To Satisfy You Beasts!

You wanted a green monster with an ax called Copybook Headings ready to bring on the terror and the slaughter?

Lo and behold, one of the Huns who wishes to remain anonymous has sent me an even more AWESOME sight — it’s a green RUDYARD KIPLING with an ax called Copybook Headings.

Green Rudyard Kipling WITH AN AX, biatch!  Your argument is invalid!
Green Rudyard Kipling WITH AN AX, biatch! Your argument is invalid!

135 thoughts on “To Satisfy You Beasts!

  1. >b>Bah! The way y’all swoon over Kipling rouses my contrarian bent (which sleeps lightly and rarely).

    Here is Orwell’s clear-eyed eulogy.

    1. Bah!, I meant to say. Humbug!

      Here is Orwell’s clear-eyed essay, written during WW2 a few years after Kipling’s death.

      1. Clear-eyed? I remember that essay. One of his many critical ones in which he fails to rise to his own professed standards, namely not judging the work of art by the point of view of the author.

        You have to remember he’s a Socialist. It’s a bit hard, because he’s a genius as an opponent of Communism and as a Socialist somewhat sillier than the usual standard, but kind though it is to overlook faults (especially compared to the many silly Socialists who never managed to be even serious opponents of Communism), it is relevant to his literary criticism.

        1. I tried responding twice, hopefully in a civil fashion. WordPress ate each version, and then gave me a ‘Duplicate Comment’.

          Enough is enough.

            1. You probably posted something that offended the moderator / blog hostess. She can be a real harridan at times. I suggest you offer her a chocy and an apology.

                    1. Checks manual for such situations: “You can run but you can’t hide.”

                      Only one thing left, must deploy defensive counter-piscene measures! Release the Kraken!!!!

                    2. I think the applicable pity phrase here is “If you run you’ll only die tired.”

                1. shhh. NO ONE KNOWS 😉 Actually it doesn’t mean I don’t argue with myself. Pen names have a way of having a mind of their own. Sarah D’Almeida is a right bi-ch and Elise Hyatt is a dits.

  2. What the Feline Dragon said! What would be an in period synonym for biatch that Kipling would’ve said?

        1. LOL. Of course you may call me Sarah — I only object to being called Hoyt! in a parade grounds tone. I’m also not particularly enamored of “Her Hoytness” but it’s well meant.

      1. Ah yes, famed 17th Century mathematician and action hero, Blaise “Blaze” Pascal fought his way across three countries, solving theorems, developing mechanical calculators, hydraulic presses and the syringe, his rescues of fair maids and discoveries of “lost” knowledge set the world afire! While still in his teens he defeated the notorious Cardinal Richlieu in an adventure still little known, leading to the Cardinal’s demise. His denunciations of casuistry brought proud men shame. Armed with satire and a wit as sharp as his sword, Pascal laid waste to the pretensions of his world.

          1. Dan likes his mathematical work. He wanted to call the younger boy Blaise Pascal. “You got to name the first one.” I had to be firm…
            Going through life with the nickname “Flame” might give people the wrong idea, whatever orientation the kid turned out to be.

            1. They might have called him “Modesty” – the only Blaise I know has that as his nickname

  3. A cool picture of my favorite poet. Quite a nice treat.

    Perhaps the poem that the axe is named for was his application to join the Gods of the Copybook Headings.

    1. Sorry, forgot the lyrics, since they’re not sung clearly:

      Truth and hope in our Fatherland!
      And death to every foe!
      Our soldiers shall not pause to rest
      We vow our loyalty

      Old traditions they will abide
      Arise young heroes!
      Our past inspires noble deeds
      All Hail Britannia!

      Immortal beacon shows the way
      Step forth, seek glory!
      Hoist your swords high into the clouds
      Hail Britannia!

      Our Emperor stands astride this world
      He’ll vanquish every foe!
      His truth and justice shine so bright
      All hail his brilliant light!

      Never will he be overthrown
      Like mountains and sea
      His bloodline immortal and pure
      All Hail Britannia!

      So let his wisdom guide our way
      Go forth and seek glory
      Hoist your swords high into the clouds
      Hail Britannia!

  4. Let the copybook beheadings commence!
    Yes, a cheap shot I know, but that’s just how I roll.
    So sushi me.

      1. Second greatest; Sally Rand is universally recognized as having the greatest fans.

        Victoria’s Secret eat your heart out.

        1. Update: I reached the artist. She had given permission for that site to use the image, but no longer allows such use of her work. Rabid Weasel t-shirts will have to be based on another image.

            1. I’m now confused. Can we have the picture of Kipling with the GotCH ax on t-shirts or not?

                  1. Weasels are too inclined to going bare sark to be reliably trained as ninjas. I recommend our line of custom trained ninja ferrets instead. Just as capable, able to get through tighter passages and without the personality disorders.

                    1. “A nemesis for Bandit?” Hmm, I have a sudden picture in my head of an ermine, face lathered, holding a shaving mug in one paw and a razor in the other, and looking confused as someone runs away screaming, “rabid weasel! Rabid weasel!”

                      No, I have not had much tea or pop this AM yet, why?

                    2. Both have their virtues, admittedly, and offer valuable reminders.

                      And neither ought be disputed.

                    3. Sold, so long as I can teach them to brew coffee for the Diner. Herself has yet to imagine me any help, and that mess of mayhem and madness practically lives on caffeine. And good scotch, though distillation isn’t as much my thing as consuming the endproducts is.

              1. 1. This morning WordPress swallowed another linkless comment of mine. At some point the following interior monolog gets implanted:

                Batch #1 of Neurons: Let’s check out what’s cookin’ at ATH.

                Batch #2 of Neurons: Why? There’s an appreciable chance the site won’t let me interact about topics that particularly attract me, and I’ll only realize that after writing a comment, sometimes painstakingly. Who needs the aggravation?

                2. To supplement the above gripe with something semi-constructive, I wonder what WordPress has suggested when you’ve called this to their attention (in your copious spare time).

                1. The foregoing was meant as a reply to accordingtohoyt | August 9, 2013 at 12:13 pm. Probably the mistake was mine, but…WordPress…

                2. In regard to Neuron Batch #2, you can always copy/paste comment into a notepad or similar savable file and try to post again later, possibly with introductory comment to the effect “I am reposting because WP sucks” to prevent it being barred as a dupe post.

                  No d- good, but better than losing comments into the void.

                  In regard to “what WordPress has suggested” I would guess, based on prior reported conversations, that it amounts to: “There must be something you are doing wrong. Please check your procedures.”

                  1. And yes, WP has buggered its “REPLY” function. My prior comment was a reply via email link, this is using the reply button and is likely not going to properly attach to the post online … but I am confident it will come through in the email just fine.

                    Last time we had this sort of problem it occurred because a (wanna be) troll had been deleted. Haz I missed a troll stomp????

                    1. He wasn’t a troll and y’all got all out of co… oh, wait, last time was a troll, the time before that was the “WTF pile-on?” Geesh, we get in so much trouble around here, it’s hard to tell anymore.

                  2. Thanks for your response, RES.

                    1. I do try to carry out your copy/paste advice. One problem is that I am especially likely to forget on the comments I am most involved with.

                    As you imply, delayed posting further dilutes the limited interactivity of the Web. Hopefully I add some value to the discussions here, but I don’t add so much as to make my comments standalone worthwhile hours or days after the thread ends. Richard Fernandez or Steven den Beste, I ain’t, not even a small fraction thereof.

                    2. Now that you mention them, I do recall those reported conversations even during my three months here. WordPress deserves a reply along the lines of You’re right! There is something I’m doing wrong, and I’m going to fix it immediately, followed by the obvious.

                    3. Maybe I’m the only commenter who encounters these problems. That seems unlikely since the blog owner also encounters them. If the problem is widespread, with all due respect to Sarah and with acknowledgment of the demands on her time, the situation seems unsustainable in a blog which a) routinely attracts hundreds of comments per post, and b) doubles as a professional vehicle for publicizing her writing.

                    1. Eh – nesting has been broken here before (I think it may even have been my fault once). Eventually it got fixed.

                      Interestingly enough, the preview content of the comment or post being replied to is visible in the email, it’s just not showing up in the formatting on the page.

                    2. It is being hosted by WordPress. This is what shall change as soon as I find the time.

                      There are several of us among the Huns and Hoydens who have the know-how to do that for you, if it can be effectively outsourced. A few of us even have connections to hosting if need be. You’ve only to say the word and the Internet will run red with the fury of your- oh wait, wrong subject. Anyway, we’d be happy to help if we can.

                    3. You’re really going out on a Limit there, aren’t you?

                      Off on a tangent, IMHO, if you’ll allow a derivative remark.

                    4. She could do a real number on us. We’d better measure up. Act natural. It’s not complex.

                      Alas, I’m converging toward my bedtime.

                    5. Sorry – those puns just don’t function.

                      “The main duty of the historian of mathematics, as well as his fondest privilege, is to explain the humanity of mathematics, to illustrate its greatness, beauty, and dignity, and to describe how the incessant efforts and accumulated genius of many generations have built up that magnificent monument, the object of our most legitimate pride as men, and of our wonder, humility and thankfulness, as individuals. The study of the history of mathematics will not make better mathematicians but gentler ones, it will enrich their minds, mellow their hearts, and bring out their finer qualities.”
                      George Sarton

                  3. I have a Firefox plugin called TextAreaCache which temporarily saves what you’ve typed into text areas like this to make it easy to recover eaten comments.

                    1. Personally, I configure it to keep a lot of entries (about 100) and to keep them between sessions. If only it kept links to the sites they were posted on, it would be a fantastic comment tracking tool.

          1. I CAN ask the artist to do a picture of rabid weasels… but I want to point out I draw the line at asking him to do a picture of glittery hoo haas. though a picture of a tempest in a b-cup appeals!

            1. Whenever I see that phrase I think of Little Lucy Lou Who, all grown up, covered in glitter and eating Haagen Daasz with a frown on her face.

  5. An the hearts of the meanest were humbled… *grin*

    Kipling needs some friends. After all, the GotCH have *LOTS* of terror and slaughter to mete out…

    *ambles off, hands in pockets, whistling “I can’t get no… Satisfaction…*


    1. Oh, yeah, need to include this part – because that picture looks like his style. But I’m sure he would have added his signature to it, even if he was wanting to remain anonymous.

  6. “You wanted a green monster with an ax called Copybook Headings ready to bring on the terror and the slaughter?”

    I didn’t know I wanted it until I saw it.

  7. Maybe the combination of new moon, Persied meteor shower, and it being a Friday with the date 8/9 (or 9/8, depending on your system) broke WordPress’s comment bot. Again. This time.

    Oh, and count me in on the tee-shirt pre-order list, once one gets ginned up.

  8. Hmmm, is this comment section making more sense without the nesting and time-ordering?

    Ducks. Burrows. Burrows frantically.

    1. Hmmm, is this comment section making more sense without the nesting and time-ordering?

      I’m a fan of unthreaded comments, with judicious use of quoting. But I am but a lowly Hun, and not the proprietor of this inestimable trove of wisdom, erudition, and week-old fish.

  9. I think it’s been broken more than once between now and the WTF pile-on. Which if I recall correctly I didn’t see as so much of a pile-on. Well okay most of the commenters disagreed with the one, but I THOUGHT it was staying in polite territory, but I swear sometimes Europeans are weird and may use the same words, but don’t speak the same language.

    1. Actually it was a pile on because you misinterpreted what he was saying — though he also wasn’t incredibly clear but I got it because he’s an off-blog online acquaintance (as in, I’ve read some of his work and we’ve emailed a couple of times.) So I knew the position you guys assumed he was taking was in fact impossible for him, and with that knowledge it was easy to figure out what he meant. It’s funny how writers lose their ability to communicate when writing blog comments. I’ve been guilty of it myself.

      1. I honestly don’t recall what it was about, just that it seemed really odd*, then everything all of a sudden blew up.

        *odder than normal thread conversations here, which most people might consider just a mite squirrelly 🙂

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