The Writer Is Lazy

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

There might be more Grant this weekend.  Then again there might not.

The good news is that I’m better, and Greebo is ALMOST as good as new.  The bad news (or probably part of the good news) is that I just feel like sleeping a lot, and I get this sense it’s part of the healing, so maybe I should?

Also, we probably should either decorate or put a sign upfront saying our religion doesn’t celebrate Christmas, before the neighbors get pissed.  In that case, I’d need an sfnal religion, so they can’t check, and I don’t feel like making one up.

Of course, yes, this is a disadvantage of living in the suburbs.  It is what it is.

I have other stuff I need to do, including trying out some software, but I thought I’d just chill and maybe nap.

I’m sorry about being a lazy blogger, but sometimes this stuff hits.

103 thoughts on “The Writer Is Lazy”

  3. Sleep is a wonderful, amazing thing to have, when you need it. Sleep well, wake rested and refreshed and healthful. Take care of you and yours- but first, sleep! *grin*

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  4. What’s the religion in Foglio’s Buck Godot, Zap Gun for Hire, where they celebrate a different creed every day?

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  6. Sarah, YOU are not a lazy blogger. Best intentions in the world, I have started three blogs, and been overwhelmed by life each time. I am a lazy blogger.

    You don’t get to call yourself ‘lazy’ until it’s been at least a week since your last substantive post.

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    1. Unless you are in the hospital again. Which you will be, young lady, if you don’t listen to your body when it is telling you to sleep.

      /parentmodeoff

      I just slept for essentially two days here – and I’m back on the task list some today (#metoolazyblogger). Sleeping now will just make you more productive in the long run.

      The lights here were supposed to go up tomorrow, and now will wait a couple of days while I catch up with the yard cleanup that was scheduled for those two days. Unless I decide to just tack the colander onto the mailbox.

      Take care of yourself. Grant will wait (not patiently, mind you, but he will wait). Lights will wait. Pissed off neighbors can go hang…

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  9. May I suggest the Church of the Holy Event Horizon? That spot where all of Time coexists may not be Eternity, and there’s a little gamma problem, but it’s as close as the likes of us are gonna get.

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  12. What was Dr. Franklin’s religion in Babylon 5? I can’t remember what it was called right now.

    Tell the editor-in-tuna that we’re all glad to hear about his improved health. Oh, and yours as well : – )

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    2. Foundationist. I got the impression that it was somewhere between Unitarian and the Via Stellarum from Hammer’s Slammers.

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    1. Reminds me of an old Mad Magazine cartoon. Family in a car driving past three houses. First house is all decked out in lights and Santa and such. Third house is similarly decked out. The second house, in the middle, has a simple manger scene out front. That’s it.

      Father in car goes “I guess they’re not religious.”

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  14. Observe Greebo of Baen: I am certain that napping is a major element of his non-editorial duties, so if you emulate Greebo in this in order to get back to production steam pressure, Toni should be well pleased.

    And besides, it’s weekend. Yeesh.

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      2. *Tries to imagine menorah as tacky as some of the lights around town. Remembers THAT one in the catalogue a few years ago. Starts looking for Sarah’s address* Inflatable yard menorah. ‘Nough said.

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        1. Emily: Robert has one. We’d just have to take it from him and put it on the picture window ;)
          TXRed, in our former “majority Jewish” neighborhood, the local grocery story carried Manny’s Magic menorahs. Electrical menorahs with chili peppers for lights.

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  17. Tell them you’re Orthodox. Either they’ll interpret that as Jewish and won’t bother you, or they’ll interpret it as Christian and you can say you’re just waiting for the post-25th sales on decorations so you can put yours up for Jan. 7.

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    2. Since my son was born close to (but not yet) Christmas, and we’re liturgical, we have practiced the “12 days” for 20+ years now. My lights go up just before Christmas and stay up through the 6th.

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  18. We lived in the same house in a suburban neighborhood for … um … carry the three … 36 years, and never put up Christmas decorations. We celebrated Christmas at home, and with the extended family at various ends of the state, but not by putting up lights and stuff outside.

    If anyone was annoyed, they never said, or else we didn’t hear about it.

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    1. Ditto. We’ve lived in the suburbs all our lives and never had anyone question decorating/not decorating. Is someone pestering you, how odd … I would tell any nosy parkers “we’ve had a lot of illness in the family this year” and let them squirm … lol

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  19. Pastaferian. Get the boys to drag all your hoses out into the front yard in a big tangle.

    The neighbors will thank their own deities that you _don’t_ decorate next year.

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    1. When I was wee, we left town for Christmas with out-of-state relatives and came back to find that our right-in-the-damn-state relatives had taken advantage to decorate our yard and house in Early American Oh My God. Pink flamingos in the yard (with wreaths around their necks), “bells” made out of halved milk jugs with Christmas balls hung in the middle, liberally applied tinsel garland, and as the crowning touch, silk poinsettias ensconced in a white-painted spray tire.

      Not being ones to take this lying down, we cleaned it up quietly (being six, I was very sad to see the flamingos go), stashed it all out of sight, and let said relatives stew till mid-November of the next year, at which point we spent three weeks plotting and teamed up to hit the preacher when HE left town.

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        1. IIRC, there were disposable pie plates with paper doilies pasted on ’em hanging from the trees. I haven’t seen the other kind.

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          1. For this experiment, you need a wooden frame. Rough 1x4s will do, as nothing looks quite a tacky. Next, you make a triangle shape with a piece up the middle and, presumably, a sharpened stake to jab into the ground. To this you mount the pie plates. You mount the sockets to the center of each plate, running the wire out the back. To each socket you screw in a different colored large Christmas light bulb. Mount in your yard, plug in, and enjoy. Not quite in the same league as the ubiquitous painted tire, but it’s close.

            Obviously, mounting electric lights through metal can present safety issues. Sharp edges and electric wires don’t mix. Even though it goes well with Santa flamingos, it’s not a “Hold my beer” project. I can think of some ways it can be done safely, but have no idea if the ones I saw followed that.

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    2. Know where there’s one of those wire-framed Christmas light reindeer hug by its hind legs from a tree limb and a red string of lights running from the neck to the ground.

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    3. Can’t believe I almost forgot this. A local grocer had deer heads mounted on one wall, over the meat and produce section. At Christmas they used to put Santa hats on them. The ninth and last always got a red ribbon on the nose, too.

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  20. Sleep, it’s definitely part of healing. Hope you feel better.

    And only put up the decorations if you, personally, will feel bad if you don’t, if that makes sense. And even then, wait until you’ll enjoy it. If not, I saw a fun picture of two houses, one lavishly decorated, and the other with nothing but a sign that said Ditto, with an arrow pointing next door.

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  23. I don’t think you should care what the neighbours think about decorations. Life is too short to cater to the whims of the Jones and Grundys.

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  24. If you don’t decorate at all, then you are providing the service of having the house that everyone else can compare against and feel better about their own! :-)

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    1. Growing up, I don’t recall us doing any outdoor decorations until we moved back to (Mumble, ST). At which point, a local appliance store sold light-up Santas as a promotion.

      Last house in the People’s Republic of California, we put up some lights. We were in a fairly Orthodox* neighborhood, so it stood out. The real light show was a half mile away, where the residents competed on who had the highest power bill for December. :)

      (*) Menorah, not Julian Calendar.

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  25. You could always just put up one of those cheap laser scattershot blaster thingees that project holiday-cheer-colored spots roving all across the outside of your house as a one-install decoration. Well, if your local airport traffic pattern isn’t inappropriately situated vs. which way the blaster thingee is blasting – Lasing the local pilot population is not cool.

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    1. One of the neighbors has a lovely redwood in front and they point the laser up into it (thick enough that every point gets stopped.) It looks like tiny little lights all over the tree.

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  26. Jedi religion probably wouldn’t count, because of the Star Wars Christmas special.

    The Psi-Wars dude is doing a bunch of fictional religions for that setting worked example. Cult of the Mystic Tyrant isn’t a great fit for you, but…

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    1. I am a big supporter of an old-fashioned celebration of Saturnalia. The wonderful thing about that is nobody can claim you’re doing it wrong.

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  27. Something easy to do, maybe. Get a box. Open it up and break it so it is just a flat piece of cardboard all the way across. Make an outline of Jerusalem/Bethlehem skyline. Cut it out. Tape to your front window and then put some Christmas lights behind it to back light it and make it glow, especially when the blinds are down. All done.

    My mom made us one six years ago and we love putting it up. I’d post a picture if I could figure out how.

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    1. Trump in a MAGA Santa handing coal to all the little fake news children?

      Would go with insisting that one’s religious preference was Trumptrain.

      It may be possible to find some Trump election signs and put them up.

      Grins, Ducks, and Runs Away.

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  28. did you use the tip i sent to get greebo some feel better tuna? I wanted to send a note with it but there was no option.

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  29. My neighborhood street is a major decorator; out of 18 houses, we typically have 15 of them decorated. (One house is owned by two retirees who are physically incapacitated, even; the neighbors put up the lights.) And two of the houses that don’t decorate are on the end of the street, so you don’t see until you turn down. But it doesn’t bother me, because it’s their houses and their choice. And anyone who picks on you is out of line.

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    1. “anyone who picks on you is out of line”

      That’s the Christmas Spirit! Celebrate the holiday the way our Puritan ancestors did: ignore it altogether as a Papist ritual.

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  30. Put up a sign saying you’re all Scientologists. The neighbors will flee, and you can sleep in peace.

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    2. This… is tempting, but I think we’ll go with the ‘can’t be arsed to put up the lights, too bloody hot.’

      (As an aside, the roast chicken place near us, that’s run by Muslims, put up Merry Christmas window decorations, in English and French, which makes me smile.)

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  33. One the best minimalist bits of Christmas decoration I’ve seen a photo of was a single string of lights, partly up… and partly in the big sack of Grinch-Santa.

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  34. I’d suggest taking a walk outdoors, but I seem to recall that there’s an excessive amount of white stuff on the ground in Colorado atm.
    Taking a nap sounds like a good idea though.

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      1. I have a cousin who once got invited on a hunting trip in Colorado. They stayed at this cabin sans plumbing, Well, our grandparents has a little shack out back at that time, too, so it wasn’t a novelty. The snow was, but whatever. Through the snow he went. Wasn’t long before he heard someone walking around. Figured they were pulling a prank, and he wasn’t in the mood. He yelled something at them a time or two. Then there was scratching on the outhouse. That ticked him off, and he pounded on the walls and yelled at them to go on. No more scratching, and he finished in peace, but he was still angry.

        Back in the cabin he confronted his buddies about it, and they all denied responsibility. So here they all go back to the little shack out back for a closer inspection.

        There were bear tracks around it. Great big bear tracks.

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  35. In that case, I’d need an sfnal religion, so they can’t check, and I don’t feel like making one up

    Fosterites? Or would you prefer the Church of All Worlds?

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      1. Perhaps a stupendous rack* laden with Jehovah’s Witness tracts and a sign saying “Please Take One”?

        I briefly considered an inflatable snowman and outside sound system blaring “Frosty the Snowman” (every possible version) 24/7 (or eve just dusk to midnight) but decided I cannot advocate self-harm. Perhaps directional speakers would protect the house interior from the din?

        *I gather you already have one, so might as well put it to use, right?

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      2. Old bookshelf as yard decor?

        Be awesome if you threw a few paperbacks on it and people used it as a book swap.

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  36. My wife and I are fairly conservative Christians, and haven’t done the lights and decorations thing. We normally don’t put the tree up until a week or so before Christmas–and don’t take it down until sometime in Epiphany. We do do luminarias on Christmas Eve, but that’s it for outside decorations.
    No neighbor has ever said anything.

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    2. We’re religious and politically conservative Christians. My family always put up decorations two weeks before and took them down before January 1. Hers put them up earlier, and took them down before New Year’s as well. My family’s outside decoration consisted of a wreath on the door. Hers would put light on the shrubbery and a wreath on the door. We put up more outside decorations than they did, but takes us half to three quarters of an hour. She and the kids deck out the inside more than either of our families did. Me? I hold to “What goes up must come down,” and prefer to be minimalist. If it wasn’t for the family, I wouldn’t do what few outside lights we have.

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  37. There’s a Buddhist “resource center” here (hey, small Arkansas town, we embrace the weird) that had Christmas lights. They leave them up all year. The guy who ran it said they were cheerful.

    Back in the early 1990s part of the building as a Thai restaurant. One day I went in and part of it had the tables moved to the side, and there were maybe forty robed monks sitting on the floor, passing around a cellphine. This was back when such things were rare and expensive. One of the monks would listen, relay something to the others, and they’d all roar with laughter, then the phone got passed to the next guy, and so forth. Back when by-the-minute charges were stiff, they racked up quite a bill; they were on the phone when I got there, and still talking when I left.

    Whatever was going on, they were certainly having fun.

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  39. We in the South long ago recognized the gross inefficiency of putting up and taking down holiday decorations. So we just put them up once and leave them there. Minimal work and no hassle.
    There is of course some dispute over when and if you plug the damned things in.
    As for indoors, when I bought this house back in 2002 I picked up a three foot artificial tree, set it up, and it has lived in the corner of the great room ever since. That does remind me, it’s time to dig out the leaf blower and dust the tree.

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    1. I do wonder if the oil workers – the Texan, Okies, Cajuns, Creole, and Assorted other citizens of Louisiana and Alabama that gave Alaskan accents the soft southern twang and left its cuisine with an enduring love of moose chili, Cajun-spiced halibut, and grits – were also responsible for the Alaskan approach of also leaving the lights up year-round, and merely checking and testing them before the nights get too dark and snow gets too deep.

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