I Am Alive

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

Apparently my life was getting boring so this morning, in the shower, it seemed a good idea to have a cardiac episode.

Now, I sort of assumed this was my body being my body and giving it attention would just encourage it, but my husband doesn’t have the jaundiced view I have and insisted on driving me to emergency.

There seems to be something wrong with the electrical part of my heart and typing this is really frustrating because I have a sensor on my middle left finger.  Anyway there’s something about  a circus rhythm.  (I hate clowns.)

I had planned to work today, d*mn it.

I feel stupid and guilty for letting my body get out of line and encouraging it in its nonsense.  But they’re keeping me under observation till tomorrow, and I can’t even type with this thing on my finger.  And I’m worrying my family.

So.  That’s where I am.  More when I  can type.

279 thoughts on “I Am Alive”

  1. Brian Blessed voice: “SARAH’S ALIVE???”

    All kidding aside, glad to see you’re alive and (mostly) well.

    2. G’Dammit. Sarah. It’s De-fucking-cember. We have places to go & things to do and goddammit. It’s December. Tell your body to get itself back together again. We’ll pay attention to it in the new year.

      I need a cig.

      Sarah. I really enjoy catching up with you at O’Dark Thirty on Instapundit.

    3. “Sarah we love you but we only have twenty-three minutes to save the Earth!”

      Seriously, I hope you get better.

      1. So my conciseness wanders off to the punch bowl. Sarah we love you. ‘Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue.’ Oh? There must have been a change of government in Portugal. Yes, Sarah, we love you. I, seriously hope you get better, too.

  3. Dear esteemed hostess:

    Get well soon.

    We look forward to your being able to type*.

    *I don’t know what you call this above, but, hey, whatever…

      1. Formula Challenge! Shouldn’t that be: Alive > Small Potatoes?

        Although, small potatoes, rubbed lightly with olive oil or butter, sprinkled with herbs, a little garlic, some freshly ground black pepper and a little sea salt then roasted in the oven are really tasty …

          1. Let a professional mathematician handle this.

            Alive > Small Potatoes for all values of Potato where Potato > 0, or we can rewrite this as

            Alive > Small Potatoes > 0 > Dead where Potato is a member of the positive real numbers. (Things are complex enough as it is.)

            Seriously, Sarah, take it easy and feel better.

  9. She lives! And she better keep on living, dammit, so give your body whatever it needs because it’s what carries your brain around.

        1. We should be careful: some people might have terrifying ideas about what “getting a body” means.

          2. I suspect that Athena would be VERY upset with her. I really don’t think that Sarah wants Athena that upset with her. It could be bad.

  10. Jerry Pournelle types with two fingers, as do I after my stroke. It is slower, but eventually gets the message out.I hope you can return to your usual energy soonest so you can take long walks again and think about shifters and bfoomers.

    1. My Aunt, in her prime, typed executive secretary speeds with hunt and peck-two fingers mode. Drove her typing teachers nuts.
      Years later, I’d be driving from race tracks while she typed stories on a laptop, and she sounded like a fast touch typist.

    2. Wow, I can use my whole left hand! See, Sarah, we are thankful for what we can do, no regrets about what we can’t do.

  15. Get well soon. We want to see you at LibertyCon next year.

    And there may be something about more books that need finishing . . .

  16. Bodies will be bodies. Ignore them at your peril; they don’t usually answer to your wishes. Whatever you were doing instead of typing, it worked. Glad to see you’re still alive.

    1. Telling your body to STFU really doesn’t work so well after one’s put a number of miles on it. I’m glad your husband is sane enough to ignore that theory!

      1. I just read some sections of it aloud, to support my argument that I feel a sense of kinship with Sarah. The other party laughed, and bought the argument.

        I have a mild pain insensitivity to start with. I keep on discovering that ‘ignore it until it quits’ doesn’t work, and that physical problems are obnoxiously limiting.

        1. Always a bother, this limiting mortality. That’s not good news, considering that’s been my habit, to dare my body to fail me. There’s always something needing done, and someone needing a hand, so’s a body doesn’t really have *time* to go all wonky. Even when it happens anyway.

  17. Yeah! Get well soon, please. I don’t want to have to break into my stash of tacky get-well cards to find one for you.

  18. My roommate had one of those the other day–she was minding her own business and an invisible elephant decided to sit on her chest. They kept her for observation for a day and couldn’t find any evidence of damage.

  20. Darn it Sarah, pay attention to your health! When your body is telling you something, don’t ignore it. We need you around for a while longer, girl.

  22. Maybe it’s a good thing all the crap and the double move kept you from getting your books out. That might have upped your fame quotient enough for 2016 to take more than a glancing blow at you. Just keep your head down until New Year’s.

    1. That or for lessons for Fluffy to flame a little more steadily to power the boiler for a generator. Since the nuclear plants at the Secret Lair of the BbESP are powering the super coffee maker, and the planetarium, and the cross-time observation system, and the heater and de-frosters, and the warmers for the minion pool, and the reading lights in the libraries, and the projectors for the theaters, and the . . .

  25. Welcome to the world where people like me–a cardiologist–are your best friends. Or more specifically, you will get to know an electrophysiologist (the ringmaster of your circus rhythm), who will get to know your heart from the inside out.
    You will be a front-line witness to some of the best and most effective technology modern medicine has to offer. And it may very well be that your problem will be completely cured without the need for drugs or implanted medical devices.
    My prayers are with you on this journey.

    1. Had to look that one up, myself. Didn’t hear them call it “circus rhythm” when I had an episode some years back. Of course, they knew I was from a medical-type family, so they called it supraventricular tachycardia. Which sounds scary… but is usually not; and very treatable (from what I’ve read since – although I’ve not had another strong episode in, hmmm, five or six years and only had the one then).

      Anyway – very relieved that it seems to be a “minor” thing. Crossing the fingers that it is.

      (AND – good job, Dan! We are VERY glad that you listen a bit more carefully to what Sarah’s body is trying to tell her!)

  28. Remember Sarah, as I said earlier you are NOT allowed to die on you. 😀

    1. Grumble Brumble.

      That should have been “you are NOT allowed to die on us”. :embarrassed grin:

      1. Actually, the first one was pretty good. 🙂

        RCPete, sharing a body with a ticker that’s fond of AFIB. Whee. (Cardiologist says: “keep up with the warfarin so it doesn’t kill you, and see me if it gets really painful.” Thanks, I think.)

        1. I’ve always been suspicious that one of the cardiologists’ favorite drugs is rat poison… “Here, take these, they’re good for you.”

          [looks at bottle suspiciously]

          1. There is a maxim among nuclear warfare planners: “Pick the least awful option; in the area these plans cover, there are no good ones.”

            Definitely applies elsewhere.

          2. One keeps a careful eye on the dose… ‘Sides, after all that scare about dihydrogen monoxide, who cares about a little rat poison?

          3. Funny, my father likes calling it rat poison. Perhaps the joke helps make up for his having to have salad — and the same amount of salad — every day.

  29. Glad to hear you’re doing better Sarah.

    “I feel stupid and guilty for letting my body get out of line and encouraging it in its nonsense.”

    I will note at this time that you only get -one- body, and without it you don’t get to play here with us. So treating it as an adversary, while tempting, may not be the best plan. Just my two cents worth, as a physical therapist. I’ve seen this type of thing pretty often.

    Swim with the current, not into it.

    1. Always listen to your PT. You may learn to love them as they alternately love and bully you back to your new best, but part of you will always wish that you hadn’t needed to meet them.

      2. No! Do NOT always listen to your PT! A friend recovering from shoulder surgery had it all undone because the PT had him exceed the amount of weight his doctor said he should lift. NEVER assume the PT is always right. Always double check and speak up if it exceeds what the doctor said.

        1. Make sure your therapist and the doctor are on the same page. Sadly, the various members of your medical team will NOT always talk to each other, because of time, HIPAA, and /or laziness.

        2. Sorry to see that. My experience with PTs for myself and my son has been fantastic. Love those folks.

        3. Kevin, your post brings up an interesting point in philosophy of PT. Broadly speaking, there’s two camps. Call them the “Push Ahead” camp and the “Gardener” camp.
          Push Ahead can be thought of as the no-pain-no-gain crowd, they always like to lean into the therapy and get the patient to make progress as fast as they can. This method has it’s place, and can be beneficial. Do the exercise, strengthen the weak muscle groups, don’t baby it.

          I’m more of a gardener. Some place in Europe they make walking sticks by tying branches into a form and letting it grow that way. That’s more what I try to do. The thing that’s broken didn’t get that way overnight, you’re not going to fix it overnight. Exceptions are things like joint replacements, which are all-at-once type things. Even those, the challenge should be following along -behind- the healing, no building of maximum effort until after the thing has had a chance to grow into itself.

          At some point one does got to the place where maximum effort is required to improve the patient’s function, but I find generally if its hurting you’re doing it wrong. Discomfort, sure. Fiery pain? No.

          But then I’m not a push ahead guy. They’re all shaking their heads at me right now. Hi girls! [cheeky wave]

          When in doubt, as for a second opinion. Usually not from somebody in the same office.

          1. That’s nice, but it’s really an issue of knowing the medical limitations of the patient. Had my friend’s PT known he wasn’t to lift over X pound, she wouldn’t have had him try to lift over X pounds – I hope.

            You can’t count on them knowing. Once, after a doctor told us they were discontinuing medication that day on one of ours, a nurse came in to administer the said medication. I mentioned what the doctor said, got “It’s on the chart” spiel, asked if they would check, and she did. She came back and apologized: The chart hadn’t been updated. Never assume, as my friend did, that everyone is on the same page.

            1. “Never assume, as my friend did, that everyone is on the same page.”

              But now, thanks to Obamacare, medical records are digitized and we need never again worry about such errors. That right there is worth at least half the two trillion taxpayers are spending on it.

  30. Sarah, what you need is a kitten. A kitten makes everything better. I just got up from a (very) short nap I took to get rid of a migraine. Having a kitten on my lap made it work, I’m absolutely sure. I’ll drop one by tomorrow. . . 8^)

      1. Of course, if you’d rather wait until you feel better. . . but then you wouldn’t need a kitten! 8^)

        Yes, I am diabolical and evil.

        Seriously, these are the ones I told you about a couple of months ago. They are the most cuddling kittens I’ve seen in quite a while. Two males, one female. The female is the one with a missing foot. Not very big for two months old. . . Mother isn’t very big, either. They’re weaned, but we’re not sure they’re really litter-box trained yet.

        1. Puppies are good too. Get one later. they are good walking companions. Refuah Shleymah/Best wishes for a complete recovery!

    2. I have this mental image of Peter and Dorothy Grant’s senior cat sneaking up on their Kitten Of Unusual Size, dragging a shipping box and packing tape . . .

      1. That was a regular feature on the Garfield animated cartoon ages ago. Garfield would get Nermal into a box and ship her to somewhere far away (Abu Dhabi, IIRC).

  33. Here’s to hoping it is a temporary thing (I’ve had add heartbeats that did painful things but nothing was needed to be done other than “You might do better with more exercise” etc) and doesn’t require becoming a cyborg.

    Get Well

  38. Warn your Docs that Doc Epador is watching your six. Anything happens to you, or any funny billing practices, and I’ll put CMS all over them.

  43. Very glad it wasn’t worse, and also glad you didn’t ignore it. I’ve had a couple episodes myself – not bad enough to feel like a “real” heart attack but worrisome enough – and I know the temptation to ignore it and hope it’s nothing is strong. Better to be safe. My father ignored his first heart attack until he had his second one – eight hours later; that one almost killed him.

      3. Sounds like mine, yep. I only went dark grey, and nearly faceplanted a love seat. Could have seriously hurt myself in the shower even without a blackout.

        You take care, Sarah – and listen to your cardiologist (and actually follow his or her advice, OK?) I’ve only had a very few small episodes of SVT since the big one, and have cut all of those off at the pass by actually believing what the body is trying to tell me. It is annoying to slow down when there are a jillion things demanding my attention right now – but I don’t want another big (or bigger) one.

    2. Aye. Fellow I know had an issue (type: nontrivial) a few years back. Cardiologist: “Normally, people who wait as long you did, don’t get to see me.”

      1. It’s not always the folk you’d expect, either. Someone I worked with came in one day with plants he said he’d bring two weeks later. Turns out he was scheduled for a triple bypass because he’d gotten short of breath on one of his 50-mile bike rides and the doctors found he had full-blown heart disease and diabetes. If he’d had a heart attack, they tyold him, “you’d be dead before you hit the floor.”

        As a follow-up, he’s fine, still biking his 60-something age in miles on his birthday, and off all medications with the blessing of his doctors. (Severe dietary changes and rigorous monitoring.)

    3. They can be sneaky, too. My mother knew a woman who was having a physical and the doctor asked her how long the heart attack had been.

      That was her first inkling she had had one.

  44. If they’re telling you ‘circus rhythm’, that probably means one of a couple of types of supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). The bad news is that it’ll probably happen again. The good news is that it’s generally not life-threatening (although really annoying) and that it’s usually curable.

    1. I have had two episodes of SVT, about six months apart sixteen years ago. Hasn’t happened since. In my case it may have had something to do with too low potassium levels. But from what I remember it can also be connected with thyroid issues.

      1. And getting older. And stress levels. And letting yourself get too tired. And…

        Paying attention, realizing when the heart is getting “too excited” for the situation at hand, and taking a complete break has kept mine at the “no problem at all” level since the one bigger one that sent me to the ER.

  46. Had a friend who spent more than her share of time in the hospital. She had a stuffed animal she named “Naked”, so that when an attractive doctor or nurse was in the room, she would drop it on the floor, then she would point, and say, “Would you get Naked for me?”

  47. Take care of yourself! My heart decided 2 years ago last June that it didn’t want to be on vacation in Dillon after all or do the fun things we were planning on doing…so it had an “episode”. Urgent care visit, ER visit and lifeflight to Denver later…I was in St.Andrew’s. So take care of yourself and obey. Hugs.

  50. As the other commenters said, you only get one body. Unless you are Toddy MacFarlane.
    Take care.

  52. RE: Welcome to the Party, Pal

    Been there. Done that. And now I’m one with the Borg.

    First readout after the implant, my cardiologist said, “Whoa!”

    I asked what’s ‘whoa’ about?

    He said that shortly after 5 am, the pacemaker took over for five minutes. I asked what day. He said it was a Monday at 5:16 am.

    I told him, “Oh. I was probably on the elliptical skier. I didn’t notice a thing.”

    He said, “That’s how it’s supposed to work.”

  53. As someone who greatly appreciates your writing (novels and such) and your ability to communicate so well such clearly well thought out rational ideas about what it means to be an adult free human ( I really wish natural born Americans had your grasp of human rights) I hope you get well soon and continue to be a voice of reason for all right thinking fellow citizens of this once great country. I really do enjoy and respect you and wish you a quick and complete recovery. Godspeed Miss Sarah.

      1. Yup Pulse and oxygenation (SpO2?) sensor would be me bet. They’re a nuisance if they make you keep them on when you try to sleep.

        Good to hear you’re OK Sarah. And Thank you to Dan. That’s one of the reasons why we have spouses. That is to tell us “No, you need to go to the doctor/emergency room NOW” when we get stubborn or in over our heads. My wife calls it the spiritual gift of nagging…

        1. Actually, the self contained pulse oximeters are pretty cheap these days, though not shower proof to my knowledge. I have one for use while flying. Might be a good thing to have around Casa Hoyt.

          Oh, and since I was offline yesterday and missed all this fun, belated get better right away!

  56. I’ve sometimes wondered about you blogging on Instapundit all hours of the night, regular sleeping times are so important, decide on a reasonable bed time and stick to it. Also get some advice from Glenn on weight training, it’s really the best thing you can do for your body. I expect you know all that. Hope it was just a passing fancy on your body’s part.

    1. Well, there is that thing called “pre-scheduled posting.” And she’s a couple timezones after Glenn. So maybe she’s not really staying up all that late. Maybe.

  58. With many blessings, I wish for a full recovery for you. Perhaps your body is merely overreacting to us finally having a cold snap?

  60. Ordinarily, it’s men who try to wish-away symptoms (most of us are stupid that way).

    I am -so- happy to hear your husband is not ordinary.

    Humor the shamans; let them shake the bones and blow the smoke across the room, and sing their songs of magic words.

    But get out of the hospital as soon as you can. Hospitals are dangerous – full of sick people.

    1. Family members often are quicker to demand treatment than the patient. I know a woman who had told her three daughters, growing up, that if you think you might need to go to the ER — you do. A couple days after a fall, she said over supper that she was thinking maybe she should go. All three girls chorused that rule. And she wasn’t persuaded. (What persuaded her was vomiting after the meal.)

  64. I’m glad you are doing good but please, next time call 911. Really, unless you are out in the middle of nowhere they will be there pretty fast and paramedics are very good at handling cardiac issues. And when you get to the ED nobody will be asking you to fill out forms. Lastly nobody can give you CPR in the car.

      1. That, and you’ll generally get to see a doctor ASAP if you come in by ambulance. If you drive in, your wait (locally) might be a couple of hours.

        Emergency room “service” around here makes dealing with Comcast look like fawning servility.

          1. Triage works extremely well. 20 years ago tomorrow (12/4) I had 2 symptoms of a heart attack. Since I’m a former volunteer EMT-P, I did not do the the “it’s probably nothing” and instead had then-pregnant loving spouse take me to the ER. Triage nurse put me to the head of the line. Treated as though a cardiac event (worst-case triage), blood work, EKG, etc. BP elevated, but EKG normal. Remained in ER approximately 6 hours by which time all symptoms had abated. Considered anomalous, sent home with instructions to return if symptoms occurred, or to call 911 if they seemed worse or other symptoms in the cardiac cluster appeared.

            12 hours later, same two symptoms. Back to ER (with a second child on the way, no time for heroic stoicism). Triaged again immediately, and right back to the front of the line. Same result, EKG normal, CPK/MB negative, no other symptoms, no history for me or family history, etc. Symptoms abated spontaneously, scheduled for followup next morning including ultrasound and cardiac stress test.

            2:00 AM, symptoms again. By this point, spouse and son#1 really tired (as was I). Back to hospital again. Triaged again by same crew as last time. Sent to the head of the line for the third time. Blood taken while EKG was being hooked up. Tech runs a strip, sticks his head out thru the curtain, and calls out “Doctor to exam 4! Doctor to exam 4!” Crap, that’s NEVER good. MD comes in, looks at the strip, and says “Good thing you came back. You were a paramedic, right ? I see QRS indications of ischemia, congratulations, now you’re having a heart attack.”

            The clot-buster tPA was my friend, however. Administered immediately, that stuff is amazing. 20 years later, I’m still here and have not had any further cardiac events.

            I recount this story both to illustrate that hospitals really do triage well — they kicked me to the head of the line even after two apparent “false-alarms” — and to reiterate what others have said: If you think ‘I should probably go to the ER’ stop THINKING about it and just GO. I’m still a patient of minor note at the cardiology practice I go to, the “Man who kept coming back to the hospital” and they use my story to show the same thing.

            So take care of yourself Sarah. And if you have a lingering condition, take it and the instructions from your doctor seriously.

            Lastly, take heart that if you simply HAD to have a cardiac event (it’s all the rage, doncha know?), it’s a much better time in history to have one then it was even 30 years ago.

  65. “I Am Alive”

    Harrumph. See that you stay that way, young lady.

    As if we didn’t all of us know why they put that shield on your middle finger.

    1. Housemate’s father apparently woke up in the middle of a surgery, perfectly lucid, but not feeling any pain. He started making running commentary (he also being in the profession) and they didn’t DARE try to knock him out again – fortunately when they were finished he suddenly went back to being sedated.

      1. A friend woke up during a lung transplant and they couldn’t put him back under. It spooked the surgeon so much he finished sewing in the first lung and closed him up.

  71. Glad there is no need for sirens. And once more, a rousing chorus of “stupid beta meat sack”! It should not worry our BbESP like that. (Maybe that’s what Greebo was trying to tell you? The diagnostic error code?) My body likes to give me false alarms. It thinks it is funny to give me pain in the area of the heart–when I have a post-lunch mint. Turns out my stomach valve doesn’t like peppermint, and the nerves that report such are code-sharing with the cardiac area. STUPID BETA MEAT SACK!

    1. How to get a fast trip to the EKG machine: heartburn + anxiety attack. Doesn’t matter age or sex. BTDT twice, plus an ECG. Normal.

          1. I don’t have this problem….. because they take one look at my pelt and break out a razor. Can’t get enough skin contact otherwise.

            1. When I went in for the scheduled stress test, they used the razor. When i went in with chest pains, they didn’t bother, just worked the contacts around to get skin contact.

      2. Yep. I had two heart attacks, caused by a combination of sleep apnea and acid reflux. The cardiologist said that stress builds up over time until the heart says “screw it” and ragequits for a while. (well, he actually talked about cardio-pulmonary feedback and oxygen levels and stuff, but that’s what I got out of it…)

        Fortunately there was nothing wrong with my heart, other than the usual arrythmia most people have. A CPAP machine helped out with the apnea, and after deciding I didn’t like the side effects of the anti-reflux meds, I jacked the bed up so I sleep on an inclined plane. I have to keep pulling up the covers all night and drag the mattress back to the top each morning, but it works.

      3. Technique 2 for get a fast trip to the EKG. Be a morbidly obese 50 year old male wheezing like a calliope and say “My chest is really uncomfortable feels like there is an elephant sitting on it”. It was just bad bronchitis, but yeah I was on the EKG faster than you can imagine.

        1. If you prefer to have your brains scrambled, show up at the ER reporting that you had a fall two days ago (note: you don’t have to have your head hit), and since then you’ve had stiff neck, headache, and nausea. Then immediately demonstrate the later in the nearest sink.

          No, she didn’t’ have a concussion. They checked her VERY THOROUGHLY and can swear to that.

        2. Technique 3: Say to the EMT crew “I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I’m having chest pain”… apparently the rule of thump is that the quieter the statement, the worse the patient.

    2. Yeah, I was told that apparently the cardiac symptoms I had could be linked to just heartburn.

      Then I developed veneous insufficiency during pregnancy (in the arm, not where it’s usually found, in the legs) and it’s kind of stayed there ever since.

      So I dunno any more.

      1. About 20 years ago I had an episode of chest pain. Called the ambulance and went to the ER, got a catheter stuck up my femoral vein to take a look, and they decided it was probably just heartburn. POd the wife. They totally missed the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, until it became obstructive about 10 years later.

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  74. My cousin says 1) weren’t you on steroids? and 2) have the doctors look at that, in case they super-dosed you.

    Pretty dang sure that they are ALREADY looking over all the meds and stuff, but you know how momma hens fuss.

    (I, of course, would NEVER have suggested this, based on the exact same guy that has her worried. Nope. Totally not. Also, watch out for the third story pigs.)

  76. Step 1) Get well. Step 2) Stay well. Step 3) Write when you find work or, if you rather, work when you find write. Step 4) Stay well.

    1. That is simply anti-zombie slander spread by the Pro-Life Lobby. The Democrat Party promises full voting rights for zombies and commands your support for their agenda.

      2. Social Justice for the Alternately Vital!

        (Sorry, I had way too much fun at that panel at LibertyCon a couple of years ago, and I wish they would do it again)

  81. Please stay alive. We expect it, silly fans that we are, silly friends that we are. And thank your husband for being protective.

    1. When I had the opportunity to meet them the thing I noticed about Dan was the loving concern as he watched Sarah.

  90. Get well soon, and really, really focus on what you can do without making your body revolt again.
    Family first, then sleep, then survival-type things (food, laundry, cats, etc), then writing (just because I am selfish and want more blogging and more books!), and if there is not time for more, delegate or design around it. Others have noticed that you seem to be spreading yourself too thinly.
    I am still waiting for your next book, so I will need to send that cats some kibble now instead.
    JPDev

  91. Husbands are not only entitled to pay attention to their wive’s bodies … Ensign! Run that through the Port Rephrasor Array!

    Aye aye, Captain!

    A husband is not only entitled to pay attention to his wife’s body, it is mandatory. Do not berate Dan for doing his job. Instead, take revenge by doing the same to him.

    Note: In the preceding paragraph all sexual/gender assignments are for purpose of illustration and convenience only and no gender-norming of roles should be implied nor inferred.

    Note: the preceding Note is for information purposes only and any endorsement of the expressed view is contrary to the explicit intent of the Writer.

  95. Dear Sarah,
    You may just require a pacemaker one which I had implanted six weeks ago. I am an older gentleman (73) but I have an Air Force buddy who had one implanted 15 years ago and two upgrades. Pretty neat procedure and common today.

    Do your best not to worry. You are going to be fine and your family will be at ease also. If you get a pacemaker you will not even notice it is there. I do pray for friends and family and even others who do not know me. God will always be with you. Have faith. Slow down. Be grateful. Love others and yourself. You are going to be fine.

    A friend you’ve never met.

    John Greene

  96. Sorry to hear you aren’t well, not only because I like you but we need as many sane people above ground as possible these days

  97. Hopefully the doctors will get this sorted out quickly. Offering you prayers. Get well soon.

    1. Um . . . offering prayers for you. Not to you. You’re pretty cool, but I don’t know if I’d rate you at deity status quite yet. (Blast my inability to type and think simultaneously)

  102. Sheesh….. We all know you’re spending the time gathering material for a future book involving a hospital scene.

    You get too much done as it is, try and convince yourself to relax a little!

    After all, one of the markers for high intelligence is a certain level of efficient laziness…

  103. Posting some get-well wishes here, then doing as some of the above mentioned, and making a stop at Amazon to send some sales your way.

    Get well soon!

  104. I haven’t read the preceding comments, and so might be repeating already said — several times even. But don’t feel sheepish. I’m a man who had a heart attack at 42 and as they informed me, I “presented like a woman,” which is to say I did not have the elephant-on-the-chest and neck/arm pain that are the stereotypical [male] symptoms. I had a not-too-painful-but-unremitting pressure in my chest and some serious sweats. Even after doing an ECG on me, the symptoms were so ambiguous they were still unsure if I was infarcting. That’s inFARCTing, son! It wasn’t till a blood test detected a hormone in my blood which only appears as a result of heart tissue death that they decided I WAS in the middle of a heart attack. Sadly, that period of indecision allowed a significant portion of my heart to sustain damage, and though I’ve had a VERY fortunate 20 years since, scar tissue buildup on the dead heart muscle is coming back to haunt me. Point is, better be sheepish and alive than stoic and dead. Particularly considering the reality of the kind of ambiguous symptoms a woman can experience. Watch out for yourself. I’m no SF fan, but we can’t afford to lose a single sensible conservative these days.

  106. Glad that it doesn’t appear to be worse. Please ask your son to keep an eye on your husband; I learned to my cost that the stress on the one not in crisis can sneak up on them. Please get better soon. You’re in my prayers.

  108. “I feel stupid and guilty for letting my body get out of line and encouraging it in its nonsense.”

    I sympathize deeply on that score, and yes, being grumpy about it is fine.

    Sending lots of love and prayers and well wishing for you to get better soon T_T

  109. *hugs* You know we love ya, right? And we don’t hold you to the standard that you hold yourself to! Get some rest, catch up on some reading… and fess up if someone sneaks you a jelly donut before the nurses freak at your blood-sugar readings!

  110. A character in Joe Haldeman’s Worlds has a stroke, and can only say yes, no, and shit.
    So cheer up dear Sarah, it could be worse.
    O que não mata engorda.

  111. The streak continues. I take it this is a new “most days alive” record for you? Well done Sweetie! Hope you set new records for years and years.

  112. Am I a bad man for worrying about the next Darkship book not being completed?

    Get better soon Sarah. And take it easy.

    *wanders off to Amazon to see what he’s missing on his kindle*

    1. Well part of me is wondering about the revised books Sarah was going to put on Amazon. 😉

      Of course, part of me isn’t a nice guy. 👿

      1. Well, at least you’re not asking for free ice cream; you’re asking for an opportunity to throw more money!

        But I’m pretty sure you don’t have to give Sarah any more encouragement on this topic. OTOH, if you have any spare teenagers or vacationing college students, who can read and take dictation for free? Yeah, that would probably help keep Sarah relaxed on the couch, while continuing the flow of places to throw money. They can put it on their resume as an internship.

        Make sure the teenagers bring along food money.

  113. Oh, Sarah! I’m so grateful you’re OK! I freaked out yesterday after coming back from meetings to find this out. Please, PLEASE take care of yourself better! You’re so loved by your family and friends!

    1. In my experience you can shove articles on studies proving the necessity of getting decent sleep and warning of the hazards of not sleeping in front of your sleep deprived loved one time and again and it does little but annoy.

      I have therefore concluded that one symptom of sleep deprivation is a noticeable inability to comprehend said articles. I admit that my sample pool has been small. I am now open to any available grants that would allow me to continue as well as expanded my test pool. I propose to start by traveling to Colorado and in order to observe a non-sleeping author in her natural habitat. 😉

      1. *wry* If you were hobbling around on a broken foot, and someone kept giving you articles that it was bad, wouldn’t it annoy you?

        Trouble sleeping can be caused by so many things that it’s almost impossible to pin down, but it’s not like the person that’s exhausted didn’t notice. Right up there with informing someone that’s fat that being fat can hurt their health.

        I know that sleep dep in my case is classic mom type– either I can’t sleep because I have Things To Do and am doing them, or I can’t sleep because I have Things To Do and I am not, I’m laying in bed.

        1. Well of course, you are right on the annoyance. sigh

          Yet trouble sleeping is not the same as denying you need sleep and teaching your body not to sleep. Warning: Parental not sleep, the Things To Do family you describe, can eventually become so habitual that you have to willfully break before it breaks you.

          1. Mom’s youngest is 30.

            She still hasn’t managed, and it doesn’t look like she will.

            This Does Not Bode Well for my managing it.

            This might be one of the reasons that women in her mom’s family tend to take up late-night praying/meditation.

            1. I went through a period of consistently waking up in the wee hours of the night unable to get back to sleep. I found that when I stopped trying to go back to sleep, but remained in bed praying through my list, I feel asleep before I finished. 🙂

              2. Yep.

                Either you fall asleep in the middle of praying, or you get praying done– add in prayers for the dead, and you can offer that up.

  115. Sarah, we thank the Gods great and small that you are still with us and typing. Let’s not repeat this anytime soon, ok?

  117. Do not ignore husband who just wants to keep you alive and well. Thank God you came through it ok. Please take it easy and get better. I left work apparently before this was on your blog and this is the first thing I looked up, typing with Booker the boy cat gnawing my knuckles.

  123. Jesus Christ on a crutch! 2016 was bad enough in the Dead Pool without adding you to the list. Take care of yourself and thank your husband for taking you in!

  124. Might want to check the weather forecast in the nether regions.

    “steve davidson on December 3, 2016 at 5:21 am said:
    Best wishes to Sarah Hoyt: sounds like they’re looking for irregularities (my wife was on a 7 day digital monitor for the same thing following her strokes – found nothing).”

    (Lest anyone accuse me of only picking the worst from File 770 to share here)

  127. Prayers and best wishes sent your way.
    Do get better. We miss you.
    And it’s hard to keep this crowd under control.

  128. Sarah, I posted news of your continued existence on my Facebook page. Speaking personally, I find that you are much more fun and valuable when you exist, than when you do not. So, in due consideration of the similar requirements and desires of your family and friends, please persist to exist.

  129. Praying for your swift escape from the building of scrubs, where in my experience they don’t scrub enough. 😉 and may I suggest a king Charles Cavaliers spaniel for joy and snuggles. Best cats we ever had ( they think they are, climb, lick, and talk to you.) Very glad to hear you are, please maintain that position? Love from the south.

  130. I’m so glad you didn’t ignore your warning signs. Here’s to hoping you recover quickly and well, and i hope discover the causes and treat/remove them so it doesn’t happen again! We don’t talk much (because I rarely have anything clever or wise to contribute to the rollicking conversations that occur here), but I look forward to your posts and exploring views I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. 🙂

    1. “I’m so glad you Dan didn’t ignore your warning signs.”

      Fixed it for you.

      “I rarely have anything clever or wise to contribute to the rollicking conversations that occur here”

      That hasn’t ever deterred me from posting comments, don’t let it deter you.

      1. It’s pretty intimidating, but I love reading the comments. Especially when they get snarky and full of banter. 🙂

        1. Thanks to the time lag enabled by the internet, not only is l’esprit d’escalier operable in virtual real time, so are the virtues of spellcheck and quipedit.

          On the internet, nobody can tell you took a sip of coffee, took a shower, went and fixed yourself a sandwich and returned to your keyboard with “What I should have said” at the tip of your typing finger.

          Jump on in, the water is awfully damned chill fine!

          1. Just make sure that if you want to dive into the minion pool, that the sea serpent isn’t in the way, and that you don’t go anywhere NEAR her gold.

            On second thought, we have a very nice pool in the rose garden.

            1. True. Stepping back and thinking before I speak is the greatest thing about conversing on the computer. 🙂 IRL I am prone to inane comments that make sense to me but get blank stares from everyone else who didn’t jump from A to Q and then back to F before commenting on Y. It was related, I swear!

              Pools are nice. Fewer things to eat me, and you can see the minnows coming. 🙂

              1. IRL I am prone to inane comments that make sense to me but get blank stares from everyone else who didn’t jump from A to Q and then back to F before commenting on Y. It was related, I swear!

                This is a thing that probably everyone here is familiar with. 😀

                1. (Stares haughtily down nose at Foxfier… wait, is that MY nose? Good gravy, how long IS… “I’ll take nose hairs for 200, Alex!)

                  I’m sure I have NO idea what you’re talking about. Hmph.

    1. N.B. for those wishing signed Kindle books by Sarah: send her an email at the address [2BProvided] and she will respond with a digital signature you can add to your Kindle.

      Offer not valid with other invalid offers, prohibited where void.

  133. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-34277960

    I think my original position was that, given the official criteria, the Nobel peace prize is no more than the due of certain US officials. Given the apparent unofficial criteria, Arafat, Annan, etc…, it turned out also appropriate to award it to Obama.

    It will be a travesty if the next Nobel peace prize is not awarded to Trump. In such event, I would urge him to consider nuking Oslo.

  137. Do not feel stupid and guilty — talk to yourself when you have those feelings. Contend with it. I contend with RA and I often feel mortified by it, but I do myself no favor by punishing myself for something that is out of my control. And neither do you. Save shame for when you’ve been shameful.

  138. Do not feel stupid and guilty — talk to yourself when you have those feelings. Contend with it. I contend with RA and often feel mortified by it, but I do myself no favor by punishing myself for something that is out of my control. And neither do you. Save shame for when you’ve been shameful.

  140. Pingback: Sarah Hoyt | Transterrestrial Musings

  141. “Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” ~ Count Rugen

    More: I applaud Dan’s caring assertion of need for medical intervention. (My wife’s cardiologist would too. 🙂 )

    Take care. Be well.

  143. I have had similar issues – both with my heart and my reluctance to go to see a doctor. It’s amazing the kinds of problems they can manage with the right meds and behavior. The important thing is to think of your medical issue as a new toddler… you learn pretty quickly the difference between “I’m cranky and I want attention” vs. “I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.” Trust what you feel and stay healthy, and God bless you.

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