They’re Baaaaaack

Posted on by Sarah A. Hoyt

Green Rudyard Kipling WITH AN AX, biatch! Your argument is invalid!

The Gods of the Copybook Headings – Rudyard Kipling

 

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,

I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.

Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,

And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

 

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn

That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:

But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,

So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

 

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,

Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,

But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come

That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

 

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,

They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;

They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;

So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

 

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.

They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.

But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,

And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

 

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life

(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)

Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,

And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

 

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,

By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;

But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,

And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

 

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew

And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true

That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four

And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

 

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man

There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.

That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,

And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

 

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins

When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,

As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,

The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

 

336 thoughts on “They’re Baaaaaack”

  1. The LibProgs will be caught totally unaware. After all, they don’t read Kipling, he was an Oppressor from the White Patriarchy.

    . . . .which is also why my daughters never encountered Kipling in public school, but we made sure there were several books around the house.

    Well-thumbed ones, now. . .

    1. Someone put a book of his poems in the High School library.

      I knew “Gunga Din” from an uncle, and caught enough of “Female of the Species” to check out the book… and I think I read it a dozen times.

      Really need to print out the stuff that’s good for the kids to copy, like the one above!

    2. I was fortunate indeed that my high school library had the complete Kipling collection. And also the complete stories of Saki. But that was a long time ago.

    3. The Usual Suspects: “Kipling was a racist imperialist, thus nothing that he said or wrote has any value!”

      Of course, we grown-up are intelligent enough to realize that while a person may have been dead wrong about certain things, that those don’t invalidate the things they were right about.

        2. And now it turns out the doctor AND his fiancee are. . . Hipsters.

          Oh Boy, I can practically HEAR the Copybook Gods rubbing their hands in delight.

          And on a totally unrelated, and yet related note. . . . I put the complete works of Kipling in the Baen Bulk distribution. . .

          1. There is no union set between “Doctor” and “Hipster”.

            Now, his *wife* may have been one, but to get through college, medical school and a residency requires one be focused, dedicated and at least *moderately* hard working.

            A hipster might pull off one of those three.

      2. Except that most of the “raaaacist” stems from the fact that he used the language of his day. Read The Mother-Lodge for something that seems to come closer to his actual feelings.

        2. I was under the impression that the charges of raaaacist stemmed from his failure to apologise for Western Civilization and his assertion that it was, in fact, preferable to societies which crippled their women and enslaved their “inferiors” — as if the Lions of Multiculti offered better or even half as good. Having seen the Indian caste system upclose, Kipling was laboring under the burden of actual knowledge, a burden not shared by his critics.

          Besides, his poems rhymed, had meter and could be remembered by those lacking university degrees.

          1. Oh, those too. However, the n-word makes appearances, and some other un-PC of the period.

            1. “Here’s to you, Fuzzy-wuzzy” and so on. And not reading past the first four lines of “The White Man’s Burden” and “The Ballad of East and West.”

    5. For those thet may be tempted to Kiple a little after this (and who wouldn’t rather be kipling?) I have this page

      http://di2.nu/files/kipling/

      Being the entire Kipling works in handy kindle ebook format.

      If I can be bothered to get calibre working again I’ll epub them too

        1. It says at the bottom of the page….

          The linux compiled mobipocket converter. These days I suspect Calibre would be a better choice

    2. I came to the sudden realization that Obama’s reluctance to quarantine African travel may be because he himself IS 1/2 African. He’s NOT an
      african-american and that may help explain his strange behavior.

      1. Nah. he’s all American. his ancestors aren’t from Liberia, so his ancestors would hate those other tribes. It’s only Americans who view Africans as “a people.”
        He’s American. Just a red diaper baby.

        1. Don’t forget those years he spent as a child in Indonesia under Islam. Or his experience with doggy treat street food.

          1. Plus his baby daddy was a drunk Nigerian communist, so he’s red diaper from both sides, and I believe I’ve heard the Nigerians claim him as one of their own.
            FWIW, I graduated from the University of Hawaii around the time of his birth and there was a whole communist clique there going back to the 40’s.
            Those that wore shoes often wore red socks as a subtle code.

  5. Kipling sure had this right. A very poetic way of saying “Reality will not be denied”.

  6. A soldier run over in Quebec, a soldier shot in Ottawa. Now police officers attacked in New York. “Workplace violence” sure is spreading, isn’t it?

      1. We all should be. I know that I switched to coat packing because I can reach it faster– the school shooting (turned out to be a guy trying to kill his cousin and the girl he “took,” ended in suicide, sadly one girl died as well) didn’t help anybody’s state of mind.

            1. Nope, it’s policy by now. And I’m happy that it is. The Usual Suspects, of course, complained that the government was persecuting Muslims, but when the plots included grabbing random innocent citizenry of all walks of life – ranging from non-white migrants to elderly of any stripe and background – and draping them with the black flag of Mohammed and then beheading them in public, it was clear that the people getting their arses hauled off were not in any way or form peaceful or had intentions of living peacefully, and that it wasn’t the government drawing the line, it was the terrorists.

                1. Yep, and that’s but one of the reasons why she and Labor got so massively voted out of office.

                  Quite nice to see that happen. Sadly, I couldn’t participate in elections yet. I would have voted Liberal too (I know, that sounds so strange to me too. *grin* )

                  1. I think with this crowd we shouldn’t need to ‘splain that Liberal in Oz is what we would consider Republican/Conservative.
                    Or as I said once … Real Liberals. Not the faux libs who are more fascist/communist we got here.

                    1. I’d figure not (especially since we have Kate and Dave Freer as regulars, off the top of my head), but it still doesn’t stop being strange to me (Two – three years of Aussie living versus a lifetime of framing things in the way American politics do? Gonna take me a while.)

                      And yes, Classic Liberals. (I made sure to remind hubby to vote, because he was voting on my behalf as well – I’ll take my turn when I get citizenship, gladly. Happily, both he and I were of the same opinion on who to vote for.)

      3. Not the same at all. You Ausies are worried about an attack by an Islamic terrorist with a religious-political agenda. In the Americas (US and Canada at least) we have workplace violence with no reference to religion. It is just am unpleasant coincidence that most of the people committing the violence are Islamic, when you can learn their religion which isn’t germane and is only reported by biased news services.

        1. >.o I’m gonna squint and take that as lathered with the sarcasm I’d normally attribute to the regulars here.

          Because unfortunately for us all, there are people who really DO believe this crap as real, because it makes them feel ‘safer’ somehow… and it’s getting hard to tell which is sarcasm and irony and which is said by a True Believer.

          *sad smile*

  8. And the thing of it is, we can’t TALK about any of it because of political correctness, and anything we say is fascistic cisgender-normative racist hatespeech because of our internalized misogyny or…

    wow, that rolled off the fingers easily. Crap, how much of this have I internalized?

    1. I could probably do a brilliant imitation of an SJW if I really wanted to.

      Fortunately, I don’t.

      1. Somehow “brilliant” seems the antithesis of any SJW. Glittery, with its implication of superficial shininess obscuring an inherent lack of substance, seems the more appropriate word.

        1. Oh, I could glitter. I could glitter so much they’d be dazzled by my Social Justice Warmongering and would embrace me as their own.

          Until they found my comments on this blog.

            1. I’m beginning to wonder if I need one. I’m a commenter on this blog and I frequently report on the idiot tweets of the opposition. Maybe I’m just tired of hiding.

              1. Are you sure you are the same person? Perhaps the commenter on this blog has merely stolen your identity. You don’t look much like you.

            2. Considering their preferred tactics, perhaps the “W” derives from J. Wellington Wimpy.

              Wimpy is soft-spoken, very intelligent, and well educated, but also cowardly, very lazy, overly parsimonious and utterly gluttonous.
              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Wellington_Wimpy#Character

              Catchphrases include “Let’s you and him fight.” “I’d like to invite you over to my house for a duck dinner… …You bring the ducks!” “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a tax increase today”

              Those only familiar with the character as portrayed in movies cannot easily appreciate how much greater depth (or rather, shallowness) of character he had in the comic strip.

          1. Don’t know. On those occasions that I find it to do an SJW rant I feel that I must be far better of with it out of me.

    1. “As I said, this piece isn’t about gaming. It’s about finding yourself convicted of malice because you didn’t make the proper adulatory sounds on cue.”

      Could apply to many of our current woes.

    2. Which he twists with exquisite* skill:
      In the real-world future, perhaps women will be grievously injured in numbers that match their proportion in the population, in the name of progress, but for now we’re stuck with the stubborn facts of history.

      *Mandatory Descriptor; when someone goes all Zorro with dagger type words, it is twisted and the word “exquisite” must be used. I think it’s in the sequel to Tough Guide to Fantasy Land.

                1. “Get yer finger away from that trigger young man or you ain’t goin’ shootin’ agin!”

                  That’s a trigger warning, as we give them around here.

                    3. Maybe in the next shifters book.

                      I understand that in the shifter-verse all SJWs are coyotes and weasels. Or maybe it is all the coyotes and weasels are SJWs — I admit to some confusion.

                    6. OK, that explains alot.

                      I don’t believe I have ever seen it before.

                      Not sure I needed to.

                      Strangely compelling.

            1. It seems to me I have vague recollections of a dagger with a spring-loaded ejectable blade. Likely from some long ago Man From U.N.C.L.E. episode. It probably didn’t require a trigger so much as a release stud, but I don’t think we’re quite up to needing stud warnings.

              That one does require a trigger.

            2. seen personally what looked like a round handled dagger, and with a push of a trigger stud it launched with enough force to stick in a pine tree from about 20 feet away. The spring was so stout, you needed a sloted board to push on to reset the thing. if you just pushed on the tip it might trigger trying to pull it back out.
              I don’t think it was the safest item I have ever been around. Kinda the Makarov of knives. you never knew if or when it was gonna go off for little reason.

              1. So that dagger had premature ejection issues?

                While I admit to preferring Tokarev’s I’ve never been around a Makarov those types of issues.

                1. imdeed it did.
                  and I worked with a guy who tried to unload his Makarov and the slide slipped before the round had gotten far enough out to eject and the slide movement was enough for it to fire and shoot himself in the thigh, then send the round out the door of his truck. He later loaded a magazine, then pulled the slide back, released it to load, and it went bang again.
                  Just to make sure they did the whole mag …. about half fired.
                  He then got rid of the POS as scrap metal.

                  1. My cousin was looking at a cheap Chinese Uzi knockoff (semi-auto) when he went to test fire it on about the third time he pulled the trigger it decided to slam-fire and empty the magazine. The owner informed him that, “Oh yeah, it does that sometimes, but only after you pull the trigger, so you have it pointed at something you want to shoot, so it is perfectly safe.” 😦 Then the owner inserted a new magazine and went to holster it, dropped it and it went off, luckily only one round.

                    Needless to say my cousin didn’t buy it.

                    1. I guess sparky didn’t realize he then had a class 3 firearm and if not a holder of a C3 license was in violation of the law.
                      Well, that, and a total moron.

                    2. Call it a superstitious belief, if you will, but I have this irrational understanding that if you pull the trigger, and more bullets come out than you intended, it’s a safety hazard.

                      Among the reasons: at a bare minimum, it’s a waste of ammo; if your gun is going full-auto, and you’re only expecting one shot, it doesn’t matter if it’s pointed at its intended target, because you could lose control of the weapon; chances are, it’s the cause of a malfunction in the weapon, and such malfunctions have been known to cause weapons in the past to literally go “kablooeee!” with accompanying shrapnel–indeed, the gun going off when it was dropped was likely another symptom that the gun itself had a broken part or two.

                      And this doesn’t even touch on the legal dangers. While, strictly speaking, “shall not be infringed” properly includes machine guns, I have yet to see a prosecutor, judge, or jury sympathetic to this claim. (I have, on the other hand, seen accounts of people railroaded through the justice system, who were otherwise innocent of any wrong-doing, for machine-gun issues…)

                  1. At one time, you could buy a similar thing out of the back certain magazines. IIRC, they were imported from Russia, a copy of Spetznaz issue, supposedly. Later, they offered the grapnel attachment. I was under the impression that the ballistic knives had been outlawed, at least in certain jurisdictions.

  10. “The wages of sin are death” piece really was not appropriate. She was not a sinner. Though it almost brought me to the “Kill them all. The lord will surely know his own” (if any) point.

      1. As was said in the article it is not a brothel in is a rape house. The sinners are not the girls, but the men. I pray for those girls.

            1. I’ll toss in a can of .223. Especially if you can arrange for me to deliver it in person 🙂

              1. What with the economy and little (and *sigh* big) mouths to feed, brass is dear.

                However, a good, solid rope never goes out of style. Or, to make the punishment fit the crime, a sharpened stake. I’ll stop there. Got *no* sympathy for the despoilers of innocence.

                1. Let’s just say that I have no qualms against destroying those that use religion for an excuse to do what no sane man would ever do. ARCLIGHT strikes in the neighborhood sound about right to me.

                2. No matter how bad things are, there’s always room for a charity, and since I’ve got the ammo, I might as well offer it.

                  And yes, rope is useful, especially since when you’re done you can take the rope and put it in a glass case in prominent places all around, nicely coiled with bits of hair and skin on it, in a nice nitrogen heavy atmosphere so decay is minimized. And you put a sign on it that says “You kill or rape in the name of religion, then you dance on the end of string. This string.”

                  Would work for politicians too.

  12. I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, but I’d never read that before. And to be completely honest, I thought that all the references the the Gods of the Copybook Headings here were about the big publishing houses.

    So, to our esteemed hostess, I say thank you… You helped educate someone today.

    1. You must be new here. It’s the Huns’ anthem. We post it. . . hmmm. . . . been a while since we posted it every week or so.

      1. A few months… I think I started coming here after Witchfinder was published and I picked it up after an Instalanche.

          1. I figured those references were just part of the blog history, like calling the regulars Huns (unless you actually did rampage across Europe?). I didn’t realize it was a Kipling poem.

            1. We don’t talk about the rampage across Europe. There was liquor involved, and obscure facts.

              We recently sent an emissary back on a tour, but I’m sure it’s not true that the red hair caused fainting spells. Surely European men are made of sterner stuff…?

                1. Shhh! Somebody’ll ask to see the shelf in the back.

                  And what if somebody looks too closely in the glass case between the bourbon and the scotch?

                  For that matter, I’m not sure we’ve straightened up the reading nook recently. CACS had a stack by her chair the other day…

                  1. A bit unfocused, looks around the side of the large wingback chair where curled up reading Anthony Trollope’s The Warden. Taking a moment for a sip of rum, says, “Did someone address me?” After another sip leans back in chair and pulls the afghan back up mumbling ‘such lovely sentences.’

                    1. No-no. Don’t mind me.

                      *refreshes snack tray, ensures rum bottle is adequate to the night’s reading, gently turns book stack so the rare titles aren’t visible from the door, unobtrusively slides away*

                      Those books are safe. No one would shuffle through her stack. No one we’d have to worry about again, at any rate.

              2. Hey, I resemble that statement! And the Magyars were quite willing to let bygones be bygones. Something about “Since you’re not a Mongol or Turk, we can compare axes and riding tricks.” The Bohemians wouldn’t come far enough out of their castles to talk much, though . . .

                1. Ah, I wondered where the good axes wandered off to. I’ll leave the oil on the bench for you.

                  2. Thanks. I finished checking teh water stones and they’re all good for the next while as long as _someone_ *glares in vaguely doorward direction* remembers not to leave the lid on the tub open. Again.

                    1. There was a sign about that. Last I saw of it, it was being used as a spill for the turbo-barbeque.

                    3. Oooo…I really like the clean and simple lines, with a touch of embellishment.

                      Very nice. So, of course, allow me to note you’re mean. I have no place to place a sword!

                      But now I want!

                  1. Hm. Hungarian bows. Looks interesting, thanks. I don’t live that far from Hungary, and I’m planning to do some travel anyway, maybe get an Interrail card for older folks one summer, might see if I can get to the manufacturer… 🙂

                    Have to admit shooting from horseback would probably be best forgotten for me. Right now I can just barely ride.

                    2. sarc> Well of course, everyne knows Finns and Magyars are practically first cousins /Sarc>

                    3. NO, no, first cousins are like almost inbreeding* Finns and Magyars are at least second cousins. Insinuating that they are first cousins might discourage Poj from knocking some nice Magyar man on the head to drag home to husband.

                      *The popularity of first cousin marriages in Europe could explain a fair amount of the mental retardation in their current ruling classes.

                    4. As the twice-removed product of a cousin marriage — my grandparents on my mom’s side were son and daughter of two brothers — actually depends on the stock. In our family it seemed to run to extremes. Half very smart and the other half… not.

                  2. depending on how you plan to draw it, any horse bow is going to be fairly stout hitting if you just compensate a bit for your shorter draw. Most are marked 28″ draw, and even a shorter person can come close to that if they draw thumb style or hold back by the ear even using a three finger hold (I draw 3 fingers under but had a slightly shorter hold so I got a heavy 65#@24″, and as my draw grew, ended at near 70-75#, but it was only a few inches more. I got a cheap U-Finish from Attila’s back when I was just coming back financially. (I think he has another site as well but forget what its addy is) Love it. Fast, strong, and good shooting (for me).
                    Sadly, my shoulder, elbow, and hand on my draw arm are not doing well as they could from work, so I should get a weaker draw and build it back up. 70+ pounds is a bit much for doing that. But I keep finding other things demanding my money (4 motorbikes, computer deaths etc.), so it gets put off.

                    1. Oh, I hear you on the ‘other things demanding my money.’ In order of me wanting a weapon, pistol (Rhys and I half-joke that it’ll be my ‘engagement ring.’ The moment I slide my finger through that trigger guard, I’m ‘engaged’ – cackle! ) bow, and rifle (Rifle is lower on the list because of my being such a short little thing that the cost of finding a nice adjustable stock costs more than three bows, if I’m not mistaken.)

                      Plus I’d have to handle more bows to find one that would fit my weeny little palms.

                    2. all those on your link, and most of those at Attila’s are rather small in diameter in the hand grip. On mine, I built up a grip with layers of leather (I cannot shoot as well right off the knuckle. I need a bit of space for what ever reason … I am the anti-Fred Bear). Without the leather the handle is about in metric 1.8cm by 3cm. Or 3/4 by 1 1/8 inches thereabout. Not very big, and all you really need is a slight grip around the front and even a small kid has held mine with the grip on and did okay holding on (she couldn’t pull it far, strung they start quite high, but she got the arrow to the target, but she did some gymnastics, so she had good strength for her size). Unless you plan on hunting Buffalo, some of the youth sized ones come up to 35-40#

            2. From Starship Troopers. The unit takes its name from the head, eg Rico’s roughnecks.
              So these are Hoyt’s Huns or Hoydens, depending. And we’ve all been accused of being to the right of Atila the Hun. (Not that it’s hard, he was a bit of a collectivist.)

        2. It also turns up on other blogs from time to time. Ace of Spades HQ and Instapundit will both post it or make reference to it periodically.

            1. First read it in one of the anthologies edited by Jerry Pournelle, ‘There Will ne War’ I think, or maybe ‘Imperial Stars’.

        2. Its like “The Star Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful” are the nation’s anthem and its runner up….

            1. The Star Spangled Banner is basically a poetic way of saying, “If you’re drawing fire, you must by over the target.”

              1. No I think it’s a poetic warning about the innacuracy of uguided powered missiles.Something that Hamas and Hezbollah are busy relearning. At least the Royal Navy stopped using the things after a few years or embarassing failures

                1. there’s the Lee Greenwood version and the country version. can’t remember the singer’s name.

            5. Ehhh, maybe. I think of it more like a husband’s ode to his lovely wife.
              And if you touch her, you will pay. Through the nose and whatever other holes you happen to end up with.

          1. Ah, so you are saying our TWO anthems are…

            THREE! Our THREE anthems…

            …I’ll come in again.

            1. I suspect may be some are partial to God Bless America and there are likely a few who enjoy God Bless the U.S.A..

              But, for reasons of its origin, if not its ease of singing The Star Spangled Banner is the anthem — and not just the national.

                1. Oh yes. Also memories of various bowdlerizations learned while going to school – as was recently demonstrated.

                  1. ‘Gory gory what a hell of a way to die/
                    And he ain’t gonna jump no more!”

                    Which is a good way to get a mild lecture (back then) from the college chaplain about “music appropriate for the chapel.” (I was practicing the piano part of the hymn but singing my adopted-grandfather’s words, because I thought the chaplain was still at lunch. Oops.)

                    3. Call me old-fashioned, call me retro, but I admit to being partial to “John Brown’s body lies a’moulderin’ in the grave …“

                2. I’m a geek and my dad played in a civil war band for years. I’m partial to Hail Columbia. Good enough for Washington, good enough for me.

                  1. How about Stars and Stripes forever?

                    Though, as far as I know, it has no official words. (Lots of unofficial words. “Be kind to your fine feathered friends . . . “)

                    1. Those of us of a Certain Age may recall the impromptu can-can kick-lines that always formed during the Boston Pops 4th of July celebrations and that were duly broadcast on TV when they played “Stars and Stripes Forever.” 🙂

                  2. You know, some year you might consider collecting song suggestions for the Fourth of July.

                    (I mean other than the national anthem and the nearly the entirety of 1776.)

                    4. Well of course — gathering shortly before false dawn, with the service timed so all will be singing, O say can you see by the dawn’s early light… as the sun rises above the horizon.

                    6. Is it as long as the Rosh HaShanah (New Year’s) service? I think that’s about 4 hours long.

                    8. Of course it is longer. It takes quite all day for the truly faithful.

                      There is singing. There is the reading of The Declaration. And more singing. And fireworks. And more singing still.

                      Somewhere on the grounds a performance of 1776 (a’ la The Messiah, in case you are wondering).

                      And throughout the day there is a reading of the Constitution, Bill of Rights and Amendments with commentary (as in the reading of the law in Nehemiah 8) going on for those who choose to attend.

                      Or at least this is how I envision it, but I am not the author…

                    9. That’s how I envision it too.
                      and there’s a picnic. And a little girl raised by two very odd men gets dressed in flouncy frocks in red white and blue, with bows on her pigtails…

                    11. Sigh … in my envisioning, based on the accounts in letters by German settlers in Texas … there were parades, horse and foot-races, shooting matches (at which the winner had to buy drinks for all comers) and scratch orchestras performing for dancing until dawn …
                      We used to have all day 4th of July marathon celebrations at military bases. Can we get back to that? One can only hope.

                    15. Boys aren’t so amenable to dress-up … unless you give them combat fatigues with battle rattle, or let them dress up like a continental soldier.
                      (There will be no singing of … can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier …, thank you very much.)

                      I do not wish to initiate a debate on the theme: Be it hereby resolved, little girls are cuter than little boys.

                      There can be no debate on that.

                    16. I don’t know if girls are inherently cuter than boys, but little girls definitely get a much higher multiplier out of cute outfits– though that maybe something like 5 gazillion vs 4 gazillion.

                      It can be hard to measure precisely with such high levels of cute.

                    18. “The Fightin’ Side Of Me”

                      I hear people talkin’ bad,
                      About the way we have to live here in this country,
                      Harpin’ on the wars we fight,
                      An’ gripin’ ’bout the way things oughta be.
                      An’ I don’t mind ’em switchin’ sides,
                      An’ standin’ up for things they believe in.
                      When they’re runnin’ down my country, man,
                      They’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

                      Yeah, walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
                      Runnin’ down the way of life,
                      Our fightin’ men have fought and died to keep.
                      If you don’t love it, leave it:
                      Let this song I’m singin’ be a warnin’.
                      If you’re runnin’ down my country, man,
                      You’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

                      I read about some squirrely guy,
                      Who claims, he just don’t believe in fightin’.
                      An’ I wonder just how long,
                      The rest of us can count on bein’ free.
                      They love our milk an’ honey,
                      But they preach about some other way of livin’.
                      When they’re runnin’ down my country, hoss,
                      They’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

                      Yeah, walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
                      Runnin’ down the way of life,
                      Our fightin’ men have fought and died to keep.
                      If you don’t love it, leave it:
                      Let this song I’m singin’ be a warnin’.
                      If you’re runnin’ down my country, man,
                      You’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

                      Yeah, walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
                      Runnin’ down the way of life,
                      Our fightin’ men have fought and died to keep.
                      If you don’t love it, leave it:
                      Let this song I’m singin’ be a warnin’.
                      If you’re runnin’ down my country, man,
                      You’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

                    22. You’re welcome. Apparently someone else (Foxfire?) posted it as well, but I hadn’t caught up with that part of the thread yet.

    2. This blog introduced me to Kipling’s poetry. Before I started visiting, I knew Kipling mainly from the Just So stories.

  13. I beg to differ. The Gods of the Copyright Headings are not here for the Left. The Left is increasing their vile power daily. They will rule for the next billion years. The ONLY chance we have is to begin KILLING them NOW.

    Just now, these demons cackled with Satanic glee when some COWARD attacked two of Sarah Palin’s daughters.

    These are not humans. They are DEVILS.

    LET THE CLEANSING BEGIN.

      1. They aren’t “corrupted,” because they’ve never been in a higher state to be corrupted FROM. They don’t work, they don’t serve in the military, they don’t have any interests even, other than personal pleasure and breaking the boredom of their constant pleasure by hurting people who contribute.

        You are handicapped by your inability to hate these vile trash.

        1. She’s handicapped by her inability to hate those “trash” … hmmm. Can’t figure out if you are a troll or just not paying attention.

          I’ll just say that “not hating” is never a handicap.

          1. Awwwww…. Sarah! There was still some chew left!!!

            Foul taste, but plenty of chew — my guess is Moose Jerky.

            1. Maybe it’s because I work in a lab, but if something is suspected of being chlamydia, I don’t want to know how much chew is left in it.

          2. Aw poo. I stay up all day and wake up early in the morning and my chew toy is already banished?! *sigh*

            😉

        3. You are handicapped by your hatred.

          Though it’s likely you’re a troll, I have a policy of treating ramblings like yours as serious… To justify ignoring any future bleating about how you were “just trolling” when the consequences of your spewage starts having a bad effect on you.

        4. ” They don’t work, they don’t serve in the military, they don’t have any interests even, other than personal pleasure and breaking the boredom of their constant pleasure by hurting people who contribute. ”

          Yet there is no hope of overcoming them? Pray tell, how is that?

    4. Sorry Jack, but the Left’s madness will fall before Reality as they don’t recognize Reality and thus can’t “fight” against their Real Enemy which is the Real World.

      You say that they are “increasing their power daily”?

      They can’t even prevent people from becoming distrustful about the Left’s “Chosen One”.

      Even the News Media is reporting the “lack of faith” of the American people toward Obama.

      No Jack, things may be tough in the near future but the “Gods of the Copybooks” are coming for the Left.

        1. I think he had “Gone Over To The Dark Side” before he even came here but now he’s gone from here. [Smile]

  14. I was in the Nobel Museum in Stockholm Wednesday. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Kipling won a Nobel Prize for The Jungle Book.
    Modern committee probably wishes they could rescind it!

      1. While I am a firm believer in peace through superior firepower; one does have to expect some rather odd choices from a committee that named an International Peace Prize after the inventor of TNT.

            1. The irony is that had he not endowed those prizes nobody would today remember him as the inventor of that useful product (just as we’ve largely forgotten why it was useful and what it replaced.)

              What % of the public would you wager can tell you who invented C4?

                1. Culled from Wikki:

                  In 1875 Nobel invented gelignit, more stable and powerful than dynamite, and in 1887 patented ballistite, a forerunner of cordite.

                  The British went from there and during WWII came up with what was used by the US as Composition C. In 1958 Phillips Petroleum Co. patented C-4.

            1. Dynamite is shelf stable and not impact sensitive. Nobel developed it as a direct response to the accidental death by explosion of his brother at their TNT manufactory.

  15. Magnificent!
    I’ve seen the poem itself out there before, even once in my friend’s long-inactive “Four Horsemen of the Obamaclypse” blog; but,
    now the hyper-ANNOTATED G.o.t.C.H.?
    This is what hypertext was born to do.

    (Our editor’s choice of source is impeccable; “With the Night Mail” is pure SF, “Wireless” is an eerily-interesting take on creativity, and I’ve never even seen most of his stuff.)

    Kipling as Kali (or even Mahakali) is also an inspired and historically-literate touch…

    1. You might check out Gutenberg.org. Thay have most of Kipling available for download, and it’s free. I discovered “Puck of Pook’s Hill” and the two follow-on versions. Excellent way to teach history!

        2. Who, me? (Tried to look innocent) I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. I would never intentionally almost make a dirty comment.

          What? Don’t you believe me?

      1. Mr. Whittle needs someone to sit him down and mansplain color and how to choose ties.

          1. Hard to run sitting down. Believe me, I have tried. Much more efficient to run on your own two feet, not someone else’s.

            But yes, he ought to stand for office. *grin*

        2. The monochrome tie and suit combination may be a nod to the Cary Grant style of sartorial splendor, something that few but Mr. Grant himself could pull off with such aplomb.

          1. Mr. Grant could pull off a greasy mechanic’s shirt and prison stripes.

            Mr. Grant was a moviestar and a hell of a dancer.

            Mr. Whittle doesn’t look bad in *this* video, but the lack of color in his wardrobe occasionally makes him looked washed out.

    1. When the Blogmistress is called to delete any comments, all comments in that nest become orphaned.

      2. If it helps, make appropriate changes to this cartoon and title it: What LibProgs Hear

        The principle is the same.

  21. Meh. I’m gonna take my tea and a copy of Hammers Slammers and curl up for a quiet read over here in the . . . Oops, sorry Pete. Try that door over there.

      2. Funny, that’s what the med crew asked when they woke up and notice [other pilot] in the back with them, after he’d used the relief system. “Otto. You know, Otto Pilot.” That’s when about half the crew members decided to at least learn how to keep the planes straight and more-or-less level.

  22. So my only problem with this poem is the referral to the “Gods of the Market Place” which is rather ambiguous. The gods of the (free) market are closely related to the Gods of the Copybook Headings, although those of a Marxist persuasion might not realize this.

    I presume the holy Rudyard was trying to shorten “The Gods of the demagogue preaching on his soapbox in the market place annoying the fishmongers and other mongers trying to sell their wares” which is, I admit, a tad long and fails to scan

    1. Market place, not market– the pretty promises that sound great but evaporate when you try to actually grab them.

      Might help to remember that a free market requires something to keep it free, and that’s pretty rare! (See also, right to your own labor, etc)

      1. Would these be the public gods that everyone claims to support as a form of social positioning, as opposed to the lares and penates of the home who we should really attend to?

        1. I like the poetry of that, but it doesn’t seem to work– the examples, ie the moon is made of cheese, seem to be more about tempting people into WANTING to believe.

          Kind of like how Communism sounds so good– from each by their ability, to each by their need– and it’s only when you look at what actually happens, all the time that it’s horrible.

  23. Sorry, I meant I’d have to try to brew a wine from jalapeños. I’d love to go down there but I just can’t afford the trip right now.

    Sorry misunderstood. Anyway on my sampling Jalapenos and booze are generally a better combination if you a) go for the “opt on the side of less” and b) have some other ingredients that can stand up to the spice and complement as opposed to fight it.

    For example Ballast Point did a Jalapeno Sculpin IPA which was not good, the hops and the peppers were clearly not happy together.

    And I say that as a person who is about to open a bottle of regular Sculpin and who tends to tell the waiters at Indian and Thai restaurants that I want food spiced to the level that they (and/or the cook) would find appropriate if they ate it themselves.

    1. I was thinking a jalapeño base with honey to cut the burn a little. I wonder if it would mellow if I roasted the jalapeños first. Should come out 8-12% alcohol. No hops at all. Peppers don’t need bittering.

        1. Yes that is definitely what I’m cogitating on. Properly it would be considered a melomel as peppers are a fruit. It would need a light, sweet honey to offset the capsacin.

    2. Hot peppers, including jalapenos, and hops go together very well. Just serve hot pepper rich food with beer and see if I am mistaken.

      1. Oh agreed. But you eat one then drink the other, as opposed to encountering both flavors simultaneously

  24. Ah, the lovely effect on the comments when a comment gets yanked.

    I can work out most of it because I saw a fair number in still in the tree format.

  25. A comment on Kipling and “Imperialism”, I’ve heard that India considers his book Kim one of the great works of Indian Literature. Having read it, IMO Kim is as much “love affair with India” as it is a coming of age story. [Smile]

    2. I learned more about India from reading Kim (well, and the Jungle Books) than I ever did in school. Made quite an impression. Heck, I have vague memory of cursing someone for a son of a streetsweeper in my early teens. 😀

  27. Pingback: The Gods Of The Copybook Headings | Transterrestrial Musings

  28. I often get the feeling that as a nation we are standing in our front yard in our underwear waving a beer bottle and yelling “Yo ! Gods of the Copybook Headings ! Yeah you ! Over here ! Your momma dresses you funny and your ####’s all retarded !” .

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