Three Tales Of The USAians

I said I’d have free gifts for you by the end of the year, and I do.  If I can make this thing work, below will be a free book to download.  (There will be another — fantasy — later. I’m entering edits RIGHT NOW.)

These are all stories that have appeared on this blog, and I edited them, but it was done over the last week while house searching, so don’t expect flawless.

You can give them to friends, relatives, random strangers you accost on the street, but don’t sell them and don’t claim you wrote them, or we can’t be friends anymore.  (Also my lawyer will get very upset, and you don’t want to upset him, as he’s a very nice man.)



Link for epub download

Link for Mobi (kindle) download.

53 thoughts on “Three Tales Of The USAians

  1. You’ve been busy you have young Portagee!
    Can we at least claim that we inspired you to write them?
    Loving and devoted fans and relations and all that don’t you know.

  2. Based on available evidence (waiting on Calibre to load and confirm) the download seems to have worked.

    Thanky-kindly. Have i permission to scrawl excerpts on public walls (locations unspecified)?

  3. …random strangers you accost on the street…

    I am now picturing myself strolling through the downtown giving away pre-loaded e-readers. It is, yet again, a very gloomy day outside, but at least it isn’t presently raining, so it could be worse. 😉

      1. On that note: I hope that all our fellow posters along the Mississippi, in Missouri and other areas that are flooded or under flood watch are safe.

  4. I’ll get to today’s offerings later – tomorrow most likely. But one the ‘RELATED’ links is “Three Matches” which I have now just read. Thank you for that, too.

    And now I do sort of wonder about the matchbook. Does a dragon every so often have this peculiar need to re-light the pilot?

    1. You can ask Paul or Fluffy. I’ll be helping the aardvark re-stock the sparkling wine cooler, now that the Aussies and Kiwis have taken out the first *looks at holes* case? Yikes! I hope someone remembered to tell Tom Stranger we needed that additional coverage.

    2. And now I’ve read (alright, re-read, but still) the Three Tales of the USAians. And in a way, my own metaphorical pilot might have been re-lit – or is burning just that little bit brighter now.

    1. You might wait until after the Mississippi crests before calling her that, Christopher.

      The floodplain is flooding. Imagine that. “Of course we had floods. That’s what rivers do.” (Said by an old farmer who’d lived near a river for 80+ years.)

      1. And before anyone jumps on me, I’m teasing. On the other paw, I’m not sure I want to imagine what Sarah’s “spring overflow” (to use the old phrase) would result in. Every Progressive on the Front Range fleeing for California, for starters, probably.

        1. This. I was about to remark that lawyers don’t scare me. They’re breakfast food.

          Getting Sarah mad at me, on the other hand…

        2. Nope – they can’t come back. Too cold here in CA these days. Plus we gave away their stuff. You have to keep them.

      2. I have heard reports that it will not take much more for this to beat-out the 1927 Mississippi Flood. 😦

        1. At St. Louis and a little downstream, but I don’t think that the full length of the Arkansas and Ohio are also rising, as happened in ’27. I’d just as soon not think about what would happen in that case, since there is no longer much of a floodplain in the Delta (downstream of Memphis) as there was in ’27.

 is the link to that Arkansas Basin River flood web site. From thee (bottom of map) you can also look at other basins.

          Oops. Sorry, someone pushed my hydrology and history buttons. I’ll just take off this historian’s hat and put it back on the shelf.

          1. Sorry, someone pushed my hydrology and history buttons. I’ll just take off this historian’s hat and put it back on the shelf.

            No need to apologize to me. Rather, please accept my thanks for the information.

            1. You’re welcome. I spent the better part of 7 years, ah, wading through river records, usually punctuated by silent whistles and murmurs of “Dang, I don’t want to be around if it does THAT again.” (Which is what one of my medcrew opined one afternoon as we wondered what it would take to put bank-to-bank water back in the eastern Colorado reach of the Arkansas.)

          2. Here near Cincinnati, the Ohio crested a couple of days ago, a few feet below Flood Stage.

            1. The flood control lakes around Cincinnati are still looking rather bloated. They are not so bad as to cause me to detour on the way to and from work, thankfully.

              1. I wouldn’t know about those. I get my readings by looking at the convenient ruler on the support under the Clay Wade Bailey bridge while I’m crossing the Brent Spence. It was up over the 60 mark two days ago, and now it’s below it.

    1. That’s what I did, so I can enjoy my last day of freedom before I have to start doing work-work (instead of pure writer work). Plus the only bowl game I’m interested in is tomorrow evening.

        1. 😛 Alamo Bowl – Sib and Sib-in-Law are TCU alumni.

          Alas, the self-filling kibble bowl is not filling itself this AM. Off to go cook brunch (and then start the dinner roast. Deep discount shoulder roast FTW).

          1. Mmm… sounds good. I fixed deep-discount leg of lamb for Christmas dinner this year.

            1. Red wine, olive oil, and Worchestershire sauce; then garlic and chopped onion, white potatoes (as opposed to sweet ‘taters), and carrots. Simmered for four hour—
              *ding dong ding dong*

              I wonder who’s at the door?

  5. Thank you for the 2 x 3 gifts! We don’t have flooding here in Deepest Oregon right now (that’s for the west-siders), but the thermometer just hit -20F this morning. We’re supposed to cook the winter supply of burgers today, but I’m going to wait until I can take the cover off the grill without breaking the cloth.

    [As he learns how the proper incantation to get a .mobi file in the right place on a Kindle…]

  6. Its odd how it works out. Some of Sarah’s stuff I really like. Some of it leaves me cold (like many other authors I enjoy). But when Sarah is writing on her/someone else s blog I really like her writing a lot. Blogs don’t pay. Am fortunate enough that there are books of hers I enjoy that I can give her some support. Its her blog writing that I like the most though.

    1. *cough*

      There is a tip jar (called “Donate” — fancy word to disguise the true meaning: I will write for food) as well as a subscription option (membership hath its privileges, but the most satisfying privilege is the least mentioned: helping underwrite a blog and a person whose presence in this cyberspace you appreciate) available for those who don’t care to have to remember when last they dropped some spare change in the well, wishing for more of Sarah’s writing. These may be found at the top of the blog, to the right of the most recent blog post.

      Also available, especially for the financially embarrassed amongst us (I point no fingers, lest some point back my direction) is the simple recourse of blowing Sarah’s horn (uhmmmm, is that some kind of entendre double?), of touting her writing to like minded folk, those of low humour and high patriotism (oh man, I put some patriotism in my pipe last night and got so high you wouldn’t believe it!) by linking to this blog and by going to various sites (e.g., Amazon*) and posting honest reviews about her stories (preferably favourable reviews, but honest is all she really asks (as well as the stories of others of Hoyt’s Huns, routinely listed here on Free Promo ((N.B., that is an “m”, not an “n” and an “or” not a “ro”)) days.)

      None of this ought be taken as chastisement of TH3O MOORE or anybody who hasn’t tipped out hostess. It is merely intended as a reminder, admittedly prompted by TH3O MOORE’s comment, of that which Sarah is insufficiently crass to suggest. None of these actions are mandatory for visiting this blog, merely conducive to keeping the blog afloat (or perhaps, no more under water than it already is.)

      Oh yeah, you can also help by voting for the most conservative viable candidate in all elections, according to your definition of a) conservative, b) viable and c) candidate. It’s a pretty nice shining city on this hill, even if its gotten a mite tarnished of late and some slum areas allowed to grow up. We’d like to see it kept nice for the grandkids.

      *If you access Amazon through links embedded in Sarah’s books (also above, somewhat under the “Donate” and “Subscribe” buttons) and purchase anything once on their site, even if it was already in your shopping cart, Amazon will kick back … er, make a small remuneration to Sarah at no additional cost to you.

      The author of this comment has neither been endorsed nor authorized in any way to speak on behalf of the blogstress and these comments remain purely the commenter’s own. All content provided in this blog comment is for informational purposes only. Objects in mirror may be nearer or farther than they appear and your mileage may vary.

      1. Shill! You’re a Shill!

        No, wait – I’ve been reading some comments on a Facebook page which attempts to combat anti-science people and conspiracy theorists, and I fear that the comments of some of the followers of the anti-science celebrities have infected my speech. Sorry about that. 🙂

        1. Per Wiki:

          A shill, also called a plant or a stooge, is a person who publicly helps or gives credibility to a person or organization without disclosing that they have a close relationship with the person or organization.

          I am not in any way compensated for my endorsement and remain highly confident that no sane person would consider me to “give credibility” to any person or organization by association with myself. (To avoid the onslaught of concurring replies I hereby state: Quite the opposite, in fact.)

          Nor am I a plant, a tool, a colleague, conspirator, co-conspirator abettor, accomplice, aide, confederate or ringer … at least, not in regard to this blog.

          I am merely a virtuous, public-minded citizen, doing my duty as I saw fit to do it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

          1. I am merely a virtuous, public-minded citizen, doing my duty as I saw fit to do it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. [Emphasis mine]

            Oh what generous folks around here, why RES is offering up some more free fiction!

            1. For certain (unspecified) values of “virtuous”, “public-minded” and “duty”. Not guaranteed playable in all regions.

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