Things I Learned About Life From Watching Brazilian and Portuguese Soap Operas

1- The most effective way to kill a baby is to leave the window near his crib open at night.  He’ll be stiff and dead by morning.  (Sorry Robert and Marsh.  I keel you a lot.)

2- If you work too hard you’ll get a “drained brain.”

This will cause you to sing New York New York at your important meeting, then pass out.

3- You can kill any number of people on your way to success, and no one will notice, not even enough to have rumors about you.

4- Memory loss is WAY common.  I mean, you walk out your door and forget your name every other morning.

5- While suffering from memory loss you’ll fall in love with someone you hate.  EVERY TIME.  Preferably someone you hate who is married to one of your best friends.

6- The best way to avenge yourself on someone for anything ranging from trivial to heinous, is to create a really complicated plan that will eventually bring about their downfall.  Or yours.  Or… nothing, really.  But you have to try it.  Holy Plot Dictates so.

7- If a priest shows up in any role but villain, you’re watching a Portuguese soap opera.

8- Priests, Doctors, lawyers, anyone in an advisory capacity will come to your house to discuss your current problem, even if objectively he/she can do nothing about it.

9- Your priest will come to your house and tell you to be strong when you’re attracted to someone-not-your-husband.  It’s amazing they have time to do anything else, including breathing.

10- the most menial occupations pay enough for palatial digs.  This is shared with American sitcoms, I guess.

  • Sorry to fob you off with a quick post.  Third supplemental son (we had him by adoption), practice daughter in law and grandkids have just left, and I’m still having trouble breathing.  Older son has suggested we go to the zoo and take a slow walk,to stop me opening dusty boxes and worsening my cold.

149 responses to “Things I Learned About Life From Watching Brazilian and Portuguese Soap Operas

  1. You may have allergies to all the dust. If you can’t wear a mask at least take a shower immediately after. You have the dust in your hair and on everything. It will continue to aggravate you all day long.

    • I actually have a real head cold, caught from Dan. BUT yeah, it’s not helping. I AM allergic to household dust, too.
      Will get back to you on project tonight, hopefully.

      • Think you should listen to older almost-a-doctor son, myself. Assuming the weather up there in Denver isn’t like here. Being dripped on all day wouldn’t help the cold either…

      • Oh yeah? Yeah? It’s always the straight white males fault.

        • Why are you blaming Sarah for the cold she got from Dan? Oh, wait, nevermind. You didn’t mention “Mormon”, so you must have meant “Dan”, although I still find it weird that as a straight white male, he’s married to a straight white Mormom male…

          Must be something in the water in Denver. Or Portugal. Or something…

      • I have the same allergy to dust, my housekeeping, dusty books at work, the desert dust in the air here, and the allergy doesn’t really bother me much, except … how do I put this, I’m conscious of breathing, I’m aware that I’m breathing.

  2. And this one from American soaps:

    NEVER GO UPSTAIRS! People who “go upstairs” are never heard from again. Evidently the 2nd floor is an inescapable vortex to some netherworld…

  3. Breathing is good. You should work on that. 🙂

    • That is a lie promulgated by commercial interests eager to sell you stuff, like sinus cleansers and air fresheners. It is a well known fact that American OB-GYN’s frequently beat babies to induce breathing and, once started, the habit is nearly impossible to break without serious consequences. Don’t you realize that “Breathers” contribute to AGW by continually taking in Oxygen and releasing Carbon-Dioxide into the atmosphere!?!

      Be confident that in a Hillary Clinton presidency such cruel practices will be reduced, often paid for by the government, allowing people already addicted to Oxygen to avoid passing along such bad habits to their children. Additionally, her government will promote “Breathing Cessation” therapy for the elderly, inform, and simply inconvenient.

  4. The classic that I picked up from soaps is that pregnant women were falling down stairs all the time, and miscarrying.

    • Oh. Same in brazilian soaps. I meant to mention it.

      • Well, it’s the favorite form of deliberate self-abortion in bad US movies. Take a flying leap down the stairs. Florence King mentioned a movie with that in it, but I can’t remember the title.

        • I was addicted to a soap opera as a kid, till it changed its time to before school let out. “Dark Shadows,” yes, the one Tim Burton and Johnny Depp took an apparently dreadful shot at adapting into a movie. Black and white for its first, good years. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves, a monster stitched up from corpse parts, the works. Along with the usual soap opera weirdness, which somehow didn’t look so weird in contrast. Cardboard tombstones, actors suddenly replaced by other actors in their rolls so you had to remember how a character usually dressed to tell “is it him?” I loved it.

          • Christopher M. Chupik

            I was just watching some of the bloopers from that on YouTube. Man, live television is unforgiving. But you have to admire the actors for bravely fumbling through their lines until the next actor speaks.

    • Oh, yes. Okay, actually the best policy is to avoid stairs completely. (Yay! I have none at all in my house. Just furniture, books, and random living things to trip over…)

      • *snort* It happened IIRC on General Hospital several times – and the whole darned base was enthralled by that show, in the late 1970s. (No, I kid you not. It was in the AFRTS TV package and everyone watched it, to the point where we had to air it twice – once just before the evening news, and then again late night, for the shift workers.)
        Some of my male friends were so freaked by this, that when I became pregnant (long story) they flat-out forbade me ever to use the exterior metal staircase in our barracks building. True story.

        • I never could see my way to following GH, the whole plot where a girl is raped and then falls in love with her rapist and they had the big wedding of the year with Liz Taylor in attendance — just did not sit well with me.

          I did watch a soap for a short while, Guiding Light. I stopped after the bad girl Nola was cleaned through great suffering, flood, fire, self-sacrifice and love of a mysterious stranger … which all seemed mythic enough for several lifetimes. What more could one ask or do?

          • It’s soap opera, Jake…
            The silly thing was – I was as interested as everyone else, until I came back to the States, and leaped ahead by about eight or nine months. Lost interest in all the plot threads and characters, and never went back.

        • Celia, I think you mean the 80s because it was the same when I was in the navy and I’m a sham to say I was one of many who sat and watch Luke and Laura after basic electricity and electronics class.

          • That rape/romance plotline was in 1979 – and then through late 1980; if you saw it on AFRTS then it was about 6-8 months after it had been filmed in the States and in original broadcast. And it was not the only enthralling plotline – there was, IRRC, something about a character being poisoned by iced tea on one of those turntable things. Yeah, terribly baroque and contrived – but it got a lot of people enthralled, people who weren’t normally interested in that kind of thing. I was in hospital, waiting for my daughter to be borne – and on that one day – the entire maternity wing was silent, watching that episode.

            Yeah, the whole base was enthralled by that, You are likely not the only one embarrassed.

        • Working scheduling at an HMO clinic way back when, I had several doctors (only one of them female) that all wanted the same time slot left free. Got curious one day – medical meeting? They all lunched together? Well, they usually did have lunch – but that slot was the GH hour. The employee break room was packed.

        • That is sweet!

          Mildly crazy, but sweet.

        • My fraternity brothers were enthralled with Days of Our Lives. (I’m pretty sure because some of the women were attractive but one can never be sure.) They’d arrange their schedules around it. When the local station moved the air time to 1:30 it all fell apart because it was impossible to have two hour holes in one’s schedule.

    • See, I was careful on the stairs while I was pregnant. Perhaps reminded in part by the lingering soreness from where I had slipped and banged my left leg two days in a row a few months before.

      Then… then I got overconfident. *hangs head*

      The baby, thank God, is okay. Me, I landed on the same thigh for the third time and it broke and went up to visit my hip.

      • Eeech! Levity aside – I never let the pregnant wife go up or down stairs without me being below her. Now, I was a “bag of bones” at that much younger age, so I don’t know how much good I would have done as a cushion; fortunately we never found out.

        I hope that wasn’t too much trouble at delivery time.

        • No, no, no, sorry, I wasn’t injured during the pregnancy, for which I am immensely grateful as even if she was fine it presumably would have unpleasantly enlivened delivery. I fell with only bruising before getting pregnant and then was fine for well over a year. Baby was born in December, breakage was July 14 so 3 weeks ago. She is undamaged and getting lots of attention from grandparents.

          Thank you though. 🙂

          • Eep. And even though you were probably taking tons of calcium during pre- and post-natal times, you still were more likely to break something when you were using so much calcium for so many different things.

            On the bright side, you can drink so many milkshakes now!

            • Eeeh… I’d just lately gone “maybe I’m not taking enough” especially considering I’m off dairy due to her showing sensitivity. Started blaming nyself for that in the hospital. Can’t go back now, hope I haven’t ruined my bone density for life or something…..

      • OW! Don’t do that!

        Ok, I’m done making silly suggestions for the remainder of this comment. 🙂

  5. Laura Montgomery

    “4- Memory loss is WAY common. I mean, you walk out your door and forget your name every other morning.”

    I’m having trouble reconciling this one with the truth that a bad memory is part of the key to happiness. If memory loss is showing up in soap operas, it can’t be making anyone happy. Just feeling puzzled.

    • No, it’s a SELECTIVE memory that’s the key to happiness, not losing your memory entirely. It’s the whole, “Remember the good times, forget the bad, and if you figure out how to do this, let me know!”

      Although, on the other hand, as I recall from American soaps, characters are generally at their happiest while suffering from amnesia. After all, that character who has forgotten her name is usually pretty happy while in love with the guy she’s forgotten she hates; it isn’t until she recovers her memory that the misery all hits the fan.

  6. You can kill any number of people on your way to success, and no one will notice, not even enough to have rumors about you.

    So, Democrats are even more in charge of everything there than here? I mean, we at least have rumours of Hillary-ordered assasinations (or will until she succeeds in rewriting the First Amendment to make criticism of her illegal.)

  7. 4- Memory loss is WAY common. I mean, you walk out your door and forget your name every other morning.

    I thought I had something to say about this, but I forgot what it was.

    • I had a shattering rejoinder to this comment, accompanied by a truly awful pun, but, … well, … you know how it is.

      • See? Memory loss can be a good thing for the people around you.

        IIRC, the guy / gal that was hated before has a pretty good time while the amnesiac is suffering.

    • If it were important, you’d have remembered, right?

      I also have something to tell everyone, but I forgot what it was, so it couldn’t be that important, right?


      Oh, that’s right! Our ship was about to be hit by an asteroid!

  8. Martin L. Shoemaker

    The zoo fixes everything. So does ice cream. So ice cream at the zoo is the best thing ever.

    • The only way to make it better is if we could go to the natural history museum too.

      • Think I would prefer the museum. There’s something about looking about the pretty rocks that seems like it would be awfully pleasant today. I think that “something” is the museum’s air conditioning.

        • Oh you would have to say that. For those of us stuck in the ‘flat lands’ of the east, I believe a nice trip to the Blue Ridge Parkway starting in Asheville with stop a the Folk Art Museum, a stop to take in some air and the view from the highest mountain east of the Mississippi and, if one arrives before closing, another stop at the Gem and Mineral Museum in Spruce Pine would fit the bill quite nicely.

          • You just need some of our rain over that way. Right now (3 PM), I’m sitting right at 80 degrees outside. In Tucson, in August.

            Not complaining…

            • Hey, I’m in Tucson too! Yeah, it’s gorgeous today. Even the rain this morning was nice, as long as you didn’t have to go out in it. (For anyone who’s thinking of moving here, a week and a half ago it was 110.)

              This post is awesome. Laughing so hard. I just got back from a week-long family reunion, most of which I spent wrangling my 3-year-old granddaughter who, seriously, did not sleep all week, and I totally relate to the mental state that produced this because I’m right there myself. More, please!

            • That’s three of us in Tucson.

              Today has been a very pretty day; and the rain has almost made up for the dry spell in July that was supposed to be monsoon.

      • Martin L. Shoemaker

        Can you do both in a day? I think each is a day by itself.

        • The Other Sean

          The zoo and museum are basically adjacent. You can easily do both in a day, but personally I think you can’t do everything justice in both places in a day.

      • Natural History museum zoo, because we all know how cloned dinosaurs will work out.

      • After the zoo and the DMSN you can go to Liks for ice cream. (At least we always do after visiting either.)

  9. 4-Memory loss is WAY common.

    I had some really clever quip to post, but … I am sure I will remember it later today, while away from the computer terminal.

  10. A couple that I remember from someone’s list about American soaps (I’ve forgotten who (perhaps due to Soap amnesia) or I would credit them):

    1 – Sleeping around always has consequences. There is no such thing as the “fun one-night-stand that doesn’t matter and no one will ever find out about.” It will ALWAYS come back to bite you.

    2 – Much as in Kipling, no question is ever settled until it’s settled right. Remember that elaborate revenge plot that you got the idea for from the Portuguese soap and that you’re convinced you totally got away with? Yeah, you didn’t. It might take a while, but eventually everyone is going to find out that you were the one who killed that homeless guy as part of a plan to frame your romantic rival for embezzling money from the businessman who’s a second-cousin to your cheating husband.

    • Also, nobody is dead until the body has been cremated.

      And not always even then.

      • Unless it’s Days of Our Lives. If it’s Days of Our Lives, nobody is dead ever. Not even if you’ve seen the body, performed an autopsy, and done the cremation.

        • I’ve found myself inexplicably intrigued by Jane the Virgin, possibly because it’s so self-aware about the tropes it’s playing up. On this topic—when it’s Death vs. plastic surgery, bet on the scalpel.

  11. 7- If a priest shows up in any role but villain, you’re watching a Portuguese soap opera.

    Certainly not an American one, where the only surer evidence of villainy is being a straight, Christian, white male business executive.

    • That’s almost any US show. My father and I were shocked when a navy sailor murdered in CSI:NY was not only a good Samaritan, not only was going to propose to Sig other, but was even a little traditional male female pairing.

  12. Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard

    On the “Don’t go up those stairs” thing, that’s really deadly when you’re in this dark building/house that has been deserted for years.

    Of course, you really don’t want to go into the basement.

    Then, if you start hearing this ominous music, you better leave as fast as possible. 😈

    • After walking by the kitchen knives, open gun safe, and running chainsaw and beating stick with optional lighting attachment

    • One of these days, I want to see a movie where they completely destroy the conventions/expectations of the whole horror genre, and the “thing upstairs” is the one who gets eaten by the even worse eldritch abomination that’s filling in for the protagonist. I’m so tired of the convention that only the bad guys get the eldritch horror on their side–How about a little equal time, eh? I want to see Cthultu getting curb-stomped by something/someone even more powerful/dangerous than he is, and who isn’t at all pleased with either his presence or his meddling…

      And, not a Mary-Sue, either–If you’re going to have a universe with Cthultu in it, then it stands to reason that there are going to be equal and opposite forces, as well. Why don’t we ever see them, in horror movies? Done right, having something like that show up would be just about as scary as Cthultu himself, and the repercussions for the folks trying to open the gate for the Great Old Ones would probably be just about as epic as actually letting them in…

      • A story of the Apocalypse with Heavenly and Infernal Hosts fighting hand to hand and power to power would be quite chilling even knowing that the Heavenly Host would ultimately win. Excuse if this sounds blasphemous, but, was there a parable/story like this in the New Testament? This idea sounds awfully familiar.

        • I’m thinking more an out-of-context eldritch abomination that doesn’t quite fit into the matrix we’ve developed. Not good, not evil… Just Really, Really Tired of Everyone’s Shit(tm), and not putting up with it any more. The sort of eldritch abomination that’s past its retirement, doesn’t care who it pisses off, and just wants some peace and quiet to relax in–And, here come the Great Old Ones to screw with that. Triggering an epic curb-stomping by said emeritus eldritch abomination, who’s finally found peace and quiet as a small-town librarian, or something.

          Not good, not evil, just immensely powerful, highly irritable, and very capable of tearing a half-ass wannabe poseur of a minor godling out of its home firmament, and then beating some sense into it.

          Stands to reason, in my view: If Cthultu, then… The direct opposite has to exist. Maybe not on our side, precisely, but… Definitely not on his.

          • Brian Lumley (best known for the “Necroscope” series) invented a brother of Cthulhu, Kthanid, in his “Titus Crow” novels. Kathnid was a benevolent Elder God who looked nearly identical to Cthulhu, save for having golden eyes. Most fans of the Cthulhu mythos didn’t really like the Lumley books and stories, as the heroes would do un-Lovecraftian stuff like win. I rather enjoyed Lumley’s work, but did not think he pulled off a “good twin” to Cthulhu, though.

          • The Lovecraftian mythos did have opposed factions. The problem is that, as far as any of those “factions” were concerned, Earth had about the same significance as an anthill in the middle of nowhere. A struggle between Cthulu and one of his opposite numbers was likely to end with either Cthulu or his opposite incidentally wiping out all human life without even noticing that it had occurred.

            • Terry Sanders

              The Atlanta Radio Theatre Company has a recording out of their play SPECIAL ORDER, in which a bookstore gets an order for an original copy of the Necronomicon–and has the misfortune of finding one to sell.

              SPOILER WARNING

              The heroine ends up getting rescued by a thoroughly eldritch being she thinks might have been an angel — but she admits it could have been a transdimensional cop–or a PETA activist.

          • “Get off my planetary lawn”?

      • If you’ve never seen it, you should watch “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil.” It’s a send-up of the psycho-hillbilly horror genre, and wonderfully funny. A cult classic, it is…

  13. Michael Brazier

    On #9: how do the priests know when a woman is attracted to someone not her husband? Has the Vatican looked into this curious pattern of divine inspirations?

    Or do priests in Portugal just visit women and advise them to be strong on the chance that they’ve been tempted recently?

    • If said priest is on a soap opera, my guess is that he’s just playing the odds.

    • He read the script. But have they? Existential conundrum for the characters? (Yes, swiped from Zilch the Tory Steller.)

    • Beautiful Portuguese woman, being naturally hot-blooded (even wise Latina one) always am being tempted.

      But wilde Portuguese woman, she strong, she mucho strong, she able to resist anything but temptation.

  14. Michael Brazier

    And #2: I thought drained brain was the condition that caused you to say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” at an important meeting.

    • “My brain is drained” was the signal that the southbound technical writer carpool was about to head for home. Whether I or my manager said it first depended on who was least able to stick out the day any longer.

  15. I would never have learned these. I really do need to learn Portuguese I can pick up other important life lessons.

  16. Ahh. Soap operas. What I remember that both paternity and maternity are always up for question. And everyone has a doppelganger.

  17. I expect this to be at least a weekly post topic until our quadrennial clown selection process selects our new Clown in Chief. I’m hoping for a funny one this time (given there is no way we’re getting one competent as Chief Executive[1]).

    [1] Barring success in my write-in campaign…I know what I need to do to be a write-in Presidential candidate in several states and will work on it as soon as I vet my two vice presidential possibilities. Contact me for more on becoming a state chairman. [2]

    [2] This is not 100% a joke.

    • The Other Sean

      You couldn’t be any worse then the jokers who’ve won the nominations of the two major parties and the two biggest “third parties.” (Although isn’t it clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right?)

      • It started as a joke at Trivia last Thursday that has taken on enough life of its own that I have three slogans and four platform positions.

        The problem is I have to get permission at work.

        • “HerbN, what’s this I hear about you wanting to borrow $500million, and take the next 4 months off, to run for President?”
          “It’s true. You see, I have–”
          “Lost another bet to those wookie-suited friends of yours, did you?”
          HerbN hangs his head. “Yes, ma’am.”
          “Request denied. Those electrons won’t recycle themselves, you know. And tell the shift boss to give you an extra 50 lashes for dreaming on company time. Now, back to the mines!”

        • The Other Sean

          Are you promoting yourself as an Herbal Remedy to Electile Dysfunction?

          • Slogan ideas have included “Roll with Herb” (and “Herb, he grows on you”).

            Given marijuana decriminalization is one of my four planks. The others are conditional payments to citizens of African descent (yes, reparations, but in a form designed to piss off everybody), “income is income is income but it is only income if it is real and you get to decide how to spend it” income tax reform, and a re-analysis of treaty commitments (how Trump said it is stupid but the question is valid, without the USSR what is NATO for and if it still has a reason shouldn’t it be limited to those who contribute).

            • Last I heard, the anthropologists and archeologists still figured we all came from Africa, ‘way back…

              Since the Fed decided “African-American” was a thing, I *always* check that box on the forms…

              • My view on reparation is perhaps we do owe something to a population which was not permitted (and is arguably still actively discouraged to by our government) to assimilate but not provided the means to leave either.

                So, find a value for 40 acres and a mule in 1865, take the GNP deflater between then and the effective date to get a cash value. Any American claiming African descent and an inability to get a fair shake can claim that amount. No one has to claim it but anyone claiming African ancestry can.

                However, claiming includes renouncing your citizenship (after all, you claim you were here against your will due to actions against your ancestors) and unwanted. You get two years of legal residence to settle affairs before you leave. In the future you are eligible for nothing more than non-extendable 30 day tourist visas.

                The Department of State will negotiate with West African nations to take those who, after two years, failed to find their own homes and at 731 days you will be deported to one of those nations (the US government providing travel and entry costs negotiated with said nation).

                For those who stay that’s the end of the African-American or black classification and all associated set asides, affirmative action, etc.

                That’s my reparations plan in a nutshell. Yes, TRX, you would be welcome to it but I doubt you would.

                • Herb, i thought that was what the African paradise of Liberia was for.

                  • It was 150 years ago. I suspect we would have to negoitate with several of those nations to get them to accept the decendents of former slaves at this point although each showing up with a $1,045,000[1] US might make it easier than it appears.

                    [1] Rough estimate using a median mule price and average of some samples of farms for sale here in Georgia with 3.5% interest applied for 150 years. I expect an actual calcuation to me more detailed but I think this works for back of the envelope.

      • SMOD!

        Someone actually included the meteor among the possible votes. It polled over 10%. Indeed, among independents, Clinton, Trump, and meteor were a statistical dead heat.

        • Despite my size I’m not quite that large nor will I kill than many but I will be more entertaining than SMOD.

          Also, new platform items: Encourage Congress to make July 20, Tranquility Day, a Federal Holiday (or 21st but I prefer the 20th).

  18. If the priest comes over to play cards and drink whiskey with the Lutheran it’s OK? Asking for a friend.

  19. Speaking of memory loss, and being behind… Forgot to mention-in-passing that I finally have the review of Pam Uphoff’s book up on Amazon.

  20. Christopher M. Chupik

    Visiting the home where my mom lives, I’m always catching bits of soaps. The main thing I’ve learned is that nothing happens until Friday.

    • Well, of course. One thing, that is better than some very popular animes. When the kids were watching the one episode a day on the Cartoon Network (before we got high-speed internet into the house), if you missed the one critical day when they actually got down to knocking each other through various mountains, oceans, etc. – nothing happened for weeks on end…

  21. Things I learned: get in a car wreck or suffer other major physical trauma and your makeup instantly reverts to perfect from whatever it was the moment before. (Pre 1985 soaps)

  22. I suspect a bunch of these also apply to soaps from other countries, but I don’t have any desire to watch them and confirm

    • I suspect it is best for others to discuss the finer points of Australian soap operas …

      All I know about it is what I learned from Whose Line Is It, Anyway.

  23. OK well if Portuguese soap operas are limited, then they probably don’t do the “send the kid up the stairs one day and they come back a month later a teenager” thing.

  24. Well what I learnt watch the Latin American soaps is just how drop dead gourgeous are the poor girls no matter what menial job they’re doing. Who happen to be long lost heiress granddaugther of the richest most influential gazillionare in the country who’s also the most noble and grounded in the country. In the meantime, there’s the revenge subplot with nefarious bad guy characters.

    Game of thrones is Desperate housewives compared to some Latin soaps

  25. Soap Operas played a minor role in my dropping out of college. My roommate was addicted to General Hospital. And he could’t watch it in the freshman lounge, where it was more than your life was worth to try and put on something else at The Time, oh no! I’d had some mild exposure to soaps before then, but that convinced me that the defining characteristic of them as a genera was that they were full of characters that, in a rational world, somebody would have already shot.

    And that specifically included the “good” characters.

  26. Our copy of our esteemed hostess’s book Through Fire (The follow up to A Few Good Men) arrived at our door yesterday.

    Hip Hip Hoooooo-ray!

  27. Christopher M. Chupik

    I have to wonder: do the writers of these soaps ever come up with an idea that gets dismissed as too far-fetched? Because I’d be surprised if they did.

    • “Hey, what about if we did a story line about normal folks with the same sort of concerns that ordinary people have?” “Nah, that’d never grab any viewers. What about if the ordinary people were secretly part of an apocalyptic terrorist cult? That might work!”

      • Christopher M. Chupik

        Mind you, it worked for Dark Shadows. It went from a soap no one was watching to a big hit, at least for a few years.

        • I actually tried watching Dark Shadows, back when it was new. I wondered about soaps and decided to try one that had a theme that at least marginally appealed to me. I gave it up after a couple of months when I realized that no story was ever resolved. A story would start to get interesting, then they’d shift to another beginning story line, never returning to the former one. It was then that I decided I had better things to do with my time.

          • Christopher M. Chupik

            Well, my library has some “Best of” Dark Shadows DVDs. Since I’ll probably never have a chance to watch all 1000+ episodes, that might be the way to go.

  28. If you have not tried it yet, Korean soup always helps me.

    Although I’ve never been to Denver restauants, a quick Google search spotted this one:

    And the dish I recommend is:

    $8.00 SOON DOBU CHEEGAE* (S) (GF)
    Hot and spicy stew with garlic, soft tofu, zucchini, onions, egg, and green onions

    Get well soon. I’ll need something to read as I’m finishing my chemo. And I’m very picky.

    • If it weren’t summer, the galbitang (beef short rib soup with Korean radish – so good!) with all the goodies in it is almost as good as chicken noodle soup. (And obviously you want soup without noodles, Sarah, since you’re on a no-carb diet.) Eating beef broth-y soups feels so Victorian and strengthening, and then you eat the rib bits and the veggies.

      • Which is better for cooking, broth or stock?

        • Feather Blade


          My understanding is that broth is cooked bones (and maybe skin and whatever meat you didn’t remove the first time) boiled to a reasonable consistency then strained; and stock is that, with vegetables.

          So it really depends on what you’re doing.

          • Feather Blade

            with vegetables added in, that is.

            I hear that you can make vegetable broth by boiling the veg until all the flavor is removed, and then straining the solids out.

          • I buy ready made broth and stock at the supermarket. Both are liquids. I use it to cook my pasta in.

            • We used to buy whole chickens at a fraction of the cost per pound of breasts, separate the components, fry the wings, thighs and drumsticks, bone the breasts for what those were used as, and make chicken stock with the skin, bones and remainder.

              Then somebody‘s GI Tract decided to be vegetarian.

              • If it makes you feel any better, at least at my grocery store, a whole chicken is now more expensive than the parts unless you’re buying boneless/skinless for most of it.