158 thoughts on “No, Mr. Bond, I expect You To Meme”

      1. I looked up a recipe a couple of years ago and got on the mailing list, apparently. Usually, it’s harmless, or even useful….. I think someone was scraping the bottom of the fridge for that one, though.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. “This is Hanukkah” is spot on.
    The “idiot crusher” is sick but accurate. I did some reading on that thing and its creators, it was pretty amazing. One video showed the head guy dismissing the people with actual expertise in the field as “old white guys”. So it’s not just “go woke, go broke” but “go woke, go die”.

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    1. When I posted the meme, someone commented, “I wonder what it feels like, knowing you paid to die.”
      I replied with “Absolutely nothing. Their brains ceased to exist before a pain signal, or danger stimulus, could reach them.”

      Liked by 1 person

        2. Two daughters, Spaghetti sauce, on walls though above my reach (I’m 5’6″), So NOT QUITE so vigorous as the boys… And elder Daughter still doesn’t like spicy.

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          1. Spaghetti sauce on older son’s room. And we hadn’t had spaghetti in WEEKS. (Okay, turns out sandwich and he used packaged spaghetti sauce, and… but splotch of red on ceiling? HOW EVEN? Oh, old Victorian. Ceiling at least 12 feet.)

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          1. I took off my shoes so I wouldn’t get scuff marks on the ceiling. I would also climb the walls. I’d brace one foot on each side of the hallway. It was textured plaster and had a good grip.

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      3. Me three.
        Three boys, and molasses on the ceiling in the living room. Our living room is not close to our kitchen. I’m still not sure how it got there.

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    1. Black ball cap.

      Small amount scrambled eggs on bill.

      Front of hat, in gold open quote, 2″ space, close quote.

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        1. The thing about Last Christmas is that it’s George Michael, so the melody is nice, at the very least. I don’t even know Christmas Shoes, and sounds like I don’t want to.

          (Then again, my favorite since I was little is “Little Drummer Boy”, which many people apparently hate.)

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          1. I love little drummer boy, because it’s like a metaphor for my relationship with Himself. My writing is the only thing I have to give Him, so, as inadequate as it is, I’m a gonna bang my drum.

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                  1. Well, it’s not just, him, but his ensemble. From Album Crescent City Christmas (which is quite good):

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          2. In my case, my dislike of The Little Drummer Boy is based on the animated version. I’m ok with the song itself.

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          3. I’m good with, “Little Drummer Boy,” but tired to the teeth of, “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

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      2. At least it’s actually about Christmas. “Last Christmas,” is simply a breakup song and revolves around the hurt feelings gs of the si get.

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        1. Technically about Christmas. Kid’s family all dies, he’s enslaved, sold, and forced to work in a circus. At the very end of the hour long animated “movie” his best friend is killed just in time for him to play for the Christ Child.

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          1. More evidence that country music has completely taken over pop.

            If for some reason Taylor Swift wasn’t enough.

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        1. Yeah. Some even seem to be doing fairly well. I hunt them out when we’re on the road as places to get in a walk in bad weather.
          But also yeah, there are a LOT of semi-empty malls and walking those can be creepy.

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  8. The night-shift one could also be about natural red-heads and warm, sunny beaches. Except you’d never, ever see me out on the beach after sunrise. I burn too quickly.

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    1. The Fed holding down the rates for so long means that Treasury has “monetized” an enormous amount of debt at very low fixed rates, which now that rates are high and inflation is running amok, is biting the federal balance sheet pretty hard, and shaking it.

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      2. Fixed rates for six or twelve months and then needs to be rolled over, so not really fixed.

        If they had made it all 100 yr bonds at 2% they’d be looking pretty good now.

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  12. Very Off Topic

    I forget which of you great people recommended “Epubor Ultimate” but I purchased it and It Is Great!

    Minor problem with finding Kindle ebooks in my Desk Top Kindle Library but it helps to have downloaded the ebooks to my Kindle For PC. [Crazy Grin]

    I only have a few (ie 248) Kindle ebooks to convert. [Big Crazy Grin]

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Upon the “what’s really bothering you?”

    I feel called out.

    eye twitches uncontrollably.

    Regarding the castle suburbia meme. I think I had to run wire and network that house. Ye blobs and little fishes, I’d almost forgot about that one.

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  16. Well, just another Saturday in Tennessee. Turned on the TV to watch college football and watched Radar maps instead. It’s very interesting in the Nashville area right now… the ABC affiliate caught a tornado live on one of their cameras.
    (We are NOT in the Nashville area).

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    1. Could be worse.

      You could be watching the game get swept away by a tornado. :-P

      I wonder how they’d announce that? “There goes #78. No, wait! He’s grabbed onto the light tower! He’s holding on for all he’s worth…”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. TINS. When a tornado hit Kansas State University, a Topeka TV station’s weather cam caught it live. And got caught. The last thing before they cut back to the studio is, “It ate the camera!”

        Well, I remember the World Series game that got interrupted by the earthquake. The sports guys did a darn good job of reporting the temblor. Better than the usual talking heads.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Al Michaels has a storied career in sports announcing, including the most famous call in ice hockey history, but the Loma Prieta earthquake was his finest hour. Few newscasters could have done better, and a whole lot would have done worse. I need to dig up his memoir some day, to read what he has to say about it.

          Oh, and the memes were pretty decent too. Though 65 countries celebrating independence from Britan all on separate days … seems unlikely to me. It takes just 23 people in a group to have a greater than even chance that two share a birthday. Sixty-five on separate days … I must resist the urge to go on a research binge to fact-check this.

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          1. We had friends who of their 5 children, two shared their mother’s birthday. Then there was the day when the two called 911 (early ’70s) because they were stalked followed home. The officer responding, was angry at them because he thought they were making a prank call. Three birth certificates later, officer discovered differently.

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          1. Long ago essay by Berton Rouche concerning a family and their tomatoes. Seemed they harvested the first crop and had it for lunch….and most of them wound up in the emergency room hallucinating golden bees flying around their heads and the like. Seems they’d followed a neighbor’s advice and grafted the tomatoes onto Jimson weed plants. (The real question was why the neighbor never poisoned himself. He’d been doing it, and eating the tomatoes, for years).

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  18. Thanks for the memes. Need the lighthearted stuff. Been sick for two weeks, managing to get flu and coof at the same time. Lungs are OK so unlikely to croak. Have gone suddenly gray, which was unexpected. I have a really odd haircolor that tends to mask gray. But now I am showing major patches. Dropping 15 pounds was a plan. Doing so by being ill was not. Grumpy as a teenager.

    Wah. Freaking. Wah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Take your vitamins as you start feeling better. You will still have the gray, but more dark/original color hairs will grow, or become more prominent again.

      I started going gray more than twenty years ago, but it hasn’t caught on all the way yet! Mwah ha ha!

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      1. Technically I didn’t see gray, with black (salt & pepper), until I was late 50’s. First white hair OTOH was 45 years ago (age 22). My hair is/was dark auburn brown. A few white hairs (red highlights) stood out.

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          1. For years, I’d tell people that there was no grey in my beard.

            Now, there were some white in my beard. [Crazy Grin]

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      1. LOL. Thanks for that.

        I keep it short, but there is enough to see some time elapsed. In the changed areas, the roots are a new color, or lack thereof. And I do not think my lifetime of pseudo mouse brown (various girlfriends “What the heck color is this???”) has suddenly gone platinum blonde.

        Considering several folks on my mom’s side went suddenly gray in relation to a major health event, this might be a warning that I need to make some life changes.

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    4. That bites. Just got over a flu, now I have the cough that never ends. Still not as bad as coof/flu combo.

      Prayers for ya. Like all things, this too shall pass.

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  19. And with all this respiratory crud going around, once again I recommend stocking up on generic guaifenesin or brand name Mucinex, and on using a heating pad on your chest if you start feeling gunky. The Coof hates heat, and the other creeping cruds don’t like it either.

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    1. I’ve a fluffy heating pad that vibrates when you scritch the ears. Doofus does not like the new swing shift messing with his warm spot time, but he abides with difficulty.

      Fingers crossed, no more flus this season.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Miz Kitty has been very very happy with me sleeping more than usual. When I try to work from home, she will scold and nag to try to get me out of the chair and over to the bed.

        Goofy cat…..

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    2. This 100 times this. Asthmatic here with a tendency to Bronchitis. First sign of congestion or chest issues get yourself on that guaifenesin if nothing else indicates against it. It saves me A LOT of trouble.

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  20. I think the Christmas tree at the mall in Novia Scotia must have been left over from the ones that were supposed to go to Sunnydale :)

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            1. I’d place the Killer Tomato movies a few grades below B. Then again, I’d place the real-life horror movie we’re all stuck in a few grades below B, too.
              ———————————
              Always, always have a Plan O — for Oh Shit!

              Liked by 1 person

        5. See above. Rouche also had an essay about a bright orange man who, it turned out, had ‘way too many tomatoes and carrots in his diet.

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      1. Raises paw I keep mine with me at Day Job, in case Fr. Martial (former military chaplain) and some of the others start comparing challenge coins. Mr. Long-Slavic-Last-Name has seen it, and he almost fell over laughing, followed by “I need that!”

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        1. Well, I also have the coin from my service. (Grin) Also have a bunch of ones I give to coworkers with “Nie moj circ. Nie moje malpe.” (Grin)

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  22. Re the DuoLingo plushie – I did lessons on Duo for a total of 1111 days. My longest, just-ended streak was 674 days. I studied, in order, Japanese, Latin, and French.

    When I finally evaluated my progress, I realized that I could not read, write, speak, or hear Japanese any better than when I started. I did finish the Latin course but did not learn anything that I had not learned back in High School.

    The French course was touted to be teaching genuine Parisian French, but no two of the five narrators pronounce any given phrase the same way. And after ten months I still couldn’t understand much of what they were saying without the written prompts or the speak-slowly option.

    When I finally admitted that I was only stubbornly logging in to do one or two French lessons a day just to keep my streak going, I decided it was time to quit and do something useful, like learning Linux. ;-)

    The real irony is that according to their stats, my average of 20 minutes a day in 2023 put me in the top 4% of learners worldwide. Et je n’arrive toujours pas à parler français. (Google traduction est mon bon ami!)

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    1. well, this correlates with my belief that the way to learn languages is to start boring and memorize VAST amounts of words WITH TRANSLATIONS.
      Mostly by copying them. though learning to pronounce them is also good.
      Then move on to studying grammar and structure.
      After a year of that, start reading in the language till you internalize it.

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      1. THIS. Memorization is the basis of all learning. If you don’t have it (in your brain, you can’t use it.

        Memorization just works. It ain’t pretty, it ain’t cute, but it gets the job done.

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    2. I agree that memorization is a primary tool for learning any language. My primary goal in the beginning however, with the Japanese, was to learn to HEAR what was being spoken, and at least be able to distinguish the words even if I could not translate what they meant. I simply was unable to do that. I had the same problem with the French, and with German when I took two years of that in college.

      I can pick up a moderate vocabulary and basic grammar rules, enough to translate the written exercises most of the time. But my brain does not readily recognize spoken words in anything except English, and even then a pronounced foreign or regional accent can render the speaker unintelligible to me unless it is someone I know well, or they speak quite slowly and distinctly.

      I have often told customer service people flat out “Stop! I cannot understand you. Please repeat that slowly. Thank you.” Sometimes it works. Other times, I simply downrate them on the survey, especially if it asks “Could you understand the representative?”

      Is this just me? I mean, after more than 25 years of listening to Anime in Japanese, I am still totally dependent upon the English subtitles for recognition of any phrase except “Good morning!”

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      1. 100% I do not understand most people if they have a heavy accent, no matter how much I try. Really bad in math department for my first degree. I swear. English as a 3rd or 4th language with horrible accents.

        When I worked for a company where I had to work with a section that was in France, all I could say on any reviews were “I can not understand their English. OTOH their English is a whole lot better than my French, which does not exist.”

        Also ran into this when working with customers at my last job. The worst was a customer whose IT insisted on being the buffer between us and the end user. Never a good situation because the user requirements were never translated by IT without a lot of back and forth, and IT translation of what they thought the user needed. Every single time. Add an accent I can barely understand? OMG!

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        1. Up until the past 2-3 years, my hearing has been superlative, at least as far as volume and frequency. Now, not so much sigh. I also majored in music, played violin for years, could repeat any melody I heard. It has only been speech recognition that eluded me. I can hear the sounds. I just can’t parse them into words. It is one reason I changed my major in college from education to straight music. In my student teaching class, second graders, I sometimes could not understand the students.

          I’ve lived in many parts of this country – NE, NW, MW, SW, Deep South and West Coast. So I’ve been around lots of different dialects and pronunciations of “standard” American English. Most people I can understand without much difficulty. But anything too far off from center and I am lost. The average New Delhi tech support may as well be speaking Hindi. ;-(

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  23. “Get mother what she really wants…”

    Ad shows a suppressed 1911.

    …

    Mom was a competitive bullseye shooter.

    (Imagines mom with access to suppressed 1911)

    (grin )

    (Huge grin)

    (“Oh don throw me in dat dere briar pach” grin)

    Sigh… miss ya, mom.

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    1. Long time ago…

      “Don’t you know about Elton John?”

      “You mean he’s queer as a three-dollar bill? So what?”

      “SO WHAT!? You don’t care?”

      “I’m listening to his music, not dating him.”

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      3. And admirably he has generally adhered to the seldom followed music industry “Shut Up and Sing” rule. He’s not made any great secret about things, but he also is not annoyingly crusading about anything as far as has impinged on my not-following-the-music-industry consciousness.

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        1. Freedom/Liberty means you have the right to do as you please so long as doing so does not infringe upon the rights of others. I really don’t care what musicians, actors, others in general, do so long as they keep it in their own yard and are not violating the rights of others. None of my damned business, but, once you cross that line you are fair game.

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