The anti-hooman wave- A Blast From The Past from October 2012

The anti-hooman wave- A Blast From The Past from October 2012



Good morning oppressed children of story and plot; inglorious workers in the vine of words!  I bring portentous news.  Your brothers and sisters, the rodents, are on your side.

You probably thought the Rodent Liberation Front was merely a flourish of – running dog of literary imperialism and gender traitor – Sarah A. Hoyt’s imagination in Gentleman Takes A Chance.  You were wrong!  We exist.  Struggling and nibbling at the margins of society, we have formed our plan to take over the world one nut at a time.

This being so, it will not surprise you to know that we found it necessary to reclaim for the people the property heretofore known as According To Hoyt or Sarah A. Hoyt’s Blog.  First, because it was being self-evidently written by a nut, second because many of the regulars appeared to be nuts, third because it often strayed into the field of science fiction which is, you might call it, a nut rich environment.

Since our primary goal is the redistribution of nuts to those who grow them, harvest them, own them, steal them, we had to claim this blog as the glorious conquest of the RLF.

Now that the blog is ours we enjoy enjoin you to forget the nonsense about a human wave.  You will never be anything as individuals.  The purpose of the individual is to serve the greater good of the state.

Join the RLF.  Like us, you are oppressed and downtrodden.  Think of all the people who don’t like your books.  Think of the evil corporation Amazon who sells your book in mere electrons, instead of comforting paper.  Think of all the poor publishers, who shall perish without your work and money.

Like us you are fond of nuts.  You are our natural allies.  In the collective, you shall write exactly what we tell you to – think of the joy of not having to think for yourselves – and you shall be free to share your royalties with us.

The nuts, united, shall never be defeated.  Talent to those who don’t have it! Redistribute the benefits of the writing, not the writing work.

Together we shall win!

Squirrel Castro

PS -Ignore the thumpings from the basement.  Sarah A. Hoyt is securely tied fit to be tied enjoying a lovely time at a reeducation camp

167 thoughts on “The anti-hooman wave- A Blast From The Past from October 2012

        1. A computer programmer once told me that “lather, rinse and repeat” is a death sentence for a programmer, as it is an infinite loop without escape.

  1. >> “we found it necessary to reclaim for the people the property heretofore known as According To Hoyt or Sarah A. Hoyt’s Blog. First, because it was being self-evidently written by a nut”

    I went looking for a clip of Spock in Star Trek 4 deadpanning “The Hell you say” just so I could put it here in response. Sadly, I did not find one.

    1. “The hell I can’t.”

      There’s also the oh-so-precise ‘go to hell.’

      Which is still the absolute standard-setter of someone who is verbally picking up a phrase with a pair of tweezers and oh-so-carefully depositing the filthy thing in its place.

          1. So we should wish for Sarah to go to Hell, but only because we love her?

            [shakes head] Only in THIS place would that make sense…

              1. Since Sarah is also a Dragon, does that mean you are calling Sarah “silly”? 😈

                1. I thought she was a (space) princess? How can she be a dragon *and* a princess? Does that mean she kidnaps herself?

                  1. She’s a Evil (but beautiful) Space Dragon Princess.

                    As for Dragons & Princesses, all too often the Knight is rescuing the Dragon from the Princesses. 👿

                    Those Princesses can be more trouble than they’re worth.

                    As for Sarah, Dan recused the Knights from her. 😉

                  2. >> “How can she be a dragon *and* a princess? Does that mean she kidnaps herself?”

                    Yes. We’ll have to slay her to save her from herself, of course.

          1. The flamingos are pretty sane. As soon as they transform from plastic to living, they go fly off to the lagoons and ignore us all. Even Fluffy.

            1. My great uncle would pay kids swimming in the river to go to the property across the river from his, and move the flamingoes, so that when he looked out of his house, they were hid from view by the tree trunks.

      1. >> “just because Sarah is frequently right doesn’t mean she’s not a nut.”

        Oh, I know. I meant it sarcastically.

      2. One definition of “a nut” is a person who is publicly right about the wrong things, so yeah, she’s nuttier than a fruitcake.

        Although, as I am not sure fruitcake actually contains nuts (nobody ever seems to have eaten one*) perhaps I ought say she is nuttier than peanut brittle.

        *Sigh. I am imagining a scene in which intrepid hero has been captured by villains and tortured for information by force-feeding of fruitcake. “Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to retch.” Free to good home.

          1. I had a boss early in my working life who would make a Christmas gift of fruitcake made by his wife — absolutely delicious! So, while I share in your opinion that there is indeed such a thing as good fruitcake, I tolerate no burden of consistency when there is a jest to be cast.

          2. The kind made with honeybread, blackberries, almonds, peanuts, and blueberries I had the oncet has got to be in the top five- no three- I’ve eaten. Such beatific things come but rarely, though, and tracking down a proper recipe for just the right one can be… difficult.

            But there is always experimentation. *chuckle* I have heard of such things as bacon fruitcake, too.

            1. May I recommend Alt on Brown’s “Free Range Fruitcake”?


              My mother used to make these, and they were wonderful, once properly aged. Interestingly, they also last quite well too. For various reasons we’ve still got one of the last ones she made, and are planning on getting it well basted with brandy between now and Christmas for one last family round of Mom’s fruitcake.

              Just, don’t plan on driving much afterwards…

              1. Fruitcake, well made, lasts a long time. Once my mother was considering whether to make it this year and mentioned that there was still some left over in the back of the fridge from last year.

                It didn’t last twenty-four hours.

                She made more fruitcake.

            2. Whenever someone mentions Fruit Cake (not my favorite, no matter how good) I always think of E. Moon’s Vatta series Aunt Grace’s “family fruit cake”. The kind that no one eats until it is an absolute emergency starve or else, and “surprise”.

              1. “What’s the difference between Dwarf Bread and fruitcake?”

                “People always eat the fruitcake last.”

          3. Yes, the Collin Street Bakery fruitcakes ARE expensive but then the best often is.
            They haven’t changed anything about their fruitcakes except you can now get them sliced. There are very few food products that remain the same for over 50 years.

            They ship around the world.

            2035 S I-45
            Corsicana, Texas 75110


            the ~5 lb. is a little over $82 now.

            But if you GO there you can go to the side and buy seconds (without the tin) for less. Haven’t got a bad one yet.

            BTW: My Mother bought their fruitcakes to send to my Father while he was in Nam during his 2 tours back around 68. I have been buying their fruitcakes ever since. I went to Baylor, just a short drive.

            1. Isn’t that the place where one year (in the last decade or so) they couldn’t get their normal fruit mixture, and had to make a run that was the wrong proportions, and the outcry was so big (and the customer used so much…) that the folks who made the fruit mixture restarted it JUST for them?

          1. The Collins Street Bakery fruitcake catalogue arrived yesterday. They have a new chocolate strawberry pecan version that looks… evil. Rich, fudgey, nutty evil. In a can. To go with the apricot version that I looooooooooove. Why be led into temptation when it arrives in you r mailbox with a promise of free shipping for early buyers?

              1. Are you sure it wouldn’t be worth it?? Just a small piece, well maybe 3 or 4, to hell with it, it probably will not kill me. No you can’t have any!! MINE! Mine! My precious.

    1. I miss having a proper basement. When I was little we actually had a dirt root cellar with a cistern (that was cement) but the floor and even walls were dirt. I think that the house must have had corner foundations and the cellar was smaller than the house. There was a trap door and ladder but when my dad put a better stairway from the ground floor to second floor we kids could get under the stairs, crawl over the rocks in the crawl space and slide down a sort of dirt ramp (that wasn’t a ramp when we started, it just got that way).

      It was the perfect cellar to keep tied up prisoners.

  2. Hmmm…does the RLF have a lot of opportunities for advancement?I

    I’m willing to inform on a bunch of people.

  3. This is a message for the chipmunks that I’m willing to send them an entire case of Nutragrain bars if they’ll free Sarah.

    Sorry, Squirrel Castro, but I’m willing to bet that rodent solidarity only lasts until there’s an opportunity for some really yummy camping food.

    1. The aardvark wishes to remind you to use the proper mailing address. When it goes to the wrong one — well, we don’t even want to remember that.

    1. Now I’m imagining you as the Chick-Fil-La “eat more chicken” cow.

      …Hang on, exactly what DO you do for a living? [suspicious look]

            1. Did you just presume His . . er . . xer . . xim?
              Um. where was this going?
              Oh, Outrage! You presumed a cisgender for . . .sorry.

              !@#k it
              Your right, I met him. He’s not Holstein

        1. No, no. It’s an actual song.

          “Hot sauce dripping from their toes.
          Yuletide squirrels, fresh filleted by the choir,
          They pokes hot skewers through their nose..”

  4. Sigh!

    These RLFers are idiots.

    Sarah’s a Dragon and has already escaped from their prison.

    They are trapped by Her and don’t know it.

    Oh, the blog that they took over?

    It’s a Fake Blog set up years ago by Sarah & her minions just for idiots like them. 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈

      1. Well yes.

        Once upon a time there was this young dragon who attempted to sneak into another dragon’s cave to “borrow” from her hoard.

        To his shock he discovered that this older & wiser dragon was extremely cunning.

        IE The cave wasn’t her actual cave but was a trap for young dragons.

        Oh, she finally let him go. 😉

  5. I know RLF is ‘Rodent Liberation Front’ but having some interest in lower frequency stuff let’s see..

    LF 30 kHz – 300 kHz
    VLF 3 kHZ- 30 kHz
    ULF 300 Hz – 3 kHz
    SLF 30 Hz – 300 Hz
    ELF* 3 Hz – 30 Hz

    So is RLF (Ridiculously? Radically? Really?) Low Frequency band sub 3 Hz?

    * It amuses me that “Project ELF” supposedly used 76 Hz, up in the SLF band. And all that fuss about it… never mind that whopping 60 Hz radiation all over the place (or 50 Hz, in Other Places, yes).

      1. Isn’t human hearing, when good, from about 20 Hz to perhaps 20 kHz? “Communications grade” fidelity (good enough to be understood, but not good enough for proper music, etc.) is 300 Hz to 3 kHz, as I recall.

    1. Fed The Fred says ELF doesn’t exist, and all those news stories about the jobs its construction was bringing to our area are a mass hallucination.

      Especially when sensitive folks complained about hearing the noise from the damned facilities. (A minuscule portion of the population can hear in that range, and ELF comes across as an annoying droning)

      Nothing to see here. Move along.

      1. Hmm, Michigan UP, Humming. Does it by chance get worse at the full moon? And just in case, do you have access to a snow-thrower truck? 🙂

      2. >> “Especially when sensitive folks complained about hearing the noise from the damned facilities. (A minuscule portion of the population can hear in that range, and ELF comes across as an annoying droning)”

        Is that what televisions do when they’re on but not playing anything? Because I can hear that, and it IS annoying…

          1. That’s for PAL in Europe. Here in the US it’s 15,750 for NTSC video. Used to bug the everlovin’ SHIT out of me. Fortunately, LCDs don’t make that noise.

            I used to work at a TV station. Damn, I still remember the color subcarrier is eight cycles at 3.579545 MHz on the back porch of each horizontal sync pulse.

            1. I used to have to turn the volume up to hear the program over the noise of the flyback transformer.

              Nowadays the tinnitus drowns all that stuff out…

            2. Skimmed a page too fast. That frequency “felt wrong” but evidently not wrong enough. Next time I should go look it up in Grob (Basic Television) and be done.

              Oh yeah, when something was not just ‘singing’ a bit, but outright screaming. Back when, in school computer lab, everything supposedly off….

              “A monitor is on.”
              “No, everything is off.”
              * Walk to one particular monitor and shuts it off.
              “How did you know it on, and it was that one?!”
              “Couldn’t you hear it screaming?”

              1. It would annoy my parents when I got up and turned off the TV monitor during dinner but it was SO annoying.

        1. Anyone here remember way back in the ‘70’s,, when Noise Pollution was something folks worried about? Back before there were so many goddamn machines that talk but have nothing to say? Not to say *beep* peevishly at the slightest provocation.

          On a slight tangent, some Christmas season, when I’m feeling particularly nasty, I’m going to report Best Buy to OSHA. I’m sure that, with their car stereo display, and a full store, and that bare-to-the-rafters Big Box style that is so all-fired popular, they handily exceed the number of decibels allowable for a work area.


          1. Among the things in this world most certain is that politicians will never enact laws against noise pollution.

            Not without exempting themselves, at any rate.

            1. Nor place limits on the amount of hot air they spew. Shutting them all up would probably lower global temperature by at least a degree.

          2. Once upon a Christmas season I made the mistake of going to a large mall. Big crowd so PA was loud. PA was loud so crowd got louder so… on. Went to Sears, power tools section and bought earplugs. “Would you like a bag?” “No, thanks. I’ll be wearing them hear.”

          3. The one and only time I went into a Best Buy (1990s, in San Jose), I could only take the noise for 30 seconds before turning around and leaving.

            Guitar Center in SJ was occasionally loud, but not as obnoxiously as BB (usually 🙂 ), and the keyboard room was closed off enough to be useful. On the gripping hand, I preferred Guitar Showcase, an independent with a better selection of non-guitar goodies.

    2. I was taught LF and VLF as you show them, but then ELF = 10-30 KHz and that’s as low as it goes. Any frequency 30 km.

      1. I was taught LF and VLF as you show them, but then ELF = 10-30 KHz and that’s as low as it goes. Any frequency less than 10 KHz is not defined or regulated as radio, and would be impractical to use in any case since its wavelength would be greater than 30 km.

        [Had to repost because my first try used a less-than sign which seems to have caused WordPress to chop it off there.]

        1. It thought the rest of your post was part of an HTML tag, closed by the > you put ahead of ’30 km’. You can post the actual symbols < and > by using ampersand-l-t-semicolon and ampersand-g-t-semicolon.

          (Now to see if this works…)

        2. We have tech that uses single digit Hz. How can it not exist? I mean, granted, it’s not a human transmitted signal, but it is a received signal.

          1. Not as radio.

            Let’s skip over digital circuits.

            Basically: DC is 0 Hertz. It is constant or at least closely approximates constant enough for many purposes. AC power is a varying signal, but constantly, no message encoded onto it. Regular electrical components can be used in analog circuits that are not DC, but do their thing, whether power or message, at some frequency range. AC power is 50 or 60 hertz. As electromagnetic wave signals/circuits increase in frequency, the regular components and design assumptions stop working so well. But higher frequency means shorter wavelength, so you can build practical antennas that can transmit the signal into the air, and practical antennas to receive the signal. Radio. Most radio is a higher frequencies that need special components to make physical circuits, but the radiowaves work pretty well transmitted through the air. Then microwaves, infrared, visible light, ultraviolet, etc…

            Sound waves are a different sort of vibration, a purely physical vibration, but frequency is defined as cycles per second pretty much in the same way. EM signals on a circuit are fairly easy to convert to sound, speakers, and back to signal, microphones.

            Then we have the broader category of physical vibrations, such as propagate through solids. This is where we get into topics like the resonant frequency of the earth.

    3. In the ’70s rumors were going around that it would be 7Hz, the reputed resonant frequency of the earth. Ah, looking at the sources for the Infogalactic article on Project Sanguine (never-implemented ancestor of Project ELF.) brings up this article, and support for the 7 Hz (sounds like it was a SWAG that 7 Hz would have been chosen)..

      I never heard that Project ELF “never existed”. Interesting.

      1. It’s not actually a resonant frequency, it’s the lowest nodal frequency. The wave returning from traveling all the way around the planet at ground level is in phase with the source signal. Put another way, wavelength is equal the the Earth’s circumference.

        It requires an antenna tens or hundreds of miles square to produce usable signal strength.

        The application I’ve heard about is communication with submerged submarines.

      2. it wasn’t that it didn’t exist per say, but the facilities they built to use it (that got a ton of press in the early start of the project) are classified locations and now officially don’t exist, even if you hear them, and family worked on building the place. You certainly can’t submit a claim the noise annoys you and could the govt kindly assist you in relocating further away, as they would if they built an airbase and flew fighters just over your bedroom suddenly. Hell they bought out some folks who built AFTER the bases or airports were long in place.

  6. Where is Moose? You have located Squirrel, but there should be a Moose lurking around somewhere…

    Or did he get stuck in traffic on the way from Larry’s place?

    Remain vigilant until you find Moose!

      1. Moose has been repeatedly sighted in Utah, lurking around Larry Correia’s Evil Lair on Yard Moose Mountain. Is long trip from there to Sarah’s Place.

        Maybe Moose got lost? Reports say Moose not so bright.

        1. Overheard somewhere in Utah…

          Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky watch me pull a GPS out of this hat
          Rocky: Awww Bullwinkle you KNOW that trick never works…

          as a likely explanation.

        2. I wonder if some kind of “devil moose” is going to feature in the next episode of Monster Hunters?

    1. It got distracted when a woman began to write her name on it using a rather unconventional writing implement.

      Biting ensued, or so I was told.

      1. I was holding this for another purpose, but this opportunity is simply too irresistible:

        Woman bites camel’s testicles in bizarre truckstop showdown
        A Louisiana truck stop turned into a real zoo when a woman chomped down on a camel’s testicles while trying to retrieve her dog that scrambled into the dromedary’s den, according to a new report.

        The showdown between the woman, who wasn’t identified, and Caspar the camel, a roadside attraction, happened Thursday at a truck stop in Gross Tete, about 20 minutes outside Baton Rouge.

        The woman’s husband was tossing treats to their dog under Caspar’s fence, prompting the pup to crawl inside the enclosure, the Iberville Parish Sheriff’s Office told The Advocate Sunday.

        The couple followed after the dog — but the woman didn’t get very far before Caspar took a seat on top of her, crushing her. So she bit down on his genitals to free herself, she told police.

        “She said, ‘I bit his balls to get him off of me, I bit his testicles to get him off of me,’” Iberville Parish Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr. told the paper.

        An investigation revealed that the couple had provoked Caspar before he sat on the intruder.

        “The camel did nothing wrong,” Hamilton said. “[The couple was] aggressive. The camel was just doing its normal routine.”

        [END EXCERPT]

        1. Ya know, we couldn’t write this as fiction, because no one, and I mean no one, would believe it as a plot element. And it’s not even in Florida!

          1. *chuckle*

            There is a certain element of redneckery- and I daresay there are such in every state in the union- that takes the Chronicles of FloridaMan as a *challenge.*

    2. Be careful. My memory of that Universe is that saying, “Where is Moose?” greatly increases the chance of Moose landing on you in the next two seconds.

  7. second because many of the regulars appeared to be nuts

    I have been aggressed as you have assumed my form of insanity.

    I identify as a paranoid whack-job TYVM.

  8. As for the RLF coming after anything of mine, I’ll just point out I opened the kitchen door Saturday to find a chipmunk tail and right hind leg along with a very proud George (first thing he has brought us).

      1. Actually, I think he began life grabbed a lot. She still sometimes shys away when you go to pick him up, but once he realizes it is for affection he purrs up a storm. He is actually the most people oriented kitty I have had in a long time and given his big brother Sable will insist on being in the same room if all the people are in one that is saying something.

  9. All the world seems in tune on a Sunday afternoon, as we’re poisoning pigeons in the park….

  10. Sounds like an excellent time to break out the squirrel gumbo recipe. They will be served! Over rice! (Or cauli-rice, for the keto crowd… I’m sorry, but a proper roux really does require flour. So it won’t be completely keto. Some sacrifices are necessary, some are beyond the pale.)

    Because revenge is a dish best served steaming hot, and no matter how tough they think they are, a pressure cooker can take care of that!

        1. Design For Living?

          LOVE that movie!!!

          Gary Cooper, Frederic March & Miriam Hopkins — directed by Ernst Lubitsch! Adapted from a Noel Coward play by Ben Hecht!!

          Supporting actors include Edward Everett Horton, Franklin Pangborn and Jane Darwell (you’ll likely know her best for her performance as Ma Joad in John Ford’s adaptation of <IThe Grapes of Wrath.

  11. Oh blast! This reminds me that the RLF picks this time of year for Operation Occupy Subaru. Must check the usual places ASAP

    1. The latest set of spark plug wires got a good coating of hot sauce before installation. Don’t know that it’ll help, but I am hoping these don’t get chewed up. Had that happen twice now. A couple years apart, but still…

      1. I had one chew the 4WD transfer motor lead a few years ago. Quite annoying.

        Since the vehicles are in a garage, we keep the hoods up on the vehicles (mice never bother with the tractor; not so easy to get to). That helps with engine compartment stuff, but in a Forester, it’s easy for a field mouse to get through passages by the back tires and into the compartment in back. After that, it’s mousetopia. One got into the heater ducts one year; made winter driving a flagrant fragrant experience.

        I bait in the garage (TomCat bait FTW), which helps, and they aren’t fond of the bagged Febreze “freshener” that’s in the main mouse cubbyhole. We’re not fond of it either, but it smells marginally better than mouse pee.

        We’re also in deer mouse habitat, which means hantavirus. We were told that the widower we bought our place from lost his wife to hantaV, so we’re cautious. I’ve seen one expired deer mouse, but they seem to avoid the vehicles. Fortunate, since the buggers can jump.

        1. I’ve found that mice like the top of the gas tank just under the hood in my bobcat tractor. However, a sixteenth of an inch of grease seems to work just fine keeping them off it; and it never gets hot enough to be a fire problem there. Just have to occasionally scrape it off and reapply when it gets too dirty.

          1. The garden tractor engine is either too hot or too cold to be attractive to mice. It cools off quickly, so in fall, it’s not good shelter. The compact utility Deere is unattractive. It’s either dusty or has a diesel film (or both).

            The Honda can get critters in the engine compartment, but it doesn’t have the mouse-friendly access points. Still, I’ve learned that any emergency food has to be kept in sealed, mouseproof containers.

            The hood trick is popular around here, at least for anybody who has a garage or good carport.

      2. Problem is a bunch of companies went to a more “environmentally friendly” form of plastic, probably made from corn, which the rodents just love to munch on.

        1. Mine like some fiber stuffing from upholstery, and the old Chevy pickup used to get fiberglass nests in the air filter box. Had to apply 1/4″ hardware cloth, and I still had a mouse that tried to set up housekeeping in the air duct. Winter tire season (Nov 1) always includes a mouse inspection, but the Honda pickup is mouse free. So far.

    1. we have ninja squirrels in the front yard trees. I have never seen them, but my doggies assure me that they are there

      1. When the grey squirrels aren’t chewing the tops of trees, they’ll try to hit us with thrown pine cones. Makes cleaning up around the trees a bit interesting.

  12. Power to the Individual!

    I am a Progressives worst nightmare, a thinking voter; who, of course, will blow up in their faces on election day.

    “I’m a thirty-second bomb! “I’m a thirty-second bomb! Twenty-nine!…Twenty-eight!…Twenty-seven!—” *

    * Robert A. Heinlein, “Starship Troopers”

    1. If you just want to make them jump by quoting numbers, could as well poke in already growing fear —
      «They want 1984? They’ll get 1984.
      Ronald Reagan 525 : Walter Mondale 13» 😂

  13. I’m not sure if this thing is serious, but I just saw a PSA ad with a spokes woman doing a pitch for ‘at the current rate of progress … 208 years…’ something to do with equality, I think male-female. My immediate thought was that even if I didn’t distrust framing and data collection, the combination of measuring people and the time scale alone would mean garbage. So the innumeracy of the lady is itself an argument for diminished female mental capacity and hence perhaps fewer rights deserved. Of course, a sample size of one is also garbage.

Comments are closed.