Back Is The Writer

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

Okay, guys, I’m just back and my brain is still on the plane, somewhere between Oregon and Colorado.  I tried but couldn’t write anything coherent.  (When do you write anything coherent, anyway? — ed. note  Shut up, you — writer’s note.)

I have SO much to do today it’s not even funny.  Would you believe that my kids didn’t clean while I was gone.  (Stop laughing, you — writer’s note.)  They have this peculiar male thing, where kitchen counters don’t exist, too.  They did dishes, mind, but the counters were never so much as wiped down.  Every male of my acquaintance has this problem, and I’m puzzled by it.  What is with you guys and counters?  Are you part of a counter resistance movement?

I also need to sit down and draw a schedule of my duties for various publishers and for myself, make appointments to figure out the legal structure of the imprint I’m starting, and … Oh, G-d.  (Moans)  Good thing I don’t need to sleep.  Of course I might go completely insane.  (Like anyone would notice — ed note.)

So, I’m going to get off the computer, take a shower, get off my robe (Yes, yes, this is being typed by a woman in a state of semi-dress.  DEAL.)  and into cleaning clothes.  And then I’m going to de-cat-hair the house, so I can stop sneezing and scour the counters, which are hopefully still there, and under the grease and the coffee stains.  Oh, yeah, doing the catboxes, too, which I bet no one has done.

Then I’m going to make massive pot of coffee and sit down to draw up a schedule.  I’m very afraid this will involve a white board.  Sigh.

Frankly, the biggest problem over the next year or so is the “retooling of the brain” and “learning to get out of my own way.”

Wish me luck.

19 thoughts on “Back Is The Writer”

      1. Oh it’s related to that bathtub thingy where you wash off motorcycle engines. Yes, I actually did that in High School, no my mother was not amused, but hey it was January what was I supposed to do? Hose it off? If the woman would just have bought me that solvent tank I asked for for Christmas it wouldn’t have been an issue, so it’s all her fault, really.

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      3. heh, you should have seen her after the carburetor incident… See I had this rack of motorcycle carburetors (sensing a pattern here?) and the light on my work bench was for crap, and they needed rebuilding. So I was doing that at the kitchen table.

        Mom failed to understand the logic of “better light” while I had four 32mm Keihens apart on her 100 year-old table. I put down newspaper, I still don’t know what the issue was…

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  5. I believe it is a visual perception thing. Studies (translation: an article I briefly glanced at years ago) show that as men age their eyes become increasingly near-sighted and incapable of discerning household schmutz. This is similar to the aging process by which men lose the upper ranges of hearing while women’s voices become increasingly higher-pitched.

    Call it evidence of evolution if you will.

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  6. Well, good luck.
    As for men and counters? I solved the problem, by keeping my wife’s kitchen in a state of perpetual renovation, so — no more counters —

    *duck and run while yet another pot is tossed at me….*
    Dan.

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  7. I guess I must be the only male on the planet that does wipe down the counter. I suppose that’s so crumbs won’t get on the food I set down on it.

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  9. What are you talking about. I wiped the counters down …yesterday… …last week…. …month… …sometime this year… …well I know I did it at least once since I moved here… :D

    Honestly my kitchen’s much closer to Mom Clean than Stereotypical Male Bachelor Slobitude (and far closer to the former than the mess the womany who rented the place before me was living in). It’s the self replicating masses of clutter everywhere else that are my main problem.

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      2. My clutters a lot more general in type with the biggest contributing factor being the combination of not wanting the hassle of moving to a larger appartment when I could afford the sort of house I want and simultaniously not wanting to give up the big wad of cash in the bank comfort blanket while the economy stinks and I’m only picking up tasking at work one or two months into the future. *sigh*

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    2. I will have you know that as a bachelor I do clean the kitchen counter; just not every day. But seriously, I always wipe it down before I set more food on it, I don’t like stale bread crumbs and cheese stuck to a roast that is not supposed to be breaded :)
      It is the kitchen stove that is my problem; I mean a clean it, just because I make coffee and fry sausage and eggs on it should still be clean, I mean everything was in a pan, nothing even touched the stove, how could get dirty ;)

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