You’ll Need An Elephant Gun to Stop This Sale

But why would you want to?

Three Mysteries, three dollars.  Is the family driving you insane? For three days you can buy three mysteries very cheaply and withdraw to a world that’s supposed to be insane.

Meet Dyce Dare, 99c a piece.  (And yes, sequels and audio on the way.)

Dipped, Stripped and Dead

 

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A Dyce Dare Mystery
When she was six, Dyce Dare wanted to be a ballerina, but she couldn’t stop tripping over her own feet. Then she wanted to be a lion tamer, but Fluffy, the cat, would not obey her. Which is why at the age of twenty nine she’s dumpster diving, kind of. She’s looking for furniture to keep her refinishing business going, because she would someday like to feed herself and her young son something better than pancakes.
Unfortunately, as has come to be her expectation, things go disastrously wrong. She finds a half melted corpse in a dumpster. This will force her to do what she never wanted to do: solve a crime.
Life is just about to get crazy… er… crazier. But at least at the end of the tunnel there might be a relationship with a very nice Police Officer.

A French Polished Murder (Daring Finds Mysteries Book 2)

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When Dyce Dare decides to refinish a piano as a gift for her boyfriend, Cas Wolfe, the last thing she expects is to stumble on an old letter that provides a clue to an older murder. She thinks her greatest problems in life are that her friend gave her son a toy motorcycle, and that her son has become unaccountably attached to a neurotic black cat named Pythagoras. She is not prepared for forgotten murder to reach out and threaten her and everything she loves, including her parents’ mystery bookstore.
A Dyce Dare Mystery.
Originally published by Prime Crime.

A Fatal Stain (Daring Finds Book 3)

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When Dyce Dare buys a table to refinish, the last thing she expects is to find a human blood stain under the amateurish finish. Whose blood is it? What happened to the person who bled on the table?
Helped and hindered by her fiance, Cas Wolfe, her friend Ben, her son E and an imaginary llama named Ccelly, Dyce must find the killer and the victim, before the killer finds her.
A Dyce Dare Mystery.
Originally Published by Prime Crime

37 responses to “You’ll Need An Elephant Gun to Stop This Sale

  1. Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard

    driving you insane?

    I need somebody to drive me sane. 😈

    • The gates of hell are open night and day;
      Smooth the descent, and easy is the way:
      But to return, and view the cheerful skies,
      In this the task and mighty labor lies.
      ― Virgil,

  2. Christopher M Chupik

    Well, that’s one way to deal with the elephant in the room.

  3. Wait! What? A gun that fires elephants? Little tiny ones or does it launch full-grown tuskers at the target?

    For those unaware, all of these are excellent mystery tales, filled with the customary Hoytian assortment of odd ducks.

  4. All I got is an effalump gun. will that do?
    I do have a few handloads for my 1889 Schmidt-Rubin, but all that’d do is make elephant mad. The 7.62×51 Mauser would do an elephant if it was just right, and an escape was well planned and infallible. Popping a pachyderm with a .308 does NOT sound like the wisest move.
    just sayin’

  5. Rigi Bernardi just proved once again that there is no such thing as overkill when a 500 kg herbivore stumbles into one’s back yard and there are small children present. Especially when the beast is pursued by a starving apex predator (not human or Staré).

    Yes, a fifth Shikari book ambushed me.

  6. Merry Christmas to me everybody! Just bought those, and picked up Darkship Revenge.

    Ma Nature gave us a couple inches of very wet snow. Yippie! Water!

  7. To quote the least google-like Marx:

    “Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

    How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”

  8. Elephant got caught in my pajamas–too tight for me and him from all the Christmas cookies, etc. Merry Christmas

  9. Oh, and I’m sure most here will enjoy this:

    Mery Christmas, Y’all . . errrr. . .Yousguys!
    I forgot I ain’t in Texas anymore . . . need to use Eh and Yousguys

    • The prodding might seem silly, but… squirrels.
      It’s amazing that, once upon a time, me & mine did NOT end up with a story that would have been Fark-worthy had there been Fark back when. Flame Trees of Thika had ‘recently’ played on Wisconsin Public Television and… there was at least one Flame Tree of Wisconsin… and a squirrel in (non-flying) flight at Immense and Intense Speed. Why no, I did NOT have a “normal” childhood… and I was NOT the instigator or precipitor.

      Also:
      1. It was was Years and Years and Year ago.
      2. It was in another state,
      3. And he’s been dead for (let’s see..) 7+ years now.
      4. Even the place that didn’t burn down has been gone a few years now.
      5. There is no five. So there.

  10. I’ve read all the Dyce Dare books so far, I really like them! Can’t wait for future installments, should the Story Fairy make it all possible. Meanwhile, please have a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season, every one!

  11. Oh, good, three days. The brain is not up to figuring out which ones I’ve already bought, and which ones I read with KU. Boxing Day may find me somewhat coherent… (No, the signed MPBs are going to be very briefly fondled and then wrapped up to go with my one first edition Oz book.)

    Anyway, a Merry Christmas, Happy (after) Hannukah, Festive Festivus, oh, heck, a very good and relaxing time to all of you for the next two weeks (and through the coming year). I’m pretty sure that none of you are the idiot in my neighborhood who apparently thinks we celebrate Christmas with fireworks at midnight. HIM – well, coal is about to go where the sun will not shine in the morning.

    • He may be from Texas; that’s a tradition here. One of the signs of increasing Californication is that it’s getting rare.

  12. I actually have an elephant gun. CZ550 Safari in .458 WinMag. It’s for keeping Deere & feral CATs out of my yard.

  13. Merry Christmas to Sarah and her family.

    Wassail to all the Huns!

  14. Alright. I bought all three. It’ll be nice to have them again since all my books were in a storage unit that got auctioned off.

    Oh, and, uhh…

    I’m following Ms. Hyatt on Amazon now. If I don’t get a notification about her releasing a new book soon, I might just be forced to tell everyone that she’s a horrible stinky-toes.

  15. I have all 3 of these already. I thoroughly enjoyed them. They’re fun – and insane – books. Thank you so much for them, Sarah.