When Duck Noises Fail Me

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

So, I’ve been packing/cleaning (painting starts this week, hoo hoo — not) house so we can put it up for sale for two weeks, and then we spent five days sitting/listening to lectures at a seminar.  (Was good.  Got to see Boss-Lady, aka my publisher.)

I got up much too late today, and I don’t know which of my regulars was supposed to be up.  I didn’t prod him/her, obviously. Yesterday afternoon/night we got home just in time to clean and do some things that couldn’t wait any longer, like laundry and dishes.

Overnight I started feeling like I was coming down with a cold and so I was intending to take a break and write something light, maybe fiction, for the blog.  (BTW I have talked Stephen Green, aka. Mr. Vodkapundit into doing an audio of “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear.”  We’re going to put it on audible and see how it does.  What do ya’ll think.)

So I get up and I’m checking comments, and I found I’d been linked back by someone who is very upset indeed at Sad Puppies and linked back to my Puppy Sadness Has A Cure post.

I’m going to admit right here, right now that I didn’t read the whole thing.  The bits I got to see on preview were hilarious enough that if I read the whole thing I’d probably end up in the hospital for a sprain of the laugh muscle or something.

First of all, this person says that Sad Puppies is about awards no longer being based on talent or popularity or anything but politics. At which point I thought:

Because, got it in one.  Sad Puppies is about no longer rewarding the “cool kids’ and the “correct thinkers” with awards that have nothing to do with ability or good work, but only with “We want to endorse this message.”

Of course, they don’t mean it that way.  And of course, they have a point, right?  After all, who could be against awards going to such immortal works as If You Were A Dinosaur My Love or Redshirts?  Talk about fiction that will live forever!

After all, I mean, who the heck wants to reward unpopular works, like say, Monster Hunter Nemesis?  I think I’m one of five people in the world who has read it.  And by five, I mean five million.

And as for ability how can people who want to be PRESERVED from reading anything right wing (by which they mean anything that deviates from the sacred gospel of Marx and Lenin, in case my readers are at risk of getting sprained brain trying to figure out how I’m right wing) know if those works they refuse to even open have talent and ability or not?

Oh, wait, they can’t have talent or ability, because they don’t hew to the sacred gospel of Marx and Lenin, which “all smart people” and “all good people” believe in, so they must be stupid and bad, right?  And this, of course, is how the “smart people” think.  For… er… a definition of think. You know, one that includes tourettes-like noises of approval for the left and no actual, oh, yeah, what do they call it?  Reasoning.

Which is why sad puppies this year is running a solid right wing slate? Right? Including such notorious right wingers as Kevin J. Anderson and Jim Butcher.

But then I read the rest of the preview in the tag and it said “Sarah Hoyt thinks you should think of the children — will no one think of the children — and that they should read only adventure stories.”

I was wrong.  They can be that stupid.  In fact, they can be that stupid with flares on and a little outboard motor to get to dumb as heck FASTER and with more style.

Do these poor creatures get an ironioctomy at birth?  Don’t they know “do it for the children” has been a joke phrase since the nineties?

And do they honestly, in their heart of hearts think that all the other side writes is “adventure stories”?  REALLY?  Hell, the story I mentioned the other day, Tom Bailey is more of an introspective memoir than an adventure story.  And has anyone who read my stories, particularly short stories, HONESTLY think all I do is “adventure stories”?  (Oh, like Thirst or What She Left Behind, or Never Look Back, or….)

And I realized what we’re facing is not just people who are stupid (though a few of them are.  And it’s not made better by their thinking their political ideology makes them “smart”) or people who are crazy (though a lot of them are, particularly the ones who honestly think humans are not influenced by sex hormones int he way they think.)  No, what we’re facing are the deliberately blind, the ones who put out their eyes so that they can avoid seeing “the wrong thing” and questioning received wisdom.

This is one of the great sins. It is a sin that enables all other sins, too, because if the received wisdom demands you believe some people are not human, you can’t correct for it if you’ve deliberately blinded yourself to all expressions of humanity from those you are told are the enemy.

And that is what we face. And that is what we fight. People who deliberately believe in lies.

I was talking to my friend Bill Reader about “If You Were A Dinosaur, My Love” and I told him my moral certainty that the story started as a gay short story (I have a vague idea that I might have published with Abyss and Apex [I’m reliably informed that I maligned Abyss and Apex, and the silly dino story came out in Apex.  OTOH I still don’t remember if I was published in Abyss and Apex], maybe, unless they were the ones who sent me a rejection saying I clearly had never been in another country and was “a narrow minded pain” — I can’t remember.  After 120 short story publications, they all run together.  However I do know that my stories with gay protagonists, like Songs or Never Look Back got a lot of pushback and editors saying “if you just change it to” before someone published them as is.  No, I don’t know why.  There’s nothing shocking in these stories.  But progressives imagine the rest of the country are homophobic troglodytes.  It’s important for their self image.  Which is part of the point I’m trying to make.)  “Not because it makes more sense that way,” I told him.  “But because liberals are convinced any gay man entering a rural bar will get beaten to death, even though the instances of exactly this occurrence are… let me see… I’m thinking… exactly zero percent a year.”  And he said “No, I know what you mean.  It makes liberal-sense.  I’ve started calling this “para-logic.”  I.e. the sense that they live in  a parallel world, and if you buy the premises of that world, instead of your lying eyes, and believe that the rest of the country are frozen somewhere between the middle ages and the imaginary 1950s filled with Stepford Wives, then their stories and actions make perfect sense.”

Bill is a better man than I and better able to articulate these things.  When faced with liberal paralogic, like the idea that I was serious about “do it for the children” or the idea I think children should only read adventure stories…

I just…

Because I work in the imaginary world, I try my best to see the real world as it is. Really see it. And reading this stuff is like reading dispatches from crazyland, so that I am caught between laughter and crying, but mostly I’m sitting here with my mouth hanging open…

So, yeah, Straw-Sarah, the one who is a twit and wants you to “Only write adventure stories” “for the children” would like to remind you to go look at the Sad Puppies slate and maybe to read these people and consider voting for those notorious right wingers, like Kevin Anderson and Jim Butcher, and Mike Resnick, or indeed any other right wingers you want to vote for. Or left wingers. Or people with no wings. (What the living h*ll, I’m a libertarian. Do whatever the heck you want. Just try not to vote for cr*p no one reads because that hurts the prestige of the award and hurts all of us professionals in the long run.)

Mind you, I don’t expect us to win. I know that worldcon has an elderly and conservative (in the sense of supporting those in power) fandom, who will not only not speak truth to power, but who are trying to support power as hard as they can. This is normal for the elderly and out of touch, and we shouldn’t blame them (too much.)

But then again I also didn’t expect these blog posts about Straw-Sarah. So maybe I’m out of touch. Or maybe I’ve come to the point where pointing and making duck noises is not enough.

So, as soon as I get my PIN (what is TAKING THEM SO LONG) from Sasquan, I shall read the books recommended, and other books/stories, and I shall carefully make my selection and vote. Because they need to know we’re out here, and we’re not whatever straw-creature they like to make up.

Defeat para-logic. Vote Sad Puppies. Show that you believe your lying eyes!

Do it for the children! Because, yeah, we’re totally about the children. You know, the children who read the “adventure stories” which is all we write.

Go. Write. Read. Have fun. And when you come to the place you can no longer point and make duck noises, shake your head and pity these people. They once had the ability to think, but they turned it in for a pot of message.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

115 thoughts on “When Duck Noises Fail Me”

  1. ” . . . making a list for a totally real interview that is coming up with a completely real news outlet. ”

    As Larry points out at his blog, the interview had already been posted BEFORE they wrote this. This is why I try to get my facts straight before saying anything. I actually read what the other side is saying, even if it means giving them blog hits. I refuse to go off half-cocked based on fifth-hand misinformation. In other words, I refuse to be like them.

  2. The next time I’m engaging in avoidance behavior (the logical thing to do when when faced with the stuff Sarah has to do), I hope it’s half as good as this.

  3. I have two thoughts on this today. First, prepare for failure, expect to win. Expecting defeat leads to defeat. If you go into this expecting to not win, there is very little chance that you will win.

    Second, Lynda Carter…

    3. Yeah, really; I went to college with Linda Carter–the engineering student, not the principal in Sky High.

      (Ducks and runs out the door.)

  4. I gotta love it. I just have to. These people are so serious that they’re funny. Really. Seriously. Think about it. You can’t fix stupid, so you might as well laugh at it.

    OMG THOSE SAD PUPPIES DON’T WANT TO HAVE LEFTIST CRAP SHOVED DOWN THEIR THROATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

    Ummm…

    Hey Nathan! Have you ever heard of a good story? Have you ever heard of not beating someone over the head with your message. How does entertaining the reader sound? Why are you so confused?

    Errrr…

    Yeah. They don’t get it. They never will. I’m ok with that. Everyone needs a wee bit of comedy in their life and that’s all that these lamebrains are good for.

    1. They don’t get it because they don’t want it. To their minds way of thinking feeling the purpose of art — literature, theatre, sculpture, performance (that college student carting a mattress wherever she goes is getting a grade in her performance art class), music, poetry, film, television or any other form — is NOT to entertain an audience. Entertaining an audience is only incidental to the purpose of art Art, which is to encourage people in the Path of Correct Thought.

      Thus the measure of Art is not craftsmanpersonship, nor entertainment value nor even making a person glad to have spent however many minutes and dollars consuming the Art. THAT is WHY they don’t have to experience “Right-Wing” art to know it is unworthy of Awards.

      No Work Of Art can be meritorious AND encouraging of double-plus ungood thought.

      Duhh.

      2. I’ve seen alleged book reviews that were in actuality performance reviews on how well the writer carried out his job of (unpaid) propagandist.

  5. Ya know, if it was all about the “special” people playing their silly schoolyard games I wouldn’t give a flip. But what they’ve done is position themselves into a logic loop such that in order to justify their crap they must destroy all that we consider of value, ie worth our reading budgets.
    If they left us alone we would return the favor, eat our popcorn, and watch in mixed amusement and sadness as the Hugos and Nebulas faded into obscurity. Followed closely by the SF departments of traditional publishing. But like spoiled children, if they’re not winning and the center of attention, they cannot tolerate the rest of us over here doing our own thing. It’s simply not acceptable. After all they are the cool kids, the smart ones, the chosen. At least that’s what mommy and daddy told them, and they now tell themselves in their ever so special cliques.
    So, duck noises are always appropriate, but when they retaliate against our micro aggressions it’s time to consider full frontal WMD. When they mock someone for his choice in shirts, mock back tenfold. When they bad mouth works they admit to never reading rip their favorites to pieces chapter and verse. And should they do anything that materially affects your business, your family, or your safety, a formal letter from a cheap lawyer along with a discussion with law enforcement is highly appropriate.
    My point is that their fundamental nature mandates that they not only run their own affairs, but that they must deficate in ours as well. So we beat them to the punch or punch back which is something they’re not used to.

    1. I know, talk about “shut up and take my money.” I’d even consider getting an Audible account for that.

  7. From the comments:

    It will never cease to amaze me that some fans of SPECULATIVE FICTION, FFS complain that the writing in the field is not *homogenous enough*.

    Yes, there’s the point. Exactly what everyone is looking to accomplish. I’m glad someone has been able to succinctly summarize all the chaotic work being thrown into this thing.

    😐

    There’s no need for any further research on alternate realities, the proof is all around us.

    1. You’re onto something. Maybe they have their timestreams crossed, and they’re responding to the Alt-Sarah, Alt-Brad and Alt-Larry of their universe, but in our reality. Maybe *those* versions of them really are jerks and the anger directed towards them is justified. 😉

      1. Fits the observations.

        Fits them better than anything else. Except, you know, the possibility they’re willfully lying.

      2. Haidt found it in the lab. Leftists are more delusional about their political opponents than anyone else, and the further left the more delusional.

        That’s Science.

      3. Hey, if there’s a Straw-Sarah, Straw-Larry, Straw-Brad…..

        I wanna collect the whole set! 😎

    1. The other side are rabbits, we’re puppies, and we make duck noises.

      It’s turning into quite the zoo.

        1. Well, yeah. And, according to their definition of “Diversity” they are correct. We, the Benighted, imagine diversity to be a variety of opinions without consideration of appearance, sexual inclinations or religious faith.

          When They say diversity, they mean a wide array of people of differing characteristics and experiences who all share one opinion.

          That’s why they pay the word extra.

        1. That would not be a problem if only it weren’t run from the monkey house Arkham Asylum.

          FTFY.

          1. The craziest guy in Arkham did a complete turn-around when he found out he’d been working with a Nazi, on the grounds that he’s a criminal lunatic, but an American one, and he moves to fix the problem.

            What do they do, when they find that their standards that are so basic that they don’t even need to be stated are violated? Try to re-write what happened so that it wasn’t really violated– the infamous “Sarah Hoyt is a thai lesbian whatever the heck troll” thing, for example, or more commonly excusing stuff like Clinton and several Kennedy’s “interactions” with women.

    1. How do I find my member #? I’m on the members list,but I don’t have either, a member #, or a PIN.

      1. I’m not sure there is one. The link that says, “Member Numbers” in the Membership menu refers to number of members, broken down by various geographic factors.

      2. I guess you get your member number with your PIN. I emailed, as nothermike suggested below, and they found that there was a typo in my email address in their database, and they sent both.

    1. As best as I could see from their metrics, they got 600 supporting memberships in the week before the nomination deadline. I wonder how many are Sad Puppies?

  11. The thing is, failing elites have ALWAYS arced into dogma over reality. You can see it in the weirdness published in the Hearst papers of the mid to lat e’60’s. You can see it in the idiocy passed around in Planter society just before and during the Civil War. You can see it in iteration after iteration of foolishness much esteemed by the fading Aristocracies of Europe.

    These pillocks don’t have any arguments. Nothing reasonable support their foolishness. If they were willing to engage the real world, they would be writing (and reading) much better stories. instead they have decided to retreat into their own hind ends, and pretend the smell of excrement is the delicate perfume of lilies.

    1. All they hear is their own propaganda, echoed back at them endlessly. Is it any wonder they don’t understand anything?

  13. Not having read the dinosaur story, I’ve no opinion on it, but careful–you’ve confused Apex (the story’s original place of publication) with Abyss & Apex (a completely different magazine).

    1. You are correct and I apologize. I still can’t remember if I was published by Abyss and Apex. My husband had a file with all my sales. It’s packed… somewhere. So I don’t know Apex at all and have no clue if they’re gun shy on the gay issue.

  14. The para-logic works because it’s got some truthyness to it– sort of like those candies that have huge “CHOCoBOMB- REAL GREAT FLAVOR!” and then you look at the line under “Choco” and it’s actually text that says “chocolate flavored food substance.”

    I actually know of a guy who was beaten up, in a bar, in the 70s, who had long hair. He went in there with another guy who had long hair. Ended up losing an eye, mostly due to the several hour delay in treatment.

    It wasn’t because they thought he was gay, or because he had long hair; it’s because he’s a professional level contrarian who will go and do stuff just because someone said it’s a bad idea, and his friend is a grade-A hippy a**hole who picked a fight with three drunk guys and then ran out of the door and drove off in the contrarian’s pickup before he even knew something was going on.

    I’m pretty sure if you asked the a**hole his side of the story, it would be more along the lines of “a dozen bigoted hillbillies jumped us for no good reason, yelling names, and threw me out the door, then dragged my friend off.” And if told to someone who was prepared to believe that random lynch mobs happen because you’ve got long hair, they’d buy it.

    1. I do know of one infamous watering hole where you pretty much had to be known by someone there before you walked in. Things calmed considerably after they bolted down the tables. Seriously.

      Have also heard of another that was more laid back, but the standard method of breaking up fights involved the barkeep firing a shotgun.

      Come to think of it, we have more than our share of dives around here . . .

  15. The saddest thing about sad puppies this year is that some authors have been pressured into asking that their names be removed from the suggested list. They aren’t even talking about sad puppies, they just happen to be good authors with lots of fans

    but they are the ‘wrong type’ of fans

    1. And my response is that we should take careful note of them. And do exactly as they ask.

      And never buy anything else they put out. They are the exact equivalent of the kapos. And, yes, I know what that term means.

      2. I don’t know (I’m don’t even know who it is), if they’re doing it as a rejection of Sad Puppies and all those evil-wrong-think-meanies it’s one thing.

        If they’re doing it because they don’t want to see their lives and reputations turned upside down by a bunch of crazed thought-enforcers who will do their damnedest to destroy their careers over an insignificant award no one outside of WorldCon gives much of a shyte about — well, that’s another.

        I see no reason to expect everybody to agree to die on this hill we* picked for them, particularly over an issue so inconsequential. I also see no value in an “either with us or against us” stance in one tiny battle of a culture war just breaking into semi-open hostility.

        Such an attitude, particularly in America, stands a fair chance of being met with belligerence. Belligerence of the “Well, then I’m against ya. I’m against all of ya! I’ll see the man meaning to coerce me in hell before I’ll bend!” variety.

        Or maybe that’s just me.

        *Sad Puppies supporters.

    2. Someone needs to tell them that being voted for by undesirables does not automatically make them undesirable as well… But we all know the truth. If Brad or Larry likes their work it must mean that they have been recruited into the Evil League of Evil Authors, brainwashed so that they will never again write anything of literary value, and will feel the exquisite tolerance of their former friends. It’s being outcast that they fear more than anything.

  16. I emailed my “Where is my pin?” question to SASQUAN a few days ago, and got a reply within twenty four hours. They said over 600 registrants in the last few days of January and SASQUAN is struggling to get caught up.

    John

    1. “So, as soon as I get my PIN (what is TAKING THEM SO LONG) from Sasquan…”

      Yep, here’s what John Lorentz said in response to my inquiry:

      “Sasquan ended up receiving more than 600 memberships in the last ten days of January, and the registration crew is working hard at getting everyone entered. Unfortunately, there’s a further manual step between registration and the Hugo system, so it will be a few more days before we have you entered into the Hugo system. As soon as we have it, you’ll get an email with all your Hugo information.

      I’m sorry for the delay–there will still be plenty of time to nominate items for the Hugos–nominations don’t close until March 10th.”

    2. I’m sure that people will get their PINs, but…..

      What deadlines for this process will slip past before you do?

      How many calls would the concom have to get from the likes of Scalzi, or a few publishers reps, or any of a couple of dozen SJWs, before they decided a certain prioritization was in order for PIN processing.

      Yeah, I know, paranoid to the extreme….

      Let’s ask True the Vote about their 503 application with the IRS, or Brandon Eich. Heck, maybe even Elizabeth Moon? Or the Phi Kappa Psi frat up at WVU?

      I’m sure each of them thought it was paranoid to worry about the things that happened to them…. until they did.

      Kevin Williamson has an article up over at National Review, called “The Brute Force Left”. It’s definitely worth reading.

      The Right is finally coming around to the understanding that what mainly distinguishes it from the Left is not its general preference for muscular foreign policy, its not always convincing defense of the Judeo-Christian tradition, or even its relatively faithful reading of the Constitution, as important as those things are. Rather, the fight between Right and Left is about coercion.

      2. I’ve been hoping that they wouldn’t be foolish enough to damage themselves that way– along with more normal “the honest people are in charge.”

        Not nice, but honest– it’s far too easy for “nice” people to justify horrible wrongs.

      3. Realistically, the whole Brandon Eich kerfuffle was probably because Mozilla became concerned that his higher public profile was in danger of drawing the attention of a Gray Lensman.

        3. RES | February 9, 2015 at 7:29 pm
          Realistically, the whole Brandon Eich kerfuffle was probably because Mozilla became concerned that his higher public profile was in danger of drawing the attention of a Gray Lensman.

          You meant GAY Lensman, didn’t you?

    3. Well, I went and requested my PIN through the webpage I linked above, and the page said an email had been sent to the email address listed, and it has not shown up, several hours later.

  17. Late to the party, sorry, and nothing really to add, other than a mild amazement at the effort these people put into deliberately misunderstanding so much of the world. I wish I had that kind of energy and focus.

  18. When I saw the title referring to duck noises, I thought this was going to be about Melissa Harris-Perry asking Eric Holder to quack like a duck… Which obviously lead to images of the guy from Duck Dynasty…

    1. That is where my fevered brain went, too:

      Geeze, can’t figure out why NBC News’s credibility is dissolving faster than a snow-man -lady–person of indefinate gender but benefiting from white privilege in Harlem in July.

  21. Is Butcher a left-winger? He seems pretty apolitical publicly, but characters like Michael the actually sympathetic Catholic guy and whatnot make me wonder.

    2. Obviously Butcher is a fascist, he has a strong Male as the main character. [Evil Grin]

      Seriously, Jim Butcher hasn’t shown/said where he is politically and he got on the “Sad Puppy” ticket because he writes good stories.

      1. So, kind of an old-fashioned liberal from back before it meant rabid rabbit, maybe. An Orson Scott Card-esque liberal, if you will.

        That’s probably a bit unsurprising.

    3. I get the impression he doesn’t much care about politics– one of those Decent Guy types.

      It’s hard to tell, though, if the author is honest with himself– and the character of Michael (especially taken with his family) makes me think that he is very honest with himself, and about other people. That goes a long way towards a “shrug– who cares? He’s not political” response.

      1. Nod.

        Also, I visited Jim’s forums and I saw nothing about the Hugos.

        So if Jim knows that he’s on the “Sad Puppy Slate”, he’s not talking about it.

        2. I think Larry emailed him about it. He mentioned something of the sort a while back.

  22. Pingback: SAD PUPPIES: the march of the straw men | Brad R. Torgersen

  23. Hey gang, fresh troll over at MGC! Apparently MZB and Delaney are cool but V-x Day is evil incarnate and any list with him on it is to be shunned. (Pssst, it may be You Know Who.)

    1. It’s almost certainly him. He’s sort of trying to conceal it, but his obsessions reveal him every time.

          1. He’s not even very good at it, though. One pathetically weak string in his bow. And even that one looks poorly researched through secondary, not primary sources. I’ve seen nuns get a better rise out of people.

  24. Meh. I was bad. I went and pissed on some well known authors wall last night. I was rather profane about it. since the response I was responding to was itself profane.

  25. These SJW types remind me of Andrew Ketterly from the Magician’s Nephew, repeating lies until it would break their minds to see the truth.

    1. Also represented in The Last Battle, in the persons of the dwarfs determined to not be “fooled” again:

      Like most of the Narnians, the Dwarfs were originally taken in by the False Aslan and Shift’s lies. However, when Tirian rescued a group of about thirty from their Calormene taskmasters and told them how they had been deceived, they refused to follow him, choosing instead to live only for themselves from then on.

      In the Battle of Stable Hill, they shot both the Calormenes and the Narnians: they didn’t want to follow Aslan, Tirian or the Tisroc, but to have Narnia for their own.

      Of these thirty, only Poggin left the group to follow Tirian, and at least one of the other Dwarfs repented and came into Aslan’s Country, even after participating in the murder of twenty Talking Horses. The other Dwarfs stayed for eternity in the outermost part of Aslan’s Country, convinced they were in a lightless, smelly stable.

      “They will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they cannot be taken out.”
      ―Aslan, describing the Dwarfs in Aslan’s Country [src]

      http://narnia.wikia.com/wiki/Dwarf

  27. meanwhile, this gem: “I have a vague idea that I might have published with Abyss and Apex, maybe, unless they were the ones who sent me a rejection saying I clearly had never been in another country and was “a narrow minded pain” – That was not us. Do you even know who we are?

    1. Yes, I might have been published by you, in fact. I read the magazine once upon a time. I’m sorry I confused you with Apex. It never occurred to me a magazine would call itself that when Abyss and Apex exists. I remember when I read the silly story thinking “New leadership? Did they come down in the world.” In fact I admitted to the mistake in comments, but I was busy with family things last night and didn’t change it in text.

  28. As to who we are, ask Brad Torgersen, who I just reviewed, and John C. Wright, who I recently published. I understand you may not have read my magazine, and that’s okay since I have not read your writing (except here.) Maybe we should read each others’ work.

    1. Again, I’m fairly sure I was published by you. I don’t have the file though. It would be… late nineties early 2000 if it’s what I’m thinking about. At the same time I got a rejection to a story set in Portugal telling me I was a “narrow minded pain who’s never been out of the US” (I was born and raised in Portugal, my family is Portuguese. I write under my married name.) I’m willing to assume that wasn’t you — but I know I got that rejection around when I submitted to you. I might be going senile. I remember what my office looked like and opening the rejection but not the magazine. When my husband finds his files, I’ll see if/what I published with you. (I’m not being flip — I’ve published around 140 short stories and sometimes fans tell me they loved the story x and I can’t remember the title nor having written it. It’s not that they don’t matter, but there are so many of them. When I was trying to break in, I circulated 100 stories at any given time.)

      1. Okay, we’re good. It just surprised me that you were confusing a magazine on the SP3 slate with a magazine that had written a story everyone who pushes SP3 holds up to ridicule. (We published a lovely poem by Rachel Swirsky, but never anything by you, I checked.) I had a slush reader who had to be let go due to mental illness around the time frame you mention, so it’s possible you were unconscionably slighted. If so, my apologies on behalf of Abyss & Apex.

  30. Two things here. First, and most ominous, is the Net Neutrality regulations just announced by the FCC.
    http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2015/02/09/republican-fcc-member-warns-net-neutrality-is-not-neutral/
    In this article is a picture of a guy holding the new regulations. Its a thick as a phonebook. Phonebooks have more than one use. You can use them to look up a phone number… or you can put one on top of some guy’s head when he’s tied to a chair in the intake room of the local precinct, and hit it really hard with a nightstick. This is known in certain circles as “questioning the witness”.

    Now second, the people that have been stirred up by the Sad Puppies campaign are the kind of people who support Obama’s Net Neutrality power grab. They like the phonebook sized regulations, because they look forward to using those regulations to MAKE Y’ALL SHUT UP. They will enthusiastically call the cops on you, and request that the cops give you the phonebook treatment. If the request is made by someone important enough, the phonebook will come out.

    Just so we are all -perfectly- clear who we are really dealing with and what’s at stake. They’re 21st Century witch finders, and we are the witches this week.

    For myself, I’m voting a straight Sad Puppies slate because -my- purpose in all this is to give as many of these weirdos an ulcer as I can. If they’re having a shit hemorrhage because the Sad Puppies Vandals are Ruining Everything, awesome. If a bunch of them rage-quit because they can’t have their own way anymore, even more awesome.

    1. The thing is, there are a lot of people who are “Ethnic Liberals” the way some people are non-religious “ethnic Jews”; they practice the culture and don’t really think too much about it.

      Which is why reducing the absolute flamers to incoherent rage is important, beyond the satisfaction of watching them foam. When they go full-tilt-bugshit, the ethnic Liberals get an incentive to really look at what All Good Liberal are expected to support. And since much of it is obvious swill, some of the support erodes.

      1. CPS, you’re right of course about the “ethnic liberals”. They don’t want to be in the jihad setting guys on fire, they just make quiet noises of approval and send money to buy kerosene. Their other name is “useful idiots”. We don’t really care about them. They won’t change their minds, but they won’t bestir themselves either.

        What we are engaged in here is a deliberate provocation. We found a hornet’s nest of screaming liberals and now we are hitting it with a bat. The whole point is to enrage them and make them all come out here in the sunlight where everybody can see what loathsome little insects they are. And more to the point, where we can identify and get at them one at a time.

        Its already working too. Some authors have asked to be taken off the slate because they can hear the buzzing sounds already and we haven’t even started bashing it really hard, just a couple of preliminary pokes. Fair minded people are asking themselves how it can be that a SCIENCE FICTION award has SF authors backing away with their hands up, don’t shoot style. Its not reasonable.

        That’s what I call a win.

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