I think I’ve quoted Eric Flint before on the subject of “if you’re not crazy when you become a writer you’ll be crazy within a few years.”
Of course, part of me views this as the inevitable consequence of living too close to your imagination. You sit there with the people in your head and concentrate on the imaginary world, the details of it, the texture, and how thins work. Those of us who are obsessed with making things plausible, research past any reasonable point. Even when I was a little girl, telling stories to myself, I spent type studying anatomy and biology and animal physiology (uh, my stories involved aliens, mkay? Often spider aliens) as a way to convince my listener – myself – that this was all possible. This evolved into the type of either insecurity or compulsiveness (you decide!) which made me read 40 books on Shakespeare before writing my first series.
[Does this mean everything in my books is infallible? No. When it comes to years, I have this curious form of weirdness that makes me think “the sixteenth century” is 1600+ No. I don’t mean I think that CONSCIOUSLY, I mean I write it that way and it will slip by if my copyeditor doesn’t catch it. In the same way, attempts at copyediting often confuse things I know perfectly well. I’m thinking here specifically of the copy editor to Plain Jane who spent a considerable amount of time “fact checking” me on the internet… When I’d used more reliable genealogies and a family history written by the present-day-descendant of the family.]
What it means, though, is that I spend a lot of time inside my head, with my worlds. This is deceptive, as – between that and my busy, busy social life on FB, AIM and email – I often don’t realize how little I see people outside my family. Eric, himself, in a con panel, said that was the problem – that writers lived too much by themselves. (And why he thought cons were necessary.)
Why is this important, you say?
Well, I never though of myself as introverted, much less a recluse. I was never one of the people who were student council leaders or anything of the sort, but I was one of the popular kids, at least in college, and I often spent my entire day in crowds of some sort. I tutored, I attended classes, I often had parties in the evening. I didn’t find crowds particularly draining.
So, I never thought of myself as an introvert.
Which is why I’m getting really worried at the fact that even going to a con for a couple of panels leaves me feeling half dead. And I’m getting REALLY tired of the stomach upsets at every con. Since they’ve also manifested before other stressful events, I think that’s all these are now, a sign of “I’m stressed.”
Let me just say that my body could have picked a more unlovely way to communicate this, but I’m at a loss to figure out what. Going to cons and preparing for cons is hard enough without feeling dizzy and nauseous all the time.
And no, it’s not my fans. You guys know I love you, right? I think that it’s simply the crowds, the disruption of routine and not being able to kick off my shoes and lean back. It’s knowing people are watching me, as well as listening to me. It’s made somewhat easier by having a room I can run away to, and somewhat worse by my not sleeping well or not sleeping enough.
It might be I have to start inoculating myself against this by doing something like booking dinner with a medium-large group of friends and acquaintances once a month or something. Or it might be I lock myself in my office and start sliding the manuscripts out under the door.
Yeah, I think I like that last one. What do you think?
According To Hoyt 
I’ve heard that “stress” can happen even when it’s something you enjoy. Basicly it’s from “doing something different”. Oh, I’ve found getting away the con hotel (or at least knowing I can) helps to a degree. [Smile]
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“Introvert” doesn’t mean you dislike people or don’t have live friends, it means you have to expend energy to be around them. And you expend the most when it’s strangers. Extroverts are the opposite–they gain energy being around other people, even when they dislike them.
I’ve met both kinds in the writing world.
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Well, since you asked… I guess this doesn’t qualify as unsolicited advice!
I hear you saying that
1) You would like to enjoy going to cons, and think they probably could serve a good function in providing non-virtual human contact outside your family, and
2) You think your body is trying to tell you something.
I’m thinking, from what I think I’ve picked up in other posts, that cons also provide contact with your peers (as well as fans), and you may see such contact – immersion in that community in a non-virtual way – as an important nutrient for your writing. Paul’s focus on good stress, what some call “eustress”, fits.
Before locking the door to your office, I’d like to see you try a few other things – at least partly because I hope to hear you speak or talk with you at a con some day! Maybe…
– Make it a little less disruptive? I’m travelling way more than ever before. I finally made myself a packing checklist, and it helped a lot. Obvious, I know, but organization doesn’t come naturally to me! Also, using TripIt.com to keep up with reservations, etc. has been good, especially since I can get to it from my smart phone. Maybe going a day early? I bet you’ve got some ideas.
– Practice this sort of disruption – your getting together with a group sounds good. What else?
– Mindfulness. Don’t know how you feel about this topic, but the data’s overwhelming – it helps physically, cognitively, and emotionally. Maybe three minutes before bed to start?
There are other hints for direction in what you’ve written. I’m just hoping you take your intuition – that there’s something to learn here, a way to grow and move forward – and do something with it. I suspect you’re right!
As always, thanks for writing!
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The introvert-extrovert thing can get complicated. I remember being an extreme outgoing extrovert when I was little; I was certainly an introvert by my teen years. H. P. Lovecraft was an extrovert in every way except…he didn’t leave his house much. He’d probably spend ten hours a day on AIM if he were alive now. People forget that during the period when he really fought his agoraphobia, he spent several years in New York, married to an attractive fashion entrepreneur, Sonia Greene.
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As a person who is a REAL introvert, and has been alone (no body around) pretty much ninety five percent of the time for decades at a time….
…………got me……I’m clueless.
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I should HOPE there are no bodies around there. Because if there were and you’d not called on your Baen friends to help hide them, we’d never talk to you again. (Runs at the awful joke she just made, and hopes Ev will eventually forgive her.)
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So, if Luke was a writer, the exchange would have gone like this:
Luke: “I’m not insane.”
Yoda: “You will be.”
;)
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yes. Come to the crazy side, Luke.
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I presume this was NOT an invitation for readers to proffer suggestions?
As to speculation about being crazy, I can’t help you, as that would require first establishing a working definition of sanity.
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I know writers who have more unlovely reactions, RES. :)
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This sort of discussion is a little depressing, since it definitely implies that I’m not a “real” writer. I don’t get any of that sort of reaction. Of course, I don’t produce much, either.
If I added to your stress I want to apologize. I’m aware that I tend to be more than a bit of a leech, but specific episode awareness is an ex post facto thing. People who know me reasonably well learn to give off “go away” vibes, ranging from subtle clues to threatening with weapons.
Regards,
Ric
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You did not add to my stress. I felt very comfortable with you and had fun hanging out. It provided a respite from being “on”. You’ll come to feel it, as the con becomes more a place of work I think. Of course, you work with people (okay and horses) I think this has more to do with my spending 8 to 10 hours alone every day.
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I’m reminded of Kate the Blogess (thebloggess.com, a fun timewaster) who says that her five-year plan is to never be stable enough to be the kind of person who has a five-year plan. And she’s totally on track.
Maybe you should move to the country. I can’t promise it would be lizard-free, though.
Regards,
Ric
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Have you thought of getting an assistant? I describe my favorite part time job as “herding cats” – the cat in question usually being an artist who is far less stressed and far more productive when he knows that someone else is making sure the grocery shopping is done, errands are run, food will miraculously show up at photo shoots (and bug dope, too! And sunscreen! And water!), his suitcase will be packed for cons, his clients and their projects ruthlessly organized (My name’s not Ruth), mail is opened and taken care of, cat fed… And as for cons, assistants can do everything from booking the room to making sure you’re at the right panels at the right time, fed on time, and whisked away to private gatherings (or just to relax) as needed. This leaves the assisted more time to do what they want, with less stress.
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It’s on my list, as soon as I make enough money. That and sending the laundry out. I simply don’t make enough money. (Yet.)
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Whereupon all those stress-raisers are condensed and concentrated into a single issue: how the f* to write and sell enough to pay the assistant. This does not strike me as a significant improvement.
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well, it’s a goal. I just haven’t managed it so far. It might work, once you have so much in the bank, etc. But my friends I know — even the very wealthy — who have assistants, DO worry about that.
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I agree with the sentiment that it is good to get out of the house once in a while and converse with people in person. I often have stretches of several days where I don’t leave the house, and spent most of that in front of the computer. Which I don’t really mind. My wife sometimes has to drag me out of the house for a change of scenery. There are so many of my friends that I interact with online in social media sites that I never get the chance to meet in the real world. When I do, it is always a pleasure. Socializing actually energizes me though, especially when meeting so many people in such a short period of time. My biggest problem is remembering all the names! I always try to send out social media friend requests to people I meet at conventions to stay in touch with. I have made some really good friends at cons, and have been able to network with other writers and publishers so that it has led to some good opportunities to submit stories. And I have really enjoyed the con panels over these last few months. Oh and about the insane writer part. Yeah, I’ve been crazy for years now. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Again…coming late to the party.
My standard definition of “writer”: “A closet extrovert.”
JJB
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