There’s been entirely too much death this year already

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

We have two Emergencies going and one “I’ll do in all our names, okay?”

I really could use this another month, considering that right now we’re up to 10k for the main water pipe and 2k for Valeria, treating her so maybe the pissing on everything stops. Maybe. BUT some months are like this and these are real emergencies. Also, we’re okay. (In case you worry. We won’t hurt ourselves. Don’t hurt yourselves either.)

So, Julie Pascal, our very own Synova (Who makes those delightful drawings I sometimes feature, at least when they’re not by Caitlin Walsh) moved to tiny town TX a few months ago. The idea was they’d have a paid off house, and she’d get a job, and her husband could finally write his science fiction series. Makes sense. They’re younger than us.

Well, about two weeks ago her husband got sick and was hospitalized. Turns out that due to a genetic issue his viral illness killed his liver and he was too weak for a transplant. (This is what I understood. Julie has not been very clear for obvious reasons.) They’re on COBRA, the same service that cost us 28k for delivering son 33 years ago. And she is staying in a hotel until he passes which is estimated a week, give or take. Her kids are away from jobs they might lose before they can go back. If you can’t help (AND LORD I GET THAT RIGHT NOW) please pray for the whole family. Anyway, our Holly has started a Give Send Go for them: If you can give, go here.

Second, and almost as urgent: Sean Gartlan, some of you know him as Wolfie from the old Baen Bar. Kate Paulk played havoc with him when she tuckerized him in the con series.

For some years now, he’s been caretaker first to his dad, then his sister. Meanwhile his mom was the sole bread earner in the house. She passed this week. His family is renting. They need to pay cremation costs. And he needs to find a job. I think he’s in his forties, his resume is a shambles, and you all know what it’s like out there right now. Also, if he doesn’t find a work from home job, he’ll have to find someone to caretake his sister. I honestly have no clue what he can do, but if you can help on the job front, get in touch with him. He has a Go Fund Me. (Yes, I know but it’s still the go-to for a lot of people.)

Earlier this year, Peter DaDalt died suddenly of a heart attack (no, not OF suddenly, he had a heart condition.) I never met him in person, but he was a fan who became a friend anyway, and his death hit me very hard. Here is his obituary. The obituary asks for donations for golfforekids, which was important to him. They fund research in childhood cancer. (He lost his oldest son to childhood cancer.) Obviously it’s not a right now emergency to donate to them, but maybe add it to your donations when you have money.

I have made a donation, in the name of Sarah’s Diner our non-political facebook group, where he was a frequent poster. Not as much as I’d like to. See this horrible month. But I’ll try to write and donate more a month that’s not quite so crazy.

93 thoughts on “There’s been entirely too much death this year already”

        2. It would be nice if more of us Huns were closer together, geographically. I’d bring over a lasag…salisbury steak or pulled pork for those in need.

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            1. Hear, Hear. Would definitely be helpful to be closer to fellow Huns.

              Sadly short in the drachma department as this past year has been extremely expensive. Prayers for all and their families.

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      2. Seriously. I had trouble explaining to son where the chicken wire is. (He’s trying to fix a hole the mice come through under their sink, and landlord won’t be able to get to it for a little while. Meanwhile the cats are having way too much fun.)

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        1. “explaining to son where the chicken wire is. (He’s trying to fix a hole the mice come through”

          Hardware cloth? Mice will go right through chicken wire.

          Unless he’s building an enclosure under the sink to keep chicken in so they’ll eat the mice as they come up…

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              1. Depends. Some terriers are lazy, some cats are manic murderers of anything smaller than them.

                A properly trained terrier would do quite well, I imagine. The cat, well, training can be miss, and near miss (they don’t cotton to it).

                But a good barn cat or two will end whole fields full of mice on the daily. Neighborcat has been bringing dead things to my door for a good while now. Every single day.

                I think he thinks he’s paying the rent for use of the yard. Deposit one dead thing, stop for scritches, hunt until sleepy, nap in the sunbeams. That’s pretty much his everyday.

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            1. He should let her be. If she’s anything like Indy, she’ll come up with that better mouse trap. (Thank you for the newsletter the other day. I really, really needed a laugh at that point.)

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                3. Still taking apart the fountains. Indy either thinks the Holy Grail is hidden in the fountains or is engineer at heart :) (The newsletter and pictures with it were great)

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                6. We have 3 “fountains”. The Pagoda, where the “fountain” part is ceramic. Too heavy for the cats to lift out or bat away. The other two are really inserted into the water, anchored to the bottom with suction cups, on metal bowls stick tight. Otherwise, Tj would pull them out. (Ordered the blue one. They sent white. Locally Mini Petmart carried them.)

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                7. Madam what you appear to have here is a mechanical engineer cat. This is bad REALLY bad. It could be worse though, could be Electrical Engineer cat. If he goes outside keep him away from the car…

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                  1. I know, I know. TBF he carefully unplugs the fountains and seems to stash the cords away so his sisters can’t play with them, before he starts the disassembling. Now he also hides the filters because his sisters tried to eat one. I mean he’s a good older brother, but–
                    And he doesn’t go outside, thank heavens. I fear for the computer, though.

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          2. Cat job is less catching of mice than chasing of them. If generally well fed they are inclined to play with them until hungry.

            That’s why terriers are better for mouse suppression.

            Top 10 Dog Breeds Ideal for Catching Rats
            1. Rat Terrier
            2. Cairn Terrier
            3. Yorkshire Terrier
            4. Norfolk Terrier
            5. Jack Russell Terrier
            6. West Highland White Terrier
            7. Dachshund
            8. Miniature Schnauzer
            9. Lakeland Terrier
            10. German Pinscher

            Individual breed summaries at article. Remember: whether cats or dogs, breed matters when mousing’s wanted!
            ~
            Rgrds,
            RES

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            2. Our cats play with them, murder them (sometimes), and then don’t clean up after themselves.

              My daughter asked me one morning a few months back if I’d noticed the crime scene in the bathroom. Thankfully they did it in the tub which made cleaning up easy (it’s just deep enough the mice can’t jump out so the cats think its an ideal playpen). We did find the remaining half corpse in front of the stove though.

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            3. And for cats they seem to need to have been taught hunting by momma. Otherwise their instincts tell them chase and try to catch but they’re clumsy at it AND they don’t know how to close the deal (i.e. how to actually kill). You’ll do better with semi-ferals or indoor/outdoor cats raised by their mom. Fostered kittens often have marvelous personalities, but run in horror when presented with a real mouse. And Purebreds are mostly just for pretty. Although don’t count out the Maine Coons, their sheer size means their blows are back breakers rather than using the claws for hauling the mouse in to get the death bite. They’re a bit like the Abominable Snow Man in this old Looney Tunes clip

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              1. Oddly enough, our current Mighty Hunter was raised from near-birth by humans. (I only found out because the local shelter has a “friends of” group and I posted a picture of our asshole and his foster mom laughed and said he’d always been an asshole.) He does get confused by the actual kill sometimes, but given that he’s killed 11 mice over two short rounds (indoors, dammit!), he’s very, very good.

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                2. We’ve bottle raised, and raised from very young another, all 3 were avid hunters. In fact really wish we had a video camera for Tyke when he was learning to stalk birds. His first stalk was a pigeon 3x’s bigger than he was. There was the time we caught Pippie, Tyke, (bottle raised), and Yellar, and Feathers, (kittens when we got them but not bottle raised), around a mole hole. The four cats sitting at 4 corners, pile of dirt being thrown up out of the hall. Every few seconds one of the cats would whop a mole as it would poke it’s head out. It was “whop”, dirt comes flying out, “whop”, and repeat. Then Pippie jumps straight up shaking her paw, with a mole on it. It was “whop”, mole bite paw, paw shake, mole goes flying off, 4 cats take off after it, mole disappears. Score mole 1, cats 0. One of the cats eventually got the mole, because it was found dead under the tree out front. Cats were it’s only danger (refused to put out poison).

                  Thump, much later, was a hunter. He was 3 weeks when I found him. Not bottle raised but still very young.

                  Of our current 5, we have 3 known hunters, if only because they were feral, one 3 years old (newest), the other two still kittens, but not tiny young kittens when rescued. Other two, were < 1 week when rescued, and while had mom to feed them, she wasn’t free to teach them how to hunt. The were 5 weeks when she quit feeding them and the rescuer found homes for (4 total) the two we have. They haven’t had a chance to prove whether they are hunters or not, other than the killers of the red dot, various balls, and stuffed birds.

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    2. Yes. I didn’t want to explain. I think it’s in his obituary. “I didn’t want to explain” — I’m feeling kind of battered and words are hard. Which is a problem right now. No, not by our water bs but by all this death.
      Again, quoting David Drake: “If it can be fixed by money, it’s not a problem.” Even when we were broke and couldn’t afford the money, we could borrow. Death, OTOH, I can do nothing with.

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      1. Yeah, it’s all hitting me too. Right now, I’m wearing a t-shirt made for a college friend of mine who died in ’22. Not sure why, but this morning, it was sitting there and I thought “I need to recognize Don today.” So, I wear the shirt with Godzilla on it…

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      2. In a funny Pete story – he told me he once pulled out the “my kid DIED from cancer” to as he put it “hit them over the head” and get someone spewing some health care or some such argument who tried to tell him he had no idea how difficult it was to navigate the healthcare system. He was laughing as he told me about the reaction.

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        1. My aunt and uncle.

          Their second daughter, born with spina bifida (’67 – ’80). Not only when she was born. Medical staff wouldn’t even clean her let alone let her parents hold her. Parents fought from the very beginning for her. In the end medical was fighting for her too, lost the last fight, but they fought. The fights over payments? Do not know the full story. Do know she was a poster child for Arizona State March of Dimes, so some financial help. But her older sister stated that she didn’t understand, until later, why there was suddenly money available (yeah).

          Then they adopted a young child. Medical issues didn’t start until he was a teen. Gotten worse as an adult (major seizures caused by brain lesions), and all 3 of his children have medical problems. Aunt and uncle are experts dealing with the medical community and insurance. They earned that the hard way.

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          1. Oh yes on learning the had way on dealing with the medical community and insurance. Right now I’m butting heads with bureaucratic stupidity at my husband’s Medicare Advantage company. The CT scan in preparation for his aortic valve replacement showed some issues in the digestive system, so his cardiologist referred him to a gastroenterologist — who wants a colonoscopy. Because it’s a diagnostic one, we’re expected to pay a larger share of the cost — and they are insisting that the doctor is only in-network at the two hospitals, not the endoscopy center run by the same healthcare system.

            We cannot afford to have Medicare treat it as out of network — we’re already struggling between shrinking income from the retail business and inflation jacking our out-go. I ran out of time today, so Monday I have to call the healthcare system’s billing and scheduling office and see if I can get it sorted out at that end, because the endoscopy center says the doctor in question has been there for years and there should be no reason he needs to “update his information” like the insurance rep suggested. We cannot afford to have Medicare treat it as out of network — we’re already struggling between shrinking income from the retail business and inflation jacking our out-go.

            Which means more time suctioned out of my day when I need to be getting the e-books ready for my backers now that my Kickstarter is finished. I set my planned delivery date as July, thinking I was giving myself plenty of time and hoping to deliver early, but it seems like everybody’s coming after a slice of my time.

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  5. Now I think I understand why I suddenly had money come in out of the blue, more than enough to pay a surprise bill. Funds sent, will try to do more when possible.

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      1. Heh. My January started with an unanticipated root canal (minor abscess was draining, so I ignored it for months) and featured a scheduled colonoscopy before all was done. I can truthfully to have taken it at both ends in January.
        ~
        Rgrds
        RES

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  8. Prayers up. Taxes will take a bite this year, and I’m lacking the statement that will tell me if we’re getting money back or if we’ll owe. Murphy “helped” do the taxes last year…

    When things are set, I’ll see what I can give.

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    2. Taxes will take a bite this year.
      ……………………….

      Same. Federal is not looking pretty. Won’t know until March when we finally have all the paperwork, and can see how the state kicker helps (or not). If lucky, will get enough back from the state to pay back what we have to pull to pay the feds. Doubt it, we’ll owe more than normal to the state too. Doubt the kicker will cover that and what we owe the feds.

      Bidenomics have not helped, at all.

      Prayers are up. Wish we could do more.

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  9. It is all too true, that if you live long enough you wind up burying almost everyone you ever knew.

    But better to attend the funerals of others than your own, eh?

    Grim but true.

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  10. Wolfie’s dad had a floor refinishing/building business. Wolfie can estimate, he can manage buying, budgeting project management type stuff. I remember chatting with him about that sort of thing on faceplant. I hate to say cold calls because that stuff really bites but he’d be good at the follow up guy once you bought the carpet or tile, he’d be able to estimate how much for the house, the cost, how long, the crew, that stuff.

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  13. Donated on all three, given (where option permitted) in the name of my own dearly departed CACS. I pray things will improve all around, but haven’t seen many of my prayers answered in this world; I’ve trust in the next, however.

    Like others, ’tain’t so much as I’d like to be able to give, but I’d need Bezos money (or at least Taylor Swift assets) to be able to do that.
    ~
    Rgrds,
    RES

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  14. There is too much death this year. My MIL of blessed memory died last week and her funeral was Tuesday. Only 4 of our 6 kids and 5 of our 10 grandchildren were here for the funeral. The rest had already used up their bereavement leave for the year. It’s FEBRUARY!

    There were still plenty of people to fill their longtime parish church for her funeral. But still. How bad a year is it for you when people under 40 have used up their bereavement leave in February? For two of their cousins!

    Prayers up for the departed and may Himself have mercy on the rest of us still here!

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      1. Thank you so for the hugs. It means more than you can possibly know this side of eternity.

        But them we will never know the effects of the good works we do will effect things in eternity.
        Much love to all. 💕❤️💕

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  17. I’m humbled by everyone’s care. Freeman has been able to visit with his brother and our kids. He seems to be mostly comfortable. All of the socializing has made him tired.

    We knew that he would need a liver transplant but truly expected that he’d be well enough on medications while we worked through that process. Instead he’s become rapidly more ill. The doctors tell us he has only days.

    Sarah did get a couple details wrong but they aren’t significant. Our insurance isn’t Cobra but still out of pocket with the Texas exchange. Just knowing that I can make the next payment on that without worry is so huge that it’s hard to express.

    Thank you Sarah and everyone. Thank you so much.

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  18. The caregiver one hits home, hard. I was caregiver to my parents, first Mom with her cancer and then Dad. I left a good job, ended the process 12 years later in 2021, 50 years old and with no recent job history.

    There are jobs out there. If his sister is on Medicaid or Medicare there are also options for daycare.

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      1. My dad is home! He got some stents done and has to go back for the other side in a couple weeks, but he is doing so much better than for a year or so!

        Nobody knew his heart had any problems, even his doctors. They thought he had walking pneumonia at first.

        Thank you all for the prayers!!!

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  20. Re: Sean….in SOME states family can get paid to do caregiving. Sometimes spouses are excluded. It’s worth looking into in whichever state he resides in.

    We will do what we can, otherwise. Prayers.

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  21. Well, I mean about the Pauline letters; the Corinthians just didn’t have no raisin’. The Galatians, well; they got contaminated and confused and tried to add to the completed work; so yeah.

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  24. So I may as well add to this. I’ve read almost every day but am an infrequent poster. I’ve entered hospice for cancer. End in weeks.

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  25. Synova posted on her FB page, her husband passed today (Sunday 2/18).
    Her post has been shared by others.
    May he rest in peace, may G*d hold his loved ones close, and may his family find healing and joy on the other side of grief.

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    2. I heard. And I lost one of my “big brothers’ in Portugal today. My brother’s best friend from childhood.
      Massive heart attack. I need… a month with no deaths to catch my breath. JUST to catch my breath.
      I’m going to miss both of them. but the world will miss them more, both of them.
      I should go to bed.

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    3. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.

      Carol and I had dinner with Julie and Freeman some years ago. It was wonderful fun and spectacular conversation. I sent Julie a contribution, and will continue to pray for them both.

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  26. All I have is another prayer for Julie and loved ones.

    Maybe there isn’t such a thing as too much prayer, but there is too much prayer for the wrong reasons. I’d much rather be sending one for, say, a new writer to have a successful book launch.

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