85 thoughts on “Crack Open Some Cold Memes”

  2. I celebrated my birthday by going with the family to Green Dragon in Ephrata, PA (middle of Lancaster County, Amish country!). It was nice to just exist among real normies for a while. Several fun things happened, a couple even related to some memes.

    One meme related was a shop that sold cute little crocheted animals had cute little crocheted “Emotional Support Dumpster Fires” complete with the catch phrase: I’m Fine. It’s Fine. Everything Is Just Fine. My oldest son sent a picture to a friend at work, who had my son buy two for him. When he went to pay, there was no one in the little shop, so he left the $8 next to the unattended cash drawer. It was very nice to be in a high trust part of the world again.

    Another shop sold lots of properly phrased t-shirts (the kind that would get a kid suspended from school in most suburban school districts). My favorite was “I need new conspiracy theories. All my old ones have come true.”

    When I saw an Indian family buy good cuts of meat from an Amish butcher stall, I said “That family is definitely assimilated.”

    My youngest son drove, as his Tesla was the only car that would fit us all, and he likes the FSD. When it’s driving, the display shows what the system “sees” on the road. Driving through a small town near Green Dragon, a Amish driven horse and buggy was coming towards us. The display showed a person walking in front of a small truck. Horses everywhere are insulted at the representation.

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  4. My sister was so spoiled. I sent her the one about hiding toddler pants and she said Daddy threw away her ugly black shoes because she cried every time Mamma made her wear them! UPDATE: They had been black and white but got so scuffed up our mother dyed them black! Maybe sister had a point.

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    1. In the South, even Methodists immerse. Only the Episcopalians sprinkle. Unless there’s a drought. Then, the Baptists pour over, the Methodists wipe with a damp cloth, and the Episcopalians hand out an IOU. ;)

      [Yes, it is a joke. Almost. Right now, it’s dry enough that people are spraying the catfish for ticks.]

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      1. I’ve heard of a tribe in the Sahara whose baptismal practice is a sand ‘burial’, as they just don’t have the water to spare.

        —

        How do you identify a Methodist coffee maker?

        The label says “Do not immerse.”

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        1. Is that the machine, or the Methodist? Because they are both ‘coffee makers’ in different senses of the term. 😄
          ———————————
          “It is a maker—”
          “Aieeeee!”
          “…of coffee.”

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        2. I still remember the completely blank look on the server’s face when my cousin ordered “sweet tea” from her in a restaurant out here in Silicon Valley while visiting from Indiana.

          That one should be right there in the definition of “um… what?”

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    1. After seeing the oh-so-condescending post about eggs, [Narrator voice: Show people you’ve never bought eggs without telling people you’ve never bought eggs.] I have serious doubts.

      I must be Hitler, homophobic, raaaaaacist, and transphobic. (Being wary of a firearm wielding tranny ain’t a phobia, it’s common sense.)fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

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  7. Trivia: Someone responded to the chart of immigrant percentages that a similar percentage of Ireland and Norway came to the US.

    Epstein files – we should not make arrests solely on the basis of possible code words in emails.

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  9. All right, people. The headstone the fox is sleeping on has a last name than ends HER.

    Does anyone know any last names that end HER and are short enough that a fox’s tail could cover up the rest?

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      1. FISHER looks plausible, but that character peeking out from between the fox’s hind leg and his tail looks awfully squared-off for an S. Could be an E, making WEHER another candidate.

        Those squarish fonts, man… I saw a building with a great big logo on it — UES — in a font so square that I first read it as “LIES” (Once upon a time somebody wrote (in Playboy, IIRC) that the words “FLICK” and “FLICKER” were banned from comic books in the 50s-60s to avoid a related misread.)

        UES turned out to be Universal Environmental Services, a firm that says it’s “on a mission to make renewable energy services universal…” et-buzzwordy-cetera. I hope that labeling their building “LIES” was done by a hand that mocked them, and a heart that fed.

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          1. What rules out it being an E? I can’t see curvature in those lines.

            When I’m finally recognized as the rightful Ultimate Despot, EVERYTHING’S gonna be Times New Roman or Courier, on pain of a good shock-collarin’.

            I’ll reserve Comic Sans for my own exclusive use.

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        3. There was a sign trade magazine that had a yearly Ugly Sign Contest issue.

          One year, a candidate was a video rental store called SUPERFLICKS.

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              1. Hmmm. Hadn’t even thought of B. “BH” is a not-uncommon digraph in Gaelic names. This is harder than it looked!

                But there’s still hope: The science of CPR progresses apace. Let’s dig her up and ask her!

                (No, we can’t just move the fox. The EPA would be all over us.)

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  10. I see AI now has pretty much solved the finger problem but cannot yet handle rifle optics nor handguns in retention holsters.

    I have Leared which singing trio really needs autotune – they’ve got the lyrics down exactly, but cackling and ebonics really grate.

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      1. Grok confirms …

        Many modern AI image models, including Flux-based ones, have training and post-training adjustments that make them hesitant or inconsistent when rendering highly pointed, sharp, or potentially “threatening” blade tips—especially in photorealistic styles. This isn’t a strict outright ban on all swords (as you’ve seen some blades generate), but the very fine, needle-like thrusting point typical of a true musketeer-style rapier often gets softened, rounded, obscured by angle/lighting, or subtly altered to avoid triggering violence-related guardrails.

        Got some very pretty pierced cup hilts on ‘musketeer’ rapiers; piercing was HUGE gaps, though. And Grok also included a knucklebow, rather uncommon with the cup hilt.

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    1. Interestingly, if you look closely you will note that he drew the “lookin’ fer a fight” guy wearing award ribbons on his fatigues in an obvious combat zone, but no visible rank.

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  16. Pingback: Instapundit » Blog Archive » COME ON, IT’S THE WEEKEND:  Crack Open Some Cold Memes.

  19. And that argument about the “easiest and lowest level of necromancy” is obviously from someone with a sheltered life. Most (non-sheltered) people spent their lives saying “I can sleep when I’m dead” and such things. They do NOT want to be raised from the dead. You think they want to have to deal with all the bulls**t they put up with for however many years they lived ALL OVER AGAIN? No wonder zombies are always pissed – you woke them from the first good nap they’ve had in decades.

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    1. It’s interesting that the Haitian Zombies were slaves of the magic-user that raised them from the grave.

      Not actually dangerous and when the spell was broken (via salt) they went back to their graves.

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      1. Caribbean slavery was much worse than American slavery. They had to import enough slaves to entirely replace the slave population every five years.

        No wonder the most horrible thing they could think of was being unable to escape even by dying.

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    1. I’m not even trying to resist. 🤣

      Y’all done made yer beds…

      I especially like the part where they are Shocked, Shocked! at the high cost of that ‘Free!’ Canuckistanian health care. 😄

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      1. That “High Cost” has multiple definitions.

        Obvious: Financial.

        Secondary: Wait for care. Implied third definition.

        Third: MAID (By application, is not voluntary. See item #2.)

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        1. FWIW

          Europe is almost as bad. Pocketbook as bad. The wait, I suspect, is as bad (even if not hearing about it on this side of the big pond). As far as I know, no countries in Europe have MAID.

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            1. A judge ruled that a doctor who killed a woman by drugging her, and when that failed, having her relatives hold her down while she begged for her life, for the lethal injection — couldn’t have know what she did was wrong.

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