Sorry, I have to deal with some appointment stuff. will post nearer noon.
Someone was supposed to send me a guest post and didn’t!
Try not to break things or each other. SPQR has the baton to close discussions that are driving everyone insane. He’s used to command.
More of a putt really.
Well, with some it’s more of a tug *back* in the direction of sanity.
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How can one be tugged *back* to somewhere they’ve never been?
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You don’t have to start out sane.
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I can haz stick?
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In honor of SPQR being put in charge, I offer the following song:
“Romans, lock your wives away/The bald seducer’s in the rear/You’ve squandered on his Gallic vice the gold you lent him here.”
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First Centurion! This is the one I mentioned earlier …
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But….but…
Not break anything? I mean, you know we’re Huns right? Raid/pillage? That’s what we do. And we can’t break anything…
*SNIFF*
Now I can’t do my job anymore.
*Puts down the two by four that was pointed directly at the window and walks away.*
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Yeah, and breaking things is so relaxing, too…
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Here, you can borrow my Clue by four +5. It’s designed specifically for those occasions when you can’t break things, but someone desperately needs special attention.
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I appreciate it, but some of the people I know are kind of hard headed and well…
I’ve broken a couple clue by fours over heads in the past. I’m trying to be a good boy today.
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One word: Osmium.
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Go with depleted Uranium. I’m pretty sure it’s cheaper, and it’s somewhere between 80% and 90% of the density
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LART?
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“RAID” and pillage? Um…oopsy?
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What happened to ‘we rape, we pillage’? Robert Urich, Ice Pirates
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To each his own I guess. I’ve always been in it for the money. It occurs to me that our lovely hostess never said “Don’t BURN anything,” so I’m thinking we’re back in business anyway. We’ll just have to be _very careful_ when we put down the flaming torches.
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Oh, and it’s more romantic by fire light.
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Are you TRYING to make the dragons sulk? Resorting to torches to burn things? Hmmmpph!
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Hey, those of us without built-in flamethrowers want to get in on the fun, too, ya know!
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The terms “sulking dragons” and “fun” don’t belong in the same sentence without a great thumping NOT in it somewhere.
At the very least, you need to use both.
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Well, of course we would use both. But raiders get sulky if they’re not allowed to destroy anything, too, and we only need a small corner to take down without help.
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http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KQuzzycNtl8
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A 2 x 4 and a window sounds more like the work of a Vandal than a Hun.
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Yeah, we carry hammers for that.
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We just need a better definition of ‘things’. I’m sure our hostess would never object to us breaking, say, any stray trolls who try to get in.
(You know she wrote that line and said “This’ll keep ’em busy while I’m gone.”)
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But troll breaking isn’t “breaking” is it? I mean, you can harness those things and ride them like horses if you can put up with the whining but you have to break them first.
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Just remember Maxim 1: Pillage then burn.
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SPQR has the baton…
But can he twirl it like a cheerleader? (Ducks and runs)
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Heh, just hope he doesn’t mistake the cheerleader’s outfit for a centurion’s tunic. Again. (slams the door and tries to catch Wayne…)
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Y’all do know about the roof mounted carp cannon?
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I heard about it. Sounds fishy to me.
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That… was kinda the point.
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it’s the trout. You suckers are gonna need the sturgeon general to fix you up.
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On a scale of one to fin, that was about a skate.
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Oh, I can tell this thread is really going to the dogfish.
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Yeah, the fish puns are starting to flounder.
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Those are just flukes.
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just keep tha Lawyers out
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There are no good puns; there are no bad puns. It’s all a matter of scale…
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Was it designed by BS Johnson, to be loaded from a carp pond that’s 100 yards long and 6″ wide? I never did figure out how he got it to flow uphill to the roof, or how the water returns to the other end from there.
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Well, they both have short skirts . . .
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I do not!
Oh… you meant… never mind.
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Do his ears hang low,
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can he tie them in a knot,
Can he tie them in a bow?
Can he throw them over his shoulder,
like a continental soldier?
Do his ears hang low?
Have no earthly idea why this little ditty leapt into my brain of a sudden, but felt compelled to share none the less.
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I think it was the cheerleader comment above. ‘Cuz it happened to me, too.
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Ears?
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hay look, you found pictures of an ISIS/alQeda Brothel!
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Oh god… you just reminded me of an Israeli FLIR Surveillance video of some Jihadis, where one was having his way with a goat….
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all the best jokes have their base in the truth.
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That’s … That is just wrong.
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So – if we’re not allowed to break things, are we still allowed to redecorate?
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Drive by gripe: why can we not auto-carp people who schedule academic conferences along the Gulf Coast in March? Why?
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How is this a bad thing? It’s too early to be hurricane season and it gets those freezing cold damnyankee professors to someplace warm when they’re still freezing in their northern abodes.
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Because the hotels have jacked their rates up, and you get both Spr-ng Br–k-rs and professors in the same towns. And I greatly dislike sunny beaches, but that’s my problem, not theirs.
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the IQ of the gulf coast drops at that time of year. now we know why
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Can you skip the convention? You could stay indoors.
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Where on the Gulf Coast? Redneck Riviera, MS, LA, or TX?
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Academic conferences specifically designed to transport the professoriate to the location where scantily clad coeds are imbibing heavily?
You’re right, I can’t think of any reason that might happen.
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Rats! Guess our hostess meant noonish, Mountain Time.
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She’s in my timezone and it’s noon. Hope everything’s going okay for her.
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Since there has been a bunch of talk of fishes here today, I have a TRUE fish story:
Back…a lot longer than I’d care to think, my sister, in the Explorer Scouts, went on a canoe trip in Canada – somewhere around Winnepeg, IIRC. Flew them all out a couple hundred miles and dropped them off to canoe back. So, one evening after setting up camp, several of them were fishing, and one of the other girls decided she needed to go visit a tree for a moment and asked my sister to watch her fishing pole, but, “Don’t catch anything!” So, being the nice (HA! She had them fooled…) girl that she was, she just sat there and moved the pole back and forth, left to right, saying, “Here fishy, fishy! Here, fishy, fishy, fishy!” The other girl almost made it to the latrine before she had to run back and grab the net to help my sister land the walleye that went for the bait. I think the “Here, fishy, fishy!” plaque they gave my sister when they got back from the trip is still hanging on the wall at mom & dad’s.
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*brandishes can of spray paint*
Here, elfy, elfy…
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Don’t let ’em huff it. I can’t get elf vomit out of the carpet.
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Glitter… everywhere….
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Hey, how do you get this confounded machine to make tea? I’ve twiddled all the knobs, and I’ve only gotten coffee and Vogon poetry. The mousetrap cleverly hidden behind the knob labeled “Do not twiddle” was an unwelcome surprise, too.
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You have to knock three times first…
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No, that’s a Tony Orlando and Dawn summoning.
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Can I get the yellow ribbon concession?
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Dunno McChuck, but if I my boredom level gets any higher today you might be “treated” to some of my poetry and it’s the only thing in the universe WORSE than Vogon poetry.
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Wanna help edit a ks.cfg file so it detects what network cards have link and what drives are available for install dependent on the hardware you’re installing to? (e.g. if it’s $Decent_Hardware we install ONLY on the first drive, if it’s $Stupid_Hardware we make a raid of the two drives we find that are SSD, because we don’t know where they’re going to be found amoung the 74 on the server. Usually they’re sdb and sdc. No, sda is something else and we can’t use it. No, not “shouldn’t? “can’t” as in it don’t frackign work).
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What?!
(Never mind, I don’t want to know.)
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If you aren’t careful it will give you a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
DON’T DRINK IT.
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You can only get hot Earl Grey tea, but only if you have a passable English accent.
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Well, yes, but you have to speak the request in theatrical british while pretending to be French.
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Sudden mental image of SPQR riding a giant elephant, rod of authority leaning at his elbow, massive eagle banner over the palanquin…
I don’t know why the elephant is breathing fire, though.
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It’s imitating the dragons, of course.
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It’s a pyrophant, of course.
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You’ve watched too many of them gaming commercials, son.
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Had a problem with a baby elephant at the local zoo. It turned out to be an heir o’pyrophant….
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*points up* He just won the thread. And a century’s supply of carp.
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