It Turns Out There Is No Cake

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

I’m going to blame it on Amazon which threw some new and very interesting rubs in the way of my getting the book up, including, apparently, a glitch in loading the cover.

It is loaded into Amazon.

It will go up on various other venues over the week, and will be in paper within two weeks (I’m not promising more than that, since it’s a very long book which means the gutter set up for bringing it out in paper, is driving me nuts.  (Yes, yes, I need to get my mind out of the gutter. ah ah ah ah ah.)  And of course, I’m working on this against the background of trying to get Through Fire delivered.

Needless to say, I’d very much appreciate it if any of you who have a blog of face book account echo the buying link and this where people can read more. Particularly if you liked the book and can honestly say so.

I’m also almost done cleaning, which I didn’t finish yesterday because I was writing and then we had an engagement in the evening.  Normally I would now sit down and write you the chapter — but I’m afraid we have another engagement this evening.  (Regular social butterflies, we are.)

I shall send the revised version of the manuscript to the people that got the e-arcs.  Not much different, but it’s amazing how many typos can survive THREE separate editors.

At any rate, the thing is done and it’s up, and now it only remains for me to bite my nails and have this feeling like when you left home in a hurry to catch the bus and spend the entire ride convinced you left the door wide open, the oven on and all the faucets on in the bathroom.  (Well, sometimes it’s true.  I once came home from a play date to find water pouring out under the door of my mother’s kitchen.  The amazing thing is that they didn’t kill me.  The incident was afterwards referred to as “when we replaced the downstairs flooring.”)

I’m sort of hoping I didn’t do something disastrously wrong, and I’m going to hold my breath and hope it actually sells.

And I’ll give your chapter tomorrow.

BUT I’m very afraid the cake is still a lie.  or at least, while there’s a batch of cup cakes cooking on my counter, they haven’t yet invented a modem so I can send one of those to each of you…

You must endure it as best you can.

And yes, I’m still unbelievably nervous and worried, and it feels like I’m standing naked in church.  I didn’t realize how much COURAGE those of you who published  indie had.  I apologize if I ever told you to stop being a ninny and start putting your stuff out because you didn’t need a gatekeeper to tell you it was good enough.  I was right, yes, but I had no comprehension at all of how SCARY it all is.

Hold me.

 

99 thoughts on “It Turns Out There Is No Cake”

  2. *pat, pat, pat on back* It’s the formatting that gets me. As in, “What the—?!? How’d it manage to eat that section? And where are the links in the Table of Contents? I know I put them in . . .”

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    1. With me is that there’s an idiot approving the changes from the editor, and making new and more appalling mistakes. I’m sure some slipped through — runs in circles!

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        1. Alternatively, you can invest in some green army men to hunt the gremlins. Just make sure you hide them well, they are only effective from ambush.

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  3. “When did page numbers creep back in to the opening chapter pages? Oh, it was when I fixed the table of contents so it links? Arrrgh!”

    “Glossy or matte cover? Easy! Glossy! It’s pulp scifi! … Did I make the right choice? Will they hate it?”

    f5….. f5…. f5-f5…. f5-f5-f5-f5-f5-f5…

    Expect your also-boughts in 3 days. They’ll no doubt contain several very odd things. Perhaps even HVAC filters, tea candles, soap, and Bosnian war accounts…

    *hands you a bottle of port*
    *buys your book*

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              1. I have it on good authority that nothing in California is real, and most of it is revolting.

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                    1. Try some Washington wines– there’s a place that does Ice Wine that’s supposedly to die for.

                      It sounds poetic, but it means they let the grapes get frozen or frosted before harvesting and smashing, for those wondering.

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                    2. They do one of those over here in Idaho to, although I have to admit to not trying it, when I hear of an “Ice Wine” my first thought is of a Keystone Ice version of MD 20/20. ;)

                      I recall having a very good Skokomish Valley white quite a few years ago, probably the best non-Boones Farms commercial* wine I’ve had. But then I’m not a drinker any more and was never much of a wine drinker, so my taste in wines is probably suspect.

                      *The best and worst wines I’ve ever had were homemade, if you ever get the opportunity to try lavender wine… don’t.

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                    3. I think Elane Cunningham had it, either the Moon Elves or the High Elves brewed it– seem to remember it in her soul sword series.

                      I was disappointed to see it was kinda purply, not sparkled silver as in the book.

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                    4. All on the front of the palate, does that mean they have no aftertaste? Sorry not a wine snob, and unfamiliar with the vocabulary.

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                    6. Oregon is supposed to be the wonderful wine country, but they do mostly Pinots and other sour wines. There was a winery that made Muskat wines and there were a couple that did some sweet German grapes but I know one the owner died and the kids couldn’t keep it up, and the others there appears to be no demand.
                      I’m not a fan of the tart French wines.

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    2. Yes on the also-boughts. I just bought and if my searches are used, you are going to be … erm, puzzled …

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      1. “Disney Princess models, a survival radio, a Misto, beard groomer, the Animated Hobbit, computer parts, a guide to poisons and a Dinosaur Train computer game? Uuuh…. six year old serial killer?”

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  4. (Considers threat of holding breath until I turn blue to get cake — realize webcam is not set up — slinks off shamefaced)

    More importantly, welcome to the Resistance! Yes, yes, this *another* one. Some of us have rolodexes for all the resistanceaux (and code names, drop boxes, etc.) we belong to. After the first five or so it’s hard to keep them all straight.

    The first time *is* a little on the clumsy, frantic, and eager side. You don’t know where everything goes, or when. But you discover with a bit more practice there is a rhythm, and it feels so natural and in the end relaxing you find yourself lost in the moment, only aware of the incessant demand of the formatting, the drive to complete the ebook and then, in one glorious release, upload it.

    What? Why are you looking at me like that? You know it’s true…

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    5. And I thought shoes were weird. Now we’ve got an Indy Publishing Fetish? Next it’ll be a passion for the Blue Screen Of Death. Nerds! They need to get out more.

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      1. Have you read the stuff coming out of traditional these days? It’s enough to turn a starving coyotes stomach.

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  5. No worries Sarah. You’re gonna make thousands on this thing. It may take a little longer than normal because it’s not going to be in the form of an advance but you’re going to own this.

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  6. I could say something trite, like “I believe in you!” And you know? I do believe in you.

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  7. The amazon blurb has a typo. It reads “the king of Britannia appoints a witchfinder to rescue unfortunates with magical power from lands here magic is a capital crime.” The ‘here’ in ‘lands here’ probably ought to be ‘where’

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  8. Yep, it’s scary the first few times. It gets easier. And I’ll be buying a copy as soon as I get my replacement debit card. :-)

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  10. Hold you? Uh…I think your husband and my wife would both be jealous. And you’re about 10 years too old for me. And my arms aren’t nearly long enough to reach the Mountain Time Zone from here. :)

    But buy the book? Yes, I just did. Even though I already had the eARC for free. V and I will be telling our sorta-still-meatspace friends about it, too. And I can honestly say that the chance to introduce your books to more people is the primary reason I wish I had more meatspace friends than I do.

    Good luck. And remember that you are loved, chastely, by a great many.

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    1. Thank you. Well… I meant “Hold me” in the chastest possible way — kind of like I hold the cats when they’re panicking.
      Tell Vanessa I’m not ignoring her — I really am that busy. And I still think with a very little polish and a ton more self-confidence, she’ll write circles around me.

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        1. Oh, yeah. Sure. It’s easy.

          So long as you don’t specify injury free nor for how long.

          BTW: Is there any ethical and/or moral principle violated if those of us who have a) read WF by the chapter and/or b) received and read it as a subscriber (patron?) bonus go on Amazon and leave a review?

          How about if we use Mozilla FireEich as the browser to access the site?

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          1. I don’t see why there would be an issue — you won’t be a “verified purchaser” but pfui.

            I shall send revised versions tomorrow, btw. today I’ve been fighting create Space in the time after writing. Create Space won.

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  11. I’m a long way from publishing my first book (harder to find enough to write than I thought it would be) but I’ve already listened to Aaron Clarey’s “self publishing” video on Youtube twice plus saved it for later “remote” listening. Figure I may not actually be ready but I’ll have a completely false sense of confidence when I do. Best of luck with the new book. I love Darkthieves but this one doesn’t seem to be my style so I’ll have to wait for the next installment. Thanks for the books and the articles.

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  15. About those cupcakes — I have taken the liberty of uploading a sufficient numberof them for all Huns to enjoy. If your download of the cupcakes experiences any difficulties you may need to update your drivers or possibly invest in a faster modem. Tech Support is, as always, on call 24/7 at their usual unlisted number.

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      1. The IT department hereby presents you with a shiny new cupcake holder–the shiniest and newest on the market, pinky swear. And all you have to do to reboot it is shake it until the magic cupcake dust coats the screen again.

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  16. Yep. Bathwater and baby thrown from a high window. Don’t look, they’re like cats, always land on their feet. Pretend your nerves are joyful elan. You won’t fool anyone, but it might keep you from checking sales more than five times today.

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      2. I’ve decided not to look at my sales until the 15th. It’s too depressing. Everything stopped cold last week. I’m blaming tax season.

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          1. No. Until Witchfinder started pulling things up, I was having Summer of Death II. And considering we’re still having a blizzard a week I wasn’t happy. If it’s like with us, taxes are killing people this year.

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  17. You are way up there in the rankings! I will also be buying the physical book because your stuff goes on my real-life bookshelves. (Except for all the short stories in my kindle, of course.)

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        1. Those sell very well. the problem is they’re very old so they need A LOT of rewrite.
          I’m considering doing not quite a novel, but a coherent… Uh… did you ever read city by Simak? I’m thinking of doing that with the turmoils… one a week or so… then collect 80k words into a “novel”

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          2. I’ve been considering taking a set of Cat stories that are interconnected and reworking them into a novel, while putting up the stories I omit or just brush on as separate pieces.

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              1. Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive series uses interludes to great effect – important or interesting events that are too small or disconnected to make part of the main narrative.

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              2. Bujold stitched a bunch of short stories about Miles together very nicely. It seems to work.

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              3. I started the 6th Colplatschki novel (“Fountains of Mercy” is the working title at the moment) today. It wants to get written before I tackle the Blackbird’s story.
                I should be able to get a Cat novella up this week, unless a get a whole bunch of work hours, and then I’ll see about how to blend those Cat stories into a more cohesive whole. I need two decent covers, too. And of course this is when I get called in to work every day (not that I’m complaining at all.) And have rehearsal three nights and one morning this week. *shrug* It’s either drought or plenty. :)

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  18. OT, Sarah, how is your Logitech mic working with Dragon for you? I got one but am having troubles training Dragon (maybe I should be asking Paul, not you?) so was wondering if you had any tips?

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  19. Insty link! Yay Sarah.

    I’ll link to it on my mostly dead blog when the re-design is done.

    Now. deep breath. remember all the advice you’ve been pouring out about patience and the long game and slow-building momentum. pat pat pat. That’s me, petting two snoring dogs for you. Since the cats disdain me.

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  22. Read a bit at Amazon the Witchfinder, clicked on open the book for a peek as it were. Found it to my liking and clicked on ‘send to my Kindle.’ which I do probably far more often than is healthy. But, like Darkmore, I have this genetic albatross that requires me to read and must feed the bird.
    You must be working yourself half to death. But do keep it up.

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    1. Actually I’ve cut back on some of my deadlines, and I’m better than last year (when I tried to be sick the whole year — it was a bad idea) and I’m starting to write more. Which I like.

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