A French Polished Murder

*This is the novel I’m trying to finish, slightly hampered by fact I’m NOT in a funny mood just now.  Ah well, maybe tomorrow.*

A French Polished Murder

By Elise Hyatt

The Fast And the Electrically Furious

We were thirty years old – and, in his case, a couple of months — when I came to the sad conclusion that I would have to murder my friend Benedict Colm.

This was as sad as it was necessary, but there was no getting from the fact as my son, Enoch – whom I called E in an attempt to save him therapy bills as he got older – came speeding into the living room, atop Ben’s Christmas gift to him.

The gift was an electric toy motorcycle with a top speed of ten miles per hour, an acceleration that might seem impossible for a small boy to achieve in a home that was less than seventy feet in either direction, but which E managed, quite often.

I heard the horn blare a moment before E came riding in and, with the practice born of two weeks of terror, dove behind the sofa, while Ben, who stood square in the middle of the living room, his arms crossed on his chest, became an impromptu traffic circle.

E sped around him once, twice, then headed the other way, at an increased velocity.

Continue reading “A French Polished Murder” →

Until we meet again


Dejah Thoris Burroughs Carter Hoyt, June 12 1989 – June 8 2009

She was the cutest ball of fur you ever saw.  For reasons that would take too long to explain, Dan and I broke into the sun room where she was locked — away from her mom.  I think she was maybe four weeks old, all fluff and meows.

We bottle raised her and her two brothers — not easy since I had a full time job as a translator at the time.  I always thought it was because of that that she was a little shy.  Not socialized enough.  Didn’t like being held.  However when Dan lay down on the floor to read, she would climb between his shoulder blades and fall asleep.

When we put wood down in the hallway of the house in Charlotte, she escaped from where we had her locked up and hid under the neighbor’s porch for two days, refusing to come out.  Dan had to go under there to get her.  The fit was so tight, he had to strip to his underwear to get her.  

As she became tamer with time, Dan was her special person.  She used to sit on the bed, on my side, and give me dirty looks when I came to bed, because I was clearly a third wheel.

When we moved from Charlotte, for various reasons, (mostly renting) the cats ended up outdoors.  DT took up hunting.  She could bring down anything, from rabbits to birds.  In Columbia, SC she got me involved with raptor rescue by bringing down a hawk (I think) that we then nursed to health.  This while she had a bell on.

When we lived in Manitou Springs and traveled a lot, we boarded the cats while we were gone.  If DT got wind she was going to be boarded, she’d run all over the neighborhood to avoid us.  More than once we left on vacation and left instructions with our friend Charles to the tune of "When she comes to eat, grab her and take her to the vet for boarding."   By this time, we’d have had them indoors only, but her friends, Pete and Randy liked being outdoors and so she did too.  If we tried to bring her in she’d cry her heart out to join them.

She was the youngest of the first batch of our cats and answered to ‘baby girl" as readilly as to "DT".  She always answerd to Dan, no matter what he called her, though. 

When first Randy then Pete died, we brought DT and Pixie inside.  She was Pixie’s best friend, comforter and nurse as he declined and died, four years ago.  I don’t care what animal experts say, she missed him till today.

If she loved you, she groomed you — usually wildly.  We called it "hair by DT" when she licked your hair so it was all at odd angles.  If you weren’t feeling well, she crawled in bed with you and did this.  Lately she was afraid one of us would think she didn’t love us.  She’d walk between us, licking one and then the next.

She’s had diabetes for six months, and we’ve been giving her insulin morning and night.  When she seized twice last week while I was away, we thought it was the diabetes.  But when I came home on Friday she couldn’t close her mouth and had bloody drool.  I thought "tooth.  It has to be tooth."  But we took her in today, and it turned out she had cancer of the jaw which mestatized all over her lungs and spine.  She was in pain and she was only going to get worse.  This cancer was very aggressive.  It couldn’t have been there more than two weeks.

We did what we had to do.

At times like this, I wish I had more faith in a life after this.  I believe there is a G-d, but that doesn’t necessarily imply a belief in the after life. 

Heinlein said it’s entirely possible normal people die and disappear forever, but not "saints".  Well, I don’t know about saints.  And I know every theology is fuzzy on the afterlife of cats.

But tonight I want to believe there is a rainbow bridge and that she’s there, with Pete and Pixel, all of them young and hale again, waiting for us.  Until we meet again.

You know

You know you’ve lived with a book for too long when the only "last line" that feels right is "And she was done."  Messages from Fred, anybody?

(Though the line stands.  It works for the book.)

Sarah Talks Back at Music

I’ve been sick. I’m late on books. I haven’t been able to play in my own diner in days. So I find myself in the store, talking back at the music in the ceiling. There was Five For Fighting’s Superman playing and I yelled back "Oh, yeah, try not being faster than a speeding bullet." I know I play with the theme of "superpowers have a price" in the Shifter series, but honest to BOG, at least becoming an animal has a larger downside than being bullet proof.

This song definitely wins the winey-*ssed lyrics prize.

Here are a few more things I’d like to have said:

 

Five For Fighting – Superman (It’s Not Easy)

 

I can’t stand to fly

Oh, yeah? Try it with security lines, buster.


I’m not that naive

WHAT does this have to do with no being able to fly?

I’m just out to find
The better part of me

Perhaps you should look behind the sofa cushions.  I find when people set out to find themselves, if they just do a really good spring cleaning, they usually get more out of it than by going on a spree.  Of course, clearly it’s more fun going on a spree.

……..

It’s not easy to be me
 

Where we find that Superman is REALLY twelve and hasn’t yet discovered it’s not easy being anyone.

Wish that I could cry

Onions are good for that.  Or did they perform a tearductomy.

Fall upon my knees

Oh, sweetie, I’m so not touching THAT with a ten foot pole.

Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

No one wants to hear you lie whine  boliviate about the home you’ll never see.  Trust me.  Geez, like the Roman imperial guard lamenting their lost Germanic homeland.  But none wanted to go back.

It may sound absurd

It DOES sound absurd.  Message from Fred, much?

But don’t be naive

Excuse me, have we been introduced?

Even heroes have the right to bleed

Now there’s a right to fight for.  "We MUST fight for our right to bleed."  Uh uh.  Shakespeare said it better.  "If you cut us, do we not bleed?"  In fact I declare a moratorium on lyrics reprising Shakespeare.

I may be disturbed  whiney

Fixed it for you
 
But won’t you concede

Anything, if it will stop you playing the watering pot from public location speakers, thank you much.

Even heroes have the right to dream

Yes, but must they TALK in their sleep.

It’s not easy to be me

Oy, vey, it’s not easy to LISTEN to you.

 

Continue reading “Sarah Talks Back at Music” →

My Penguicon Schedule

If you happen to be in the area, please come say "hi!".

Sci-Fi/Fantasy – The Perception Sarah Hoyt
Daniel Hogan
Jeff DeLuzio
Sarah Monette
5/1/2009 18:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
What is the general perception of genre writing? Pros and cons of genre writing vs. traditional fiction.

Opening Ceremonies Rasmus Lerdorf
Jon "maddog" Hall
Jane McGonigal
Wil Wheaton
Windell Oskay
Sarah Hoyt
Matt Arnold
5/1/2009 20:00 0h50 Ballrooms 7/8  
After the countdown ticks to zero, Tux will welcome you to the convention, and you will hear from our guests of honor!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly David Crampton
Mary Robinette Kowal
Sarah Hoyt
Dan Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
Cherie Priest
Jeff DeLuzio
Sarah Monette
5/2/2009 13:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
Character Development. Bringing your imaginary friends to life. Discussion of what makes a character live on the page. Heroes, villains, supporters. Different methods and ways of making your characters real to your audience.

To See a Universe in a Grain of Sand Sarah Hoyt
Dan Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
Daniel Hogan
Sarah Monette
Sarah Zettel
5/2/2009 15:00 0h50 Columbia Literature  
Worldbuilding. How to create your universe.

Lie to Me! John Scalzi
Mary Robinette Kowal
Sarah Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
5/2/2009 19:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
Authors telling lies….what will happen next?! (PS – the audience gets to lie too!)

Liar Liars! Catherynne M. Valente
Sarah Hoyt
Brian Briggs
Cherie Priest
5/2/2009 8:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
Discussing lying in fiction, unreliable narrators, fake memoirs and histories, authority in prose. Books like The Things They Carried that play with the idea of the author as a liar to great effect.

Dancing with Wolves – And Vamps! Sarah Hoyt
Dan Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
5/3/2009 10:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
Fantasy allows for the ultimate "bad boy" romances. Your lover ripping your heart out can be literal if he’s a vampire. Such stories can be fun, others horrifying. What makes a good love story, what’s just plain disturbing and why?

Finding Your Voice Mary Robinette Kowal
Sarah Hoyt
Dan Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
Sarah Monette
5/3/2009 11:00 0h50 Poolside 1 Literature  
1st Person vs 3rd Person writing. Discussion of pros and cons of different voices in writing. Benefits of the "God" point of view for an author and a reader. Benefits of the main character as narrator for the author and reader. Limitations of both.

Book Signing Catherynne M. Valente
John Scalzi
Jim C. Hines
Wil Wheaton
Sarah Hoyt
Dan Hoyt
Elizabeth Bear
Daniel Hogan
Brian Briggs
5/3/2009 9:00 0h50 Ballrooms 7/8 Literature  
Come meet some of our great authors and get your book signed. There may or may not even be readings done by some of them – how well can you beg?

Writer’s Workshop Special Sarah Hoyt May 2, 2009 4:00 pm – 6:00 pm 2h Boardroom Literature  
A special treat for participants. Ms. Hoyt will be doing some writing exercises and discussing the craft with you.

Where I read the beginning of Draw One In The Dark

I didn’t think my voice was yet QUITE up to a full short story, so this is me reading the beginning of Draw One In The Dark.  I’ll do the opening of the other novels too, over the next few weeks, and eventually post it on my site.  For now, after much bugging of my friend Kate Paulk, (and Rob Hampson, and Francis Turner) it’s hosted here:

http://www.sff.net/people/katepaulk/xtra/dw_a0045.mp3

DST T-shirts

So excited! promotional t-shirts for DST here. Attached picture modeled by younger boy who is wearing it back to school. One of them is being donated to the Penguin Con auction, others going to members of my writers’ group — you know who you are. About ten left. I MUST think of contests so you guys can win them. They look terrific! Superb art by Alan Pollack!