As you guys know — or not, though those of you who read the Dyce Dare series probably know — I have a very odd sense of humor.
Sure, it overlays other people’s sense of humor to an extent, or Dyce’s series wouldn’t make me so much. But mostly it’s off on its own little island, dancing around and mooning bewildered passerbyes.
It will help you understand my sense of humor if you realize I almost died when older son started doing an history of the “lost seven states” of America, starting with the great state of Nwadna who moved to Italy, in embarrassment over the civil war. It now lives in a third floor walkup, with a window box, and takes in wash to make ends meet.
I know for most people that’s too weird to be funny, because I tried it on you guys once and you were worried for my sanity. But for me, the out-there nature of the insanity made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. (And yes, older son knows how to get to my funny bone. It amuses him.)
So of course, when this hit my newsfeed This Student Failed Her Assignment Because Her Professor Said “Australia Isn’t A Country”it was all but guaranteed that I’d have to do a post about why there is no Australia.
Note that this was not the Professor’s contention. Apparently her madness was of a lesser and distinctly unfunny degree.
From the post:
But the professor still wasn’t convinced. In her lecturing reply, which Arnold provided to BuzzFeed News, the professor doubled down on her Australia-denialism:
I will gladly re-examine your week 2 milestone project report.
But before I do I want you to understand that any error in a project can invalidate the entire research project.
Research is like dominoes, if you accidentally knock over one piece the entire set will also fall.
Australia is a continent; it is not a country. That error made it nearly impossible for you to accurately complete your week 2 research outline correctly.
As I mentioned above I will look over your week two paper once again and see if you earned more credits than I gave you.
The problem with the kind of insight the professor demonstrated is, of course, that like lifting the corner of the veil, it gives us a tantalizing glimpse that makes us want to see under it altogether.
And in this case, the problem is that it started me thinking.
Think about it, a continent where everything wants to kill you, and which nonetheless has inhabitants? What sense does that make? Oh, and their best known animal is a photogenic giant rat who is …. a marsupial? And can box? Right. And people who live there are like uninhibited Britishers who continuously brag about their big knives? Yeah, that’s likely. Couldn’t they at least have chosen the French? I mean, they’re more likely to brag about their phallic objects.
You’ll say, but Sarah, surely you have friends from Australia or who immigrated to Australia and naturalized.
Sure. But I wasn’t there to see them grow up in Australia, was I? Or there to see them live in Australia now?
I’m not sure where Kate Paulk actually grew up, though given her sense of humor is even odder than mine, perhaps a Mars colony they just never told us about.
And Dave Freer has clearly found a little piece of Eden and since he doesn’t want us all to tramp in and destroy it, he pretends he’s in Australia, which is a creation of novelists and movie makers and never existed. Heck, the kangaroo (And what name is that?) was probably made up by Disney in the same spirit they “filmed” the “suicide” of the lemmings.
Seriously, think through the series of improbabilities that is Australia, and the answer will be plain to you. Like the great state of Nwadna and its disappearance, the fact Australia is an hoax is one of those things that them who control history have tried to hide from you.
But that’s okay. Your eyes have been opened, and your tinfoil hat set at a jaunty angle.
#thereisnoaustralia #wakeuppeople #educateyourself