Do It For Love

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

Yes, I know, I have told you to do it for spite. And you know, if you can’t muster love, then duty, need or spite will do.

But if you can do what you do out of love, it really works better.

I’m one of those people who tends to get lost. Mostly because I have ADD, but also because I get depressed. And when I get depressed, I can — sometimes — still produce, but I don’t enjoy it, it’s a slog, and forcing myself to work makes me more and more depressed.

Which you could call “the story of 2023.” It got briefly better when we adopted Indy and Helena, littermate orange kittens. It just did. But then Helena died, and we still don’t know why, and I went right back into a morass of depression, which had a lot of other contributors, including two deaths in the family, moving out of my beloved homeland of the heart, etc. etc. etc.

We did go back to Colorado this summer, and it helped. Although it can no longer be mine (the auto-immune flare up when we crossed back up to altitude was spectacular, and I’m glad we only stayed five days, because of that) it’s good to know it’s still there, and some trends have gotten better, even if it’s still held captive of fraud-by-mail.

But it somehow wasn’t enough. Well, these last two weekends have been very busy, and this week I’ve been fighting some kind of sinus infection, but the spirits just keep lifting.

This is because Celia Hayes (Sargent Mom) very kindly allowed Indy’s parents to have another hot date before fixing, and they produced a litter of seven.

Two weekends ago we went to get all seven, since they were our responsibility, and last weekend we drove around like a deranged kitten fairy, giving them to their permanent people, where to be fair, they will be very happy.

This involved of course prying them out of Dan’s hands, because he wants to keep them all.

Now we’re done to two. Circe, who doesn’t look like Helena (maybe that’s good) but is a little orange girl cat and very smart and perhaps too persistent. (If she were a boy her name would already be Harry for Houdini) and Toast, second of her name, who like Cedar Sanderson’s Toast (first of her name) is a flame point siamesish.

Toast 2.0 is promised to friends, but…. well…. she loves me a lot, and Dan says we should keep her. I told him if he really wants her he should negotiate for her. So far he hasn’t, so likely we’ll let her go to her new people. Which, yes, will hurt, but then again, perhaps be best for all of us in the long run? I mean, we’re sixty one, and five cats are a lot, particularly since Havey and Valeria are 14 and have kidney issues. (Then again– Sigh. I really like the little trouble maker.)

Anyway, the last two weeks have been turmoil filled, and I’ve had to do a lot of things I’d rather not, and yet, I feel better. (Yes, chapters are coming to substack. It’s been the busy, not the depressed preventing it.)

Why?

Well, as I explained at Mad Genius Club just a few minutes ago, it’s like introvert versus extrovert.

Both can go to a party or a conference and be good while there. But the introvert will come home and crash. The extrovert wants to go go go forever.

It’s the same some things please you, some things don’t, but nothing fills the well like doing it for love. Whether it’s writing, cooking, cleaning the house (which I desperately need to do since family get together is here this year) or looking after helpless kittens and children.

If you do it for love, it will fill the well. Whatever your well is.

And while we live in a screwed up world, and everything we do can’t be for love, try to do some things for love in the middle of what you must do, and what you can do, and what others expect you to do.

Trust me, it will make everything better, if now and then you do something for love. It should deplete you, because you’re adding work. But somehow it doesn’t. Perhaps because, as dad puts it, “He who runs for love doesn’t tire.” But more importantly, doing anything for love revives you.

Go do something for love today, and like — Per RAH’s advice, your budget should include the frivolities first — budget your time so you can do something for love on the regular.

And now I go clean this pigsty. For love.

This year, I’m very thankful for loving my family, including my sons’ ladies. It wasn’t a given, but I’m grateful I do. Because love recharges and revitalizes.

And for these two — too — I’m heartily thankful:
Circe, the redhead, and Toast 2.0 the siamesish:

76 thoughts on “Do It For Love”

      1. (War of the worlds heat-ray sound effects)

        “His heart simply melted away! Nothing can stop these unearthly creatures from conquering everyone!

        (War of the worlds heat-ray sound effects)

        “Aaaaaaaaaa! Kitties so adorable!!”

        (War of the worlds heat-ray sound effects)

        (Purr-purr-purr-purr!)

        (War of the worlds heat-ray sound effects)

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  4. I love when you post what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. I hope your Thanksgiving just gives you more to be thankful for (and maybe an extra kitten).

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  7. I see there was a terrorist attack at a Niagra Falls border crossing a couple of hours ago. Still early days for investigation, but cars don’t normally speed up the wrong way and just explode on their own. May the two dead be the terrorists and all others safe/recovering.

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    1. And now they’re saying it might have just been a couple of dudes trying to get a stolen car across the border. I wish I had confidence in the FBI and ATF.

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      1. Riiiiiight. A stolen car. That just happened to blow up at the border. Who’d they steal it from, Ham-Ass?

        If there was any possible way they could pin this on ‘Right-Wing Extremists’ they’d be shrieking ‘Domestic Terrorists!’ all over the news. Therefore, it’s Leftroids, either ‘Pro-Palestinian’ or ‘Trans’ activists. Those are the ones they’d shut up for.
        ———————————
        The Democrats trust violent criminals and terrorists with guns more than they trust you.

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            1. They do if they are a hyrbid or electric car. They may also have had booze with them. The official story (which needless to say people are rightly skeptical about) is that they were speeding through their border on their way to a concert-to see Kiss. Either the story is a real life duplication of the song Detroit Rock City, or the people spinning it are so uncreative that they ripped it off from the song.

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          1. Saw video of the car going airborne. FBI has “already,” concluded their investigation and appear to be going, “Nothing here, move along.”
            Don’t know what to believe.

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            1. Certainly not the FBI, sucks to say that but I do believe the deep state/Biden’s FBI is more worried about panic than the protection of the people they loath, hate, despise, and want dead.

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            2. If there was anything particularly explosive in the car, I think testing would determine that fairly quickly after residue samples were examined. If the forensic examiners didn’t have field tests that can check for that sort of thing, I would be surprised. I’m still surprised by the fact that there was an explosion. But it’s not impossible. And there aren’t many signs of a blast from the explosion.

              Based on the video, it seems clear that the car definitely did not end up where it was supposed to. Blatant stupidity seems the only real explanation. At the very least, terrorists should have done enough planning beforehand to know that they would need to be going slower when they reached that turn.

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              2. Oh, I can totally believe an explosion from a gas tank (especially a partially filled one) creating a large fireball. What makes me question their narrative is that there’s no car left. It’s just little bits and pieces.

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                1. Maybe because it was a Bentley?

                  And that’s only partially tongue in cheek, btw…

                  The lack of large chunks is odd, but the fact that the car appears to have blown up just short of a bunch of pillars (as seen in at least one photo), and not one of the pillars shows any sort of physical deformation (just what look like scorch marks) suggests that there was nothing packing a bang inside the vehicle.

                  Our problem is that we’re confronted with an apparently disintegrated car, but physical objects around the car’s final crash site that don’t appear to have suffered more than some discoloration from the flames. Additionally, a sidewalk that’s just three lanes away is almost entirely clear of debris (there appears to be a single tire/wheel there). And the gigantic windows on the other side of the sidewalk show one oddity that might be an impact point from debris, but no other apparent damage. If the FBI is lying, and these really were terrorists with a car bomb, then they built the most ineffective (and possibly expensive…) car bomb ever.

                  Ergo, the most likely answer is that the car’s high speed coupled with it’s height off the ground (a still of the car in the air shows that it might have been higher than the top of a nearby box truck, though since the truck is in the background, it’s difficult to be sure), caused the car to disintegrate on impact.

                  And then, just like in the movies, a single tire rolled out of the ensuing conflagration and up onto the sidewalk, where it was halted by the giant window, and fell onto its side.

                  Or maybe that’s not really a tire, but simply something that looks like one from a short distance away.

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  9. It was very difficult to avoid catnapping one of them when I met them, especially Toast 2.0 and Banshee! Good thing the other one I’d have been tempted by had been dropped off at her new home by then! But five cats is a bit much for me, too, especially one with Toast 2.0’s intellect and the drama that would no doubt ensue when it hit L’s tortitude and C’s seal point floof attitude!

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  10. Five cats aren’t too many. Ask how I know. Even when 2 barely tolerate me. (I am the one who applies flea stuff, and clips claws back. But the other 3 still love me. Am also the one who insures water and kibble bowls are full.)

    Kittens are cute. Indy with his side kick is adorable.

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    1. I dunno…a lot depends on the space they’re in.

      Any more than the three we’ve got in our crappy 1970s split-entry house would feel like too many. Those three already feel like too many sometimes, especially since our old lady (17 years, terrible arthritis) is getting to be immobile and very demanding and tends to pee outside the litterbox now. And the other two hate each other. Actually, it’s the female that hates the younger male, and she’s slowly taught him to enjoy antagonizing her in return despite his affectionate nature (which she’d be regretting right now if cats were capable of it; she’s fast and smart, but he’s no slouch and literally twice her size).

      But that doesn’t mean I don’t want another one. :) The not-little-now little boy could really use a young companion to keep him on his toes and give him some love…

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      1. 2250 sq ft for five cats to share. Oldest is 10 years old. The other 4 are 4 and 3 years old. No medical problems. Everyone uses the litter boxes appropriately.

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    2. There’s actually a valid answer to “how many pets is too many.”

      The answer is “One more than you can give the amount of individual attention each needs.”

      That means the answer is going to vary based on the pets, people, money, and space involved.

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  11. I’m reminded of what’s said in my family when someone starts moaning about getting old: “don’t worry. If we don’t bury you for love, we’ll bury you for stink.” Always seems to perk them up. My daughter dropped it on me the other week, so it’s going on at least one more generation.

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  12. My wife’s followup mammogram and ultrasound (today) were negative for scary stuff, so we will be even more thankful this season.

    However, the CDC let us down again. They refused to even test the samples collected from that Chinese biolab in California. Video contains newly-released details from bipartisan Congressional report.

    Where else are they running these? This is not Democrat vs. Republican. This is almost a biological weapon attack by China against the US: COVID mice, Ebola, many other pathogens found.

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    2. It’s time (OK, past time to defund every fed department except defense. Their entire point of existence is to keep us safe from the fecal matter hitting the air oscillating machine, and they can’t even be bothered to look into suspicious stuff. This is bovine waste material of the most offensive olfactory sort (not directed at you, Orvan)

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  13. A car blew up at a bridge connecting the US and Canada. Happened near Niagara. It’s too early to say for sure what happened… but cars these days don’t generally spontaneously explode.

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          1. Not by preliminary reports. A lot of speculation. The reports aren’t 100% sure whether it was Canada or US was the target. Odds are US.

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          2. What little wreckage pictures shown so far show twisted burned chunks. The fireball looked like “gasoline” not “metals”.

            Given the 80+ speed and abrupt stop, this might be “driving while stupid”. But my initial impression was “car bomb”. The lack of a crater suggests either “small” or “amateurs”.

            Also possible this was a “Hollywood” pyro bomb, propane and gasoline, possibly with a blackpowder initiator. Enough “bang” to shred a small car, but no real-HE brisance to shatter the pavement under it, nor send forth a big shockwave to shatter nearby windows.

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            1. Reports are two dead bodies in the car. The preliminary reports make it sound like the car flipped before it got where the driver wanted it. But the 48 hour rule definitely applies here.

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              1. FBI is walking back the early explosives claim, and now reporting that it “isn’t sure”. Says bad driving might have been the cause.

                But as I noted above, cars don’t just blow up like that. Bad driving might have triggered the event, but something made it much bigger than it would have been otherwise.

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                  1. Yeah, my feeling from the start was that the car wasn’t supposed to blow up at the spot where it did. So I’m willing to believe that this wasn’t a terrorist incident. But I still suspect that there was something in the car that made the fireball bigger than it otherwise would have been.

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                  1. I’ve seen the video from the security camera. It was very odd. At the speed he was going, it doesn’t look like there was any way that he could have safely navigated the turn (and from what I’ve heard, he did want to cross into Canada). So I’m not sure what he was thinking driving that fast in that exact spot.

                    Unfortunately, the spectacular finish isn’t in the video, as the instant the car hit the barrier on the side of the road, it flew up into the air and out of view of the camera. The video doesn’t show the impact.

                    The video’s here. Ignore the foreground, and instead focus on what’s going on at the top.

                    https://www.wivb.com/news/local-news/niagara-county/niagara-falls/watch-car-goes-airborne-at-rainbow-bridge-and-crashes/

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              2. But the 48 hour rule definitely applies here.
                ………………………

                That has stopped the usual suspects (MSM) since when? Or is this a first?

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  14. Something witty, pithy and on topic. With a wry jest, and typical sarcastic humor.
    For some reason I love that response, but being old I threw my back out patting myself on the back.

    Interesting thing happened monday night during my in house dart league, for the uninitiated darts are much like bowling, an excuse to drink while competing at something with rules and much bragging and a certain amount of testosterone/estrogen for the ladies. Only with darts it’s easier on your back because darts weigh in grams and not pounds. I had a bye night but went anyway, someone always needs a night off and it’s my only social outlet that involves drinking, beer only, shots or hard liquor makes me act like a viking and that is socially unacceptable and I don’t like being locked up. Beer just makes me happy and pee a lot, I am getting old and pee a lot anyway, so that part is a wash. I substituted for a guy on a guy and gal team, in their forties. New team, first year newbies, I on the other hand have played since the seventies way before plastic darts. I was better, but I can be a terror on the boards if the spirits line up correctly or you piss me off. The owner has a team as well, we were to play his team, the owner didn’t want me to play against his team, I am the equal of his top player. They are in a heated race for first place with another team led by a guy everyone likes to hate. She came in didn’t have a partner, so I played, what the hell. She shot better than all of us, beginners luck, maybe, but she did so all night. The owner kept looking at me. Finally I had to tell him it’s not me, it was her. He just walked away shaking his head. We won the night 9-4. She kept saying how much she loved darts. Now the poor girl will be hooked for life. She was happy, but it may have been evil?

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    1. Beer just makes me happy and pee a lot, I am getting old and pee a lot anyway, so that part is a wash.

      Passed on to a friend as “quote of the day”. You (source-less-ly) won the Intertubes!

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  15. And in what I hope is presstitutes stirring (dookie), China apparently has a big outbreak of a (wait for it) strange respiratory illness. This one hits (wait for it) children.

    Did I wake up in one of those idiot-writing Star Trek “stuck in time loop” episode?

    Chicom Originated Viral Infectious Disease 2023. Draconian responses to follow. Election shenanigans to follow. Follow your leader-goats to the boxcar.

    Just no.

    No. Not happening. Try again (voids surrounded by sphincters).

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    1. First reported by the Epoch Times, which isn’t exactly China-friendly. Now I gather the story has hit the Daily Mail and from there is heading for the talk show circuit.
      We’ll see. I found myself wondering what Xi’s entourage might have brought with them to leave in San Francisco.

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      1. I’m not given to conspiracy theories, but China could really, really use another suicide of the west right now. I haven’t touched on it in a while, but the Chinese collapse continues to steadily accelerate. The real estate collapse is spreading into the state run “companies” and bond holders of a state run property lender have been forced to accept the first principal loss, I think ever. Things are bad there and getting worse.

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        1. We did have that Chinese biolab that was discovered by accident by a building inspector here in California. The CDC has reportedly gone very quiet about anything and everything that was found there. Considering what the labels on most of the stuff were… that’s not a good way to keep people calm.

          As for China… I think Suicide of the West would be even worse for China. Given what I’m hearing right now about the current state of China, it wouldn’t surprise me terribly if China is going to need the West just to maintain life support. And I don’t mean CCP life support. I mean “life support to keep hundreds of millions of Chinese from dying”.

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  16. I am so glad that Circe and Toast 2.0 are working out so well … and the others of the Second Batch! They have grown so much in just the two weeks that we loaded them up for you.
    It looks like Toast 2.0 will be a long-haired cat, like their older brother Prince Fluff the Magnificent.
    They were so lively in their last week and a half with us … when I opened my bedroom door in the morning, they all came rushing in, like second-graders released to the playground after a dull morning in the classroom…

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  17. By coincidence, today is our wedding anniversary. 37 and counting.
    On the one hand, it hurts a little to realize how many of the guests have left us. Our best man, the matron of honor (and best friend outside of my beloved), my parents, my brother and I strongly suspect the coworker who catered for us – a rotund, cheerful New Jerseyan who was a better friend than I realized at the time.
    OTOH, remembering being in the Sunday School class/changing room after the wedding, where my bridesmaids were giving me last-minute sex ed (no profanity, and PG-rated as I recall). My beloved came looking for me and the scrappiest of the bridesmaids announced, “We’ve been telling her what to expect!”
    God knows why, but my mouth opened and what came out was, “Get away from me, you animal!”
    He stared at me. I stared at him. And then we started to laugh. And laugh, and laugh, while the bridesmaids let themselves out (the scrappy one grinning like a maniac). Every time we’d run out of wind we’d look at each other and off we’d go again. Eventually, we just ran down and gathered our stuff to take on the honeymoon.
    There are worse ways to start a marriage.

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  18. Yes. I teach for love (but they have to pay me to grade) and write for love. Politics? My characters probably have them, and my blue-collar fantasy characters have a rather jaundiced view of nobles who don’t do their duty (or who get in the way of people trying to work.) I’d rather entertain than preach. I’m not a lay-minister.

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  19. I love your blog posts. Keep ‘em coming. We’re only at 1300’ let me know if you need a refuge from winter. We helped our depression with a rescue doggie last week. Sister is a real cutie and cuddler, but she can reach counter top for fresh cinnamon rolls…

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  20. I generally avoid “Black Friday” shopping. If I want consumption combatives experience points, I go to a grocery store with a hurricane approaching and buy snacks.

    There is some chatter that Jihadiots/Fools-from-Aunti/EnviroWeenies/RiotousF###heads may attempt to “stop capitalism” on Friday to “raise awareness”/”annoy the normies”/”get laid by freakchicks”.

    I am just imagining a line of chained-together signage bedecked idiots blocking the doors to Wal-Mart, then screaming in abject horror as the workers slowly and deliberately unlock that first door, while loudly shouting “90 percent off? Fix that quick!”

    Heh.

    Giggle.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….gasp…. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    oh the humanity…..

    Giggle.

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    3. I’m thinking of Philene’s Basement, notorious for Black Friday strumming.
      BTW, Target is doubling down on LGBTQIA -whatever, with a new hire who was quoted as saying , “Let’s burn it all down, darlings.” As in, “Let’s get those normies upset, it’ll be fun.”
      Another reason to stay out of Target.

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      1. Dorothy- in one of those karmic twists, Target is closing more stores now due to their clientele robbing them blind- just watched a video of a flash mob running through a Target store with trash bags full of looted items, and it isn’t even black Friday yet, so to speak. So as Dr. Sigmund Schadenfreude might say, “Redewendung für “… although his German was rusty

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  22. Please do not separate the babies! They need each other, and you can never have too many cats. I have nine, and two big dogs, and ma in my 70s. My god daughter will care for whoever is left after I am gone. But I think ( maybe just me ) that cats can have a mystical healing aura that helps the humans. When I have a terribly bad day I I have had heart and lung issues and some days…) I lay down in the bed and the two big dogs are on the bed with me, and two or more cats climb onto my legs and stomach, and I swear that makes much of the struggle melt away. Good luck, and praying as always for your health,

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  23. ONE MORE THING if I may interject to all good people- not to make you paranoid but after the terrorist car bomb attack today- and the car never reached the destination because it was already being watched by border authorities, so they detonated it on the bridge – PLEASE in the midst of your travels or festivities now through the weekend, STAY ALERT; be armed, practice situational awareness and avoid any place that feels “not right”. God bless and keep you all.

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  24. Which, yes, will hurt, but then again, perhaps be best for all of us in the long run? I mean, we’re sixty one, and five cats are a lot,

    It is best to follow the hands rule: a household can have no more cats than it normally has hands. This prevents someone having to wait for pets.

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  25. “… it’s like introvert versus extrovert.”

    Cats aren’t my faves, but that phrase ring one big-ass bell. My wife and I both can be fairly described as people with a very low need for affiliation. And yet we both had successful careers as mid-level managers (and me a popular teacher!) and now have become influential community leaders. Who enjoy quiet evenings and weekends with only each other for company. Intro/extro out the yin-yang. Go figure.

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