“Last night I dreamed again of Manderley” is one of those iconic lines of English literature. Even if you’ve never heard of Manderley, it evokes a feeling of longing for something lost. The narrator goes on to describe how even in her dream Manderley is in ruins, and then to establish once and for all that there is no hope of return.
Rebecca is one of my favorite books. I think I first read it when I was twelve or thirteen. It is a foregone conclusion that I liked it, I suppose, since the main male character is based on the Athos archetype, with whom I’d fallen in love sometime before.
Years ago, when — I think — I’d just given birth to second son, I found a “sequel.” I think, us being broke at the time, I borrowed from the library. Thank G-d. It was a hot mess of feminism and stupidity, including the fact that in the end the main character feels threatened by her beloved husband, because, hey, he killed his first wife.
This completely misses the point of the very flawed main male character. Yes, he was misguided enough to kill for his ancestral honor, but that is not a “woman killer.” The tragedy of the character is that he was presented with the only circumstance in which he would kill, driven to it, and even though it destroyed him, he had to do it. Because the alternative was unbearable.
To reduce it to “he killed women” was an act of unforgivable stupidity. The fact that the author of the abomination also went on to kill the children of the male character’s sister and brother, or disfigure them or something equally horrible, just made me hate her with a stabby kind of hate, because clearly this author was one of the true devotees of grey goo. No shred of happiness might escape.
Tonight I dreamed again of the USA…
And there is no happy description I can follow that with. I haven’t actually voted yet. There are reasons for this. And however we end up, I’m not going into exile. I am a citizen of the United States, and the captain goes down with her ship.
I’m a writer. I can imagine dark. I can imagine much darker. I can’t imagine happy. Not after the next four years. Not after the next eight. Ask me again in twenty and I think we’ll be much, much better and if I’m around in forty, I’ll collect on my bet that in the end we win, they lose.
We’re just going to eat live slugs in the meantime.
And I find that in the end I’m my father’s daughter. I will not abandon the country I love, no matter how bad it gets. We just love different countries.
The question is if the USA will leave me. And it will, almost for sure. For a time at least.
Having decided I needed to vote against Hillary: no, it’s not her corruption. (What? You think it wasn’t there, before? Or that I was so stupid as not to know it? Or that the Clinton’s long time friend and crony, Donald Trump, doesn’t have some of that on him? Probably a lot of that on him.) It’s the press. The moment the sluice gates opened. The moment it became obvious that she has, at the very least, committed serious security breaches, if not sold our secrets to the highest bidder, the press started a drumbeat of “Donald Trump’s tax returns for 1990 MIGHT have used a shady dodge to avoid taxes.”
Oh, yes, yes, that is comparable to the festering mess of corruption and horror that is the Clinton foundation, or the Pay for Play schemes Hillary ran as secretary of state, or–
It was that, the chorus of coordinated deflection, the drumbeat of covering up for a woman who, frankly, has nothing to recommend her, that pushed me over.
I’m going to vote against Hillary Clinton in the only effective way I can.
In the same way that for months now, I’ve refused to say I’d vote for Trump because every time I considered he might be marginally less bad, I got assaulted by alt.right loonies, the latest of which came to my facebook page, and, without my ever saying anything about whom I was voting for, started calling me names and saying I was drunk.
In that same way I can see that Hillary not only has the power of the press, she has the power of a 1984 apparatus, which will smear and cover and attack for her, until people on the street who aren’t political addicts don’t know the truth.
There might have been a time it was safe to elect someone like that. That time ended September 2001, and it’s definitely not now. With Russia determined on expansionism, with China rattling sabers, and with the rest of the world doubled over and coughing their lungs out with the pneumonia our chill gave them, it is not a time for us to lack at least somewhat accurate ideas as to what is going on. A Praetorian guard of Presstitutes is very useful, and being Hillary means never having to say you’re sorry. Or indeed having to confront error.
Which is why she’s too dangerous, and I have to vote against her.
Even though I can’t bring myself to vote FOR Trump, having decided to use a vote for Trump to bring down Hillary, I brought myself to listen to his speeches.
First, I think I’ve spotted a “tell” of the sort that you learn about politicians. You know Obama’s “Make no mistake” which means he’s about to tell a whopper? I think Trump’s is “Believe me.”
Second, his understanding of economics, smeared microns thin might cover the head of a pin. His intent to take down Amazon is horrifying to this part-indie writer. Particularly when he’s doing it because they own the Washington Post and the Washington Post dissed him. His “Mexico will pay for the wall, believe me” borders on the deranged or delusional. And his promise to slap tariffs on goods, which will immediately become too expensive for Americans to buy, means he doesn’t understand how things work.
On the other hand, Hillary is promising free college, free health care, and other positive liberties which POSITIVELY require the enslavement of half the population. And the Press and the apparatus of entertainment and “culture” stands ready to aid and abet her in this mission which has no other end but the destruction of Western civilization. (Though she’s doing it to line her own pockets.)
With Trump, at least, we stand a chance (mind you, not guaranteed) that people will oppose his more ridiculous power grabs; that he won’t get it all his own way.
I’m fully aware that he is supported by a bunch of loonies who give a bad name to Republicans, and who in fact, are everything we’ve always told everyone conservatives weren’t.
I’m also aware he’s not conservative in any way, shape or form. All his instincts are statist. I wish I could say I decided to use him as a weapon against Hillary because I’ve become convinced he’ll listen to his advisors and do a halfway decent job.
This isn’t true. The only reason I’m willing to do this is that the media has proven themselves yet more craven and corrupt than even I expected.
Donald Trump will destroy the Republican Party. Hillary Clinton will destroy the country. I wasn’t even ever a Republican, and though I hate to lose the one organized (the Libertarians aren’t) focus of resistance to the left, there is no contest between which one to save.
Having made the decision (I haven’t actually voted yet, and won’t till the last minute, because I think that lessens the chance they’ll know the accurate number of votes they need to manufacture) I thought I’d keep it to myself, possibly forever. Maybe even get so drunk that I keep it FROM myself.
But then, over a very bad night, I realized that this makes my act of self-debasement futile. For it to mean anything; for it to actually stop the Clinton criminal machine from taking over the US, I need to explain and hopefully bring a few more along.
So I am doing that.
Now does it mean I’m going to disown you if you vote libertarian, constitutionalist, write in your cat’s name (be careful on that. In some states a write in means it’s a “spoiled ballot” and they won’t count down ticket either. Find out before you do it) or even vote for Hillary and all her empty promises, and all her false glamour?
This year there are no good choices. We each have to come to grips with our most basic values and based on those commit an act that can’t fail to injure anyone with a dose of moral principles.
Unless you’re gleefully voting for one of these scary clowns in order to injure the country and your countrymen, you’re still my friend, and we should definitely make a date to get drunk together, because there isn’t enough booze in the world to wash away this.
It’s impossible to tell if it will make any difference. It’s impossible to tell what the polls are actually saying, or if there is a vast contingent of Sarahs there, who cross over at the last minute.
What is possible to tell is that whoever wins this, we have our work cut out for us.
These should never have been the choices. Open primaries MUST die. The power of the media must be vacated. Fraud must be destroyed.
This means we have to get serious about voting. It has to stop being the freak show it is, with early voting, vote by mail, vote without ID, vote if you’re a pet with a legal address.
No other country in the world has this crazy system. And though we’re known to make crazy systems work, this doesn’t.
Do you think it is simply coincidence that the democrats winning the elections come from the most corrupt places in the US. Really, Arkansas and Chicago? What’s next? Detroit?
Every time I post this some of you — the younger ones — tell me without early voting they’d never vote because they have jobs and wha wha wha.
That’s nice. Pre-motor voter we had a system where you could show you can’t get off work, or whatever, and they would allow you to vote early. BUT you had to care enough to show sufficient hardship.
Yes, I know but “Fraud has not been proven.” Successful fraud ISN’T. Besides, look at what the press is doing for Hillary. If fraud HAD been proven, who would report it.
I think it’s safe to assume, humans being humans, if fraud is possible, fraud will happen.
And boy oh boy is fraud possible. It isn’t even difficult. Particularly with vote by mail. How hard is it to have a huge batch of vote by mail votes prepared, to replace, oh, half the vote? Is it a coincidence that every state that votes by mail goes Democrat? And that Republicans are forbidden from bringing legal action over election fraud? I don’t know. Hey, tell you what, there is this bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you cheap.
So, that needs to be cleaned up, or we’re all disenfranchised.
And then we need to get serious — really serious — about changing this culture and the dominance of the MSM. No matter who wins.
It will be more difficult under Hillary, because she is not only incompetent (come on guys, her husband pushed Motor Voter without any ever splashing on him) she is also malevolent, and she doesn’t like the US. Or western civilization.
Of the two crazy evil clowns, she’s the evil clown we can least afford.
Now excuse me, I’m going to take a shower with the wire stripping brush.