The other day while I was shopping I was struck with a sudden idea: why don’t I buy a toy for the pretty cats?
(I’m convinced this is caused by feline mind-rays. There is no other explanation. The impulse strikes randomly and has nothing to do with what they’ve been up to lately. It’s never “they haven’t broken any good china recently” or “they haven’t played slamlom with my prized glass floats” .)
Like many other bad ideas, this one was fairly irresistible, and once it presented itself, I had to follow through. Being cheap I bought — for $7.50 a little foldable tent. I thought “Oh, look, they can cuddle in it or something.”
This shows you how dellusional I can be. Of course, that is NOT how things worked out. Once I brought the tent into the house and set it down next to my desk (“They can keep me company while I write,” I thought. HONESTLY.) I realized I had not in fact bought a cat toy. Oh no. What I had bought and brought into my house was the world’s smallest and most fiercely independent country.
Tentistan, population one — D’Artagnan
This would be okay, if D’Artagnan’s possession of the crinkly red and yellow vinyl didn’t inflame envy in the hearts of his neighbors. Unfortunately it does and therefore, the mighty army of the Miranda attacks:
With a leap across the room, Miranda secures the upper hand. D’Artagnan’s attempts at defensive positioning overturn tentistan. Miranda then skates it across the floor with two more leaps.
A surrender ultimatum is issued. The defense burrows in.
The defense replies “you can’t make me” (and possibly adds “neener neener.”
I couldn’t actually capture the action. The paw is faster than the camera. There was a brief intense period of Miranda beating D’Artagnan like an old rug, from outside the tent. I believe military bloggers cal this type of action “Beating his little pasty white b*tt like a drum.” The pose captured here was “You won’t even fight? You DISGUST me.” After which she stalked away.
catnip mice — the war’s innocent collateral damage.
(Yep, best entertainment I EVER bought for under ten dollars.)