Those You’re Responsible For

I’ve been heckled by friends into reading the Jordan Peterson book, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos I haven’t read all of it yet, but I’ve read half and skimmed the rest.

So… is it helpful?  Weirdly, yes.  Look, I even get the title.  I don’t know if you guys realize this, but we live in one of the most unstructured eras in human history.  The result of throwing out all the old rules wasn’t so much freedom as what they like to call “the anomie of modern life.”  One of the people that Peterson describes in the book is so chaotic that she “thinks she might have been raped” FIVE times.  FIVE TIMES.  She can’t tell if she was, because she can’t tell if she wanted to do this or not, or even exactly what happened and what was a dream.

I was talking to a young friend yesterday and we agreed (I think.  It was a fragmentary conversation online) that part of the problem people have getting their lives in order is knowing what they really want to do and what people expect them to do.  By which I don’t mean “social rules.”  It’s that this weird chaos, devoid of manners or morals, does in fact have a lot of “you should” particularly when judged by the people who look down on universal morals and rules.

For instance, it is bad to hold onto the morality of not sleeping around or really sleeping with anyone outside of marriage.  I mean, a lot of the people in other times didn’t even hold to that.  They slept together when they were “merely” engaged.  OTOH any young people today has internalized that they need to at least lie about sleeping with a lot of people.  Because heaven forbid you are in a monogamous relationship and have never slept with anyone else, or, gasp, a virgin past you middle teens.  If you confess to that, everyone will know you’re weird and repressed and stuff, right?  (BTW the whole idea of repression and sublimation being bad for you is one of those Freud things that doesn’t seem to have any basis in the real world.)

So the modern world has not rules, but a lot of expectations, some of which are objectively bad for you, like “Women should sleep around as much as men [in outdated movies and books.]” (This is objectively bad because most women don’t want to sleep around that much and most women don’t want sex without consequences, on account of the hormones released during sex creating attachment.  Yes, there are exceptions for everything, but how weird is it that a woman should feel guilty because she doesn’t WANT TO sleep around?)

Anyway, part of the book’s concept is that “if it feels good do it” is an awful way to live your life, since objectively, in most situations, what feels good at that moment is not what brings you long-lasting happiness.  And since “if it feels good do it” comes close to being the only universal law of behavior in our society, we’re in trouble.

I haven’t finished reading it yet.  I skimmed and am going back to read slowly and carefully.  But one thing I read might come to save my life.  No, seriously.  And the weird thing is that it’s something I knew.  Of course I knew it.  But he put it in words where I can’t avoid it.

It’s I THINK rule 2 on self care.  And yes, I realize that me talking about self-care is like a fish talking of the joys of flying through air.  But that’s the whole thing, and why it’s important.

The way he put it was something like this “Treat yourself as you’d treat someone you loved who was utterly dependent on you.”  So, you know, would you let a child under your care work 18 hours a day and not rest, or eat, because it’s something that interests them?  Uh… been there, done that and no.

Would you let a child you love under your care just play all the time and learn/accomplish nothing?  Uh, no.

Would let a child under your care eat only candy because it makes them happy?  And so on and so on.

If I were a child under my care, I’d alternate between long, unrelieved work to rival sweatshops, not exercising because “tired, don’t feel like it” and eating lots of wrong things because “it’s been a long day.”

IOW, I’m a lousy caretaker to myself.  And seeing myself as someone I have “responsibility” for, as though I were an external person makes it all different.  I don’t think I’m “selfish” for not working night or day, or for treating myself well “let’s go for a little walk” when there’s other stuff to do, or even for eating the better for me, but more troublesome to make food because “I need to take care of this person.”

Maybe some of you need that too.

BTW on one thing, I found I’m way better than average, and that shocked me.  I’m lousy at medicating, and now that I’m on thyroid meds twice a day and can’t forget without dire issues, I have two alarms on my phone.  Anywhere I am when the afternoon alarm goes (even in the middle of a panel) I stop and take my meds.  I always thought I was still very bad at this, because occasionally I am so busy I turn off the alarm and forget.

Guess what the average rate of compliance for meds is?  Even for lifesaving meds?  Yep, 20%.

Whoo whoo, I’m not the worse.  But it means there’s a lot of people out there worse than I.

Which means maybe even some of you need this.

Take care of yourself.  If you don’t have yourself, who do you have?  And also, if you neglect yourself enough, you’re only guaranteeing you become a burden to someone in your old age.  We’re better at making people live longer, not better at keeping them healthier while they do so.

Remember that.  Take care of yourself as though you were someone you loved.

 

283 responses to “Those You’re Responsible For

  1. Take care of yourself as though you were someone you loved.
    Much like the idea that if you should love your neighbor as yourself, you have to love yourself (in the right way) first.

    And, of course, put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child. Yep.

    • That’s not a command to hate your neighbor. 😀

    • You put the oxygen mask on yourself because in a loss of all pressure you have like thirty seconds at altitude before you pass out. By the time you get that mask on, the kid is likely passed out. You put the mask on the kid and you’re both fine. You try to put the mask on a frightened, screaming kid and maybe you’ll get it done before you pass out, maybe you won’t. You very likely won’t be able to get both on before you do.

      He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

      • here here
        er
        Hear Hear

      • Yes, in the broader sense, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others (for whom you’re responsible, especially).

        • scott2harrison

          Or in the words of one of Hailey’s characters in “Airport”, “Take care of yourself FIRST!”. Because if you don’t you will be incapacitated and unable to take care of those you are responsible for.

      • It’s not just the passing out. Most folks who haven’t hit oxygen deprivation think about the blackout – but you’re non-functional long before then. Low-oxygen is very like hypothermia. You see, you only have an extremely short time until you devolve to derp, and the derp abides until the blackness comes. As in, literally sitting there trying to figure out how to move your fingers, and trying to remember what you were supposed to be doing with them anyway… and then you pass out.

        So in thirty seconds until blackout, you have maybe 10 seconds to see the mask, recognize the mask, remember you’re supposed to put it on, then grab the mask in a tumbling, chaotic environment, and put in on, followed by pulling the string.

        On the tumbling, chaotic environment – those masks generally don’t deploy at straight and level and dead-calm. There’s screaming, flailing, turbulence tossing things about, adrenaline singing in your veins and smoke dropping the visibility, panicked people shoving about in the aisles, often extremely loud roaring (a hole big enough to drop pressure past the bleed air pressurization has to larger than 12 inches, on the most part. Large holes or multiple small ones allow the slipstream to make a much, much louder version of how loud the car cabin gets when you roll down a side window three inches at highway speed.) It’s also likely frigid cold, because the jet levels are.

        And in that environment, you have ten seconds to recognize that things that just dropped down and slapped you in the face are masks, and that you need to put it on, and how to do so when you’ve ignored the pre-flight briefing for years, and never practiced the motions…

        And that’s why most people fail.

        • Doing the hyperbaric chamber exercises in flight school is fun. Assuming you enjoy having people watch you flail while you don’t remember a damn thing. You’d swear you completed the little questionnaire – except the last 5 questions just have odd stray marks all over them. You don’t recall losing control of your muscles, but the clipboard is down there, and the pencil is over that way, and your neighbor got punched in the mouth. If you have a good friend in the class, they will explain to you why you have a new callsign that everyone is using.

          Even more fun when they let the spouses visit, though. They get to watch that exercise through the viewports. Oh yes, nothing like giving your spouse ammunition to use later on – and you can’t even deny it.

          And all done with some measure of fun, so the very deadly lesson can be learned on the ground, in a controlled environment.

          BTW, it is possible for the masks to drop without a large hole in the fuselage. Just sticking the air exit valves open will lead to a loss of cabin pressure, without any excess noise or structural problems. That usually doesn’t happen in the air, though, and is noticed as you climb through 10,000 feet – and the cabin pressure goes right with the aircraft altitude.
          Those are the scary situations, since everyone assumes the masks must have just malfunctioned. No need to put them on. Wrong. If they drop, put them on.

        • So in thirty seconds until blackout, you have maybe 10 seconds to see the mask, recognize the mask, remember you’re supposed to put it on, then grab the mask in a tumbling, chaotic environment, and put in on, followed by pulling the string.

          It ought be noted that users of CPAP and APAP devices have an inherent advantage in this process, having already developed the muscle memory for putting the mask on while not entirely conscious.

        • Friend of mine was a Coast Guard helicopter pilot. He drove the flight school people nuts. Had a lung and O2 efficiency so high that they couldn’t get any of the normal reactions out of him in the altitude chamber. Other guys were passing out, or going all giggly and couldn’t do crap, and he was still able to do everything and follow all the commands perfectly.

          Yet his daughter had CF, so he must have been a carrier. Go figure.

      • once upon an airplane ride, my mask deployed upon initial hard touchdown.
        I immediately masked. Then, I realized I had the only one. Impact opened the unsecured panel, not lack of air.. After a minute, I removed it.

        As I left the plane, an attendant said “good job with the mask.”

      • And before you pass out, you get really stupid. A single training session in an altitude chamber (or using the new mask-where-they-turn-the-O2-level-down trainers that don’t need a chamber) will educate one on just how stupid one _will_ quickly get absent oxygen concentrations that happen at the surface.

        Put Your Mask On First.

        • Just refreshed the page and I see above where Dorothy Grant went into lots more detail, backed up by others.

          Bottom line: If you see a mask, put it on right now.

        • And if anyone still doubts this, here’s video of one of those training sessions, so you can see for yourself how lack of O2 can make you really stupid while you still think you’re functioning at okay levels:

          Whenever I sit through one of those safety briefings and they get to the part about “Put on your own mask before helping others,” I think, “Four of spades, four of spades”.

          • And it’s a good thing you’re wearing your helmet in there. We had some folks turn into wet noodles and smack their noggins. (Who thinks it’s a good idea to put clipboards with metal clips behind someone’s head when they’re getting hypoxic?)

  2. I finished it last night, after stopping to pet a cat who I met while out walking (Rule #12). There’s a lot of interesting stuff, a lot had me squirming because “yes, I need to stop doing that,” and a lot needs to be reviewed and chewed over.

    The power of story really comes through the book. Not just because he’s a Jungian, but because that’s how we make our world, and he acknowledges that. Peterson values story.

  3. Someone, I don’t remember who, once said that it is easier to do your duty to others than to do your duty to yourself. When you do your duty to others, society says you are caring and compassionate and a good person. When you do your duty to yourself, society says you are selfish and not good.

    The thing is, duty to oneself is still duty and needs to be observed. Indeed, you can’t most effectively do your duty to others if you don’t take care of yourself first. If you don’t care for yourself, you are far less able to care for others.

    So go and do your duty to yourself.

    IOW, do as I say, not as I do. 😉

    • My husband has that problem – won’t take care of himself, but will continue to help others.
      Me, I’m like a cat – ME first. Then, maybe you.

  4. a lot of “you should” particularly when judged by the people who look down on universal morals and rules.

    For the Tile Monitors of the world, this is a feature, not a bug. They look down on universal morals and rules because those can be known and that defeats their little game of “Bzzzzzt, WRONG tile!”

    • Fully agree RES! I went to Catholic school, and most people scoff at all the rules in the Baltimore Catechism, but I loved it when they gave me the rule book. Now I had an authority to confront the often arbitrary rules of the nuns.

      • *snickers* That’s probably why so many folks don’t like giving out the rule book….

        Less thinking of the nuns, than the various aunties that I dealt with who thought the Word of God lined up with their personal judgement, and in the case of conflict, the Word was to move.

        • SheSellsSeashells

          My high school BFF was a devotee of Bill Gothard, a rules-driven Christian speaker from the 70s and 80s, and dragged me to a few of his seminars. I was amused that he could transition seamlessly between “The Bible is inspired and inerrant and never to be questioned” and “Jesus didn’t REALLY turn water to wine, because fermentation is a process of death and God is a God of life, so the Bible TOTALLY meant grape juice”.

          • Fermentation is a process of death? I guess the person never heard of what yeast is.

          • Yeah some of my fellow Baptists are rather amusing on that point. But looking at the wedding at Cana not only did He make wine, but it was wine so good that the house steward asked why it hadn’t been served first (as one served the best first while the guests were all sober 🙂 ).
            And of course any juice in a warm climate without refrigeration soon ferments and then heads quickly to vinegar. And of course the drink at the last supper was wine as that is what is prescribed for the Passover (seder) meal. Implying otherwise is just kind of silly.

            • Somewhat related:

              Initially I did not fully grasp the import of such a discovery. It was only when I vetted the scientific literature on alcoholic beverages in prehistory that I realized the Monte Kronio samples represented the oldest wine known so far for Europe and the Mediterranean region. An incredible surprise, considering that the Southern Anatolia and Transcaucasian region were traditionally believed to be the cradle of grape domestication and early viticulture. At the end of 2017, research similar to ours using Neolithic ceramic samples from Georgia pushed back the discovery of trace of pure grape wine even further, to 6,000-5,800 B.C.

              This idea of the “oldest wine” conveyed in news headlines captured the public’s attention when we first published our results.

              But what the media failed to convey are the tremendous historical implications that such a discovery has for how archaeologists understand Copper Age Sicilian cultures.

              https://theconversation.com/prehistoric-wine-discovered-in-inaccessible-caves-forces-a-rethink-of-ancient-sicilian-culture-89116

          • Oy….
            That annoys me all the more because there’s actually a half-decent argument based on “they didn’t have a term for ‘grape juice,’ because grapes so quickly went bad, but His wine didn’t go bad.” Maybe something about the “new wine” and old wineskins thing worked in there, too.

      • one non-artbitrary rule at my high school was “no D&D books” because well.. She Who Shall Not Be Named had put the Fear of Lawyer into Dr Bracey. To prove how artibrary i thought it was, i carried Gamma world books, Marvel superheroes books, etc etc.. but they weren’t, technically, D&D books.

    • Isn’t that a way to be sadistic while affecting noble intentions.

  5. Unfortunately, Take care of yourself as though you were someone you loved isn’t an option right now. It just is.

    On rules: Here I’m blessed to be Rural Southern and from a religious background, because both have clear-cut rules. On the Southern part, there are things you must and must not do, lest your ancestors rise up and get you (if they don’t head to the polls from long habit). On the religious part, there are more clear-cut things. Not unusual for Rural Southern, but it does make the idea of no rules, or rules at contrary to our raising downright alien. It also has a strong idea that Hollywood and the rest of the media’s idea of values can pound sand.

    Will go out on a limb and suggest the same holds for Rural Northern, Rural Midwestern, and Rural Western. Would be interesting to hear from them on this.

    • And Anywhere Texan. Except Austin.

    • Less certain about the rural/location part of things–because going by the locals in my *extremely* rural part of Wyoming, the policy appears to be “Do anything BUT teach your children how to be responsible functioning adults” such that at least 80% of the kids graduate, attempt college, and flunk out/drop out and come back to the insular, horrible little valley and become drunks. (Not all of them do. But what feels like a disturbingly high number do. Am grateful that, on the whole, my younger sibs aren’t falling into that category–though it’s been damn close for one of them–but then again, they haven’t lived here for six generations.) Trade schools would probably help, but the only one I know of (for car mechanics) is insanely expensive and also has a bad reputation for turning out alcoholics. Otherwise, the local industry, such as it is, is ranching.

      Also, in a class of (maybe) twelve kids…there were at least two claiming they were transgender as of a couple years ago. But ‘rural culture’ here really does translate to: a large chunk of parents spend all their time at either work or the bars, and kids are left to think this is how one adults. And also to be raised by teachers that, even here, were thoroughly steeped in the lefty indoctrination.

      I’d agree on the fairly strong religious background thing–but it comes down to whether or not the individual in question’s faith is strong enough to compel them to stick to the rules, or the social pressure is high enough to compel them to do the same. Here, there’s not enough population for social pressure, alas…

      • Huh. Granted I don’t meet many kids, but the ones that I’ve met in WY have almost all seemed pretty responsible. Most of them have seemed to lean much more Conservative. There are still a few Bernie bumper stickers and some that do lean Left. (They also seem to be from Colorado).

        I’m only on Chapter 2. Dr Peterson is a frequent guest on Louder With Crowder and I’ve enjoyed listening to him speak when he’s on the show.

        Does Peterson remind anyone else of Joseph Campbell or is it just me?

        • > Does Peterson remind anyone else of Joseph Campbell or is it just me?

          I had not noticed it, but now that you mention it — yes, he does. Not physically so much, but in terms of verbal intensity.

          • That and the topics he is covering. I need to finish Peterson’s book then have another round or 2 of Campbell. I haven’t read Hero for a few years and watching ‘The Power of Myth’ on DVD is a good way to spend a snowy weekend.

            Just need to stop playing the stupid zombie game I bought and go back to doing something productive. (Dying Light) Zombies and parkour!

        • I suspect the kids from WY you met are the ones who actually escaped, so I agree they would indeed be both more responsible and lean Conservative. 🙂

      • We’re all over the map in our area. Areas with active churches and ranch/small business families seem to do well, but then there’s the booze and drugs in others. OTOH, the bad areas tend to be predictable, and one can take measures when necessary. The citified areas west of us, not so much.

      • My cousin got in a homeschooler fight just this morning– about pajama bottoms (the fuzzy kind) worn as outer-wear, of all things.

        The blogger lady commented roughly “holy cow, you’re DELIBERATELY going out in public in fuzzy pajama bottoms, to the extent of matching your earrings to your pants?” and a wide range of folks from “eh, at least it’s not those may-as-well-be-naked leggings” through “dang, I feel bad if I go out without lipstick!”… and then someone laid into her because “we all” tell our kids to “do your own thing” and “don’t care what others think” and so on.

        Cousin is rather familiar with the kind of psychotic using that tends to grow from really doing that, and disagreed. At length.

        So I’ve been chewing over it in my head all day, and now you mention the whole “everything but teach them to be responsible adults”… I think they’re related.

        Both ends of it are going to make people who are anything but responsible adults; one is controlled by the loudest troll, the other has no feed-back mechanism.

        • If you’re in WalMart, at 4am, buying a gallon of PediaLite and Vicks VapoRub and carpet cleaner, I’m ok with pajama bottoms in public.

          If you’re in WalMart, at 4am, buying a gallon of wine and Doritos and carpet cleaner… well… I’m going to try not to judge… but yeah, I’m gonna judge.

          If you’re rolling into work at 8am? Oh hell no.

          • For the “buying Vic’s and pedilite” example, I might buy you a jug of wine…..

            • Honestly, though, I could be that person in the second example, particularly before a major holiday. I often marinade turkey in wine. And if I’m having people over chips of some kind and carpet cleaner (the d*mn cats) would be indicated. And I’d be completely puzzled if I caught dirty looks.

              • ….would you NOTICE dirty looks at 4AM when there’s a big enough disaster that you’re at the store in your fuzzy jammies?

                • The only way I’d be at the store in my fuzzy jammies would be if I got locked out of the house, and was meeting the person with keys at the store. (Has happened. The happy slappy years of toddler raising. You know them, right?)

                  • That is why the first thing in ANY PAIR OF PANTS that I put on is the house key that is zip-tied to the car key.

                    Yes, this includes PJs. Yes, it is a Father-Brown-with-his-umbrella level fuss.

                    Didn’t have to wait for someone to bring the keys, did have to display acrobatics unsuited to my age and/or build.

      • It’s more a local subculture thing, with variables of economic opportunity, opportunity cost, proximity to larger cities, and age of population, I think.

        There are areas in Appalchia that are very effed up. Coal fields packed up and left along with the majority of local businesses, high opportunity cost (if you miss it, it’s gone *forever* and you don’t get another one- that’s the feeling, and it breeds apathy if all the trying gets you is failure). There’s little to no bleed over into larger towns, and the population is both old and very young at the same time. Everyone working age is either useless or gone.

        In such places you can actually feel the rot. These are not healthy communities. They are dying.

        The thing is, I know people from such places. They get away, most of them bloody *thrive* once they start making accomplishments: Got a job. Got a paycheck. Paid bills and *actually have a bit left over.* Some of them, they work like the possessed, driven to three or more jobs at a time. They’ve been low, and they don’t want to go back, ever.

        And they won’t, because accomplishment breeds more accomplishment. Once you’ve done a thing, you know you *can* do it, so it becomes easier to do it again. It’s a powerful thing, that freedom and responsibility.

      • scott2harrison

        Agree, sort of, on the religious background thing. The problem is that most (I believe) of the mainline Christian religious groups INCLUDING THE CATHOLICS are anything but Christian these days. They are progressives masquerading as Christian. That sort of religious background does you no good at all.

        • Mrm… hard to say. I would say that most denominations, including Catholics, consist of some people who are fairly conservative, some people who are fairly progressive, and the people inbetween. The problem is that, unless a significant number of people in the denomination are actively heading right, a lot of the undertow is washing people toward the left.

          Catholics have included a significant number of lefties since… mm, the late 1800’s, maybe? But they were mostly on the QT back then, because the Vatican had every reason to distrust socialism, Communism, et al. They got pretty big behind the scenes, especially in Catholic universities, and taught a lot of kids a lot of crap. So suddenly, during Vatican II, all the lefties made their move, and things got weird. Just like in basic training, you can make people swallow a lot of stuff if you break down their surroundings and yell at them a lot from the pulpit.

          Since then, there’s been a lot of back and forth between right and left, often but not always between traditionalism and progressivism. The problem for the left is that, if you study any Catholic subject in any fullness, you are bound to find out that leftism and leftist Catholicism are crap. So the solution is that lefties keep turning Catholic education into “keep kids stupid.”

          But a lot of Catholics keep finding out, and getting angry at the lefties when they do. As long as there’s any version of Catholicism in evidence, there’s a lot of ways to get out of the leftist maze.

          I think this is true for a lot of denominations. If Jesus Christ is your path, you are eventually going to get somewhere good, even if people are constantly lying to you or telling you erroneous information that they themselves believe.

          But there’s a hard slog ahead of everyone.

          • The problem for the left is that, if you study any Catholic subject in any fullness, you are bound to find out that leftism and leftist Catholicism are crap. So the solution is that lefties keep turning Catholic education into “keep kids stupid.”
            But a lot of Catholics keep finding out, and getting angry at the lefties when they do. As long as there’s any version of Catholicism in evidence, there’s a lot of ways to get out of the leftist maze.

            This is why EWTN is such a big target, isn’t it?

            My goodness, but listening to Catholic Answers Live can be a heck of an educational experience– a lot of “wait, I was never taught that!” calls.

        • One big problem is what the denominational leaderships do vs. what the ordinary believers do. I saw that in spades when I worked in Really Flat State. Directives came down from the District and Regional Confrences that we were supposed to have certain social justice Sundays, and so we had fancy bulletin inserts and someone read “an important message” from the District Superintendent and then we went on with the lectionary readings and the usual liturgy. The congregation did a lot of community outreach and assistance, but not “social justice” as defined from above. Rural farm towns in the Midwest are not exactly overflowing with visible minorities, unless you counted Vikings fans in Wisconsin or something.

      • The ones you’re talking about are what my WV daddy used to call “White Trash”. They’ve always been there, they are just now getting “positive” feedback from Trash TV.
        Rural with morals are likely regular church-goers.

    • black flag corsair

      As a Rural Southerner also, I think that is a good explanation. Baptists certainly have a strong sense that there are rules.

    • I think the family cultures that encourage it may tend to be rural– just because the downsides of failure to self-sacrifice show more clearly in rural areas, so it’s HARDER to break down.

    • “Your ancestors rise up and… head to the polls?”
      I thought only Democrats in Chicago did that, or really weird LC MHI zombies.

  6. BTW, just to get this out of the way before the Grammar Trolls arrive in force: Shouldn’t the title of this be “Those For Whom You’re Responsible”?

    • No. The rule about no final prepositions was imported from the Latin and sits oddly in Germanic languages. If you observe it you sound stilted.

    • There are two grammatically regular cases in which English sentences end with prepositions: (1) the object of the preposition is a relative or interrogation pronoun that has been moved to earlier in the clause, leaving the preposition at the end (as in Mark Twain’s question, “Once you learn correct English, who you going to speak it to?”) and (2) the preposition is actually the seond part of a two-word verb and doesn’t have an object following ing (as in “Sit down and shut up”).

      If it’s not one of those cases, then yes, the preposition needs an object and the object usually should come after it. But those are pretty big exceptions.

      A young man from Texas was admitted to Harvard. On his first day there, he went out to explore the campus, and getting turned around, he addressed an older student: “‘Scuse me, where’s the library at?”
      The older student answered,, “At Harvard, one does not end a sentence with a preposition.”
      The young Texan said, “‘Scuse me, where’s the library at, asshole?”

      • While I laugh at that joke, I really am perturbed when I hear “Where are you at?” It’s not just ending a sentence with a preposition, it’s *redundant*. The “at” is thoroughly unnecessary.

        /rant

        • My moms response to me on that question was always “behind the preposition ‘at'”.

        • If it helps, in many conversations, it’s often a request to clarify: I’ve heard plenty of people think “Where are you?” is perfectly acceptable to answer with intended destination or activity, or who need prodding to revise their estimated time of arrival.

          “Where are you?”
          “I’m going to the library.”
          “Yeah, but where are you at?”
          “Oh! I’m at Parking Lot 3, looking for an open space!”
          “Thought so! Come back around to Parking Lot 2B. back by the trees; I’ve got two free spots. I’ll double-park until you get here.”

          “Hey, dude, where are you?”
          “I’m in a traffic jam!”
          “You were supposed to meet me for dinner ten minutes ago! Where are you at?”
          “I’m stuck on Lake Shore Drive, about half a mile from the exit! I’m not going to be there for at least another half an hour. Go on and eat without me!”
          “It’s okay! They’re running fourty five minutes until a table opens – catch me in the bar when you get here!”

          “Where are you?”
          “Grocery shopping. Why, what’s up?”
          “Yeah, but where are you at?”
          “Oh! Fresh Market.”
          “Rock on! Can you pick up some of the bay city sourdough at their deli for me while you’re there?”
          “Sure thing!”

          • Ooh. I had not realized that and am fascinated.

          • And the ever unpopular, “Where are you?”
            “In my car.” or “At home.”
            Along with “What are you doing?” ‘Talking to you.”

          • “At” in those instances being synonymous with “at this moment in time”

            It’s a good thing we don’t have time travel. It would become an overly tense situation.

          • I don’t think I have ever in my life heard that particular distinction being made. It certainly wouldn’t occur to me to make it that way; to my grammar sense, the words “here,” “there,” and “where” are substitutes for “at ,” so “where are you at?” retroparses for me to “you are at where” and then to “you are at at ,” which is redundant. Saying it would be like biting on foil. If I needed the more specific information, I’d ask “Yes, but where are you?” or “Where are you now?” or maybe “Where specifically are you?” I think. But I’m not sure I’ve heard people answer that question in that particular way.

      • Or if it’s not a preposition in that circumstance? It’s a bit of an older usage, but “pull the door to,” is a legitimate form of “pull the door closed towards us.”

        • Yes, but that’s actually what I meant by “the preposition is actually the seond part of a two-word verb and doesn’t have an object following it.”

          A lot of English verbs can take on different meanings by having a preposition attached: stand can become stand up, stand down, stand in, or stand out, for example. I think in technical linguistic jargon you would say that those words aren’t actually prepositions but adverbial particles—a “particle” being a short word that changes the meaning of another word that it’s attached to. (English grammarians don’t officially recognize particles, but they occur in a variety of other languages, from Classical Greek to Japanese, and English seems to have words that do similar things.)

          You can find the meaning of “to” that you mention in Merriam-Webster, in the second definition of to that identifies it as an adverb.

          • “I say, the natives are coming at us over that hill. Bugler, sound ‘Stand To’!”
            “Err, sir, Isn’t that ending a sentence with a preposition?”
            “Ahm. Color Sergeant?”
            [Expletives Deleted, At Abbreviated Length Due To The Press Of Events, But With Volume, Inventive Uses and Unique Combinations]”Sound That Call Now, Bugler!”
            [Stand To is sounded]
            “And after we deal with these wogs, Bugler, See Me At My Tent.”

      • I’m Cleveland, OH, born. We reflexively end sentences with prepositions. It’s a Great Lakes Thing, you wouldn’t understand.

    • black flag corsair

      That would have been my choice. 🙂

  7. Ayn Rand’s formulation was that “happiness is the purpose of ethics, but not the standard.” That is, the ultimate reason to have ethical principles is that following them will make you happy; but “do whatever makes you happy” isn’t a sound ethical principle and won’t have that result. I think it’s a useful distinction.

    • Christopher M. Chupik

      Do whatever makes me happy? Okay.

      (opens portal into the Hell Dimensions)

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (eyes vaporize into clouds of ash)

  8. It is interesting to note that Dr. Peterson seems the contemporary embodiment of the “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”

    It would seem the Streisand Effect is strong in this one.

    • Have you watched the Jordan Peterson interview with Cathy Newman? If not it’s well worth it. Talk about some great verbal judo!

      • Seemed to me like he was holding back. There were definitely some points where… let’s say he let her have it as gently as possible. A property of maturity is controlling one’s own strength.

        • He will not break a bruised reed?

        • Very much so! The interview with Crowder and Dr Peterson is on youtube (278). He talks about the interview and how she changed from being pleasant prior to the interview to going after him during the interview.

          Crowder can be dick on his show, but he’s usually entertaining.

          • That dual interview technique is one that had been perfected by 60 Minutes where they would go so far as to re-record the questions asked. In the initial interview Dan Rather, Mike Wallace or whoever would lob amiable-seeming, “just us guys” style questions, then the re-shoot of just the questions would have a snarling newscaster thrusting hard-hitting, what-are-you-trying-to-hide style questions.

            Which is one reason all subjects of those interviews eventually learned to keep their own recordings of their interviews.

            • which is why 60 minutes stopped interviewing people that did so, or even asked permission to

              • 60 minutes. Just another example of the MSM at their worst.

                • I haven’t trusted a word they said since they used model rocket engines to light a car on fire in a ‘test accident’ (or was that 20/20?)

                  and definitiely haven’t trusted 20/20 since their sensationalist hit piece on Goths after Columbine

            • Pretty standard. I wonder why those who agree to interviews never had an analog clock in the background, and never had their own camera running. A CNN reporter pulled that in a small Georgia town a few years back. Heard from some they did the hatchet job on.

      • That’s one of the links that I had to pull (embedded in an article on how journalism has lost debate skills and why that’s bad.) One of the early comments was about how her questions were a legitimate interview style, which entirely missed the point on the article I posted… and I could see the train wreck coming from a mile away at that point, so I deleted it.

        I’ve had to do that a lot with Facebook recently, and not always for anything political. The last one I deleted had to do with a set of hard-boiled eggs that I had that came out wrong—and the comments were full of unhelpful and contradictory advice as to what I did wrong. Meme it: Post random venting, get hundreds of contradictory and unhelpful comments. Ask for advice, *crickets*.

      • Watched it? Lawsy, chile, I larfed so hard I nearly soiled myself.

    • Isn’t it great? Bless that TA from Wilfred Laurier who had the foresight to record her “interview” about broadcasting Jordan Peterson in her class – IMHO, that is what took him from an underground darling to the public wanting to know who he was as well.

      I’d love to see him go #1, but I suspect TPTB aren’t letting “Fire and Fury” go anywhere anytime soon if they can help it.

      • It was. I think my favorite part is when he answers her question about being ‘offensive’ and he points out that she is intentionally offending him during the interview to get answers. The look on her face is priceless as she tries to work through it.

        I thought he was on his way up before then? His youtube channel doesn’t have a huge following but his videos then to get a lot of views.

        • Actually, I was referring to Lindsay Shepherd, the TA from Wilfred Laurier U who was censured by her “professors” for showing the clip of Peterson speaking about gender pronouns. Peterson was already on his way up, but I think Shepherd publishing that meeting fast tracked him big time. When all of Canada and beyond is listening to someone being berated to tears for simply playing a clip of him to foster a debate, it was only natural they’d get curious about who he was.

          The Cathy Newman interview was gold, though. “Gotcha!”

          • Sorry! I misunderstood. A lot of this is covered on the Crowder show. He had an episode right before Christmas with Lindsay and Dr Peterson on at the same time.

            I can understand ideas being upsetting or discomforting, but being moved to tears? Especially about something like pronouns? It boggles my mind to think that ‘adults’ are that mentally fragile. How will these people handle actual adversity?

            Btw, I”m shutting up about Crowder now, I feel like I’m plugging for his show.

        • As a measure of Dr.P’s popularity — his Patreon pulls in over $50,000 per MONTH. (He’s killed the counter because it seemed to him too much like bragging.) He’s planning an online university (when he figures out how to do the accreditation part) to compete against the indoctrination-cesspits, and this is intended to fund it. Judging by how he’s priced stuff like his Self-Authoring class, the tuition will be as minimal as can be managed. Far as he’s talked about it, the plan involves free lectures for all, but tuition if you also want to stump for a degree.

          12 Rules for Life was the first time I’ve ever pre-ordered a book (and it was offered at a nice discount), tho I haven’t got round to reading it yet. But I got hooked on his university lecture videos a while back and have followed him ever since, so by now it’s fairly familiar ground.

          Perhaps of interest to our hostess, Dr.P (having deeply studied the topic) is a vehement anti-Marxist.

  9. Professor Badness

    Hmmm. Just had a heart attack two weeks ago.
    This…could be sound advice.
    Thank you.

  10. The weight I lost building Cheop’s Pumphouse last year has found its way back, thanks to enforced inactivity because eyeballs. It looks like the ground will be dry enough to do yard work as soon as the bandage-contact-lens comes off, thus restarting the 13 acre exercise program. (No I don’t clean all 13, but I’ve got a few acres of pine needles needing removal.) And a garden to prepare.

    I’m glad I’m taking care of the eyes; some of this was deferred maintenance (waiting for Medicare to kick in), while parts were unexpected. The surprises have been dealt with, and I’m hoping to get the last retina procedure done in April.

    I’m think I’ll need to talk to the cardiologist about my AFIB. He said to let him know if it started to hurt. Sigh.

    • Glad it has gone well, so far. Keep yourself as well as you can.

    • *Passes tea* We only have a 10 acre exercise program but I can sympathize at what that extra 3 acres means.

      • Lots of trees, mostly Ponderosa pine. We have more trees that should come down, mostly those too near the neighbor’s overgrown pasture (She’s trying to sell her place, but it will be a while. Maybe a long while.)

        I’ll have a pro fell the trees, but I’ll do the work to get them into firewood and slash piles. That’ll keep me out of trouble.

  11. “And yes, I realize that me talking about self-care is like a fish talking of the joys of flying through air.”
    So aim for being a flying fish.
    Not the salmon caught by an Osprey. (~_^)

    One of the people that Peterson describes in the book is so chaotic that she “thinks she might have been raped” FIVE times. FIVE TIMES. She can’t tell if she was, because she can’t tell if she wanted to do this or not, or even exactly what happened and what was a dream.
    It also doesn’t help the leftoids feminists describe all sex as rape, and then you get them describing someone asking you out on a date being defined as sexual assault or at a minimum harassment (that being he only asked her once, she said “no” and he apologized and walked away, never to ask again).
    How is someone supposed to know what they want without mommy and daddy gov’t telling them exactly what it is (until it changes)

    • Much like those college students who discover that they were “raped” after the guys didn’t call in the morning and the women’s studies professor reminded them that they’d had a couple of beers before agreeing to sex, so the consent doesn’t count. Back when Todd Akin referred to “legitimate rape,” he was mocked (justifiably I thought). Now it seems that we need a way to differentiate between a woman being forced into sex via violence or threats and a woman who finds an excuse to retroactively withdraw consent.

      Though I’m starting to think that the “campus rape epidemic” is closely tied to the later point that Sarah made about the expectation that women should sleep around (and enjoy sleeping around) as much as men. If a woman sleeps with a guy, he sees her as a one-night stand he never wants to speak to again, and she feels like a cheap prostitute the next morning, then she wants some explanation of why. In a previous era, it might be understood that she gave sex hoping for more of a relationship, and he was a cad for taking advantage of that. Now, however, she “knows” that she enjoys random hookups and meaningless sex as much as any man, so something else must have been wrong. And since the only “wrong sex” we’ll still acknowledge is rape…

      • if the campus rape epidemic was real, what female would be willing to go to any university? What parents would allow it?

        • I don’t remember which war zone it was, but some people were joking that we should send our college women there, since it was safer than college (using the 1-in-5 baloney).

          • Likely Iraq, when the fighting was at its peak

          • One of my data-points when I was getting my parents to sign the enlistment papers for the Navy was that it was significantly more likely, per 1k people involved, that I’d die at college than in the military.

            Although they were both mostly motor vehicle accidents, and it took a long time for “combat zone” deaths (also mostly motor vehicle accidents) to be more common than off-duty, state-side deaths.

      • As the Old Army saying went, “Nobody ever got raped in an upper bunk.”

        What really troubles me is that pretty soon, “rape” is going to be like “racist”, a cheap pejorative with no meaning. Which means that victims of forcible sexual acts (real used-to-be-hanged for rape) will have no recourse.

        Although I’m Very Old School. A proper lady does not drink to excess and ensures that a would-be rapist (the real used-to-be-hanged-for sort) looks like one. With four or five bullet holes in him.

        • Um… actually, I was in an upper bunk, the only time someone tried to sexually assault me.

          I was 16, in a university summer program where I was supposed to room with real college students. Said college students had drunken parties and drunken boyfriends. One of them attempted to go from her bunk (lower) to my bunk (upper, across the room). Apparently he was also a drunken cheating boyfriend who sometimes had a thing with the other Real College Student girl in the room.

          I kicked him lots of times, of course, and yelled, and woke up even the drunkest people. And he figured out his mistake. But if I hadn’t been awake, the story might have ended quite differently.

          (Um, yes, I do advise people not to have their high school kids participate in summer programs with Real College Students. A lot of stuff happened that summer that should not have, and there really wasn’t anybody of an administrative nature to complain to.)

          • So anyway, an upper bunk is clearly more defensible than a lower bunk, especially if you are used to fighting your brothers.

            OTOH, your brothers aren’t really going to hurt you, whereas a drunken stranger easily could do so. And even if you tend to sleep with heavy objects close at hand and are okay with kicking strangers in the head, an upper bunk isn’t really that defensible.

            So really, the best defense is not to be anywhere near anybody who would either choose to rape you, or make a serious mistake while under the influence. Finding a safe place to sleep is pretty high on the scale of must-haves, in life.

            • Also, it wasn’t an Amazonian feat. The guy was almost comically drunk. I’m still amazed that he could climb at all in that condition, and I’m afraid that he could barely feel me kicking him in the head.

              A very bad situation that was also very hard to take seriously.

          • I hated sharing dorm rooms. You never knew if your roommates were going to be dicks or not.

            • Amen.

              Had a genuine psychotic at one point. (yes, yes, insert mandatory joke about “duh, female” here. I’ll even agree with it half the time)

          • In similar circumstances (I wasn’t a high school student) I tried to strangle someone with my bra (which I’d been too sleepy to remember to take off and took off after I was in bed, so it was under my pillow). It’s amazing how quickly he got the message. And yep, when I was young, I was homicidal ALL the time. I just managed to keep it in check most of the time.

      • Anent this …

        Dear Feminists: If You Want a Real Man, Act Like a Woman
        By Faith Moore
        We are witnessing the emergence of a new conversation about sex. The devolution of the #MeToo movement and, more recently, the Babe article about “Grace” and Aziz Ansari, have highlighted a fatal flaw in the logic of feminism.

        The original intent of the #MeToo movement — that rape, workplace harassment, sexual assault, etc. ought to be unacceptable in our country — has been superseded by the idea that any type of sexually-charged encounter that makes a woman feel bad is the same as rape. And, while many modern-day feminists (I have no idea what “wave” we’re on and I don’t actually care) vehemently defend this notion, others have begun to call foul, pointing out that this kind of thinking promotes the very type of victim mentality that feminism was intended to protect against.

        Recently, I pointed out that this new victim mentality stems from the feminist lie that men and women are supposed to have the same attitude towards sex. So, even though what women really want from men is love, connection, intimacy, and protection, they have to act like they’re okay with having meaningless sex on the first date. Which is how women like “Grace” end up, of their own free will, naked in a man’s apartment and feeling terrible about it.

        A recent article on Scary Mommy by popular blogger Samara (apparently she has only a first name) illustrates this idea perfectly (if unintentionally). The article is called “Sometimes I Want to Be Held By A Man, Naked, Without Having Sex – Is That Okay?” and it simultaneously makes the point that women need intimacy in their lives (which is true) and that they should be able to expect it from the random guys that they go out with one time (which is not).

        See, intimacy is something that comes with time. It happens when two people get to know one another, feel comfortable with each other, and allow themselves to be vulnerable with one another. You can “get intimate” with someone you met an hour ago, but you can’t “have intimacy” with him.

        “I dread the idea of having to make constant compromises. Relationships are hard, and if introducing a partner into my life is going to create drama and pain, I’d rather be alone,” Samara writes. Instead, she longs to find “intimacy” with the random people she dates. “I’m a highly sexual person,” she continues, “and I like kinky sex as much as the next wanton woman. Sometimes, though, I just want to lie next to someone who will hold me. This never happens.”

        [END EXCERPT]

        There is no Miller Lite in relationships, nothing that will “Taste Great” and be “Less Filling.” Mostly what you will get when you buy that line is gassy bloat and a horrid aftertaste.

        • scott2harrison

          The original intent of the #Me Too movement was to bury Harvey Weinstein’s misdeeds in so much made up crap that people forgot about them, or just said “everyone does it”. It worked too.

  12. William O. B'Livion

    > Guess what the average rate of compliance for meds is? Even
    > for lifesaving meds? Yep, 20%.

    If I ever get put on those kinds of meds I’m going to start planning my funeral, because I’ll have about 6 weeks to live.

    • Some meds have a tightrope dose window; warfarin is like that. Too little, or forgetting and a clot could kill you, too much and the med can kill you or make life very uncomfortable. I find it focusses the mind quite well.

      I use two 1-week pill containers; one for the morning stuff, and another for the evening. Eye drops (they’ll end, eventually. I hope) go on my calendar alarm program. With the post-surgery drops, right now, it’s 9 drops a day, over 4 times. Hell yes, I’m going to use any means possible to do it right.

      • For anyone who has distinct sets of morning/evening pills, I recommend the Lewis N. Clark pill organizer. The two sets of eight numbered ziploc-ish pouches take a little more effort to fill up each week than the standard hard plastic 1-week cases, but it’s much easier to carry “tonight’s pills” when going out to dinner.

        -j

        • Mine are the first thing in the morning and “take at bedtime”. I have two hardshell cases that look totally unlike. I used to use a 4-slot pill case, but my meds are simpler, at least normally.

          • A long time online aquaintance, actually the longest I still regularly chat with, just had her “I am now officially old” crisis. She has several meds to take for bp etc and has her week of pills container

          • I stopped relying on the hard plastic ones when I had one pop open during travel, despite its locking spring. I think it was two months before I found the last little pill inside my backpack.

            -j

            • The last trips, I used an old bicycle trunk-pack as my touring pharmacy (not joking; even minor eye surgery calls for a bunch of additional medications). I could put the pill cases flat in the pack and zip it shut, expecting everything to be in place when I needed it.

              The bicycle is long gone, but that pack is handy.

    • I am unsurprised at the compliance rates. I am a very well intentioned very compliant patient and in my late fifties. At the end of the week it is not unusual for me to have missed 1-2 containers in my am/pm pill strip. And we won’t even talk about my eye drops. How 80 somethings who can have trouble remembering what they were doing manage to get ANY pills in astounds me.

      • I know if I miss too many of the singulair, because I start scratching…

      • I think it’s my engineering background. I’ve had a couple of times when I missed a dose, did a failure analysis on it (it’s usually the evening dose when we’re doing something out of the ordinary), and take measures to prevent a screwup. I’ll do things like move the bedtime pill container to just in front of the eye ointment.

        I guess a chunk of a career in process engineering helps in household life. 🙂

        • Yes. Same with Software Development. I drive hubby nuts. Thing is he is the same way. Yet we can’t work on projects together, easily. Yes, we both have strict processes, problem is not the same processes. I am more flexible than he is, but apparently not enough. We make it work somehow.

          • Yep; another large chunk of my career was in test engineering. Did a lot of projects featuring the unholy matrimony of hardware and software and DUTs (Device Under Test). One, two, or all three could be flaky. It was fun when things came together, but the intermediate stages were interesting.

  13. I don’t quite manage the “take care of yourself like you would someone you love” but I have managed the “consider the effect on those you love if you don’t take care of yourself.” I’m reasonably good at remembering my medication, but I’m far worse about remembering things like, “Have some candy in your pockets when you go for a walk in case you have a hypoglycemic episode.” However, now that, “If you have a hypoglycemic episode while you’re on that walk, just what happens to that kid who’s out with you?” is a legitimate question, I’m getting a lot better about it.

    • Kid or Pet.

      I’m really good about using my eye drops for Glaucoma. Doctor said you have 3 options: a) use drops nightly, religiously; b) get stuck by a needle in each eye every X days (may have to eventually but X becomes years, not months, or days); or c) go blind, painfully.

      Not so good about the Hypoglycemia. Couple of reasons. A) More gradual onset & should have time to reach something before critical, unless hiking of backpacking, then I’d better have what I need; b) Reactive Hypoglycemic, which means processed Sugar-Is-Not-My-Friend, actually will make it worse. Need to be better educated. Luckily our current dog (just now a year) has learned to alert me when I’m headed for hypoglycemic state, which then I can have fruit, protein, etc., stop, slow down, rest (okay I normally take a nap – I’m retired, I can do that), to let my levels come back to normal gradually (fast is bad), so training her & using her as a Service Dog.

      • The ability to identify and train dogs for such service has been one of the amazements of my life.

        That the signals for impending blood sugar issues, epileptic events and other such trauma are so readily identifiable to pooches is another of those amazements.

        Twofers are always great.

        • my ex-girlfriend’s cats could warn her when her blood sugar was low…

        • “The ability to identify and train dogs for such service has been one of the amazements of my life.”

          I know! When I was diagnosed, 30 years ago, you didn’t hear of dogs being trained for Service other than seeing-eye & hearing. Did not consider it with current pup, but she started alerting me, then I found a patch for Service Dog for that condition, THEN I learned you can self train. WOW, just WOW.

          But because she is trained by me, I am very, very, sensitive to her behavior. I can survive without her, a great convenience & very much helpful & medically better off, but won’t die (in most situations and that could change as I age, but for now is true). Others who need their dogs that is not true, the dogs could be the difference between life & death. I won’t hurt that for anything.

  14. “The way he put it was something like this “Treat yourself as you’d treat someone you loved who was utterly dependent on you.” ”

    When I was in Officer Candidate School, we had a series of “popular” war movies, and discussing some of the leadership lessons depicted. One of my favorites was Gregory Peck in “12 O’Clock High”. The question was, was Peck’s character really taking care of his men? I answered “No, he’s not taking care of his men, because he’s not even taking care of himself.” That sparked a vigorous discussion about not being able to be a proper leader when you’re exhausted.

    • I’m very much of two minds on this. I’ve worked very-high-tempo flight test operations in my career. And yes, it’s very possible to bring someone to either a heart attack or a nervous breakdown…maybe both. Put the pressure on and keep it on long enough, and you’ll break strong men.

      On the one hand, I’m a firm believer that I want working-level troops who have the discipline to stand at their posts until they either drop, or are properly relieved.

      The question for leaders being whose responsibility it is to pull them out. My answer, for the record, is that this is the duty of their superiors.

  15. On the topic of self-care:

    Habit beats motivation, hands down.

    What we make habit, we do. What we motivate, we may do for now. Habits, good or bad, are persistent. Motivation is usually ephemeral

    • Motivation can help build habits, especially if there’s some good feedback.

      Case in point; my podiatrist recommended stretches to deal with heel spurs and plantar fasciitis. I’m normally horrible at stretching, but the pain was fierce, and I gave it a go. After 6 weeks, I realized I hadn’t had any episodes in a while. That helped me build and keep the habit. I’m still horrible at other stretches, but I’ll do the tendon stretch 2 to 3 times a day. I’ve now incorporated the morning stretch into a short exercise routine; it’s anaerobic, so the stretching lets me catch my breath.

  16. OTOH any young people today has internalized that they need to at least lie about sleeping with a lot of people. Because heaven forbid you are in a monogamous relationship and have never slept with anyone else, or, gasp, a virgin past you middle teens. If you confess to that, everyone will know you’re weird and repressed and stuff, right? (BTW the whole idea of repression and sublimation being bad for you is one of those Freud things that doesn’t seem to have any basis in the real world.)

    Chesterton:
    Whether the human mind can advance or not, is a question too little discussed, for nothing can be more dangerous than to found our social philosophy on any theory which is debatable but has not been debated. But if we assume, for the sake of argument, that there has been in the past, or will be in the future, such a thing as a growth or improvement of the human mind itself, there still remains a very sharp objection to be raised against the modern version of that improvement. The vice of the modern notion of mental progress is that it is always something concerned with the breaking of bonds, the effacing of boundaries, the casting away of dogmas. But if there be such a thing as mental growth, it must mean the growth into more and more definite convictions, into more and more dogmas. The human brain is a machine for coming to conclusions; if it cannot come to conclusions it is rusty. When we hear of a man too clever to believe, we are hearing of something having almost the character of a contradiction in terms. It is like hearing of a nail that was too good to hold down a carpet; or a bolt that was too strong to keep a door shut. Man can hardly be defined, after the fashion of Carlyle, as an animal who makes tools; ants and beavers and many other animals make tools, in the sense that they make an apparatus. Man can be defined as an animal that makes dogmas. As he piles doctrine on doctrine and conclusion on conclusion in the formation of some tremendous scheme of philosophy and religion, he is, in the only legitimate sense of which the expression is capable, becoming more and more human. When he drops one doctrine after another in a refined scepticism, when he declines to tie himself to a system, when he says that he has outgrown definitions, when he says that he disbelieves in finality, when, in his own imagination, he sits as God, holding no form of creed but contemplating all, then he is by that very process sinking slowly backwards into the vagueness of the vagrant animals and the unconsciousness of the grass. Trees have no dogmas. Turnips are singularly broad-minded.

    https://www.gutenberg.org/files/470/470-h/470-h.htm

    I was actually looking for something entirely different– a line I know he has about a lady in the slums staying loyal to her man, and declaring as much to a judge, but she declares it like it’s a shameful thing, not loyalty.
    But the paragraph was just…too much.

    • I’m glad I’m not in my twenties any more; I’d have to lie about how many people I’ve slept with? Ick. I like not having any STDs.

      Then again, people are supposed to be proud of the diseases – especially sexually transmitted ones – today, and I wonder if they realize that is a great way to warn people off the crazy, diseased thing…

      • I don’t think it’s so much that they’re proud of having an STD, it’s just that it’s become so commonplace to have one now. *shudder*

        I’m just out of my twenties, and despite all of the resources and information available to people my age, I’ve met a shocking number of people who considered any protection besides the pill to be unnecessary, if not straight up taboo.

      • Sleeping with anyone who asks seems to me shows a lack of self-respect. Making love with someone or having sex with someone, should be done with someone you really care for. Ideally it should be with someone you love within the bounds of matrimony.

        • A lot of kids today do not have boundaries. They’ve never been taught to have them (because they come from dysfunctional families); or they’ve been propagandized that boundaries are shameful, a sign that you are babyish or antisocial.

          • A lot of kids today do not have boundaries. They’ve never been taught to have them (because they come from dysfunctional families)

            Not just dysfunctional families. The rot is getting deep and approaching gangrene.

            School tells students they must ‘say yes’ when asked to dance at Valentine’s Day party
            A Utah mother is concerned after finding out her child couldn’t reject a classmate’s invitation to dance at a Valentine’s Day school party because it would be against school rules.

            Natalie Richard, whose daughter is in sixth grade at Kanesville Elementary School in Weber County, told Fox 13 Salt Lake City that she was shocked to hear her child tell her she couldn’t tell a fellow student “no” if he asked her to dance at the upcoming event.

            Confused, Richard told her daughter that she was “misunderstanding” the situation, because “that’s not how it is.”

            The daughter’s teacher, however, confirmed to Richard that, in fact, her daughter “has to say yes” and “has to accept” such a proposal.

            [SNIP]

            A spokesperson for the Weber School District told the news station that in an effort to “promote kindness” the administration wants students “to say yes when someone asks you to dance.”

            [END EXCERPT]

            • “in an effort to “promote kindness” the administration wants students “to say yes when someone asks you to dance.””

              Which is against the laws of nature. Natural selection is based on discrimination. I shouldn’t be forced to dance with the meanest girl in the whole damn school. And in accordance with their own rules, boys would be forced to dance with other boys, and girls with other girls, regardless of their gender identities.

            • I think the correct response to that is “FOAD.”

              I am not letting someone lay hand on me that I don’t wish to allow; and they wanna have people pay to be forced to do so? TOTAL FOAD.

            • I’m going to be the contrarian here.

              This is sixth grade. It’s still elementary school many places. This shouldn’t be about anything other than social dancing. And it should be heavily chaperoned. So, yes, they should teach some kindness. If the nerdy guy asks you to dance, say yes. If the girl with coke bottle glasses and braces asks you to dance, go dance. Go ask the wallflower to dance.

              This can be handled without creating a generation of rapists, for crying out loud. It’s really not hard. Heck, schools use to have dance classes at that age, and you had to dance with whomever the teacher said you danced with.

              Except the mom is probably a busybody, and a #metoo’er. And probably thoroughly believes her little darling will be molested by all those rapist boys in her daughter’s class. I could be wrong, but that’s the way I would bet.

              • If they had dance classes, it’d be a bit different, although given schools’ established judgement failures I’d still be cautious. Generally the teachers brain-dumped the “hands on shoulders” guideline for people who are just dancing and not courting. (that is, they teach the kids like they’re adults)

                I know what the dances 20+ years ago were like; if it’s a dance where you have to be “asked to dance,” it’s going to involve physical contact that would justify a smack if it’s not formally permitted, and holy crud is that a bad boundary to work on removing in 12 year old kids.

                • “Hi. My name is Michael.”
                  Hands girl the new ‘Social Justice Interactive Gender Checklist #3, Dancing.’

                  Please response Yes or No to the following options and return. It is strongly recommended that you provide your prospective partner with your own option checklist.

                  ___ Would you like to dance?
                  ___ May I touch you?
                  ___ May I hold your hand?
                  ___ Can I put my hands on your back or waist?
                  ___ Do I have to kiss you at the end of the song?

                  If prospective partners are 16 years or older, see Checklist #4

                  • *snicker*

                    When the question “would you like to dance” means anything from “may I awkwardly stand at arm’s length with my hand on your shoulder and we slow-dance” through “may I have full body contact from knee to chest and both arms wrapped around your waist” because they’ve successfully destroyed all the norms….

                    And yes, I have seen the second one, in action. Because Humans Are Twits.

              • By the way, involvement with your own 12 year old daughter? That is NOT being a busy body.

                That is BEING A PARENT.

                If more parents would bother to do it, there’d be a much lower rate of statutory rape.

          • Not just schools, and not just about sex:
            The lack of boundaries in the modern workplace are sheer hell to anyone who is a natural introvert. Open plan offices? The need to constantly interact with peers (when will the work get done?). The need to find out, in detail, whether your private opinion on random things (sports, cars, politics (not so random there), etc) match in detail the opinions of your friends. And if not, HERETIC!!!

            Who decided that having a little tiny corner of our own and time to think was threatening?

            • Why is “antisocial” wrong, and when did people decide to associate it with psycopathy (which is an *entirely different* thing!). For one thing, psycopaths are seldom shy.

              • Two different meanings got conflated– sort of like how a literal translation of pedophile is lover of children.

                There’s anti-social, as in corrosive to society, and there’s anti-social, finds less enjoyment in socializing.

                I think it may be deliberate, because they keep trying to expand “psychopath” to include those who “lack empathy” in that they can do something they KNOW will hurt someone if there is a reason for it. Which is a total perversion of the actual “lack of empathy” trait; it’s one thing to not realize other people truly feel pain, and another to not be controlled by “that person feels pain.”

                • Strange, but just about all autistics “lack empathy” because they find it extremely difficult to generalize the way they feel applies to how other people can feel too.

                  • I thought it had more to do with reading the body language to figure out what someone else feels?

                    Or is that for the folks that are really autistic– long term recognized issue– rather than “on the spectrum” where they use to be just a bit off?

          • Not for the first time, I wonder what on earth a system that was designed to enable and protect the abusive would look like, any different from what is done….

            Even the “Me too” junk drowns out real feed-back about the abusive vs clueless.

            • Which is the INTENT of the “Me Too”

            • GTA
              You get points for every anti-social, psychotic bit of violence you can perpetrate.
              How many points do you get for running over a troop of girl scouts in the crosswalk?

              • Less than for hitting someone in a powered wheelchair, or so my group decided one day at lunch during high school. Wheelchair could dodge and had a motor, so it counted for more points.

                Yeah, we were pretty tired of school by that point. One of us is now clergy, one is in the Navy, one is raising three kids and they have all turned out well thus far, one I lost track of, and I’m me.

                • Feather Blade.

                  I used to play that game. I don’t think we ever decided but how many points you’d get for hitting someone on crutches, if you a) get the crutches but miss the person, or b) hit the person, but leave the crutches standing in the road.

          • This on the boundaries. The number of times I got “Don’t be a prude. You have so many hangups.” Or my favorite. “You have a complex.” (Well, it’s better than having a simple.)

      • When I was in college we worked with the state of Nebraska to survey high schools in NE about students having sex. It was. . .informative. The teen pregnancy rates in smaller high schools was high as was the rate of STDs.

      • God works in mysterious ways. A year stationed in South Korea and I didn’t catch anything even though I had a LOT of fun every week. Statistically improbable at the time. And no, I wasn’t married then either. Did get in control of an alcohol problem and turned that happy hour into classroom time to get my first college degree though.

    • Side note: Not all of us.

      • *grin* After initially quoting a much smaller chunk, I made sure to get the first line in; it prevents the conflation of trying stuff and finding it wanting, vs discarding anything that tries you!

  17. My mom collapsed one Christmas season and ended up in the hospital with malnutrition and a few other things because the only time she’d take to eat was some random time during the day when she’d make a peanut butter sandwich. She’d make dinner and not eat it because there were too many other things to do. So she fed and clothed others and worked her hours at the shop, but put herself in danger because she wouldn’t keep track of herself. She has since gotten better at it. After having back issues that completely sidelined her for a bit, she learned better to let others do for her when needed and to take time for herself. She had to have the lesson forced on her. I hope I can learn it myself without hard lessons.

  18. “Treat yourself as you’d treat someone you loved who was utterly dependent on you.” The struggle is in caring how you treat yourself or get treated..

    • I don’t think that “caring how you treat yourself” is relevant to the advice given, since you’re supposed to treat yourself as though your weren’t yourself.

  19. First. I’m eighty, and not necessarily the intended audience for Peterson’s latest. Second. I find it wisely affirming and cautionary and exceptionally well written. Third. I’m still learning.

  20. I have learned to take care of myself after my handicapped wife, who depends on my care to keep her alive, beat me around the head repeatedly that if I croak off, then I’ve effectively killed her and the service dog.

    Shock therapy occasionally works. Sometimes.

    • BINGO!

    • My Mom when Daddy was sick. We had to have an intervention with her. Final last words to here (& no we wouldn’t have gone through with it) “who will take care of daddy if you die first?, not us.” She listened.

      Wish someone would have beaten the county authorities with my grandparents. Grandpa got life alert, because he was in “dire straits”, Grandma “didn’t qualify”, barely. Family tried to intervene, because she was killing herself taking care of him (they were both 90+) were guilty of a form of “elderly abuse” (strongly put so everyone had to back off). Thus came the day when Life Alert went off, because Grandpa could not get Grandma’s attention. Life Alert shows up, he’s in trouble (he died 10 days later), she’s fallen on the kitten floor, couldn’t get up & couldn’t respond loud enough for Grandpa to hear, she was passed out by emergency personnel got there (she passed away 25 days later, exactly 12 hours after his memorial). Still angry at county & it’s been over 10 years. FWIW, once they were transported to the hospital outside of their county, the new county social worker assigned was not happy with what had happened before (it was not family they were unhappy with), as I’m surprised it all didn’t go national with the complaint.

    • “You can’t die, the cats need kibble.”

      Of course, if all your cats die first… “You can’t die, no one would find your body soon enough and you’d leave a huge mess for someone else to clean up.”

      That’s the worst thing about living alone, I think – you can’t take risks because you are your only recourse when something goes wrong.

      • Having a pet does tend to extend one’s life expectancy.

      • “That’s the worst thing about living alone, I think – you can’t take risks because you are your only recourse when something goes wrong.”

        As we told our kid as he headed off to college. “You will check in more than once a week, at least until you have someone else in your life that gives more than a darn. College roommates, generally don’t qualify. Or we check in.”

        FWIW. Kid has came back with “You too will check in more than once a week when you are on the road with the trailer. Or I will call you!” Darn brat.

        Reminds me when we sent him with council contingent to National Jamboree. “Be safe, remember buddy system” … “mom”. Wait, told my mom, her response “be safe, remember buddy system” … I was staffing …. “Mom! I’m over 40!” … her response “Yes, but remember Dad & I are taking that cruise? Your grandmother just said the same thing, and I’m OVER 60!”. Now that dad’s gone, we each check in with her more than once a week. And yes, she rolls her eyes … she’s 82.

  21. c4c

  22. “The result of throwing out all the old rules wasn’t so much freedom as what they like to call ‘the anomie of modern life.’ ”
    It took many years (and probably my wife pointed it out before I noticed it) for me to realize that the 10 Commandments are not a bunch of “Thou shalt not’s,” as they used to say, but rather a succinct set of things to do and not do if you want to have a happy and fulfilling life. For a community of writers in particular, morality is important because great art comes from characters dealing with the moral dilemmas that are encountered in unusual circumstances. Once society in general throws out all the moral rules, there is no room for great art. I’d like to write you a guest post on that one, but it’s sitting behind the one called, “How to solve America’s immigration problem and save the world as a side effect.” Family needs and work that they pay me for take precedence for now, but I promise I’ll get to it if anybody’s interested.

    • “Once society in general throws out all the moral rules, there is no room for great art.”

      There’s a great post in the concept that all art forms work better for restrictions. The person who can write a sonnet is more likely to be good at free verse than the reverse; the person who can make great art in a limited color palette often does a better job overall than the person who can only do works in full color or not at all.

      • Looking at the recent Potus and flotus portraits it is already too late.

        • No it’s not. They’re the segment that’s insane. There’s still sane people.

        • I have been told that if you want a serious portrait, it should be 2/3 body at most, cropped up to the chest at the smallest. If you have a full-body portrait, you’re more likely to be looked at as an object (“sexy” if you’re female) than as a person.

          But what do I know, I’m just an artist.

          • That seems appropriate – both Obamas were little more than empty objects into whom Progressives projected their reverence and dreams.

        • The former POTUS looks as if he’s being eaten by kudzu. That, or he’s part of a surrealist painting, which would make a great deal of sense.

        • If someone had not TOLD me that was a picture of Michelle Obama, I wouldn’t know it. But, like their policies, pointing out that the portraits are simply bad is raaaaacist.

      • I’ve got an uncle who is a prize-winning photographer.

        He’s colorblind. ^.^

        No, he doesn’t shoot in black and white…it’s just that the stuff that looks good when you have it truly simple, tend to look good when you can see all the colors, too.

        • When I got my degree in broadcast studies, they made a point of how control rooms had black & white monitors, and how if you don’t have the proper contrast levels in B&W, it’s not going to look good in color. Which is also why women with pale skin should not wear pale beige dresses (or other pale pastels). If the color value of your dress matches your skin value, you’re going to look washed out.

          • If the color value of your dress matches your skin value, you’re going to look washed out.
            Or naked. It can be very distracting.

            • Yep. But I was meaning “value” in the sense of “darkness level”, so it applies to something in, say, a pale mint that just happens to be as dark as your skin tone. Beige is the worst, but that’s going to look subtly wrong and most people won’t be able to articulate why.

      • Have you seen what passes for “Great Art” these days? Christ on his cross in a jar of piss, if that’s art I’m a kangaroo!

        They haven’t been able to recognize great art from a demented child’s doodle in so long it’s a wonder the museums haven’t been struck by lightning.

        The only reason nobody tried painting a picture of Obama in elephant dung is that it would be too realistic.

        • That’s because it’s not art; it’s tokens used in money laundering.

          Plenty more if you search for: modern art money laundering

        • The problem with “Piss Christ” is that he could have gotten the same visual effect with a good champagne, or even a decent pilsner. But no, he had to go with the whole desecration bit. That’s not the mark of an artist. That’s the mark of a psycho.

          • Nah, that’s “brave”. Though one does note that they never seem”brave” enough to use Mad Mo in place of Jesus.

            • Ooooo
              Ingredients: a small statue of Mohammed, a quart size pickling jar, some amber colored fluid, a digital camera, and some site you can post a picture to anonymously on the Internet to become the most hated man on the planet for the next 9 weeks. MSM would even forget about President Trump for a week.

        • Um, have you seen the portrait they unveiled yesterday of him and his wife?

        • There’s a lot of modern art that doesn’t appeal to me, but I will say that actually seeing things in person does make a difference. For instance, I saw a painting that would register as almost entirely black in a photograph, but in person, it was a painting of deep twilight, with all the proper shadows in place.

          Basically, in person you have the opportunity to see who actually has a decent level of craft vs. who is just surfing the wave of “modern.” Of course, I also like looking at the pottery.

    • Personally, I’d love to read “How to solve America’s immigration problem and save the world as a side effect” asap. Great art is important, but the immigration problem is potentially lethal.

      • Which is why the Progressive Democrat rant about how Trump’s immigration bill is too radical to approve really annoys me. If President T was actually a radical racist, white supremacist, his opening bid would be to kill all illegal aliens.

        A couple hundred illegal immigrants would be a tragedy. Millions is an invasion. Constitution plainly states that Congress has the right to call up the militia to repel invasions. Which argues that our elected representatives had a duty they most abjectly failed to prevent illegal aliens by any means necessary, including lethal force. i.e. The baseline penalty for illegal immigration is death. There’s a disturbing number of people in this country who’d be just fine with that too.

        All of which make’s The Donald’s proposal really a fine example of compromise, moderation, and humanitarianism.

        • More people who’d be okay with it every day and every demonstration by entitled “dreamers.”

        • Elizabeth Creegan

          Someone who crosses the border illegally and participates in the grey market has only broken the laws of a foreign country in order to support himself and possibly his family. I don’t blame him any more than I blame a poor man who went poaching on his neighbor’s land in order to feed his kids.

          That said, while a “mere” illegal alien isn’t at fault, WE are at fault for tolerating the illegal aliens. We have no obligation to the illegal aliens. We do have an obligation to the inner-city youths born on our soil, and the illegal aliens outcompete the inner-city youths for many of the far-too-few jobs the inner-city youths are capable of.

          Someone who crosses the border illegally and then harms or risks the lives of the natives is no longer a mere trespasser but an invader and should be treated accordingly. Not only should members of M13 be treated as war criminals, so should drunk driving illegal aliens.

          • We have no obligation to the illegal aliens.

            Tell that to posturing pols:

            Albany’s Dreamers Act puts illegal immigrants before New York citizens
            The next time you pay your student loan, write a tuition check or contribute to your children’s college fund, know that New York Assembly Democrats and Gov. Cuomo are pushing to give free college tuition to illegal immigrants. … Illegal immigrants already get taxpayer-subsidized in-state tuition. The so-called Dream Act proposal, which just passed the Assembly, would make illegal immigrants eligible for the New York State Tuition Assistance Program and the Excelsior Scholarship, known colloquially as Cuomo’s free-college program.

            In 2010, New York state decided it could no longer afford to give TAP to New Yorkers seeking a master’s degree. Now, however, the governor and Assembly Democrats have determined that a bachelor’s degree for illegal immigrants is a higher priority than a master’s degree for a citizen. Despite a $4 billion shortfall, the governor’s budget proposal includes millions for illegal immigrants to go to college on the taxpayer.

            [SNIP]

            Proponents of the legislation argue that we have already invested so much in those who would benefit from this bill, we must therefore further subsidize their education. But this is actually an argument against free college for illegal immigrants. After all, taxpayers already have paid enough to those who are here in violation of the law.

            Proponents also claim that because illegal immigrants put so much into the economy that it would grind to a halt without them, we must pay for their college. This argument raises the question: If illegal immigrants are such an economic powerhouse, why can’t they fund their own education?

            Other defenders of the proposal argue that immigrants pay some taxes so they should be entitled to everything citizens and legal residents receive from the state. Yet, according to the Federation for American Immigration Reform, illegal immigrants pay $192 million per year in New York state taxes but cost state and local taxpayers $9.5 billion per year including $5.83 billion in annual education costs.

            When their arguments fail, Dream Act proponents quickly pivot to the race card.

            [END EXCERPT]

            It’s always easier to be generous with other people’s money. I doubt Gov. Cuomo nor the NY Democrats pushing this are relying on government assistance for college for their kids and grandkids.

            • Elizabeth Creegan

              Oh, welfare for illegal aliens limiting funds for citizens is the least of it. New York City’s so-called sanctuary policy forbids handing convicted criminals over to ICE for deportation after serving their sentences. Preserving the presence of CONVICTED CRIMINALS in this country is more important than protecting law-abiding citizens from the same.

              I have some sympathy for local governments GENERALLY refusing to cooperate with ICE. There’s a real conflict here between the local government’s interest in controlling the streets – hard to do when there’s a subculture which doesn’t dare talk to the police – and the federal government’s interest in controlling who is present in the country. That sympathy vanishes when the non-cooperation extends to convicted criminals. The local government has no valid interest in maintaining criminals’ presence in the vicinity.

              https://www.conservativedailynews.com/2017/11/ice-arrests-55-illegal-aliens-new-york-42-released-local-custody-without-honoring-immigration-detainers/

              • Point to remember is most of New York State’s leaders are second generation crime family members.

            • I grew up in New York State, a citizen of the US and NY. They didn’t offer me jack for college (and rightly so); which is one reason I went in the military and ended up working for my degrees.

        • Odd that this comes up again today– just this morning I had to point out that they’ve got the justification they’d need to do something like that, legally.

          Recognize that the cartels are terrorist organizations. The denial, right now, depends on pretending that they’re only there for money, and that terrorist groups are only in it for the theology. Go in without assumptions, and…well, it looks a whole lot like they both want power, money is a means to get it, and rhetoric (the cartels use it, too) is a tool to reach it.

    • Fulton Sheen had a really good show on “freedom”– it’s on youtube– that went on the theme of “freedom, without a purpose, is meaningless– freedom from means nothing without a freedom to“.

      Things like you need freedom from error to be free to speak the truth on a subject– and that if you are “free” from the requirement of drawing a giraffe with a short neck, you’ll find that you aren’t free to draw a giraffe at all.

    • You might find Dean Prager’s discussion of each of the Ten worthy of your attention.


      Watch each of the individual segments as you like, although the OCS inclined will insist on viewing them in numerical order.

  23. I can’t figure out what excites me more – that someone who is preaching personal responsibility and the importance of being right within yourself before making everything around you right is becoming popular, or the desperate hit pieces and one star reviews that insist Peterson is a dangerous Literally Hitler(TM) whose audience is limited to bored, jobless, angry alt-right white boys. Strictly observing here, but people from all walks of life have been asking me about 12 Rules when I’m at my bookstore job so either I’m helping out a whole lot of nazis in training, or, um, he just has a good message that is speaking to everyone and the MSM tactics of degrading and deposing are losing their power.

    I also happen to be a millennial woman. The points he brings up about the sexual revolution vs. personal responsibility have been really good food for thought and contributing to conclusions I’ve been coming to on my own over the past few years. Long story short, I’ve felt far more at peace with myself since I’ve excised pretty much all pop culture and social media out of my life. I was never one for online/app dating or hook-up culture, and getting all that ringing out of my ears and listening to myself has helped me see that I don’t need to be ashamed of it.

    • His series on personality is a good one, if you’ve the interest and some grounding in, oh, a bunch of things. But it starts out with Pinocchio, so it’s got at least bits acceptable to everyone, even old farts that have pretty much forgotten Nietzche and Goethe…

    • whose audience is limited to bored, jobless, angry alt-right white boys
      Which is why our hostess is reading it, of course! (Though you forgot “Morman” and “with a great rack”.)

  24. The thing about taking care of yourself so you are able to take care of others is part of why I get so @#$# annoyed with com-box theologians.

    “Should I donate by bank-draw, because it makes it so much easier on the parish, or write out a check each week?” “Do both! You can ALWAYS do more!”
    “I would like to start doing a rosary every day, but with the kids I don’t get to bed until ten, and they’re up at six; I tried at night, but kept falling asleep.” “Just wake up earlier, you don’t need sleep!”

    Oh, #$@#$@# off.

    • *headdesk*

      The old priest I remember most fondly said he always got better reactions when he was trying to be good (his words) rather than to preach oughts. As bad a Christian as I am, I’m hesitant to criticise, but there are some… That tempt me. MIGHTILY.

      • Heh, part of that is probably because it’s a lot easier to say “oh, sure, he can do that, he’s a priest, but I’m not that good, so I’m excused.”

        Not that I know me or anything. *looks innocent*

    • Heh. And anything that combox guy likes is obligatory, whereas anything else is either frivolous, unapproved, or ee-vul.

      Having quoteable rules is a good thing.

      • Having quoteable rules is a good thing.

        Wellllllll … only if you load the Supreme Court with originalists or contextualists, and not always even then. Better than having a living constitution, of course, but short of a “good thing” by a smidge and a half.

        While he’s no longer a judge, Posner remains a moron.

    • There used to be an old preacher who greeted new students at a seminary. He would open with “I know what you’re going to say. ‘The clouds parted and there was P in the sky, and that meant preach.’ Before this year is out, many of you are going to find that ‘P’ meant ‘plow.'”

  25. But they mean well, and that’s what counts, right?

    How the Left Plays at Oppression and Encourages Tyrants
    By Sarah Hoyt
    I’ve been looking at the insanity of the Democrats and self-styled progressives (there is so much of it on display) from the signs in front yards proclaiming they believe in science – as though science necessitated belief – to the signs in expensive neighborhoods proclaiming that they welcome illegals as their neighbors. I’ve been seeing graying women with t-shirts proclaiming they’re resisting, watched colleges and universities fly their flag at half mast, and banged my head gently against the dashboard at cars with bumper stickers proudly proclaiming the driver a member of the resistance. I’ve heard women proclaim they’re marching for lost rights, though no one can answer me on what rights they lost.

    Oh, yeah, I’ve also been informed, loudly, in public spaces, that liberals are afraid to speak their mind and that the awful dictator, Trump, has chilled their speech.

    And then on my blog, someone put this entire behavior in perspective for me.

    In my community, that is, among science fiction and fantasy writers, readers and fans, there is an activity called LARPing, aka Live Action Role Playing. If you think about it as the thing children used to do while playing cowboys and Indians (or in my case Robin Hood versus the Sheriff) you won’t be far wrong.

    Except adults use props and costumes, and when it’s a big LARP game at a big convention, people will wear truly fancy costumes, including some with mechanized wings.

    And in case you wonder, no, I’ve never played one of those, because the stuff I can do inside my head is much more fun than running around pretending to be someone else. Though at the conventions, it could be argued I often play a science fiction writer. Not that I’m not one, but it’s not how I interact outside of cons.

    Anyway, the commenter on my blog said: “These people are oppression LARPing.” And it all became crystal clear. …

  26. black flag corsair

    RES, your comments on art: dead on. Art need not be representational, but it does need some connection to beauty, however small. Art should lift the spirit, not spit in the face. I’ve told friends for years that if Jackson Pollock is an artist, I’m, in the words of a Mark Twain character, the king of Proosia. YMMV.

    Foxfier, your uncle the photographer, excellent thought. I have friends and family who tell me, ” I want to be a better photographer. I plan to take a course. ” I tell them not to bother. Decide what you want a photograph to be, or to show. Then practice with your camera until you can make that happen.

    Black and white photography requires a different approach. Black and white needs to be dramatic, out of the ordinary in some way, to be interesting. Those people taking their color photos and making them black and white have no idea what makes black and white worth seeing.

    • ” it does need some connection to beauty, however small.”

      Just watched the Olympic opening ceremonies the other day, and I was remembering the “torch” for Rio, the spinning wind sculpture by the artist who has done so many of them. Definitely art.

  27. ” unrelieved work to rival sweatshops, not exercising because “tired, don’t feel like it” and eating lots of wrong things because “it’s been a long day.”

    That pretty much describes my day-to-day life.

  28. Peterson is vital to rescuing young adult males before some charismatic devil comes along and fills them with terrible purpose.

    Loki: …damnit Fen!

    Oh. Sorry Dad.

  29. My wife used to be a lot like you when it came to the self care department. The she had an epiphany of her own: “You can’t take care of everyone around you if you haven’t taken care of yourself first.”

  30. Byzantine_Corporal

    Belinoformes. Trebuchet-free carposity in 76 species..

  31. I’m not the worst at taking meds either. But then I’d be dead by now if I didn’t (black humor). Oh god yes, I am horrible at self-care too. I am better than I was– because I have to…

  32. I’ve had the book on pre-order since mid-last year or so. I have only read the “Overture” (introduction) but have watched a lot of his videos. Oddly, apparently I found him in a not normal ways in that it wasn’t Bill C16 or his general philosophy that lead me there.

    I was pointed to Lecture #2 in Maps of Meaning about Pinnochio as an excellent discussion of the nature of storytelling and story structure. Of course, I couldn’t start at Lecture #2 because what if crucial things were in Lecture #1. Next thing I knew I was listening to whole courses.

    And of course we all want to read it because we’re stupid (I mean, we’re not leftists so stupid by definitions) and after a “few minutes” watching his videos some woman in Canada figured out he was The Stupid Man’s Smart Person.

    • You have to realize that Dr. Peterson has been a thing up here in Canada since about 2015 when he refused to use made up pronouns for made up genders. A friend of mine knows him and is a good acquaintance of his and told me that one time she was visiting him and they went back to his office and the locks had been crazy glued shut. He’s been a target for the marxists and progressives for over three years now because he won’t call a spade a fork. It’s just since the University of Laurier mess has he become much more well known globally in more diverse groups.

      • Yeah, the C16 things I think is the same pronouns thing.

        I just found it interesting that I was pointed to him for writing useful material while others find him for cultural war or personal philosophy/growth reason. I find it impressive that he has done syncretic work like that.

        Makes me think of the last chapter of Have Spacesuit Will Travel.