Here we talk about writers groups, when they’re useful, when they’re not, and when you should run screaming into the night.
This is something I get asked about at every possible (and some impossible) writers venues. “Do I need a writers’ group?” “How do I find a writers’ group?” “How do I know if my writers’ group is bad for me?”
If I were to say “Probably”, “Varies” and “Is it making want to give up writing?” you’d be upset, so let’s get a little deeper.
Yes you probably need a writers’ group, particularly if you’re not selling yet, but are serious about selling eventually. And don’t be playing all professional and cool and saying “I want a group that just does critiques; I don’t need buddies. I already have buddies.”
Actually you need a writers’ group for TWO reasons: one is to critique you and give you a sense of what’s out there, outside your head; the other is for camaraderie and comfort. The first one is always imperfect – remember that – depending on where people are in your group, it might be very good or very, very bad. A lot of what raw beginners do is “share ignorance.” The second one is always imperfect, too – there is a lot of competition as well as support in any group worth its salt – but on the other hand there is empathy you won’t get anywhere else. Those other friends you have, who aren’t writers? Yeah… I’m going to quote from Kevin J. Anderson who should know “All writers need writer friends, because they’re the only ones who understand your crazy life and your crazy job.”
In a way, I would say particularly in the beginning, before you sell a word, the social function is more important than the critique function. It gives you a sense you’re neither alone nor completely around the twist. It gives you strength to keep going.
The critique is useful too, but sometimes writers groups are worse critique partners than your buddy from the army. Why? Because people tend to obsess on the things they’re fighting themselves. So, someone who is struggling with plotting will say “Hey, you know, you can’t plot.” Or focus on all the minor errors in your plotting that other readers might not even notice.
Here you need to get all psychological and take in account what your group is like and what each individual is fighting, before you decide to take the critique seriously.
Some rules help: No discussing of members’ submission before meeting – for ex – and copyedit marks in text but not spoken; also, member going late that found same issue as member before, just say “what she said” and don’t embroider, to avoid feeding frenzy; also, time critiques. Oh, yeah, and always allow rebuttal.
As for how to find a writers’ group… Well… danged if I know. My first one was formed by us falling in with each other more or less by accident, and added to by us putting an ad in local paper and library. The later might work for any of you.
As for whether your group is bad for you… Well, sometimes through no fault of its own, a group is bad for someone. We’ll leave aside the obvious, such as they’re all pros and you’re a newby (actually that one can be very, very good, depending on the pros) or they’re all newbys and you’re a pro; they all write romance and you write science fiction; they are a religious group and you write erotica. Beyond that, there is personal, undefinable, chemistry. Some people just rub you wrong/are rubbed wrong by you.
If you find your story gets pounded on all out of proportion to other people’s and there is no obvious reason for it, or that the critiques you get are blocking you, it’s time to move on. If you write a story a week and are in a group that doesn’t write, it’s time to move on. If going to group has become a chore, it’s time to move on. If the group just tells you everything is wonderful and bows to you, it’s time to move on.
Accept that in every writer’s life, unless very lucky, a time comes when they can’t have a group. There aren’t writers at their level (high or low) in the area. Other work won’t allow it. The people available are not the people you want. Etc.
At that point it’s time to remember you write for you and your readers, not group approval. It’s time to remember your own wellsprings, and maybe train a half a dozen first readers to give you perspective.
According To Hoyt 
If you have to choose between social-and-supportive or hard-assed-and-professional, take the latter. For one thing, you’ll probably find that people who are willing to tell you when something sucks are ultimately better friends than people who tell you everything is wonderful.
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yes, but there are ways to do it. When you’re by far the junior author, there’s a tendency to jump at once on everything you’re doing wrong. I’ve found doing this just stops most people cold. When faced with this sort of thing, I start with ONE thing I think the junior writer can improve easilly. When that’s down cold, I move to the next one. Over the course of a year you can make someone QUITE a good writer and not mold him in your image. OTOH the only people with whom I was BRUTAL — Robert, Dan, Amanda — improved MUCH faster, but you need to make sure they’re the sort of people you won’t crush. But yes, just fluffy won’t do anything. OTOH keep both groups. Go to one for the cookies and pat on the back, and the other for the hard-nose critiquing.
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