


    Geeze, it seems he’d have been better off to simply admit paternity and ask how much child support would suffice.

    1. Soooo… the IRS is accusing Biden Jr. of not paying taxes on the bribes Trump is being impeached for investigating? Is that about the size of it?

      If you made this shit up, nobody would buy it.
      “Don’t open that!! It’s the original can of worms!”

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