The Antidote for the End of the World as We Know It By Cedar Sanderson

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

The Antidote for the End of the World as We Know It
By Cedar Sanderson

Without hope, the human race perishes.

The first time I wrote that, I followed it with a bit of mental shorthand and got a raised eyebrow, which made me realize what I’d done. So it’s not ‘Without hope, the human race ceases to exist, because who has children without hope?’ as that’s an easy fallacy. Bad Cedar, no cookie.

It’s all too easy to have a child without hope. Although I suppose you could argue that even the very act of procreation is itself a statement of hope, if no more than hope of fleeting pleasure. And in the United States it is far too easy to eliminate a child if you despair. However, the eyebrow made me backtrack to unpack what I was thinking.

Without hope, you cannot raise a decent human being. Without hope, the child is feral, almost animal, and the human race cannot exist if we all devolve into animals. Which is not to say that I think this is our ultimate fate as humans, at all. Like our kind hostess, I am a peddler of hope.

We must have hope, or why live at all, much less bring the next generation into the world? We already see the product of despair and nihilism in the coming population collapse. Too many people have internalized the hopelessness they were taught, and choose not to have children. There is hope, but you can’t force it onto someone. It’s not as easy as walking into a dark room and opening the curtains wide to let the sunshine in. They have to draw the blinds of their own souls up and see what the world holds for them, with flowers and rain and all the wonders of the universe. Limitless hope, if only they will open their eyes and see it in front of them.

I, personally, am hopeful for the next generation. Not only because I am a mother, but because I know mothers who are expecting, and at least two of those are lovely young women who joyfully lean into motherhood. With two such, and their supportive husbands at their sides, gazing starry-eyed into the future? Humanity has a chance. I shall do my small supports where I can, with a little gift for babies, but more, if I’m close enough, the tangible supports of a meal, an offer to sit so the parents can get out to refresh their enthusiasm for one another. I’m past having children (and glad of it, four lovely humans are enough for me) but I can make sure the next generation is given hope enough that they can carry on past when I’m no longer around to talk about why hope is so essential.

This is something you can do, you know. On the internet, it’s much less of a tangible ‘here’s a casserole, and paper plates so you don’t have to wash up, and the casserole is in a disposable pan so you can just rest and not have any care while you fuel your body’ and more of an intangible but nonetheless important role of encouragement. You’re doing the right thing, young Mama, or you, new and terrified Papa. I know you feel like you’re doing it all wrong and where the heck are the adults, but I know you’re doing just what you need to do. You’re loving your children. You’re loving each other. The specifics? Not so important. Remotely, a support system to listen when you need a place to blow up, or cry, or ask very specific questions about life (why is the baby’s poo green?!) can help. In person, that’s even better. So here’s what I’ll challenge you with – because I know and love the comment section here – start making friends in real life, not just here on the ‘net.

Making friends is very hard. I know this. Oh, how I know this. Like most of you, I was an Odd and I was raised Oddly. A military brat, homeschooled, moving every few years (more often, at some times, as I had 19 addresses by the time I was 18) all over the North American continent, it’s a miracle I ever learned to make friends at all. In a way, I didn’t. I had to move a thousand miles two years ago so I would have IRL support. It was worth it, even if it took all our savings and dipped us into the red. I’m not saying that’s what you have to do – some of you cannot do that. What you have to do is to get out of your bubble. You might be scoffing that you live in an area where there’s no one else like you. Possible, but unlikely. Far more likely you live in an area where it’s a full-blown quest to find them. First thing? Let it be known in your ‘net groups that you want to plan a get-together. Find a location. No budget? Find a park. Set a time. And then… show up. You have hope, that others will come too. Don’t know what to do once you do show up? Well, you might try sitting and writing. Introverts, gather and ignore one another! Even so, there’s power in being in the same space.

It’s going to feel weird. That’s ok. You lovely weirdos, embrace the power of mutual strangeness. Remember – you’re on a quest and the treasure you seek is hope. Gaining friends along the way is the way to generate that hope. Mission: Mutual Support.

The next hardest thing? Do it again. Reach out, pull someone else into your little band of quirks and peculiarities. Play a game together at a table, and laugh. Have fun. The point of this is to find people who spark joy in you. If they don’t spark joy? Then don’t have them in your life, or if you must (blood family…) then keep them on the other side of sharp boundaries. Rediscover play, find people you can debate with, who sharpen your mind, steel on steel, even if it’s only with a raised eyebrow emoji.

Then, you’ll know you are contributing to the longevity of the human race, restoring a sense of wonder to the universe, and that… that’s fulfillment, right there. Be present with your friends, online and offline. Be an encouragement. That’s how to help someone open up their soul to hope again. Children are born hopeful, from the first breath they draw in, so disappointing they wail in protest. And yet, they take another and another, and then there is warmth and sweet milk and hope blooms. And in those children, there is the hope for humans, that we endure.

54 thoughts on “The Antidote for the End of the World as We Know It By Cedar Sanderson”

  1. “It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.” [Crazy Grin]

    [Yes, I had to say the above.]

    But yes, Hope is precocious and some of us fight despair with Crazy Jokes. :grin:

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So true…it’s a mad world out there, but we must ‘endeavor to persevere’. It is hard to be hopeful sometimes, but then I see my grandchildren and I’m hopeful again.

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  3. There’s personal despair, and there’s intellectual despair. I define the latter as the despair of people who do things like claim that it’s horribly wrong to bring kids into a world that’s suffering from man-made climate change. Given how massively screwed up the world has pretty much always been in comparison with today, I have little patience with people who advance that sort of view.

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  4. If not our son (has to go looking first, has to find someone second, sigh), our nieces and nephews. Great nieces/nephews: 5 and counting – one due anytime, my side. 6 known on hubby’s side and two of those are 20+ so could be adding the great-great anytime. This isn’t counting son’s friends who are creating the next generation.

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  5. The future belongs to those who show up. I’m hopeful that those who show up are the children/grandchildren we are nurturing now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s try our best to be role models for them. They have a hard road ahead of them. Anything we can do to ease the burden, we must do.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Flewup to Syracuse over the weekend, GF’s family was celebrating a wedding down by the Pennsylvania line.

    LOTR themed wedding, lots of Elvish ears, wooden and steel weapons on belts.

    The kids are all right!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Little dog just wanted to “go out” for her personal affairs – we went out and did what was required and were just sniffing the grass and neighbor lady walking with stroller (new son about 8-9 months old) yelled to us: ‘Come see us, we want to see the puppy!’ Our little Boo (her real name) is great with little kids doing the whole wag the tail and lick the fingers and really likes the pets and attention. Mom thanked us for the interaction and we thanked her too. Yup, there is hope and for me it’s right next door.

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  10. I have been a crappy example/evangelist/marketeer for what I claim to believe; but I have survived a lot and spent the last 65 years “failing up”, so I cannot but be full of hope.

    I have infected some of my coworkers with bad jokes, good attitudes, and a desire to make the world a little better for those who inherit it from us, even if they’re not of us.

    So maybe all is not lost.

    The center can hold, if we wish it so.

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  11. My circle of friends is far smaller than it used to be, but such is bound to happen when one looks back at over 29,200 days, looks back at over 80 years.

    Parenthetical aside; (I had to duck duck go IRL support. Dang young whippersnappers and their in the group languages & slang. Why can’t they…, when I was a boy…, gratuitous grumble…, sniff snort and mumble, etc., etc.! -grin-)

    Yep, appreciate your friends and family, that’s the real treasure. & another yep, gather such treasure whenever, wherever, however you can!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Just got back home after a family reunion. 31 of us: 13 folks over 40 and done with having kids, plus 18 kids ranging from age 5 to 25. Some of the older nieces and nephews were missing, which was a bit disappointing (I would’ve loved to hang out with them), but having conflicts due to work and school is also a good thing, because it means they’re building adult lives. And this reunion, my oldest nephew brought his cute wife and their adorable little baby — it’s our first three-generation reunion. Reason to hope.

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  13. There certainly IS reason for hope. Joe Biden informed us today the he has cured cancer! Yay! My oncologist will be thrilled, I’m sure.

    I haven’t felt this hopeful since the seas started to recede and the earth began to heal when The Light Bringer was in office.

    No wonder 81 million voted for him. I bet he gets a cool 100 million after this medical breakthrough!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I accidentally called that shuffling horror “president” the other day. I guess there’s a first time for everything, but I promise it’ll also be the last.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Most of the nation’s oncologosts will be less than pleased. Way more money in ‘treating’ cancer, rather than simply curing it . . .

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cancer isn’t one thing, and they’ll never lack for work, anyway. they are all for better methods of curing it, because then they can fit in more patients.

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  14. @ Cedar > “(why is the baby’s poo green?!)”

    In our case, it was day-glo orange and pink.
    The pediatrician just laughed at us.
    And that’s how I found out what happens when a toddler swallows the entire bottle of Flintstones vitamins (without iron; had they been ferrous, Doc would have been worried).

    Liked by 1 person

    2. A friend of ours fed our toddler grapes at Pennsic, so he could watch our reaction to diapers full of empty grape skins.
      Then the kid climbed out of his crib, toddled across the camp and into his tent, calling, “Gapes, Cwon! Gapes!” It was quite early morning. And quite entertaining.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. No matter the nonexistent water heaters or generators or soon the toaster and kettle, I have these amazing young people –my sons– that dh and I have somehow managed to raise. I really don’t know how much credit we can possibly take for them. I’m in awe of them. I see them, and I know I’ve already made the world a better place because they’re in it.

    Just today, channeling this post (which he did not read) my husband said “I don’t care where they go or if they go to college. I don’t care about career prestige. I want them to go somewhere so they find the right someone, so they find someone to love and make babies with. No putting it off (like we did.) That’s how we make the world better. More babies.”

    And if we’re too old for more babies, then helping our kids and the young around us to have the means, resources, and support to trust they can make babies now and it will be okay.

    (Yes, I do want to take some credit for them, but really God did it in spite of us. Blessings without number, mercies without end. I cannot thank the Lord enough.)

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  17. The church we attend is one of the reasons we moved here. It’s full of young families that probably average five kids each. The hopefulness is palpable.

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  18. “For the end of the world was long ago
    And all we dwell today
    As children of some second birth
    Like a strange creature left on earth
    After a judgement day.” —GKC

    Liked by 1 person

  19. “First thing? Let it be known in your ‘net groups that you want to plan a get-together. Find a location. No budget? Find a park. Set a time. And then… show up. You have hope, that others will come too.”

    My wife and I tried this trick some 18 years ago to gen’ up a neighborhood group dedicated to a new park here in San Antonio. About a dozen people showed up, enthusiastic as all get-out, and we kinda-sorta got organized with regular monthly meetings. We’re still hard at it today, with lots of park improvements and activities to our credit, still meeting every month in the “new” library at the park, the one that got us organizing in the first place.

    Hint for YOUR first meet-up: bring a cooler with some water and sodas, maybe a few snacks.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. When I was in Texas, I’d participate in “Ride To Eat” events. The Forum for fans and riders of Honda STs has a page dedicated to these events. Someone posts “This Date, This Place” and whomever could make it showed for food chat and often group rides. Llano, Kerrville, Dublin, St Jo, Bridgeport, etc. BBQ mostly for the Texas (OK and AR ones usually too) though Winchester Steakhouse (and post office) The Rusty Nail when it was running (think WuFlu killed them) Whatever Backwoods in Dublin used to be before, were also popular. Now I’m too far away from most of them, and the WI crowd did Sundays when I was often too busy on Sunday to participate. and the last few RTEs in WI I’ve not been able to get to (bike needing work, weather so bad even I begged off).
    My personal record is a 570 mile ride to and from lunch, though I was riding around a nasty storm, so the route home was very convoluted.
    “We’re following you, J.P.”
    “Well, I’ll try to keep in under 100(mph)” and I did, though just, I hit 99 passing some folks south of Crawford so the rest could make the pass with less speed needed.

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      1. I’m sure the prosecution will be “zealous”; after all, double jeopardy is even better than a plea bargain as a shield.

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      2. I’m sorry that I find this so amusing it’s actually sad and tragic for the country but the Biden’s are managing to out white trash the Clinton’s. This is Florida Man territory

        They really are stupid. All of them. Or just brazen. Probably both

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Old Joe was dumb as rocks before he got dementia. There’s something seriously wrong with our political/election system were such an egregious incompetent can keep getting reelected time after time and even into the Presidency.

            Liked by 1 person

        2. I’m sorry that I find this so amusing it’s actually sad and tragic for the countr
          …………………

          I am not sorry. It is tragic for the country. I am afraid it is the only way to wake up those just left of the middle and those who go along to get along and have their heads buried in the sand and up their tushes they’ll never see daylight unless the clue by four this cluster is hits them on the tush (because that is where their head is). Yes, the Biden’s are outdoing the Clinton’s and Obama’s combined, Bidon’s mentors (Clinton’s & Obama’s) should be so proud. Also watching the Pelosi, and the usual suspects, double down, is priceless. They are bound and determined to go down with the sinking Biden ship.

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  23. In the mortal words of Tim Allen in that cheesy but good movie, ‘Never give up, Never surrender’, My second favorite line was by Tony Scalhuob, ‘I’ll get a couple of my guys up here and give it a shot of WD-40, should take care of it’… Or by Alan Rickman, ‘I see your lost your shirt again’.. The point being, there is always Hope, Faith, and Charity, my kind of threesome.

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  24. What’s the phrase? “Hope is the evidence of things not seen”? Or maybe that’s faith. Obviously I haven’t read the relevant passage in way too long.

    It’s not hard to have hope when you see things getting done – when you can see how to get things done.
    It’s harder when just looking at the mountain of things to do sucks all the energy out of you – especially when there’s no way to do them or you can’t see where to start.

    Who knows, maybe making a to-do list would help…. If one could find anything to write on. Or with.

    “Start anywhere” is a lot easier to say than to do, even if it’s the only thing that will work.

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  25. It’s interesting how much hope, true hope (not that fake kind that begins “I hope X doesn’t happen, I don’t know what I might do then…” and runs downhill from there), really is a sort of secret sauce or X Factor that makes all the other vital necessities (once they’re in place) go where they’re supposed to go, do what they’re supposed to do, after all.

    Run the “thought experiment” (as they used to say when relativity and quantum mechanics were new and strange things) yourself… imagine a group of pioneers, interstellar colonists, asteroid miners, faithful outcasts in a little ship called the “Mayflower” — first with and then without hope. All the other “necessary things” being equally present in both cases.

    Hope is a virtue, a gift, a cultural treasure, a blessing, an heirloom, a learnable and teachable, practical and practiceable skill — because hope is a catalyst that helps things happen, even when otherwise it’d be all but impossible to go on, or to want to — go on, to actually reach what is (if maybe just barely) truly and genuinely within reach.

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  26. And probably because I haven’t finished this week’s vignette (or last week’s either), the title picture turns out to be rather inspiring… so imagine this the blurb or beginning for a story:

    This is the story of how we grew up.

    Not only me and my brothers and my sister, though that’s a big part of it if I do say so; but also how we, on a new world as a people, did.

    Before and after I was born; from the dirt to the stars, and then again.

    Maybe we had to find a new world, here so far away among the lonely stars, to escape and grow beyond all the things and thoughts of the past. Perhaps only here, literal light-years (and light-decades) away from Old Earth and Old China — all their sticky, millennial residue of empire and emperors, commissars and communism, collectivism and peasant-minded ways — could we have (finally!) transcended our eternal teenagerhood and… grown up.

    I can only tell you here we landed, and here at last we came of age.

    On this world, that long before our society had grown up from her new and man-made soil, had been called by the fittest name (as seen in always-perfect hindsight) anyone could ever have chosen.

    For this is the story, too, of our new home and foster-mother — Kwan Yin.

    (It’s very doubtful I know enough about Chinese history and culture to even begin to write such a thing, doubtful if I ever will know enough. But I can still peek around the corner a bit, and imagine what happens if and when the same impulses and opportunities that were set loose in Hong Kong — Old Hong Kong, now? — manifest over a lot longer and a far bigger scale. Something I’d love to see…)

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  27. Just got my liver test results. Apparently you folks will have to put up with me a while longer.

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