I won’t even go into how I got into this, but it started with talking about a chicken’s eyes. Then looking at chickens online. (Hey, like you don’t look at stuff on line. First stone, buddy, first stone.) Of course, I didn’t need to look at chickens. I grew up with them (around. I mean, I wasn’t literally in the hen house.) But the kids didn’t and I wanted to show them the expression in chicken’s eyes.
Why, you ask? Oh, surely you can understand. If you’ve ever looked into a chicken’s eyes, you surely have a clue what is happening there. It’s as though every t-rex in the world is being reincarnated as a chicken over and over again.
In my head, this is what happens when one of us looks into a chicken’s eyes:
H (for human): mmmm fryer!
C (for chicken): Hey, hey, something is very wrong here!
H: Chicken soup!
C: I used to be much larger than your puny ancestors. They got caught in my teeth.
H: Chicken casserole!
C:In my dreams I still am. I stalk the world and your kind cowers.
H:Roast chicken.
C: Do you mind just lying down and letting me peck you to death? Shouldn’t take more than two hours, and it would do wonders for my self esteem.
H: What?
C: Not even for therapy? You mean, evil, cold b*stard. In my dreams I’m crunching you right now…
H:Chicken soup will make you feel better.
You’re making me hungry for T-Rex wings.
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Chickens
“Look into the eyes of a chicken and you will see real stupidity. It is a kind of bottomless stupidity, a fiendish stupidity. They are the most horrifying, cannibalistic and nightmarish creatures in the world.”
— Werner Herzog
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Rotesserie Chicken!
Damn, now I’m hungry.
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Baleful eye
My father had chickens. I cared for a Rhode Island Red my son acquired as a chick from 4-H from July 2000 until November 2007 when she was scared to death by a squirrel who gnawed into her cage for her grain.
A very stern, blood red and yellow eye.
JJB
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LOL – awesome!
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I believe it! Derf had a pet chicken when he was young (his name was Little Ricky!) and he was as ferocious as a Doberman.
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Cindy,
My dad a pet crow and a pet goat. Any rumors he was Odin are GROSSLY exagerated. (Beatific smile.)
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